1 00:00:04,512 --> 00:00:05,845 Previously on The Affair... 2 00:00:05,845 --> 00:00:07,303 I don't want to have to pay the rent by myself every month. 3 00:00:07,303 --> 00:00:10,136 Let's just go get married at city hall tonight. 4 00:00:10,136 --> 00:00:12,011 I want a wedding, at my grandparents' house. 5 00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:13,970 Whitney, this marriage thing, 6 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,345 you don't have to do it, you know. 7 00:00:15,345 --> 00:00:17,011 But, actually, Dad, I do, because if I don't, 8 00:00:17,011 --> 00:00:18,553 then Colin has to leave the country. 9 00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:22,387 I'm desperate for a date to my opening tomorrow. 10 00:00:22,387 --> 00:00:24,720 -Dashiell Boucicault. -Hi. 11 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,845 [Furkat] He likes to watch. 12 00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:29,720 He could give you a gallery. 13 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:30,845 -[Ben] I'm married. -Thank you 14 00:00:30,845 --> 00:00:32,387 for finally telling me. 15 00:00:32,387 --> 00:00:34,512 -That's it? -What do you want me to say? 16 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,970 Doesn't matter. You love me, too. 17 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:39,053 Oh, it does matter. And I don't forgive you. 18 00:00:39,053 --> 00:00:41,595 And how can I tell you I love you? I don't even know you. 19 00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:44,303 [both grunting] 20 00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:53,720 [wind whooshing] 21 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,804 [EJ] You're working so calmly 22 00:00:56,804 --> 00:00:59,053 in the place where your mother died. 23 00:00:59,053 --> 00:01:00,970 [Joanie] You were right. 24 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,553 She died at the jetty. 25 00:01:02,553 --> 00:01:04,929 [EJ] Why was your dad obsessing about a Marine 26 00:01:04,929 --> 00:01:06,804 named Benjamin Cruz? 27 00:01:06,804 --> 00:01:09,095 I think he killed her. 28 00:01:16,762 --> 00:01:19,345 ♪ I was screaming into the canyon ♪ 29 00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:22,470 ♪ At the moment of my death ♪ 30 00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:26,095 ♪ The echo I created ♪ 31 00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:29,595 ♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪ 32 00:01:29,595 --> 00:01:32,720 ♪ My voice it made an avalanche ♪ 33 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,053 ♪ And buried a man I never knew ♪ 34 00:01:36,053 --> 00:01:39,261 ♪ And when he died, his widowed bride ♪ 35 00:01:39,261 --> 00:01:41,887 ♪ Met your daddy and they made you ♪ 36 00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:43,804 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 37 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,011 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 38 00:01:46,011 --> 00:01:48,637 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 39 00:01:48,637 --> 00:01:50,553 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 40 00:01:50,553 --> 00:01:53,053 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 41 00:01:53,053 --> 00:01:55,053 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 42 00:01:55,053 --> 00:01:57,178 ♪ I have only one thing to do ♪ 43 00:01:57,178 --> 00:01:59,387 ♪ And that's be the wave that I am, and then ♪ 44 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:03,011 ♪ Sink back into the ocean, sink back into the ocean ♪ 45 00:02:03,011 --> 00:02:04,512 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 46 00:02:04,512 --> 00:02:05,970 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 47 00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,970 ♪ Sink back into the o... ♪ 48 00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,470 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 49 00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:11,637 ♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪ 50 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,512 ♪ "Walking with a Stranger" by Chris Staples ♪ 51 00:02:27,512 --> 00:02:29,261 ♪♪♪ 52 00:02:48,261 --> 00:02:51,762 ♪ Well, it sure took forever ♪ 53 00:02:51,762 --> 00:02:55,011 ♪ But the summer finally came ♪ 54 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,428 ♪ Felt like walking with a stranger ♪ 55 00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:04,470 ♪ Who didn't even know her name ♪ 56 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,970 ♪ Pretty soon I grew accustomed ♪ 57 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:14,970 ♪ To her warm and sunny way ♪ 58 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,720 ♪ Pretty soon I would forget ♪ 59 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,845 ♪ About those frigid winter days ♪ 60 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,887 ♪ If you just stay true... ♪ 61 00:03:28,887 --> 00:03:31,345 Thank God you're here. 62 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,804 Your grandfather's been driving me bonkers. 63 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,053 [laughs softly] 64 00:03:35,053 --> 00:03:37,095 -Noah. -Margaret. 65 00:03:37,095 --> 00:03:38,887 -Where's Helen? -Oh, I told you, Grandma. 66 00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:40,720 She couldn't come. She had to work. 67 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,095 Well, that's just disgusting. 68 00:03:42,095 --> 00:03:43,929 [Whitney] I don't think so. 69 00:03:43,929 --> 00:03:45,345 [Margaret] Well, of course it is. 70 00:03:45,345 --> 00:03:46,762 -[laughs softly] -This is your wedding. 71 00:03:46,762 --> 00:03:49,470 What could be more important than your wedding, Whitney? 72 00:03:49,470 --> 00:03:51,679 [Margaret] I swear I brought your mother up better than that. 73 00:03:51,679 --> 00:03:53,887 I really did. 74 00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:56,095 Oh, well. She's a lost cause. 75 00:03:56,095 --> 00:03:58,762 You're my only hope for happiness now. 76 00:03:58,762 --> 00:04:00,261 [Margaret] Ugh. Come upstairs. 77 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:02,970 I've laid out all the bridal magazines. 78 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:04,929 Noah, take Whitney's things to the blue room. 79 00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:06,220 You're in the basement. 80 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:08,261 Oh, and see if you can find Bruce. 81 00:04:08,261 --> 00:04:10,011 He'd be thrilled to see you. 82 00:04:13,428 --> 00:04:16,804 [clattering] 83 00:04:16,804 --> 00:04:19,845 Hey. Hey, Bruce. 84 00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:22,303 -Hi. -H-Hello. 85 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,804 [grunts] 86 00:04:24,804 --> 00:04:26,387 Who are you? 87 00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:29,136 Uh, Noah. 88 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,970 Noah. N-Noah Solloway? 89 00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,303 -I'm your ex-- -Oh, oh. Yes, of course. 90 00:04:34,303 --> 00:04:35,762 I'm so sorry. 91 00:04:35,762 --> 00:04:36,970 Uh, Bruce Butler. 92 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:39,470 Margaret told me you were coming. 93 00:04:39,470 --> 00:04:41,136 The writer. Uh... 94 00:04:41,136 --> 00:04:42,845 She says you've published multiple books. 95 00:04:42,845 --> 00:04:44,387 That's right, yeah. 96 00:04:44,387 --> 00:04:46,512 Wow, that's impressive. 97 00:04:46,512 --> 00:04:49,637 Uh, you know, there's a great expression. 98 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,887 Uh... 99 00:04:51,887 --> 00:04:55,512 "No one has one book in him, but..." 100 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,178 Um. It's, uh... 101 00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:59,512 I think it's, "Everyone has one book in them. 102 00:04:59,512 --> 00:05:01,428 Almost nobody has two." 103 00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:06,762 Oh. Uh... That's not very nice. 104 00:05:06,762 --> 00:05:09,720 Uh, you know, I always wanted to be a writer. 105 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,303 But there never seemed to be enough hours in the day. 106 00:05:13,303 --> 00:05:14,637 Yeah... 107 00:05:14,637 --> 00:05:17,178 Are you hungry? I was craving some, uh, 108 00:05:17,178 --> 00:05:19,345 some of these, uh... 109 00:05:19,345 --> 00:05:20,679 -some of these-- -Here. 110 00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:22,220 Bruce, let-let me make those for you. 111 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:23,929 No. No, no, you're our guest. 112 00:05:23,929 --> 00:05:27,178 You know... No, no. You... have-have some coffee. 113 00:05:27,178 --> 00:05:31,428 Uh, uh, I have no idea how to use that machine. 114 00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:34,178 Sure, I'll make some. 115 00:05:34,178 --> 00:05:37,470 Um, are you, uh, you married? 116 00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,553 Uh, no. Divorced. 117 00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:44,428 Twice, actually. 118 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:47,553 Well, that's probably why you have so much time to write. 119 00:05:47,553 --> 00:05:50,512 I'm more of a family man, myself. 120 00:05:51,845 --> 00:05:53,053 Bruce, no. 121 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,178 -[Bruce] Oh... -Oh, Jesus. 122 00:05:54,178 --> 00:05:56,720 [grunts] 123 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,387 -It's okay. -[Bruce stammers] 124 00:05:58,387 --> 00:06:00,220 -No... -I just, I just wanted to-- 125 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,470 [Margaret] It's-it's all right, it's all right. Shh, shh. 126 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:06,845 We're trying to set boundaries for Bruce. 127 00:06:06,845 --> 00:06:08,387 Some new expectations. 128 00:06:08,387 --> 00:06:09,512 While you're here, I'd appreciate it 129 00:06:09,512 --> 00:06:11,220 if you could help with that. 130 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,637 I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't know. 131 00:06:12,637 --> 00:06:13,887 Well, now you do. 132 00:06:13,887 --> 00:06:15,887 [Noah sighs] 133 00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:17,303 [Whitney] Hi. 134 00:06:17,303 --> 00:06:19,804 [chuckles] Ah. What are you doing here? 135 00:06:19,804 --> 00:06:23,720 -I'm getting married. -What? To this fellow? 136 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,261 Why, Helly-Belly, that's fantastic. 137 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,053 Does this mean that you've finally broken up 138 00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,929 with that kid from Pennsylvania? 139 00:06:29,929 --> 00:06:31,011 The-the one that was practically a mute? 140 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,929 Bruce, t-this is Whitney. 141 00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:36,220 Helen is your daughter. This is your granddaughter. 142 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:38,136 G-Granddaughter? 143 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,929 I can't do this anymore. 144 00:06:39,929 --> 00:06:41,387 It's okay. Margaret, it's okay. 145 00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:42,512 Let's-let's focus on the wedding. Uh... 146 00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:44,387 Whitney has this huge agenda for us, 147 00:06:44,387 --> 00:06:46,345 and, uh, she needs your help. 148 00:06:46,345 --> 00:06:47,887 Uh, that's right, Grandma. 149 00:06:47,887 --> 00:06:50,512 Um, I need to decide on a florist. 150 00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:51,970 I've narrowed it down to three, 151 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,470 but I'm sure you'll have an opinion. 152 00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:56,095 Um, I need to figure out a caterer. 153 00:06:56,095 --> 00:06:58,011 I wanted to find somebody who could do vegan options. 154 00:06:58,011 --> 00:06:59,553 I don't know if you know anybody. 155 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,220 And, um... Oh, well, we already got a tent. 156 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:03,220 [Margaret] Oh, that reminds me. 157 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:05,428 The bill for the tent came. 158 00:07:06,845 --> 00:07:08,762 Margaret, I'm... 159 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,470 I thought I was doing the catering, 160 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:12,387 and you and Bruce were gonna pay for the tent. 161 00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:15,637 Noah, we can't pay for this. It's $20,000. 162 00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:18,637 [Bruce] We don't have any money. 163 00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:20,804 [Margaret] And whose fault is that, Marie Antoinette? 164 00:07:22,887 --> 00:07:26,595 [Margaret] [gasps] Whitney, I just had a splendid idea. 165 00:07:26,595 --> 00:07:29,428 Why don't I call Dean at our tennis club? 166 00:07:29,428 --> 00:07:31,220 They do a marvelous brunch. 167 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,053 And if we do the wedding reception 168 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,720 outside of peak hours, 169 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,303 I'm sure we can get a discount 170 00:07:36,303 --> 00:07:37,762 on the cabana. 171 00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,011 They have a waffle station 172 00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:42,136 and a make-your-own-omelette bar. 173 00:07:42,136 --> 00:07:43,970 Excuse me, please. 174 00:07:47,553 --> 00:07:51,220 Okay, M-Margaret, the-the wedding is happening here. 175 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,345 Okay? So, if you want to help, 176 00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:56,804 help us figure out a way to make that happen. 177 00:07:59,804 --> 00:08:01,637 Hey. 178 00:08:04,095 --> 00:08:05,470 [sighs] 179 00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:07,512 We can't afford a wedding, can we? 180 00:08:07,512 --> 00:08:10,053 No one can afford a wedding. Not really. 181 00:08:10,053 --> 00:08:11,553 We can figure it out. 182 00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:13,637 No, I-I need to get back to reality. 183 00:08:13,637 --> 00:08:15,095 I... Work has been crazy. 184 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,553 I had to miss three days to be here. 185 00:08:16,553 --> 00:08:19,387 Andrea already wants to fucking kill me. 186 00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:23,136 It's fine. We'll just... we'll get married at city hall. 187 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,178 Come on, Whitney. You've been talking about having a wedding 188 00:08:25,178 --> 00:08:26,679 in this house since before you were in braces. 189 00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:29,095 I already found a red-eye that we can get on tonight. 190 00:08:29,095 --> 00:08:31,136 It has seats available. 191 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,095 Give me six hours. 192 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,553 Okay? Let's at least try. 193 00:08:34,553 --> 00:08:36,220 Then if you still want to go to city hall, 194 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,845 then we'll go to city hall. 195 00:08:37,845 --> 00:08:40,387 Come on. Have you got a pen? 196 00:08:45,261 --> 00:08:47,679 Right. What's the first thing? 197 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,428 -Um... -Tent. 198 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,762 Okay, I just received the last part of my advance, 199 00:08:51,762 --> 00:08:54,136 and I can't think of a better thing to spend it on. 200 00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:55,387 -Dad, no. -So that's that done. 201 00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:57,679 -Next? -Dad, you don't get it. 202 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,553 A-A tent is no good if you don't have things to put in it. 203 00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:02,887 Backyard weddings are so expensive because you have 204 00:09:02,887 --> 00:09:06,470 to pay for every single little thing. See? 205 00:09:07,970 --> 00:09:10,303 -[sighs] -Okay. 206 00:09:10,303 --> 00:09:12,220 Let's start with plates. 207 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,387 Well, this house has got to have plenty of those. 208 00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:18,679 [Margaret] I always hoped 209 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,261 your mother would inherit this, 210 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,220 but she insists on feeding you all 211 00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:25,720 from earthenware as if she grew up on a riverbank. 212 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,470 But no matter, 213 00:09:27,470 --> 00:09:29,261 because now it'll go to someone who appreciates it. 214 00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:32,136 -Thank you, Grandma. -This is helpful. 215 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,929 Thanks. What's next? 216 00:09:33,929 --> 00:09:36,637 Oh, I have an appointment at an East Hampton bridal boutique 217 00:09:36,637 --> 00:09:38,637 at two, but it's crazy expensive. 218 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:41,553 -I think we should cancel it. -You don't have a dress yet? 219 00:09:41,553 --> 00:09:43,345 Perfect. Come on, let's go. 220 00:09:43,345 --> 00:09:45,178 Oh, Margaret, can we borrow your car? 221 00:09:45,178 --> 00:09:47,095 Only if Whitney drives. 222 00:09:47,095 --> 00:09:49,261 -Why? -Because the last time you drove 223 00:09:49,261 --> 00:09:51,720 a car in Montauk, you killed Scott Lockhart. 224 00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:55,095 ♪ quiet, ambient music ♪ 225 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,261 ♪♪♪ 226 00:10:01,011 --> 00:10:03,345 [Noah] So, what do you want to do about music? 227 00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:05,512 You want dancing, right? 228 00:10:05,512 --> 00:10:07,720 Honestly, I kind of wanted a flash mob. 229 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,220 -What? -You know, a flash mob? 230 00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:12,804 It's, like, a surprise dance, but everyone knows the steps. 231 00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:16,136 How could everybody know the steps to a surprise dance? 232 00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,595 Because somebody teaches them ahead of time, 233 00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:20,387 and it's like a... Never mind. 234 00:10:21,595 --> 00:10:22,970 [Whitney gasps] 235 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,762 Oh, look. 236 00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:27,970 We have to stop 237 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,970 and see what they've done to the Lobster Roll. 238 00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:31,553 No, Whit-Whitney, we don't have time. 239 00:10:31,553 --> 00:10:33,804 Yes, we do. Come on. It'll be hilarious. 240 00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:35,428 [turn signal clicking] 241 00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:37,595 [pop music playing on radio] 242 00:10:57,387 --> 00:10:59,845 Hi, we okay here? 243 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,470 Not as friendly as they used to be. 244 00:11:04,470 --> 00:11:06,178 Yeah. 245 00:11:06,178 --> 00:11:08,303 [chuckles] 246 00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:14,428 Hey, remember when Stacey almost choked and Mom saved her? 247 00:11:14,428 --> 00:11:16,720 What? 248 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,345 Yeah, you remember. We were sitting right there, 249 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,387 and Trevor and Stacey were playing that game, and then 250 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,845 Stacey put a marble in her mouth. 251 00:11:22,845 --> 00:11:25,220 No, it wasn't, uh, it wasn't your mom who saved her. 252 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,512 It was, it was Alison. 253 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,387 What? 254 00:11:29,387 --> 00:11:31,387 No, that's-that's not how I remember it at all. 255 00:11:31,387 --> 00:11:32,720 No, I'm pretty sure it was her. 256 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,804 Stacey was choking and Alison was right there. 257 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,387 So, was that the day you met Alison? 258 00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:46,637 Yeah, I think it was. 259 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,720 So you bonded over the fact that Stacey almost choked to death? 260 00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:54,637 Whitney, if you ever want to talk about what happened 261 00:11:54,637 --> 00:11:55,720 -between Alison and me... -Yeah. 262 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,845 Sure. I do, actually. Go ahead. 263 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,595 Well, there's not... I didn't exactly have a prepared speech. 264 00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:03,845 -But if you-- -Yeah. That's what I thought. 265 00:12:03,845 --> 00:12:05,512 No, I mean, if you want to ask questions or-- 266 00:12:05,512 --> 00:12:07,512 -Stop. -[Luisa] Noah? 267 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,095 Luisa, hi. 268 00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:11,679 -Hey. -Hey, you remember Whitney, 269 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,303 -my daughter? -Yeah, of course. Uh... 270 00:12:14,303 --> 00:12:15,595 I babysat you one summer at the Butlers'. 271 00:12:15,595 --> 00:12:17,261 I remember. Nice to see you. 272 00:12:17,261 --> 00:12:18,845 Yeah, we're in town planning Whitney's wedding, 273 00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:20,428 if you can believe it. 274 00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:23,428 Cool. Congratulations. 275 00:12:23,428 --> 00:12:25,178 Thank you. 276 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,387 So this is different. 277 00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:31,845 Yeah. It's officially in the hands of the new owners now. 278 00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:34,345 I just came by to empty a few things out of the office. 279 00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:37,178 Ah. End of an era. 280 00:12:37,178 --> 00:12:39,845 Yep. 281 00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:42,428 I have to get going. 282 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,804 What's, uh, what's next for you? 283 00:12:44,804 --> 00:12:47,303 I'm going back to New York. 284 00:12:47,303 --> 00:12:48,345 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 285 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:49,929 Wow. 286 00:12:49,929 --> 00:12:52,470 I can't believe you got Cole to go to the city. 287 00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,136 [chuckles] 288 00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:55,970 We're separated, Noah. 289 00:12:55,970 --> 00:12:58,178 He and Joanie are moving to Vermont. 290 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,804 This afternoon, actually, so I have to get going. 291 00:13:01,804 --> 00:13:03,929 Congratulations on your wedding. Good luck. 292 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,970 I'll be right back. 293 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:10,970 No, Dad, she doesn't want to talk to us. 294 00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:15,679 Hey, Luisa. 295 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:17,136 I'm sorry if I offended you there. 296 00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:20,136 -I had no idea. -It's fine. 297 00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:22,845 That's terrible about you and Cole. 298 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:26,136 Well, the writing was on the wall, wasn't it? 299 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:28,887 Look, I was wondering, have you any idea when they're leaving? 300 00:13:28,887 --> 00:13:31,762 -Why? -'Cause I want to see Joanie. 301 00:13:31,762 --> 00:13:35,011 You can't just waltz in and out of her life 302 00:13:35,011 --> 00:13:37,011 -when it's convenient. -I know that. I know that. 303 00:13:37,011 --> 00:13:39,345 I raised her as my own for two years. I care about her. 304 00:13:39,345 --> 00:13:40,804 Noah, I don't feel like getting 305 00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:42,345 -in the middle of this. -No, I understand. 306 00:13:42,345 --> 00:13:44,011 If you could just tell me when they're leaving, 307 00:13:44,011 --> 00:13:46,095 then I can swing by, and if Cole doesn't want me to see her, 308 00:13:46,095 --> 00:13:47,679 that's fine, I just, I don't want her to think 309 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,095 I just disappeared. 310 00:13:50,929 --> 00:13:52,261 They're leaving at five. 311 00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:53,887 Thanks. 312 00:13:53,887 --> 00:13:55,512 [engine starts] 313 00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:57,929 I'm sorry about how it turned out here, and... 314 00:13:57,929 --> 00:13:59,929 I hope there are good things ahead. 315 00:14:00,804 --> 00:14:03,845 Noah, I babysat your kids. 316 00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:06,178 My mother worked at your house. 317 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,887 Don't pretend we're friends. 318 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,470 [pop music playing on radio] 319 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:18,553 [phone chimes] 320 00:14:23,178 --> 00:14:25,637 ♪ "Walking with a Stranger" by Chris Staples ♪ 321 00:14:25,637 --> 00:14:27,970 ♪♪♪ 322 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:30,804 -Hey, can I get a menu, please? -You order on that. 323 00:14:33,512 --> 00:14:35,804 ♪ And death grabbed him so quiet ♪ 324 00:14:35,804 --> 00:14:39,011 ♪ It didn't even make a sound ♪ 325 00:14:42,804 --> 00:14:45,929 ♪ As far as I could see were dead leaves... ♪ 326 00:14:45,929 --> 00:14:48,595 Hey, just-just pull over right here, will you? 327 00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:51,804 -[driver] What, here? -Yeah. Just for a second. 328 00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:54,887 ♪ Pretty soon I grow a cold ♪ 329 00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:58,470 ♪ And hollow feeling in my heart ♪ 330 00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:01,595 [birds chirping] 331 00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:05,887 ♪ Pretty soon me and my sunny day ♪ 332 00:15:05,887 --> 00:15:07,679 ♪ Will have to part ♪ 333 00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:11,011 ♪ If you just... ♪ 334 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,637 Hey... you think these would look good in a bouquet? 335 00:15:14,637 --> 00:15:16,929 Uh, you know th... that's poison ivy, right? 336 00:15:16,929 --> 00:15:19,178 -This is not poison ivy. -Not the stuff you got in your hand, man. 337 00:15:19,178 --> 00:15:22,428 The three-leafed plants that are all around where you were 338 00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:23,804 -secret gardening. -W... N... 339 00:15:23,804 --> 00:15:25,804 Poison ivy doesn't grow in the winter. 340 00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:28,345 Oh, yeah. It definitely does. 341 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,470 Oh, fuck. 342 00:15:33,762 --> 00:15:36,303 [classical music playing] 343 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,387 ♪♪♪ 344 00:15:38,387 --> 00:15:39,679 [Hannah] Yay. 345 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:42,387 -Are you Mr. Solloway? -Yeah. Hi. 346 00:15:42,387 --> 00:15:44,720 Yeah, they told me at the front that Whitney might be back here. 347 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,970 -She sure is. Welcome. -Thank you. 348 00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:53,053 -[Whitney] Hi, Dad. -Hey, Whit. How's it going? 349 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,095 Good. 350 00:15:54,095 --> 00:15:55,804 [chuckles] Oh, thanks. 351 00:15:55,804 --> 00:15:57,553 It is so cute that you're here. 352 00:15:57,553 --> 00:16:00,970 We almost never see dads in the shop. 353 00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:02,970 -What do you do? -[Whitney] He's a writer. 354 00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:05,845 Ooh. Anything I'd know? 355 00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:07,929 -I doubt it. -[Whitney] He's being very 356 00:16:07,929 --> 00:16:09,303 modest. He has a movie coming out 357 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:12,053 -starring Sasha Mann. -Sasha Mann? 358 00:16:12,053 --> 00:16:14,553 [chuckling] I fucking love Sasha Mann, wow. 359 00:16:14,553 --> 00:16:15,845 [Whitney] Hey, Hannah, could you come back here 360 00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:17,470 and give me a hand with these clamps? 361 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:18,303 Coming. 362 00:16:32,011 --> 00:16:33,929 [quietly] Okay... 363 00:16:47,011 --> 00:16:49,053 ♪ ominous music ♪ 364 00:16:49,053 --> 00:16:51,178 ♪♪♪ 365 00:16:55,095 --> 00:16:57,720 [Whitney exhales] 366 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,553 [Whitney] Well? 367 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,178 What do you think? 368 00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:06,804 Oh, Whit. 369 00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:08,637 You're beautiful. 370 00:17:08,637 --> 00:17:10,553 Thanks, Dad. 371 00:17:10,553 --> 00:17:14,261 You guys are gonna make the cutest father-daughter ever. 372 00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,804 Wow. Whitney, it's 19, 373 00:17:16,804 --> 00:17:19,428 but I'll knock it down to 17 because it's... 374 00:17:19,428 --> 00:17:21,470 it's just so... it's perfect. 375 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:24,053 Uh, wh... That's, uh... 376 00:17:24,053 --> 00:17:26,095 17, as in thousand? 377 00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:29,303 Mm, sometimes dads just need a little convincing. 378 00:17:29,303 --> 00:17:31,428 Do you mind pulling a few less expensive 379 00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:33,261 options? 380 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:36,762 Uh, Lizzie! Can you come here a second? 381 00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:39,637 Oh... sweetheart. [chuckles] 382 00:17:39,637 --> 00:17:44,679 You are front-cover Martha-Stewart gorgeous. 383 00:17:44,679 --> 00:17:46,220 -Isn't it perfect? -[sighs] Mm-hm. 384 00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,136 Whitney thinks so, too. 385 00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:50,637 Actually, I was wondering if you could pull some cheaper options? 386 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,011 Ah, she is such a doll. 387 00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:53,637 [chuckles] Is she your first to get married? 388 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,762 Yeah. Yeah. 389 00:17:55,762 --> 00:17:59,053 Okay. So, like, what price range were you thinking? 390 00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:01,929 Uh... Wh... I-I don't know, I-I-- 391 00:18:01,929 --> 00:18:03,887 [Hannah] He's a big screenwriter. 392 00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:06,345 He works with Sasha Mann. 393 00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:07,929 [Lizzie] Really? 394 00:18:07,929 --> 00:18:09,470 Let me ask you something, Mr. Hollywood. 395 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,887 When will there ever be a more important time 396 00:18:11,887 --> 00:18:13,762 to splurge than for your eldest daughter's wedding? 397 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,011 [whispering] She loves this dress. 398 00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:21,637 Uh... Look, maybe... maybe I can, um... 399 00:18:21,637 --> 00:18:22,679 -Maybe-- -Don't, Dad. 400 00:18:22,679 --> 00:18:24,178 It's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna change. 401 00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:27,053 I'm sorry, what, what's happening here? 402 00:18:27,053 --> 00:18:29,136 I didn't know the dresses were this expensive. I... 403 00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:30,804 I haven't earned that kind of money yet. 404 00:18:30,804 --> 00:18:32,929 Well, then why did you waste our time with this appointment? 405 00:18:32,929 --> 00:18:35,512 It was my idea, Hannah, and it was a big mistake. 406 00:18:35,512 --> 00:18:39,470 What kind of psycho spends $17,000 on a dress? 407 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,220 Do you know how many clean water wells 408 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,220 you could build in Africa with that money? 409 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:45,970 -No. Do you? -I bet it's a lot, you cunt. 410 00:18:47,303 --> 00:18:49,220 Nice work, Dad. 411 00:18:52,053 --> 00:18:54,637 ♪ quiet, atmospheric music ♪ 412 00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:56,970 [sighs] 413 00:19:02,970 --> 00:19:05,804 Dad... what's up with the itching? 414 00:19:05,804 --> 00:19:07,929 It's fucking... 415 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,845 -poison ivy. -What? 416 00:19:09,845 --> 00:19:12,303 Yeah, I tried to pick you some wildflowers. 417 00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:14,011 Thought you might like them. 418 00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,220 What? 419 00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:26,512 I know what you're trying to do. 420 00:19:26,512 --> 00:19:28,929 And I appreciate it. 421 00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:30,178 What am I trying to do? 422 00:19:32,303 --> 00:19:34,095 You're trying to make amends. 423 00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:43,929 Oh, look, a daytime moon. 424 00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:47,220 Your mom always used to say they were good luck. 425 00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:54,303 [Whitney] ♪ I wandered out in the woods for years ♪ 426 00:19:54,303 --> 00:19:58,845 ♪ While you just stayed in your room ♪ 427 00:19:58,845 --> 00:20:00,929 ♪ I saw the crescent ♪ 428 00:20:00,929 --> 00:20:04,929 ♪ You saw the whole of the moon ♪ 429 00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:06,053 -♪ Doo-doo-nee-nee ♪ -[chuckles] 430 00:20:06,053 --> 00:20:08,345 ♪ The whole of... ♪ Who's that? 431 00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:10,220 -Who sings that? -I don't know. 432 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,720 Colin's always playing it, it stuck in my head. 433 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,595 It was the Waterboys. That's my generation. 434 00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:18,845 Yeah, I think they're Irish. I don't know, Colin's obsessed. 435 00:20:18,845 --> 00:20:21,053 -Mmm, boy's got good taste. -[chuckles] 436 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,804 [both chuckle] 437 00:20:24,804 --> 00:20:29,011 Hey, I got an idea, but, uh, you may hate it. 438 00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:32,387 Your mom had a really beautiful wedding dress. 439 00:20:33,929 --> 00:20:36,762 And I don't know where it is now, but your grandmother, 440 00:20:36,762 --> 00:20:37,845 she'd probably have it. 441 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,345 We know she's a hoarder. 442 00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:43,303 Okay. It was a terrible idea. 443 00:20:43,303 --> 00:20:45,970 No. 444 00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:48,428 I love it. 445 00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:54,220 -How'd it go? -Hey, Margaret, do you know 446 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,845 where Helen's wedding dress is? 447 00:20:55,845 --> 00:20:59,220 She looked like a vagabond whore in that dress. Why? 448 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:00,929 [Whitney] Okay, let's just check the attic. 449 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:04,345 ♪ contemplative guitar music ♪ 450 00:21:04,345 --> 00:21:06,345 ♪♪♪ 451 00:21:06,345 --> 00:21:08,595 [line ringing] 452 00:21:29,553 --> 00:21:30,804 [sighs] 453 00:21:30,804 --> 00:21:33,303 Sorry, I need a minute. 454 00:21:38,845 --> 00:21:40,595 What's wrong? 455 00:21:40,595 --> 00:21:42,887 ♪ slow, somber music ♪ 456 00:21:42,887 --> 00:21:44,887 ♪♪♪ 457 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,679 You hate it? 458 00:21:46,679 --> 00:21:49,095 -You hate it, right? -[quietly] No. 459 00:21:49,095 --> 00:21:50,845 Don't worry, don't worry. We'll get another one. 460 00:21:50,845 --> 00:21:51,887 It's not the dress. I love the dress. 461 00:21:51,887 --> 00:21:53,762 What is it? 462 00:21:53,762 --> 00:21:55,011 This wedding is gonna be 463 00:21:55,011 --> 00:21:56,387 -a fucking disaster. -What? 464 00:21:56,387 --> 00:21:58,428 No, it's not. Come on, we're pulling it together. 465 00:21:58,428 --> 00:21:59,970 We got a tent, we got the plates, 466 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:00,929 now we got a dress. 467 00:22:00,929 --> 00:22:01,970 That's not what I mean. 468 00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:03,345 Then what is it? 469 00:22:05,679 --> 00:22:07,804 [sniffles] 470 00:22:11,136 --> 00:22:13,470 I cheated on Colin. 471 00:22:17,595 --> 00:22:19,178 [sighs] Okay. 472 00:22:19,178 --> 00:22:21,053 Okay? That's what you have to say to me? 473 00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:24,220 -No, no. -God, why am I not surprised? 474 00:22:24,220 --> 00:22:26,053 When did this happen? Recently? 475 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,303 Yeah. [sniffles] 476 00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:29,845 After you got engaged? 477 00:22:30,804 --> 00:22:32,053 Yeah. 478 00:22:33,345 --> 00:22:36,512 And I have to tell him, right? 479 00:22:39,512 --> 00:22:43,720 Uh... uh, not necessarily. 480 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,011 I mean... did you want to be with this other guy? 481 00:22:48,011 --> 00:22:50,720 No. God, no. 482 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,470 Well, is there any other way that Colin might find out? 483 00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:56,053 I mean, is it someone who's around a lot, do you have 484 00:22:56,053 --> 00:22:59,303 -friends in common? -No. Why? 485 00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:03,387 Because, in that case, telling Colin might just 486 00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:05,053 hurt him unnecessarily. 487 00:23:05,053 --> 00:23:08,011 And end your relationship. 488 00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,387 I mean, unless... 489 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:11,136 -What? -Well, unless 490 00:23:11,136 --> 00:23:13,261 that's what you were trying to do. 491 00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:15,428 -[scoffs] -I... 492 00:23:17,387 --> 00:23:22,512 I don't know. Uh... maybe. 493 00:23:23,679 --> 00:23:26,970 -[sighs] -Whitney? 494 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:29,512 Do you want to marry Colin? 495 00:23:29,512 --> 00:23:32,095 If you're asking if he's the only person I'll ever love, 496 00:23:32,095 --> 00:23:33,512 I... I have no fucking idea. 497 00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,053 How am I supposed to know that? 498 00:23:35,053 --> 00:23:37,136 Look, I don't think anybody knows that. 499 00:23:37,136 --> 00:23:38,762 Yes, they do. Some people do. 500 00:23:38,762 --> 00:23:39,929 -Colin does. -Now, you don't know that. 501 00:23:39,929 --> 00:23:41,720 You're not in his head. 502 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,345 For all you know, he's... he's having major doubts, too. 503 00:23:44,345 --> 00:23:46,011 -Wow. -No... not about you, 504 00:23:46,011 --> 00:23:48,095 about marriage. 505 00:23:48,095 --> 00:23:50,720 When I got married, I thought that if you, 506 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,720 if you, if you chose the right person, 507 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,303 then you'd be happy forever, and if you were unhappy, 508 00:23:54,303 --> 00:23:55,637 then they were the wrong person. 509 00:23:55,637 --> 00:23:57,637 But that's just not how it works. 510 00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,178 -It's not? -No. No. 511 00:23:59,178 --> 00:24:01,512 Marriage is... it's not magic, it's, 512 00:24:01,512 --> 00:24:02,970 it's just a decision that you have to make. 513 00:24:02,970 --> 00:24:06,387 And keep on making, over and over, to stay. 514 00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:08,428 Whitney, 515 00:24:08,428 --> 00:24:09,720 deciding you're not ready 516 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,136 doesn't mean you're a bad person. 517 00:24:11,136 --> 00:24:12,470 It means you know yourself 518 00:24:12,470 --> 00:24:14,595 much better than I knew when I was your age. 519 00:24:16,387 --> 00:24:18,679 No, I'm not hurting Colin. I'm not doing it. 520 00:24:18,679 --> 00:24:20,553 -He's my best friend. -He'll be okay. 521 00:24:20,553 --> 00:24:23,178 He, he... he'll survive. 522 00:24:23,178 --> 00:24:25,095 You hurt Mom so badly. 523 00:24:25,095 --> 00:24:27,553 [exhales] 524 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:30,470 Yeah, but that was... 525 00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,720 that was different. We had four kids. 526 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,970 I don't want to ever hurt anyone the way you hurt her. 527 00:24:35,970 --> 00:24:37,512 Right. 528 00:24:37,512 --> 00:24:39,178 Why did you do it? 529 00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:41,637 If marriage is a choice, if you can decide to stay, 530 00:24:41,637 --> 00:24:43,136 why did you go? 531 00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:49,428 I don't know how to answer that. 532 00:24:50,345 --> 00:24:52,178 Was it Alison? 533 00:24:52,178 --> 00:24:54,387 Did you just love her more than you loved us? 534 00:24:54,387 --> 00:24:55,512 No. 535 00:24:55,512 --> 00:24:57,011 What was it, then? 536 00:25:01,261 --> 00:25:02,679 I don't know. 537 00:25:02,679 --> 00:25:04,053 See, the thing that I don't get is, 538 00:25:04,053 --> 00:25:05,929 you were a good dad. 539 00:25:05,929 --> 00:25:09,261 And Mom was a great mom, and-and we were happy. 540 00:25:09,261 --> 00:25:11,011 Or at least I thought we were. 541 00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:12,595 And then... 542 00:25:15,512 --> 00:25:17,720 I guess I just worry that, 543 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,428 if that wasn't real 544 00:25:19,428 --> 00:25:20,887 and if that wasn't good, 545 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:25,303 then... then maybe nothing is. 546 00:25:25,303 --> 00:25:28,011 Whitney, look, I fucked up. 547 00:25:28,011 --> 00:25:29,679 I... 548 00:25:33,011 --> 00:25:35,387 I was thinking about myself, and I fucked up. 549 00:25:39,679 --> 00:25:43,053 Which is why I want you to give yourself the time 550 00:25:43,053 --> 00:25:44,512 to make the right decision. 551 00:25:47,261 --> 00:25:50,553 I love you, Whit. I just want you to be happy. 552 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,720 I love you, too. 553 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,679 Come on. [sniffles] 554 00:26:03,679 --> 00:26:06,595 I got to change out of this dress. 555 00:26:08,428 --> 00:26:10,095 [sniffles] 556 00:26:14,762 --> 00:26:17,428 [door opens] 557 00:26:17,428 --> 00:26:19,345 -[door closes] -Oh, fuck. 558 00:26:27,637 --> 00:26:29,762 [phone ringing] 559 00:26:32,929 --> 00:26:36,011 Hello? 560 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:39,637 [Petra] Noah, hi. This is Petra Ranes from Vanity Fair. 561 00:26:39,637 --> 00:26:42,178 Oh, hi, Petra. It's been a while. 562 00:26:42,178 --> 00:26:43,720 -How are you? -I'm good. 563 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,095 And the piece is really coming together. 564 00:26:46,095 --> 00:26:47,970 -Great. -I'm just doing a last 565 00:26:47,970 --> 00:26:50,178 little bit of fact-checking, if you have a second. 566 00:26:50,178 --> 00:26:52,178 -Sure. -Great. 567 00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:55,095 So, do you happen to know a woman named Eden Bishop? 568 00:26:56,387 --> 00:26:59,261 Uh... no, I don't think so. 569 00:26:59,261 --> 00:27:00,637 That's her married name. 570 00:27:00,637 --> 00:27:03,470 Maybe you know her as Ellery? Eden Ellery? 571 00:27:03,470 --> 00:27:05,345 Oh, yeah, yeah, she was, uh, she was my publicist 572 00:27:05,345 --> 00:27:07,762 on the book tour for Descent. 573 00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:09,387 That's what she said, too. 574 00:27:10,387 --> 00:27:12,303 Okay? 575 00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:13,845 Did you two have a relationship? 576 00:27:13,845 --> 00:27:17,053 Beyond the professional? 577 00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:18,887 Me and Eden? 578 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,679 She claims you pressured her into sleeping with you 579 00:27:20,679 --> 00:27:22,178 on the book tour. 580 00:27:22,178 --> 00:27:23,970 Does that match your recollection? 581 00:27:29,303 --> 00:27:30,595 Sorry, wh-what did you say? 582 00:27:30,595 --> 00:27:32,679 The reception here is terrible. 583 00:27:32,679 --> 00:27:34,512 Eden claims you coerced her into having sex 584 00:27:34,512 --> 00:27:36,428 while on the book tour together. 585 00:27:36,428 --> 00:27:38,970 I'm asking if you remember something like that happening 586 00:27:38,970 --> 00:27:40,845 between you and her during that time. 587 00:27:42,387 --> 00:27:44,845 No. Absolutely not. 588 00:27:44,845 --> 00:27:46,053 Are you sure? 589 00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:49,011 This is fucking shit! What? No! 590 00:27:49,011 --> 00:27:50,220 So that's not your memory? 591 00:27:50,220 --> 00:27:53,053 -No! -Okay. That's it, then. 592 00:27:53,053 --> 00:27:55,804 I just needed a comment. Thanks for your time. 593 00:27:55,804 --> 00:27:58,345 [line beeps off] 594 00:27:58,345 --> 00:28:00,053 [sighs] 595 00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:02,220 What...? 596 00:28:04,303 --> 00:28:06,387 Oh, fuck. 597 00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:14,637 ♪ intense, suspenseful music ♪ 598 00:28:14,637 --> 00:28:16,720 ♪♪♪ 599 00:28:38,553 --> 00:28:41,011 [knocking] 600 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,095 [doorbell ringing] 601 00:28:57,929 --> 00:28:59,679 [engine stops] 602 00:28:59,679 --> 00:29:01,762 ♪ pulsing, suspenseful music ♪ 603 00:29:01,762 --> 00:29:03,887 ♪♪♪ 604 00:29:11,762 --> 00:29:13,929 [indistinct chatter] 605 00:29:36,595 --> 00:29:38,470 Yes? 606 00:29:38,470 --> 00:29:42,720 Hi, I'm looking for Benjamin Cruz. 607 00:29:48,178 --> 00:29:50,428 I'm Ben Cruz. 608 00:29:50,428 --> 00:29:51,804 Can I help you? 609 00:29:53,845 --> 00:29:57,220 I just wanted to ask about your clinic. 610 00:29:57,220 --> 00:30:02,136 I... I need help. 611 00:30:02,136 --> 00:30:04,220 I think I have PTSD. 612 00:30:05,178 --> 00:30:08,011 Ah. 613 00:30:08,011 --> 00:30:09,804 What's your name? 614 00:30:09,804 --> 00:30:12,095 Gabrielle. 615 00:30:15,345 --> 00:30:17,512 Very nice to meet you. 616 00:30:17,512 --> 00:30:19,470 Come on inside. 617 00:30:26,345 --> 00:30:28,929 [Ben] Danny, Isla, meet Gabrielle. 618 00:30:28,929 --> 00:30:31,011 She's here to learn about our community. 619 00:30:31,011 --> 00:30:32,845 -Hey there. -Hey. 620 00:30:34,261 --> 00:30:35,428 Hi. 621 00:30:35,428 --> 00:30:38,011 I thought I was the only one 622 00:30:38,011 --> 00:30:40,762 who read real books anymore. 623 00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:46,970 [Ben] How about I give you a tour? 624 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,679 I believe in the healing power 625 00:30:54,679 --> 00:30:57,887 of fresh air and tilling the land. 626 00:30:57,887 --> 00:31:01,220 Everything here has been designed to be self-sustaining. 627 00:31:01,220 --> 00:31:04,553 My patients get free lodging 628 00:31:04,553 --> 00:31:08,387 in return for their time in the garden. 629 00:31:08,387 --> 00:31:11,136 So, a-are you a veteran, Gabrielle? 630 00:31:11,136 --> 00:31:14,261 Um, no, I'm not. 631 00:31:14,261 --> 00:31:16,679 How did you find us, then? 632 00:31:16,679 --> 00:31:18,887 Recommendation. 633 00:31:21,595 --> 00:31:25,387 I only ask because we mostly service ex-military. 634 00:31:25,387 --> 00:31:27,804 When I was a young vet, I started 635 00:31:27,804 --> 00:31:30,512 my post-service career at the VA, 636 00:31:30,512 --> 00:31:32,553 during what I thought was a really exciting time 637 00:31:32,553 --> 00:31:34,470 for PTSD therapy. 638 00:31:34,470 --> 00:31:37,595 Newer, integrative psychotherapeutic approaches 639 00:31:37,595 --> 00:31:40,679 like exposure therapy, EMDR. 640 00:31:40,679 --> 00:31:43,095 They all seemed to be taking root 641 00:31:43,095 --> 00:31:45,595 in the mainstream community, 642 00:31:45,595 --> 00:31:49,053 but then, of course, they were obliterated 643 00:31:49,053 --> 00:31:51,804 as soon as the government deregulated 644 00:31:51,804 --> 00:31:53,512 psychopharmaceutical drugs. 645 00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:55,470 If vets want alternative therapies, 646 00:31:55,470 --> 00:31:58,053 they have to seek them under the table, 647 00:31:58,053 --> 00:32:02,011 pay out of pocket, get treatments in secret. 648 00:32:02,011 --> 00:32:04,929 If the VA finds out, people lose their health care. 649 00:32:06,679 --> 00:32:08,428 Anyway, 650 00:32:08,428 --> 00:32:12,470 that's why I have to be extra careful 651 00:32:12,470 --> 00:32:14,303 when people knock on my door. 652 00:32:14,303 --> 00:32:17,970 Well, you weren't that careful. You kind of just let me in. 653 00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,053 True. 654 00:32:23,136 --> 00:32:26,053 But you have an honest face. 655 00:32:26,053 --> 00:32:27,595 [chuckles] 656 00:32:27,595 --> 00:32:29,804 We grow all our own food. 657 00:32:29,804 --> 00:32:32,095 There's something so 658 00:32:32,095 --> 00:32:33,887 satisfying about putting your hands in the dirt, 659 00:32:33,887 --> 00:32:37,929 turning the soil, caring for the space, 660 00:32:37,929 --> 00:32:42,053 and then watch it as it bears fruit. 661 00:32:42,053 --> 00:32:44,428 Here, 662 00:32:44,428 --> 00:32:47,553 the land that we've taken care of 663 00:32:47,553 --> 00:32:49,970 then turns around and cares for us. 664 00:32:49,970 --> 00:32:53,095 I firmly believe, 665 00:32:53,095 --> 00:32:56,512 if we can remember how to care for a garden, 666 00:32:56,512 --> 00:33:00,345 we can remember how to care for each other. 667 00:33:03,303 --> 00:33:05,345 [grunts] 668 00:33:07,428 --> 00:33:08,762 [groans] 669 00:33:09,804 --> 00:33:11,845 Thank you. 670 00:33:13,887 --> 00:33:16,887 Let's head back inside. 671 00:33:16,887 --> 00:33:19,261 Get to know each other a bit better. 672 00:33:24,178 --> 00:33:25,845 So... 673 00:33:25,845 --> 00:33:28,053 Gabrielle. 674 00:33:28,053 --> 00:33:30,178 That's a beautiful name, by the way. 675 00:33:30,178 --> 00:33:31,553 Thank you. 676 00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:34,679 Is it a family name? 677 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,553 Yes. 678 00:33:36,553 --> 00:33:38,762 [chuckles] 679 00:33:38,762 --> 00:33:40,553 So tell me, 680 00:33:40,553 --> 00:33:42,720 how can I help you? 681 00:33:46,970 --> 00:33:49,762 I think I suffer from PTSD. 682 00:33:49,762 --> 00:33:53,804 Okay. How does that manifest? 683 00:33:53,804 --> 00:33:55,553 [inhales] 684 00:33:55,553 --> 00:33:59,053 I can't connect with people. I think I'm incapable of love. 685 00:33:59,053 --> 00:34:02,720 Well, sometimes such feelings are connected 686 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:07,053 to a significant loss or trauma 687 00:34:07,053 --> 00:34:09,178 at an early age. 688 00:34:10,387 --> 00:34:13,095 Does that resonate with you? 689 00:34:13,095 --> 00:34:15,470 No. 690 00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:18,053 Hmm. 691 00:34:18,053 --> 00:34:20,929 Are you familiar with EMDR? 692 00:34:20,929 --> 00:34:23,011 No. 693 00:34:23,011 --> 00:34:25,095 It's an old form of therapy. 694 00:34:25,095 --> 00:34:28,929 Nobody really understands why it works or how, 695 00:34:28,929 --> 00:34:31,303 but it does. 696 00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,512 There's something almost magical about it. 697 00:34:33,512 --> 00:34:34,637 [scoffs] 698 00:34:34,637 --> 00:34:37,261 Mm. You don't believe in magic? 699 00:34:37,261 --> 00:34:38,804 No. 700 00:34:38,804 --> 00:34:43,220 Maybe that's why you have such... 701 00:34:43,220 --> 00:34:45,095 trouble with love. 702 00:34:47,595 --> 00:34:51,095 Would you like to try EMDR? 703 00:34:51,095 --> 00:34:53,970 J-Just to see if we can get a little closer 704 00:34:53,970 --> 00:34:58,261 to understanding why you came. 705 00:35:01,679 --> 00:35:04,595 Sure. Why not? 706 00:35:04,595 --> 00:35:06,720 Excellent. 707 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:10,553 I record all my sessions. Do you mind? 708 00:35:10,553 --> 00:35:12,595 [device beeps] 709 00:35:12,595 --> 00:35:14,887 And this is just 710 00:35:14,887 --> 00:35:17,553 our standard release form. 711 00:35:20,387 --> 00:35:21,470 It's on paper. 712 00:35:21,470 --> 00:35:23,804 [chuckles] I know. What can I say? 713 00:35:23,804 --> 00:35:26,762 I am nostalgic for the analog world. 714 00:35:26,762 --> 00:35:29,136 I suspect you are, too. 715 00:35:30,970 --> 00:35:33,970 Well, take a moment, read it through. 716 00:35:33,970 --> 00:35:35,095 -[pen clicks] -What's the date? 717 00:35:35,095 --> 00:35:36,720 Oh, don't worry about that. 718 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,261 I just need your signature. 719 00:35:40,929 --> 00:35:44,720 Okay. Thank you. 720 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:46,178 So... 721 00:35:46,178 --> 00:35:49,178 the way EMDR works. 722 00:35:50,470 --> 00:35:54,679 We pick one specific traumatic event 723 00:35:54,679 --> 00:35:57,303 and then we basically rewrite the script 724 00:35:57,303 --> 00:36:00,679 so it doesn't trigger the same debilitating response. 725 00:36:00,679 --> 00:36:02,970 Does that make sense? Good. 726 00:36:02,970 --> 00:36:07,553 We can start on any memory, really. 727 00:36:07,553 --> 00:36:10,845 Is there a moment, a... 728 00:36:10,845 --> 00:36:14,011 a night where you remember this, 729 00:36:14,011 --> 00:36:16,970 as you say, "inability to love" 730 00:36:16,970 --> 00:36:20,011 really manifesting itself, 731 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:22,387 impeding your life in some way? 732 00:36:24,887 --> 00:36:26,679 I... 733 00:36:28,428 --> 00:36:32,261 I had a fight with my boyfriend recently. 734 00:36:32,261 --> 00:36:34,637 Excellent. 735 00:36:34,637 --> 00:36:38,720 That is the perfect thing to unpack with this therapy. 736 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:40,178 Let's start there. 737 00:36:40,178 --> 00:36:44,595 Can you please, um, move your chair 738 00:36:44,595 --> 00:36:46,887 to face me. 739 00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:49,595 ♪ tense music ♪ 740 00:36:49,595 --> 00:36:51,387 Good. 741 00:36:54,553 --> 00:36:58,887 No, see, you need to be a little closer. 742 00:36:58,887 --> 00:37:01,720 [grunts] There you go. 743 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,512 Okay, to begin, 744 00:37:03,512 --> 00:37:07,011 just follow my fingers with your eyes. 745 00:37:11,053 --> 00:37:13,595 -Th-That makes me dizzy. -Okay. 746 00:37:13,595 --> 00:37:18,345 Let's switch to something else. 747 00:37:19,261 --> 00:37:21,428 Your palms up. 748 00:37:21,428 --> 00:37:23,261 There you go. 749 00:37:26,387 --> 00:37:30,970 Close your eyes and take a deep breath. 750 00:37:30,970 --> 00:37:32,428 [inhales] 751 00:37:32,428 --> 00:37:35,220 [exhales] 752 00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:37,929 Now think back to the night of the fight. 753 00:37:37,929 --> 00:37:41,512 What do you notice? 754 00:37:41,512 --> 00:37:42,845 Where are you? 755 00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:45,095 [inhales, exhales] 756 00:37:45,095 --> 00:37:47,011 I'm in my apartment. 757 00:37:47,011 --> 00:37:50,387 -Where is that? -Montauk. 758 00:37:51,428 --> 00:37:53,553 How about your boyfriend, is he there? 759 00:37:53,553 --> 00:37:55,887 He's on his way. 760 00:37:55,887 --> 00:37:58,095 How do you feel? 761 00:37:58,095 --> 00:38:00,345 Scared. 762 00:38:00,345 --> 00:38:02,929 Good. Go with that. 763 00:38:02,929 --> 00:38:04,845 [inhales, exhales] 764 00:38:04,845 --> 00:38:07,929 Same as before. 765 00:38:07,929 --> 00:38:12,470 Tell me... what do you notice? 766 00:38:12,470 --> 00:38:16,804 My apartment is warm, cozy. 767 00:38:16,804 --> 00:38:19,303 There's a fire in the fireplace. 768 00:38:19,303 --> 00:38:22,220 My daughter's drawings 769 00:38:22,220 --> 00:38:25,220 are on the refrigerator. 770 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:28,470 It's raining outside. 771 00:38:28,470 --> 00:38:32,929 Pouring, actually. There's a storm, a... a bad one. 772 00:38:32,929 --> 00:38:34,887 The windows are rattling. 773 00:38:34,887 --> 00:38:37,011 Good. Go with that. 774 00:38:37,011 --> 00:38:40,220 Now what do you see happening? 775 00:38:40,220 --> 00:38:42,512 My boyfriend arrives. 776 00:38:42,512 --> 00:38:45,553 He's soaking wet. He dries himself by the fire. 777 00:38:45,553 --> 00:38:47,178 How's he dressed? 778 00:38:47,178 --> 00:38:50,136 Jeans and a military jacket. 779 00:38:50,136 --> 00:38:53,011 He's a veteran. 780 00:38:53,011 --> 00:38:54,762 Good. 781 00:38:54,762 --> 00:38:57,970 Close your eyes. 782 00:38:57,970 --> 00:39:00,929 Notice what he says 783 00:39:00,929 --> 00:39:02,387 and go with that. 784 00:39:02,387 --> 00:39:05,679 -He's angry. -Why is he angry? 785 00:39:05,679 --> 00:39:08,220 Because he's married, 786 00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:12,136 and I want him to leave his wife. 787 00:39:12,136 --> 00:39:13,970 We have a fight. 788 00:39:13,970 --> 00:39:16,804 I tell him that if he doesn't leave her, I will kill myself. 789 00:39:16,804 --> 00:39:18,428 Keep going. 790 00:39:18,428 --> 00:39:20,845 He tells me that I'm ugly and stupid 791 00:39:20,845 --> 00:39:22,720 and that nobody will ever love me, 792 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,553 and that the best I could hope for is to be someone's slut. 793 00:39:25,553 --> 00:39:27,679 Okay. That's enough. 794 00:39:29,553 --> 00:39:32,470 EMDR doesn't work if you're lying. 795 00:39:45,136 --> 00:39:48,220 I never said those things. 796 00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:50,553 I respected your mother greatly. 797 00:39:52,053 --> 00:39:55,053 I would never have spoken that way to her. 798 00:40:03,887 --> 00:40:06,261 [sighs] 799 00:40:08,428 --> 00:40:10,095 Hello, Joanie. 800 00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:12,553 Hello, Ben. 801 00:40:14,095 --> 00:40:17,512 I'm so glad you are finally here. 802 00:40:21,136 --> 00:40:25,095 Why don't we start again with the same question? 803 00:40:25,095 --> 00:40:26,679 How can I help you? 804 00:40:31,136 --> 00:40:33,720 Did you kill my mother? 805 00:40:38,762 --> 00:40:40,512 Yes. 806 00:40:40,512 --> 00:40:42,136 I did. 807 00:40:46,136 --> 00:40:48,220 [exhales] 808 00:40:48,220 --> 00:40:50,178 [sighs] 809 00:40:50,178 --> 00:40:54,178 I can only imagine what you think of me right now. 810 00:40:54,178 --> 00:40:56,887 It's all so new for you. 811 00:40:56,887 --> 00:40:58,553 [sighs] 812 00:40:58,553 --> 00:41:01,804 The truth is, I've been thinking about you for years. 813 00:41:01,804 --> 00:41:06,178 I've tried to imagine where you've been living your life 814 00:41:06,178 --> 00:41:07,804 and-and how. 815 00:41:07,804 --> 00:41:12,136 I've awaited our reunion with great anticipation. 816 00:41:16,261 --> 00:41:20,637 Is there anything else you want to ask me? 817 00:41:20,637 --> 00:41:23,345 Anything at all? 818 00:41:23,345 --> 00:41:27,845 Go back behind your desk. I need a barrier between us. 819 00:41:27,845 --> 00:41:29,679 Of course. 820 00:41:35,095 --> 00:41:37,261 [sighs] 821 00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:40,178 I-I want to be held accountable, Joanie. 822 00:41:40,178 --> 00:41:41,845 I've always known I would eventually 823 00:41:41,845 --> 00:41:44,720 have to answer for what I did. 824 00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:48,345 I welcome the opportunity. 825 00:41:52,595 --> 00:41:55,845 I know this might be hard for you to believe, 826 00:41:55,845 --> 00:42:00,887 but I think of your mother every day. 827 00:42:00,887 --> 00:42:04,387 Every minute, in fact. 828 00:42:04,387 --> 00:42:07,887 She is constantly with me, 829 00:42:07,887 --> 00:42:11,428 and... [sighs] 830 00:42:11,428 --> 00:42:13,679 I hate myself for what I did. 831 00:42:13,679 --> 00:42:15,845 Okay. So why did you do it? 832 00:42:17,970 --> 00:42:20,095 I had a psychotic break. 833 00:42:20,095 --> 00:42:21,261 What? 834 00:42:21,261 --> 00:42:24,220 When I met your mother... [sighs] 835 00:42:24,220 --> 00:42:26,720 the doctors at the VA had me on a lot of drugs. 836 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,929 Antidepressants, MDMA, 837 00:42:28,929 --> 00:42:31,261 antipsychotics. 838 00:42:31,261 --> 00:42:33,887 I was losing my mind. 839 00:42:33,887 --> 00:42:37,929 I couldn't sleep. Uh, I-I-I was paranoid. 840 00:42:37,929 --> 00:42:39,679 I started hearing voices. 841 00:42:39,679 --> 00:42:42,512 I didn't tell anyone, of course, because... 842 00:42:42,512 --> 00:42:46,553 I, I was afraid they'd lock me up for good. 843 00:42:46,553 --> 00:42:50,637 That night... I became a monster, 844 00:42:50,637 --> 00:42:53,095 uh, completely out of control. 845 00:42:55,220 --> 00:42:56,595 What did you do to her? 846 00:42:56,595 --> 00:42:58,970 Well, we had an argument 847 00:42:58,970 --> 00:43:02,011 in her apartment, as you guessed. 848 00:43:02,011 --> 00:43:03,387 About what? 849 00:43:03,387 --> 00:43:06,136 The fact that I was married. 850 00:43:06,136 --> 00:43:08,845 So I was right. 851 00:43:08,845 --> 00:43:10,345 Yes. 852 00:43:10,345 --> 00:43:14,345 But she told me to leave. 853 00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:20,845 It was me who was begging to stay. 854 00:43:20,845 --> 00:43:21,970 Why? 855 00:43:24,053 --> 00:43:26,387 Have you ever met someone 856 00:43:26,387 --> 00:43:29,637 who-who looked at you, 857 00:43:29,637 --> 00:43:30,804 all of you, 858 00:43:30,804 --> 00:43:33,178 even the savage parts, 859 00:43:33,178 --> 00:43:35,762 and they didn't flinch? 860 00:43:37,011 --> 00:43:38,804 No. 861 00:43:38,804 --> 00:43:40,845 I thought she was gonna be the one to bring me back, 862 00:43:40,845 --> 00:43:44,470 restore me to the man I was before I went to war. 863 00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:45,970 That night 864 00:43:45,970 --> 00:43:49,720 we tried to make love... 865 00:43:50,970 --> 00:43:53,136 ...and... 866 00:43:53,136 --> 00:43:55,303 I found that I couldn't. 867 00:43:55,303 --> 00:43:58,470 For years after Afghanistan, 868 00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:02,220 I had thought the problem was my wife. 869 00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:04,345 But then, all of a sudden, it was clear. 870 00:44:05,595 --> 00:44:09,136 The problem had been me all along. 871 00:44:09,136 --> 00:44:11,345 [sighs] 872 00:44:11,345 --> 00:44:13,970 My fate was sealed. 873 00:44:13,970 --> 00:44:17,970 I would never be the man I was before the war. 874 00:44:17,970 --> 00:44:21,303 And I was never going to be enough for Alison 875 00:44:21,303 --> 00:44:22,637 or any woman. 876 00:44:22,637 --> 00:44:24,428 So you killed her? 877 00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:26,845 [sighs] 878 00:44:26,845 --> 00:44:30,095 I never felt such rage. 879 00:44:30,095 --> 00:44:31,762 And because Alison was in front of me, 880 00:44:31,762 --> 00:44:34,178 I-I directed it at her. 881 00:44:35,470 --> 00:44:38,220 She said she was leaving. 882 00:44:38,220 --> 00:44:40,720 She ran to the door. 883 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:44,220 And I didn't want her to go, so I grabbed her by the arm 884 00:44:44,220 --> 00:44:48,220 to try to bring her back, 885 00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:53,053 and I lost my grip, and she fell, hard, 886 00:44:53,053 --> 00:44:55,720 against the bookshelf. 887 00:44:57,512 --> 00:45:01,220 Before I could reach her, this statue, a heavy statue, 888 00:45:01,220 --> 00:45:04,804 it fell on her head. 889 00:45:06,679 --> 00:45:08,637 [voice breaking] And she was gone. 890 00:45:11,345 --> 00:45:13,720 So... it was an accident? 891 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,553 Yes, of course. 892 00:45:16,553 --> 00:45:19,679 I never wanted to hurt your mother. 893 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,845 [sobbing] 894 00:45:32,762 --> 00:45:36,637 I have... I have tried... 895 00:45:36,637 --> 00:45:40,053 to find a way to make what I did bearable. 896 00:45:40,053 --> 00:45:44,428 I have dedicated the last 30 years of my life 897 00:45:44,428 --> 00:45:48,762 creating this place: a safe haven for veterans. 898 00:45:51,512 --> 00:45:56,345 So nobody again will ever lose control 899 00:45:56,345 --> 00:45:58,512 the way I did. 900 00:45:58,512 --> 00:46:01,887 Hurt someone the way I hurt your mother. 901 00:46:01,887 --> 00:46:05,345 You didn't just hurt her. 902 00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:08,095 You killed her. 903 00:46:08,095 --> 00:46:10,804 Yes, and I'm sorry, Joanie. 904 00:46:12,637 --> 00:46:15,637 If you're so sorry, then why didn't you turn yourself in? 905 00:46:15,637 --> 00:46:19,804 I-I don't know what good it would have done. 906 00:46:23,136 --> 00:46:27,470 I-I-I could help more people... 907 00:46:27,470 --> 00:46:31,303 make more amends by being of service to these men, 908 00:46:31,303 --> 00:46:34,345 rather than waste the rest of my life 909 00:46:34,345 --> 00:46:37,095 rotting away in some cell. 910 00:46:37,095 --> 00:46:39,762 Don't you think you should have let a jury make that call? 911 00:46:41,804 --> 00:46:44,136 Y-You know who I think should make that call? 912 00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:48,095 You. 913 00:46:48,095 --> 00:46:50,762 Me? 914 00:46:51,887 --> 00:46:55,845 I promised myself a long time ago, Joanie, 915 00:46:55,845 --> 00:46:58,595 that when you found me-- 916 00:46:58,595 --> 00:47:03,303 and I knew it was a "when," not an "if"-- 917 00:47:03,303 --> 00:47:04,929 that I would submit 918 00:47:04,929 --> 00:47:09,011 to whatever accountability you demanded, 919 00:47:09,011 --> 00:47:12,178 and I-I-I would not resist. 920 00:47:13,178 --> 00:47:14,887 So... 921 00:47:14,887 --> 00:47:19,261 if you want to call the police right now, 922 00:47:19,261 --> 00:47:20,970 I'll give you my phone. 923 00:47:23,553 --> 00:47:27,595 If you want to... you want to kill me... 924 00:47:30,553 --> 00:47:32,220 ...I'll give you my gun. 925 00:47:32,220 --> 00:47:34,887 I am completely in your hands. 926 00:47:42,553 --> 00:47:45,428 If I were going to kill you, 927 00:47:45,428 --> 00:47:48,637 I wouldn't use a gun. 928 00:47:48,637 --> 00:47:50,929 It's too quick. 929 00:47:50,929 --> 00:47:53,428 Okay. 930 00:47:53,428 --> 00:47:55,387 How would you do it? 931 00:47:55,387 --> 00:47:57,720 I'd like to cut off your dick 932 00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:02,637 and let you bleed out like a pig until you die. 933 00:48:05,220 --> 00:48:09,804 Well... that's an option, too. 934 00:48:13,095 --> 00:48:15,136 I have to go. I need to think. 935 00:48:15,136 --> 00:48:16,887 Okay, but, Joanie, 936 00:48:16,887 --> 00:48:19,261 you know where to find me now. 937 00:48:19,261 --> 00:48:21,387 And I'm not gonna run. 938 00:48:23,136 --> 00:48:27,178 I'll be right here whenever you decide. 939 00:48:27,178 --> 00:48:28,887 I have to go. 940 00:48:38,428 --> 00:48:40,470 [EJ] So, what are you gonna do? 941 00:48:40,470 --> 00:48:41,929 I don't know. 942 00:48:41,929 --> 00:48:45,178 -[pours drink] -How about calling the police? 943 00:48:45,178 --> 00:48:47,053 I guess I should? 944 00:48:48,637 --> 00:48:49,970 This man murdered your mother 945 00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:51,470 and then sat there and gave you 946 00:48:51,470 --> 00:48:53,428 a detailed description of how he did it. 947 00:48:53,428 --> 00:48:56,720 That's a special kind of psychopath. 948 00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:59,512 He's a lot of things, but I-I don't think 949 00:48:59,512 --> 00:49:00,970 he's a psychopath. 950 00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:05,136 What? 951 00:49:05,136 --> 00:49:09,679 He seemed sorry. 952 00:49:09,679 --> 00:49:13,387 Truly sorry. 953 00:49:13,387 --> 00:49:16,303 He spent his entire life trying to make amends. 954 00:49:16,303 --> 00:49:18,637 Uh, Joanie, most murderers are sorry for what they did. 955 00:49:18,637 --> 00:49:20,220 They still have to go to prison. 956 00:49:20,220 --> 00:49:22,011 He said I could kill him if I liked. 957 00:49:22,011 --> 00:49:24,053 I think that would be a mistake. 958 00:49:24,053 --> 00:49:25,136 I wasn't being serious. 959 00:49:25,136 --> 00:49:26,220 -Yes, you were. -No, I wasn't. 960 00:49:26,220 --> 00:49:27,303 I think you were. 961 00:49:27,303 --> 00:49:30,220 -EJ. -Joanie, listen to me. 962 00:49:30,220 --> 00:49:31,804 This problem is above your pay grade. 963 00:49:31,804 --> 00:49:33,303 There are people who specialize 964 00:49:33,303 --> 00:49:35,303 in crime and punishment for a living. 965 00:49:35,303 --> 00:49:36,929 That's why they're called the authorities. 966 00:49:36,929 --> 00:49:39,053 How about we let them decide what to do 967 00:49:39,053 --> 00:49:41,428 before we take vengeance into our own hands. 968 00:49:41,428 --> 00:49:45,178 Ben may be sorry, but he was clearheaded enough at the time 969 00:49:45,178 --> 00:49:48,053 to use your mother's history of mental illness against her 970 00:49:48,053 --> 00:49:50,345 and make everyone believe she drowned herself. 971 00:49:55,220 --> 00:49:57,095 That's right. 972 00:49:58,595 --> 00:50:01,345 She drowned. 973 00:50:01,345 --> 00:50:04,011 They found water in her lungs. 974 00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:12,512 ♪ atmospheric music ♪ 975 00:50:12,512 --> 00:50:14,637 ♪♪♪ 976 00:50:35,428 --> 00:50:37,011 [Clark] Benjamin Cruz? 977 00:50:37,011 --> 00:50:39,261 Can I help you? 978 00:50:39,261 --> 00:50:41,595 I'm Detective Clark, this is Detective Woods. 979 00:50:41,595 --> 00:50:43,136 We'd like to ask you a few questions 980 00:50:43,136 --> 00:50:44,637 pertaining to the death of Alison Bailey. 981 00:50:44,637 --> 00:50:46,720 May we come in? 982 00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:49,136 I've made my decision. 983 00:50:51,053 --> 00:50:52,512 Where did you find her? 984 00:50:54,095 --> 00:50:56,345 She's one of the patients from my facility. 985 00:50:56,345 --> 00:51:00,762 She went AWOL last night... and we've been worried sick. 986 00:51:00,762 --> 00:51:03,345 What? 987 00:51:03,345 --> 00:51:05,178 This is her signature, committing herself 988 00:51:05,178 --> 00:51:07,178 -to psychiatric care. -What? 989 00:51:07,178 --> 00:51:09,929 [Ben] And this is my case study for Joanie Lockhart. 990 00:51:09,929 --> 00:51:11,303 She was admitted three weeks ago. 991 00:51:11,303 --> 00:51:12,470 That's not true. None of this is true. 992 00:51:12,470 --> 00:51:14,387 Joanie suffers from severe depression and PTSD. 993 00:51:14,387 --> 00:51:15,970 Her mother tragically committed suicide 994 00:51:15,970 --> 00:51:19,178 when she was seven years old. 995 00:51:19,178 --> 00:51:21,428 And lately she's been experiencing homicidal 996 00:51:21,428 --> 00:51:23,303 fantasies and delusions. 997 00:51:23,303 --> 00:51:25,011 -This is all horseshit. -We have been exploring 998 00:51:25,011 --> 00:51:27,011 some of them in a safe, therapeutic space, 999 00:51:27,011 --> 00:51:30,804 but, um, yesterday she had a turn for the worse 1000 00:51:30,804 --> 00:51:32,887 and she threatened my life. 1001 00:51:32,887 --> 00:51:35,470 [device chimes] 1002 00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:37,303 [Joanie over device] I'd like to cut off your dick 1003 00:51:37,303 --> 00:51:40,845 and let you bleed out like a pig until you die. 1004 00:51:40,845 --> 00:51:43,178 That is not what I said. 1005 00:51:43,178 --> 00:51:44,387 That isn't your voice on the recording? 1006 00:51:44,387 --> 00:51:46,011 Of course it is, but it was meant as a hypothetical, 1007 00:51:46,011 --> 00:51:48,261 like... if I were to kill him. 1008 00:51:51,387 --> 00:51:55,053 He knew my mother. He isn't just a random doctor I came to see. 1009 00:51:55,053 --> 00:51:57,553 He was dating her when she died. 1010 00:51:57,553 --> 00:51:59,679 He told me that he set up this whole clinic 1011 00:51:59,679 --> 00:52:02,428 because he felt like such a shit for what he did 30 years ago. 1012 00:52:02,428 --> 00:52:04,845 Officers, I have nothing to hide. 1013 00:52:04,845 --> 00:52:06,387 I was cleared of any wrongdoing 1014 00:52:06,387 --> 00:52:08,387 in Alison Bailey's death years ago. 1015 00:52:08,387 --> 00:52:10,720 The police ruled it as a suicide. 1016 00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:12,887 Joanie just can't accept it. 1017 00:52:12,887 --> 00:52:16,345 She needs someone to blame. 1018 00:52:16,345 --> 00:52:20,345 She herself has made a series of suicide attempts, 1019 00:52:20,345 --> 00:52:23,845 as you can see referenced on pages five and six. 1020 00:52:26,345 --> 00:52:28,345 [Clark] Ms. Lockhart, what are you doing? 1021 00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,428 Where is it, Ben? 1022 00:52:30,428 --> 00:52:32,679 -Where's your fucking gun? -There's no gun. 1023 00:52:32,679 --> 00:52:34,512 He said I could kill him with it if I wanted to. 1024 00:52:34,512 --> 00:52:36,970 I don't have a gun, Joanie. 1025 00:52:36,970 --> 00:52:38,804 I run a therapeutic center 1026 00:52:38,804 --> 00:52:41,053 for PTSD recovery. 1027 00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:42,720 A gun would be a very dangerous thing 1028 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:45,345 to have on these premises, wouldn't it? 1029 00:52:45,345 --> 00:52:48,178 [Woods] Ms. Lockhart, is it true what he's saying? 1030 00:52:48,178 --> 00:52:49,887 Are you a patient at this facility? 1031 00:52:49,887 --> 00:52:52,679 -No, of course not. -[Clark] All right, but... 1032 00:52:52,679 --> 00:52:55,178 this is your signature on this form? 1033 00:52:55,178 --> 00:52:58,053 I wasn't paying attention to what I was signing. 1034 00:52:58,053 --> 00:53:00,178 So you didn't read what the form said? 1035 00:53:00,178 --> 00:53:02,387 You aren't listening to me. 1036 00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,387 I'm telling the truth. 1037 00:53:04,387 --> 00:53:06,053 I'm not the crazy one. 1038 00:53:06,053 --> 00:53:08,303 -He is. -Okay, well, why would you sign 1039 00:53:08,303 --> 00:53:09,720 something you didn't read, ma'am? 1040 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:10,929 Because I was too busy thinking about 1041 00:53:10,929 --> 00:53:12,387 how I was gonna kill him. 1042 00:53:14,595 --> 00:53:16,637 Mr. Cruz, do you want us 1043 00:53:16,637 --> 00:53:18,428 to remove Ms. Lockhart from the property? 1044 00:53:18,428 --> 00:53:20,470 That won't be necessary. 1045 00:53:20,470 --> 00:53:22,220 Are you sure, sir? 1046 00:53:22,220 --> 00:53:25,428 More than anything, right now, she needs my support. 1047 00:53:25,428 --> 00:53:28,220 Sorry to have wasted your time, Officers. 1048 00:53:28,220 --> 00:53:29,470 [Clark] Okay. 1049 00:53:29,470 --> 00:53:31,220 [door opens] 1050 00:53:32,553 --> 00:53:35,512 [sighs] 1051 00:53:41,303 --> 00:53:44,637 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 1052 00:53:44,637 --> 00:53:47,929 You can't touch me now, Joanie. 1053 00:53:47,929 --> 00:53:51,095 Police are watching you now. 1054 00:53:51,095 --> 00:53:53,887 You'll go to prison for the rest of your life. 1055 00:53:53,887 --> 00:53:56,345 Your kids will grow up without a mother. 1056 00:53:56,345 --> 00:53:58,428 That's not what you want, is it? 1057 00:53:58,428 --> 00:54:00,595 What do you know about my kids? 1058 00:54:00,595 --> 00:54:02,595 I meant what I said. 1059 00:54:02,595 --> 00:54:06,470 I thought about you over the years, wondered how you were. 1060 00:54:06,470 --> 00:54:08,929 Were you watching me? 1061 00:54:08,929 --> 00:54:11,095 I looked you up online. 1062 00:54:11,095 --> 00:54:13,136 When did you know it was me? 1063 00:54:13,136 --> 00:54:15,929 When you took off your sunglasses. 1064 00:54:15,929 --> 00:54:17,512 Why didn't you say something then? 1065 00:54:17,512 --> 00:54:21,136 What was the point of this whole exercise? 1066 00:54:21,136 --> 00:54:23,637 ♪ slow, suspenseful music ♪ 1067 00:54:23,637 --> 00:54:25,804 My mother was still breathing 1068 00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:28,220 when her body went into the water. 1069 00:54:28,220 --> 00:54:30,470 She didn't die in our apartment like you said she did. 1070 00:54:30,470 --> 00:54:32,679 She had water in her lungs. 1071 00:54:32,679 --> 00:54:34,512 She fucking drowned. 1072 00:54:34,512 --> 00:54:36,220 Calm down. 1073 00:54:36,220 --> 00:54:38,387 Can I get you something? A drink? 1074 00:54:38,387 --> 00:54:40,178 You wanted me to call the police. 1075 00:54:40,178 --> 00:54:42,512 So you could show them my signature 1076 00:54:42,512 --> 00:54:45,804 and play them the tape and make me seem like a nutjob. 1077 00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:49,178 The one person left alive who knows what you did. 1078 00:54:49,178 --> 00:54:51,512 You killed her, and then you dumped her body in the water. 1079 00:54:51,512 --> 00:54:53,762 You made it look like a suicide. You used her history 1080 00:54:53,762 --> 00:54:57,053 and you set her up just like you set me up, didn't you? 1081 00:54:58,929 --> 00:55:00,095 Yes. 1082 00:55:00,095 --> 00:55:02,303 Why? 1083 00:55:02,303 --> 00:55:03,720 I didn't want to go to prison. 1084 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:06,011 Oh, you're a killer. You belong in prison. 1085 00:55:06,011 --> 00:55:08,762 Oh, thou shall not kill. 1086 00:55:08,762 --> 00:55:12,345 Well... except sometimes. 1087 00:55:12,345 --> 00:55:15,220 I killed people in Afghanistan, plenty of them. 1088 00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:17,762 Some of them innocent civilians. 1089 00:55:20,095 --> 00:55:22,220 It wasn't a crime there. 1090 00:55:22,220 --> 00:55:23,470 Why should it be a crime here? 1091 00:55:24,679 --> 00:55:28,095 You took my mother from me. 1092 00:55:29,970 --> 00:55:32,428 I was a child. 1093 00:55:34,345 --> 00:55:36,470 You took her. 1094 00:55:41,553 --> 00:55:43,011 You know, 1095 00:55:43,011 --> 00:55:45,887 you are just so much like her. 1096 00:55:45,887 --> 00:55:47,845 When you showed up at my door, 1097 00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:52,053 you seemed so... strong, so tough. 1098 00:55:53,220 --> 00:55:56,303 I should have known it was a mask. 1099 00:55:56,303 --> 00:55:58,053 Just like hers. 1100 00:55:58,053 --> 00:56:00,220 You're just as sad 1101 00:56:00,220 --> 00:56:02,845 and as frightened as she was. 1102 00:56:02,845 --> 00:56:03,887 [shouts] 1103 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:08,512 [gasping] 1104 00:56:20,887 --> 00:56:22,970 [strained] Harder. 1105 00:56:22,970 --> 00:56:25,679 Harder. 1106 00:56:25,679 --> 00:56:27,512 Oh. 1107 00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:34,261 I understand why you came here now. 1108 00:56:34,261 --> 00:56:37,345 It wasn't for Alison at all. 1109 00:56:38,845 --> 00:56:42,720 You just want someone to put you out of your pain. 1110 00:56:46,762 --> 00:56:50,512 I'm not gonna do you that favor. 1111 00:56:50,512 --> 00:56:51,970 [gasps] 1112 00:56:51,970 --> 00:56:53,845 [coughing] 1113 00:56:57,220 --> 00:57:00,804 I'm sorry for your pain, Joanie. 1114 00:57:00,804 --> 00:57:02,679 I really am. 1115 00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:07,929 But if I go away, 1116 00:57:07,929 --> 00:57:10,762 what happens to these patients? 1117 00:57:10,762 --> 00:57:12,804 They need me here. 1118 00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:16,679 You are so full of shit, and you know it. 1119 00:57:16,679 --> 00:57:19,553 I've paid for my sins. 1120 00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:24,011 I can live with myself. 1121 00:57:24,011 --> 00:57:26,053 ♪ slow, somber music ♪ 1122 00:57:26,053 --> 00:57:28,637 ♪♪♪ 1123 00:57:28,637 --> 00:57:31,887 You're the one, apparently, 1124 00:57:31,887 --> 00:57:33,970 who cannot. 1125 00:57:38,011 --> 00:57:40,053 ♪ atmospheric music ♪ 1126 00:57:40,053 --> 00:57:41,929 ♪♪♪