- [scary music]
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- It's time for trick or treating.
- [audience laughter] - Let's go.
This tooth wants to chew on some candy.
- [audience laughter] - We can't leave Phoebe and Max,
we need them for our dental themed costumes.
- Dental themed? I thought I was zit cream.
- [audience laughter] - It says "Tooth paste."
- Sure it does, Nora.
- [audience laughter]
- Hey, why aren't you wearing your costumes?
- If you could see yourselves, you wouldn't ask that question.
- [audience laughter]
- Plus we're going to a party with our friends
at the pumpkin patch.
- Yeah but trick or treating together
is a Thunderman tradition.
- Yeah but so is me and Phoebe ditching you guys.
- [audience laughter] - Not this year.
I am putting my foot down!
- Let them go, Dad. It's more candy for us.
- [audience laughter] - Foot's back up, see ya.
- [audience laughter]
- [lightning strikes]
- Oh no, a storm.
- Sorry, guys, it doesn't sound safe out there.
- Speak for yourselves, slow pokes.
I'm faster than lightning.
- [audience laughter] - [lightning strikes]
- Nope, lightning's faster.
- [audience laughter]
- Man up, Billy, we need that candy.
- [audience laughter] - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nobody is going trick or treating.
How about we make popcorn and watch a scary movie?
- [sighs]
- [lightning strikes]
- Oh no, looks like the storm knocked the power out.
- Halloween is ruined.
- COLOSSO: Or, has it just begun?
[maniacal laughter]
- [audience laughter]
- Welcome to the scariest night of your lives, boys and ghouls.
- [audience laughter]
- Okay, what and why is this happening?
- I knew a storm was coming, so I prepared
a night of scary stories.
And if it's candy you're after, I have plenty of chocolates.
- [audience laughter] - [maniacal laughter]
¶ It's scary time ¶
¶ With Colosso ¶
¶ You're gonna pee ¶
¶ Your dumb pants ¶
- [audience laughter]
- ¶ This is lame ¶
¶ And we are leaving ¶
- [audience laughter]
- Oh, cause you're scared, right?
- No, Colosso, we're superheroes, okay?
There's no story you could tell that would frighten us.
- Challenge accepted!
- [audience laughter] - Nobody challenged--
- I said challenge accepted!
- [audience laughter]
- Fine, we'll stay.
But only 'cause lightning's bad for my hair.
- [audience laughter]
- Now prepare yourselves for the scare-raising tale
of The Troll In The Bowl.
- [lightning strikes]
- [bats screeching]
- ¶
- [screams]
- [audience laughter] - What is it?
Did you walk in on dad in the bathroom?
- [audience laughter] - Worse.
Well nothing's worse than that. - [audience laughter]
- But look, all our Halloween candy's gone.
- No!
- [audience laughter]
- Relax, we got your candy right here.
- Thank goodness. - Come to mama.
- Oh no, not so fast.
Haven't you ever heard of the troll in the bowl?
- [audience laughter] - The what in the where?
- [audience laughter]
- If you eat more than one piece of candy a day--
- A mean, ugly troll will come out of the bowl--
- And get you. - [audience laughter]
- Just don't eat too much candy.
- [audience laughter]
- [sighs] Well, our parents have spoken,
so I guess we better listen to them!
- [audience laughter] - Then, why are you
taking the candy? - Just grab your bucket.
- [audience laughter]
- [door closes]
- [audience gasps]
- Can you believe mom and dad thought they could trick us?
- Yeah, like there's such thing as the troll in the bowl.
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- I think I just saw something.
- It's called coconut, eat around it.
- [audience laughter]
- TROLL: Just one piece.
- Did you hear that?
- It's just dad.
You caught us!
If you don't tell mom, then we'll share our candy!
- [audience laughter]
- Just one piece.
- [screams]
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- That was close.
Why did you knock me over?
- One of us had to live to tell the story.
- [audience laughter]
- Good thinking. - [audience laughter]
- Maybe if we don't eat any more candy, we'll be safe.
- [audience laughter] - What are you doing?
- Sorry, turns out I like coconut.
- [audience laughter] - Billy.
- What? It's not like the troll can get inside.
- Just one piece.
- He got inside!
- [screams] - [audience laughter]
- Let's go hide in the bathroom.
- ¶
- HANK: I'm in here. - [screaming]
- ¶
- Just one piece.
- [screaming] - [audience laughter]
- ¶ - Oh.
- Just one piece.
Just one piece. - [audience laughter]
- Just. One. Piece.
- [audience laughter] - [screams]
- [audience laughter]
- What happened?
- The troll turned us into candy.
And we look delicious.
- [audience laughter]
- Ooh hmm, mmm.
Don't mind if I do.
- [audience laughter]
- [screams]
- And they all lived happily ever after.
Except for the kids, who's father ate them, bones and all.
- [audience laughter] - [maniacal laughter]
- [audience laughter]
- Colosso, that story is not gonna scare anyone.
Right, guys? - NORA: Get out of my way!
- I'm more scared than you!
- [audience laughter]
- [maniacal laughter] Two down.
Looks like I'm winning the challenge.
- Again, nobody challenged you.
- I said I'm winning!
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- ¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Living our lives ¶
¶ With a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you'd never guess ¶
¶ Cause we're living our lives ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ The closer you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal ¶
¶ And stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Living a double life ¶¶
- ¶
- Now scare were we?
- [audience laughter]
- Well you were trying to frighten us
with your stories, but what's really frightening
are your stupid jokes. - [audience laughter]
- That reminds me, I was just about to serve you
some fettuccine afraid-o,
with some extra scream sauce.
- Oh just get to the next story.
- [audience laughter]
- Fine. This one's about a family
known as the Monstermans.
- [audience laughter] - ¶
- ¶ What you see ¶
¶ Will give you a fright ¶
¶ You better watch out ¶
¶ Because we bite ¶
¶ We don't fit in ¶
¶ Our faces can't be seen ¶
¶ Every day for us ¶
¶ Is like Halloween ¶
¶ A scary, spooky family ¶
¶ Is what we're actually ¶
¶ A total mystery ¶
¶ To everyone we know ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's a monstrosity ¶
¶ Just a ghoulish family ¶
¶ We wanna meet you ¶
¶ Possibly eat you ¶
¶ Living the monster life ¶
- [howls]
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- [doorbell rings]
- [howls]
- Quiet, Max, it's just our pizza.
I'll put on my human disguise.
- Just open the door.
Halloween's the one day a year
we can be our true monster selves.
- [audience laughter] - Hmm. For someone who chases
firetrucks, you make a good point.
- I'm gonna get 'em one of these days.
- [audience laughter]
- Okay, here goes nothing.
Hi, thanks for the pizza.
I'll enjoy eating it in my Halloween costume.
I'm not a real witch, bye.
- [audience laughter]
- Well, it worked.
- [audience laughter]
- Hey we should go to Spot Burger's
Halloween party as ourselves.
- Great idea.
No one will know we're really monsters.
And if they find out, we can just eat them.
- [audience laughter]
- You're not eating anyone because you're not going.
- Come on, Dad. - What?!
- We know it's been hard since the monster league
moved us to Humanville, but we have to be careful.
No going out without your disguises.
- Come on, we promise we won't let anyone
discover our family secret.
- Yeah, or let anyone use Nora's toilet paper.
- [audience laughter]
- Sorry, but we can't trust Chloe
and her little zombie appetite. - [audience laughter]
- Little? She ate the brains of half
the original cast of Hamilton.
- [audience laughter]
- Mmm, brains.
- [audience laughter]
- What if we got Chloe a babysitter?
- Could work, but we'd have to find someone
without any brains.
- [slurps] - [audience laughter]
- Thanks for thinking of me. - [audience laughter]
- Chloe and I are gonna have so much fun.
- [audience laughter]
- How could you leave me home, you monsters?
- [audience laughter]
- You remember the rules, right?
- If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
- [audience laughter]
- She means about watching Chloe.
- Oh. - [audience laughter]
- Yeah. If Chloe's out of sight,
then things are not alright.
- [audience laughter]
- I feel good about this, let's go.
- [audience laughter]
- So, Chloe, what do you wanna play first?
[slurps]
Oh, brain freeze.
- [audience laughter] - You have a brain?
- [audience laughter] - Of course, why?
- I'm just asking for a friend.
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- Remember, no howling, no spell casting,
no weird bug stuff,
and no whatever it is mummies do.
- [growls] - Yeah, that, don't do that.
- [audience laughter]
- Happy Halloween, losers. - [audience laughter]
- Why aren't you wearing a costume, Mrs. Wong?
- I am, I'm dressed as an over-worked restauranteur
who knows there's something weird about your family.
- I'm not a real witch! - [audience laughter]
- What she means is we're all wearing costumes.
- [audience laughter]
- You look like an actual bug.
- If I was, would I be able to resist flying into that light?
- [audience laughter]
- That warm, beautiful, let me at it!
- [audience laughter]
- Every family has a weird one. - [audience laughter]
- Your family has a lot of them.
- [audience laughter]
- I'll be watching you.
- [audience laughter]
- Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
- Hey don't worry, just act natural
and everything will be fine.
- ¶
- [howls]
- [audience laughter]
- Stop that. Down, boy, down, down.
- [audience laughter]
- Wong saw that.
- One more slip-up and we are going home.
And you are going to the kennel. - [chomps]
- [audience laughter]
- Ow! - Excuse you, broccoli face.
- [audience laughter] - [scoffs] How dare you?
Jerkus broccoletus.
- [audience laughter]
- I was right!
- [audience gasps]
- Somebody order broccoli?
- [audience laughter]
- You weirdos are real monsters.
Get them!
- [audience laughter]
- [crowd grumbles]
- Where did you even get those?
- Bed, Bath and Pitch Forks.
- [audience laughter]
- What do we do?
- Win them over, with dance.
Humans love when monsters dance.
- ¶
- ¶ Roar, roar ¶
¶ Roar, roar ¶
¶ Ooh ¶
- [audience laughter]
- ¶ Wobble, wobble ¶
¶ Wobble, wobble ¶
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- [audience laughter]
- You can't hypnotize us with your funky moves.
Get them!
- [crowd grumbles]
- Oh no, we're doomed.
- [crowd grumbles]
- Leave my family alone.
- [audience laughter]
- Chloe?
- Out of my way, Halloweenies.
- [audience laughter]
- I'm not scared of no mini monster,
what are you gonna do?
- Eat your brains, baby. - [audience laughter]
- [screams]
- [glass shatters] - [screaming]
- Well looks like we're moving again.
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- I don't wanna be a scary monster.
- Oh, honey, there's nothing to be scared of.
Now let's go upstairs and lock your door.
- [audience laughter]
- Can't believe that scared them.
Zombies are about as real as...
Colosso's fur extensions.
- Oh, I knew it. - [audience laughter]
- You must feel like a big bunny scaring a poor little girl.
- You're talking about Chloe, or yourself?
- Oh, I am not scared, I am a Thunderman. [screams]
Thunderman, away.
- [audience laughter]
- [maniacal laughter]
- Looks like someone booked a flight
on American Scare-lines.
- [audience laughter]
- Which means you're the last two standing.
And I've saved the scariest story for you.
- [Christmas music plays]
- What? No. - [audience laughter]
- [Christmas music plays]
- Wrong button. - [audience laughter]
- Curse these paws.
- [audience laughter] - [Christmas music plays]
- ¶ It's time for the last story ¶
¶ You're gonna scream ¶
¶ Like little babies ¶ - [audience laughter]
- Why didn't we just take our chances with the lightning?
- [audience laughter]
- Just face it, Colosso, you're never gonna scare us.
- Yeah and is this gonna last much longer?
I'm starving. - Survive this last story,
and I'll give you chicken tenders.
- [audience laughter] - They're terri-frying.
- [audience laughter]
- Anywho, the final spook-tacular tale
is called Phoebe The Vampire Slayer.
- [audience laughter] - [lightning strikes]
- [bats screeching]
- ¶
- Hurry up, Cherry, we're running late.
- For school? - No, for our morning selife.
- [audience laughter]
- [camera clicks] - Max.
Come on, you ruined our selfie.
- [hisses]
- [audience laughter]
- Did Max just hiss at us? - [audience laughter]
- Yeah that was weird.
And has he stopped wearing his retainer?
Because his teeth looked all jacked up.
- [audience laughter]
- He's been acting strange lately.
Sleeps all day, stays up all night.
He even started a blood drive at school.
- Max is doing charity?
Maybe he's turning into a nice person.
- Or a vampire.
- [laughing]
- [audience laughter]
- Wait a second, can I see that selfie we just took?
Vampires don't show up in photos.
He's not there.
- [audience gasps]
- I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation
for all of this.
- The explanation is he's a vampire.
- [audience laughter]
- Let's get out of here, quietly.
- Okay.
Sleep tight, Max.
- [audience laughter]
- What are you guys doing in my lair?
- [laughs]
Just wanted to see if you were a vampire.
- [audience laughter]
- And you are, please don't bite us.
- [audience laughter]
- What?
Me, a vampire? What?
- [audience laughter]
- Max, you were hanging upside down.
- Maybe you were the ones hanging upside down.
- [audience laughter] - Ever think of that?
- [audience laughter] - I didn't.
Phoebe, are we vampires? - [audience laughter]
- No, Cherry, Max is lying through his fangs.
He's the vampire.
- Ladies, let's talk about this over breakfast.
By the way, you're the breakfast.
- [hisses] - [audience laughter]
- [screams]
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- Hurry up, he's coming.
- ¶ - Ah, stupid sun.
- [audience laughter]
- That's right, sunlight burns vampires.
- Let's get to school.
- Wait, wait, wait, I forgot my homework.
- You mean this?
- [audience laughter]
- Stay strong, Phoebe, it's just homework.
- [audience laughter]
- I'm writing a fart joke in your history essay.
- [audience laughter]
- But I stayed up all night writing that essay
about the founding fathers.
- You mean founding farters? - [audience laughter]
- No!
- Your homework's gone, Phoebe.
It's gone.
- [audience laughter]
- ¶
- Okay, we should be safe here.
Max can't follow us.
- Phoebe, I have a feeling that Max isn't the only vampire.
- [audience laughter]
- If they can't go out in daylight,
how'd they all get to school?
Umbrellas?
Smart and stylish. - [audience laughter]
- I don't wanna be a vampire.
Let's hide in the bathroom.
- HANK: I'm in here.
- [screams]
- [audience laughter]
- Wait a minute, we know how to defeat vampires.
Remember our favorite teen vamp romance novel?
- [gasps] "The Fault in Our Neck Scars"?
Team Dimitri 'til the day I die,
which might be today.
- [audience laughter]
- In the book they used garlic to turn the head vampire
back to human, then all the other vampires
turned back, too. - [gasps]
Dimitri is so cute.
- Focus! - Right.
Max organized the blood drive, so he must be the leader,
but...where are we gonna get garlic?
- Look, it's Italian Tuesday in the cafeteria.
I'll go load up.
- I'll stay here and pretend like I don't have a neck.
- [audience laughter]
- No neck Cherry, nothing to bite here.
- [audience laughter]
- I better hurry up.
- [audience laughter]
- MAX: Hey, Cherry.
- [yells]
- [audience laughter]
- Uh, how'd you get here without an umbrella?
- Sunblock.
- [audience laughter]
- [gasps]
- Have I told you about my blood drive?
cause you're about to donate.
- [audience laughter]
- Hey, Count Dork-ula.
Do you like garlic?
- [hisses]
- [audience laughter] - Wait.
It's Italian Tuesday?
Did nobody bite the lunch lady?
- [audience laughter]
- Bite this.
- ¶
- Oww, oww.
Oww, oww.
Phoebe, I'm not the vampire. - [audience laughter]
- You're about to be. [hisses]
- Cherry! - ¶
- [hisses] - [audience laughter]
- ¶
- Join us, Phoebe.
We can be best friends forever.
Literally forever.
- [audience laughter] - [hisses]
- Cherry you'll be back to normal
as soon as I take care of Max.
- [hisses] - MAX: Good luck with that.
- [hisses] - [audience laughter]
- She's mine.
- [hisses]
- Time for a second course.
- [audience laughter]
- Garlic bread swords.
They're no match for my real swords.
- [audience laughter] - An umbrella, really?
Did nobody bite the fencing club?
- [audience laughter]
- [hisses]
- ¶
- [grunting]
- ¶
¶
- Looks like you're all out of garlic.
- [hisses]
- ¶
- Five-second rule.
- ¶
- [groans] - [audience laughter]
- ¶
- My fangs are gone.
And my cool sunglasses. - [audience laughter]
- You're welcome. - [audience laughter]
- For what? I liked being a vampire.
I was this close to learning how to become a bat.
- [hisses]
- [audience laughter]
- I don't get it.
You're the head vampire, they should all be human by now.
- But I'm not the head vampire.
- Then who is?
- I am.
- [screams] - [audience laughter]
- Mmm. Told you I'd scare you all.
- Yeah the only thing scary is the bunny spit on my neck.
- [audience laughter] - Whoa.
- [audience laughter]
- And why was dad in our school's bathroom?
- Because.
- [audience laughter]
- It was a horror story.
- [audience laughter]
- Sorry, Colosso, you lose.
- Let me try again,
I have one more thing that will definitely scare you.
It's me without my fur extensions.
- [audience laughter]
- [screams]
- [audience laughter]
- COLOSSO: Ah, it's too easy.
- [audience laughter]
- Ha, looks like I scared an entire family
of super heroes. - [audience laughter]
- This is the greatest fright of my life. [laughs]
Oh. - [audience laughter]
- COLOSSO: Uh-oh.
It's locked.
And it's dark in here.
- [lightning strikes]
- COLOSSO: I'm scared.
Relax, Colosso.
Monsters aren't real.
[screams] Ghost Chloe!
No wait, that's my ball. - [audience laughter]
- COLOSSO: Maybe some music will soothe my nerves.
- [Christmas music plays]
- COLOSSO: Oh come on. - [audience laughter]
- COLOSSO: Now I'm scared and annoyed.
Hello? Anyone?
Oh ho, ho.
- ¶
¶
¶¶