- ¶
- Allison's coming back? Finally.
Who's Allison?
- What...? Um...
Max's girlfriend?
The one who's been away volunteering
with the Earth Corps for three months?
- How could you forget her name?
- 'Cause I didn't write it on my wrist...
Dad.
- Well, I hope she gets here soon
because Max's attitude is unbearable.
- ¶ Allison! ¶
¶ You're comin' back real soon! ¶
- I think I know why she left.
- I know and now it's rubbin' off on your mom.
- ¶ Allison! ¶
¶ Max's girlfriend is in! ¶
- Wow. It's like a musical--
without any good songs or talent.
- Come, family, see the feast I prepared.
I made all of Allison's favorites--
kale tacos, cabbage dogs and broccoli burgers.
- Well, no wonder she's so angry.
- All right, don't worry, guys.
This is why I installed the emergency meat button.
- [ham plunks]
- [kisses ham]
- That's why our house smells like a deli.
- [cell phone bings] - Oh! It's Allison.
[giggles]
- Ooh, Max's girlfriend loves him.
- "Max, I'm--
breaking up with you"?
- Wow. I was way off.
- "I realized you're not my soulmate,
the Earth is."
Stupid Earth!
I shoulda destroyed it when I had the chance!
- Yeah, Earth is the worst.
I don't know. I'm trying to be supportive.
- You don't need her, Max.
There's other fish in the sea.
- And under our seats.
- Are you okay, honey? - Yeah.
Yeah...I'm fine.
I'll never love again!!
- He's not serious.
- MAX: I'm super serious!!
- Oh, no, the kids have been attacked
by Professor Fancy Pants.
- Well, I wish he'd attacked sooner.
They look amazing!
- We're just a couple of mature individuals
who want to have an adult conversation with their parents.
- That's right, so, sit back, relax,
and have a cup of coffee.
- BARB: Ohhh...
we'd love some.
No. - Ugh.
That tastes like dirt water.
- It's that what coffee is?
- We believe we're ready to begin
a more grown-up level of superhero training.
You started training Phoebe when she was our age.
- Ah, Phoebe's special--
just like you guys.
- We've taken down some serious villains--
like Fairy Pinch-ess at the prom.
- Allow us to refresh your memories.
- [Velcro ripping]
- I'm gonna pinch you into next week.
- But she didn't, because Billy zapped her...
and I locked her in a box.
- You have zapted me. Goodbye, cruel world.
- Get in the box, Scarlett Johansson.
- [whooshing]
[whooshing]
- Another villain taken out by Billy and...
Nora!
- Okay, you guys convinced us.
- Meet us in the driveway tomorrow afternoon,
and we will begin your next phase of superhero training.
- Nora, we did it!
- I told you it would work. - BARB: [laughs]
- CHLOE: Guys, can I come out now?
Hello?
- All right, Max, the break-up was a few days ago.
Bet you're itching to get back out on patrol.
- [exaggerated groaning]
- Or itching 'cause you're a filthy dirt monster.
- Why would I go out on patrol?
Just arrest Allison for breaking and entering--
[whines] my heart!
- Come on, Max, you've gotta get over this now.
I know your heart is broken, but the shower is not.
- We will shower when we're good and ready.
- I'm sorry. "We"?
- You heard him, girlie.
When my Maxie stinks, I stink.
- Quiet. Humans talking.
Max, come on. Get up and let's go.
[powers whooshing] - MAX: [groaning]
- That's it. I'm puttin' you on ice.
[blows frosty air]
- What happened to your freeze breath?
That was no freeze and all breath--
terrible, horrible breath.
- That's all I got.
Allison really broke me.
Now I'm just an extremely handsome
shell of my former self.
- When my Maxie is handsome, I'm hand--
- Zip it, Stinky. - [step shatters]
- These stairs always worked when I was with Allison!
- I've never seen him like this before.
I've gotta get him to snap out of
this funk and be super again.
- COLOSSO: Impossible.
He only wants Allison back and that's not gonna happen.
- But I could find him a new "Allison."
- [girly voice] Well, look no further.
- This is disturbing in so many ways.
- [girly voice] Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!
- ¶
¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Livin' our life with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you never guess ¶
¶ 'Cause we're livin' our life ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ Look closer, you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Livin' a double life ¶¶
- ¶
- [metal detector whirring, beeping]
- Cherry?
Um, what're you doin'?
How is this gonna help us find Max a new girlfriend?
- [laughing] Oh, I thought you said "new gold pen."
- [metal detector whirring]
- Okay. Um... [laughs]
I figure the best way to help Max
get over Allison is to find him a new girl
that's exactly like Allison.
- Yeah, that makes total sense.
Any girl would be lucky to date Max.
- Everything is pain!
Your relationship is doomed!
- Yeah, I was wrong. He'll never date again.
- I guess it was a crazy idea, anyway.
I mean, it's not like the universe
is just gonna send us a new Allison.
- This is new Allison.
- Actually, my name is Molly.
- Actually, I don't care.
She's the new head of Green Teens and your problem now.
Out of my way, delinquents!
- So, guys, my first big event
is a pet adoption fair this afternoon.
Will you help me spread the word?
- Sure.
There's a pet adoption fair this afternoon!!
- Um, I think she meant the flyers.
- Oh. And there's also flyers!!
- I love your enthusiasm. Thanks, guys.
- Phoebe, this is amazing. She's just like Allison.
- Yeah.
I don't know. She's missing that little bit of crazy Max likes.
- MOLLY: Hey! Recycle, butt face!
- I'm wrong. She's perfect. Molly, wait up!
- ¶
- Hey, kids.
Ready to take your training to the next level?
- BILLY & NORA: Yeah!
- Meet the Crime Buddy.
- Hello, little supes.
Let's have some training fun.
- [music playing]
- Oh, this is the perfect training tool--
for a baby.
- Or someone who's just been born.
- The training bot is built to challenge
supes at any level.
Right now, it's set to cutesy-wootsy
because you two are cutesy-wootsy.
- We're not cutesy-wootsy.
- I don't know. I'm pretty adorable.
- At least challenge us
and crank this thing up to meanie-weanie.
- No, no, no. I know this probably feels like
we're taking things a little slow.
- But if you want to fight for justice,
you're gonna have to trust us. Oh!
- Honey, did you just make that up?
- Yeah, I just did!
Okay, uh, you two do your best,
and we'll be back to check on you later.
- Use your powers to pop as many bubbles
as you can, heroes.
- Billy, this is so beneath us.
- This is the greatest day of my life!
- [bubbles popping]
- [groans] Colosso!
We're outta pizza. Order more.
- [groans] Later.
My belly's full and telling me I need a power nap.
- Good idea, pal.
Allison can't hurt us in our sleep.
- Come on in. This is my brother, Max.
Max, this is Molly. Say hello.
- [exaggerating groaning]
- Oh, my goodness.
I've never seen an animal in worse condition.
- Okay, look, I know he seems gross now,
but I promise you under, all that funk there is a hunk.
- I'm not talking about that animal.
This animal.
Pepperoni pizza is not a healthy diet for a bunny.
He looks sick. - Colosso?
He's not sick. His heart is just slowin' down
so he can digest the cheese.
Phoebe, get the pizza police outta here!
- Uh, Max, can I talk to you in the kitchen
for a second, please?
Uh, Molly, make yourself at home.
Have some floor pizza.
Okay, Max, you miss Allison. I get it.
But I got you a new Allison.
Don't blow it.
- What's the point?
It's only a matter of time
before she leaves me for the Earth.
Stupid Earth!
I refuse to breathe your air! [holding breath]
[gasping for air]
Darn it, Earth. You win again.
- [sighs] Max, you're a superhero, okay?
How are you supposed to fight criminals
when they can smell you coming a mile away?
- Okay, I am still super. - Uh-huh.
- Check out my heat breath.
[loud belch]
Just heat that up and you'll be good to go.
- Oh, great, you ran her off.
- She ran off because she stole Colosso.
- What? What makes you think that?
- 'Cause she left a note that says "I stole Colosso!"
She took him to the pet adoption fair.
- Okay, don't freak out. Colosso's not in danger, right?
He's one of the most evil supervillains of all time.
Oh, we should probably go get him.
- ¶
- Okay, for the millionth time--I'm sorry.
- Sorry your nut ball friend
stole the world's most adorable supervillain?
- Yes? - You're not forgiven!
- Max, I'm gonna fix this, okay?
I will do everything in my power to make sure
Colosso never finds a loving home. Let's go!
Ma'am, I demand to see what you're snuggling.
- [snake hissing]
- PHOEBE: [squeals] Ah, it's a snake.
- Molly's over there. Let's go.
- All right. Hey, bunny thief!
You stole Dr. Colosso and my brother wants him back.
- Too bad. He's already been rescued
by a loving, nurturing owner.
- I've been so lonely since my old pet, Chesterfield, left.
I bet you can't wait to snuggle with Papa Tad.
- How has my life come to this?
- See? Colosso's better off without you.
Stay away from him!!
- Well, Bradford's never gonna hand Colosso over.
He hates us.
- No, no, no. I am not gonna let Sad Tad ruin our lives.
We just have to follow him home and steal Colosso back.
And nothing is getting in our way.
- [snake hissing] - [squeals] Snake!
- ¶
- CRIME BUDDY: Are you ready to do the crime boogie?
- [music playing]
- Freeze when the music stops.
- I wish this pre-school party would stop.
- CRIME BUDDY: Don't complain, t-t-t-train!
- [music continues]
[music stops] - Good job not moving.
Level 2: Cleared. - [music playing]
- This is crazy.
Mom and Dad are still training us like babies.
But we know we can handle real grown-up training, right?
- Yeah. - We took down villains.
We shouldn't be wasting time on this baby bot.
Right? - Yeah!
- You're gonna go crank up that crime bot
to the meanie-weanie level.
Right? - No!
Mom and Dad said that we're not ready.
- Then let's prove them wrong.
- CRIME BUDDY: Leveling up. Stand by.
- Hey, let's go get a snack
while this thing levels up.
- Yeah. Then we'll come back and show
this goofy little robot who's boss.
- CRIME BUDDY: [whirring]
Meanie-weanie mode: Complete.
- I think he's the boss.
- [laser zaps]
- I miss the bubbles.
- [whistling]
- This makes no sense.
We've been following him around town for an hour.
Why didn't he go home?
- [pounding locker]
Tad Bradford.
- 'Cause he lives here in a locker bed.
- Welcome to the Tad Pad.
Oh, hey, would you like to see
my old high school yearbook, Mr. Snuggly-Poo?
Oh, you're so excited, you're shivering.
Uh, ooh, this is me with my girlfriend, Valerie.
This is me and my roller-skating gang.
Respect!
- [quietly groaning]
- This is me thinking this is hilarious.
- I can't laugh.
Allison broke my heart and my funny bone.
- Would you forget about Allison
and focus on getting Colosso back.
We'll just have to wait for Bradford to fall asleep,
so we can grab Colosso and get outta here.
- Oh, and this is me playing Homecoming with my band--
the Red Hot Chili Bradfords.
Yeah, that's right. I can still hit the high notes.
¶ Yeah yeah you know it ¶
[high note screeching] ¶ Ahhhh ¶
- Amazing. [laughs]
Seriously, nothing? All right.
- ¶
- The Crime Buddy won't stop looking for us.
What are we supposed to do?
- Just stay put.
It's gotta give up sooner or later.
- CRIME BUDDY: Engage infrared loser scan.
- [dramatic music]
- [scan beeping]
- CRIME BUDDY: Losers targeted.
- Oh, good, he found some losers.
- We're the losers!
- [laser zapping] - [metal dings]
- Thanks, Billy.
You know what? Let's just stand up to this Tin Man.
Hey, Metal Head! You're goin' down.
- [lasers zapping]
- CRIME BUDDY: [powering down]
You have defeated the Crime Buddy.
- BILLY & NORA: Yes!
- CRIME BUDDY: [powering up] Just kidding!
You are dumb as well as weak.
- BILLY & NORA: [screaming]
- I can't wait to see
how Billy and Nora did while we were gone.
- Yeah, I bet they're givin' that Crime Buddy the business.
- HANK: Mm-hm. [laughs]
- CRIME BUDDY: Prepare to be destroyed.
- Let go of my babies!
[electrical zapping]
- Your challenge is accepted, Shocker Mom.
- They're not scared of you.
But I am. [whooshing]
- [laser zaps] - HANK: Hey!
My mom made that coat rack out of the first tree I flew into.
- CRIME BUDDY: Get a tissue, Mama's Boy.
- Oh, ho, ho, that's it. You're outta here.
- [lasers zapping]
- [plaster thudding]
- BARB: Are you guys okay?
- Yeah. - We're fine.
- I'm gonna call the Hero League right now
to tell them their robot malfunctioned.
- Does "malfunction" mean
Nora and I set it to meanie-weanie?
- No, Billy, it doesn't.
- You upped the level?
- We told you guys you weren't ready.
- And we believe you--
now.
- We just wanted to show you
we're mature superheroes, not little kids.
- Well, mature heroes understand that they don't know everything.
If you wanna fight crime, take one step at a time.
- Oh, you are on fire! - Right!
- We understand.
- Good, because your next step is cleaning up this house.
- NORA & BILLY: Awww...
- Don't "awww" me.
How do you think Gam-Gam's gonna feel
when she sees her busted coat rack?
- That was the best year of my life--
aside from the dolphin attack.
So...
- [whispering] Oh, finally.
- [grunts]
- Why doesn't he go to sleep?
If my life was this bad, I'd sleep all the time.
- Come on, Mr. Snuggly-Poo,
let's go get in our matching jammies.
- Please let me wake up from this nightmare.
- Gotta close ya up.
Can't take any chances after Chesterfield ran away.
[talking baby talk]
- Okay, we've gotta come up with a plan.
- You come up with a plan.
My powers don't even work anymore.
All I'm good for now is eating pizza
and watching everyone I love leave me.
- Okay, that's it!
Really?
Max, I know this break-up was hard on you,
but there will be plenty of other girls
who will be happy to date you.
- Phoebe, you don't get it.
Allison can't be replaced by some random stranger.
She's my first real girlfriend.
She really understood me.
- Wow, Max. I had no idea.
Look, I'm sorry. I just...
Look, I was afraid that if you didn't snap out of this now,
that you'd be a sad sack forever.
A lot of people let break-ups ruin their lives.
- BRADFORD: [whistling]
The truth is, Mr. Snuggly-Poo,
getting dumped by Valerie ruined my life.
Now, 20 years later, I live in a queen-sized locker.
- Wow, I can't believe one break-up
turned him into that.
- Yeah. Are you gonna let this break-up with Allison
do the same to you?
- ¶
- Outta my way, delinquents!
And show some respect for Principal Maxford.
Ow! Who's throwin' oranges?!
I hate this school.
This break-up won't break me.
Phoebe, distract Bradford so I can grab Colosso.
- Right. Uh...
- [powers whooshing] - [garbage can clattering]
- What was that?
Oh, the lunch lady better not still be
livin' in the teachers' lounge.
This school's not big enough for the both of us, Gladys!
- Hey, buddy, we're here to rescue you.
- Oh, thanks, Max.
Does this mean you want me to put on the wig?
- What wig?
- [girly voice] You'll find out.
- BRADFORD: I hear you talking, Gladys!
If you wanna live in this school,
become the principal!
- Phoebe's in trouble.
[blowing frosty air]
- BRADFORD: [thudding]
- PHOEBE: Thanks, Max.
Hey, your powers are back to normal.
- Hey, let's talk about that at home.
- Right.
- BRADFORD: No. Ah.
Mr. Snuggly-Poo's gone. [sobbing]
He was all I had.
- [squeaking]
Chesterfield?
You came home to Papa Tad.
- He's best friends with a rat.
[laughing]
- It's so good to have you back.
- ¶