- Let's see--Trigonometry, World History, Biology.
- You've got a lot of homework tonight.
- Phoebe, this is homework I'm not doing.
[laughs] - [locker door slams]
- GIDEON: Max, Phoebe, save me!
- Save you? Why would you ask us?
We don't have any powers anymore.
Why? What have you heard?
- Can I at least use your bodies as shields?
- From what?
- BRADFORD: Gideon! - Principal Bradford.
He's mad because I complained
to the School Board about his new shorts.
- What's wrong with his shorts?
Oh! He should always wear pants.
- Ewww...
- Where are you, Gideon?
I've got a dodgeball with your name on it.
- Bradford being temporary gym teacher's a bad idea.
Of course, Bradford being principal's also a bad idea.
- ¶ Oh, Gideon... ¶
¶ Come out to play-ay ¶
- Gideon, I know standing up for yourself is hard,
'cause you're such a 'fraidy cat.
- Forget it. I'll hide in here.
- [locker door slams]
- Gideon, are you in your locker?
- GIDEON: Don't worry,
I've got water rations in here to last a week.
- You may have won this round, Gideon.
But you still have to face me tomorrow in gym.
- Hey!
When's your leg day workout, 'bro?
- [chuckling]
Your question is your first mistake.
Every day is leg day.
- Is he gone? - No, not yet.
- [locker door slams] - GIDEON: Ow!
- Phoebe, what are you doing?
- I have a plan.
- I'm way ahead of ya.
Gonna cut back on cardio, start focusing on the glutes.
- Max, a superhero's job isn't just to save people, right?
It's to help people save themselves.
So, that's what we're gonna do for Gideon.
- Okay, okay. I'm just figuring out excuses
to get outta this.
- PHOEBE: [sighs]
Relax. You're not even gonna have to do anything.
This baby is gonna do all the work for us.
- And how is Hiddenville's ugliest bracelet gonna help?
- Max, you gave me this bracelet.
- As a joke.
- Yeah, well, Gideon doesn't know
that this is just an ordinary bracelet.
Watch.
Hey, Gideon, come on out.
Here, take my hand.
- GIDEON: Oh!
- Gideon, I have something to give you.
This is a special bracelet
that always used to give me a little bit of extra strength
when I was a superhero.
I think it'll do the same for you.
- Wow, I kind of feel stronger.
Do I look stronger? - PHOEBE: Hm?
- How come you're not answering?
Has my strength rendered you speechless?
- The point is now you'll be able to face
Bradford's dodgeballs without fear tomorrow.
- Thanks, Boo. - No problem, just-a-friend.
- Do you really think that bracelet's gonna work?
- Hey, it was either that
or give him the ugly shirt you're wearing.
- You gave me this shirt.
- Yeah. As a joke.
- ¶
- All right, guys, I want a clean match,
or time out for everybody.
- [whistle shrills]
- NORA & BILLY: Rock, paper, laser, shoot!
- [laser zapping] - Ow!
I've got a good feeling about this next round.
- NORA & BILLY: Rock, paper, laser, shoot!
- [laser zapping] - Ow!
I've got a good feeling about this next round.
- NORA & BILLY: Rock, paper, laser, shoo--
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Absolutely not.
- Yeah, you guys have broken enough stuff
around this house with that game.
- That's not true.
We've broken stuff outside the house, too.
- No more rock, paper, laser.
Sorry, guys, but them's the rules.
- Mmm, that's also the name of the movie we're about to see.
"Them's the Rules" starring Vin Diesel
as Jebediah Rules.
- "A frontier dentist
who always bites off more than he can chew."
- They lost me after...
all of those words.
- We're gonna be late.
Uh, kids, we ordered you a pizza.
- Thunder couple, away!
- [loud thud]
- [plaster splattering]
- There they go...
they're doing a loop...
lost them in a cloud...
and we are officially free to keep playing.
- Game on!
- Okay. But I've got a good feeling about this next round.
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Alert! Alert!
Pizza Delivery approaching.
- NORA & BILLY: Rock, paper, laser, shoot!
- [laser zapping] - [monitor sizzling]
- Rock, paper, later...
[whooshing]
- BOTH: This is bad.
- Jinx. You owe me a new thunder monitor.
Seriously, if you have an extra one,
this is the time to speak up.
- [electrical zapping]
- All right, gym rats, I know what you're all thinking.
- That your shorts got shorter!
- STUDENTS: [laughing]
- No, you're thinking,
what's he got behind the sheet?
- The rest of your shorts?
- No!
I give you the Dodgenovski 3000!
[chuckling]
They use this to train Russian dodgeball players.
I use it to hurt people.
- That looks really expensive.
- It was.
PS, class trip to DC has been cancelled.
- You think his mother never hugged him or...?
- Now, who should I try it on?
Let's see, which one of you
called the School Board on me?
About my shorts?
Gideon, get over here!
- Phoebe, take as long as you need to mourn me.
But I want you to move on.
- Remember, Gideon, that bracelet will give you
all the strength you need to get through this.
- The bracelet gives me strength,
the bracelet gives me strength,
the bracelet gives me strength.
- Watch, Max, he's goin' out there, not backing down.
It's the first step in Gideon standing up for himself.
- What's step two? Picking up his spleen medicine?
- Gideon, this is for my legs.
They deserve to be seen.
- [contraption fires] - [dodgeball bounces]
- Aw, shoot, I forgot to turn on the laser sight.
- The red dot's on me, isn't it?
- Not with the bracelet. Believe!
- [contraption fires] - [dodgeball bounces]
- See? It's working. - No, I'm working.
- [contraption fires] - [dodgeball bounces]
- Max, you're taking this too far.
You should stop before something bad happens.
- [contraption whines]
[contraption fires] - [dodgeball bounces]
- This bracelet gave me superpowers!
- Oh, you mean like that. - Yeah, like that.
- ¶
¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Livin' our lives with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you never guessed ¶
¶ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ Look closer, you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Livin' a double life ¶¶
- Max, it's all your fault.
- Hey! Don't blame me for something I did.
- I just wanted to help Gideon's confidence by lying to him,
not make him think he has superpowers.
- And I didn't wanna do any of this.
But you were all, blah, blah, blah,
help people help themselves. - PHOEBE: [sighs]
Okay, Max, just please do me a favor
and don't use your telekinesis on him anymore.
- He's a smart guy.
I'm sure by now, he realizes
he doesn't actually have superpowers.
- GIDEON: Behold, my superpowers!
- What I meant was he's not going to do anything stupid.
- With my power bracelet, I can flip off this ledge
without breaking a single super-bone.
- What I meant was--
- Stop predicting things.
- PHOEBE: [powers whooshing]
- STUDENTS: [gasping]
- What was I supposed to do? He was gonna hurt himself.
- Well, yeah, but it was gonna be funny.
- We've gotta get that bracelet back,
or Gideon's gonna keep thinking he has superpowers,
and put himself in danger.
Hey, Gideon, um, look, about that bracelet--
- It's incredible!
Ever since I put it on,
I've been able to do all these amazing things.
- I'm so glad you like it.
Now give it back.
- Are you kidding me?
This thing's never coming off.
I glued it to my wrist.
- He does the same thing to his underwear
to keep from gettin' wedgies.
- No way I'm losing my superpowers now.
- Okay, but Gideon, powers can be dangerous, okay?
You should leave that stuff to the real superheroes.
- I guess you're right.
Which is why I will become a real superhero.
- Yeah, that's a good joke.
Oh, please be a joke.
- From now on, call me "The Giddler,"
watching over the city from the rooftops.
- You're gonna be "The Giddler on the Roof"?
- MAX: [laughs]
- But, Gideon, you could get seriously hurt.
- I feel no pain.
Giddler, away!
- Well, the good news is his confidence level
is at an all-time high.
- Yeah? The bad news?
- He's probably gonna fall off the roof.
- The thunder monitor's been broken for a day
and you're just calling me now?
- Well, I fixed it, but Nora has concerns.
President Kickbutt, did you do something new with your hair?
- We have to fix this
before Mom and Dad come home and see it.
Do you think you can help us?
- Don't ask me, ask my jingle.
¶ When you're in a hurry, don't you worry ¶
¶ Call the Furry Fix-It ¶
- Are you done?
- ¶ If it's broken, I'm not jokin' ¶
¶ I will come and fix it ¶
¶ F-i-x-i-t ¶
¶ I will fix it ¶¶ [sustained]
- So, can you fix it?
- [sighing]
Let's just talk about my price.
- What do you want?
- All I can eat Italian gelato.
- Deal.
- Kids, we're home.
- Oh, no, we can't let Mom and Dad come in the living room.
- [back door closes]
- Hey, Mom and Dad!
Uh, I thought you guys just went to go see a movie.
- "Them's the Rules"
was sold out for the second day in a row.
There must be somewhere in the world where we can see it.
- Well, let's ask the thunder monitor.
Thunder monitor-- - No, don't go in there!
- What? Why not?
- Because...you guys don't need to go see a movie,
when Billy and I can act it out right here for you,
not in the living room.
- Yeah, we've read all of the books.
Our story begins with a man named Jebediah.
- Kids, I don't think-- - Shhhh!
It's starting. It's starting.
- Jebediah, you may have filled the cavity in my tooth,
but you will never fill the cavity in this town's heart.
- Why would a dentist put braces on a talking horse?
- Because the aliens told him to, Barb.
Pay attention.
- COLOSSO: And done!
- Was that Colosso? - Yep.
Anyway, they all lived happily ever after.
The end. - Oh, no, no, no, no!
That can't be the end.
Did the talking horse find its floss?
Did Abraham Lincoln find his toothbrush?
- Guess you'll have to read the books.
- Oh, great idea. Barb, to the library!
- [door closes] - Let's go check on Colosso.
- Colosso, you fixed it.
- That's right. Now, everybody...
- ALL: ¶ F-i-x-i-t ¶
¶ I will fix... ¶
¶ It ¶¶ [sustained]
- [electrical zapping]
- Oh, that was exhausting.
We spent all day trying to keep the Giddler on the Roof
from becoming the Pancake on the Sidewalk.
- My hand is so sore from using telekinesis.
Ow! Tele-cramp!
[blowing frosty air]
- Okay, at least we have time to catch our breath
since Gideon never misses his Hip Hop dance class.
- Gideon takes Hip Hop dance class?
- He teaches it.
Okay, we've gotta come up with a plan
to get that bracelet back without Gideon knowing.
- [scoffs] If I were still evil,
I'd just rip it right off his dainty wrist.
- Wait a sec.
Max, that's it!
- You want me to go back to being evil?
Colosso's gonna be so happy.
- We should just disguise ourselves as supervillains,
and steal the bracelet off his wrist.
- I'm in.
If I get to pick out the villain outfits.
- Sure. Just don't make me look ridiculous.
[squeaks] Ow! Tele-cramp!
- Too late. You look totally ridi--
- [blowing frosty air] - Ow! Tele-cramp!
- BOTH: [blowing frosty air]
- Colosso, that's your 7th bowl of gelato.
- Oh, are we stating the obvious?
Here's one--
lasers always win, dummy.
- Is that true, Nora?
- Uh...
I'm so glad the thunder monitor's fixed.
- [monitor beeping]
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Party Mode."
- [loud dance music playing]
¶
- That's weird.
Thunder monitor, turn off.
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Alert! Alert!
- [noisemaker tooting]
- Colosso, it's still broken.
- Uh...who's up for a dance party?
- You know I am.
Party over here!
- [loud dance music continues playing]
- [record scratches]
- Colosso, you said you fixed it.
- There's a perfectly good explanation for that.
¶ Here's my motto, I just wanted gelato ¶
¶ I never really fixed it ¶¶
- [monitor beeping]
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Heavy Metal Mode."
- [heavy metal music playing]
¶
- What's goin' on?
- This is my kind of music, baby!
- Thunder monitor, stop the music!
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Heat Mode."
- [electrical hum]
- My gelato--it's melting.
Melting!
- Don't worry. I'll save it.
See ya. [whooshing]
- COLOSSO: No-o-o-o-o!
- Remember, we know nothing.
- Why is this happening?
- Yeah, why "is" this happening?
- Why's the thunder monitor doing that?
- Yeah, why "is" the thunder monitor doing that?
- Why are you repeating everything we're saying?
- Yeah, why "is" we repeating everything you're saying?
- ¶
- You haven't even thanked me for picking out the outfits.
- Who are we even supposed to be?
- The Evil Snorkeler and the Evil Donut.
- Okay, so you just took a costume
and added the word "evil" to it?
- It's not just for the costumes.
It works for anything.
See? Uh...
the "evil" hockey stick,
"evil" basketball,
"evil" look you're givin' me right now.
- Okay, if Gideon got our anonymous tip,
he'll be here any minute
looking for two equipment-stealing villains.
So, let's just grab something.
- Stop right there, evil-doers.
- He looks like a super-booger.
- Put down those sporting goods,
or feel my wrath.
- [fake British accent] Uh-oh, looks like our plan
is under water. [chuckles]
- You do sound ridiculous.
- [high-pitched] "Donut" try to stop us,
or we will sprinkle you with kicks.
- Go, go, Giddler!
- You're no match for the evil-- - Cheese string!
- MAX & PHOEBE: [gasping]
- MAX: Evil disguises was your idea.
- PHOEBE: Oh! Oh! - MAX: Get off me!
- I caught the villains.
Now to alert the school principal.
Giddy-up!
- [fake British accent] Foiled by the Giddler.
Now there's only one way-- - Relax! We failed.
- PHOEBE & MAX: [grunting]
- Stupid donut goggles!
Stupid goggles goggles!
- Hey, if you break those, I will never get my deposit back
from Pacific Joe's Scuba and Donut Shack.
- Focus on getting the bracelet back, okay?
Gideon just defeated two "supervillains".
Who knows what kind of danger he's gonna put himself in next.
- BRADFORD: This better be good, Gideon!
- Quick, our disguises! - BOTH: [powers whooshing]
- I can't believe what I'm seeing--
which is a gym full of nothing.
There's no villains here, Gideon!
- Ugh, his after school shorts are even shorter.
- Hm, my Giddy sense is telling me
they're no longer there,
so, they must be...
somewhere.
- Hm, well, my Bradford sense is saying--
you're an idiot!
- All right, let's get back into our disguises
and go down there and steal that bracelet before they leave.
Okay, it might take a while.
- ¶
- Hurry up and fix it, Hank. I'm sweating.
- Oh, you're sweating?
My body is crying.
- [monitor beeping]
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Howler Monkey Mode."
- [high-pitched screeching]
- Why is this even a mode? - [monitor beeping]
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Yodel Mode."
- MAN: ¶ Yodel-ay-ee-ay ¶
¶ Yodel-ay-ee-oh ¶
- Ahhhh! Bring back the howler monkey!
- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Activating "Wind Mode."
- [wind gusting]
- Hank, what is wrong with the thunder monitor?!
I can't take this anymore!
- Sorry, Barb, I can't fix it,
if I don't know what's broken!
This is our life now! - [wind continues gusting]
- Billy, we have to end this!
- But I just got my kite going!
- [wind continues gusting]
- Mom, Dad, we broke the thunder monitor
playing "Rock, Paper, Laser!"
- You lasered it?!
- Are you yelling because of the noise,
or because you're incredibly mad at us?!
- [wind continues gusting]
- I can't believe you kids!
- Hank, we'll...we'll ground them later!
They told you what happened! Just fix it!
- They probably lasered the circuit board,
probably, and hit the breaker,
and then crossed it with this thing, and...
- BARB: Oh!
- ALL: [laughing, cheering]
- NORA: All right, Dad!
- Thank goodness the thunder monitor's fixed.
Now back to your punishment.
- Remember what Jebediah said.
"If your young'uns break the thunder monitor,
you show 'em mercy."
- Oh, my gosh, Barb, they made it all up!
- I knew Billy reading a book was too good to be true.
- The villains are here. I know it.
- That's right. Keep looking...
so you won't see this comin'.
- MAX: Ready to roll.
- Okay, we're gonna need to very carefully
lower each other down and--
- Ah! Tele-cramp! - PHOEBE: [gasps]
- [heavy thud]
- Yes! I told you they were somewhere.
Go, go, Giddler, again!
- [dramatic music]
- What? No! You can't take my power bracelet!
- I'm the Evil Snorkeler. I can do anything.
- [high-pitched voice] You stay outta this!
- Yeah. No. Totally.
I'm not stickin' my neck out for him.
- Ah! My arm hair!
- I've got it, Evil Donut. Let's go!
- Give me back my girlfriend's bracelet!
- [high-pitched] I'm pretty sure you guys never really dated.
- BRADFORD: Gideon, you're gonna pay for this!
- Oh, Phoebe, wait!
- Oh, I know what you're gonna say and you're right.
We should go back to help Gideon.
- No. I was gonna say I need to take these flippers off
so I can run faster.
- You saw Bradford.
He's gonna shoot Gideon with dodgeballs any minute.
- Oh, curse your jelly-filled logic!
- Let's go before he gets Boston-creamed.
- Turn it off. - I can't.
- Any last words?
- Yeah! Enough!
I'm not scared of you.
- Look, Gideon's finally standing up for himself.
- I may have lost my power bracelet,
but it left me with another power--
self-confidence!
- [laughing]
You're the worst!
- The point is...
I'll never take back what I said about your shorts.
They're gross and weird.
- [gasping]
Then you leave me no choice.
Dodgenovski, fire! - [contraption fires]
- GIDEON: [groans]
- Ooh, that dodgeball is a part of him now.
- But, Max, look!
- [grunts]
I caught it...
which means you're out!
- BRADFORD: [yelping]
[laughing]
You missed!
Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.
Ahhhhhh! - [contraption fires]
- BRADFORD: Oh!
- Ahhhhhhh! - Oh! Oh!
My legs! - [contraption fires]
- Oh! My beautiful legs!
- [contraption firing repeatedly]
- Oh, my legs! [sobbing]
- Oh, I've got to get in on this.
- Me, too.
- BRADFORD: Oh! Oh, no!
- [dodgeballs thudding]
- BRADFORD: Oh! Oh!
Where are all these balls coming from!
- GIDEON: [laughing]
- BRADFORD: Oh, please!
- ¶