- ¶
- What's up, Phoebe? - Shhh, quiet.
I'm hiding from Gideon.
- Oh, sorry. [laughs]
Why are you hiding from Gideon?!
[smacks face] Ow.
- Gideon is out of control these days.
He's constantly asking me out,
calling me "Boo,"
or "Boo Bear,"
or "Boo Brontosaurus Rex."
- He can't possibly be worse than Sarah.
Ever since I stopped dating Allison,
she won't leave me alone.
So, I had to break out this.
- [guitar strings twang]
- Chloe's make-up mirror?
- Yes.
Back when I had a band
and dreamed of being a rock star,
I was gonna use it to avoid crazy fans.
Now, I use it to avoid my craziest fan of all.
- Hey, Max! - MAX: [gasps]
- You have a crazy fan?
That must be so annoying.
Anyway, I got you this little beehive.
- Oh, I get it, Sarah--
because you're Max's honey.
- Did he say that?!
Did you say that? [laughs]
- [bees buzzing]
- Are there bees in that thing?
- Oops! Looks like there were
a couple of little guys left in there.
- MAX: Eeee!
- SARAH: Come back, my honey!
Sting me, instead!
- Oh, man, maybe Max does have it worse than me.
- Boo! - PHOEBE: [screams]
- Get it? 'Cause I'm your "Boo."
- I get it.
Just don't want it.
- Well, you didn't like that,
but you are going to love the boolloons.
- The what?
And it's my turn to hide in my locker.
- Thanks, guys, for coming along
and helping me drop off Nora at super camp.
I feel bad that I sat on her bunkmate, the invisible kid.
- Why didn't I ever get to go to camp?
- You did. You burnt the place down.
- BARB: Where is it?!
- I can't be sure,
but I think Mom's looking for something.
- Oh, no, Barb, did Chloe lose her blanket again?
- I'll go ask her where she left it.
- Are you mad, child?!
You know how attached she is to that thing.
- Yeah, last time it went missing,
she teleported everything out of the house
to try to find it.
- Including my slide.
I had to use the stairs like an animal.
- I'm gonna go hide my homework.
- Where do I hide them, Phoebe?
- Barb, we panic every time Chloe loses that blanket.
Maybe there's another way we can handle this.
- No, when she's ready to give up
the blanket, she will.
Now make with the muscles and lift up the couch.
Oh! Found it!
- CHLOE: [whooshing] Found what?
- The...kitchen...
which is where we should go into
so I can make you a snack.
- Chloe is never gonna get over that blanket
as long as your Mom keeps finding it for her.
But Daddy knows exactly what to do.
- Leave it alone and let Mom handle it?
- Oh, thunderchild, I have so much to teach you.
- [electric guitar playing heavy rock]
- COLOSSO: Play it, Max!
Oh, I'm a hippie! Oh!
This is the greatest day of my life!
- [heavy rock continues]
[rock music flourish]
- COLOSSO: Woo!
- Well, this is weird.
- What? There's nothing weird about this.
- Take my underwear!
- Okay, now it's weird.
- Gideon and Sarah are completely in love with us,
and your solution is to play video games?
- This is the closest I'll get
to living out my rock star dream--
going on world tours,
staying in fancy hotel rooms,
having adoring fans.
- Hey, about that--can I have my underwear back?
I feel a draft.
- Next time, keep 'em on your butt.
- Could you focus, Max?
We have to fix our Gideon and Sarah problem.
- That's a school problem.
We're home now. We're safe.
- Really?
Thunder monitor, show us the door cams.
- Does she have a tent?
- Yep, and he's stringing up a hammock.
We're not safe at school,
we're not safe at home.
This has to stop. - You're right.
If we let them sleep through the night,
then we attack in the morning!
- No. I have a better plan. - Let's do it.
- You haven't heard the plan. - Let's not do it.
- Okay...
we're gonna set Gideon and Sarah up with each other.
If they hit it off, they'll forget all about us.
- Oh...
now that is a really good idea.
Colosso, give her the deluxe, super fan treatment.
- COLOSSO: Right!
- A simple thank you would have been fine.
- ¶
¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Livin' our lives with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you never guessed ¶
¶ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ Look closer, you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Livin' a double life ¶¶
- ¶
- All right, I texted Sarah to meet me over at table seven.
- Okay, good, I just texted Gideon
to meet me at table seven--
although, it is a school night, so they might not show up.
- Max! It's honey time!
- They live on our porch.
Do you think school would stop 'em?
- I'm sorry, Sarah, but I need this table.
I'm meeting Phoebe.
- Well, I'm meeting Max.
- I know what's happening.
Me and Phoebe and you and Max
are having a double date!
- See?
I knew sleeping on his porch would work!
- Right, they're sitting together.
Now what?
- Now we call the Love Doctor.
Brrring! Brrring! What?
I have to take this.
Yes, this is Phoebe, the Love Doctor.
- No one's enjoying this.
- Just watch. They're perfect for each other.
We just need to create the right mood
for them to realize it.
Here, first step, flowers.
- Somebody ordered your table
the Splatty Romance Package.
- I bet Max set this up.
He's so romantic, don't you think?
- All I think about is Phoebe.
Achoo! - Ew!
- Did you forget he's allergic to everything?
- Yes, I did.
- Achoo! Achoo! - SARAH: Ah!
- Ring! Ring!
Hello, this is Dr. Better-Than-Phoebe,
and I am ready to operate.
- [glove snaps sharply]
- Didn't that sting? - Worth it.
- ¶
- Okay. Now before your Mom gets back,
it's up to us to fix Chloe's blanket problem.
- Just to be clear--
we're talking about Khloe Kardashian, right?
- No. Chloe, your sister.
- Not as high profile, but I'll still help.
- First, we hide her blanket.
Next, we tell her it's missing.
She'll get upset, but...
she'll get over it.
- Then we'll fix this Khloe Kardashian thing.
- Sure.
Chloe?
- [whooshing] Hey, Daddy.
- Honey, take a seat.
We've got some bad news.
Your blanket... is gone.
- What?
- Your blanket's gone and you have to deal with it!
- Uh, settle down, Billy.
Honey...
I know you're sad,
but you'll always have it in your heart.
- I thought it was in the cupboard.
- HANK: Mmmmm!
What Billy means is you'll always keep it
in the cupboard in your heart.
But it is time to move on.
- I miss my blankie.
- She still looks pretty sad.
Should I yell at her again?
- No.
This is all part of the process.
She'll be completely over it in...20 minutes.
- I...miss...my...
blankie-e-e-e-e!
- Let's get that blanket back.
- HANK: Good idea.
- Blankie!
- HANK: [gasps] It's gone!
- What's gone?
- Oh, ho, ho...
my bad mood, now that you've returned, sweetie.
[kisses]
- CHLOE: I... miss...my...
blankie-e-e-e-e!
- Oh, no! It happened again?
- Yes, because we--
- ¶ We don't know where it is ¶
Why don't you go look for it upstairs?
A blanket doesn't just walk away.
Somebody had to have taken it.
- It bet it was Colosso--
because he's always up to something,
and he's snuggling it over there.
- It's so soft.
I've been looking for you my whole life.
Oh...
- Colosso, get your bunny butt off Chloe's blanket.
- Oh? This is Chloe's?
Ah! That changes nothing!
[evil laughter]
- Quick, Billy, run after him and get Chloe's blanket.
- BILLY: [zooming]
Just to be clear--
are we talking about Khloe Kardashian?
- [silently] No.
- ¶
- Fresh clams? - Fresh from where?
- You ask too many questions.
- Oh, good, the lovebird's flying back to the nest.
- The police said it's only been 20 minutes,
so, it's too soon to declare Max missing.
- Okay, I just hacked into the tubes
to send them a romantic, heart-shaped pizza.
- [tube "pops," pizza splats]
- Did you order this pizza shaped like a butt?
- No, I...I didn't order any of this stuff.
I'm done waiting here for Phoebe.
I'm gonna go wait at her house.
- I'm gonna go get my bloodhound, Watson.
He'll track Max down.
He always does.
- Max, they're leaving. Do something.
- They can't leave, if they can't find the door.
[powers whooshing]
- MRS. WONG: Whoa! - [objects scattering]
- PHOEBE: Max, turn the lights back on.
- My dumpster clams!
I mean...
ocean clams.
- Phoebe, look!
- You caught me.
- I did.
And you didn't comment on my sweaty palms.
- I like a moist hand.
- I like how you smell like pimple cream.
- Hey, I've got movie tickets for me and Max.
Do you wanna go, instead? - Sure.
I've spent so much time in Phoebe's locker,
I'm happy to go anywhere.
- I think they're going on a date.
- Yep, thanks to my plan.
- Moist hands was not your plan.
- Still worked. - Hmmm...
- ¶
- Hand over the blanket, Colosso.
- What are you guys scared of--
a little girl?
- Yes...
and little girl's mother.
- Sorry, but you know the old saying--
finders keepers, losers...
get outta my face!
- Oh, yeah?
Well, whoever smelt it, dealt it.
That's all I've got.
- I'm taking back that blanket.
- [electrical zapping] - HANK: [gasping]
You electrified your cage?
- Colosso, you have a problem.
- You're right.
Stealing a little girl's blanket.
What's wrong with me?
Sorry, I'll turn the cage off.
- [switch clicks]
- [electrical zapping] - BILLY: [gasping]
- This is the kind of fun we're gonna have now, blankie.
[chuckling]
- ¶
- STUDENTS: [mixed comments]
- Okay, we're here ten seconds
and no bees, boolloons or bloodhounds.
- Surprise!
I baked you cookies.
I ate some of them
because I've been in here since last night.
- Oh, Gideon! So sweet!
I love locker food.
- Max, I think we did it.
- We sure did.
- Hey, Phoebe, I'm sorry to break your heart,
but I went out with Sarah last night.
- And, Max, in case you were wondering,
I'm the Sarah he's talking about.
- Oh, no! I...have feelings of sadness now.
- Phoebe, you're still young.
You'll meet another stud muffin
who's outta your league.
- Yeah. Yeah. I'm heartbroken.
So, when are you going on your second date?
- I'm taking Gideon to meet my uncle
at his band's concert tonight
at the Hiddenville Colosseum.
- Huh, Sugar Ray's playing the Colosseum tonight.
Wait! Is your uncle in Sugar Ray?
- Yeah, Mark McGrath.
He's a rock star. No big deal.
- Oh, I thought your uncle was Mark McGrath the janitor.
- I'm a custodial engineer.
- Who knows? Maybe if you become my boyfriend,
Uncle Mark will let you come on tour with us this summer.
- Wait. Wait.
So, Gideon's gonna get to live the rock star dream?
- Hope so. Come on, babe.
- She's talking to you.
- Oh.
I'm "babe"?
I'm someone's babe!
- Max, we're free! Do you hear me?!
Free! Woo!
[laughing]
Why aren't you twirling?
- I'm...twirling on the inside.
- Okay, good, for a second there,
I thought you were gonna try to become Sarah's boyfriend
so you could go on that world tour.
- What? I would never do that.
- Okay. Good.
I'm gonna go enjoy having Gideon out of my life.
[squeals]
- And I'm gonna go get Sarah back into mine.
Woo! [laughs]
Twirling's a lot more fun than I thought.
- ¶
- S'up, Sarah?
I'm, uh, ready to be your boyfriend.
[laughs]
Oh, what's that?
Kiss you in front of your rock star uncle?
Huh. It's a little weird, but, okay.
[smooching mirror]
- What's up? - MAX: [gasps]
[self-conscious laugh]
I was just cleaning the mirror with my face.
- [mirror squeaking]
- Anyway, goodbye.
- Hold on, mirror kisser.
[powers whooshing]
That your disguise bag? - No.
- It says "Disguise Bag."
- Actually, it says...
Dis...guy's...bag,
'cause it belongs to dis guy.
- You're gonna sneak into that concert
and try to make Sarah fall for you,
just so her uncle will take you on that world tour.
- Okay, fine!
Just 'cause I have to live out my rock star dream--
private jets, backstage passes,
all you can eat shrimp. [laughs]
You know how much this guy loves shrimp.
- Max, you cannot mess with
Gideon and Sarah's relationship like that.
- It's not even a relationship.
They went on one date that we tricked them into.
So, I'm not letting you stand in my way
of dating the girl that I can't stand.
- Well, I'm not gonna let you leave.
- MAX: [powers whooshing] - PHOEBE: Whoa!
Ow! Max! Ow!
Unless you do that.
- ¶
- CHLOE: [whooshing]
- I know it's been a whole day
since we lost your blanket,
but please stop teleporting things away.
- CHLOE: [whooshing]
It's not under the table.
- BARB: [groans]
- That new blanket looks just like Chloe's.
There is no way
she's gonna be able to tell the difference.
Chloe, we found your blanket!
- Blankie!
- Oh, thank goodness. Where was it?
- Oh, it doesn't matter,
just as long as Chloe's happy.
- [sniffing] Do you think I'm a fool?
- We were hoping you were.
- This blanket's a fake!
- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it looks just like the one that we took from you.
- What? - What?
- Goose!
- [electrical zapping] - [heavy thud]
- Hank, start talking...
- You look beautiful today.
- ...about the blanket.
- Okay, I know where it is,
but you are not gonna believe it.
- Colosso has it? - Yes, dear.
- COLOSSO: Ah, you guys are just in time
to watch my snuggle party.
Snuggle. Snuggle. Snuggle. Snuggle.
- Colosso, give us back that blanket,
or I'll take it from you, myself.
- Barb, I already tried, and if Thunder Man
can't open that cage, no one can.
- [electrical zapping] - COLOSSO: [gasping]
Okay!
- Well, no fair. You have electrical powers.
- Here you go, Chloe.
- Blankie!
[sniffing]
Ah, that's the stuff.
- I miss my blankie!
- Calm down, Dr. Bunny.
- Never!
I...miss...my...
blankie-e-e-e-e!
- Whoa, is that what I sounded like?
- Uh, yes, when you weren't teleporting
all our furniture to...
Where is it? - Abu Dhabi.
Blankie made me a monster.
Here, you keep it.
- Oh! Blankie!
I missed your soft touch.
- Chloe, we are so proud of you.
But we're even more proud of...
ourselves! [laughing]
None of this would have happened,
if Billy and I hadn't stolen that blanket.
- Knock it off, Hank. - Yes, dear.
- ¶
- Can you believe my uncle hooked us up
with luxury box seats to his concert?
- Your uncle's so cool.
My uncle lives in our garage.
- It's cool, bro. I'm a roadie.
Yeah, the band asked me to come up here
and see if I could check out the acoustics.
- [tuning fork ringing loudly]
- Oh. No, this is not good.
It could be a while.
Hey, chef bro, you seen a cute redhead?
She's about this tall and this crazy?
- Yeah, if you care about someone,
you should go kiss a mirror.
- Chef bro, you're my sis!
- That's right, Max.
- How'd you beat me here?
- 'Cause I didn't waste an hour
at the Wig Depot.
- I also had to go to the Sleeveless Shirt Shack.
- Okay, well, now you can go away
and leave the happy couple alone.
- I'm not going anywhere
until I win back what's her face.
- Well, then, you leave me no choice.
- [knife blade swooshing]
- Oh!
- Huh! You wanna beef?
You got it.
- PHOEBE: Oh!
That was a veggie burger, you fool!
Whoa!
- GIDEON: A roadie-chef fight?
Is every one of my dreams gonna come true tonight?
- [rock music] - [boot sizzling]
- Ah!
- [rock music continues]
¶
- Oh!
- Nice! Chef won.
- Let me go, Phoebe!
- Not until you listen.
- No, uh, you both need to listen.
- BOTH: Sugar Ray?!
- Well, the band's name's Sugar Ray,
but I'm Mark McGrath.
- BOTH: Oh.
Mark McGrath?!
- Listen, I've toured around the world,
and I've seen a lot of things.
And I see what's going on here.
You ladies are clearly in love with my niece's date.
- PHOEBE: I'm sorry, that's definitely not it.
- MAX: That's not what's happening.
- Buh! Buh! Buh! Don't talk.
Just look.
- This is the best view of the stage.
- Why watch the stage,
when I have a front row seat...to your face?
- Oh...
you just bought yourself a nose kiss.
- MARK: Oh... [laughs]
You can't stop that dorky passion.
- Mark McGrath's right. - Mark McGrath sure is.
- MAX: They really fell for each other.
I can't stand in the way of their nerd love.
- Oh, man, look at this place.
- Yeah. - So sorry about the mess.
- Ah, don't worry about it.
It'll get cleaned up by the other Mark McGrath.
- Maybe you're the other Mark McGrath.
Did you ever think of that?
- All right, let's get outta here
before Gideon and Sarah recognize us.
- Guess it's time to kiss my rock star dreams goodbye.
- Oh, wait, before you go...
I have got something for you.
- Your guitar?
- Better.
- MAX: [gasps]
- Max, it's filled with shrimp.
- How did you know?
- I'm Mark McGrath.
It's what I do.
- ¶