- ¶
- ALL: [laughing]
- Are you guys watching that video of Max eating
that spicy hot wing?
- No, because that video is not funny.
- Ah, sure it is.
You were all like, "Ah, my tongue is melting."
- Actually, we're watching this viral video
of a wimpy survivalist
who totally freaks out over nothing.
- Yeah.
- MAN: The number-one rule to surviving in the wild is--
- [owl hooting]
- MAN: I want my mommy!
- ALL: [laughing]
- He calls his mom mommy, Mommy.
- What kind of loser can't handle one night in the wild?
- Ha-ha!
- It's easy to judge someone from the comfort of your sofa.
- Barb, survival is in the Thunderman blood!
- Please. Max wouldn't last five minutes
in the wilderness without his hairdryer.
- I don't have to.
I'm my own hairdryer.
Ahh-ahh!
[sizzling]
- You're smoking, Max.
- Thank you, Chloe.
- No, no, no, your hair is actually smoking.
- Ah, ah!
Make it stop! Make it stop! Ah, ah!
Freeze spray, freeze spray!
- See? Less outdoorsy, more indoor-sy.
- Less camping, more glamping.
- Yeah, less tough, more...you could never survive in the wild.
- Did you--did they---about us?
- Uh.
Son, I will handle this.
Did you--did they--about us?
- Look, there's no shame in it.
It's just who you guys are.
- Oh, okay.
Thunder Men, we need to prove them wrong.
Tomorrow night, the great outdoors
becomes the great our doors.
[laughs]
I mean, we're going camping.
- ¶
- [phone beeping]
- BOTH: [screams] Did you see this? What?
You go! I'll go!
You go!
- Okay. I'll go.
They're dropping all 12 episodes of the new season
of "Best Chefs Forever" tonight!
- [screams]
This means the chefs survive the exploding the pork roast.
- You and I have to stay up all night and watch
the entire season so that nobody spoils it for us
at school on Monday.
- Girls!
I had a totally brills idea!
- Mom, I thought we talked about you using words like "brills."
- Sorry, I'm just super jazzed!
- Add jazzed to the list. - Yeah.
- Okay, since the boys are going camping,
I planned an old-fashion McBooger girls' night! What?
- BOTH: Tonight?
- It's finally time to introduce Chloe to all the fun traditions
we McBoogers had down on the family farm.
[gasps] Hit it, Chloe!
- Mom, needs some cowbell, baby!
- [cowbell ringing]
- What are we gonna do?
- If we don't watch every single episode tonight,
it'll get spoiled, and our lives will be over.
- I know. One of us is gonna have to tell Mom
we already have plans. - BOTH: You tell her!
No, you tell her! You tell her!
- [laughing]
Oh, there's nothing I would want more in this world
then one night with my girls.
Or maybe a pig or two.
Soiee!
- [cowbell ringing]
- ¶
- Mosquito net? - Check!
- Sleeping bags? - Check!
- Prove to the girls that we have survival skills?
- Oooh, that's a big check!
- Yeah!
How dare they say we're not outdoorsy?
- Yeah! We're outdoors right now.
- Help me with my bag, Dad.
- Oooh! What is in this thing?
Feels like you're carrying a ton of rocks.
- I am.
Whoa!
- Well, I've managed to pack all my survival looks
into only eight bags.
- Hold up, Colosso, you're not coming.
- A bunny can't survive in nature.
- Where do you think bunnies are from?
- France.
- Sorry, Colosso, but this trip is for the Thunder men only.
You understand, right?
- Uh, yeah, totally.
Uh, I was joking.
These suitcases are empty.
- [boing] - Ah!
Uh, this is all still part of the joke.
[nervous laugh]
So are these tears.
- Time to go.
Grab ahold, boys.
Thunder men, off to survive!
- ¶
- Thunder men, we barely survived!
- The bats were in my hair!
My hair!
- And those squirrels stole my jerky!
My jerky!
- Then I saw that scary Sasquatch bathing in the river.
- Yes, that was a Sasquatch.
Uh, I guess we better tell the girls they were right
about us not being able to survive outdoors.
- Dad, we can't tell them that!
We'll never hear the end of it!
Let's just sneak into my lair, hide out,
and return in the morning after a night full of "nature."
- No, I'm not gonna lie to your mom.
- Me neither.
- We can order pizza.
- BOTH: We're in!
- ¶
¶ What you see is not what you get ¶
¶ Living our lives with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ¶
¶ Because we're living our lives just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ¶
¶ But closer you might see the crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make-believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family trying to be normal ¶
¶ And stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Living a double life ¶¶
- [owl hooting]
- MAN: I want my mommy!
- [laughing]
- What a loser!
- Oh, can't handle the wild.
Pathetic.
- [knocking at door] - Ah!
It was all Max's idea, Barb!
- It's just the pizza.
- I know it's the pizza.
[whispers] I did not know it was the pizza.
- Sorry, I'd give you a tip, but I'm camping.
Okay, guys, before we eat, need to cover our tracks
and send the girls proof that we're in the wild.
- Ooh, you can't make me go back there!
- Relax.
All we have to do is stage a photo of us camping.
Dad, remember that picture I sent you
from the Statue of Liberty?
- Remember it?
I made a T-shirt out of it!
- Well, there's something you should know.
- [machine buzzing]
- [gasps] I've been wearing a lie.
- Does this mean you weren't at the running of the bulls?
- [machine buzzes]
- Max, watch out!
- As your father, I am very disappointed!
But as a partner in a lie, I say, take us to the forest.
- [machine beeps]
- Say, "Surviving!"
- ALL: Surviving!
- [camera clicks]
- Howdy-do!
Gather round, farm girls, and let's get in the McBooger spirit
with some hay facials,
a little jug band music. - [guitar plays]
- And...
- Please say watching "Best Chefs Forever."
- Pin the tail on the alpaca!
- What's an alpaca?
- Oh, uh, it's kinda like a fluffy dog that spits.
- Mom's family raised alpacas on their farm.
- Not to brag, but we were the most respected
alpaca breeders in the tristate area.
- Were there many alpaca breeders in the tristate area?
- No, just us.
- Howdy-do!
Hey, got room for one more farm girl?
- Sorry, Colosso, but this is reserved
for McBooger girls only, so get to hopping.
- Uh, yeah, totally.
[laughing] I was just joking.
I didn't want to hang out with you guys.
[laughing]
Another Colosso joke scores.
[laughing]
- I have an idea. Follow my lead.
Hey, Mom, why don't you take the first hay mask?
- Well, I did work my buns off setting this thing up.
- Yeah, you sure did.
Now hit the hay. - Oh!
- And stay as cool as a cucumber
while you listen to the calming sounds of the farm.
- [rooster crowing]
- Ah, isn't this nice?
Just us McBooger gals bonding?
- Yep. - You said it.
- Whatcha watching? - Sssh.
- Girls!
No phones on the farm.
Now, as we used to say back home,
alpaca these up for later.
- Uh, "alpaca these up for later."
That's so funny, Mom. Isn't that so funny, Nora?
- That is so funny, Phoebe.
- Okay, she's gone. Plan B.
You keep Farmer Barb busy while I go down to Max's lair
and watch "Best Chefs Forever" on his computer.
- Wait, I don't get to watch "Best Chefs Forever"?
- I'll tell you what happens.
Ow!
Fine, we'll take turns.
- This is what it's all about, boys.
Back to basics.
[burps]
- Nice!
- You ever stop to think...
a burp is like a memory of the meal you just ate?
- That's pretty deep, Billy.
- COMPUTER: Alert, alert.
Phoebe Thunderman approaching.
- I didn't know the Thunder Monitor had a baby.
- No, it's a mini Thunder Monitor to alert me
every time Phoebe's coming.
- It doesn't warn you when we come down here, does it?
- Uh...quick, hide!
- Looks like Mom turned this place into a pigsty,
am I right?
Oh, wait, I'm alone.
And now, a recipe for friendship with a dollop of intrigue
and a dash of drama!
[humming]
¶ These girls know a bit about a boilie base ¶
¶ But they also know a thing about cracking a case ¶
¶ It's cooking time, they're fighting crime ¶
¶ Sticking together ¶
¶ Boom, Best Chefs Forever ¶
¶ Best Chefs Forever ¶
¶ Oh, yeah ¶¶
- ¶
- Alright, well, who's ready for a little jug band jamboree?
- Me! - Me.
- Okay. You know, back in the day,
the McBooger barnyard band was considered
the most respected jug band in the tristate area?
- Were there many jug bands in the tristate area?
- No, just us.
Hope Phoebe's okay.
She's been gone awhile.
- She better be back soon, because it's my turn to...
go to the outhouse.
- Alright, go ahead, tell Phoebe to hurry back.
She is not gonna wanna miss me jamming out on my spoons.
Hit me with some cowbell, Chloe!
- First I gotta hit this dirt juice.
Ah, that's farm fresh.
- ¶
- Brr, getting cold just watching the chefs
locked in that Little Tokyo meat freezer.
- NORA: [whispers] Phoebe.
- [whispers] Get out of here. This is my spot.
- I'm in here.
- Ahhh! - Ah!
Quick question.
Have you ever tasted a glass of goopy dirt juice?
- Ew, no.
- Well I have!
Which means it's your turn to McBooger sit.
- But Chef Brielle and Chef Brianne
are about to cater a ninja wedding.
Just stay down here, and we'll finish the episode together.
- Okay. Give me the headphones.
- Hey! They're mine.
Go find Max's. They're probably under his bed.
- Ew!
Feels like I touched a rotten jack-o-lantern.
Got 'em!
- That was close.
We're finally safe.
- Hey, guys! - Ah!
- Colosso, you're not gonna rat us out, are you?
- I'm no rat.
- We know. You're a bunny.
What is wrong with this guy?
- I'm here to help.
Barb's coming down here.
- She is?
- Yeah. You better hide in the slide
so she doesn't find out you aren't camping.
Go now!
Go, go, go!
- BARB: Girls! - COLOSSO: Hurry!
[laughs]
- [electricity zapping]
- No! - No!
- I can't believe you two.
- Mom, we can explain.
- Explain what?
That you pretended to go to the outhouse so you could
sneak down here and avoid my girls' night?
- Oh, so you're all caught up.
- Well, don't worry.
There will never be another McBooger's girls' night.
- Wait, Mom!
- Oh, hold on a second. They might come back.
- Thanks for having our backs, buddy.
Wait, how did you know Mom was coming?
- Well, because I called her down to get revenge on the girls
for not including me in their night.
- Ha, that's funny.
Wait, we left you out of our night, too.
- I know.
Revenge!
[evil laughing]
- ¶
- Colosso!
Let us out of here, you traitor!
- You can't yell!
You have to sweet talk him.
Hey, Colosso!
Let us out, you fashionable traitor.
- You guys are wasting your time.
Nobody can hear us.
- Well, then I'll have to punch our way out!
- Dad, no! - [bang]
- Ow! - [loud ringing]
- I tried to tell you.
I sealed this entire place in Thunder-tanium.
There's literally no way out.
- What? Why would you do that?
- Well, back in my evil days, I was gonna trap you
and sell you to Dark Mayhem.
I don't wanna bore you with details.
- The girls think we're out camping.
It could be days before anyone finds us.
- Well, hey, Colosso can never just leave us here.
I'm sure he feels terrible,
and he's gonna let us out any second.
- ¶ They're fighting crime ¶
¶ Sticking together ¶
¶ Best Chefs Forever ¶
¶ Best Chefs Forev-ever ¶
¶ Oh, yeah ¶¶
Ah, good stuff.
- ¶
- Wow, we really broke Mom's heart.
- Yeah, I've never seen her do that before.
- [thunder rumbling]
- Whatever you did to Mommy, you better fix it!
- [thunder rumbles]
- Chloe's right.
We were so worried about our show being spoiled,
we ended up spoiling Mom's special night.
- Let's get out there, apologize,
and give her a big hug.
- [thunder rumbling] - ALL: Ah!
- Alright, new plan.
We are gonna give her the best girls' night
in the history of the McBoogers!
Boy, that is an unfortunate last name.
- ¶
- I'm so cold and hungry.
- [growling]
- What was that?
- My stomach. I said I was hungry.
- The girls were right.
We're no better than that whiny survivalist.
- You're right.
But maybe that's a good thing.
- What do you mean?
- I mean, all the best stuff is inside.
Like the couch, and the TV.
- Ooh, and the refrigerator.
- And the Grand Canyon!
- No, but I like your passion.
My point is, we should be proud of who we are.
We're not outdoorsmen.
We're indoorsmen.
- BOTH: Yeah!
- And we will survive this slide!
- BOTH: Yeah!
- Because it's indoors! - BOTH: Yeah!
- Now, does anyone have a plan to get us out of here?
- BOTH: No!
- ¶
- Come look, Mommy.
- Chloe, I already told you, McBooger night's a McBust.
- You sure about that?
- BOTH: Howdy-do!
- What's going on?
- We behaved like a couple of cow patties,
so we're giving you the McBooger girls' night
of your dreams.
- ALPACA: [vocalizes]
- A real alpaca?
Girls, you don't have to pretend anymore.
I know you don't wanna do my girls' night.
- Just enjoy the jug band sounds of the Thunder Gals!
- ¶
¶ Well, there ain't no jugging if we don't have Barb ¶
¶ No, there ain't no jugging, though she worked so hard ¶
¶ With her family and her ap making sweet, sweet music ¶
¶ Family and her ap like there's nothing to it ¶
¶ A country girl at heart, a McBooger through and through ¶
¶ Looks, smart, lightning power too ¶
¶ With her family and her heart, and her family pride ¶
¶ With her children and her husband always by her side ¶¶
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- I don't think she liked the song.
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- Girls, is this a wild alpaca?
- Uh, we don't know.
Colosso helped us find it.
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- Oh yeah, this baby's wild alright.
And that's what you get for leaving me out of girls' night.
- It's a girls' night!
Not a 48-year-old rabbit night!
- [gasps] You told them my age!
Enjoy your alpaca-lypse!
[evil laughing]
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- I should go.
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- Me, too!
Later.
- Girls, take cover!
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- [glass shattering]
- We should be safe from the raging alpaca
as long as she's not a spitter!
- [water spraying]
- I think she's a spitter.
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- Phoebe, freeze that fluffy beast!
- No! No, I'll handle it!
I was the best alpaca barker in the tristate area.
- Where there many? - Actually, yes.
They taught it at the high school.
[growling]
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- Okay.
She wants to hear an apology from all of us.
- Are you sure? - Just do it.
- [clears throat]
- GIRLS: [growling]
- No, like you mean it.
- GIRLS: [growling]
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- There, there, little friend.
- Oh, Mom, that was beyond impressive.
- We are beyond sorry.
We never should have put our show above your girls' night.
- We know how important they are to you.
- Well, it's not the activities I look forward to.
I'd be happy doing anything
as long as I'm doing it with my girls.
- Best McBooger night ever!
- Aw!
You know, after you clean up this mess, I think I know
a way we can spend the next 12 hours together.
- ¶
- Can't believe she gave her the last piece of wedding sushi
even though she knew it had the antidote.
- That's what Best Chefs Forever do for each other.
- That was the worst show I've ever seen.
But I love hanging out with you guys.
- Hey! Didn't boys use to live here?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, they aren't home yet.
I guess they actually made it through the night.
- Yeah, we were awfully hard on them.
Maybe they are survivors after all.
- Think again!
- [machine beeps]
- We're free!
- [laughing]
The refrigerator! Mwah!
- [heavy breathing]
The couch!
- The Thunder Monitor!
I met your baby.
- Wait, you guys were in the slide all night?
- Correction.
We were surviving in the slide all night,
'cause we're Thunder men.
- ¶ Thunder men, Thunder men, Thunder men ¶
- We were attacked by a wild alpaca in our own home,
and that's still the weirdest thing we've seen.
- Well, I hope you all learned a valuable lesson
for leaving me out of your plans.
- We did, buddy.
And I know exactly how to make it feel like you were
part of all of our nights.
- ¶
- Very funny, Max!
Ha-ha-ha!
Joke's over!
- ALPACA: [vocalizing] - Hm?
Is the alpaca in here?
Take it easy, buddy!
- ALPACA: [vocalizing]
- I want my mommy!
- ¶
¶¶