- ¶
- What's the emergency? Did King Crab escape?
Did Dark Mayhem escape? Who escaped?
- Nobody. We need your money so we can buy cookies.
- Oh...
well, it's a good thing I left
in the middle of getting my cavity filled!
- Sweet Gam Gam Cookies is holding a contest.
- Oh, I love Sweet Gam Gam.
Her peanut butter- fudge cookies
are the reason I have that cavity.
- If you find the winning box,
you get to visit Sweet Gam Gam's Cookie Palace.
- Yeah, she invented a microchip cookie
that can be programmed with any flavor.
- We can finally taste
the Billy Thunderman Super Chocolate Chunk Surprise.
- What's the surprise?
- Cat food!
- Billy, I don't think you should be
at the helm of this ship.
Oh, one box, please?
- One box? Pffft! You'll never win.
- [confetti explodes] - [musical fanfare]
- Ha! I won!
"Congratulations on winning Sweet Gam Gam's Cookie Contest.
I look forward to sweeting you."
[laughing]
She said "sweeting" instead of "meeting."
- You're the worst, Phoebe.
- Oh, I get to take someone with me.
- You're still the worst, Phoebe.
But please take me with you.
- ¶
- The kids should be home soon.
- I wonder if one of them won that cookie contest?
- I'm the only choice! - Take me!
- Take me to the Cookie Palace!
- Take me with you!
- Stop!
I will pick one of you. Just give me a second.
- You heard her. Give her some time.
Time's up!
- I'm the one going! - Take me!
- Take me to the Cookie Palace!
- Every day with those four.
- [gasps] Barb, look at this!
The Little Mini Metroburg Pageant is coming up.
- Oh, Hank, I'm flattered.
But I'm not exactly pageant ready.
- Not you. Chloe.
- What's a pageant?
- Well, it's a little contest to see who the cutest,
most talented superkid is.
- Little contest? [chuckling]
Maybe for a simple farm girl.
But for this stylish city boy, it was everything.
- Next up, ready to dazzle us
with a flying ribbon routine,
Little Hank Thunderman!
- AUDIENCE: [applauding]
- [pageant music playing]
- BIG HANK: Everything started out great.
- ¶
- AUDIENCE: [gasping]
- ¶
- BIG HANK: My ribbon routine was hot--
maybe a little too hot.
- Fire! Fire!
All these superheroes and nobody has water powers?
- Everyone made it out alive that day--
except my dreams of pageant glory.
- Your father never competed
or shook what his mama gave him again.
- I couldn't. They banned me.
But they didn't ban you!
- I'm in, Daddy!
- Oh, this will be great for you two to do together.
Hey, let's go change, so we can get started.
- [chuckling] Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!
- LITTLE HANK: Not for fun, Hank.
It's war.
- We're gonna do this for you, Little Hank.
- I know you will, Big Hank.
Also, your fly is down.
Gotcha!
- BOTH: Yo, ho, ho!
- ¶
- What are you doin'?
- Ah, just practicing my surprise face
for when Phoebe chooses me.
Should I go with the, oh, I'm so honored to win.
Oh, my gosh!
Or the...
Ha! Yes! In your faces!
- Hey, guys.
- My twin! How are ya, dear?
- Freaked out. Anyway...
after some careful consideration,
I have decided that each of you should convince me
why I should take you.
- Oh! Oh! I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
- Get lost.
- [banana zooming]
- Missed me!
- [banana thuds] - Ow!
The old second banana trick.
- All right, Max, you start.
Why should you get to try the microchip cookie?
- Because if you don't choose me,
I'll release that picture I have of you
picking at your supersuit wedgie.
- You don't have a picture like that.
- Or do I? Pick me like you picked that wedgie.
- I did not!
All right. Now, Nora. Why should I pick you?
- We're sisters, which automatically puts me
ahead of these dingdongs.
But if you choose one of them,
I'll laser off your left eyebrow.
- Oh, no, that's the good one.
- For now.
- Yikes!
Okay, Billy, what about you?
- Look, Sweet Gam Gam is my heroine.
I'd love to try that microchip cookie,
but I can't compete with Max and Nora.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, Max is your twin brother,
and Nora is your sister from another mister.
- Actually, we're from the same mister.
- What I'm trying to say is you and I don't really hang out.
So, you should probably take one of them.
- Wow, Billy,
that's absolutely true.
Okay, Phoebe, who's it gonna be?
Me or Nora? - Ohhhh...
It's a lot to think about.
Um...
I've decided I'm taking...
Billy! - MAX & NORA: What?!
- COLOSSO: Gotcha!
Could I have my hats back, please?
- ¶
¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Livin' our lives with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you never guessed ¶
¶ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ Look closer, you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Livin' a double life ¶¶
- ¶
- Wow, you're really choosing me?
- Yeah, you're really choosing him?
- Hat attack!
[chuckling]
- What a day!
I'm going to Sweet Gam Gam's
and I caught a hat with my face.
- I warned you, Phoebe.
Now I'm releasing that wedgie picture.
- Okay, there is no picture...
because a lady never picks.
- They don't?
I mean, everybody knows that.
- Billy's right. We don't hang out enough.
This is a great time to bond with my little bro.
- Sorry, I missed that.
I was too busy barfing in my mouth.
- All right, you two need to let this go.
I'm taking Billy and that's tough cookies.
[laughing]
I made my point and I said "cookies."
- I can't believe this.
You know, if Phoebe and Billy are gonna hang out,
we should hang out, too.
- P-p-p-pass! [laughs]
- Come on, Max.
How else are we gonna break into
Sweet Gam Gam's Cookie Palace to eat that microchip cookie?
- Nora, I'm a candidate for the Z-Force.
I can't do that.
- I get that you're not evil, anymore,
but you don't have to be all "Phoebe" about it.
- Wha-wha-what?
- Never mind. You're probably right.
We should let them eat our cookie
while you go do ballet.
- Phoebe takes ballet.
- Oh, sorry, I get you two confused lately.
- Oh! That's it! We're gettin' that cookie.
And I am nothing like Phoebe.
- You're twins. - Nothing!
- ¶
- Okay, Chloe, we've got until tomorrow
to get you ready for the pageant.
Let's work on your thunder wave.
Spin the lightbulb,
wipe the window,
and face.
- I've been waving all wrong.
- You sure have, honey. But Daddy's gonna fix it.
Now, first, we've gotta figure out
what talent you wanna showcase.
- How about my tele-handsprings?
[whooshing]
Ta-da!
- Oh, it's like you inherited my looks and my talent.
Oh. Now, for you to win this thing,
you have to be able to answer questions under pressure.
- What if I don't know what to say?
- Easy. The answer is always "world peace."
Now crowds eat that up.
Now, I'm gonna spin you to simulate how nervous
and disoriented you'll be on stage. Ready?
Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, up!
Young lady, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
- World peace?
[tiny thud] - [gasps]
Very good, Chloe. You didn't land on your face.
- Daddy, pageants are a lot of work.
- It'll all be worth it
when they hand that trophy to me.
- Don't you mean me?
- Uh...
World peace?
- ¶
- [gasping]
- Welcome to the Cookie Palace.
Sweet Gam Gam will be with you soon.
- Thanks again for choosing me, Phoebe.
I thought you were gonna bring your boyfriend Link.
- Wow, we really don't hang out.
- MAN ANNOUNCING: And now, introducing
the Countess of Cookies,
the Duchess of Deliciousness,
Sweet Gam Gam!
- Sweet Gam Gam, in the house!
- It's really you.
I've eaten so many of your cookies,
I feel like we know each other.
- Oh, we do.
Just kidding.
I've never seen you before in my life.
- Sweet Gam Gam, your Cookie Palace is amazing.
I love all of these inventions.
- The milk and cookies t-shirt.
I wanna wear it.
- I wanna eat it.
- And this is my shrink wrap ray.
- [ray gun blasting]
- It keeps cookies fresh for years.
And people, too. I'm 130.
- Sweet Gam Gam, is this the microchip cookie?
- No, that's the microchip cookie.
- Is it true you only made one?
- Yes.
- And it can be programmed to taste like anything?
- Yes.
- Can I lick the glass? - No.
You can taste it after we have a dip in my pool.
- [gasps] The cookie dough swimming pool?
That's real?
- Oh, you bet your sweet snicker doodle it is.
- Hey, Gam Gam, did you order a giant bag of chocolate chips?
- I don't know.
I can't even remember the name of this pretty young girl.
- It's Billy and I'm a boy.
- Just leave the bag.
Follow me, my cookie crumbs.
- Oh, this is great.
I'm so glad I chose you, Billy. - Me, too.
- ¶
- [lasers zapping]
- [chocolate chips scattering]
- My plan worked! We're in!
- Yay! Maybe next time add air holes to the bag.
But, yay!
- There it is, Nora-- the cookie of the future.
- It's beautiful.
Smash that glass!
- Calm down.
I'm gonna hack it open.
Once my device finishes deciphering the lock code,
we can remove the glass and eat that cookie.
- You know, Max, I've gotta say
hanging out with you's been really cool.
- Oh. Yeah.
- Now you say something nice about me.
- Oh, um...
Boop! [laughs]
What? It's the best I can come up with.
- [pageant music playing] - Pop the hip, Chloe.
It's a sassy walk, not a gassy walk.
- Is this better?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
Watch.
- [pageant music playing]
- See? Fierce! Confident!
Pageantry!
Now you keep on practicing
while I see where Colosso is with your dress.
Barb, she's at a three. I need her at an eight.
- Oh, you're working so hard, sweetie.
Are you excited for the pageant?
- Daddy is.
- And what about you?
- Daddy is.
- I worked my paws to the bone on this,
but I'm pretty proud of how it came out.
- This isn't a dress.
It's a diaper dipped in who cares?
- Keep it together, Colosso. Don't let him see you cry.
- Hank, can I have a word with you?
- Oh, sure, honey. Make it sparkle, bunny.
What's up, Barb?
The pageant's in two hours
and Chloe's hair's a three-hour problem.
- I wanted to talk to you about Chloe.
I'm worried she may not be as into the pageant as you are.
- Oh, that's crazy.
I mean, look how much fun she's having
practicing her sassy walk.
- [tiny thud]
Pageantry!
- See? Time of her life.
- I don't know.
- Trust me, Barb. She's lovin' it.
And she's gonna love her new hair.
The bigger the hair, the bigger the trophy!
- Only one more number stands between us
and tasting history.
- [gadget beeps]
- [lock clicks] - BOTH: We're in!
- Oh, ho, ho. It's magnificent.
- And it smells like a laptop dipped in sugar.
- Now to program the flavor.
- [gadget beeping]
- How about chocolate turkey wasabi?
- Ooh, it'll be like a Japanese Thanksgiving in our mouths.
- [gadget beeping]
- SWEET GAM GAM's VOICE: Downloading deliciousness.
- Now watch the door and make sure someone isn't coming.
- I don't have to go to the bathroom.
- Just try. You don't wanna be the guy who peed
in the cookie dough pool.
I'll just wait out here with Max and Nora.
Max and Nora!
- Well, Japanese Thanksgiving's been ruined.
- Phoebe, I know what you're thinking.
- That you're a terrible cheat
who's about to steal the cookie we won?
- Yeah, that's pretty much it.
- I can't believe you two.
This was supposed to be a beautiful brother-sister day.
- It is-- for me and Dora.
- Nora! - Nora!
- Max, come on, put that down.
- Or what? - Or this...
[blowing frosty air]
[blowing fiery air]
Thank you!
- [lasers zapping]
- She froze me and stole the cookie, didn't she?
- Sure did. You looked real dumb.
- Come on, let's go.
- [powers whooshing] - Whoa!
- Ha! Ha! Now she looks dumb.
[laughing]
- [zooming] Got it!
- [lasers zapping]
- [ray gun blasting]
- Well, I guess that "wraps" that up.
[blows air]
- You're not funny, Phoebe. - Yes, she is.
And she's also not dating Link anymore.
- Don't worry, once we put this cookie back,
we'll free you two so you can leave
before you get in trouble with Sweet Gam Gam.
- What in the cinnamon spice is going on here?
- Oh, Sweet Gam Gam, we can explain.
- Save it, cookie thieves!
It's time to kick some butterscotch!
- ¶
- Hi-ya!
- Is that 130-year-old lady
kicking the sprinkles out of them?
- She sure is. We should probably help.
Hit 'em harder, Gam Gam! Ha! Ha!
- How about a round of applause
for the talented Mitzi Blizzardberg.
- AUDIENCE: [applauding]
- There's no business like snow business.
[blows snow kisses]
- Show off.
- The girl is eight, Hank. - I know.
What's that geezer even doing in this competition?
- Now our next contestant is Chloe Thunderman!
- AUDIENCE: [applauding]
- Now it's time for the question and answer segment.
So, Chloe, if you had any superpower,
what would that be?
- World peace!
- Well, the good news is no one in the audience
is gonna be hungry later.
- Why is that?
- Because they are eating this up!
- Now, a follow up question.
If you could just have one wish, what would that be?
- I wish I had a magical unicorn.
That poops world peace.
- [chuckling] That's my daughter!
- Now, Chloe, tell us what you're gonna be doing
in the talent round coming up.
- Oooh, I can't wait for everyone to see
her tele-handsprings!
- Well, for some reason, she decided to do my ribbon dance.
- [pageant music playing]
¶
- Hank, look at her. She is not having fun.
- Ah, this is not supposed to be fun, Barb.
This is war.
- Uh, Big Hank?
- Oh, good, Little Hank. I saved you a seat.
- The lady's right-- Chloe's miserable out there
trying to make our dream come true.
- Uh-huh, I think "miserable" is a little strong,
don't you think?
- Pageantry.
- Okay, I see it.
What have I done?
- Nothing that can't be undone, big guy.
I'll be at the snack bar.
- That is one wise imaginary boy.
- Were you talking to Little Hank?
- No, I was listening to him.
Chloe, stop.
I need to accept I lost this pageant all those years ago.
And I shouldn't have made you enter this one.
I'm sorry.
- I forgive you, Daddy.
- Oh, let's go home.
- Wait, there's something you have to do, first.
- Really?
- Let's show 'em how it's done, baby!
- [pageant music playing]
¶
- LITTLE BARB: Do we get to marry that rock star?
- Sure do, Little Barb.
- SWEET GAM GAM: Ya! Ya! Ya!
- [thuds Phoebe]
- Even if we weren't trapped here,
I'd still stay and watch this.
- SWEET GAM GAM: Ya! Ya!
- Turn so I can see.
- Why can't you just call the cops
and take us to prison like a normal grandma?
- Because I want to do this!
Ya!
Hi-ya!
- All right, Nora,
I think I have a plan to get us out of here
and get us that cookie.
- [lasers zapping] And done!
- For the record, that was my plan.
- Oh, come on. What is that for?
- Smacking fools!
Ya! Hi-ya!
Ya!
- Hello, cookie.
You're about to be in my belly soon.
There are a couple of other cookies in there,
but they meant nothing to me.
- Are you gonna eat it or date it?
- Ya!
Hi-ya!
That'll take care of ya now!
- Nora, something about this feels wrong.
- Yeah, you didn't bring any milk.
- No. I mean, Phoebe just wanted to hang out with Billy.
But because of us,
they're both being smooshed by a comically-large spatula.
- Let 'em suffer!
What's wrong with me?
- I think this is why we don't hang out.
We're bad influences on each other.
- You're right.
- PHOEBE: Why does it hurt so bad?
- We should probably save them. - Yeah.
Sweet Gam Gam, wait!
You're flattening the wrong people.
We tried to steal the cookie.
- What the devil's chocolate are you talking about?
- We did it because we were jealous
our brother and sister got to eat it.
You should let them go.
- Your honesty is as refreshing as
a glass of milk after a cookie taco.
- You really have a cookie taco?
- Soft and hard shell.
- Hey, uh, could you discuss this
after you stop squishing our organs?
I'm so sorry, Billy.
This is not how I wanted our day to go.
- Are you kidding? You could have chosen anyone
to get beaten up by Sweet Gam Gam, and you chose me.
- And I'd do it again.
The choosing you, not the massive amounts of pain.
- Aw, I should thank you guys.
I haven't smacked a fool in years.
And it made me feel 90 again!
- Well, Sweet Gam Gam, since we won the contest,
is there any chance we can still try the microchip cookie?
- Yes, and you can download any flavor you want.
- Billy, you should pick the flavor.
- Okay.
- [gadget beeping]
- SWEET GAM GAM's VOICE: Downloading deliciousness.
- [bell dings]
- Okay, everybody, take a piece.
- Guys, this is so good. You have to try it.
- ALL: [crunching]
Bleccch!
Cat food?
- SWEET GAM GAM: [laughing]
That little girl is crazy.
- ¶