- ¶
- All right, we have all day to build my hot tub.
I sent my parents to Sea Land,
home of Flabby, the world's chubbiest whale.
- I heard you could see his blubber from space.
- You're home?!
I mean, yeah, you're home.
[laughs]
- Yeah, 'cause that chubby whale
kept splashing me for no reason.
- Hank, you kept eating all his sardines.
- I thought it was free sushi.
Who's this? - Uh...
this is my new classmate, Wendell.
He just moved here.
- Max, he looks old enough to be my classmate.
Wendell Goldfarb, Metroberg High?
- Hank the Tank! - BOTH: [laughing]
- Oh, okay, the reunion's over. Take five.
- BARB: A hot tub in your lair?
Absolutely not!
- I'm not building a hot tub.
- Hey, Max, is this bikini okay for the hot tub?
- HANK: There's not gonna be one...
and gross!
- So, I should return my other bikinis?
- BARB, HANK, MAX: Yes!
- Max, you can't just do stuff like this
without checking with us, first.
- Hey, if I just checked with you about everything,
I would never have a boat.
- What boat?
- Don't go changing the subject.
- Why do you have to get the mail
before your parents see it?
[gasps] Are you hiding a report card?
Phoebe Thunderman got a bad grade.
- Don't you joke about that, Cherry--
ever!
No, I ordered something
my parents would never let me have.
Oh, it's here!
- Oh, sign here. - Okay.
- Initial here...
and thumbprint here.
- You don't need a retinal scan?
Oh, you do.
- Ooh, what kind of bad, bad things
did you order, Phoebe?
- Peppers.
- Don't throw your life away for--
Wait. Peppers?
- Yeah, I discovered different peppers
do different things to my heat breath.
My parents say the peppers will mess up my powers.
But I say they'll make me
a more awesome superhero.
Here, let's see what the Fijian Face Melter can do.
[crunching]
[clears throat]
- [breathing fiery air]
- Whoa! That was scary and festive!
- I know!
Bad guys won't know whether to scream in fear
or scream, "Happy New Year!"
- But how are you gonna sneak those
past your mom and dad?
- Oh, pffft! It won't be hard.
They're yelling at Max.
When they're focused on him, I'm completely invisible.
- And another thing, that hot tub is dangerous.
- Oh, please, how is a large tub of water
filled with electrical equipment dangerous?
- Water and electricity do not mix!
I play a risky game every day
just taking a shower.
- You know, you guys never let me do anything.
- Oh...
- A hover toilet, a cliff-diving school,
using the animalizer to turn Billy into a T-Rex.
It's always no.
- See? Completely invisible.
- Hey, Phoebe is--
- Don't bring Phoebe into this.
She's not even here.
- But she's--
- The one you should be more like. We know.
- Listen, young man, this is our house,
so, you will follow our rules.
- Fine!
I'm going to my lair.
- I think you mean our lair.
Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
- HANK & BARB: Parents!
- ¶
- Try to hit this fastball, Billy.
[grunts]
Nice pitch, Billy!
- Show yourself, pizza face!
[lasers zapping]
- Come on, Princess Bobo,
save some cookies for the rest of us.
- What a day.
We're playing outside, having a blast,
about to be hit by the Thundervan.
Thundervan?
Wait!
- [whooshing]
- Beep-beep, kids.
- [whooshing]
- Dad, what are you doing?
This driveway is no place for a car.
- Well, the city keeps giving me parking tickets,
so, now I've gotta keep it in the driveway.
- But-- - Hey, don't blame me.
Blame Johnny Law!
- Now we have to find somewhere else to play.
- I know a great place in Madagascar.
[zooming]
- She meant in this country.
- ¶
- All right, Gideon, you're sure no one
saw you come down here with that jackhammer, right?
- Nobody, not even your mom.
Which reminds me,
is she into guys with power tools?
- Remember when you told me I could hit you
when you go too far? - I do.
- [thwacks helmet]
All right, let's do this.
Thanks to my parents' stupid rules,
I need you to help me build my hot tub.
- When I've had enough of my parents,
I go to my Grandpa Giddy's penthouse.
He doesn't have any rules.
- Oh, that sounds awesome.
My grandpa just sends me hand-me-down socks.
These were knitted in World War II.
All right, you're sure the jackhammer
is super-silent, right?
- Yeah, the guy at the hardware store
charged me extra for the silent model.
- [jackhammer thudding]
- I think he lied to me!
- Turn it off!
- What?
- [jackhammer thudding]
[jackhammer stops]
- Uh... [laughs] Gideon!
I told you my parents said no hot tub.
Why would you try to force such luxury on me?
- Gideon, will you give us a minute?
- Barb, I'd give you the whole day.
- [raps helmet]
- Got it. Too far.
- I thought we were clear when we said
no dangerous hot tub in the lair.
- My bikinis need to be seen!
- Dude, not helping.
- Max, we warned you and now you are grounded.
- You can't ground me.
I already live underground.
- Then you are undergrounded.
- But I'm a superhero.
- Superhero or not,
as long as you live under our roof,
you have to follow our rules.
- Well, maybe I shouldn't live under your roof, anymore.
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying...
that I'm moving out.
- No-o-o-o-o-o!
Wait, am I coming with you?
- Definitely not.
- No-o-o-o-o-o!
- ¶
¶ What you see ¶
¶ Is not what you get ¶
¶ Livin' our lives with a secret ¶
¶ We fit right in ¶
¶ Bet you never guessed ¶
¶ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ¶
¶ Just like all the rest ¶
¶ A picture perfect family ¶
¶ Is what we try to be ¶
¶ Look closer, you might see ¶
¶ The crazy things we do ¶
¶ This isn't make believe ¶
¶ It's our reality ¶
¶ Just your average family ¶
¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶
¶ Livin' a double life ¶
- That's right, Hank and Barbara,
you won't have me to kick around
with your stupid rules.
Max Thunderman doesn't live here anymore!
- And just where do you think you're gonna live, Mister?
- I'm moving into Grandpa Giddy's no-rules penthouse.
- You are?
- See? Gideon says it's okay.
- You know what? Move out.
It'll be a good learning experience for ya.
- Yeah, maybe even learn to wash your own underwear.
- I won't need to.
I'll just turn them inside out.
- He'll be back by dinnertime.
- No, I won't.
Because I can take care of myself.
Gideon, help me with my stuff?
Come on, Gideon.
- Sorry about the jackhammer.
- [door slams]
- ¶
- This is awful.
- Yeah, it's a little flakey,
but ice cream will fix that.
Oh, you mean the Max thing, yeah, terrible.
- With Max gone, my parents will be
all up in my business.
All I want is to keep eating my peppers in peace
and unlock their spicy secrets.
[crunching]
[clears throat]
[fiery nostril breath]
- Woo! The Carolina Dragon pepper's a keeper.
- [laughs]
Yep, it'll terrify bad guys and clean out my sinuses.
- CHERRY: [laughs]
- Phoebe? You're flushed.
- Are you feeling okay, honey?
- Oh, what? Um... Yeah, I'm fine.
I was just out in the sun.
- [sighs] This is why we have rules
about wearing sunscreen.
- No. No. - [sunscreen spritzing]
- [sunscreen splooshing]
- Is this what you meant by "in your business"?
- Yeah.
- Whoa, Max really did move out of the lair.
- Yeah, he'll be back for me, though.
He's just getting my room ready.
Who am I kidding?
I'm never gonna see my Maxy again!
[sobbing]
- I can't believe this huge room is gonna be empty.
Anyway, let's go find a place to play.
- Billy, this is where we're gonna play.
- No, you're not!
This is still my room,
so, I'll decide what happens to it.
Now, because I have a big heart--
- And a big booty.
- Let me finish.
I will pick one of you rooty-pooties
to use the lair as your play area.
- But we're used to being together when we play.
- One of you or none of you.
That's my big booty offer.
- All right, let us think about it.
All right, guys, I've thought about it.
It's really more of a huge booty.
- This is about the offer. Keep up, baby.
- If we do it Colosso's way,
at least one of us will get their dream playroom.
- I just hope he doesn't turn it
into some weird competition.
- Hmmm...
- [game show music]
- Who's ready to play...
- AUDIENCE: Share the Lair!
- Everybody hears those voices, right?
- ¶
- This is my favorite room.
This says I am rich
and a little crazy.
- This is amazing!
How can you afford such a cool place?
- Grandpa Giddy used to be a big-time DJ.
- Wait.
You're DJ Partyface?
- You...wiki-wiki... know it.
- Oh, I appreciate you letting me move in here.
- Oh, no problem.
I know how lame parents can be.
Mine are still driving me nuts.
- Wow, they must be like 200.
...times cooler than my parents.
[nervous laughter]
So, uh, Gideon says there are no rules here, huh?
- That's right.
- Buck-aw! Buck-aw! Buck-aw! Buck-aw!
Buck-awwwww!
- [objects clattering]
- You see, I don't even know that chicken.
- Well, this place is almost perfect.
There's only one more thing it needs.
- Huh?
- An ambulance for the chicken?
- A jet engine- powered hot tub!
- Jet engine hot tub?
Oh, that sounds illegal.
I love it!
No rules! [laughing]
- [palm slap]
- Ever since Max left,
my parents haven't given me a minute to breathe.
This is the first chance I've had to eat a pepper.
- Are you sure you won't get caught?
- No, we're good.
I told them I was meeting with my coding club, Bases Coded.
- All right, which one is up next?
- Let's see.
They're gone!
Someone pilfered my peppers.
- HANK: You mean...
these?
- Mom, Dad, what are you doing at Coding Club?
- Drop it, Ms. Missy.
We know you've been eating the peppers,
even though we told you not to.
- Okay, I have, but...
you guys are always telling me to eat my vegetables.
So, which is it?
- Actually, those are mine.
As a kid, they called me "Peter Pepper"
because I loved peppers and looked like a boy.
- No! - [crunching]
Mmmmm! Tastes so--
Ah, Phoebe!
It feels like I swallowed fire!
[screaming]
- Okay, so those weren't hers.
When I eat them, they make my heat breath more awesome.
- Phoebe, you know the rule!
You can't eat spicy peppers. It's too dangerous.
You know, your great- grandmother,
Matilda-Jo Thunderman had heat breath like you.
- One day, she ate chili peppers and burped.
She turned the Mojave Rainforest into the Mojave Desert.
- Why are you guys worrying about me, when Max--
- Max is out in the world
learning you can't fix your problems
by turning them inside out.
- But you are still here,
which means you have to follow our rules.
- Mm-hm, so, say bye-bye to these.
- Well, wait.
Come on, at least leave me the Tokyo Throat Stabber.
[heavy sigh] I've gotta get Max back home.
- CHERRY: Ahhhh, Phoebe!
It feels like it's stabbing my throat!
- Come on. - Ow!
- And with all the extra space the lair has,
I could put up targets just like this
all over the room. - [buzzer rings]
- Well, that ping-pong storm means it's the end
of the Tell Me Your Dumb Idea round.
Now let's continue playing...
- AUDIENCE: Share the Lair!
- Let's begin the Bribe round.
- What's a bribe?
- It's when you three offer me nice stuff,
so I pick you as the winner.
- But that's not right.
- Uh, duh!
Better get those bribes in before it's too late.
- Guys, this is just Colosso
trying to turn us against each other.
And it's working!
I'll give you all my birthday money!
- I'll give you all my tooth fairy money!
[whooshing]
- Hey, how many teeth have you lost?
- Who do I make this check out to?
- Who do you think?
- All right.
"Who Do You Think?"
- Colosso, you do not want to pick Billy's sports room.
- Well, don't pick Nora's room,
unless you like getting zapped.
She's got bad aim.
- How is this for bad aim? [lasers zapping]
- Ow!
See? She was aiming for Chloe.
- If you pick my playroom,
then you can have lots of tea.
- Everyone knows she makes her tea with toilet water.
- I can't reach the sink!
- ALL: [mixed comments]
- Ha. Ha. Isn't she something?
- She reminds me of my fifth wife.
I still can't believe I married a hot tub.
- I don't know. Are you sure about the jet engine?
- Uh, duh!
How else is it gonna be super turbo-charged?
- But what if the fuel leaks into the water?
- Will you quit worrying.
[scoffs] You hear this guy?
- Barely. My hearing aid's not working.
- Isn't jet fuel flammable?
- No rules!
Max can do whatever he wants.
- Hi, guys!
- Oh, come on! Lock a door, people!
- No rules!
Any random can walk in here, when they want.
- You heard Grandpa Giddy.
So, if you're here to prom pose to me,
my answer is yes.
- I'm not here for you.
- Aw. I'm here for you, too, boo.
- You're wearing her down, Gideon.
- Max, you have to come home fast.
Dad threw out his back
trying to pick up a muffin he dropped.
- You're lying. Dad hates muffins.
He calls them "healthy cupcakes."
- [sighing] Okay, fine.
Without you at home,
mom and dad are constantly watching me.
I have no peppers and I am covered in sunblock.
- Well, I'm not goin' back.
Here at Grandpa Giddy's
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.
- Wait. Could I do anything I want here?
I'm never leaving!
- Hey, you need to sign for that.
- Who do you think you are, my mother?
- ¶
- Grandpa Giddy, this place is sick.
- And you haven't seen the best part yet--
the door. Bye!
- Max, Phoebe can hang out here, if she wants.
- Yeah, don't kick out my grandson's prom date.
- We are not going to prom.
- Fine! [sighs]
I guess since you're clearly dating Gideon, you can stay.
- We are not dating!
- Come on, Gideon, it's hot tub time.
Help me find my rubber ducky.
- Grandpa, it's in the rubber ducky room.
- Well, since you've barged in on my pad,
I'm gonna barge in on your peppers.
- Hey, that's my Himalayan Hot Butt.
- Not anymore. No rules!
[crunching]
[fiery fart]
Don't tell anyone you saw that!
- The only thing I see
is this Lithuanian Lava pepper.
You may be outlawed in 17 countries,
but you are welcome in my belly.
[crunching]
[liquid gurgling]
[breathing fiery breath]
- [engine explodes]
- [flames roaring]
- Oh, my beautiful baby!
- Don't worry. I'll put it out.
[breathing fiery air]
- Ah! My beautiful baby, again!
- All right, you try.
Something's wrong with my freeze breath.
- [fiery fart]
Oh, something's wrong with my everything!
- ¶
- Everyone, I've made my decision.
I've used all the bribe money
to build the lucky winner's dream playroom.
- The room is mine!
- In your dreams, fool!
- It's toilet tea time!
- The lucky winner is...me!
Welcome to Colosso World!
- AUDIENCE: [cheering, applauding]
- [game show music]
- Whoever you are, stop cheering for him!
- I don't get it. How did we all lose?
- Because Colosso tricked us into fighting each other,
then stole all our money
so he could build this stupid rabbit shack.
- [bell dinging] - Correct!
Now get out!
- Guys, we should have walked out the second
he said only one of us could win.
- Yeah, what good is the place,
if we can't play by ourselves together?
- Wait. I know something we can do together.
- COLOSSO: Uh...
what are you guys doing?
Why aren't you gone?
- 'Cause we're about to play a new game.
- NORA, BILLY, CHLOE: Trash the Lair!
- [lasers zapping]
- COLOSSO: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Stop! I don't deserve this!
Okay, maybe I do, but stop anyway!
- [lasers zapping]
- COLOSSO: Wizard Bunny, no!
Ah, cut it out!
Oh, we could share the lair!
Oh, no, I bought that in Bombay!
That's an original.
- What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
- Stop asking me what we're gonna do!
- GRANDPA GIDDY: Hey, Max, turn the hot tub down.
It's very hot in here.
- We know. We're working on it.
- If that fire reaches the jet engine,
this entire place is gonna blow up.
- Phoebe, I think you're exaggerating a little.
- [explosion]
- You were saying?
- Oh, there's gotta be something in the fridge
cold enough to get our freeze breath working.
- Oh, yeah.
- BOTH: [spitting milk]
- Oh, mine's chunky.
- It's 'cause it's spoiled.
Grandpa Giddy scratched out the expiration date
and just wrote "No rules!"
- There's gotta be something else cold enough.
The only thing in the freezer are these fish pops.
- What's a fish pop?
- This!
- Oh! - Uh!
Mine's looking at me. - It's so scaly.
- Ah!
Okay, let me try my freeze breath.
[breathing frosty air]
Oh, it's not cold enough. Try yours.
- [fiery fart]
Don't tell anyone about that, either!
- [fire sputtering]
- Max, we're out of time. We've got to evacuate everyone.
- You get the Giddys, I'll save myself.
- What?
- [imitating sirens]
- Grandpa Giddy, you did it.
- Luckily, my grandpa has one rule.
- Always have the fire extinguisher ready
when there are no rules.
- We're sorry we almost blew up
your luxury condo.
- Oh, it's not the first time.
- Phoebe, I'm beginning to wonder whether
mom and dad were right about us needing the rules.
- What tipped you off?
The jet fuel or when you farted fire?
- You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that.
- Wanna go home?
- Yes, please.
I'm out of underwear.
- Mom, Dad, we apologize for not listening to you.
- Well, we're not gonna say we told you so,
we're gonna do this, instead.
- HANK & BARB: Parents!
- From now on, I'll show you designs
for all my dangerous devices.
- Uh, how about you don't design any dangerous devices?
- Fine! But I'm keeping my boat--
that I definitely don't have.
- Well, I'm just glad my babies
finally learned their lesson.
But we do need to know one thing.
How long's he staying here?
- Oh, uh, just long enough for his penthouse
to stop smelling like fish pops and jet fuel.
- Or longer.
No rules! [laughing]
- Buck-aw! Buck-aw! Buck-aw! Buck-aw!
Buck-aw!
- Seriously, who is that chicken?
- ¶