1 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,579 - * 2 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:15,083 - Phoebe, what do you think of my painting of Max? 3 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,487 - Clearly you've never seen Max in a toga. 4 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,422 - I have up here. 5 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,931 - Late again? 6 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,268 - Yeah, I have this thing where I don't care. 7 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,570 - Oh, Max, I meant to ask you. 8 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,539 Which one of your masterpieces 9 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,007 would you like to donate 10 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,842 to tomorrow's school art auction? 11 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,577 - Gosh, Mrs. Matson, I don't know. 12 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,947 There's so many to choose from. - Hmm. 13 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,551 - [mocking] So many to choose from. 14 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,986 - Maybe I'll make a new one. 15 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,788 - Well, whatever it is, Max, I'm sure it will bring in 16 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,957 a lot of money for the school. 17 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,128 Phoebe, when are you going to start your project? 18 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,130 - Um, actually, I just finished it. 19 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:05,133 I call it... "Horse." 20 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,735 -Looks like it was made by a horse. 21 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,872 - Max, funny and talented. 22 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:15,008 And Phoebe... always on time. 23 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,446 - I don't get it. 24 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,748 Why is art so easy for you and so hard for me? 25 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,150 We're twins. 26 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,518 - Let's ask your horse monster. 27 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,388 Throw me in the garbage, Max! 28 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,323 Neighhhh! 29 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,865 - Max! 30 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,401 - I'm sorry, Mrs. Matson, I didn't see it there. 31 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:44,172 - MRS. MATSON: It's beautiful. 32 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,540 - What? - What? 33 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,811 - Even when you fall, you create magic. 34 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,081 Take it in, class. 35 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,250 - I can do that, too, you know. 36 00:01:56,350 --> 00:02:02,556 Hmm... - [splash] 37 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,459 - I call this one 38 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,462 "How much do I owe you for those shoes?" 39 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,268 - * 40 00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:17,271 - WOMAN: * What you see is not what you get * 41 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:20,474 * Living our lives with a secret * 42 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,777 * We fit right in, bet you never guessed * 43 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,947 * Living our lives just like all the rest * 44 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,518 * A picture-perfect family is what we try to be * 45 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:33,921 * Look closer, you might see the crazy things we do * 46 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,957 * This isn't make-believe, it's our reality * 47 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,993 * Just your average family trying to be normal * 48 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,795 * And stay out of trouble 49 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:45,766 * Living a double life 50 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,577 - What? 51 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,078 Another one? 52 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:00,881 - I told you the costume shop was having a sale. 53 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,585 - Not your costume, Colosso. 54 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,120 I just lost another follower on Evilgram. 55 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,257 Why do you think I'm losing so many? 56 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,158 - 'Cause moving here made you soft. 57 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,660 You used to post pics of yourself 58 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,528 firing rockets at satellites. 59 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,698 Now you're just waiting for me to sit on a whoopee cushion. 60 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,000 - [farting sound] 61 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,536 - [laughs] That's funny-- I gotta post that. 62 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,937 - No, you don't. 63 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,376 Hi-yaaaah! 64 00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:31,144 Waaaaaa... 65 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:34,715 I just saved you from losing more followers! 66 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,149 - You're right. 67 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,486 I gotta get my edge back. 68 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,322 Let's get a picture of me taking out a satellite. 69 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,023 - COLOSSO: Attaboy. 70 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,527 - [laughs] 71 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,062 - Now what are we going to do next time? 72 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,067 - Take the selfie before I light the fuse. 73 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,537 - Yes, grasshopper. 74 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,345 - Oh... you found the art supplies. 75 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,582 - Yeah, weird, they were in the back of the garage 76 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:12,320 under the power tools in this box labeled "Keep Out." 77 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,487 - Uhh... - Really? 78 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,088 - Weird! - Anyway... 79 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,325 now with a little hard work, my art can earn 80 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,226 more money at the auction than Max's. 81 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,594 - That's the spirit, Phoebe! 82 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,330 Keep reaching for the stars! 83 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,198 Just don't paint them. - [laughs] 84 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,000 - Hey, hey, you two--let's... 85 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,336 - I'm sorry. 86 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,004 It's just she keep ruining the refrigerator for me. 87 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,445 - Nothing can ruin the refrigerator for you, Dad. 88 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,352 - Listen, we're gonna support Phoebe, all right? 89 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,754 That's why I signed your dad up to be the auctioneer 90 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,656 at the art fundraiser. 91 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,425 - Why, because I'm loud, boisterous, and in your face? 92 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,726 - Mm-hmm. - [shouting] Sold to my wife 93 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,262 who knows me so well! 94 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:58,265 - [shouting] Why are we yelling? 95 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,869 - That's how auctioneers get people to pay for art. 96 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,372 - You have to get people to pay for Phoebe's art? 97 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,874 - [shouting] You're gonna need a lot more than yelling! 98 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,854 - I see you found the 10-foot-pole 99 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,456 girls won't go near you with. 100 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,692 Whoa! 101 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,828 - No, I'm going to vault myself into the Hiddenville Zoo 102 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,464 and then recruit a gorilla army. 103 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,000 I'll have my Evilgram followers back by midnight. 104 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,969 - [crash] 105 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,406 - Ooh... 106 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:41,108 Mom's gonna be mad at you for that! 107 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,846 - And you're gonna be mad at me for doing this. 108 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,248 - [crash] - MAX: Ow! 109 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,120 - Come on, Phoebe, you can make something better than Max 110 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,722 for the art auction! 111 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,857 Art powers, activate! 112 00:05:56,957 --> 00:06:02,029 - [classical music] 113 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,956 - I've done it! 114 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:32,025 I knew if I just put my heart into it, I could create... 115 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,027 Mt. Suckamanjaro. 116 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,499 No one's gonna pay money for this. 117 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,701 They'll be too busy throwing up. 118 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:45,939 - [panting] 119 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,211 I feel like your art project looks. 120 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,614 - Uh, rough night at the zoo? 121 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,918 - Turns out gorillas really like playing 122 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,920 Max in the Middle. 123 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,796 Not giving up yet, Colosso. 124 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:13,233 I will post something devious to prove that I am not going soft. 125 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,736 - Will that be before or after 126 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,806 your lilac-scented bubble bath? 127 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,808 - Oh, I'm sorry, did the gorillas 128 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:24,745 use you as a soccer ball or me? 129 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:28,015 - Max, you've gotta tell me how do you get your art ideas? 130 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,416 Do you think about them? 131 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,584 DO you not think about them? 132 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:34,087 Do you take bubble baths in front of Colosso? 133 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,524 - Phoebe, my artistic brilliance 134 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,358 is not something that can be taught. 135 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:42,295 My art projects come from a place deep within my soul. 136 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,631 - [zooming sound] 137 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:47,367 - Here's your latest art project, Max. 138 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,904 - I think Billy has keys to your soul. 139 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,940 I can't believe you've been using him to fetch art for you 140 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,407 from around the world. 141 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,876 - Actually, I get them from a dumpster 142 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,613 behind the art school across town. 143 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:03,551 - You're not an artist at all--you're a trash man. 144 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,586 - Hey, Billy's a trash man. 145 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,621 I'm the guy that's gonna make more money than you 146 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,056 at the art auction. 147 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,258 - How lazy, how despicable... 148 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:14,595 how quickly can you get me something better than Max's? 149 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,863 - Don't do it, Billy. 150 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,631 - [sighs] Sorry, Phoebe, I work for Max. 151 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,900 - Here's 20 bucks. - Sorry, Max, I work for Phoebe. 152 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,670 - [zooming sound] 153 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,310 - Wow, Max, that's a beautiful painting. 154 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:33,581 It really shows your sweet, sensitive side. 155 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,216 - That's a problem--I'll fix it. 156 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,156 - [scoffs] So you like girls with goatees. 157 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,059 * Noted 158 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,964 - Oh, Phoebe, take Max's vase 159 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,233 over to the masterpiece corner. 160 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,836 - Um, actually, Ms. Matson, I made this. 161 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,438 - Really? It's stunning. 162 00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,240 Well, I take back everything I was saying about you 163 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,610 in the teacher's lounge. - Ha! 164 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:10,217 - You might be giving Max a run for his money. 165 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,954 - Well, I gave somebody money to run. 166 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,723 - [in country accent] Going once, twice, 167 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,458 sold to Principal Bradford! 168 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,194 That's my cowboy auctioneer voice. 169 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,697 [in British accent] I can also do a fancy-pants auctioneer 170 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:27,100 if it pleases the principal. 171 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,902 - It doesn't. 172 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,070 I'll be over there... 173 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,006 talking to the single moms. 174 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:36,076 Joyce, is that a new sweater? 175 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,845 Whaaat? 176 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,116 - Something wrong, Max? 177 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,352 - I'm just losing followers on Evilgram. 178 00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:47,487 - Aww, well, you've got lots of friends. 179 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,891 Sarah likes you. 180 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,762 What's that on her face? 181 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,430 - Whole lot of crazy. 182 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,504 - Thanks for the vase, Billy. 183 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,007 Sorry, Max, guess there's a new fake artist in the family. 184 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,910 - It's dumpster art-- don't be too proud. 185 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,080 - Actually, Phoebe's is from the museum. 186 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,515 Which reminds me, I gotta return it before they close. 187 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,085 - That's a funny joke, Billy. 188 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:21,054 Please tell me that's a joke, Billy. 189 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,156 - You said you wanted something better than Max, 190 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,192 so I went to the Hiddenville Art Museum. 191 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,894 - BOTH: What?! 192 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,162 - Billy, you stole it from the museum? 193 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,298 - Relax, Phoebe, it's not worth much. 194 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,366 The sign said it's priceless. 195 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,075 - [smirking] What's priceless 196 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:45,512 is the look on Phoebe's face right now. 197 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:49,382 - Billy, "priceless" means it's really expensive. 198 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,652 - Where do these words come from? 199 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,487 - We could go to jail for stealing. 200 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,356 We've gotta get it back before the auction starts. 201 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,324 - [gavel raps] 202 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,959 - Let's get this auction started. 203 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,594 - Yee-hoo! 204 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,839 - We can't let anybody buy that vase. 205 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,941 How are we gonna fix this? - We? 206 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,608 This is a you problem, 207 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:18,245 as in you an art thief, girl. 208 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,617 - All right, Billy, it's up to us. 209 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,286 As soon as I get that vase, you take it 210 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,888 and return it to the museum. 211 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,390 - Good evening, parents, students... 212 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,760 Joyce. 213 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,762 I'd like to introduce the only parent 214 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,797 who would agree to be the auctioneer, 215 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,032 Hank Thunderman. - [cheering] 216 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,134 - Ha, that's my wife. [chuckles] 217 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,905 - I'm as surprised as everyone else. 218 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,776 - All right, let's get the evening started with... 219 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,510 - Not the vase, not the vase! 220 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,046 - ...this beautiful vase, 221 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,916 which is made by... Phoebe Thunderman? 222 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:59,319 Is there another Phoebe Thunderman at this school? 223 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,088 - Max, did you help her with that? 224 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,290 - Nope, she stole it from a museum. 225 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,795 - Oh, silly, don't be so jealous. 226 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:11,031 - Okay, let's get the bidding started at $25. 227 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,466 Do I hear $25--$25. 228 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,335 Thank you, ma'am. - This is good. 229 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,637 When Mom buys the vase, we can trick her into giving it to me. 230 00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:20,540 - Fifty dollars. - What? 231 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,409 - Seventy dollars. 232 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,912 My daughter made that vase, so you understand. 233 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,713 - I totally get it. 234 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:29,649 Eighty dollars. 235 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,852 - Oh, it's gonna be like that. 236 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,353 One hundred dollars. 237 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,122 - Okay, could I get $120 238 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,958 from someone I do not share a bank account with. 239 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,996 One-twenty... anyone? 240 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,597 - Yes, over here. 241 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,834 I can't raise my hand. 242 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,401 - Flapping counts. 243 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,636 - Does it, Hank? 244 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:53,006 Does it? 245 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,842 - Well, I mean, according to the auctioneer's handbook-- 246 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,144 - Hank! - Sold to my wife 247 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,479 who is clearly the boss of me. 248 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,149 - [applause] 249 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,919 - Mom, you won my vase. 250 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,320 Here, let me get it wrapped for you. 251 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,989 Take this to the museum-- I'll handle Mom. 252 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:11,224 - Okay. 253 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,426 - [vase shatters] 254 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,196 - Oh, no, my masterpiece. 255 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,998 - Phoebe, what happened? 256 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,732 I don't know--it just slipped, 257 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,701 but I will make you another one, I promise. 258 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,436 In fact, I'll go do that right now. 259 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,938 - Aww, that's too bad. 260 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,307 Yeah... make sure she pays. 261 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,712 - What's going on? 262 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:33,947 Why are you smiling? 263 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,949 - Just taking care of problems. 264 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,887 - I was too late-- the museum's closed. 265 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,521 - Why are you still smiling? 266 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:45,025 - 'Cause my face freezes when I freak out. 267 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,426 - It's okay, Phoebe. 268 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,963 I hear we get pudding in jail. 269 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,899 - No one's going to jail. 270 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,166 We are still gonna return the vase. 271 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,903 We just have to sneak in after hours without permission. 272 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,505 - You mean break in? 273 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,373 - Don't put Max words in my mouth. 274 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,910 You make it sound so... - Evil? 275 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,311 Because it is. 276 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,914 In fact, a break-in selfie is just what I need 277 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,949 to get my followers back on Evilgram. 278 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,919 - Ugh, I'm so gonna regret this, but I could use your help. 279 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,587 Nora, Mom and Dad can't find out that we're... 280 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,690 - ...breaking into a museum. 281 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,192 - Yeah, sure, what he said. 282 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,294 Just keep the auction going until we get back. 283 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,495 - ...from breaking into a museum. 284 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,965 - Stop it! 285 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:30,203 - [suspense music] 286 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,340 - [whistling] 287 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,257 - Okay, we're in. 288 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,524 We just gotta make this quick. 289 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,594 I don't want to know what jail pudding tastes like. 290 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,497 - Phoebe, relax--I disabled the security cameras. 291 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,467 - And I found a free King Tut lollipop. 292 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,802 Mmm... history. 293 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,340 - Art thief action selfie. 294 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,377 - GUARD: [whistling] - Oh, no. 295 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:11,711 - Somebody's coming and we're gonna get caught 296 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,313 and I can't stop smiling again because I'm freaking out. 297 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,415 What are we gonna do? - Phoebe! 298 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,617 Stop smiling and hide! 299 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,627 - [whistling] 300 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,235 - [sighs] This pitcher's getting heavy. 301 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,504 - Technically the Egyptians called that a ewer. 302 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,172 - Technically it's gonna make the same noise 303 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,742 when it hits the floor. 304 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,046 - Hang in there, guys, he'll be gone soon. 305 00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:49,549 - Time for my nightly break. 306 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,019 My nightly dance break. 307 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:55,388 [beatboxing] 308 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,629 - I don't know who looks more ridiculous... 309 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,664 us or him. 310 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,468 I'm gonna go with him. - Yeah, definitely him. 311 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,109 - Okay, folks, we are down to our last item. 312 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,511 - Last item... oh, no. 313 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,380 - Oh, that must be Max's painting. 314 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,748 Where is he, anyway? 315 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:22,782 - With Phoebe. - Where's Phoebe? 316 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,783 - With Billy. - Where's Billy? 317 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:24,817 - With Max. - Where's-- 318 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,287 - Shh... the auction's starting. 319 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,056 - Who wants to start the bidding 320 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,791 on my son's one-of-a-kind... 321 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,461 bearded girl? 322 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,630 Um, who would like to start the bidding at $25. 323 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:38,931 - Twenty-five! 324 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,101 - I've got $25 from the girl I keep telling 325 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,803 to stay out of my yard. 326 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,206 Do I have $30... anyone? 327 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,840 Anybody? 328 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,843 - You gonna bid on Max's painting, Mom? 329 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,814 That? Looks like it came from a dumpster. 330 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,784 - I get it--you love Phoebe the most. 331 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,920 - That's not true. 332 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:03,823 - If only there was a way for you to prove it. 333 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,126 - HANK: Twenty-five going once, going twice... 334 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,660 - [shouting] Twenty-six dollars. 335 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,363 I love my son! 336 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:14,201 - Twenty-seven... I love your son more. 337 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,802 - Twenty-eight dollars. - Twenty-nine. 338 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,504 - Thirty! 339 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,312 - [clang] 340 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,515 - [techno music from headphones] 341 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,955 - This is not the kind of evil I was hoping for. 342 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,390 - I know, all this gold 343 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,127 is giving me a kink in my neck. 344 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,429 - That's what you're thinking about? 345 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,931 - Well, that and I shouldn't care so much 346 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,466 about competing with you. 347 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,967 - Phoebe, it's not a competition. 348 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:50,270 We're on a team-- I'm the captain, 349 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,173 you're the weird bus driver that takes us to away games. 350 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:57,610 - I am not Bus Driver Sally. 351 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,546 - BILLY: Uh-oh, bad news, guys! 352 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,181 - Oh, do you have to go to the bathroom? 353 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,916 - Well, I do now. 354 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,918 I was talking about the guard. 355 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,988 He knows the vase is missing. 356 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,991 - Joe... Joe, you gotta get down here. 357 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,960 The bird vase is missing. 358 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,896 [laughs] No, I wasn't dancing! 359 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,933 - Billy, his back is turned--go now. 360 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,570 - You want me to go to the bathroom in the ewer. 361 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,538 Okay... - PHOEBE: No! 362 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,407 Go put the bird vase back! 363 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,209 - Oh, right. 364 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,847 - Good job, Billy. 365 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,417 Max? 366 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,419 Yeah, I snuck in here, 367 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,189 but don't tell your mummy. 368 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,359 - This isn't happening! 369 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,094 Get back here, Max! 370 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,571 - Wait... 371 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,341 something's not right here, either. 372 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:06,446 - All right, what's going on, Happy Feet? 373 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,948 - I was patrolling, not dancing, 374 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,950 when I noticed the bird vase was gone. 375 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:17,357 - What are you talking about--it's right there. 376 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,226 - [clank echoes from far away] 377 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,964 - You want to explain that? 378 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,371 - I am not a good guard, am I? 379 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,711 - Escape selfie. 380 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,950 - One-hundred and forty. - Hundred and forty-one. 381 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,918 - One-hundred and forty-two. - One-hundred forty-three. 382 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,288 - One-hundred forty-four. - Two hundred dollars. 383 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,790 [gasps] I don't have that much money. 384 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,593 - [gasps] Then I guess ya lose. 385 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,896 - This doesn't have to end, Sarah. 386 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,698 You can borrow money from your parents, 387 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:02,001 skip college, get a small business loan. 388 00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,770 - Or... 389 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,807 I win, suckas! 390 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,477 [laughs maniacally] 391 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,945 - Never bet on crazy. 392 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,448 - Well, that's it, folks. 393 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,617 As they say in the auction game, 394 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,419 I bid you farewell. 395 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,521 - Go home, Hank. 396 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,423 In fact, let's all get out of here. 397 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,792 Joyce, you with me? 398 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,561 Where's Joyce? 399 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,864 I hate this school. 400 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,133 - So you're probably still wondering 401 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,202 where Max, Phoebe, and Billy are. 402 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,870 Don't get mad, but they're-- 403 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:41,040 - They're right here. 404 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,743 - And Phoebe didn't make you a new vase. 405 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,978 Maybe you're right to love Max more. 406 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,348 - [scoffs] Guys, I want to talk to you 407 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,849 about something Nora said. 408 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,652 - Nora's a liar! 409 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,220 - [sighs] 410 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,222 - She's just confused. 411 00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:58,758 I don't love Phoebe more than you. 412 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,728 I love you both equally. 413 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:04,564 - [whispers loudly] I don't think she knows. 414 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,499 - BARB: Knows what? 415 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:12,439 - That we love you... more than Dad? 416 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,342 - Awww... you know, I always suspected it, 417 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,844 but it's just nice to hear. 418 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,178 Shh. 419 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,755 - [phone jingles] - Haha! 420 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,558 Thanks to my museum break-in, my followers are coming back. 421 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,826 - It wasn't a break-in. 422 00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,763 I left admission fees on one of the displays. 423 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:40,032 - You mean the money I took to pay for this ice cream? 424 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,835 - Well, it's fine, 'cause I took the money from you. 425 00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:47,039 I do have one question, though. 426 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,708 Do you have Billy steal your artwork 'cause you're lazy 427 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,543 or 'cause you're just horrible at art like me. 428 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,744 - It's 'cause I'm lazy. 429 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,513 I'm actually really good at art. 430 00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:55,482 Here, check this out. 431 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,452 - Wow, that's amazing. 432 00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:02,522 - Yeah, something I threw together this morning. 433 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,156 - Wait a minute, wasn't that in the museum? 434 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:06,393 - Yes, I'm back! 435 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:16,403 - *