- [* "Jingle Bells" ]
- * Oh, Merry Old Christmas
- Christmas? Again?
Everyone bein' nice, singin' songs,
eatin' figgy pudding.
- Hey, it's still a week away,
so you've got plenty of time to get your figgy on.
- Never. I will fight Christmas as long as I live.
It's the number one supervillain rule,
followed by never help old people.
- Tsk. You can't defeat the spirit of Christmas, Max.
* Merry Old Christmas! [ringing sleigh bells]
- Ho! Ho! Ho!
Nice job, Phoebe.
- You've definitely outdone yourself.
- * Merry Almost-Christmas!
- Okay, we get it.
- Billy's even helping me make sure we have a white Christmas.
- Yep. Check out my snow dance.
Make it snow! Make it snow!
- Make him stop. Make him stop.
- Sorry, Nora, the forecast says no snow
and Billy's awesome dance moves aren't gonna change that.
- But it's our holiday tradition.
It's not a Thunderman Christmas
if we're not all together playing in the snow.
- Don't worry, Nora.
I'm sure it'll still feel just like the holidays.
- Yeah, that's right, but just to help...
I arranged a Secret Santa gift exchange.
Now all you have to do-- - HANK: Ooooh!
- BARB: I like that. - Just do that, I guess.
- NORA: I got Mom! - BARB: I got Max!
- HANK: I got Phoebe!
- Sweet! I got myself.
I can't wait to see what I get me.
- All right, fine, um...
- I got, uh, Dad. - HANK: Oh!
- Which means Max, you got...Nora.
- You're going down, Nora.
- Does anybody wanna switch with me?
Okay.
- You know what, Nora?
I'm gonna keep our family tradition alive.
How does snow from Mount Fuji sound?
[zooming]
It's blizzard time!
The snow turned into water.
It's a Christmas Miracle!
[water splats]
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life
- It's already Christmas Eve, Max,
and you haven't asked me about my mistletoe hat.
- I'm sorry, buddy.
What's this cry for attention about?
- Well, normally, I hate Christmas.
But this year I'm using it as an excuse
to get a smooch from...
your mom!
- Colosso, my mom can't stand you.
- Well, if she kisses your dad,
I've gotta be in the game.
Hey, what's with the old cottage cheese in a box?
- Well, Nora wants a white Christmas.
So I'm givin' her one.
Though it may be green and stinky
by the time she opens it. - COLOSSO: [laughing]
- PHOEBE & BARB: * And a partridge in a pear tree *
- One day, I'm gonna find that tree, chop it down,
and make a partridge/pear pie.
- Max, you're such a Scrooge.
- Oh, Phoebe, you say the sweetest things.
- Oh, Barb, can you help me out?
Something's in my eye.
- Fine. Let me look.
- Uh-oh, look who's under the mistletoe.
You have to kiss me!
- You got me.
Close your eyes.
- * Ready
- [powers zapping] - [yelping]
Playin' hard to get, huh?
Me likey.
- Uh, Dad, what's with the giant block of ice?
- I can't wait to lick it!
- No! No, no, no, no, no. It's not for licking.
It's for... What is it for, Hank?
- Nora was right about keeping
our Thunderman holiday tradition.
All I need to do to make it snow is get this
block of ice up into the pouffy clouds.
- That plan sounds pouffy.
- Don't worry, Dad. I believe in you.
- Thank you, Nora.
Thunderman, away!
- [loud thud] - [plaster shattering]
- Why doesn't he ever use the same hole?
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
That should do it.
- Get ready for snow! - [object whistling]
- [loud thud]
- [sighs] Well, you tried your best, Dad.
You can stop licking it now, Billy.
- [garbled speech] Actually, I can't.
- [* "Deck the Halls" ]
- Oh, stupid Phoebe...
trying to give me the stupid Christmas spirit!
Stay out of my lair!
- PHOEBE: Goodnight. * Merry Christmas Eve
- I tried to stop her, Max.
But Christmas is strong in that one.
- I'm gonna drown out this holiday cheer
with some soothing sounds.
- [tires squealing] - [objects crashing]
- [brakes screeching] - Much better.
- [tires squealing] - [objects smashing]
- [tires squealing] - [brakes screeching]
- [cat yowling]
- You should like totally wake up, Max Thunderman.
- Mom? Dad? Phoebe finally snapped!
- [Valley Girl accent] As if? I'm not "Pheeba"!
I am the Spirit of Christmas Past.
- Go away. - [object clunks]
- How did you do that?
- I told you I'm not "Pheeba."
I've come to show you
that all your lame ideas to ruin Christmas have failed.
Like royally.
- Okay, Spirit of Christmas Past,
exactly when in the past was that outfit cool?
- The '80s, barfbag.
Now, come see how bogus you've been in the past.
- I've always ruined Christmas and I always will.
- You're right. Go back to bed.
Psyche! - [whooshing]
- Hey, this is our old home in Metroburg.
- No duh!
There's you and "Pheeba" with your parents
on your very first Christmas.
It was the first lame gift you tried to give them.
- Merry Christmas, Phoebe. - BABY PHOEBE: [cooing]
- Merry Christmas, Max. - BABY MAX: [sputtering]
Barf! [vomit splattering]
- Oh, I'm good. Direct hit.
Take that, Christmas.
- Keep watching.
- Hank, he said my name.
Max's first word was "Barb!"
- No, no, no, no, no. I said "barf."
- I totally heard "Barb."
- This is the best Christmas gift ever.
- Say what you want, but I still barfed on her.
That Christmas was ruined
just like I ruined every other Christmas.
- Did ya?
- You bet your jingle bells, I did.
- Tsk. Well, let's go scope it out, McFly.
- [whooshing]
- Hey, if you keep doing that,
I'm gonna "Barb" all over you.
Hey, this was our last Christmas in Metroburg--
all because of me.
[spraying saliva from braces] Don't just stand there.
Open your presents.
- Cool! Prehistoric poo.
- Billy, it's a lump of coal.
- Ugh! Gross! Ugh!
- Ha! Merry Christmas, suckers!
[laughing]
What could have gone wrong this time?
I crushed the Christmas spirit so hard,
we had to move.
- Well, you're like sort of right,
but like mostly wrong.
- I have an idea.
Hand me your coal, everyone.
[crushing coal]
[powers zapping]
- ALL: [gasping]
- [spraying saliva from braces] That's the biggest diamond
I've ever seen--we're rich!
- Well, we're not rich, but...
maybe there's enough here for us to retire on
so we can spend more time with the kids!
- We could move to the suburbs
and give them a normal childhood.
I hear Hiddenville is great.
- Oh, it'll be great to get Max away from
all the supervillains here in Metroburg.
- Christmas spirit rules!
Thanks, Max!
- Don't thanks Max. [sputtering saliva]
- BARB, HANK, PHOEBE: Best Christmas ever!
- How is this possible?
- Now do you see how you're like totally wasting your time
trying to kill the Christmas spirit?
It'll always turn your bad gifts into good gifts.
So, you might as well just give Nora a good gift.
- Or I get Nora no gift at all.
That'll definitely ruin her Christmas.
Thanks, old time spirit.
- Don't thank me. That wasn't the point.
- Can't hear ya. Too busy waking myself up.
- Stop that. Stop waking yourself up!
- [smacking face]
Ow!
Sleeping slaps hurt!
- What's all the muttering about?
- I had a dream I gave everyone bad gifts.
- That wasn't a dream.
You're about to give Nora cottage cheese.
- She's not getting cottage cheese any more.
Empty. This'll work.
[writing] "To Nora. Try turning this into diamonds."
And now, nature's lullaby.
- [bombs whistling, exploding]
- [tube whacks] - Ow!
- Wake up, Max! It's Christmas morning!
- What the Dickens are you supposed to be?
- I'm the Spirit of Christmas "Present."
Get it?
- Got it.
Let's "wrap" this up. Get it?
- Can't. You didn't learn a thing
from the Spirit of Christmas Past.
So, now I have to show you Nora's reaction
when she opens her gift in the morning.
- No thanks, barfbag.
See, I did learn something.
- [loud whack] - Ow!
Why's that wrapping paper hurt so much?
- Because it's a bat.
- I'll get my shoes.
- [sighs] I love my job.
- *
- Man, I look good in the morning.
Here you go, Nora. - Thanks, Max.
- Oh, it's "nothing."
[laughs] And I'm funny, too.
- Hey, what gives?
- What's wrong, Nora?
- There's nothing inside, that's what.
- That is messed up!
- Un-Merry Christmas!
- Maximus Octavius Thunderman, how could you?
- Apologize to your sister.
- Only if you apologize for my middle name.
- BARB & HANK: We're sorry.
- Oh.
Well, I'm still not apologizing.
- Don't worry, guys.
It's gonna take a lot more than
one empty box to ruin Christmas, right, Nora?
- No snow? No present?
Christmas is ruined!
- Batter up!
- Ow!
- Hey, what's all the hubbub?
Another bad dream?
- Yeah, but this one finally opened my eyes.
I think I learned a valuable lesson about Christmas.
- Don't drink your Dad's eggnog because I bathe in it?
- I've been a complete fool, Colosso.
What kind of small-minded person
tries to ruin a little girl's Christmas?
When he could ruin everyone's Christmas!
[cackling] - COLOSSO: [cackling]
- Oh, I'm a mean one.
- *
- COLOSSO: [cackling]
I can't wait to wake up
and see everyone's disappointed faces.
- Barb will be so upset,
she won't see the mistletoe comin'.
Then it's nothin' but lips.
- [recorded man cackling]
- [whooshing]
- [bed thudding]
- Please don't be another weird Phoebe.
- I am the Spirit of Christmas Future...
where we have awesome haircuts and giant candy.
Max Thunderman, you stole Christmas from your family.
- That's right. What are you gonna do about it?
Ah, don't hit me!
- Oh, that's right. Christmas Present was here.
She bats cleanup on our Spirit softball team.
Now, come on, let us go see how things turned out in the future.
- And get giant candy?
- No.
- [whooshing]
- Whoa! I like it. Evil chic.
Black super-suits.
Now that's a family I'm proud to be a part of.
Hey, where's Nora?
- We'll get to that later. But, first, behold!
- BARB & HANK: [cackling]
- Are they cackling?
Who taught them how to cackle?
- After you sank their joy of Christmas,
they turned to a life of crime...
and cackling. - BARB & HANK: [cackling]
- Oh, did you see how fast those guards ran?
- Oh, especially that old guy!
Then again, you were shooting lightning bolts at his butt.
- BARB & HANK: [cackling]
- Ohhhhh... - I hate you so much.
- I hate you more, baby. [smooching]
- Aside from the kissing,
this is the greatest day of my life.
Future bump.
- Bumping is no longer a "thing."
We mind text.
I will send you one now.
[powers zapping]
- Well, that's just rude.
- It is now time to go see
what became of your beautiful sister, Phoebe.
- Beautiful? [scoffs]
I think you've got the wrong Phoebe.
Just a little joke.
I'm having so much fun.
- [whooshing]
- Hiddenville High?
It looks like I finally turned this place around.
- No, your sister did.
It is now called Phoebe Thunderman Academy of Fear
and here comes its wicked queen now.
- [thunderous pounding]
- MAX: Phoebe's bad, too?
- So bad she rules this school with an iron fist.
- [iron fist clanking] - [ground vibrating]
- Oh, a real iron fist.
- She got it from a diabolical wood shop accident.
- So lucky.
- Hey, quarterback, you're benched.
- [loud thud]
- [laughing] Benched...
'cause it's a bench. [laughing]
I'm gonna mind text you--LOL.
- Maybe it's time you see what happened to Billy
after his Christmas was ruined.
- Billy turned evil, too?
I never wanna wake up.
- [whooshing]
- Oh!
Why is Billy's picture in my lair?
- It's his lair now.
The lair goes to the most evil person in the family.
- More evil than me? [scoffs]
Impossible.
I replace seeing eye dogs with blind ones.
- Billy didn't get any video games for Christmas.
That left him with 14-16 hours a day
to do nothing but get angry.
- No, you listen to me, Mrs. Claus.
Put Santa on the phone or the elves get it!
- Whoa! Stealin' the fat man's elves?
Tsk, why didn't I think of that?
- You did not think of that because you are his pet.
- [Max's voice] Hey, Billy, it's really funny
what you're doin' to those elves.
Please feed me.
- Sure, Max.
How about a shut-your-mouth sandwich?!
- It is me.
What kind of future is this?
And where are my pants?
- He took them so you would not run away.
He needs you.
He has nobody else to hang out with.
- Why?
Where's Nora?
- I was saving the most important part for last.
Hold on!
- [whooshing]
- Oh!
Oh, what happened to our old place?
- This is where Nora lives now.
She had so many great memories here,
she came back to keep the Christmas spirit alive.
- Did she forget to pay our heating bill in the future?
- [powers zapping]
That's okay. We don't need a fire.
We have each other to keep warm.
Get excited, everybody!
This year's Christmas bean is kidney!
And be sure to save room for dessert.
We've got dumpster mints!
- Why's she feeding dumpster mints to dolls?
- Nora refused to become a villain,
so your family kicked her to the curb...
right next to the dumpster where she found those mints.
- Oh, I almost forgot.
I have something special for you, Max.
- Run, doll Max, save yourself.
- Merry Christmas.
I forgive you for stealing Christmas
and splitting up our family.
- She forgives me?
- I love you, Max.
- [zooming]
- NORA & MAX: Billy, no!
- They cannot hear you.
- Give it back.
That's the only bow I have left and it's for Max.
- You should've turned evil like the rest of us, Nora.
- Never! - Fine.
FYI: If you're gonna eat beans, open a window.
Oh, that's right. You can't afford windows.
[zooming] [cackling]
- How can he do that to her?
- You did this to her.
- No, I just...
meant to ruin one little day,
not her whole life.
I have to fix this.
- Sorry, Max Thunderman, it's too late.
- [whooshing] - No, no, it can't be.
Take me back!
Please, please, I wanna change this.
Don't go! Don't go!
Don't go!
Don't go! Don't go!
- I'm starting to rethink this whole roommate thing.
- Colosso!
[gasping]
Am I me or am I you in the future?
- I'm the me who's gonna bite you if you keep waking me up!
- It is you!
Come here, you big, beautiful bunny!
[smooching]
- Huh, you're not Barb, but I'll take what I can get.
- It's 11:30. It's still Christmas Eve.
I have enough time to save Christmas.
- Call me!
- [* "Deck the Halls" ]
- Get down here, sleepyheads.
It's Christmas!
- Why is Max dressed like that?
- I don't know.
- Merry Christmas, my beautiful family.
[jingling sleigh bells]
- Why is Max acting like that?
- I still don't know.
- Guess who made figgy pudding?
Mmmmm!
- Okay, everybody, lock arms.
Don't let go no matter what.
- What are you guys waiting for?
Let's open our gifts.
- PHOEBE: Aw... - HANK: Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Oh, awesome. - Beautiful.
- A video game!
I know what I'll be doing for the next 14-16 hours.
- HANK: [laughing]
- Nora, this one is from me.
- Hey, what gives?
- What's wrong, Nora?
- There's nothing inside, that's what.
- Maximus Octavius Thunderman, how could you?
- Oh, wait, there is something.
- Never mind.
- [reading] "Look outside. Love Max."
- HANK: Oh! - BILLY: A white world!
- A white Christmas? I knew it would happen.
This is the best Christmas ever!
- Max, how did you do this?
- Hello? Super genius.
I built a machine to freeze the world's water supply.
But today, it'll make snow for Nora.
- I love you, Max.
Can we go outside and chuck snowballs at the neighbors?
- Well, it wouldn't be much of
a Thunderman Christmas, if we didn't.
- Max?
I'd like to think all my pushing
finally convinced you to embrace the spirit of Christmas.
- It's not so bad being good once a year
if it means Nora doesn't have to eat dumpster mints.
- What are you talking about?
- Like you don't know, "Pheeba".
- Wait for me!
- [* "Jingle Bells" ]
- *