- And now may the fastest rat win.
- Hey, guys, we always do the fastest rat.
You know what really says rock and roll?
may the fattest rat win.
- Maybe you should stop feeding him gravy.
- Don't tell me how to raise my rat.
Who's a hungry baby, huh?
- Oh, hey, guys.
I just booked DJ Astronaut for the big dance.
Oh, look, you already found dates.
- Hey, the band couldn't agree on a new look, so we're deciding
what to wear by racing rats.
- Couldn't you just talk it out?
- But then what would we do with the rats?
- If your band has a fashion emergency,
you should just ask me.
Here, what are you options?
- Well, I want punk rock.
- Scary skeletons. - Robots.
- Nothing put puka shells.
- Well, the good news is, no matter who wins you all lose.
- Don't listen to her.
You're a winner, Danica Rat-trick.
And apparently a boy.
- Gentlemen, start your rats!
- Oh, hold on, mine's pooping.
All right, we're good.
- On your mark, get set...
Rat race! - [horn blows]
- Come on, Danica, run!
- Come on, bring it home, big girl!
- Do it for the robots!
- Don't poop, run!
- Yeah!
You know what this means, guys.
Initiating music mode.
Beep, bop, boop.
- That's not how a robot dances, Max.
- I'm not dancing.
My rat's loose in my costume.
- [rat squeaking]
- * What you see is not what you get *
* Living our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in, bet you'd never guess *
* Because we're living our lives just like all the rest *
* A picture-perfect family is what we try to be *
* But closer you might see the crazy things we do *
* This isn't make-believe
* It's our reality
* Just your average family trying to be normal *
* And stay out of trouble
* Living a double life *
- *
- And here's your ticket.
And your ticket.
And your--wait, am I supposed to be charging people?
- [phone dings]
- Oh, no.
- Don't worry, I'll get their money.
- No.
No, I just got an email from DJ Astronaut.
"Dear mission control, I'm too sick to liftoff,
so I wouldn't be able to 'rocket' tonight.'"
Just because he used cute astronaut language
doesn't make it better.
- What are we going to do?
The dance is ruined.
- What? - [indistinct chatter]
- Uh, she's joking.
The dance is not ruined.
It's--it's gonna be off the chain...and the hook.
Even the handle.
It's gonna be off all the things.
Cherry, this is the biggest dance of the year.
If people find out I messed up the music,
they'll never forgive me.
- I'll make them forgive you.
- Okay, you can't keep solving problems with your shoes.
Wait, I think I just figured out a way to save the dance.
Hey, Max!
How would you and your band like to play the dance tonight?
- Uh, yes.
- Well, there's no pay. - Yes.
- You'll have no time to rehearse.
- What part of yes don't you understand?
- Sweet-ious, this will get us out of playing
Gideon's mom's gas station.
- Yeah, she was gonna pay us in gas and tire rotations.
- Sorry, Gideon, but I'd much rather play for teenage girls
than truck drivers.
- Lady truck drivers.
- Ladies?
I'm changing my vote back to gas station.
- Looks like we're split.
Only one way to settle this.
- Oh, no.
Please don't tell me it's another--
- Fat race!
I know, it's rat race.
- *
- [rat squeaking]
- So, Max, ready to win that rat race?
- Oh, we're not gonna win.
- What?
- He's never won.
If you weren't so adorable,
I'd be kicking you out on the streets.
- But I need your band to save the dance.
Why would you even agree to race?
- No choice.
Band rule number 77, in case of disagreement, rat race.
- Your band has 77 rules?
- Yeah, but rules 1 through 76 are rock hard, rock out,
rock your face off, rock--
- I get it.
- Well, we did some good gardening out there today, Nora.
- We?
You just stood there in the shade.
- It's called supervising.
And I did it without a chair.
- Aw, who's this little, furry--ah!
Rat!
Ah...!
- Max, you've got to keep that filthy thing out of the house.
- Dad, she's right here.
- And she has telekinesis.
- Hey, Billy.
Hey, honey.
Hello, ice cream.
- It's for Billy.
We decided that ice cream was better
than joining the track team.
- You decided.
I wanted to join the team so I could super speed and win races.
- Billy, if we're gonna live in Hiddenville,
we all have to hide something.
Like Max and Phoebe's telekinesis
or your father's super strength or--
- Your mother's snoring.
Oh, you were talking about super powers.
- I'm the fastest kid in the world, and no one knows.
- I feel bad.
- Ah, he'll come around.
He's learned two valuable lessons today.
Living in Hiddenville requires sacrifices
and never leave your ice cream unattended.
Let me show you all the hard work I did in the garden.
- Interesting.
Billy wants to win races.
We've got a race to win.
- Yeah, okay, but even your friends might notice
that Billy's not a rat.
- He could be a rat if we shot him with the animalyzer.
Dad used it to turn Dr. Colosso into a rabbit.
We could use it to turn Billy into a rat.
If only we knew where it was.
- I know where it is.
- Wow, remind me never to tell you a secret.
Tell me where.
- I can't.
Dad would kill us.
That thing is extremely dangerous.
It's the kitchen.
Why do I keep doing that?
- Because you know it's the right thing to do.
When we were Billy's age,
we could use our powers whenever we wanted.
We didn't have to hide a thing.
- You're right.
We'd be bad siblings if we didn't turn into a rat.
- That's the spirit.
Now come on, Phoebe, make with the blabby blab.
- It's in the top cabinet next to the frig.
Just grab the can of brussels sprouts and pull.
Ah, that felt good.
- Brussels sprouts?
The animalyzer!
It's beautiful!
But how'd you figure that out?
- Chips, cookies, brussels sprouts.
- You picked brussels sprouts over chips?
- They're like little baby cabbages.
Come on, name a cuter food.
- Apricots.
- Oh my gosh, yes, they're baby peaches.
- *
- And that is how you can use your powers to win a race
right here in Hiddenville.
- A rate race?
- We know it's not the same but--
- It's even better.
And it takes care of two dreams at once!
- You've dreamed of becoming a rat?
- He agreed, let it go.
- And don't worry, Billy.
The animalyzer can turn you back into a human.
To demonstrate, Max will now use it on me.
- Not happening, Colosso.
- But I want to be a man again.
- [laughing]
- Oh, he used to be a person.
All right, Billy, you have to promise not to tell mom and dad.
- My rat gills will be sealed.
- He knows what a rat is, right?
- He's about to find out.
- [electricity zapping]
- BILLY: Oh, man, it didn't work.
You guys just made the room really big.
- Yep, still Billy.
- All right, Nora, are you ready to deal
with your fear of rats?
- Why should I?
Isn't it normal to be afraid of rats?
- Yes, but...you're a superhero, and you'll have
to face a lot of rat-themed villains someday--
Professor Pack Rat, Rat-a-tat-tat,
Tommy the Cheese Eater, Red-eyed Ricky.
- Franken-rat, Rat-zilla, Rat-sophe--
- I get it!
Face my fears.
- Max, would it be okay if Nora pets one of the rats?
- Sure.
- [inaudible scream]
- What is she doing?
- I think she's screaming at a frequency we can't hear.
- [glass shatters]
- Well, she's certainly ready to fight Glassman.
- Let's go get Billy.
Maybe he can calm her down.
- No, no, don't!
Uh, we just spoke to him.
He's still upset and doesn't want to talk to you guys yet.
- Yeah, we'll tell you when he's changed back--
changed his mind.
- Hey, Max, your rat's gonna get his tail handed to him,
and you're gonna rock out at my mom's gas station.
- The only gas we're gonna get is gas from the chili
at the school dance.
- BILLY: Nice one, Max.
- Who said that?
- Who said what?
- "Nice one, Max."
- Thanks, Angus.
- This is getting weird.
Let's just race.
- Okay, it's go time.
- [rats squeaking]
- On your mark, get set--
- Rat race! - [horn honks]
- That's the fastest rat in the world.
What kind of gravy do you feed him?
- Way to go, Billy!
- What race car driver's named Billy?
- Uh, the kind that wins.
- Billy!
- ALL: Billy! Billy! Billy!
Billy! Billy! Billy!
- Billy, you saved the dance.
- Yeah, you were great, buddy.
- BILLY: I know.
Everyone was chanting my name.
This is the best day of my life.
- It's almost too bad we have to turn you back.
- BILLY: Then don't.
I finally used my super speed to win a race.
I don't want to go back to hiding my powers.
- Sorry, buddy, but if dad found out Phoebe and I
used the animalyzer, he'd turn us into rats.
- BILLY: Cool.
Then we could race and I could kick your little rat butts.
- All right, I'm glad you had your fun, but it's over now.
- BILLY: Not for me.
See ya, suckas!
- Billy!
- BOTH: Billy!
- Billy?
You can't stay a rat forever.
Come on out and--
- Phoebe! - Ah!
- I'm not a rat.
- Eh.
Max, I'm getting nervous.
If mom and dad find out about Billy, you won't get to play
the dance and I won't get to save the dance.
- There he is.
I think he's drawn to your endless whining.
Keep being annoying.
- BILLY: You'll never catch me, slow humans.
[laughs]
Give it up.
I'm the fastest rat in the world.
- He's right, Max.
We should just let him live as a rat forever.
[whispers] Get the animalyzer.
- BILLY: You're not using that thing on me.
- Wait, you heard that?
- BILLY: My ears are so big, I can hear birds fart.
You think I'm gonna give that up?
- Wait, Billy!
What does it sound like?
- BARB: There's no need to fear rats.
Take it from me, Randy Rat.
- Really, mom, a puppet?
- BARB: I'm not a puppet, I'm your friend.
- Can it, Randy.
- BARB: Got it.
Got it.
- You guys had three kids before me,
and this is the best you can do?
- Ugh.
- Well, hey, they're your kids, too.
- [whispers] Barb, I was talking about that rat over there.
- Uh-oh.
Okay, I'm just done with this.
- Max's little races must be attracting wild rats.
I got this.
- [rat squeaks]
- Hank, you scared it into the house.
- [in squeaky voice] Don't blame, Hank.
He tries so hard to make you happy.
[in normal voice] Thanks, Randy.
- Okay, now--
- Ow, his head.
- Great idea, Phoebe.
If rat Billy wants to play with all this cool stuff,
he'll have to turn back into boy Billy.
Genius.
- Yeah, thanks, but why I am carrying everything?
- Will you save your whining for when
we're trying to catch Billy?
Uh...Phoebe.
- Ah!
- I get that a lot.
- Mom, who is this?
- The exterminator.
- Darryl the rat man.
If they're a crawlin', Darryl comes a callin'.
I also teach yoga.
- Your rat race attracted wild rats.
- So if you want to catch a rat, you gotta think like a rat...
and put on your rat hat.
- Okay, rat man's insane.
- Mom, dad, you can't do this.
- Why not?
- Because rats are people, too.
[whispers] Some more than others.
- That's why the rat man always carries rat friendly traps.
- Oh, good.
- But I left those at home, so I got these.
The old snap and crack.
- [snaps]
- Now, stay out of the danger zone, unless you're a rat.
In which case, come on down!
- You wanna hear the real crazy part?
I didn't call him.
He just showed up.
- 'Cause I'm the rat man.
- I better warn Billy.
I think he's still in his room.
- Actually, he's in my lair.
Yeah, we'll tell him.
Come on, Phoebe.
- Careful of the danger zone.
- Actually, I'm more concerned about the crazy zone.
- Billy!
- Rat boy!
- COLOSSO: Over here.
Uh, I'm Billy.
Turn me back into a human.
Two plus two is six and other dumb stuff like that.
- Max, look.
- Billy, we see you.
- You're in danger.
There's an exterminator in the house.
- BILLY: Wow, I'm really scared.
- You don't know what an exterminator is, do you?
- BILLY: I do not.
- It's a guy who catches rats.
- BILLY: Well, good luck,
because I'm the world's fastest rat.
I told you you couldn't catch me.
- Hey, Billy, we just wanted to thank you for winning that race,
so we got you some gifts--video games, boogie board.
- A bunch of other stuff
you need opposable thumbs to play with.
- BILLY: Nice try, but I'm not going back.
Not when I can win races, climb walls and chew through cement.
- Why are you chewing through cement?
- BILLY: Because I can.
- Fair enough.
- Hey, have you guys seen Billy?
Ah, rat!
- Ow!
- Nora, get out of here before you hit something I care about.
- BILLY: Nora's afraid of me?
- Uh, of course she is.
Nora's afraid of all rats.
- But who needs Nora when you've got
all that cement to chew through?
- BILLY: Cement is the chicken of construction materials.
But I don't want my sister to be afraid of me.
- Well, then I think you know what we have to do.
- BILLY: Turn Nora into a rat, too?
- Billy.
- BILLY: Okay, I'll change back...for Nora.
- Thank you.
- BILLY: Mm, string cheese.
- No, Billy, don't.
It's a trap.
I tried.
- That's it, ratty.
Chase the cheese.
Thanks for the tip, terrified girl.
- All right.
And we are a go to animalize.
Let's change Billy back and get to that dance.
- All right, Billy, we're ready.
Billy?
- DARRYL: Ha, ha, gotcha rat.
- BOTH: Rat man!
- Must get animalyzer.
Almost...uh!
[sighs]
I'm never getting out of here.
- We gotta stop him!
- [snapping]
- [in slow motion] Oh, no, danger zone!
- [in slow motion] Now who's whining?
- Nora, we need your help.
- I'd say so.
- We used dad's animalyzer to turn Billy into a rat
so he could win a race.
- We'd save him, but we just got snapped and cracked.
- You're the only one who can do it.
- Except mom and dad.
But we're not telling them, because, you know,
we turned Billy into a rat.
- You guys are just saying it's Billy so that I'll face my fear.
Who put you up to this?
Mom, dad?
It was that puppet, wasn't it?
- Nora, would I lie to you?
Would Phoebe lie to you?
- Seriously, Nora, that rat is Billy.
- Phew, like Billy would be dumb enough
to let you two turn him into a rat.
Billy, I'm coming!
- Thank you so much for catching that thing.
- I guess you owe it all to your fancy hat.
- Are you mocking the rat hat?
- What?
No.
A little.
- Wait, you can't take him away!
- Who, the rat?
- Yeah.
I...want to keep him, as a pet.
- But you're afraid of rats.
- And you said I needed to face my fear.
So here it goes.
You better be Billy.
Yah, I'm over my fear.
- BILLY: Thanks, Nora.
- Wow, honey, good for you.
- Uh, folks, I don't think you want to keep a wild rat.
- Back off, rat man!
- Thanks for your help, Nora.
- Ow!
- That's for turning my brother into a rat.
- Don't be mad at them, Nora.
I wanted to do it.
- Are you going to miss racing, Billy?
- Yeah.
But not as much as I would miss you.
At least I can still hear bird farts.
- Not a bird, kid.
- [clicks teeth]
- Hey, Max, how're you doing?
You think you'll be able to play the dance tonight?
- Maybe if I ice up my fingers I won't feel the pain.
- [blows air]
- * Ow, ow, ow
- I guess that means no music, which makes me the girl
who ruined the dance.
- Unless there's no dance.
Billy,
how'd you like to be a rat one last time?
- *
- Phoebe, where's Max?
- Yeah, the dance is about to start, and I'm not doing this
if he doesn't have to.
- [in computer voice] Initiating freak-out mode.
[in normal voice] I'm freaking out!
- We are never getting girls.
- Okay, guys, no need to panic.
- [screaming]
- Nice job, Billy.
Oh, hey, Billy.
You're not Billy.
Eh.
- *