- *
- Hey, look at you on your first day of work.
You even look adorable covered in Splat spew.
- Yeah, I'm all dirty from cleaning the tubes.
Jay Jay doesn't know how I do it.
[arm squeaking]
- Wow, now I know who to call when I accidentally
flush an earring down the toilet.
- Yep, you call me, I'll call a plumber.
- Well, anyway, good luck with your first day of work
and stay on your toes--
all 11 of them. - Shhh. Quiet.
You're the only person who knows about my bonus toe.
Well, you and that dude at the sandal store.
- Hey, I think your bonus toe is cute.
- Well, I don't. It's my secret shame.
My hairy, pointed- the-wrong-way shame.
- Link, you can trust me, okay?
We're in the secret-sharing phase now that
we're officially "Phoebink." - Unh.
- "Linkebe." - Uh...
- Okay, our names don't go together,
but we do. - BOTH: [laughing]
- Guys, I found us a new drummer.
This is Wolfgang.
- That's a weird name.
What's up? I'm Oyster.
- And I'm Gideon.
I'm kinda the heart throb of this band.
- Wolfgang is exactly what we've been looking for.
There's just one tiny catch.
- [speaking German] Wolfgang!
- He's a foreign exchange student
who only speaks German.
Oh, by the way, Gideon, he lives with your family now.
- Fine, but I'm not sharing my water bed.
- How about we celebrate with a rock feast?
- [button beeping]
- One taco?
- It's all we can afford, bro.
- ALL: [clamoring]
- Hi, guys!
You're a band, right?
- Yeah--unless you're lookin' for a stolen cowbell.
Then, no. - [tapping cowbell]
- I'm holding auditions to hire a band
to play here every Saturday.
- Cool! - Awesome!
- Wolfgang! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
A band of our caliber comes at a price.
- The pay is free food. - That's the price.
- Wait, how can we be the Splatburger band,
if we don't have a single good song?
- What about the new song I wrote?
Everyone will love it. Watch.
* Words words words words are for nerds *
* Nerds nerds nerds are using the words *
* So we won't use words
- [electric guitar high notes]
- [buttons beeping]
- * Words words words words are for nerds *
- Uh-oh, they're ordering tomatoes.
We should stop them. - Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
- You really shouldn't try so hard on your first day.
- * Words are for nerds - [tomatoes splatting]
- [one note playing]
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life
Colosso, what rhymes with snot rocket?
- You stink at writing songs--ocket.
- Whatever--like you know anything about making music.
- For your information,
I once dropped my own rap album.
- * Hey! Hey! Hey!
- * I hipped and I hopped I could go non-stop *
* Because I am a bunny and carrots are my-- *
- Enough!
That sounds awful.
- Yeah, well, I didn't say I wrote good music.
To do that you need to have a heart
and supervillains like us don't have one.
- Hey, I have a heart, okay? It's just...
filled with spiders and black licorice.
Maybe I don't have what it takes to write a good song.
- Link is seriously the best boyfriend ever.
- I know. I feel like every time I turn around,
he's giving you another gift.
- [arm squeaking]
- [gasping]
- [arm squeaking]
- [door closes]
- See? You're dating a gift ninja.
- Yeah, I'm running out of space in my diary
to write about him.
Seven hundred pages of passion and poetry
straight from the heart.
- The tree that died to make that diary
dies a little more every time you write in it.
- Max, if you want a hit song with meaning and passion,
you need to get that diary.
- Well, I can never find her diary.
She hides it ever since Billy did a book report on it.
- Well, then, you've gotta sneak into her room
and see where she puts it.
- How would I do that?
Hide inside of a giant teddy bear?
- *
- Aw, the gift ninja struck again.
[sighing]
I wonder what my sweetie wrote this time?
"Here's this. From Link."
Well, they can't all be winners.
[kisses bear]
- Dr. Colosso, you pooped in our shoes for the last time.
- You can't prove it was me.
- We found your tiny toilet paper.
- And your tiny magazines.
Maybe a ride on the twirl and hurl will teach you.
Super-spin him, Billy.
- [zooming] - COLOSSO: Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Stop spinnin' me! I'm gonna puke!
- What's going on here?
- We were just getting Dr. Colosso back
for pooping in our shoes.
- What makes you think acting like that is okay?
- Colosso! You pooped in my shoes!
I'm canceling your tiny magazine subscription--
after I cancel you. - Hank!
I think the kids have been picking up
some ugly behavior from you.
- Uh! Uh-oh, here comes lunch!
- [vomit splattering] - BARB: [screaming]
- You puked on my new shoes!
Oh, eat lightning, barf bunny!
[powers zapping] - COLOSSO: [yelping]
- Correction.
They've been picking up ugly behavior from us.
- *
- [door opens, closes]
- Okay, Dr. Colosso,
we've been at each other's throats lately
and that's about to end.
- Mom's gonna light him up.
- You are about to get a taste of what you deserve.
- Here it comes.
- Carrot cake!
- BILLY, NORA, COLOSSO: What?!
- We wanted to apologize
for raising our voices at you earlier.
- Oh, thanks, guys.
I look forward to pooping this into your shoes.
- Ho, ho, ho, Colosso. You are a scamp!
- What's going on here?
- Oh, I get it.
[zooming]
It's backwards day.
- Can somebody tell me what's going on here?
Billy's clothes are on backwards
and he's making more sense than you two.
- Your father and I need to set a better example.
So, from now on, we're gonna be nice to Dr. Colosso,
even if he's not being nice to us.
- Yes, because we are superheroes
and we must never stoop to a supervillain's level.
- COLOSSO: Saved ya a slice, Hank!
- [cake splatting]
- Thanks, my furry friend.
See? No stooping.
- [cake splatting]
- [laughing]
- JAY JAY: That was great. Thank you.
- Hey, Max, your new lyrics are incredible.
- [speaking German]
- You're a real softy, aren't you?
- Yeah, I'm just a big old teddy bear.
- Okay, you guys are up.
- Let's go.
All right, this song means a lot to me
as an artist, songwriter and someone who likes free food.
Hit it, boys!
- *
* You got a little secret
* Something I never knew
* But what's so special
* Is the trust between me and you *
* I care about you deeply
* I want you to know
* I'll never speak a word about your bonus toe *
- * Your bonus toe
- * It's no biggie - * Your bonus toe
- * So get jiggy - * Your bonus toe
- * With your extra piggy
* I'll never speak a word about your bonus toe *
- That's enough! That's enough!
Wow! [laughing]
Just give us a sec, okay?
- Max, I need to talk to you.
- Sorry, Link, no autographs for dudes.
- N-N-N-No.
Did you find out about my extra toe from Phoebe?
- Oh, um, technically, yes.
Is it weird that I'm dying to see it?
- I can't believe she told you my secret.
- You'd better get some more songs ready.
You boys are the house band at Splatburger!
- CROWD: [applauding] - BAND: [hooting]
- Hey, Link. What time you gettin' off work?
I actually flushed an earring down the toilet.
- Was that before or after you flushed my trust?
- What are you talking about? - You know what you did.
I don't think we should see each other any more.
- Wait, Link, you can't just leave.
- Right, my shift's not over yet.
- * Your bonus toe
- Good rehearsal, guys.
- Wolfgang!
- Wolfgang's right. It wasn't good.
We just played our one song over and over.
- Yeah, bro, if we wanna keep our gig, and get free food,
we need more good songs like "Bonus Toe."
- Hey, relax. Maxie's gonna write us a hit.
You guys go home.
I just need to find my inspiration.
And by that I mean take a peek in Phoebe's diary.
- Congrats, Max.
Not only did you crush that audition,
but you also crushed your sister's heart.
[laughing]
- Come on, Phoebe'll be fine.
Link will get over it and they'll get back together.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a giant teddy bear to crawl into.
- *
- That Link is such a jerk for breaking up with you.
Hey, I know what'll make you feel better.
Boys are stupid!
Boys are disgusting!
Boys are--
Wait, this bear's a boy, right?
- Well, it won't tell me what I did wrong--so probably.
[sighing]
[grunt of effort] - [heavy thud]
- What's the use?
Drop-kicking this bear isn't gonna help me
find out why Link broke up with me.
But maybe this note I wrote him will.
I really poured my heart into it.
- This is the most beautiful, romantic thing I have ever read.
- Can you just take it to Link for me, please?
- Of course.
- [exhales] [grunt of effort]
- [door opens, closes]
- [heavy thudding] - MAX: [yelping]
- Cherry, wait, don't go!
- What's up?
- I really need to talk to you.
- Aw, Max.
I'm flattered, but you're my best friend's brother
and I just don't think-- - I'm not asking you out.
I wanna deliver that note to Link myself
and talk to him, guy-to-guy, to fix this.
- That is so sweet of you to help Phoebe like that.
- Okay, don't tell Phoebe I took the note.
I don't want her to think I care about her.
- You secretly have a heart.
Are you sure you don't wanna ask me out?
Yeah, because I'd say-- - [door slamming]
- Hello, new hit song.
- You talkin' to me?
Well, I'm the only holiday creature here,
so you must be talkin' to me.
- You chewed holes into all our clothes?
- I'm not answering that question
until I put on my lawyer costume.
- I can't wear these shorts.
Everyone will know that I'm going through
a "no underwear" phase.
- Hey, so, how are you two planning to get me back?
Am I gonna need a barf bag?
- Yeah, 'cause here comes the twirl and hurl!
- No, Billy!
Remember, we don't do that anymore.
- What gives?
First your parents are all sunshine to me
and now you two won't punish me?
Oh, no, am I not annoying anymore?
- Mom and dad taught us that a superhero
should never stoop to a supervillain's level.
- So, we're going to be nice to you, too--
no matter what.
- Is that so?
- Come on, Billy.
Mom said she'd take us clothes shopping at the mall.
Yes, you need to wear underwear.
- COMPUTER VOICE: Alert! Alert!
Oyster, Gideon, and strange German kid approaching.
- Hey, guys, get the new song lyrics I sent ya?
What's happening?
Are you guys okay?
- The real question is--
are you okay?
- We read your song. We know you're in pain.
- Strudel?
- Save your strudel. It's just a song, guys.
- "My heart skipped a beat when I saw you before.
But now I'm not sure my heart even works anymore."
That's not a song, bro, it's a cry for help.
- Don't you think I was just being a normal,
over-dramatic teenaged girl-- er, boy--because I'm a boy.
- Only true pain could write words like that.
I know. I was once burned pretty bad by a girl.
Like actually burned.
With a curling iron.
- We've all been there.
But Max has it worse. - I do?
- Yeah, that whole part in the song about
not knowing what you did wrong.
- [sobbing] I don't even know what I did wrong.
- I wanna help you, sweetie,
but there's only one person who can tell you that.
- [sobbing] - I know.
- [groaning] I'll be right back.
- He's not gonna eat it.
Group strudel!
- Link and I had the kind of relationship
where we could share anything with each other.
- I know you did, honey.
- Now he won't even respond to my note.
- Oh, that's because boys are stupid.
- [mouth full of ice cream] I know!
- Phoebe, I need to talk to you about Link.
- Don't say his name!
I'll be in the fridge. - [whipping cream spraying]
- Max...Max, just leave her alone.
She doesn't wanna think about you know who.
Oh, I hope she doesn't find the--
- Sausage links?!
[sobbing]
[screaming, sobbing]
- *
- Welcome home, family.
- Dad, what's happening?
- I don't know.
- Come on, you've all been so kind to me lately.
I wanted to make you dinner.
- Wow, Mom, Colosso's learning from your example, too.
- Yeah, I didn't expect this.
But maybe our efforts inspired change.
Nope, old leaves and grass.
We're not eating this.
- Really? What kind of lesson
are you teaching your children, if you won't even try it?
- BARB: [sighing]
Mmmm, that's some good grass.
- I can't believe we've been raking this up
and just throwing it away.
- Come on, kids, eat up.
You don't want your parents to think you're being mean to me.
- Mmm, tastes like that time I tripped in soccer.
- This is delicious! Where'd you get it?
- The Hiddenville Dog Park!
- HANK, BARB, NORA: [sputtering]
- I don't care what lesson I'm teaching my kids,
I am done being nice to you! - Let me laser him, Dad!
- I'm fryin' this bunny! - COLOSSO: [laughing]
Finally, you all hate me again!
- Wait, you want us to get mad at you?
- Yes, I'm a supervillain.
If I'm not annoying superheroes, I have nothing to live for.
- So, in a weird way, what I'm about to do
is how you prefer to be treated.
- Your move, doody-mouth.
[laughing]
Whoa-a-a-a-a-a! - [heavy thud]
- COLOSSO: Hello! That's what I'm talkin' about!
- Billy, stop eating the dog grass.
- [snarling like dog]
- Hey, make sure you open with "Bonus Toe."
That song inspired my new line of appe-toe-sers.
- Fried toe-tellini. Maca-toe-ni and cheese?
- JAY JAY: [laughing]
- Boy, you really went all out.
- Dude, what about our pay? - Ah.
[clearing throat]
- Sweaches! Our own private tube.
- Wolfgang tubin'!
- Sorry, no eats till you drop the beats.
- Phoebe, you came.
- Yeah, Link texted me and said he was sorry
for being a super stretchy jerkface
who smells like coleslaw.
- I never sent you a text.
- You didn't?
- Okay, so I might have hacked Link's phone and texted you.
But he does smell like coleslaw.
- Why would you do that?
- Because I needed to get you here
so I could talk to you and Link.
Here's the deal, right?
- I don't wanna hear anything you have to say, Max.
- Me, neither. I'm going home.
- Come on, Max, we've gotta play now.
- Phoebe, don't go!
* There's something you gotta know *
- What are you doing, dude?
We're supposed to play "Bonus Toe."
- All right, new plan. Watch me for the changes.
Try to keep up.
* This is a song about Phoebe
* So Link put down that drinky *
* Phoebe didn't tell me about your extra piggy *
* I needed a song to get my band this giggy *
* So I stole a page from her diary *
* And I passed it off as a song *
* Diary
* Phoebe wasn't the one who broke your trust *
* It was her awesome brother--Maximus! *
See you next week.
- I'm so sorry, Phoebe. I...
When I thought that you told Max my secret,
I was so hurt, I... I couldn't even talk to you.
- Link, I would never do that.
You mean so much to me.
Didn't you read my note? - What note?
- [tiny voice] This note.
- All right, new rule.
Whenever something doesn't seem right between us,
we assume Max has done something terrible.
- [laughing] Deal.
- BOTH: [laughing]
- JAY JAY: [clearing throat]
- Okay, let me explain why we didn't play "Bonus Toe."
It's actually quite touching.
Phoebe and Link-- - You're fired!
- Well, you just missed out on a really great story.
You would have loved the part about the bear.
Guys, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get us fired.
- Apologize later and help us load up.
- Wolfgang swiped Jay Jay's tube remote.
- Wolfgang is swipin'.
- Hey, get away from that tube!
- Busted! Run!
- PHOEBE: [powers zapping]
- [heavy thudding] - [drum bangs]
- Ah, revenge. Check!
- *