- The gong has a variety of uses in China.
Allow me to demonstrate the most obvious one--
to wake someone up.
- [loud clang] - I'm up! I'm up! I'm up!
- Even with all that crusty drool all over his face,
he's still adorable.
- Sarah, as your friend, I have to tell you
that gong would treat you better than my brother would.
- This week's assignment is to break into groups
and do a presentation on Chinese culture.
- Yes! I love working in groups.
- Only because it's less work for you.
- Yeah, more like no work.
Now to find a group of nerds to call my own.
- All right, I know you're not talking about my group,
because we are not nerds.
- Come on, Phoebe, all aboard the "A"-plus train!
- ALL: Choo-choo!
- You're right, you're not nerds,
you're clearly dweebs.
- Yeah, call us whatever you want,
there is no other group I'd rather be in.
- Be in our group, Phoebe.
- Except that one!
- Ha...
- Two groups. One girl.
What will Phoebe do?
- Get out of my face, Max.
- Will she go with Winnie, the popular girl
she's been trying to be friends with for a year?
Or will she stay with Sarah and board
the boring train to Dweebville?
- Well, I mean, Sarah is my friend.
- Winnie could be your friend, too,
and not make you dress up like you're going to
a third-grader's birthday party.
- Oh, we should send a picture of us
to the yearbook for the selfie page.
Say "China!"
- ALL: China! - [cell phone camera clicking]
- I can't believe Phoebe ditched us.
Now who are we gonna get?
- Hey, Sarah, can I join your-- - MAX: [powers zapping]
- Ooh!
- What's up, group?
Heard your train needs a caboose.
Choo-choo!
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life
- Hey, Sarah, look, I'm so sorry I'm not with you guys.
It's just that Winnie's group really needs me.
And you get it, don't you?
- Sure, I get it--you're hoppin' off the "A"-plus train.
- BOTH: [laughing]
- Good luck on the "D"-plus bus.
- Guys, I am really excited about this group.
You feelin' the love, Tyler?
- You stole my bike last week.
- Hey, I did you a favor.
That thing fell apart the moment I busted it.
- Sarah, I don't think Max is gonna do much.
- Why would you say that? - Because he's leaving.
- Max! Get back here!
- [groaning loudly]
[sighing loudly]
- Look, you'll always be my bae.
But you need to take this project as seriously
as I take our forbidden love.
- Believe me, I want the "A," too.
That's the only reason I joined this group.
- Great! So, what's your idea for the project?
- Uh, I don't know. What's yours?
- Build a Chinese dragon. - Me, too, bae!
- So, I was thinking after school
we could work on our project at the library.
- Oooh, is that the new club downtown?
- No, it's the place we go to learn things.
- Phoebe's right. We'll meet at the mall.
- That's not what I said. - Yay, the mall.
- All right, let's check our "to-do" list.
First thing-- write a "to-do" list.
- BOTH: Did it! - [palms slap]
- All right, then I'll fix the dishwasher.
- I can pick up dry cleaning.
- I'll mow the lawn. The only other thing is--
- [floorboards cracking] - BOTH: Fix the floorboards.
- Oh, Billy! Are you okay?
- The house ate my legs!
- You just fell in the floor that dad was supposed to fix.
- Sorry, buddy, I've just been busy.
- I don't think you've been that busy.
That chandelier's been sitting in its box so long
that it's turned into an end table!
- Okay, I'll just put it on the "to-do" list--
right after "ground Nora for being sassy."
- Yeah, you kids have no idea how hard we work around here.
- Is that why we had a salt and pepper sandwich
for dinner last night?
- We didn't have time to go shopping.
- Oh, is that a new necklace?
- I meant food shopping.
- Cut her some slack.
Your clothes are clean and the house is spotless.
- BARB: Mm-hm. - Is it, Dad? Is it?
- [objects clattering]
- [suitcase thudding]
- So, you two think it's so easy to cook, clean,
repair things and do everything else
while you two just enjoy your little lives?
- Kind of. - I think so.
- Okay, so you can take care of the house
and try to do better while we enjoy our little lives.
- Fine, but if we do better running this house,
then we get to be in charge around here from now on.
- We'll tell you what to eat, when to go to bed,
and ground you for being sassy.
- Deal--and when you fail, you two will finally appreciate
what your father and I do around here.
- Including making really great lists.
- Uh, is pull your son out of the sinkhole
on that "great" list?
- No, but I will add it.
- We are nailing this dragon, guys.
- You know, Max, we've been doing this for a couple of days
and I'm not sure I've seen you leave that chair.
- [laughing] Oh, Ernie...
- It's Evan. - Let's agree to disagree.
- Max, Evan's right. You need to do your part.
But it's getting hot,
so if you want to put on a tank top, that's fine.
- Wow, guys, your dragon looks awesome.
I'm impressed. - You're impressed?
What? You didn't think
we could do something so cool without you?
- No, no, I'm just surprised Max hasn't dragged you down.
His nickname around our house is "dead weight."
- Don't listen to her, Sarah.
She's jealous 'cause our group works so well together.
Ernie, refill!
- So, how's your group coming along?
- It's going great.
I mean, all those girls wanna do is work, work, work.
- You forgot all the clothes you bought at the mall.
- Thanks, Winnie. [laughing]
These are for research.
Haven't you ever heard of the Great Mall of China?
- No.
- Well, don't you feel silly.
- Uh-oh, my cheeks are tingling.
That means it's gonna rain-- or this glue contains shellfish!
- I should have never said "Hi" to you in the fourth grade.
- Max, we have to leave, so after the paper mache dries,
can you put it in the garage? - On it.
- Maybe we should come back and put it away ourselves.
- Tyler, Max said he'll do it.
Would someone with dimples you could swim in let us down?
- Guys, relax. I'm not an idiot.
I'll bring our dragon inside before it rains.
- [thunder crashing, wind gusting]
- I should wake Max up
and tell him that paper dragon's out there.
- [thunder crashing]
- [sighing] Wow, it's really rainin'.
Wait, did I forget something?
- Nope. Go back to bed.
- MAX: [sniffling]
- I'm a bad, bad bunny.
[quietly laughing]
- [thunder crashing] - Mm-hm.
- [yawning]
- [footsteps pounding]
- Hank, what are you doing?
- The kids fixed the floorboards.
It's perfect. I can't believe it.
- This must have taken them all night.
Do I smell bacon? - HANK: [sniffing]
Apple hickory with a hint of maple.
Ten pieces. [sniffing]
No, nine. Someone's eating it!
- Wow, kids, breakfast, too?
When did you find time to do all this?
- Got up early and just did it.
- We work best in the morning, you know,
when you two are sleeping in.
- Well, this is all very nice.
Too bad I was in the mood for pancakes.
- BILLY: [zooming]
- Please, it's gonna take a lot more than a fixed floor
and a hot breakfast to impress us, am I right, Hank?
- The syrup is warm.
Warm!
- Look, girls, Phoebe's rocking her new shoes.
Love them!
- You know what else you're gonna love?
The project topics I came up with last night.
All stuff we can put together by tomorrow.
- Oh, Phoebe, we'll be fine. We'll wing it.
As long as we look good, we'll get a "C".
- A "C"? You guys want a "C"?
- Oh, my gosh, daddy would be so happy if I got a "C".
- Hey, listen, how about we'll meet at my house after school.
We'll work really hard and nail this thing.
Imagine how happy daddy would be, if you got an "A".
- Shoot, I can't tonight. I have plans.
- Yeah, me, too.
I've gotta babysit my little brother.
- But you're an only child.
- Busted!
Sorry, I just really don't wanna do it.
- Listen, I can't do this by myself.
You guys are gonna have to put in some of the work or,
and I'm sorry to have to say this,
I can't be part of the group.
- Okay.
- Great. Let's get to work.
- No, I mean, okay, you're not part of the group.
- [sighing] Hey, Sarah, uh, crazy morning.
It turns out my group kinda doesn't like to focus,
so we parted ways.
- But if you don't have a group, you'll fail.
- Which is why I wanna get back on the old "A"-plus train.
Choo-choo!
- Sorry, that train's full.
Maybe you can catch the next one to the Great Mall of China.
- [laughing] But there is no Great Mall of--
oh, I see what you did there.
- Hi, uh, just a quick heads up.
I ran into a little snafu with that whole group project thing,
so I think I'm just gonna solo, you know, Team Phoebe!
Party of one!
Party of fun!
- I'm sorry, but being in a group is part of the assignment.
You have to be able to work with people or you fail.
- But all the groups are full.
- SARAH: You did what?
- Holy hog wart, our dragon is ruined!
- How could you forget to put it inside of the garage?
- Well, I was going to, but...
I was so tired from carrying around these muscles all day--
I fell asleep.
- Oh, getting the proper amount of sleep is so-o-o-o important.
- Don't look at his muscles!
- He's right. Let them look at you. [clicking tongue]
- Okay, Sarah, I am taking your glasses.
- Tyler! Now I can't see anything.
Except the truth!
Max, you're out of the group!
You can still date me,
but we are never working together again!
- [loud thud]
- Phoebe, I think you have the answer to your problem.
Max, come over here.
- Oh, great idea.
Give me Max's spot in Sarah's group.
- You're in a group with Phoebe.
Party of two! Party of wahoo! Hoo! Hoo!
- Try to get us at least a "B", sis.
I've gotta keep up the old GPA. [laughing]
- Honey, have you seen my raincoat?
- Uh, check the hall closet.
- I was afraid you'd say that.
[gasping]
Uh, Barb?
- What is it?
When? How?
What is happening?
- You always wanted a new bathroom,
so me and Billy put in some elbow grease and voilà!
Toilet's self-flushing. - [toilet flushing]
- Enjoy!
- This isn't fair.
They're running the house better than we can.
They even hung the chandelier you never got to.
- Yeah, I wasn't gonna hang that.
- We cannot let them win this bet.
Can you imagine what our lives will be like
with them in charge.
- [toy car horn honking]
- How do you guys like your new clothes?
- We hate them.
We can't leave the house dressed like this.
- You're not going anywhere until you finish your dinner.
- But we've had candy every night this week.
I've lost six teeth!
- [gasping] We can't let that happen.
How will I chew steak?
- We have to make sure this house falls apart
under their watch.
- Way ahead of you.
- [door handle clanking]
- Aw, look what broke.
- It's getting late, partner.
Shouldn't you be knee-deep
in some sort of glitter 'n glue extravaganza?
- I'm not gonna do our project by myself.
- Really? Because we both know I'm not helping,
so why don't you uncork that overachieving,
annoying beast that lurks inside ya and get crackin'.
- No, I'm gonna sit here and do nothing until you help.
- Are you? This is gonna be good.
[rapping table]
I'm gonna have a snack 'n watch you crack.
[chomping apple]
- *
- Oh! Fine! You win!
- Finally!
I'm sick of eating apples.
- Do you wanna know why I'm making
Chinese food for our project?
- Because my plan worked?
- Because that's what superheroes do.
When they have a team, they pull through for their team.
Not that you would know anything about that.
- Really, superhero?
If you hadn't been so anxious to hang with Winnie,
you'd still be in Sarah's group and their dragon would be fine.
- But you ruined their dragon.
- I was only in Sarah's group because you ditched them.
- Typical Max. "Wasn't my fault."
- My motto since 2005.
- This act of yours is getting really old.
You're not lazy, looking for an easy "A", you're afraid.
Isn't that why you became a supervillain, 'cause you
were afraid you couldn't be a better superhero than me?
Did you ever try?
- I'm not even dignifying that with a response--
because I am lazy and because you're holding a big knife.
- Everything you do you are.
It's because you're afraid of failure.
You think it's easier not to try
than to try and end up failing.
That should be your motto.
[sighing]
[powers zapping]
- [water gurgling]
- Ah!
- Maybe you should focus more on your food and less on me.
- They're supposed to do that.
- They think they're so great
because they can hang a chandelier.
Well, they're gonna chandelier their pants
when this comes crashing down.
- [electrical zapping]
- [laughing] Okay!
I just scorched the flower garden they planted.
Let's see them grow that back overnight.
- Whoa, good job, honey!
- What are you doing?
- I just took this bolt out of the chandelier.
When the kids go to clean it, boom!
Brilliant, huh?
- No, crazy!
I just scorched a few tulips.
You're gonna maim our children.
- It's a learning opportunity, Barb.
- Hank...
- Good morning.
Final day of our bet.
- What's with the ladder?
- [sighing] All right. I'll be honest with you.
Your mom rigged the chandelier
to make it fall so you'd look bad.
- Wow, you are so grounded when we win this bet.
- You guys did win the bet.
You've been running this house better than we have
and making it look easy.
- Seriously, you made maple bacon.
And I almost dropped a light fixture on your head.
I shouldn't be the boss of anything.
- Congratulations.
- Hear that, Billy? We're in charge now.
Hank, Barb, clear out the master bedroom.
We're starting a guinea pig farm.
- Mom, Dad, wait.
- Billy, what are you doing?
- Sorry, Nora, but we don't deserve
to be guinea pig farmers.
The truth is we tried to do the housework,
but you were right-- it was too hard.
So we called some of your old friends
from Metroburg to help us.
- Billy, no. - Come on out, guys.
- Maid of Honor?
Handy Man.
Oh, the Green Thumb!
- Uh, stranger danger.
- You guys were doing all the work?
- Yep.
- Well, at least now we know
it takes three superheroes to take care of the house.
- Four!
- Iron Skillet made the trip, too?
- Up! Up! And filet!
- I miss you guys so much.
You the most.
- Way to go, Billy.
- I'm sorry, but what we did was wrong.
I'm just glad no one got hurt.
- [chandelier creaking, crashing]
- HANDY MAN: Oh!
- I'm just glad we didn't get hurt.
- *
- BILLY: [zooming]
- Billy, you found one! Oh, thank you so much.
- Sorry I'm late.
I got lost inside the Great Mall of China.
- It's real?
- You're the one doing the project on China.
You should know these things. [zooming]
- This is the saddest dragon ever.
- I wish we had a better one.
Oh, right, we did.
- Oh, great, you and Max stole our idea.
Thanks a lot.
- This is for you guys.
- Like I said--thanks a lot. [laughing]
- Look, I should have been in your group from the start.
I messed up and let you guys down.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay. Thanks for saying something.
To be honest, I miss you. - PHOEBE: [laughing]
- I wanna be the head! - No, I want to!
- I miss you so so much. - PHOEBE: [laughing]
- Sabrina's top is made in China,
as was Emma's shoes and my hair tie and my purse and my phone.
- Okay, that's enough.
You girls get a "C".
- Yes, a "C"!
Daddy is getting me a new car!
- PHOEBE: [sighing]
- Maybe next time try to go the extra mile--
like Sarah's group and their dragon.
- ALL: Choo-choo!
- Next up, Phoebe and Max.
- Um, actually, Max isn't here yet.
- Well, as they say in China...
tough noogies.
- Um, okay, so Max and I wanted to celebrate China
by making egg rolls. - [egg rolls thudding]
- Uh, sorry, guys, they're... they're still good.
Uh, in China, the five second rule
is a ten second rule due to the time difference.
We're getting an "F" aren't we?
- [fireworks exploding]
- Oh, my gosh, fireworks!
- [fireworks continue]
- Behold!
One of China's oldest traditions.
Fireworks are used in celebration,
but were originally used to scare off spirits
and sisters who think they're better than their brothers.
- Max, you set off fireworks on school grounds?
- Phoebe and I did. As a group.
- Actually, Mrs. Austin--
- I love it! - That is exactly what we did.
Max and I are in the same group and this is our project.
* Ta-da!
- Well, what do the Chinese characters say?
- Uh... - Don't be modest, Phoebe.
It was Phoebe's idea to have the fireworks spell out--
"it's better to try and fail than not try at all."
- Yes! Yes! The Thundermans get an "A"!
- ALL: [applauding]
- Nice job. - Thanks.
I was up all night twisting fuses
and packing bootleg gunpowder.
- Well, it was worth it. Thank you.
Now you can tell me what those characters really spell out.
- Oh, "Phoebe smells like a wet donkey."
- Clever.
Egg roll?
- Sure!
- *