- Another day, another evil deed to impress Dark Mayhem.
[blowing icy air]
- Oh! - [heavy thud]
- I love the sound of pain in the morning.
- Oh, hey, Max.
Writing in your diary?
- It's not a diary. It's a chronicle.
- Does it have a lock? - Yes.
- Do you write your dark secrets in it?
- Yes.
- CHERRY & PHOEBE: * Diary
- Oh, sorry, we're just gonna need you to steer clear
of the endangered stink plant.
- Oh, is that just like a clever name or--
[gasping] No. That stinks.
- It smells because it's about to bloom.
- You know, I really do admire all the work
you and the Green Teens are doing, Allison.
- Well, you two should join us.
I mean, you can't imagine the rush
of being a hero and saving the Earth.
- That's almost impossible to imagine.
- Why is this stupid fence
blocking the way to my office?
- This is a PPZ-- Plant Protection Zone.
You're gonna have to GTWS-- Go Through Wood Shop.
- Are you kidding?
Those kids have moustaches and sharp tools.
And what idiot gave you permission to do this?
"Principal Brad--" [groaning]
I've gotta start paying attention
to things a little bit-- - [heavy thud]
- Ha. Two for two, baby.
- Thunderman, I know this was you!
I am tired of you and your diary.
You're never getting this back.
- You can't take tha-- [gasping]
- [heavy thud] - Oh!
- I love the sound of pain in the morning.
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life
- *
- Oh, Max, did you hear the awful news?
- That you're talking to me? I know. It's terrible.
- Seriously, Bradford was so annoyed by that stink plant,
he's gonna rip it out so he has a place to play golf.
- So we joined the Green Teens--
mainly because we care,
but mostly because it came with this free t-shirt.
- They're made from the recycled waste of elephants.
- So, you guys are wearin' poop-shirts.
- And you could, too,
if you signed up like your sister, Max.
What are you--like a child's size medium?
- I'm a woman's "husky."
Phoebe, would you explain to your odd little friend here
how the whole Max/Phoebe twin thing works?
- Yeah, so, um, I tell Max something I care about
and ask for his help and then he does something--
like that.
And then I do something--
like that.
Although I'm sure it'd be a lot easier
if he just supported me for once.
- [watch beeps]
- Colosso, I told you not to call me at school.
You know I take my education seriously.
[suppressed laugh]
- COLOSSO: [laughing]
- But, for real, don't call me here again.
- COLOSSO: Don't hang up!
Dark Mayhem wants to have your first chronicle review tomorrow.
- Oh, that's terrible.
- I know. We're gonna have to cancel our Bunny 'n Me class.
- No. Bradford took my chronicle and locked it in his office.
- So? Steal it back.
- I tried, but...there was a tiny hiccup.
- [suspenseful music]
*
- [alarm blaring] - [bell ringing]
- PRINCIPAL BRADFORD's VOICE: Max Thunderman...
back away from the office door, you loser.
- [garbage can clattering]
- COLOSSO: If you have nothing to show Dark Mayhem,
you're done.
You'll have to really take your education seriously.
- Ahhhh!
- [laughing]
- But, for real, I need to find a way past the security system.
- Hmmm...let me see...
Ooh, there's a group called the Green Teens
that waters the plants at school and has keys to every room--
including Bradford's office.
- I think I know what I have to do.
- Call me more often?
You never tell me about your day.
- [watch beeps]
- Hank, I knew you had the skills
to clean the gutters by yourself.
- That's right, honey.
I'm just as good at cleaning up this house
as I was at cleaning up crime.
- [heavy thud]
- That'll be tomorrow's project.
- Mom, Dad, check it out.
Billy made me this cool wizard's hat.
- And Nora made me this black pizza-box hat.
- It's a graduation cap, Billy.
Remember this image.
It might be the last time you see it.
- I'm glad you two are having fun,
but I hope you didn't forget to put the scissors away again.
- Yeah, we have to be careful.
Chloe can teleport into any room--
which is why we've been using the bathroom at the library.
- Don't worry. We put the scissors away.
- Yeah, we're not completely irresponsible.
- Good. Now if you'll excuse us,
we have some overdue books to return.
- I didn't put the scissors away. Did you?
- I never do.
- CHLOE: * Found the scissors
- BILLY: What did you do?
- I got a haircut.
- Oh, no, if Mom and Dad see that,
we're gonna be toast.
- I know how to fix this.
Bowl cut. Bam!
- You don't deserve to wear that hat.
- *
- Now the putting green has to have
freshly-cut Bermuda grass.
- Uh, we're trying to have a meeting here.
- Have some respect, Phoebe.
This putting green is for our golf team.
- We don't have a golf team.
- [mockingly] "We don't have a golf team."
Nah.
So, let's talk water hazards.
- He cannot get away with this.
What's our plan to defeat him?
- The elephant who made these shirts
is going to stampede through the school.
No school. No Bradford.
The stink plant lives!
- No, we can't destroy the school.
- [mockingly] "No, we can't destroy the school."
Sorry, I just like when Bradford does that.
- So, I'm guessing we have nothing.
- You have me.
I present page 50, chapter 9, line 3 of the student handbook.
- Oh, Allison, this is where Max pretends to do something nice.
"A student group may reject the principal's plan
if a petition is signed by two-thirds of the student body."
- And then I do something like this...
Wait, that was a good plan. - Yeah, it's good.
And I already drew up a petition
on recycled dolphin- dirtied paper.
- Max, why are you doing this?
- Okay, I know you don't think I have a heart, but I do.
It's small, but it's there.
And when you said I don't support you,
[tiny voice] my little baby heart broke.
- That's really what you're goin' with?
- I don't blame you for being skeptical,
but I just really wanna help you take down Bradford.
- Okay, that, I believe.
All right, fine, you can help us.
Not because I trust you, but we're desperate.
- Good news. The elephant is available.
- [elephant trumpeting]
- Very desperate.
Okay, guys, um... Max is joining the Green Teens.
- So, do I get keys to every room in the school
now that I'm a Green Teen?
- Uh, I ran outta keys.
- Oh, man!
Uh, I just really wanna water the plants.
- *
- Well, tape didn't work, glue didn't work.
How are we gonna put this back on her head?
- How about the staple gun? - Give me that!
Mom and Dad are gonna be so mad
that we changed our cute baby sister
into a teleporting, nubby-haired freak!
- This is what we get for leaving the scissors out.
By the way, I don't think we ever put them away.
- What? We've gotta find them before Chloe gets them.
- [scissors snip] - I got another haircut.
- BILLY & NORA: Ahhhhhh!
- BARB: Everything okay, kids?
- They're coming! Double snuggle.
- We heard yelling. What happened?
- Nothing. Just snuggling with my sisters.
We're tight, yo.
- Two haircuts.
- Tighter than two haircuts, son!
That's what the kids are saying these days.
- Oh, yeah, we know. We're cool.
- Yeah, cooler than two haircuts, son!
- That was close--
and embarrassing for all involved.
There's got to be another way to cover her head.
- How? We're the only people we know who make hats
and I just stapled myself to the cabinet.
- It's amazing that we got all those signatures, Max.
- Now we just have to make back-ups
in case Bradford tears up all our hard work.
Just look at what he did to my application
for an after-school explosives camp.
- Why'd you stop?
- My...shoelace is untied.
Why don't you go ahead and get the door?
- Yes!
* A perfect double knot
- *
- Uh, Phoebe, do you mind making the copies?
I have a leg cramp.
My body's rejecting me doing good deeds.
- Yeah, it's probably in shock like the rest of us.
- [blowing hot air] - [doorknob drops]
- You know what, Max?
I think I owe you an apology.
- You do?
- Yeah. You see, I have a heart, too--
only mine's like normal sized.
And it's used to getting hurt by you,
so, when you asked to help me,
I figured you were up to something, you know?
- I'm listening.
- But, I guess I was wrong.
You really do have my back.
And it feels good.
- Havin' it back feels great.
- You mean having my back? - Sure. Sure.
[powers zapping] - [paper fluttering]
- All right, when Bradford sees what we've done,
it is really gonna wrinkle his khakis.
- These are pleated slacks.
- Oh, that's a killer Bradford impression.
You really nailed his "inner sadness."
[gasping]
Now I have inner sadness.
- Phoebe, what happened to my door?
- What happened to Max?
- Oh. [groaning]
He stole his diary back. - Diary?
Max!
- And you used your Green Teens' key to help him.
- Ma-a-a-a-ax!
- Which means I get to shut down the Green Teens.
And you'll never see that stink plant bloom,
thanks to you and...
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Say it with me...
- BOTH: Max.
- *
- I can't wait to impress the pants off Dark Mayhem.
Wait, he does wear pants under that robe, right?
- I'm just disappointed you got your chronicle back
and no one got hurt.
- Max, how could you do that to me?
- Oh, Phoebe got hurt? Good job!
- Using me to steal your stupid book
back from Bradford is pretty low.
I hope you're proud of yourself.
- I don't wanna brag,
but, yeah, it was pretty awesome, hey.
- Bradford accused me of helping you
and shut down the Green Teens.
Because of you, that stink plant is doomed.
- Phoebe, it's just smelly cabbage.
- It's not just about the plant.
For once, I thought you actually had my back.
- I did have your back.
Then I stabbed ya in it.
- You know what?
Even after all the times you've disappointed me,
I always thought that
deep down inside you there was some good.
Today made me realize
you really are just a bad person.
So, I'm done wasting my time on you.
- Oh, come on.
That's not how the whole Max/Phoebe twin thing works.
Hey...smack this book outta my hand.
- I gotcha, pal. - What...?
- And, so, the Max/Colosso thing begins.
- We did it, Billy.
We made Chloe a hat that'll hide her hair
and won't make Mom and Dad suspicious.
- I look good, baby!
- Yeah, you do.
And I made one for Colosso.
You know he's gonna ask for it.
- What is on Chloe's head?
- It's the new hat we made her out of love
that she wants to wear forever.
Please, let her wear it forever?
- Barb, remember how we wanted to make
"The Many Months of Chloe" calendar.
- Oh, my gosh, she's a perfect "May" right now!
Can you guys make a hat for each month?
- No way! That's like 70 hats.
- Let's just make the hats ourselves, Barb.
- You grab the paper, I'll grab Chloe and the scissors.
- Yay, scissors!
- ALL: [chanting] You can't take our plant!
- Get your nerd chain outta here!
You're not even a club anymore.
- We're a new club--
the Green Teenz with a "z".
- [mockingly] Green Teenz with a "z". Unh!
Beat ya to it, Bradford.
- Principal Bradford, if you wanna bulldoze that plant,
you're gonna have to go through us.
- [laughing]
- You can go through them, right?
- Fine! Joke's on you, kids.
I can stay here all night.
I've got no hobbies, friends...
[voice cracking] ...or family.
- Hold strong.
He's trying to chase us away with tales of his sad life.
- ALL: [chanting] You can't take our plant!
You can't take our plant!
- I'm ready for my close-up.
- All right, we're almost done with the hats.
- We're so dead. We're so dead. We're so dead!
- Look, we're gonna be in trouble no matter what.
Maybe we'll get in less trouble if we just admit what we did.
- The truth?
We're so dead. We're so dead. We're so dead!
- Okay, where are the, uh, scissors?
- Um, you were using them for July.
- Oh, good, Chloe has 'em.
Chloe has them! - Oh!
What have we done?
- Mom, Dad we have a confession to--
- Whatever it is, it can wait.
Chloe cut her hair because we left the scissors out.
- You did?
I mean...you did?
- Don't beat yourself up. This could happen to anyone.
Like, literally, anyone in this room
could have made the same exact mistake.
- Hank, you grab Chloe.
We're going to the hair salon.
- Yay, more scissors!
- NORA & BILLY: * We're so not dead
- Okay, remember, don't smile.
Mayhem hates smiling.
And check your shirt. You've got schmutz on it.
- Got it-- smile on my shirt.
- What?
You've been acting weird
ever since Phoebe let you have it.
- Uh, the only weird thing is
you cleaning my shirt with your paw.
- [computer blooping]
- That's him! That's enough.
- Hello, Max.
Is that schmutz on your shirt?
- Uh, sorry, my dark lord.
I had a very evil bagel.
- It's time for your evil review.
I want to know if you're supervillain material.
- Max, tell him how you betrayed your sister.
- Uh, well...
there's really not much to say.
- Nonsense!
Pushing away family is a huge step
on the road to an evil life.
I pushed my nana into a tiger pit.
And look at how happy I am now.
- Well, my sister always thought
there was good in me somewhere,
so I kinda used that to...
- Come on, Max, spit it out.
- Get outta my head, Phoebe.
- Did you just call me "Phoebe"?
- Uh, Max has girl nicknames for everyone.
He calls me "Sheila." - What are you waiting for?
Tell Dark Mayhem how I'm done wasting my time on you.
- Like I care.
- I've always been there for you
and, evil or not,
that's not something you wanna lose.
- I'm not gonna lose it.
You'll just forgive me like you always do.
- Not this time. Don't you get it?
That whole Max/Phoebe twin thing...
it's over.
- DARK MAYHEM: Who are you talking to?
This is why I hate video chatting.
- Know what? I've gotta get outta here.
- DARK MAYHEM: What?
No one walks out on Dark Mayhem!
- So... how's Mrs. Mayhem?
- DARK MAYHEM: Zip it, Sheila.
- GREEN TEENZ: * So gather round
* The stink plant
* We're gonna win this war
* Huddle round the stink plant *
- * 'Cause Bradford stinks much more! *
- While you guys were making my ears bleed,
I downloaded the bulldozer manual.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Beat it, Johnny Rulebook!
- Oh, no, he's gonna bulldoze us.
Run!
Okay, tying ourselves together was a bad idea.
- [bulldozer engine starts] - Shuffle right!
- So long, stinky!
- [dramatic music]
- Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
- [dramatic music]
- Phoebe, use your telekinesis to stop him.
- I can't get my hands free.
- [dramatic music]
- What...? What is happening?
- Yeah, what is happening?
- Look. It's Max.
- I'm not the only one who can destroy clubs, Bradford.
- [powers zapping] - Oh, no! No!
My golf clubs!
- [golf clubs crunching]
- STUDENTS: [cheering, applauding]
- Our positive energy and clever use of the letter "z"
saved the stink plant!
- Phoebs, listen,
I know you said you're done with
the whole Max/Phoebe twin thing,
but I'm hoping all this changes your mind?
- I don't know, Max. - Wait. Wait. Wait.
I know you don't think I have a heart.
But I do.
It's small... but it's there.
- Still goin' with that?
- This time it's true, okay?
I'm not good at this.
Smack the book outta my hand.
- Well, I guess you did show up.
Okay, this doesn't mean I totally forgive you.
[sighing] [smacking book]
- Thanks.
- We did it, Green Teenz with a "z".
Look, the stink plant is starting to bloom.
- [plant crackling]
- Wow, it's so beautiful.
I can't wait to destroy it!
Fore!
- [liquid spraying]
- [coughing, sputtering]
[whining] It smells like my life.
Ohhh...
- *
- Max, finally!
Do you have any idea what you did
when you walked out on Dark Mayhem?
- I know. I threw away my chance with him.
- No, you impressed the evil pants off him.
- I did?
- He loved that you had the nerve to walk out on him.
He's excited to see what other evil
you fill your chronicle with.
- Yes! I still have an evil future.
- So, why'd you run out so fast?
- Uh...I...
was at a thing that I... had to...
you know?
- PHOEBE: Tell him, Max.
Tell him how much you care about your twin sister.
Fine. I care about you.
- COLOSSO: Huh?
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
- Oh...
- *