- *
- Ready...
Set...
Stretch!
- Aw, are you guys playing Tug 'o Link again?
- The winner gets to sit next to Link at the movies.
- The loser has to sit next to you, Phoebe.
Sorry, you're a popcorn hog.
- BILLY: Ow! - NORA: I win!
How about we play "Hurry Up"?
I love how much fun you have with my siblings.
I've got "party" written all over me.
- Uh, you actually do.
- Well, that's a reminder to pick up the birthday cake--
you know, for Harris' birthday party on Saturday.
- I feel so bad--I hardly even know your brother
and my brother loves you.
- My other brother.
- But, since I have your attention,
fill your eyeballs with the centerpiece
of my new villain uniform.
Behold, the Cloak of--whoa!
- The Cloak of Whoa. I like it.
- Don't you have your own home?
- Dark Mayhem wants to see your evil villain uniform,
not your Friar Tuck costume.
- Let me guess.
You wanna help me design my new villain uniform?
- I thought you'd never ask.
How do you feel about rhinestones?
- What should I get your brother for his birthday?
I don't even know what the little guy's into.
- Well, he is pretty quiet.
So, he's into silent movies, silent auctions,
well, being silent.
Oh, and one normal thing--pirates,
which is why his party is at a pirate-themed laser tag place.
- Oh, you mean las-arrrr-tag.
I may or may not have a punch card.
- Oh, look what I got for the kids to wear.
Right? - Whoa.
That patch makes you look just like your dad
when he was still Evil Man.
I'm taking this off.
- Oh, wait, here's an idea.
Why don't I hang out with Harris on Saturday
while you guys are setting up the surprise party?
It'll be the perfect chance for us to bond.
That'd be a big help, actually.
- I said, hurry up. I'll miss the previews.
- Evil Man's eyepatch
would be perfect for your villain uniform.
It tapped into his brain
and amplified his evil instincts.
- I know.
Without an eyepatch, Evil Man was just Cranky Man.
Too bad he destroyed it.
- You could build your own,
if you could find its power source--evilinium.
But that stuff's harder to find than a talking lady bunny.
- If it's out there, we'll find it.
- No, the evilinium.
You'll never find love.
Lady bunny...
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life *
- Hey, Phoebs, thanks again for watching Harris
while I set up for his party and, listen,
don't be bummed if you don't get him out of his shell.
- Please, I'm great with shells.
I once got a turtle outta his.
It bit me right after, but still...
- Remember, the party's tonight at 6:00.
And, shhh, it's a surprise. - Okay.
- Come on, Harris. Don't be shy.
- Hey, there, Harris.
- Link, why is your girlfriend trying to punch me?
She's not trying to punch you.
You're not trying to punch him, are you?
No, it's a... it's a fist bump.
Okay, don't worry.
This is how things started with the turtle, too.
- You tried to fist bump a turtle?
No wonder it bit you.
Don't worry, okay? I've got this.
- Well, sure you do, but just in case,
here's a list of safe hand gestures.
Bye, buddy. - No way, babe. Why would--
- HANK: Hi!
- Dad, get out! Get out!
It's okay, Harris. The loud man's gone.
So, um...
Oh, Link tells me you have fire powers.
I do, too. Check it out.
Your turn.
- No, really, go.
- That's it. That's my power.
Fire pinky.
- That is super impressive!
- My mom calls me her "Widdle Night Wight."
- Uh, anyway...
Oh, I hear you like pirates and every pirate needs a parrot.
So I pulled some strings and got us...
a raven!
They were out of parrots.
- Aren't ravens kinda dangerous?
Harris, I am the Protector of Hiddenville.
I am pretty sure I can handle some silly bird.
- PHOEBE: Oh! Oh!
And we're hugging already.
Yay.
- How's my replica of Evil Man's eyepatch comin'?
- Great! Just need to add a few more rhinestones.
Don't we sparkle, Max?
- In the worst way.
I need these things off my patch.
Now I located the last of the evilinium.
But it's heavily guarded by native tribes.
- So, you just need to find someone
dumb enough to go get it.
Got it!
Easy. Just like you said.
I didn't even need the shield you gave me.
- All right, the evilinium needs a few hours
to charge the patch, but once it's fully powered,
it'll squash all the good instincts
Mom and Dad keep sayin' are in here somewhere.
And now we wait. Simple.
- Well, since we have time,
let's go shopping for your villain uniform.
But, first, watch me sparkle!
- COLOSSO: Yeah!
- Hey, sweetie.
Why are the sandwiches Mom packed for your picnic on fire?
- The picnic got boring--
which gave me time to work on my trick shot.
Check this one out.
Off the window, off the garbage can,
melting the juice box.
- Nora Thunderman, while impressive,
shooting lasers across the yard is very dangerous.
- That's what I said!
- You have to be more careful using your powers, Nora.
Your trick shots have cost me a stack of sandwiches,
the flat screen TV, and my lucky sweatpants.
- Yes, it was definitely Nora
who destroyed your lucky sweat pants.
Now, go, clean up this mess.
- Fine. I will.
After I pull off the mother of all trick shots.
You're gonna wanna come outta
your garbage 'hood for this, Billy.
Off Wong's house, off that bird feeder,
off the power lines,
nothin' but watermelon.
- CHLOE: Hi, guys.
- I almost lasered Chloe.
- You need a time out, lady.
- The whole, uh, bird thing was quite an adventure, huh?
Bet you're gonna be "raven" about it later.
Get it? - Yeah, I get it.
Can I go home?
Home?
We're having so much fun.
- PHOEBE: Bird!
- Oh, don't go down there.
That's Max's-- - Whoa!
It's just like a secret bunker
from one of my pirate books.
- Uh, well, yeah, I was gonna say...
don't go down there 'cause that's Max's
sister's secret bunker.
But guess what? I'm Max's sister.
Let's check it out.
- Whoa! It's like a giant treasure chest.
Is this all yours?
- Yep, it's definitely all mine--Phoebe's.
- All right, let's set sail for Harris' P-arrrr-ty!
You know, my pirate impression
really deserves a gold st-arrrr!
- Kids, hurry up, so your father can stop talking like this.
- Billy, that's not what a pirate looks like.
- I'm protecting myself from Laser Girl.
I don't wanna get blown up like a melon.
- I've said too much.
- I have an announcement to make.
Henry, Barbara, William,
whatever name "Chloe" is short for.
Yeah, I'm right.
- I've thought about it
and I was being careless with my powers.
So, I've decided to never use them again.
Carry on.
- Whew, it looks like I won't be needing this anymore.
But I will need pants.
- Something dangerous! Put it down!
Oh, hey, look what I found--
in my own room.
- I love eyepatches.
- And I love that we're bonding.
- COLOSSO: You are gonna look great
in your new villain uniform, Maxie.
- Are there enemies invading your bunker?
- Uh, yes. You go guard pirate rock
and I'll go guard pirate slide.
Get out me secret bunker, ya scallywag.
- What are you doin' in here, dorgeous?
- Okay, nothing weird.
- The bird can stay. You have to go.
- I'm sorry, it's just I've tried everything
with Link's little brother and, believe it or not,
he finds me a little boring.
- Buh! Buh! Buh!
So, I told him that this was my secret bunker
and all of your gadgets were hidden treasures.
- Yeah, and look how much fun he's having
wearing the eyepatch.
My evil eyepatch?
- You mean that harmless little thing on his head
that's glowing an ominous red color?
That's new. - Uh-huh.
- So's this!
- Well, at least somebody gets to sparkle in this place.
- You recreated Evil Man's eyepatch?
- Now it's sending millions of hate-filled neurons
right into his innocent little brain.
Lucky kid.
Harris is like evil now?
The kid doesn't have an evil bone in his body.
- Uh...
- Evil. Got it.
What smells good?
Whoa, my biscuits are burning!!!
- Hey, Harris, stop!
That's a custom-made table.
- But it's fun.
Okay, how are we gonna destroy that eyepatch
without hurting Harris?
- There will be no destroying the patch, Phoebe.
- Because I had to risk my life to get that.
I mean, I risked Billy's life, but still...
lives were risked, Phoebe.
- We have to fix this.
You are the one that lied to Harris
about this being your bunker.
- Well... - It's clearly an evil lair.
- You lied to me-- and froze me?
- Okay, I know that that sounds bad, but--
Whoa, that is a really big night light.
- Oh! Colosso, you said this was fireproof.
- I know and now you have proof that it catches on fire.
- MAX & PHOEBE: Run!
- Oh, I hope your thundertanium door holds him off.
Um, are these notes from Mom?
- No! They're my evil reminders.
"Put the empty milk carton back in the fridge."
and "Don't flush the toilet," that sort of thing.
This coupon is good for one Mommy-Maxie hug."
- In my defense, I never cashed it in.
- No. - Exactly.
I think he wore himself out.
- Or Colosso sold us out and told him
to climb up the slide and open the hatch.
- He wouldn't do that, would he?
Oh, no, he's out.
- Thanks a lot, Colosso.
- COLOSSO: You know what I am.
- Keep your eyes out. He could be anywhere.
- MAX & PHOEBE:
- Oh, no, it's time for Harris' surprise party.
- It's time for Harris' surprise par--
I love surprises!
Did you guys just ruin the surprise?
- No, not all of it.
We didn't tell you about the pirates or laser tag or--
I'm gonna stop talking now.
- You ruined my surprise party
and now I'm gonna ruin it for everyone else!
- MAX: Oh!
My swoosh! He got my swoosh?
Phoebe, did he hurt my swoosh?
- Oh, we have to stop Harris
before Link finds out I turned him evil--
and before anyone gets hurt.
Pretend I said those in reverse order.
- All right, I just texted Nora and got us a ride.
All aboard the Chloe Train, choo-choo!
- Ain't no party like a laser party!
- Don't head into the arena yet. Harris isn't here.
We have to yell "surprise!"
- Okay, as soon as Harris arrives,
we'll isolate him and destroy the patch.
- We're not destroying the patch.
You're forgetting that part and it worries me.
All right.
I can modify one of the laser taggers to shoot real lasers--
so I can disarm the patch.
- LINK: Stop! - Link's coming!
- Hey, hey, those aren't your presents.
This isn't a vacation for you!
- Thanks to Chloe we should have
a little bit of time before Harris shows up.
- All right. - Or he stole a scooter.
He's here!
- Let's heat this party up.
- Aw, it should be me all one-eyed and menacing.
- Come on!
- Suit up, Nora.
For one night only, we're both Laser Girl.
- I told you. I'm off lasers.
Real ones and fake ones.
Next you're gonna tell me those teenaged girls
texting on their cell phones aren't even real pirates.
- So, are you ready to talk about
this whole "no powers" thing?
- Nothing to talk about. I'm retired.
I'm just gonna kick back and relax--like Dad.
Your father does a lot more
than just "kick back and relax."
- I think Dad's chair broke. - No.
I mean why aren't you using your lasers anymore?
- Mm-hm.
- One of them almost zapped Chloe.
Oh, I see.
And now you're afraid to use your superpower.
Honey, I get why you're scared.
But the answer's just being more careful,
not giving up your powers completely.
- I don't know, Mom.
- Well, I do.
You are a superhero, Nora.
There's gonna come a time when people will need your help
and I know you'll do the right thing.
If you ever doubt yourself, just read this.
- "Your heart is bigger than your swoosh"?
- Oh, sorry, that one's for Max.
This one's yours.
- "When a hero falls,
it's the getting back up that makes them super."
- You might need this note more than I do.
- All right, I couldn't find Harris
but I know he's in here somewhere.
- All right. I'm about to fire real lasers.
Better get these kids to safety.
- Don't worry. We've got a laser tag champ clearin' 'em out.
- BILLY: [zooming, shooting lasers]
Finally, a game no one can beat me at.
- Yeah, about that.
- Sorry. Don't worry.
Another game starts in 15 minutes--
if this place is still standing.
- All right, now that everyone's out,
where is this freakish little fireball?
- HARRIS: That was rude!
- MAX: Whoa!
Why does he hate my clothes?
- Harris, I'm not gonna fight you, okay?
All I wanted was for us to be close,
but I took it too far.
This is all my fault.
The lying to me?
The freezing me? The ruining my surprise?
- Hey, don't forget about our raven.
He was a "hoot!"
- Shush! Ravens don't hoot and we are not bonding!
- You're right--we're blasting that eyepatch
off your adorable little face.
Oh...
Remember when Phoebe lied to you?
- I'm about to throw a fireball at you.
Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin the surprise?
- Ow!
- Of course. We have our own laser--with a bow on it.
Nora, how did you know we needed help?
- Billy told me and I knew it was time to do the right thing.
- Of course you did. You're a superhero.
- And I'm a supervillain.
- Quick, Nora, knock off the eyepatch.
- Gently.
- Cute lasers.
I'll call you when I need a mole removed.
- Let's see if he thinks this trick shot's cute.
Off the mirror, off the treasure chest--
- Less yappy, more zappy.
- Nora, you did it!
You were too evil for this world, Patchy.
- I'm fine now.
Thank you for saving me from that evil eyepatch.
- Harris, how did you sneak by us?
I mean, surprise!
Aw, look at you guys. Oh, let me get a pic.
Here, put these eyepatches on. - Put those away!
- Never again!
- Okay, well then, let's get you a piece of cake
and you guys can tell me all about your day.
- Actually--
- Actually, it was the best day ever.
I'll save you a seat next to me, Phoebe.
- Wow, he really likes you.
Guess he really "warmed up" to me.
- Is there something burning in here?
- Cake time!
- Well, hope you're proud of yourself, Nora.
You torched my eyepatch gettin' your first superhero save.
Try Saves.
You, Phoebe, Harris, the kids at the party,
probably the whole city.
- Okay, calm down, zappy. - Cheer up.
You may have lost your patch,
but I think you've found your new uniform.
Whoa.
You're right. I look super evil.
Oh, and my swoosh has totally bounced back.
- Hank, is that a new mole on your neck?
- Oh, got it.
- Nice to have you back, Laser Girl.
- CHLOE: What a mess.
- Does somebody want to explain this?
- Does somebody want to redeem this?
Mommy-Maxie hug!
- I'll get the broom. - I'll call animal control.
- *