- I love relaxing with my girlfriend.
!
Get your hand out your butt and in the game!
- I am one lucky guy.
- Oh, it's my parents again.
- You gave your parents your real number?
- They wanna know why we're not watching the game
with them at our house.
Tell me the truth. I won't be mad.
Are you avoiding meeting my parents?
- Tsk. Yes.
- Aha! I knew it! You jerk!
- Allison, I'm...a rebel.
Whenever I'm around adults, especially parents,
I just start insulting them.
- Ha! Ha! Ha! You guys watching the hockey game?
- We are, but you and your pit stains are not invited,
so back away from the chips and move along.
- We will speak later, young man--
after I change my shirt.
I can't help myself. It's a gift and a curse.
I definitely can't meet your parents tomorrow.
- You don't have a choice this time.
My mom and dad want you
to come to the grand opening of their business.
They said if you don't show, I can't see you anymore.
Oh, why are they being such babies about this?
- To them, no boyfriend is good enough
for their sweet, little Alli-Walli.
- Me! Dummy!
Please! Don't give them an excuse to break us up.
Fine, I'll go to their grand opening.
- Great! I'm gonna call and tell them.
- MAX:
There's no way this ends well.
- * Yes there is!
After you smack-talk Alli-Walli's parents,
I get my best friend back.
- That's not happening. What? Ooh!
- You can't be seen up here.
- Bunnies before honeys!
Ahhhh!
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life *
- *
- Allison, bad news.
I can't meet your parents tomorrow.
I have a--
- You don't know me.
- Max, you're gonna be fine.
My parents are normal people.
They're just a little intense.
I mean, it's a miracle I'm so laid back.
Hey, this is a school, not a half-pipe, ya half-wit!
- I cannot lose her.
- Oh, Mr. Cunningham,
you are as wise as you are fashionable.
Phoebe.
Phoebe!
- Phoebe, uh, I need some help.
- Max, I'm literally in the middle of a tour right now.
- Oh, uh, I'll finish it for you.
Those are the lockers, that's upstairs,
and that's the nurse's office.
You smell sick.
- I know I have a problem, I can't talk to adults,
which is why I need you to go with me
to meet Allison's parents tomorrow.
- And that would help you how?
- Easy. I'll keep quiet so I don't say anything insulting,
and you charm them with your goody-two-shoes nonsense,
and since we're twins, they'll think I'm goody-two-shoes, too.
- Max, if you are lying, that means you're not trying.
That's exactly the nonsense I'm talking about.
Please? Allison's parents are looking
for any reason to break us up.
Okay. Okay.
I'll go with you.
But only because Allison single-handedly
cut down your pranking by 40 percent.
Pfft! Nerd.
- As for Allison's parents, that'll be a piece of cake.
Parents love me.
Oh, I've even got some killer new dad jokes.
- I'm sure.
- Hey, sure, I'm Phoebe.
- That wasn't funny.
- MR. CUNNINGHAM:
This dad gets it.
- *
- CHLOE: Whee!
- That was a great dinner.
- Oh, it sure was, especially the grilled--
- BARB: Oh!
- Your father has super-hiccups.
They're like regular hiccups, but they destroy buildings--
and beach houses we dreamed of growing old in.
- First of all, that house was built on a sandy cliff.
Second of all, I don't have the super-hiccups.
I had one...
and now it's gone.
- Like my beach house.
- Ooh, "Cutesy Cow" is on.
- BILLY & NORA:
- Can we all watch it together?
- BARB: Of course we can, sweetie.
- CUTESY COW: Hey, there, kids, it's Cutesy Cow.
Moo wants a hug?
- CHLOE, BARB & HANK: The Moo Crew!
- Cutesy Cow is lame.
- Yeah, back when Billy and I were little kids,
we had a way better animal hero--
- BILLY & NORA: Hootie the Owl!
- Hootie was cool and he flew by his own rules.
- I don't remember Hootie having any rules.
- Hey, Billy, let's find our old Hootie DVDs
and show them to Chloe.
- No, you're not. You wouldn't find them anyway.
I hid those a long time ago.
- It's cute when they try to hide things.
Let's show this to Chloe before Cutesy Cow ruins her.
Look, she's learning how to brush her teeth.
- * Moo-moo-moove your brush
* Up and down your gums
* Then be sure to brush your hair *
* Hygiene can be fun *
Okay, now this cow is just making up words.
- *
- MEN:
- Allison's parents opened an MMA gym?
- I'm out!
- Hey! Don't panic.
Just remember I'm the one doing all the talking.
I just have to look up some fancy MMA lingo like, oh,
"crush windpipe," uh, "welterweight,"
and, ooh, "grappling dummy."
- You're a grappling dummy.
Sorry. Habit. Please keep helping me.
- Hey, Max! - Hey!
- Uh, she invited herself.
So lonely and pathetic.
- Come on, my parents are over here.
- And then he tried a triangle choke,
so, I snapped his back in three places!
Alli-Walli!
- Hi, Mom, Dad, this is Max.
- And, uh, Phoebe, Max's twin sister.
I just love MMA.
You two look like a couple of awesome welterweights.
- Oh, yes, we are. You know your stuff.
I'm Debbie. This is Gary.
- So, we finally get to meet
our little girl's so-called boyfriend!
Yo, Mullet Head,
1985 called and said that haircut was lame in 1985!
- Max, anything you wanna say?
I wanna ask your mom
if her face got hit by a makeup truck.
- Max!
- Uh...
my sister's here!
- Ha. Ha.
Um, so, guys, um, what's more fulfilling--
opening your own business or crushing someone's windpipe?
- GARY & DEBBIE: Windpipe!
- Jinx! You owe me a protein shake.
- PHOEBE: Ha.
- So, Phoebe's talking to my parents.
When are you gonna step up?
- Uh, as soon as Phoebe lets me get a word in.
Grappling dummy, am I right?
Anyway, let's eat!
- *
- CUTESY COW: Who wants a hug?
- CHLOE: The Moo Crew! - NORA & BILLY: The Moo Crew...
- Even the house hates this show.
- BARB: Okay, Hank, outside now!
We've gotta cure you of your super-hiccups
before you shake the house to its foundation.
- Barb, that was definitely the last--
- Kids, be good. We're goin' outside.
- Billy, this is our chance to show Chloe "Hootie the Owl."
Chloe, we have something for you.
- Cool! An owl.
- Not just any owl. Check this out.
- * Hoot hoot! Hootie don't care *
* Hoot hoot! Hootie don't care *
* What do you think about that **
- Excuse me, Hootie,
could you please help me carry my groceries?
- Hootie don't care!
- *
- Ha. Ha. That was funny.
- I don't remember Hootie harassing grandmas.
- Hootie!
You can't just eat that candy without paying.
That's stealing.
- Hootie don't care.
- *
- * Hoot Hoot! Hootie don't care *
* Hoot! Hoot! Hootie don't care *
* What do you think about that **
- Maybe we shouldn't have shown that to Chloe.
- She's a good kid.
I don't think we have anything to worry about.
Chloe don't care!
- Chloe don't care!
- This is your fault.
- Chloe don't care! Chloe don't care!
- See how my arm is hanging out of the socket?
Best day ever!
- Once again, in this upside-down world,
somebody likes Phoebe.
We're good here. Later.
- Oh, you can't leave.
My dad still wants to talk to you.
- GARY: Hey, boy!
- I wanna talk to you.
Weird hair!
- Hey, Max.
Weird face!
Phoebe, they're closing in.
- Debbie, Gary, you know, I've actually done
a little bit of fighting myself.
Uh, let me show you some of my moves.
- No, I haven't had a chance to talk to the elf yet.
- I have to show you now.
Here, why don't you stand over here,
and I'll go smack this shirtless guy around.
Ha! Ha! Bah!
- Phoebe just keeps buttin' in.
I've gotta go.
Great job, Phoebe.
- MAX: Oh!
- This gym is weak!
- DEBBIE: But, wait. Don't go.
- I am so sorry.
- You two ruined our grand opening.
- I'm sure they didn't mean it.
- No, I want the Blundermans outta here now,
and you will never see Max again.
- Okay, this seems like the perfect time to remind you...
this was your idea.
- Max, I-- What is happening?
- COLOSSO:
Watching a little hockey,
makin' Max forget all about Allison.
Max, tell her how much fun
you're havin' with your pally-wally.
- I'm not and you're this close
to losing your upstairs privileges.
- Anyway, I think I can convince
Allison's parents to let you two date again.
- Oh, are you gonna kick 'em down a flight of stairs?
Stay away from them!
- Fine. But you're gonna come crawlin' back
for help, mister, and when you do...
I will totally help you 'cause I'm so, so sorry.
- Gee, some people have no idea when they're trying too hard.
So, where are you gonna take me for dinner, Maxy
- It just went from weird to what?
I'm gonna go get Allison back.
- Heck, I shoulda worn heels.
- Well, Hank, we've tried everything else
to get rid of your super-hiccups.
Hopefully, this will turn things around.
- Ah, you can count on this old Thunderman trick.
We'll be back inside the house before you can say--
- Or we could just live in the driveway from now on.
- We'll be at this as long as it takes.
Billy and Nora are doing a great job watching Chloe.
- BILLY & NORA: Where's Chloe?
I thought you had her!
- CHLOE: I don't care!
- We've gotta fix her before Mom and Dad find out about this.
- Good luck with that. Hootie's her master now.
- No way. We've just gotta put our foot down.
Chloe Thunderman, get up here this instant!
- We've had enough of this, young lady.
- No more "Chloe don't care," and no more Hootie.
- That was a mistake.
- And stay out!
- Chloe! You can't lock us out.
- Chloe don't care!
- You showed her Hootie the--
Owww...
- It's pronounced "Owl."
- We specifically told you not to show her--
Hey, my super-hiccups are gone.
- Just like we planned.
- *
- GARY:
- All right, time to win back Allison
by not talking so her parents don't find out I'm a jerk.
- What are you doin' here, Leprechaun?
- DEBBIE: "I have laryngitis and can't talk."
- GARY: "I want to be Alison's boyfriend again."
Forget it! Not after what you and your sister did.
"Phoebe isn't my real sister.
She was raised by a pack of wolves"?
- DEBBIE: "She went back to her wolf family
and you'll never see her again."
- Hello, it's me again.
Gary, Debbie, I messed up yesterday, not Max.
- Phoebe, what are you doing here?
- Wait! You talked.
- GARY: "The laryngitis comes and goes."
- Let me make things right.
Come on, open up the fighting cage
in your heart and let me in.
- You wouldn't last two seconds in my heart cage.
Come on, I'll do anything.
- Actually, Gary, we do need a sparring partner for Daisy.
- You need someone to spar with Daisy?
I'll spar with Daisy.
Who's Daisy?
- Daisy is a world- class MMA fighter.
You couldn't handle her.
- I took you guys down--
by accident.
Please let me help you.
- Daisy will quit our gym
if we don't give her somebody to pound on.
We can't afford to lose another star.
- Fine. Suit up and maybe we'll forgive you.
But you're still not in my heart cage!
- Phoebe, don't. - Let me do this, Max.
After they forgive me,
maybe they'll reconsider you and Allison.
- But my plan was working.
- What a stupid plan!
- All right, your turn. Please, don't mess this up.
I won't.
Hey, I'm a superhero, remember?
Besides, how bad could this "Daisy" be?
- It's Crazy Daisy!
- The full name woulda been helpful earlier.
- Chloe, come on, we've been out here long enough.
We need to talk about this.
- Chloe don't care!
- All right, that's it. I am breaking the door down.
- Hank, it doesn't matter if we're inside or outside.
The problem is she's stopped caring.
We need to find something that she cares about again.
- Chloe loves watching "Cutesy Cow" with us.
We can do that. - That's a great idea, Nora.
Look, everyone, it's "Cutesy Cow".
Let's watch it together as a family.
- CUTESY COW: Who wants a hug?
- ALL: The Moo Crew!
- Don't answer it, Mom.
We all know what she's going to say.
- BARB:
- Well, now what--
ah...ah... - Uh-oh.
Hank, you sound like you're coming down with a cold.
- No, no, no way. I am Thunderma-a-a-a...
Oh! Oh! Oh! - He's gonna super-sneeze!
- NORA & BILLY: Uh-oh!
- Hold onto something!
- Acho-o-o-o-o-o!
- Chloe, you came outside.
- I was worried about my family.
- Aw, that's sweet, honey, but Daddy's fine.
- Not you--them.
She cares again.
- That's grea-a-a-t.
- DAISY:
- Max, what are you doing here?
- Yeah, we came to make things right with your parents,
and I'm afraid this was the only way.
Get crazy, Daisy!
- So, she's in there fighting for our relationship.
Shouldn't that be you?
- Well, I can't risk my face.
You know I have the cheeks of a Norse god
and the lips of an Amazonian princess.
- You don't think I know that?
What I meant was I want you to have
an actual conversation with my parents.
At least give them a chance to see what I see.
Fine.
Hanging with Colosso was never this hard.
Weird, but not this hard.
Gary, Debbie, a word?
All right, here's the deal.
I'm worried if I opened my mouth,
you guys wouldn't like me, but,
you know what, you already don't like me.
So, I'm just gonna tell you how I really feel.
- Oh, no, he's gonna ruin all my hard work.
Is that my leg?
- DAISY: Yeah!
- The truth is...
I really like your daughter...
and you splitting us up...
has broken my heart...
and I don't even know I had one
until I met Allison.
- Did you just talk to my parents
without insulting them?
What have you done to me?
- PHOEBE: She's changing you for the better! Oh!
- You know, Max, now that you've told me how you really feel,
it changes nothing!
You'll never ever see my Alli-Walli again!
- He said "you'll never ever see my Alli-Walli again!"
- I just don't understand parents.
Everything I saw on TV told me this would work.
- What is wrong with you guys?
That was really hard for him.
He never talks to adults without insulting them,
but he didn't make fun of you.
- Yeah, I didn't say anything about
that hat that y'all be callin' a haircut!
Or her paintball face!
Was that out loud?
- PHOEBE: Very lo-o-o-o-ud!
Whoa!
- The thing is--Max is a great boyfriend.
He's not like other boys.
He's fun, he's smart.
One day, he's gonna take over the world.
- Well, it is on my vision board.
- I'm sorry, but you can't treat me
like your little Alli-Walli forever.
- She's right, Gare-Bear.
- Well, I suppose if we have to let you date somebody,
it might as well be this...
tiny woodland creature...
even if he was completely wrong about my sweet-sweet mullet.
- PHOEBE:
- So sweet.
- Thanks, Mom and Dad.
- Oh, Phoebe, you can get outta there.
Allison and I are back together.
- Finally!
This gym rocks!
- Thank you so much!
- Don't call me "so much."
Ma name's "Phoebe."
- Ha! Good one.
- Ah, still got it.
- Whoa!
- *