- I love relaxing with my girlfriend.
- He missed the puck?!
Get your hand out your butt and in the game!
- I am one lucky guy.
- [cellphone blips]
- Oh, it's my parents again.
- You gave your parents your real number?
- They wanna know why we're not watching the game
with them at our house.
Tell me the truth. I won't be mad.
Are you avoiding meeting my parents?
- Tsk. Yes.
- Aha! I knew it! You jerk!
- Allison, I'm...a rebel.
Whenever I'm around adults, especially parents,
I just start insulting them.
- Ha! Ha! Ha! You guys watching the hockey game?
- We are, but you and your pit stains are not invited,
so back away from the chips and move along.
- We will speak later, young man--
after I change my shirt.
- See? I can't help myself. It's a gift and a curse.
I definitely can't meet your parents tomorrow.
- [cellphone blips]
- You don't have a choice this time.
My mom and dad want you
to come to the grand opening of their business.
They said if you don't show, I can't see you anymore.
- What?
[whining] Oh, why are they being such babies about this?
- To them, no boyfriend is good enough
for their sweet, little Alli-Walli.
- Who's that? - Me! Dummy!
Please! Don't give them an excuse to break us up.
- [heavy sigh]
Fine, I'll go to their grand opening.
- Great! I'm gonna call and tell them.
- MAX: [heavy sigh]
There's no way this ends well.
- * Yes there is!
After you smack-talk Alli-Walli's parents,
I get my best friend back.
- That's not happening. - What? What? Ooh!
- You can't be seen up here.
- Bunnies before honeys!
Ahhhh!
- *
* What you see
* Is not what you get
* Livin' our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in
* Bet you never guessed
* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *
* Just like all the rest
* A picture perfect family *
* Is what we try to be
* Look closer, you might see *
* The crazy things we do
* This isn't make believe *
* It's our reality
* Just your average family
* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *
* Livin' a double life *
- *
- Allison, bad news.
I can't meet your parents tomorrow.
I have a-- - Crazy excuse you just made up?
- You don't know me.
- Max, you're gonna be fine.
My parents are normal people.
They're just a little intense.
I mean, it's a miracle I'm so laid back.
Hey, this is a school, not a half-pipe, ya half-wit!
- I cannot lose her.
- Oh, Mr. Cunningham,
you are as wise as you are fashionable.
[laughing] - [groans] Phoebe.
Phoebe!
- What?
- Phoebe, uh, I need some help.
- Max, I'm literally in the middle of a tour right now.
- Oh, uh, I'll finish it for you.
Those are the lockers, that's upstairs,
and that's the nurse's office.
You smell sick.
- What is wrong with you?
- I know I have a problem, I can't talk to adults,
which is why I need you to go with me
to meet Allison's parents tomorrow.
- And that would help you how?
- Easy. I'll keep quiet so I don't say anything insulting,
and you charm them with your goody-two-shoes nonsense,
and since we're twins, they'll think I'm goody-two-shoes, too.
- Max, if you are lying, that means you're not trying.
- See? That's exactly the nonsense I'm talking about.
Please? Allison's parents are looking
for any reason to break us up.
- [sighing] Okay. Okay.
I'll go with you.
But only because Allison single-handedly
cut down your pranking by 40 percent.
- You keep stats on that?
Pfft! Nerd.
- As for Allison's parents, that'll be a piece of cake.
Parents love me.
Oh, I've even got some killer new dad jokes.
- I'm sure.
- Hey, sure, I'm Phoebe. [snorting laugh]
- That wasn't funny.
- MR. CUNNINGHAM: [laughing]
- See? This dad gets it. [laughing]
- *
- CHLOE: Whee!
- That was a great dinner.
- Oh, it sure was, especially the grilled--
[hiccups] - [thunderous rumbling]
- [vase shatters] - BARB: Oh!
- What was that?
- Your father has super-hiccups.
They're like regular hiccups, but they destroy buildings--
and beach houses we dreamed of growing old in.
- First of all, that house was built on a sandy cliff.
Second of all, I don't have the super-hiccups.
I had one...
and now it's gone.
- Like my beach house.
- Ooh, "Cutesy Cow" is on. - [banjo music]
- BILLY & NORA: [groaning]
- Can we all watch it together?
- BARB: Of course we can, sweetie.
- CUTESY COW: Hey, there, kids, it's Cutesy Cow.
Moo wants a hug?
- CHLOE, BARB & HANK: The Moo Crew!
- Cutesy Cow is lame.
- Yeah, back when Billy and I were little kids,
we had a way better animal hero--
- BILLY & NORA: Hootie the Owl!
- Hootie was cool and he flew by his own rules.
- I don't remember Hootie having any rules.
- Hey, Billy, let's find our old Hootie DVDs
and show them to Chloe.
- No, you're not. You wouldn't find them anyway.
I hid those a long time ago. - HANK: [chuckling]
- BILLY: [zooming]
- It's cute when they try to hide things.
Let's show this to Chloe before Cutesy Cow ruins her.
Look, she's learning how to brush her teeth.
- * Moo-moo-moove your brush
* Up and down your gums
* Then be sure to brush your hair *
* Hygiene can be fun *
- [kisses]
- Hygiene? Okay, now this cow is just making up words.
- *
- MEN: [martial arts grunting]
- Allison's parents opened an MMA gym?
- MAN: [roaring] - [heavy thud]
- I'm out!
- Hey! Don't panic.
Just remember I'm the one doing all the talking.
I just have to look up some fancy MMA lingo like, oh,
"crush windpipe," uh, "welterweight,"
and, ooh, "grappling dummy."
- You're a grappling dummy. [scoffs]
Sorry. Habit. Please keep helping me.
- Hey, Max! - Hey!
- And Phoebe?
- Uh, she invited herself.
[under his breath] So lonely and pathetic.
- Come on, my parents are over here.
- And then he tried a triangle choke,
so, I snapped his back in three places!
Alli-Walli!
- Hi, Mom, Dad, this is Max.
- And, uh, Phoebe, Max's twin sister.
I just love MMA.
You two look like a couple of awesome welterweights.
- Oh, yes, we are. You know your stuff.
I'm Debbie. This is Gary.
- So, we finally get to meet
our little girl's so-called boyfriend!
- MAX: [gasps]
[inner voice] Yo, Mullet Head,
1985 called and said that haircut was lame in 1985!
- Max, anything you wanna say?
- [inner voice] I wanna ask your mom
if her face got hit by a makeup truck.
- Max!
- Uh...
my sister's here!
- Ha. Ha.
Um, so, guys, um, what's more fulfilling--
opening your own business or crushing someone's windpipe?
- GARY & DEBBIE: Windpipe!
- Jinx! You owe me a protein shake.
- PHOEBE: Ha.
- So, Phoebe's talking to my parents.
When are you gonna step up?
- Uh, as soon as Phoebe lets me get a word in.
Grappling dummy, am I right?
Anyway, let's eat!
- *
- CUTESY COW: Who wants a hug?
- CHLOE: The Moo Crew! - NORA & BILLY: The Moo Crew...
- HANK: [hiccups] - [thunderous rumbling]
- [objects clattering]
- Even the house hates this show.
- BARB: Okay, Hank, outside now!
We've gotta cure you of your super-hiccups
before you shake the house to its foundation.
- Barb, that was definitely the last--
[hiccups] - [thunderous rumbling]
- [plaster crumbling]
- Kids, be good. We're goin' outside.
- Billy, this is our chance to show Chloe "Hootie the Owl."
Chloe, we have something for you.
- Cool! An owl.
- Not just any owl. Check this out.
- * Hoot hoot! Hootie don't care *
* Hoot hoot! Hootie don't care *
* What do you think about that **
- Excuse me, Hootie,
could you please help me carry my groceries?
- Hootie don't care!
- [groceries clattering]
- *
- Ha. Ha. That was funny.
- I don't remember Hootie harassing grandmas.
- [chomping] - Hootie!
You can't just eat that candy without paying.
That's stealing.
- Hootie don't care.
- [candy clattering]
- *
- * Hoot Hoot! Hootie don't care *
* Hoot! Hoot! Hootie don't care *
* What do you think about that **
- Maybe we shouldn't have shown that to Chloe.
- She's a good kid.
I don't think we have anything to worry about.
- CHLOE: [whooshing]
Chloe don't care!
[whooshing]
[scribbling]
Chloe don't care!
[whooshing]
- [lamp clatters]
- Chloe don't care!
- This is your fault.
- Chloe don't care! Chloe don't care!
- See how my arm is hanging out of the socket?
Best day ever!
- Once again, in this upside-down world,
somebody likes Phoebe.
We're good here. Later.
- Oh, you can't leave.
My dad still wants to talk to you.
- GARY: Hey, boy! - [cage rattling]
- I wanna talk to you.
- [inner voice] Weird hair!
- Hey, Max.
- [inner voice] Weird face!
Phoebe, they're closing in.
- Debbie, Gary, you know, I've actually done
a little bit of fighting myself.
Uh, let me show you some of my moves.
- No, I haven't had a chance to talk to the elf yet.
- I have to show you now.
Here, why don't you stand over here,
and I'll go smack this shirtless guy around.
Ha! Ha! Bah!
- Phoebe just keeps buttin' in.
I've gotta go.
Great job, Phoebe.
- PHOEBE: [grunts] - [heavy thud]
- MAX: Oh!
- This gym is weak!
- ALL: [mixed comments]
- DEBBIE: But, wait. Don't go.
- I am so sorry.
- You two ruined our grand opening.
- I'm sure they didn't mean it.
- No, I want the Blundermans outta here now,
and you will never see Max again.
- Okay, this seems like the perfect time to remind you...
this was your idea.
- Max, I-- What is happening?
- COLOSSO: [chuckling]
Watching a little hockey,
makin' Max forget all about Allison.
Max, tell her how much fun
you're havin' with your pally-wally.
- I'm not and you're this close
to losing your upstairs privileges.
- Anyway, I think I can convince
Allison's parents to let you two date again.
- Oh, are you gonna kick 'em down a flight of stairs?
Stay away from them!
- Fine. But you're gonna come crawlin' back
for help, mister, and when you do...
I will totally help you 'cause I'm so, so sorry.
- Gee, some people have no idea when they're trying too hard.
So, where are you gonna take me for dinner, Maxy-Waxy?
- It just went from weird to what?
I'm gonna go get Allison back.
- Heck, I shoulda worn heels.
- Well, Hank, we've tried everything else
to get rid of your super-hiccups.
Hopefully, this will turn things around.
- Ah, you can count on this old Thunderman trick.
We'll be back inside the house before you can say--
[hiccups] - [thunderous rumbling]
- [branch thuds]
- Or we could just live in the driveway from now on.
- We'll be at this as long as it takes.
Billy and Nora are doing a great job watching Chloe.
- BILLY & NORA: Where's Chloe?
I thought you had her!
- [explosion] - CHLOE: I don't care!
- We've gotta fix her before Mom and Dad find out about this.
- Good luck with that. Hootie's her master now.
- No way. We've just gotta put our foot down.
Chloe Thunderman, get up here this instant!
- [whooshing]
- We've had enough of this, young lady.
- No more "Chloe don't care," and no more Hootie.
- That was a mistake.
- ALL: [whooshing]
- And stay out! [whooshing]
- [door lock clicks]
- Chloe! You can't lock us out.
- Chloe don't care!
- "Chloe don't care"?
- You showed her Hootie the--
[groaning, sobbing] Owww...
- It's pronounced "Owl."
- We specifically told you not to show her--
Hey, my super-hiccups are gone.
- Oh?
- Just like we planned.
- *
- GARY: [martial arts grunting]
- All right, time to win back Allison
by not talking so her parents don't find out I'm a jerk.
- [air horn blasting]
- What are you doin' here, Leprechaun?
- DEBBIE: "I have laryngitis and can't talk."
- GARY: "I want to be Alison's boyfriend again."
Forget it! Not after what you and your sister did.
"Phoebe isn't my real sister.
She was raised by a pack of wolves"?
- DEBBIE: "She went back to her wolf family
and you'll never see her again."
- Hello, it's me again.
Gary, Debbie, I messed up yesterday, not Max.
- Phoebe, what are you doing here?
- Wait! You talked.
- GARY: "The laryngitis comes and goes."
- Let me make things right.
Come on, open up the fighting cage
in your heart and let me in.
- You wouldn't last two seconds in my heart cage.
- Please? Come on, I'll do anything.
- Actually, Gary, we do need a sparring partner for Daisy.
- You need someone to spar with Daisy?
I'll spar with Daisy.
Who's Daisy?
- Daisy is a world- class MMA fighter.
You couldn't handle her.
- I took you guys down--
by accident.
Please let me help you.
- Daisy will quit our gym
if we don't give her somebody to pound on.
We can't afford to lose another star.
- Fine. Suit up and maybe we'll forgive you.
But you're still not in my heart cage!
- Phoebe, don't. - Let me do this, Max.
After they forgive me,
maybe they'll reconsider you and Allison.
- But my plan was working.
- What a stupid plan!
- All right, your turn. Please, don't mess this up.
- [sighing] I won't.
Hey, I'm a superhero, remember?
Besides, how bad could this "Daisy" be?
- It's Crazy Daisy! [martial arts grunt]
- The full name woulda been helpful earlier.
- Chloe, come on, we've been out here long enough.
We need to talk about this.
- [cellphone ringing]
- Hello?
- Chloe don't care!
- All right, that's it. I am breaking the door down.
- Hank, it doesn't matter if we're inside or outside.
The problem is she's stopped caring.
We need to find something that she cares about again.
- Chloe loves watching "Cutesy Cow" with us.
We can do that. - That's a great idea, Nora.
Look, everyone, it's "Cutesy Cow".
Let's watch it together as a family.
- CUTESY COW: Who wants a hug?
- ALL: The Moo Crew!
- [cellphone ringing]
- Don't answer it, Mom.
We all know what she's going to say.
- BARB: [sighing]
- Well, now what--
ah...ah... - Uh-oh.
Hank, you sound like you're coming down with a cold.
- No, no, no way. I am Thunderma-a-a-a...
Oh! Oh! Oh! - He's gonna super-sneeze!
- NORA & BILLY: Uh-oh!
- Hold onto something!
- Acho-o-o-o-o-o! - [gale force winds gusting]
- Chloe, you came outside.
- I was worried about my family.
- Aw, that's sweet, honey, but Daddy's fine.
- Not you--them.
- You hear that, Billy? She cares again.
- That's grea-a-a-t.
[groaning]
- DAISY: [martial arts roar]
[martial arts grunting]
- Max, what are you doing here?
- [heavy thud]
- Is that Phoebe in the cage?
- Yeah, we came to make things right with your parents,
and I'm afraid this was the only way.
Get crazy, Daisy! [laughing]
- So, she's in there fighting for our relationship.
Shouldn't that be you?
- Well, I can't risk my face.
You know I have the cheeks of a Norse god
and the lips of an Amazonian princess.
- You don't think I know that?
What I meant was I want you to have
an actual conversation with my parents.
At least give them a chance to see what I see.
- [sighing] Fine.
Hanging with Colosso was never this hard.
Weird, but not this hard.
Gary, Debbie, a word?
All right, here's the deal.
I'm worried if I opened my mouth,
you guys wouldn't like me, but,
you know what, you already don't like me.
So, I'm just gonna tell you how I really feel.
- Oh, no, he's gonna ruin all my hard work.
Is that my leg?
- DAISY: [roaring] Yeah!
- The truth is...
I really like your daughter...
and you splitting us up...
has broken my heart...
and I don't even know I had one
until I met Allison.
- Did you just talk to my parents
without insulting them?
- Did I?
What have you done to me?
- PHOEBE: She's changing you for the better! Oh!
- [heavy thud]
- You know, Max, now that you've told me how you really feel,
it changes nothing!
You'll never ever see my Alli-Walli again!
- What?
- He said "you'll never ever see my Alli-Walli again!"
- I just don't understand parents.
Everything I saw on TV told me this would work.
- What is wrong with you guys?
That was really hard for him.
He never talks to adults without insulting them,
but he didn't make fun of you.
- Yeah, I didn't say anything about
that hat that y'all be callin' a haircut!
Or her paintball face!
Was that out loud?
- PHOEBE: Very lo-o-o-o-ud!
Whoa! - [heavy thud]
- The thing is--Max is a great boyfriend.
He's not like other boys.
He's fun, he's smart.
One day, he's gonna take over the world.
- Well, it is on my vision board.
- I'm sorry, but you can't treat me
like your little Alli-Walli forever.
- She's right, Gare-Bear.
- Well, I suppose if we have to let you date somebody,
it might as well be this...
tiny woodland creature...
even if he was completely wrong about my sweet-sweet mullet.
- PHOEBE: [groans]
- So sweet.
- Thanks, Mom and Dad.
- Oh, Phoebe, you can get outta there.
Allison and I are back together.
- Finally!
[martial arts grunts]
- [heavy thud]
- [sighing]
This gym rocks!
- Thank you so much!
- Don't call me "so much."
Ma name's "Phoebe."
- Ha! Good one.
- Ah, still got it. - DAISY: [roaring]
- Whoa! - [heavy thud]
- *