- *
- * W-w-w-w-we're going on a date night *
* A night without our children
- * No kids, no problem, freedom **
- You guys have to do that every time you go out?
- Oh, honey, we love you, but you made us old.
- Dad, why aren't you wearing your awesome new glasses?
- Oh, Thunderman does not need glasses.
I have the vision of a jungle cat.
Ah!
- Lucky for you, there are no coffee tables in the jungle.
- Hey, thanks for watching Chloe.
- It'll be so easy.
I mean, she kinda adores me.
Greatest big sis ever.
Oh, I even bought her new pajamas
with sparkly slippers.
- Oh. - Ah.
- I look good, baby.
- Mom, Dad!
Billy got salami grease all over my tablet.
- Actually, you got your tablet all over my salami grease.
Apologize.
- Billy, enough with the salami eating.
- But it's full of all kinds of Italian vitamins,
like these white speaks and chewy things.
- Just listening to you kids makes me older.
Off to the movies.
Thunderman, away!
All right, bye, guys.
- All right, have fun, guys. - Bye.
- All right, Chloe, who's ready to hear
the story of Robin Hood?
- Max!
- Apparently not you.
- Hello, my little munchkin.
I heard the tooth fairy
brought you a silver dollar last night.
- Cha-ching!
- Excellent.
Now, watch as I place the money behind your ear and...
poof, it's gone.
- Well, of course, I can.
I'm just not gonna.
- Hey.
Give Chloe her money back.
- I'm just keeping it safe for her.
Like her birthday money.
- I love Max. He's my favorite.
The same Max who just stole your tooth money?
- He's funny, and he has great hair.
- I have great hair, too.
Come on, what does he have that I don't have?
- A bunny, a band, a slide-- - Okay, new plan.
Uh...I have a better story than Robin Hood.
It's called Phoebe Hood,
and it might just change the way
you feel about certain people in this house.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away,
there lived a beautiful girl named Chloe the Cute.
Everyone loved her, and she loved everyone,
except the evil sheriff.
- Hello, peasants.
It is I, Sheriff Maxingham.
- Oh, yeah.
He's definitely not anyone's favorite.
And his hair is not so great either.
- *
* What you see is not what you get *
* Living our lives with a secret *
* We fit right in, bet you'd never guess *
* Because we're living our lives just like all the rest *
* A picture-perfect family is what we try to be *
* But closer you might see the crazy things we do *
* This isn't make-believe
* It's our reality
* Just your average family trying to be normal *
* And stay out of trouble
* Living a double life *
- Tell me more.
- Hey, if you want to hear the whole Phoebe Hood story,
you're gonna need a snack.
- Where'd you get movie theater popcorn?
- From Daddy.
Oh, right.
The mean old Sheriff Maxingham had just arrived.
Did I mention nobody liked him?
Especially Chloe the Cute.
- Now line up and pay your taxes for the king,
you deadbeats.
- We barely have enough money for food, dye-bro-sof.
- I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your stench.
Now hand over the lute.
And the rest of you, show me the money!
I said show, not throw.
What about you, little girl?
Do you have anything of value for the king?
- Nope.
- Hmm.
What about those golden slippers?
Hand 'em over, Hobbit Child.
- Hey, you won't get away with this, Sheriff Dude.
Who's gonna stop me?
- *
- I'm going to stop you.
- Phoebe Hood, protector of the weak and...
other people who can't afford to shower.
- You may protect the poor and stinky,
but who's gonna protect you?
- They are.
- *
- These are my merry men.
- I'm sorry. I mean, my merry crew.
Barb Marian.
Little Hank.
- Your days of stealing are over, Maxingham.
- He's that way.
You'd know that if you wore your glasses.
- Don't forget Friar Billy.
- May the salami be with you.
- And finally--
- Uh, sure, if that's what you want,
then yes, Beyoncé.
- *
- He who felt it dealt it.
- Guys, can we focus on fighting injustice here, please?
My men are fearless.
That changes things.
- We'll take our belongings now, if you don't mind.
- You haven't heard the end of this, Phoebe Hood.
- ALL: Phoebe Hood! Phoebe Hood! Phoebe Hood!
- You're my favorite, Phoebe Hood.
She should be your favorite, too, Tiny Dude.
- PHOEBE: And so Phoebe Hood and her merry crew
started giving everyone back their stuff.
But Chloe the Cute's slippers were nowhere to be found.
- What happened to the slippers?
- They were stolen by that jerk Max.
Phff, did I say Max?
I meant Maxingham.
Funny, they almost sound the same, don't they?
- Anyway, back at the castle, Sheriff Maxingham
trembled in fear before his mighty, all-powerful king.
- Fear me!
You dare to return to King Colosso with no money?
Have you seen the royal treasury?
We are this close to being common folk.
I can't even afford a decent jester.
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse.
- Uhhhh.
You've got to get rid of Phoebe Hood.
I don't know how to find her.
- Well, if you don't,
I'll tell everyone you wear a wig.
- That was a secret between friends.
Wait! I have an idea.
If we can't find her, maybe we can lure her to us
by hosting an archery contest.
- She'll never show.
- She will, if these are the grand prize.
- When Phoebe Hood shows up for these,
we'll be waiting for her.
- Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
- And they accuse me of torture.
- *
- PHOEBE: So, the king threw a contest,
and invited the best archers from across the land.
- *
- I promise I will win back your slippers.
- You're my hero, Phoebe Hood.
- Bad-da-da-ba-ba-ba!
Make way for the king!
- Boooo!
- Oh, look how they love their king,
calling me their boos.
Back at ya, boos!
- You ready to catch Phoebe Hood, Your Highness?
- This better work, Maxingham, or I'll put you on poop patrol.
- And you people wonder why I stink.
Let the royal contest begin!
Our first contestant, Sheriff Maxingham.
- Watch and learn, people.
- *
- Boo-yah!
That's how you do it.
I guess those golden slippers are all mine.
Unless, someone here can beat me.
- I'd like to give it a shoot.
All right, fine.
But hurry up,
I'm in the middle of a genius plan to find someone.
Ssh.
- I'm so glad you're done with that greasy thing.
Me, too.
Now I can start on this bad boy!
- *
- Hooray!
- She split the sheriff's arrow in two!
- Talk about a split personality.
- Ugh, where's the black plague when you need it?
- You broke my favorite arrow.
Only one person in the kingdom could do that.
Phoebe Hood.
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist those slippers.
Guards, arrest her!
- *
- I guess we're doing this the hard way.
- *
- Don't worry, Phoebe Hood,
I'll take out those guards with my incredible aim.
- Oh!
Why isn't everyone cheering for me?
- Because you just captured Phoebe Hood.
- Ooh, I thought she was over there.
- That's Stonehenge.
- Friar Billy, fetch the weapons cart.
- Oops, I guess I grabbed the wrong cart.
No one eat the soup tonight.
- Maxingham, your plan worked.
Don't worry, Phoebe Hood, I'll give you a fair trial.
- Guilty!
I sentence you to be flung from the kingdom by catapult!
- Your tax dollars at work, people.
- *
- Phoebe Hood!
- Not Phoebe Hood, she's my favorite.
- Yep.
Oh, you wanna know a secret?
Phoebe Hood is really me.
I guess that makes me your favorite.
- Yep.
I guess that makes him not your favorite.
- You're a naughty sheriff.
- I left him at the North Pole.
- Your story, silly.
- Oh.
- *
- Chloe, you need to bring Max back from the North Pole.
- Nope.
Come on, he's your favorite, remember?
- No, you're my favorite.
- So hard to enjoy that
while Max is getting eaten by a polar bear.
- We're home!
- Date night is officially over.
I mean, you guys were barely even gone an hour.
What kind of date night is that?
- Uh, your father couldn't see the screen,
because he forgot his glasses.
- Well, also, someone stole my popcorn.
I bet Max had something to do with it.
Max!
- Wait, no, Dad, um... Max went to bed early.
I think he's coming down with a cold.
- Oh, he's cold.
Why don't you guys go and get some ice cream, huh?
My treat.
Can't let your date night end like this.
* You're going back out on your date night *
* A night without your children *
* No kids, no problems
- BOTH: * Freedom *
- Okay, Chloe, listen.
I know I may have told you a story
that made Max seem evil.
But you're gonna wanna bring him back
when you hear the end of the story.
Back at the kingdom, Phoebe Hood was held prisoner.
But to everyone's surprise, Maxingham had a change a heart.
- I've had a change of heart.
- Hooray for Maxingham!
- CROWD: Hooray!
- BOTH: The end.
- *
- Booooo!
I'm going to bed.
- Wait, no, no, no.
My bad, I, uh--I told you the wrong ending.
Uh, this is how it really goes.
Phoebe Hood was about to be catapulted
out of the kingdom forever.
- Goodbye!
I shall miss you all.
Even you, Poop Patrol.
- She knows my name.
- Please don't get rid of Phoebe Hood.
- Sorry, kid.
Can't be this good-looking and nice at the same time.
- Yes, you can.
- PHOEBE: Meanwhile, the merry crew was desperate
to find a way to save Phoebe Hood and themselves.
- We have to save Phoebe Hood.
- And ourselves.
- The worst part is,
I can't get this wedgie out of my moat.
- Let the flinging begin!
- Release her!
- That's what I said.
Release the thing and make her fling.
- Don't...even think about it.
- Maxingham, what are you doing?
- Fighting for justice
and slipper-less children everywhere.
It takes a lot of courage to do the right thing.
- Friar Billy, your greasy salami hands
let you slide right out of your shackles.
- Whoo, that was close.
I wouldn't want to get in any more trouble.
- No, get out of there and free us all.
- Oooh.
- And help me with this wedgie.
- Are you going soft on me, Maxingham?
Last time I checked, this was the medieval times.
Not the mid-nice guy times.
- Clever.
- Guards! Get him!
- *
- Maxingham, you're good after all
and should never be stranded in the North Pole.
- Nothing. Just hand me a sword.
Really?
- Ah!
- *
- We're free!
- *
- Merry crew, snap the whip!
- I can't see where I'm going.
- Put on your glasses!
- All right.
Uh, that felt good!
Oh, everything is so clear.
- Get up, you buffoons!
- Wait, our king is a talking rabbit?
Does everyone know this?
- *
- Yeah!
Phoebe Hood is safe!
So is anyone buying this?
- Don't worry, we'll give you a fair trial.
- Oh, argh!
- Guilty!
- You wouldn't dare.
Wah!
You d-d-d-did!
- If I'm not mistaken, these belong to you.
- My golden slippers.
- From now on, I'd like to steal for good instead of evil.
That is if you'll have me.
Should we let Maxingham join our merry crew?
- Yes!
- This is so "sweeches."
These tears count as a shower.
- I dub thee Sir Good Hair of the Merry Men.
- Merry crew!
Why don't you people get this?
- ALL: Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
- I don't suppose you need a funny jester
to lighten things up every now and then?
- *
- So Maxingham was now part of the merry crew,
and became Chloe the Cute's
favorite person in the entire kingdom.
The end.
- Yeah.
You only thought he was bad because his jealous twin sister
reworked a classic to win you over.
- I like Phoebe Hood and Maxingham.
They're both my favorite.
- Okay, good.
So, can we please bring Max back now?
B-b-b-b-rain f-f-f-freeze.
Thanks for bringing me back from the North Pole, Chloe.
Why'd you take me to the North Pole, Chloe?
I mean, why do kids anything, right?
So weird.
- We're home.
- And we brought ice cream.
You think that's funny?
- Uh, why do kids do anything, right?
So weird.
Oh, hey, your new glasses look good.
- Well, yeah.
I decided just because I need glasses
doesn't mean I'm not heroic or handsome.
- He couldn't read the ice cream menu.
- Why is there grease on the remote?
Billy!
- Sorry, it wasn't Billy.
What can I say?
The kid knows his salami.
- It's great in smoothies, too.
Nope, it's not.
I'm gonna go puke.
- I love Billy.
He's my favorite.
- *