1
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:13,445
(allan)
jean lafitte, he was just
a really badass pirate.
2
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:16,215
Stabbing in weird,
fun new ways.
3
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,284
Pirates are [bleep] good
at fighting and stuff,
4
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,153
Is my [bleep] point, man.
5
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,488
Sam the banana man,
6
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,491
He is al pacino,
scarface style,
7
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:28,060
But instead of cocaine,
bananas.
8
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:28,827
[laughing]
9
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,196
Louis armstrong was born
in the brothels
10
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,765
Where all the jazz music
was playing.
11
00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:36,201
He was like,
"I want to play that music."
12
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,269
You're drunk.
13
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,871
- I'm drunk!
- Ah!
14
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:42,041
[patriotic music]
15
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:46,345
♪ ♪
16
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,886
(man)
we live in the color portion
of the wizard of oz,
17
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,221
And everybody else is in
the black-and-white section.
18
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,124
It's all technicolor here.
19
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,260
(woman)
new orleans
is so [bleep] american
20
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,127
Compared to everywhere else.
21
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,096
You can't do the [bleep]
that you do in new orleans
22
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,131
Everywhere else
in the United States.
23
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:06,965
You can't do it.
24
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,834
(man)
our entire history's
drunk history.
25
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:13,238
We have a street right here
named after booze.
26
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,444
Oh, [bleep].
27
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:21,013
Oh, [bleep].
28
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,348
Oh, [bleep].
29
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,184
Oh, no.
30
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,419
[groans]
31
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,153
Hello.
32
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:33,725
Today we're gonna talk
about the pirate jean lafitte.
33
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:34,827
[laughs]
34
00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:38,530
(allan)
our story starts
in the early 1800s.
35
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,998
The economy is very bad.
36
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,002
So the smugglers in new orleans
were these pirates,
37
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:47,639
And the leader of the pirates,
jean lafitte,
38
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:51,076
Was operating a major smuggl--
39
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,811
Ooh, smuggling ring?
40
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,181
So jean lafitte was operating
a "majoler"--
41
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,250
Oh, no, no, no.
42
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,686
Okay, okay.
43
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,388
He was very smooth and suave.
44
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,691
He was just
a really badass pirate.
45
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:09,294
Governor claiborne of louisiana
is not happy about it.
46
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:14,233
I'm putting a $500 bounty
on jean lafitte's head.
47
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:14,900
Not his head.
48
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,268
I don't want you
to bring me his head.
49
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,003
I want you
to bring him in alive.
50
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,571
But seriously...
51
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,673
I'll give you $500
if you capture him
52
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,474
And bring him in, okay?
53
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:27,613
So, at this point,
the war of 1812 is...
54
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:28,380
Happening now.
55
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:32,217
There are british ships just off
the coast of new orleans.
56
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,753
King george iii
sends a letter, saying,
57
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,756
"dear jean lafitte,
I'm gonna attack new orleans.
58
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,591
"I'd love for you
to be a part of this.
59
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:44,196
In exchange, we will make you
a captain of the british navy."
60
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,430
Lafitte says,
61
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,400
I need a little time
to think about this.
62
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:50,936
When he knows--
63
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:53,172
I'm not going to fight
against america,
64
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,973
Because he loves america.
65
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,143
And then claiborne's men
show up
66
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,611
And arrest jean lafitte.
67
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,714
We caught you red-handed,
jean lafitte.
68
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,815
You're arrested.
69
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,050
We're going to arrest you.
70
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,118
Jean lafitte surrenders.
71
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,120
He's like, okay, you got me.
72
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,721
He gets put in jail.
73
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,691
So jean lafitte writes
a letter to andrew jackson.
74
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,928
He's fighting the [bleep]
out of the british already.
75
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,762
"dear andrew jackson,
76
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,566
"here's all the battle plans
that king of England gave me.
77
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,567
"maybe you could free me
78
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,001
"and pardon me of all my crimes.
79
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,805
Nobody can defend new orleans
better than we can."
80
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,507
Major general andrew jackson
is like,
81
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:34,446
Who is this pirate
writing a letter to me?
82
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,380
Pirates are to be hung.
83
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:39,318
I'm not going to fight
alongside a pirate.
84
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,086
I'm here fighting the south--
85
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,554
I'm fighting--
oh, [bleep].
86
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,722
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
87
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,290
I'm gonna do this right.
88
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,559
I'm not about to help you.
89
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:52,598
I'm gonna head to new orleans
and protect it myself.
90
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,134
Andrew jackson arrives
in new orleans.
91
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,270
He's like, I've been shot.
92
00:03:58,272 --> 00:03:59,238
I have dysentery,
93
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,773
Which is the worst category
of diarrhea
94
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,141
That you can imagine.
95
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:03,775
No big deal.
96
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,111
I'll [bleep] on my [bleep] horse
all day long.
97
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,546
His horse is like, huh?
98
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,281
Okay, fine, you [bleep] on me.
99
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,816
I'm an american horse.
100
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:11,783
[laughs]
101
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,852
You know what I mean?
102
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,688
But don't let
my pooping disease
103
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:20,626
Make you think that I'm not
gonna defeat the british,
104
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,394
'cause I [bleep] am.
105
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,129
Andrew jackson takes a look
at everybody.
106
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,798
He's like, there's really not
any fighters here.
107
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,001
What do we got, some nuns?
108
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:33,705
And we got a couple
of business guys over here?
109
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,441
I don't even know
what to do here.
110
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,542
And they're like, hey,
111
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,945
Major-general andrew jackson,
112
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,613
There is that pirate
jean lafitte
113
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,283
That's, like, interested
in helping you.
114
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:46,551
Oh, yeah, well, okay.
115
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,721
Yeah, here we go, yeah.
116
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,857
All right, [bleep] it.
I'll talk to him.
117
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,625
Jean lafitte finally gets
his chance
118
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,559
To talk to andrew jackson.
119
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:57,362
He says, listen, I've sent you
the letters, buddy.
120
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,398
I'm telling you,
I got the goods.
121
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,100
I got the ammunition,
I got the weapons,
122
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,036
I got the men.
123
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:04,736
You need me,
124
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,973
And you're not admitting it
to yourself.
125
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,677
And andrew jackson's like...
126
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,112
[whispering]
I do need help from pirates.
127
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,714
I'm [bleep] [bleep] up.
128
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,915
I've got diarrhea.
129
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,016
I don't want everybody to know
130
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,719
That I'm asking
for a pirate's help right now,
131
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,587
But, please, join me.
132
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:27,092
[whispering]
okay, it's our little secret.
133
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,126
Wink.
134
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,295
And andrew jackson said...
135
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,830
You're my guy.
Let's party.
136
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,600
So there were 4,000 americans
versus, like, 10,000 british.
137
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,602
And yet,
the british were not prepared
138
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,805
For andrew jackson
and jean lafitte.
139
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:43,709
And they just started
wailing on them.
140
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,746
The pirates
are amazing fighters.
141
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,747
They're doing stuff like,
142
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,650
Shoot 'em from different
weird angles,
143
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,919
Coming out of surprise traps,
144
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:57,089
Stabbing in weird,
fun, new ways.
145
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:57,723
And at one point,
146
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:01,126
The british military commander
says to andrew jackson,
147
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:04,262
Hey, you guys
are being very rude.
148
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,263
And andrew jackson says,
149
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:09,568
We're trying to get you
out of america.
150
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:14,272
We're not playing
by your little rules.
151
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,943
Arrow, arrow, arrow,
arrow, arrow.
152
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:18,944
You know?
153
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,346
[laughing]
154
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:22,514
Yeah, not an arrow.
155
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,283
Probably with a gun,
a "masket."
156
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,485
[laughing]
157
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,687
Muske--
[hiccups]
158
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:29,554
Ooh, god.
159
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,289
They won
the battle of new orleans.
160
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,259
And andrew jackson's looking
at the area,
161
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,195
And he's seeing
all these dead redcoats,
162
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,131
Just like, whew.
163
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:42,100
We really did a number
on these guys.
164
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,269
We really...
165
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,937
These guys...
166
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,974
You know, we really killed
a lot of them.
167
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,342
[laughs]
168
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,209
And andrew jackson's like...
169
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,579
Hey, everyone,
I had diarrhea, but we did it.
170
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,581
We won,
because you fought so hard,
171
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,250
And you were
so awesome out there.
172
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:03,288
And so don't even worry
about all your crimes.
173
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,556
I'm gonna pardon you.
174
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,791
Lafitte says...
175
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,726
Thank you, andrew jackson.
176
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,060
All I wanted to do
177
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,431
Was to show everybody
that pirates are all right
178
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,733
And that we can be
true americans.
179
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,600
Go be a pirate elsewhere.
180
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:19,004
Come on, get out of here.
Get out of new orleans, guys.
181
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,705
You crazy kids.
182
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,908
But--but--but--but--
183
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,243
But, um...
184
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,946
(allan)
god damn it,
I felt like this [bleep]--
185
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,215
The [bleep] point is that
186
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:33,985
[bleep] pirates are [bleep] good
at fighting and stuff,
187
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,789
Is my [bleep] point, man.
188
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,824
Stay tuned
189
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:42,427
For new "drunken history"
190
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:45,864
From [bleep] pirates,
new orleans.
191
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,366
- Is there whiskey in that?
- Yeah.
192
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,436
Ha ha.
I'll have that.
193
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,675
(man)
in new orleans,
we enjoy eating down here,
194
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,644
Whether it's red beans and rice,
po'boys, shrimp.
195
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,279
I can be as fat
as I want down here.
196
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,615
Nobody gives a [bleep]
down here about that.
197
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,483
We just eat.
198
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,085
(gloria)
there's nothing like
gin and tonic and bananas.
199
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,119
(derek)
that is a good combo.
200
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,489
This is like
chocolate and peanut butter.
201
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:11,456
You know what?
202
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,657
Is this a thing?
203
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,025
Could be.
204
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,393
Not as good.
205
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,561
No.
206
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:17,996
Not as good.
207
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,533
Look at this.
Lime, get--I hate you.
208
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,034
Hey, you guys.
209
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,336
Oh, boy.
210
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,904
I'm gloria calderon kellett.
211
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,672
Or glor--
I should do it again.
212
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:28,573
No, just keep going.
213
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,042
I'm gloria calderón kellett.
214
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,911
Never been more latina.
215
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,045
And I'm gonna tell you
216
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:38,583
About
sam "the banana man" zemurray.
217
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,151
So it's 1891.
218
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,053
Sam zemurray's 14 years old.
219
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,489
He's a russian jew, very poor.
220
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,590
Has no formal education.
221
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,326
And he steps off the boat
with his parents,
222
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:51,463
And he's like, yeah, america.
223
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:54,299
Let's make this happen,
american style.
224
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,602
And one day, there's, like,
a traveling salesman
225
00:08:57,604 --> 00:09:00,338
Peddling exotic wares.
226
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:00,939
And he's like...
227
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:05,076
Excuse me, sir, what is this
penis-looking thing?
228
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,778
And the peddler says...
229
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,980
Oh, that is a banana.
230
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,315
And sam's like...
231
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,616
What is it?
232
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,251
Oh, it is a fruit.
233
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,219
He's like, what?
234
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,556
And he tries this banana,
and it's delicious.
235
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,958
And he's like, I want--
236
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,259
I want everyone in the world
237
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,563
To taste what's
in my mouth right now.
238
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,597
Oh, you dropped your--
239
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,499
Oh, my banana dropped!
240
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:30,035
So he goes to where
the banana boats come in.
241
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,237
They sort, like,
about to be ripe,
242
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:32,938
Ripe, over-ripe.
243
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,006
All the ripe bananas are thrown
into the ocean.
244
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,408
And he goes up to them,
and he's like...
245
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,310
You guys,
what are you doing?
246
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,478
These are delicious
ripe bananas.
247
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,047
And they're like,
oh, man, this--
248
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,248
We'd love to not
throw them away,
249
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,950
'cause you're right,
they are delicious.
250
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:49,988
However, by the time
they get to where they're going,
251
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,423
They're gonna be rotten.
252
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,490
It's super sad.
253
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,658
- Aw.
- Yeah.
254
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,060
So he gets this idea.
255
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,529
Why don't I buy
those ripes off of you?
256
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,130
And they're like,
all right.
257
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:02,067
And then he rents a boxcar
258
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,069
On the illinois central train,
259
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,738
And then at every stop,
he's like, what is up?
260
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:07,672
And all the grocers are like,
261
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:10,408
We're here, and we want
to buy your bananas, sir.
262
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,979
He's like, I have nothing
but awesome bananas to sell you,
263
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,248
Right here from my--zoop--
from my boxcar.
264
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,783
Some people don't know
what the hell they are.
265
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,352
Ooh, that looks
a little bit weird.
266
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:23,588
And they try it,
and they're like, holy [bleep].
267
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,056
This is bananas.
268
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,358
He's like, exactly.
269
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,325
You're welcome.
270
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,027
He's selling bananas
left and right.
271
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:29,995
Left and right, bananas.
272
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,098
And that first trip,
he makes 40 bucks,
273
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,400
Which is so much money
at that time.
274
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:39,337
That's amazing,
how bananas were so...
275
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,974
Forgot the word
I wanted to use.
276
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,809
- [laughs]
- anyway...
277
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:48,079
So he does this again
and again and again.
278
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,348
And by the time
he's 21 years old,
279
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:53,618
Sam, who's now known
as sam the banana man,
280
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,820
Has made $100,000.
281
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,489
Is that enough for sammy z?
282
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,492
It is not.
He wants more, derek.
283
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,526
So it dawns on him--
284
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,597
Wait a minute.
I could just do this all myself.
285
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:06,798
I'm gonna go to honduras.
286
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,968
And in 1910, he's, like,
along the cuyamel river,
287
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,570
And he's like, I'm gonna start
the cuyamel fruit company.
288
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:16,541
I'm gonna buy a ton of land,
buy some ships,
289
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,043
And I'm gonna plant bananas
290
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:21,846
And I'm gonna, like,
build a railroad line,
291
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,149
And I'm gonna get--
like, talk to the authorities
292
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,050
And be like, hey, authorities,
293
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,952
Is it cool if you totally
don't tax me a lot?
294
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:28,653
Okay.
295
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,788
And it's gonna be amazing.
296
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,557
So he is controlling
his own supply.
297
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,225
He's getting his tax breaks.
298
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,060
Everything is awesome.
299
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,828
He's, like, the richest guy
in new orleans.
300
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,996
He can do anything he wants.
301
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:41,099
He is al pacino,
scarface style,
302
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,469
But instead of, like, cocaine,
bananas.
303
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,404
[laughing]
304
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,039
But then someone's like,
knock-knock,
305
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,076
Sorry to bust in
on your big party.
306
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,744
But, hey,
know that place honduras
307
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,679
That's making you
all this money?
308
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,747
There's a problem.
309
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,215
And he's like, what?
310
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,285
They owe the british
a lot of money.
311
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:03,455
They're taxing everything,
including your bananas.
312
00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:05,857
Sam's like, uh-oh,
what do I do?
313
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:06,825
What do I do?
314
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:07,992
Hold on, hold on.
315
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:08,493
What?
316
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:12,330
The former exiled president
of honduras
317
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,566
Lives in new orleans?
318
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,633
Amazing.
319
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:17,569
So he finds manuel bonilla,
320
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,804
The former exiled president
of honduras.
321
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:20,939
And he's like,
what's up?
322
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,807
Banana man,
maybe you've heard of me.
323
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:26,211
How would you like to be
president of your country again?
324
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,612
And manuel bonilla's like...
325
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,447
Oh, let me think about it.
326
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:30,014
Yes.
327
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,182
If I, like, help you
be president again,
328
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,718
You're totally gonna be, like,
cool with taxes and stuff?
329
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,753
Yes, totally.
330
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,920
So bonilla says...
331
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,490
If we're gonna do this,
I need my dudes.
332
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:43,595
And in walks lee christmas
and guy "machine gun" molony.
333
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,030
And these guys are bad mfs.
334
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,666
And I'm talking
about mother[bleep],
335
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,969
If you didn't know
what mfs meant.
336
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:51,936
[laughs]
337
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,205
So lee christmas
and machine gun molony
338
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:58,409
Are like, all right, we got
to get together an army.
339
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,778
So he goes, and he finds
340
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:04,015
The lowest, filthiest,
scummiest [bleep].
341
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,184
Oh, what's up, saloons?
342
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,018
What's up, brothels?
343
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:11,756
Stop [bleep] prostitutes
for a second and listen up.
344
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,424
Hey, help me change
the world
345
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,826
And create a coup
in honduras.
346
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,629
And he gathers them up
to go on this mission.
347
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:22,367
So sam zemurray secretly buys
all of these ships and guns
348
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,401
From the u.S. Military.
349
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,103
They get off the boat,
and they're like,
350
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,471
Oh, what's up, honduras?
351
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,640
Sorry, we're about
to take you over.
352
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,874
P'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo!
353
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,843
The government of honduras
is like,
354
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:32,644
Oh, uh...
355
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,646
P'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo!
356
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:35,847
Oh, we're dead.
357
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,982
We're on the ground, dead.
358
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,450
Egh, that's what happens.
359
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:43,288
And they take over
the government of honduras.
360
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,190
And bonilla, they put him
back in power.
361
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:47,559
Sam says, hey, we're cool
with the tax thing?
362
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,194
Bonilla's, like,
yeah, man, it's all good.
363
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,930
This is how, like,
the phrase "banana republics"
364
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,031
Is started, right?
365
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,699
So this coup is successful.
366
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,468
Sam zemurray fills the u.S.
With bananas.
367
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,604
It becomes
the chiquita banana company.
368
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,773
Like, yeah,
did he do some bad [bleep]?
369
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:02,540
He did.
370
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,075
But we have him to thank
371
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,378
For amazing,
delicious bananas,
372
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,847
And banana republics.
373
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,516
Not just an awesome
clothing chain.
374
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:16,754
A place where a lot of people
died for bananas.
375
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,257
Thanks, dead people?
376
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,292
[laughing]
377
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,027
Will you look
into tom's camera
378
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,997
And say, "stay tuned for more
drunk history in new orleans"?
379
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,099
Add whatever you guys want
at the end of that.
380
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:31,803
(both)
stay tuned for
more drunk history in--
381
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:36,407
- [screaming]
- okay.
382
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,542
[jazzy clarinet music]
383
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,778
(doreen)
when I play, I think
about louis armstrong,
384
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,081
All of those cats
that came before me.
385
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,250
I want to move people
like he moves me.
386
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:46,417
Oh, my goodness, he moves me.
387
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,353
And he dealt
with a lot of adversity.
388
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,321
I deal with
a lot of adversity.
389
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,123
[laughs]
so, yeah.
390
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,893
[jazzy clarinet music]
391
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,027
[cheers and applause]
392
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,562
I figured
we'd make something
393
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,030
That was a new orleans
tradition,
394
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,099
So we're gonna do
the sazerac.
395
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:01,733
This is absinthe.
396
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,269
You might hallucinate
a little bit tonight.
397
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,104
[giggles]
398
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,172
Mm, shake it up.
399
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,073
Shake it, shake it.
400
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,710
[gravely]
♪ what a wonderful drink ♪
401
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,645
[laughter]
402
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:14,746
Hello, I'm daryl johnson.
403
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,515
And today we're gonna talk
about louis armstrong,
404
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,083
And the people
that made louis
405
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,719
The louis armstrong
we know today.
406
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:22,553
Louis armstrong grew up
407
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,590
In the roughest and poorest
part of new orleans.
408
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,291
He'd be like,
409
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,992
♪ I'm gonna sing
for some money ♪
410
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,127
When people would throw
pennies at him,
411
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,929
He would pick up the pennies
and throw them in his mouth
412
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,298
So that the big kids
wouldn't take them from him.
413
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,800
And that's how he got
his first nickname, satchmo.
414
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:38,036
You take all the coins
and put them in your mouth
415
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,871
Like a satchel--
satch-mouth.
416
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,607
His mom works as an
off-and-on-again prostitute
417
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,677
In the brothels where
all the jazz music was playing,
418
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:46,611
So louis would be like...
419
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,745
Hey, girl,
can I listen real quick
420
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,214
To the band that's playing
on the other side of this wall?
421
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:53,151
And so he would listen
to the kid ori band
422
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,053
And "king" joe oliver...
423
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,088
[upbeat jazz music]
424
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,223
Baddest cornetist in town.
425
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,459
Couldn't nobody touch
king oliver.
426
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,462
And little louis was listening
through those walls
427
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,432
And was like,
that's what I want to do.
428
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,201
I want to play that music.
429
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,070
Whew.
430
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:12,937
Ah!
431
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,573
It's burning the inside
of my body!
432
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,141
Okay, so, one day...
433
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,678
A jewish coal merchant,
bernhardt karnofsky,
434
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,948
Saw little louis
at the brothels and said,
435
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,050
Hey, little kid,
I can give you a job
436
00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:29,654
If you work for me delivering
coal to the prostitutes.
437
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:30,989
Come into our family.
438
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,256
We're gonna feed you
439
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,826
And treat you
like one of our own.
440
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,228
Mrs. Karnofsky would sing
little jewish lullabies
441
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:40,231
To louis as a young boy,
and it'd be like,
442
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,632
♪ ruga-ta ♪
443
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,567
No, wait.
444
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:43,701
No, that's the prayer.
445
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,136
The lullaby
would probably be like,
446
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:50,174
♪ we're jewish,
and we love it ♪
447
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,909
That's, like, nice, right?
448
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:52,977
(derek)
that's perfect.
449
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,613
(daryl)
so, at 7 years old,
he's working for the karnofskys.
450
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,149
On the truck,
he used to play a horn, like...
451
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,217
♪ ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
452
00:16:59,219 --> 00:16:59,884
We're comin'.
453
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:03,888
And they were driving
past this pawnshop,
454
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,289
And in the window
of this pawnshop
455
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,557
Was this old, beat-up cornet,
456
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,693
And he was like, I want that.
457
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,428
Little louis
asked karnofsky...
458
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,698
Do you think you can
advance me the $5
459
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,732
To buy that cornet?
460
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,368
He said, of course I can
loan you the $5.
461
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,238
And it was a piece of junk,
but it was his piece of junk.
462
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,673
He used to polish it.
He was like...
463
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,709
♪ har-mup, nar-nah-nar-nar-bup ♪
464
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,444
'cause he wasn't
really that good yet.
465
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:27,145
But he would say,
466
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,448
I'm gonna be the best cornetist
in all louisiana.
467
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:34,152
And wore a star of david
for the rest of his life
468
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,420
To commemorate how much
469
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,722
The karnofsky family
meant to him.
470
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,623
That was way before
471
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,225
All these celebrities today
made it popular
472
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,095
To just go grab a little
black kid off the street.
473
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,263
[laughter]
474
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,264
So he's out one night,
475
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,966
And he decides
to shoot a gun into the air
476
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,234
To celebrate new year's.
477
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,002
Police was like...
478
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,537
Mm-mm. You can't be
a little black kid
479
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,806
In new orleans shooting
a gun in the air.
480
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:55,506
We gonna arrest you.
481
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:59,644
He got taken to the new orleans
home for colored waifs.
482
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:00,812
(derek)
it sounds racist.
483
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,880
(daryl)
it's--I'm sure
it was pretty racist.
484
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,650
This is--
we're, like, talking 1913.
485
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:08,019
And that's when he meets
pete davis,
486
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,787
The musical "instructure"--
487
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,255
Musical instructor.
488
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,092
Pete davis taught him
how to read music
489
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,326
And how to play technically.
490
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,928
And he's like,
you're gonna be the "dest"--
491
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,231
The best damn horn player
in new orleans.
492
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,366
And so, a couple years later,
when he gets out,
493
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,969
He's playing in
all these, like, seedy bars.
494
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,737
Everybody in new orleans
is like,
495
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,173
Hey, that's little
louis armstrong.
496
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,142
He used to make
the horn talk.
497
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,376
Is that what they said?
498
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,644
It's what it sounded like.
499
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,746
♪ bwop, bwah-da-bwah-da-bwop,
bwah-bwah ♪
500
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,515
♪ go get you a prostitute ♪
501
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,183
♪ get you some whiskey ♪
502
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,218
♪ bwah-da-dup-bup-bup-bup ♪
503
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,620
♪ and have a good time, ha ♪
504
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,324
And one day, his idol,
"king" joe oliver,
505
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,024
Heard him play,
506
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,960
And he was like,
man, this kid's good.
507
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,061
[items clattering]
508
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:51,162
Oh, [bleep].
509
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,531
[laughter]
510
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,298
Oh, there's another one.
511
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:58,069
I told you,
sazeracs do something special.
512
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:03,374
[laughter]
513
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,276
All right.
And what am I doing now?
514
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,310
(derek)
tell me the story.
515
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,079
Starting the story
from over the beginning.
516
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:12,750
No, no, for real, daryl,
tell me about louis armstrong.
517
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:16,020
Hey, let's be honest.
We've been through a lot.
518
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,722
[laughing]
519
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:18,656
All right.
520
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,958
It was king oliver
who taught him how to perform.
521
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,927
So they used to March
all around town,
522
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,463
In parades, marching bands,
523
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,099
And that's how louis
got his soul.
524
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:28,966
Papa joe would be like...
525
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,702
If you heard the crowd
getting into the music,
526
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,205
Give them a little bit more,
right?
527
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:34,972
So if you was like,
528
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,307
♪ bah-bah-da-bah-duh-ba-bup ♪
529
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,441
♪ bada-bada-bada-bah ♪
530
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:38,643
Just throw more notes.
531
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,077
♪ bah-bada-bada-ba-bah-bah ♪
532
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,145
[mumbled melody]
533
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,580
♪ bop-bop-bow ♪
534
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,514
[mumbled melody]
535
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,483
And little louis
was like...
536
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,884
Sure.
537
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,818
I'm drunk as [bleep].
538
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,154
I'll do whatever you want.
539
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:53,191
I'm so drunk.
540
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,025
What you want now?
541
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,460
- What was I talking about?
[laughter]
542
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:59,931
We were talking
about louis armstrong.
543
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:00,965
So, to be honest,
544
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,634
He was playing
better than papa joe.
545
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,804
Louis became the number-one
cornetist in new orleans.
546
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:07,638
And everybody was like,
547
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,774
Man, this louis armstrong
is good.
548
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,475
And that's when he blew up.
549
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,177
- Cheers.
- Louis armstrong.
550
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,145
- To louis.
- To louis.
551
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,180
(derek)
without that love
that he was given, he might...
552
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:20,084
(daryl)
he might not be the
louis armstrong we know today.
553
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,753
Always remember
where you got that--
554
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,488
That inspiration from.
555
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,424
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
556
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:26,924
Louis.
557
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,460
Louis armstrong
was the greatest.
558
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,494
Ooh, okay,
do it slow.
559
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,762
You want me
to crack your back?
560
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,599
Yeah, okay,
but do it slow.
561
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,100
[laughing]
562
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,869
You want to crack--
you're drunk.
563
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,905
- I'm drunk!
- Oh!
564
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,075
[patriotic music]
565
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:52,383
♪ ♪
566
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,233
- What is that?
- It's an apron.
567
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:12,270
- [laughing]
- are we cooking, or what?
568
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,305
[derek laughing]
that's allan.
569
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,841
I just want to tell
the story right.
570
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,376
[laughter]
571
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,577
Oh!
572
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:19,610
Why do you have to make this
such a sexual thing?