1 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:03,602 - So Charles Ponzi goes, 2 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,337 I come from Italy. I try to make-a money, 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,172 but they tell me I can't make-a money here. 4 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,374 Hey, this looks very [bleep] fishy. 5 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,742 Does that make any [bleep] sense? 6 00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:13,445 - Sadie is just head-butting them in the stomach. 7 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:17,316 I'm Sadie the Goat! 8 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,150 - [laughs] 9 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,719 - Lord Gordon-Gordon was a con man. 10 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:24,089 He's [bleep] stealing from me! 11 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:24,523 [yells] 12 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,626 [patriotic music] 13 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:33,332 ♪ ♪ 14 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,304 [brooding music] 15 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:43,776 - I'd like to present you with some shots. 16 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:44,810 Cheers to scoundrels. 17 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,612 - Scoundrels. - To scoundrels. 18 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:49,114 - What was the big scam? Like, um... 19 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,316 - Biggest scam ever growing up? Um... 20 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,786 "Blame It on the Rain," who are those [bleep]--Milli Vanilli. 21 00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:56,688 I still to this day, love those songs. 22 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:57,589 They, like, ten... 23 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,458 - But it's not their... 24 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,392 - Yeah, right. 25 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,193 - "Blame It on the Rain." 26 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,127 - "Blame in on the Rain." He's--lip-- 27 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,796 he's lip syncing in heaven. 28 00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:05,164 - Never forget. - Never gonna. 29 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,167 Hello, I'm Chris Romano, 30 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:12,137 and today we're gonna be talking about the man who di-- 31 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:15,107 hello, I'm Chris Romano, and we're--toda-- 32 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,210 hello, everybody. 33 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,546 I'm Chris Romano, and today we're gonna be talking about 34 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:23,549 the man who brought down the Ponzi schemes, 35 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,818 William McMasters! 36 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:26,718 [orchestral music] 37 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,622 So in 1919, Charles Ponzi the Italian immigrant 38 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,557 arrived in the United States. 39 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,426 [laughing] So he gets to Boston, and he's like, 40 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,395 man, what am I gonna do in Boston? 41 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,564 I love the city, but I need to make the money! 42 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,799 Right? So he goes, uh, 43 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,201 what can I do? I'm--a-- 44 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:42,901 I'm not a good person. 45 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:45,237 I--I love money. 46 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,206 Um. I got it. 47 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,374 [bleep] stamps. 48 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:49,842 - [laughs] 49 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:54,279 - So Charles Ponzi creates the Securities Exchange Company. 50 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,748 So he goes, I'm gonna tell people that I-- 51 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,617 I'm going to invest their money 52 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,786 in, uh, postal coupons. 53 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,254 So he gets these [bleep] idiots in Boston to go like, 54 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:05,858 here, here's a hundred bucks. Go get me some [bleep] stamps. 55 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:06,859 This is gonna be great. 56 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:08,861 I'm gonna be a millionaire from stamps? 57 00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,729 It's f--yeah, let's do this. 58 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,531 So people started giving him money. 59 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:16,201 He gets person after person after person. 60 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,504 So Charles Ponzi never bought any stamps. 61 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,606 He was just like, I'm just giving people money 62 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,541 from other people's money. 63 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,877 I'm giving the person who gave me the money the second 64 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:25,677 to the money who gave him-- 65 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:28,380 to the people who gave me money the first time. 66 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,081 I'm giving people money 67 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,482 who gave me the money the third time, 68 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,352 giving them the money for the second time. 69 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,354 Does that make any [bleep] sense? 70 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,488 [laughs] 71 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,055 - Sí, sí, sí. 72 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,491 - So eventually the editor of "The Boston Post," 73 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,394 Richard Grozier was like, this sounds crazy. 74 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,896 We're gonna write a story about it. 75 00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:45,797 So the editors of "The Boston Post" are like, 76 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,832 "To who it may concern, 77 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,501 "All you idiots in Boston who are buying these stamps, 78 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,704 "You're morons. This is a con. 79 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:53,872 Charles Ponzi is scheming you." 80 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:58,710 The next day, Charles Ponzi opens up this giant paper 81 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,612 and goes, holy shit. 82 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,781 These mother[bleep] are onto me. 83 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,583 He goes, I know what I'm gonna [bleep] do. 84 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,551 I'm gonna get a [bleep] publicist, 85 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,620 and I'm gonna [bleep] refute all these [bleep] charges. 86 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,856 Guess what. I'm hiring a guy named 87 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,591 William McMasters. 88 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,692 So William McMasters comes in and goes, 89 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,993 all right, I'll sit down with you. 90 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,664 He sits down with Charles Ponzi and Charles Ponzi goes, 91 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,799 I come from Italy. I try to make-a money. 92 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,467 They tell me I can't make-a money here. 93 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,635 And he's like, don't you [bleep] worry about it. 94 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:27,339 William McMasters is on the [bleep] case now. 95 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,807 So William McMasters goes to 96 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,509 the [bleep] "Boston Post" and goes, 97 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,877 guess what, you mother[bleep]. 98 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,912 I'ma invite you down here tomorrow. 99 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,747 And I'm gonna show you that Charles Ponzi's 100 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,482 the real [bleep] deal. 101 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,886 The next day, "The Boston Post" comes in to write an article 102 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,687 about Ponzi. 103 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,289 And Ponzi charms the pants off "The Boston Post". 104 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,925 And they, in return, write a very favorable article 105 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:51,296 about Ponzi and his, um, Ponzi, um, 106 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,565 Ponzi. [laughs] 107 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,467 - [laughs] - I'm trying-- 108 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,569 Then--and--and-- and the next day, 109 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,838 there's a [bleep] line around the block. 110 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,340 In that one day, 111 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:04,710 Charles Ponzi makes $3 million. 112 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,878 William McMasters sees that and goes, 113 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,513 hey, this looks very [bleep] fishy. 114 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,916 So he decides to investigate more as what's happening. 115 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,785 So eventually, William McMasters is going like, 116 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:14,920 oh, [bleep]. 117 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,622 I think that the [bleep] "Boston Post" was right. 118 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,991 This is all a scheme. 119 00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:20,726 So he says to Charles Ponzi, 120 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,728 hey, I got a [bleep] great idea. 121 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,062 I'm gonna [bleep] get 122 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,599 the [bleep] Boston district attorney's office 123 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,433 down here tomorrow 124 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,336 because I think that you're the [bleep] real deal. 125 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,371 And I think you should show them 126 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,607 you're the real deal so they can [bleep] leave you alone. 127 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,644 And Ponzi's like, that's why I hired you, McMasters. 128 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,878 You're the [bleep] man. 129 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,382 Thank you, a-so much-- [laughs] 130 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,783 Thank you so much. 131 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,485 William McMasters only worked for [bleep] Ponzi 132 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,086 for ten days, and in those ten days, 133 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:53,025 he figured out that Ponzi was a [bleep] scam artist. 134 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,560 The district attorney's office gets there, 135 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,828 and they start to interrogate him. 136 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,763 They go, we know that, uh, 137 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,831 you're not [bleep] getting the [bleep] coupons 138 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,633 from [bleep] Italy. 139 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,335 He--he--he reflects all their questions, says, 140 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,405 look, I can't give you the details about my investments 141 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,506 'cause I don't want to give the-- 142 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,908 the big banks of Wall Street my secrets. 143 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,943 Charles Ponzi convinces the [bleep] dis-- 144 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,045 Boston district attorney's office 145 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,046 and the attorney general's office 146 00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:16,381 so much that he's doing nothing wrong 147 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,549 that as--on their way out, 148 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,851 one of the district attorney's office little minions says 149 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,354 to [bleep] Charles Ponzi, 150 00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,121 if all this shit is true, 151 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,657 you're the most successful Italian-American 152 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,758 to ever come to America. 153 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,626 And Charles Ponzi says, me? 154 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,829 I think you're forgetting about Christopher Columbus. 155 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,364 And the [bleep] minion goes, like, 156 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,865 oh, shit, yeah, [bleep] good one. 157 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,901 And he walks out the [bleep] door. 158 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,035 After the [bleep] meeting, 159 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,604 Charles Ponzi knows exactly what William McMackster-- 160 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:42,374 William McMaster was trying to do, 161 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,175 says, see you [bleep] later. 162 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,810 You tried to [bleep]-a get me. 163 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,579 I get you fired. 164 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,447 You're gone. 165 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,147 Greg Masters is like, 166 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:53,452 I'm about to break open the biggest postal coupon 167 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,053 case in the history of Boston! 168 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,156 William McMasters goes to Richard Grozier, he goes 169 00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,658 again and says, you need to [bleep] 170 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,560 write an article about this mother[bleep]. 171 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,995 He is trying to [bleep] scam everybody. 172 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,697 You need to [bleep] write an article 173 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,431 about him to expose him. 174 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,033 And meanwhile, Charles Ponzi's going like, 175 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,568 holy shit. 176 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,503 I got a [bleep] line out the door now after 177 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,705 everybody [bleep] found out about this [bleep] meeting 178 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,807 with the [bleep] attorney general 179 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,676 and the--and the [bleep] district attorney. 180 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,711 Everybody wants their [bleep] money back. 181 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,846 [dramatic music] 182 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:21,747 And he's goes, oh, no. 183 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:25,717 I don't have enough money to pay everybody. 184 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,719 So he starts walking down a line, going like, 185 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,453 here's your money. 186 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:29,888 Thank you very much for all the [bleep] money for the coupons. 187 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,656 Here's your [bleep] money. 188 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:32,991 Thank you so much for all the [bleep] money 189 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,992 for the [bleep] goddamn coupons. 190 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,827 Here's your [bleep] money. 191 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,195 Here's all the money for the [bleep] coupons. 192 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,196 Looks at his [bleep] hand goes, 193 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,599 all right, well, uh, that's about all the money I got. 194 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,567 The rest to you, thank you so much for coming here. 195 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,136 I don't have any more [bleep] money left. 196 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:46,605 Goes, [bleep] leaves, [bleep] takes off. 197 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,807 That's when the [bleep] "Boston Post" goes, 198 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,675 holy shit. You were [bleep] right. 199 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,512 The next day, "The Boston Post" runs a giant article. 200 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:57,082 And Richard Gross takes all the credit 201 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,117 and never mentions William McMasters at all. 202 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:03,054 And they end up winning the [bleep] Pulitzer Prize for it. 203 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:07,092 And William McMasters' name is forgotten 204 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,860 in the--in this case, 205 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,628 the Ponzi scheme. 206 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:13,198 The saddest story in the history 207 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:18,036 of Italian-Americans, besides 208 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,638 "Rocky III." 209 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,772 [laughter] 210 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,607 Stay tuned for more "Drunk History". 211 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,610 You're not gonna believe what you see, 212 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,013 but you're gonna believe what you hear. 213 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,648 - [chuckling] 214 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,216 - Oh. 215 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,389 - This is Name That Song. - 'Kay. 216 00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:39,791 - It's exactly the right note, by the way. 217 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,828 - Oh, are you saying you have perfect pitch, 218 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,663 Derek Waters? - Pretty much. 219 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,998 - [scoffs] - All right, ready? 220 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,200 ♪ Baby! ♪ 221 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:51,670 - ♪ Na-na na-na na-na, kissed by a rose ♪ 222 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,905 - Whoa! 223 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:54,539 How did you know that? 224 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:58,210 - I'm extremely talented. 225 00:07:58,212 --> 00:07:59,945 [laughter] 226 00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,013 Hello, I'm Hillary Anne Matthews. 227 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:05,851 And today we're going to talk about Sadie Farrell, 228 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,954 AKA Sadie the Goat. 229 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:09,521 [dramatic music] 230 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:13,191 So the year is 1860-ish. 231 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:16,361 We're in Manhattan, in the Lower East Side, 232 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,896 which is a grizzly locale. 233 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:22,234 So Sadie pitched a male accomplice. 234 00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:24,369 And she was like, 235 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,105 hey, dude, what if 236 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,707 a guy comes out of a bar 237 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:32,010 and I will run up to him 238 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:36,114 and just head-butt him in the stomach 239 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,983 and disorient him? 240 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,251 And he was like, cool. 241 00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,819 I will take a slingshot 242 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,722 and from a distance, knock him out. 243 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:46,992 And that's how she earned the nickname "Sadie the Goat." 244 00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:49,961 Because news flash: goats head-butt things. 245 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:54,032 And Sadie is just running at them 246 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,334 and head-butting them in the stomach. 247 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,836 Slingshot! 248 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,204 [imitates popping] 249 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,138 And they made a lot of money. 250 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,873 They--like a decent living. 251 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,875 Like, it was like an honorable living. 252 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,177 You know, it wasn't like a super fancy, 253 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,112 really intense living. 254 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:08,246 - Wait. - It was like-- 255 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,481 - It wasn't fancy? 256 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,283 - It wasn't fancy. - The way they were living... 257 00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:12,751 - No. - Off head-butting people? 258 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,386 Okay. - So... 259 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,355 additionally, simultaneously, 260 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,391 there was a bar called the Hole in the Wall. 261 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:23,728 And there was a bouncer. Her name was Gallus Mag. 262 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,431 And Gallus Mag was 6-feet tall. 263 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,501 And additionally, she was a 264 00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:33,305 badass bitch, for real and for truly. 265 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:37,075 One day, our girl, Sadie the Goat, 266 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,811 comes into the Hole in the Wall bar, 267 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,913 and she, like, encounters Gallus Mag. 268 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,182 And here's the thing about Gallus Mag: 269 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:44,916 she was British. 270 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,918 Here's the thing about Sadie the Goat: 271 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:47,852 she was Irish. 272 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,187 Here's the thing about that time period: 273 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,389 white-on-white racism. 274 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,460 So Sadie the Goat, who was, like, a very mouthy individual 275 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,962 was like, umm, 276 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,964 the thing about British people is that, like, 277 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:02,934 they, like, are-- like, always like, 278 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,203 "Ugh. Big Ben..." - [chuckling] 279 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:08,340 - "Is, like, a big clock." 280 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,407 And Gallus Mag was like, 281 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,810 please dial back what you're saying. 282 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,845 And Sadie the Goat was just like, 283 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,215 well, additionally, beans on toast! 284 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,384 Gallus Mag was like, 285 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,453 you're being too crazy. 286 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,189 So she took Sadie the Goat by the ear 287 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,358 and she dragged her to the door. 288 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,528 And Sadie the Goat was like, [squeals] 289 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:33,498 [squealing] 290 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,935 [squealing] 291 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:37,535 [laughs] 292 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,371 - [chuckling] 293 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:42,340 - So Gallus Mag chomps off 294 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:45,243 her mo-effing ear. 295 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,911 And she puts it into a jar of alcohol. 296 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:50,115 And it was like such a great trophy that she labels it, 297 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,450 "Sadie the Ears." Nope. 298 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,918 "Sadie the Goat's Ear." 299 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,287 And she put it on her trophy case. 300 00:10:56,289 --> 00:11:00,325 At this point, Sadie the Goat is very em-- 301 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,292 embarrassed. 302 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,261 And she then witnesses 303 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,865 this gang called the Charlton Street Gang. 304 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,299 And they're trying to commandeer 305 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,101 a small ship. 306 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,170 But they're doing a very, very bad job. 307 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,039 So she's like, you guys, 308 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,375 you're doing not a good job, 309 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,510 and because of me, 310 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,246 I can make you do a very good job. 311 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,214 And if you want to work together, 312 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,883 we can be more successful. 313 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,851 And they're like, okay, listen. 314 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,354 Sadie the Goat, if that is your real name, 315 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,021 we--we're on board. 316 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:34,159 So they start cruising up and down the Hudson. 317 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:34,959 And they are just, like, 318 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,897 stealing things and pillaging small towns. 319 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,533 And she was like, [chuckles] 320 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:45,270 Obviously I need to start kidnapping people hardcore. 321 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,205 So she's kidnapping people and she's like, 322 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,442 I don't care if your loved ones love you enough 323 00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,343 to pay your ransom. Like, 324 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,447 I am gonna make you walk the plank right now. 325 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:59,017 And he's like, no, I'm so sorry I back-talked you. 326 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:02,320 And she was like, I'm Sadie the Goat! 327 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,254 And then she, like, 328 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,090 drops him off the plank 329 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,325 and he splashes into the river like... 330 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,895 [imitates splashing] 331 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,996 - [laughs] 332 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,631 - So they get the police involved. 333 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,667 And they lie in wait, and they're like, 334 00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:19,037 okay, we're gonna get Sadie the Goat. 335 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:23,174 And when Sadie and the gang members disembark, 336 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,142 they ambushed them. 337 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,010 And they really did some damage 338 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,913 'cause they were shooting a lot of guns. 339 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,949 And so Sadie and her gentlemen 340 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:34,919 suffered enough casualties that, at the end of it, 341 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:35,687 Sadie was like, 342 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:39,491 yo, I got to pack it in. 343 00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,326 So Sadie the Goat 344 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,027 returns to the Fourth Ward. 345 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:46,297 And she went to go visit Gallus Mag. 346 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,366 And she was like, hi. 347 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:51,336 Listen, I know I was, like, super crazy, 348 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,404 and, like, I'm so sorry for that. 349 00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:54,706 It was my bad. 350 00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,641 And Gallus Mag is like, 351 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,243 I have something for you. 352 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:01,946 And Sadie's like, what could it be? 353 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,381 And Gallus Mag presents her 354 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,050 with Sadie's ear. 355 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,386 [calm orchestral music] 356 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,454 And Sadie the Goat is like, 357 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:13,258 regardless of whatever is between our legs, 358 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,726 we are--mmm-- 359 00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:17,362 really down to clown, and, like, we are, like, 360 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,698 really down to, like, really tear shit up. 361 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,735 And, like, I will head-butt you in the stomach 362 00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:24,669 and I will chomp your ear off 363 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,105 and, like, thank you for being a friend. 364 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,475 That's how we got the "Golden Girls" soundtrack 365 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,278 song, Derek Waters. 366 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,313 ♪ Thank you for being a friend ♪ 367 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,750 - ♪ If you threw a party ♪ 368 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,185 - [laughs] 369 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:43,321 Keep going. - I--I don't know... 370 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,055 - Yeah, neither do me. 371 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:47,458 [cheesy upbeat music] 372 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,259 One baby carrot. 373 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,662 Probably not what Sadie the Goat used, but... 374 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:54,098 - All right, wait. What--what am I supposed to do? 375 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,600 Oh, oh, how many en-- 376 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,136 oh! [bleep]! 377 00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,704 [slow-motion ricochet] 378 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:04,175 - Sadie the Goat! 379 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,143 - Do you want that in here? - Yeah. 380 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,512 - Or do you want that separate? - Yes, please. 381 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,179 Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 382 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,216 - This is nice. 383 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,718 If you do all this, it's nice. 384 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,787 And I have no problems with you. 385 00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:18,256 - [chuckles] 386 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,391 - [laughs] 387 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,359 Hello. 388 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,496 I'm Rich Fulcher, and today we're gonna talk about 389 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,366 Lord Gordon-Gordon. 390 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,237 Lord Gordon-Gordon was initially 391 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,572 a guy named Hubert Hamilton. 392 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:38,543 He was swindling all these jewelers in London. 393 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,846 He stole about $100,000 from them. 394 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:45,617 And he's like, come on, mother-sucker! 395 00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,518 He was not only a con man. 396 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,288 He took it to the next level. 397 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,524 Hubert Hamilton moved to New York 398 00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,661 and changed his name to Lord Gordon-Gordon. 399 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,898 Which is like, what? 400 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,133 So his whole scam was 401 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,802 he's pretending that he's Scottish royalty. 402 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:09,374 He wore a kilt and that was one of his big selling points. 403 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,310 He's like, I'm wearing a kilt, ya [bleep], ya. 404 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:16,180 Oh, by the way I'm a collateral relative 405 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,918 of a Lord Byron and cousin of the Campbells. 406 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:24,389 This guy is like "Catch Me If You Can" 407 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,624 meets "20/20". 408 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,659 - I love that. 409 00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:30,194 I can't--I want to know about that. 410 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,863 - Lord Gord-- [burps] 411 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:33,197 Oh. Lord Gordon-Gordon 412 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:38,403 is introduced to this guy named Horace Greeley, 413 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,338 who was an editor of the "New York Tribune." 414 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,341 And so Horace Greeley said, hey, listen. 415 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,711 My friend Jay Gould, this guy--[hiccups] 416 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:50,782 Guy is the top of the New York business community. 417 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,484 Jay Gould was 418 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,620 one of the biggest robber barons. 419 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,455 But-- [hiccups] 420 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,526 he's got a problem with the Erie Railroad. 421 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,560 So Horace-- 422 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,061 [hiccups] 423 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,897 Greeley comes to Jay Gould and says, 424 00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,566 hey, I think I know a guy who can help you out 425 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,600 with your Erie-- [hiccups] 426 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,769 Railroad problem. 427 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:14,772 His name is Lord Gordon-Gordon, which-- 428 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,675 [hiccups] Go with me, it's great. 429 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,577 He's, like, a real lord. He-- 430 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,245 [hiccups] Wears a kilt. 431 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,615 Underneath his kilt is his dick and balls. 432 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,884 - [chuckling] 433 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,519 - [laughs] 434 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:32,323 So the thing is this guy 435 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,825 has convlin-- 436 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,394 convnnc--com-- 437 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:39,564 [groans] convince. 438 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,398 Jay Gould was-- [hiccups] 439 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:45,536 so paranoid about Erie Railroad being taken over. 440 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,739 So Lord Gord-- [hiccups] 441 00:16:47,741 --> 00:16:50,541 Gordon-Gordon took advantage of it, 442 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,644 and said, hey, I own, like, 443 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:54,679 the major-- [hiccups] 444 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,648 Majority of stock. [hiccups] 445 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,149 [belches] 446 00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,651 And Jay Gould says, 447 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,353 shit, you--you--you [bleep]! 448 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:06,257 The board of directors are [bleep] me around 449 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,292 so if you could help me around. 450 00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,460 Gordon-Gordon said, 451 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,329 I can help you-- [hiccupping] 452 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:14,732 but I need some money to do this. 453 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,435 And Jay Gould gave him 454 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:21,005 $160,000 in cash-- [hiccups] 455 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,974 And the rest in stock. 456 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,411 Lord Gordon-Gordon tries to sell the stock. 457 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:30,648 When Jay Gould realized he had been swindled, 458 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:35,319 he's like, he's [bleep] stealing from me! 459 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,554 [yells] 460 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:40,625 Oh, [bleep] actual-- [squealing] 461 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:44,562 Mother[bleep]! God damn mother[bleep]! 462 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:49,467 He used his connections to have Gordon-Gordon arrested. 463 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:53,838 He is being grilled on the stan--[hiccups] 464 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,539 stand by the judge. 465 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:58,576 He's citing off all of his Scottish relatives. 466 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,011 I am part of the Campbells. 467 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:06,451 I am a collateral relative of Lord Byron, blah, blah, blah. 468 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,753 And the judge is just eating this shit up. 469 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,089 Right? Like, he's going, 470 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,957 [obscene slurping] 471 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,593 Mm--nah, mm. 472 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,895 Mm, nom, nom, nom. 473 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,797 These stupid guys, 474 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,632 they gave him bail. 475 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,368 So that night-- [hiccups] 476 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:28,940 Jay Gould calls up England and says, 477 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,576 do you know this guy? 478 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,645 They say, I don't know this guy. 479 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,380 And so Jay Gould goes, 480 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:40,384 tomorrow at-- at quat, 481 00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,120 which is court, 482 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,355 I'm gonna say that 483 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,725 he's not a nobleman or anything. 484 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,393 And it turns out that 485 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:54,098 Lord Gordon-Gordon has gotten on the train 486 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,535 to Montreal! 487 00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,837 [imitates train chugging] 488 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,972 He's on the-- [hiccups] 489 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,740 He's on the run. [hiccups] 490 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,841 Nobody can find him. 491 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:07,845 Jay Gould puts a $25,000-- [hiccups] 492 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,148 Ransom out on his ass. 493 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:16,954 Ah-- 494 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:17,622 ah--ah-- 495 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,925 Um, the guy... 496 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:24,962 [patriotic music] 497 00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,834 - Oh, so what happens was 498 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,504 word got out to Lord Gordon squared 499 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,807 that these guys were gonna catch him. 500 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,076 And he knew his number was up. 501 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:43,347 So he decided to throw a big Winnipeg. 502 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,550 [laughs] 503 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,451 - [chuckles] 504 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,056 - He decided to throw a big party. 505 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:55,092 He had a--the all the high-society people, 506 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,862 and they're all, like, crazy. 507 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,199 Like, yes, this is great. 508 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,967 And then all of a sudden, 509 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,369 lawmen show up, and they say, 510 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,838 we're looking for Lord Gordon-Gordon. 511 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,974 And Lord Gordon-Gordon looks at them, and he says, 512 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:15,446 hold on, I've got to get me Tam o' Shanter. 513 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,548 It's a Scottish hat. 514 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:18,849 [dramatic music pounds] 515 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,418 All of a sudden, they hear a gunshot. 516 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,221 [imitates gunshot] Lord Gordon-Gordon 517 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:27,358 shot himself in the temple and died 518 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,194 from the gunshot. 519 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:30,695 So anyway... 520 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,563 - Oh, I thought that was the end of the story. 521 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,267 - No. [blows raspberry] 522 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:39,837 [blowing raspberries] 523 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,543 [dramatic orchestral music] 524 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:52,917 ♪ ♪ 525 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,232 - Derek, might I be able to head-butt you? 526 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:12,103 In the stomach? In the tummy, directly? 527 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,137 - Sure. 528 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,372 - Well, then, get ready! 529 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:17,341 [blow lands] - [screams] 530 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:19,977 All right, we're done. 531 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,512 - Yay!