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00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,253
Adult Adam: Back in the '80s,
Beverly Goldberg
2
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,838
was a certified super mom.
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00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,381
Kissy monster attack!
4
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,550
She raised three kids
with a parenting style
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00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,551
that was uniquely her own.
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00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,969
[ Purrs ]
Mom!
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00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,346
But now my sister had a baby.
[ Muriel fussing ]
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00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,015
And it was Erica's turn
to do her mom thing.
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00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,433
Man, this girl
is cranky.
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00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,935
What's your deal, baby?
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00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,728
I know you don't have words,
but tell me!
12
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Oh, that's my rock.
Always cool under pressure.
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[ Muriel crying ]
Sorry, it's just
really frustrating
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00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,192
not being able
to calm her.
15
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,443
Let's just call
the pediatrician,
16
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,654
or that Army doctor
that watches the president.
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00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:31,990
Relax. The only healer
you need is Dr. Bev.
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Mom, go back to making
an impossibly heavy lunch.
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00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,662
My 12-bean chili can wait.
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12? Isn't that
just all the beans?
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[ Sighs ]
Don't engage her.
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Mom, we got this.
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Do you?
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What if she has diaper rash,
or cradle cap, or cooties,
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or Pac-Man fever?
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I'm pretty sure
some of those are made up
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and one is a song?
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Just let me use
my sure-fire method
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of soothing any baby.
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Don't say
a chicken bone.
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A chicken bone--
nature's pacifier.
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00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,601
I'm not letting my baby gnaw
on a day-old drumstick.
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Why is that
in your pocket?
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You don't ask Shakespeare
why he carries a quill.
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Face it, Mom.
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Your baby tricks
are weird and outdated.
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Excuse me, but I have raised
three children
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who are all
now thriving adults.
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Hey, anyone know
what day it is?
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I have a dental appointment
on Friday.
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00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,534
It's Saturday.
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Well, my intense
jaw pain
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will probably go away
on its own, right?
[ Door opens, closes ]
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Terrible news!
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I was playing playground
basketball and lost!
46
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The other guys were cheating
by being taller and fitter!
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Oh, Poopie!
[ Gasps ]
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Your heart is racing.
49
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I punted their ball
into the woods,
50
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but it only settled me down
a little.
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[ Muriel crying ]
Well, I have the solution
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for both my Schmoos
right here.
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Barry, this ol' bone
should ease your restless mind.
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All my worries
are melted away
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with the power
of chicken.
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Wh-- If Barry gets a bone,
I want one.
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Of course you do. Mm.
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You can't argue
with results, Erica.
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You've certainly done
a number on these two.
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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- Captions by VITAC--
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
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It was February 15th,
1980-something.
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Barry and I had been sharing
a bedroom as adult brothers.
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And this is pretty much
how it was going.
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Gah!
The hell, Barry?!
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Cross at your own risk.
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This sliver of space
is now my training dojo.
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Kee-ya!
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There's the entire outside
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for you to pretend
what you do matters.
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'Chuck in nature where
the elements also attack?
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Think before you speak.
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Turns out, my childhood bedroom
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was way too cramped
for two grown men.
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Why are you blocking
my path?
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Why are you
wearing a towel
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00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,571
around your nipples
like a lady?
Wow.
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And, of course, I had
a serious girlfriend.
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Not that Barry cared.
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Carmen, I miss your face.
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I haven't seen you in...
37 excruciating minutes.
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The hell, dude?!
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The thought of you
being romantic disgusts me.
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And if we're being honest,
probably her.
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But even worse than
the small space,
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we were both very stubborn.
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Get the lights.
Already tucked in.
You get 'em.
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I got in bed first.
You're closer.
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And now you're closer.
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How incredibly petty.
I'm impressed.
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I will stand here all night.
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I know how much you need
your precious darkness.
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My jacked eyelids will be
my blackout curtains.
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[ Clicks ]
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I'll kill you
and everyone you know
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and some you don't!
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You're right by
the light switch!
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Just hit it
and end this!
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I'd rather
never sleep again.
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Fine by me!
Good night!
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Good night to you, too!
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What is going on in here?
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I need to move out.
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Ideally,
to a modern penthouse
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with a 360-degree view
and a live-in butler.
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But I'll take a slightly
lower level and a sassy maid.
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You could stay here
and I'll be your sassy maid.
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Fun stuff.
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Now get on the horn
with the Realtor
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and see what's available
near the mayor's mansion.
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So, I'm paying
for you to leave me?
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I'm a medical student.
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Well, you're also an adult.
So figure it out on your own.
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Yesterday you
brushed out my hair
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as I was watching
"Scooby-Doo!"
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You're my little Shaggy,
and you're not going anywhere.
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Mwah!
[ Sighs ]
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I need
to get out of here.
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I've never been
with you more.
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Now turn out
the lights!
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Never!
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Out of funds and options,
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Barry went to the JTP,
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his best buds,
who would never refuse him.
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No way. Pass.
Sorry, bud.
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But it's me-- Barry!
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The original guy-- Barry!
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We love you, Big Tasty,
but we've got no room.
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What about my old room?
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The one with all
the holes in the wall
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from your homemade
hunting bow?
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You mean the adorable
peek-a-boo holes
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I made to the kitchen?
It's my room now.
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No way!
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Andy can sleep in a drawer,
or a shoe box,
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or whatever box you use
to ship one Skittle.
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First, I would
be average height
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if we lived
in Ecuador.
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And I think
what you just said
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highlights
the main problem here--
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you were
a crappy roommate.
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This is news to me.
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You regularly ate our food
even though it was labeled.
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I'm a hungry
and hilarious wild card
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that you root for!
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00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,866
You wore my only suit
to go waterskiing.
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I brought your pants back.
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But do you bring
the rent money?
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My rent will be paid
in sordid tales
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of what it was like
to live with me
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before I was famous.
[ Mouths word ]
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00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,751
Think how rich in stories
the poor losers are
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00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,420
who lived with pre-"Miami Vice"
Don Johnson.
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So, we're the poor losers
in this scenario
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and you're
Don Johnson?
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I didn't hear a no.
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No.
Big no from me.
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[Bleep] no.
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As Barry's tale of woe
fell on deaf ears,
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my mom was hearing
a different kind of sadness.
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[ Muriel crying ]
I'm sorry, does anyone else
hear a crying baby?
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Sure do.
Loud and clear.
166
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[ Crying continues ]
167
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Okay, fine.
I'll just go and...
168
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Bup-bup!
169
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Geoff and I are gonna
let her cry it out.
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Cry it out?
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According
to Dr. Ferber,
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Muriel can
regulate herself.
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Your words
are insane!
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I'm not gonna let my baby
regulate herself!
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My baby.
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A very important and
too often repeated distinction.
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I need to help
my granddaughter.
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Muriel, it's Bubbe.
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Let my voice
be your blanket.
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Stop it!
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Geoff, pin my mom's arms!
Muriel!
182
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,756
Can't do it.
There are too many scenarios
183
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:40,924
where I end up
in a trauma center. Alright.
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Grandma's here.
Gah!
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I can't be here right now!
186
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I'm taking the baby
to the park.
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[ Footsteps ]
[ Sighs lightly ]
188
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You did the right thing
by not touching me, Geoff.
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You honor me
with your fear.
190
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,020
Adult Adam:
And so, fed up with my mom,
191
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Erica took Muriel
for a change of scenery.
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But she got a lot more
than that.
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00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,027
[ Gasps ]
Oh, she's adorable!
194
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,320
Oh, thanks!
[ Chuckles ]
195
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,446
If you saw her
10 minutes ago,
196
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,699
she sounded like
a tiny tornado siren.
197
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,075
This one
looks unassuming,
198
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,201
but she's coming
off a diaper
199
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,953
that could knock out
Ivan Drago.
200
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,079
Muriel has sent me
to the canvas
201
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,789
a few times.
[ Both chuckle ]
202
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,582
I'm Erica,
by the way.
203
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,833
Lauren.
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00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,626
And this is Hazel.
205
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,795
Oh, you are
too cute, Hazel.
206
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,505
Are those
baby Jordaches?
207
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,591
We're matching for
our daily park walk.
208
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:23,967
Whoa. You come here
every day?
209
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,468
Between naps
three and four.
210
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,596
We're pretty drilled
into our routine.
211
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,307
I think I've left the house
twice in five months.
212
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,017
Both times to pick up
baby wipes.
213
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,102
Once for the kid and once
because my husband ate ribs.
214
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,478
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]
215
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,272
While Erica made
a new mom friend,
216
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,190
living with my brother
was getting old.
217
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,817
[ Toilet flushes ]
What the...
218
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,944
Morning, bro.
219
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,070
Why am I
in the hallway?
220
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,822
Your sleeping
was bothering me.
221
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,032
Was I snoring
or something?
222
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,366
No, I just didn't like
223
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,368
that you were
smugly enjoying a dream
224
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,329
and I was stuck
in the lame waking world.
225
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,664
That's funny, because I was
beating you up in my dream.
226
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,915
Impossible.
227
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,667
In every realm
I'd dominate you.
228
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,628
You were crying
and begging me to stop.
229
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:02,339
Also, you said you loved
the Dallas Cowboys.
230
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:03,381
No!
231
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,091
Go back to sleep right now
and fix it!
232
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,635
I'll tuck you in!
Get off me!
233
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,345
Hello!
234
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,763
I heard the chittering
of conversation.
235
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,764
Is your mom here?
236
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,015
She's out speed walking,
237
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,391
which is just
what I call walking.
238
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,976
My losing streak continues.
239
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,728
My Science-a-bration
is ruined.
240
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,021
Your what?
241
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,356
It's my week-long
scholastic party
242
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,650
honoring
the wonders of science.
243
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,027
And this year, I finally landed
Slim Goodbody.
244
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,570
Noice!
Who's that?
245
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,905
Allow me to show you.
246
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:32,452
Make sure you eat
a rainbow of foods every day.
247
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,703
Adult Adam:
Yep, before Google,
248
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,581
this guy was how
we learned the human form.
249
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,958
He is a hero
of the edu-tainment world.
250
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,251
And he was all mine.
251
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,504
Until he bailed
for his niece's bat mitzvah
252
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,755
in Ann Arbor.
253
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,049
I guess family
is more important than $1,000.
254
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,967
Dollars.
I heard dollars.
255
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,345
All for prancing around
in his veiny underwear?
256
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,888
Plus lodging, travel,
257
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,224
and for some reason,
500 red M&M's.
258
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,767
That's enough cash
for a down payment
259
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:56,810
on an apartment!
260
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,852
We're in!
We?
261
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,396
In what?
Think about it.
262
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,439
Who's crushing
medical school right now,
263
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,441
a place where
they educate people
264
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,818
about the human body?
265
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,236
Weirdly, you.
266
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,154
And who famously brings
light entertainment
267
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,572
to the school stage?
268
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,199
Me.
See?
269
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,827
I'm the "edu"--
you're the "tainment."
270
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,870
If it'll get you out
of my room, I'm in!
271
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,164
Let's edu-tain
some kids!
Yes!
272
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,541
History would tell me
to say no,
273
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,626
but I need to trust
my leaky gut.
274
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,169
Deal.
275
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,046
As Barry concocted a plan
to find his way
276
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,381
out of the house...
[ Door bell rings ]
277
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,842
...my sister's new friend
was dropping in.
278
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,593
I brought wine
for our coffee cups!
279
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,554
Oh, my God, stop.
Come in!
[ Chuckles ]
280
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,055
Hi there!
281
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,307
I'm the mom behind the mom--
Beverly Goldberg.
282
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,268
This is Lauren.
And that's Geoff.
283
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,853
[ English accent ]
Grandiose gobs of greetings.
284
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,396
Don't.
[ Normal voice ]
Save the gold, got it.
285
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,314
You two are famous.
[ Chuckles ]
286
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,941
Erica's
my new best friend,
287
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,193
which makes our babies
best friends.
288
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,446
Oh, I'll always
be Erica and Muriel's
289
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,322
first and only best friend,
290
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,409
but that's a fun way to say
something totally untrue.
291
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,119
Okay, we should skedaddle.
292
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,162
Geoff, can you
feed the baby?
293
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,539
Already handled
by Mama Supreme.
294
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,666
Milk and formula,
just like you said.
295
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,419
Then I sprinkled in some cereal
to sweeten it up.
296
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,713
Wazdatnow?
Wait, you gave
a little baby cereal?
297
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,922
Just Boo Berry.
298
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,883
I shook the bottle
to make the milk blue.
299
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,093
She gobbled it right up.
Yum-yum!
300
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,261
Cereal's a choking hazard.
[ Nervous chuckle ]
301
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,304
Please!
302
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,638
Yesterday I was making
shrimp parm,
303
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,807
and I gave Muriel
a prawn to gnaw on.
304
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,309
She loved it.
305
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,352
What if she has
a shellfish allergy?
306
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,189
Yeah, what if my daughter
has a shellfish allergy?
307
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,149
[ Laughing ]
Can you imagine?
308
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,485
Ah!
Yikes. [ Sighs ]
309
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,694
You know, it's none
of my business,
310
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:30,779
but I am noticing
311
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,197
the exposed outlets
right there.
312
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,324
You might want to consider
baby-proofing.
313
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,034
Oh, in this house
we don't baby-proof.
314
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,160
We Bubbe-proof.
315
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,412
Which means that
Bubbe, me,
316
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,916
never takes her eyes off
the baby, she, ever.
317
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,375
C'mon, Erica.
It's not her fault.
318
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,960
She's just from
a different time.
319
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,878
[ Door opens ]
Byeee!
320
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,884
Well, who the [bleep] [bleep]
[bleep] does she think she is?
321
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,928
Um, Erica's new friend?
322
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,012
I'm Erica's friend.
323
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,305
Maybe this one time,
324
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,224
you should just
go with the flow?
325
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,893
Go with the flow.
326
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,061
[ Whispers ] Yeah.
327
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,897
[ Breathes sharply ]
That's me. That's me.
328
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,650
I'm gonna choose to take
your icy and distant stare
329
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,193
as thoughtful reflection.
330
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,320
Yay! We're all
good people here!
331
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,280
Nobody believed that.
332
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,410
Barry needed money bad.
333
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,079
So he hoped a gig
in edu-tainment
334
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,455
would help him close the deal.
335
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,915
Congrats!
336
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,251
You have been handpicked
to be a test audience
337
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,294
for a new show
about the human body.
338
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,171
Handpicked.
I was forced here.
339
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,673
This isn't
a lasagna tasting?
340
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:35,677
And now we present to you
"Organs 'n' Friends."
341
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,886
Barry: Ow!
342
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,973
[ Deep voice ]
Howdy! Hearty Marty here!
343
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,308
[ High-pitched voice ]
And I'm Olivia Liver!
344
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,476
As your heart,
345
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:47,480
I move blood throughout
your whooole body!
346
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,483
And, man, does that
get me pumped!
347
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,026
[ Laughter ]
It's 'cause
hearts pump.
348
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,027
That's great.
349
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,155
Halt the show!
350
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,740
JTP, thoughts so far?
351
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,826
Adorable!
I want a liver
for my niece!
352
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,369
I'm invested
and crave more!
353
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,705
Exactly. You guys
all hate it, too.
354
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,040
I mean, look
at this pathetic puppet.
355
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,168
Hearts don't
have eyes.
356
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,295
You were looking
for a realistic heart?
357
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,921
And the lady liver
has a nose.
358
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,882
Does she smell
or regulate chemical levels
359
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:14,883
and excrete bile?
360
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,342
Is that a science
question?
361
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,678
Because I don't even know
where the sun goes at night.
362
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,762
You should probably
know that.
363
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,223
And where is the song
about the toe fungus,
364
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,559
or the cluster migraine,
or the monologue
365
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,187
by a charred lung
of a lifelong smoker?
366
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,438
Do kids even need
to know that stuff?
367
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,856
Do I?
368
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,732
Isn't this just about
getting your money
369
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,983
so you can move out?
370
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,569
As an almost doctor,
I demand perfection.
371
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,571
Throw it all out.
Start all over.
372
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,489
I'm gonna do the only
reasonable thing.
373
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,824
Everything I ask?
374
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,034
I quit!
375
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,869
Me, too!
376
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,039
Fine! Good edu-tainment
doesn't need the "tainment"--
377
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,123
just the "edu."
378
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,499
That's right.
379
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,085
William Penn students
are about to get educated.
380
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,629
[ Door closes ]
That's just school.
381
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,005
I don't think he gets it.
382
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,507
I am so happy
he doesn't live with us.
383
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,010
Barry was learning
a hard lesson in edu-tainment.
384
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,303
My mom would soon learn
385
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,472
that going with the flow
wasn't so easy.
386
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,058
Thanks for helping me
carry in my groceries.
387
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,560
Oh, the pleasure is mine.
[ Chuckles ]
388
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,895
That's a lie.
389
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,396
I have a pinched nerve
in my back,
390
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,357
and I shouldn't be carrying
these or anything else.
391
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,691
Well, let me give you
a tranquilizer
392
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,235
my doctor said
I didn't need,
393
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,945
but that
I demanded anyway.
394
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,115
Well, that's strange.
395
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,368
Allow me.
396
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,535
I have a sturdy core
from my days
397
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,870
of baton twirling.
[ Chuckles ]
398
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,375
Right behind you.
399
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,418
Tricky pistachio!
How did you get that open?
400
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,045
Don't freak out,
but Erica hired
401
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,838
a baby-proofing guy.
402
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,257
Our house had been covered...
[ Dramatic music plays ]
403
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,842
...padded, gated, and locked.
404
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,969
[ Beverly gasps ]
405
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,887
And there was only
one person to blame.
406
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,430
[ Sighs ]
That new mom friend.
407
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,974
I forget her name.
408
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,892
Lauren.
Lauren.
409
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,519
Oh, good, you're home.
410
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,729
Look, I know you said no,
but the guys at Boo Boo Busters
411
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:55,066
did an amazing job
making this a safe environment.
412
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,944
In that moment, my mom
could either go nuclear
413
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,571
or take Geoff's advice
to go with the flow.
414
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,031
Agreed. I love it.
415
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,574
Please thank Lauren
for me.
416
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,285
For real?
417
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,869
I'm just surprised
because it felt like
418
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,162
you guys
did not hit it off.
419
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,414
Well, she really
seems to know
420
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,581
what she's
talking about.
421
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,958
She's a total pro.
422
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,959
Maybe she could even
help pry you
423
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,711
out of the baby Stone Age.
424
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,796
[ Bell tolls ]
May-be.
425
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,799
I'm gonna get the baby ready
for her music class at Lauren's.
426
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:20,925
[ Tongue clicks ] Ta!
427
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,887
You're going to that
baby music class, aren't you?
428
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,015
It's time I showed
her little mama pal
429
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,434
who knows more
about parenting.
430
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,561
As my mom prepared
for a takedown,
431
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,771
Barry was studying the master.
432
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:37,150
I just need a fresh new idea
that visually depicts
433
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,235
the inner workings
of the human body.
434
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,904
Like something where
you show the organs?
Yes.
435
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,948
And put them
on your person?
You're getting it.
436
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,199
And then,
you dance around and sing?
437
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,492
All those things!
438
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,953
Isn't that just
Slim Goodbody's whole act?
439
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,330
Yes! I'll just do
what he does.
440
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,374
But that was easier
said than done.
441
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,585
This has, like, 200 bones.
442
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,795
The human body has 206!
443
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:58,880
Next.
444
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,923
[ Sighs ] Too simple.
445
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,216
What was I thinking?
446
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,927
No one reads.
We can read that.
447
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,221
Yeah, I can read it fine,
to be honest with you.
I mean, I-I read--
I read all the time.
448
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,347
Yes!
449
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,515
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
450
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,350
This is the one.
451
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,896
Uh, Bar, it's a little,
um, revealing.
452
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,023
[ Gasps ] Oh, no!
453
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,692
Yeah, looked like my bro
had to give up.
454
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,195
That is, until...
455
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,030
Stop!
456
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:27,700
I just had
a very meaty idea.
457
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,786
Is it that you're gonna make
a suit outta cold cuts?
458
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,996
To the local meatery!
[ JTP groan ]
459
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,499
With that, Barry had
a new beat on his act.
460
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,168
Meanwhile, Erica's music class
had just begun.
461
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:40,421
And we're hearing
the glockenspiel.
462
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,048
Figured this would be
more of a--
463
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,175
a clap your macaroni shaker
[chuckles] type of deal.
464
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,676
Ms. Lizzy has a PhD
465
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,595
in musicology
and child development.
466
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,598
She's also a loon,
so don't make eye contact.
467
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,350
Sorry I'm late!
Mom?
468
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,394
And sorry to the white Mercedes
I love-tapped backing in.
469
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,063
Oh, that was me.
470
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,523
I'm sure it'll
buff out.
471
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:01,359
Now, why don't we try
a collective choral experience?
472
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,194
Um, how about
"Old MacDonald"?
473
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,362
Unfortunately,
"Old MacDonald"
474
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,447
is not on our
approved song list.
475
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,407
Yeah, see, the goal is
to create an environment
476
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,284
free of negativity
and judgment.
477
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,161
And "Old MacDonald"
is a horrid tale
478
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,621
of animal imprisonment.
479
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,915
Old MacDonald treated
all of his animals
480
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,709
with dignity
and respect. Mm.
481
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,629
Then, he eats them, so...
[ Babies babbling ]
482
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,339
Let's not forget
the number one rule
483
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,383
we laid out
in the beginning of class...
484
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:30,721
Together:
♪ If we say it, we can sing it ♪
485
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:31,973
Say what now?
486
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,808
♪ You must sing
everything ♪
487
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,476
♪ Use your mouth ♪
488
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,563
♪ Fine, then,
I will sing my thoughts ♪
489
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,274
♪ I'd prefer
if you did not ♪
490
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,441
♪ It's okay ♪
491
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,318
♪ Let's hear
what backwards nonsense ♪
492
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,778
♪ She has to say ♪
493
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,072
♪ The only backwards
thing here is you ♪
494
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,908
♪ And also Ms. Lizzy's
attitude... ♪
495
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,368
...towards deodorant.
496
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,328
Okay, time out
on the scary singing.
497
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,705
Yeah, she's
ruining my class.
498
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,416
Shove your music class
and your baby-proofing.
499
00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,709
You've been a mom
for five minutes.
500
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,960
You don't know crap.
501
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,420
Come on, Erica.
502
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,880
No.
503
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,631
Mom, did you ever think
that maybe you don't have
504
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,425
all the answers
about parenting?
505
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,926
I've raised
three children.
506
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,678
I think I know plenty.
507
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,097
Maybe you weren't as good
of a mom as you thought.
508
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,475
♪
509
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,144
Here's your
side-view mirror.
510
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,897
♪
511
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,651
The Science-a-bration
was falling flat.
512
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,028
And Mr. Glascott hoped
513
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,696
that Barry could pick it up.
514
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:32,617
What an inspired performance
by the dancing molar!
515
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,702
Be better, Alan.
516
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,704
I can't believe I agreed
to come to this.
517
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,789
I'm just here to see what
Barry brings to the table--
518
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,082
namely, a meat suit.
519
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,083
Meat suit?
520
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,501
That's all the context
you need.
521
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,546
Last up, we couldn't get
the real Slim Goodbody,
522
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,966
so, parents and students,
please welcome...
523
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,052
Barry Insides.
524
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,762
Ohhhh, no.
Whoo!
525
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:53,512
[ Audience gasps ]
526
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,097
Oh, yes.
527
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,974
Instead of a perfectly good
puppet show,
528
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,768
my brother stapled
a bunch of lunch meat
529
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,102
to his body.
530
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,605
Oh, that is pungent
and horrifying.
531
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,315
And is that your
family dog behind you?
532
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,942
Lucky followed me here.
Just ignore her.
533
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,069
Hi, kids and parents!
534
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,613
It's me-- Barry Insides!
535
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,657
I'm here to give you
a graphic look
536
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,992
at the insides
of all our bodies.
537
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,245
It wasn't educational
or entertaining.
538
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,038
He just turned the kids
off science
539
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,915
and deli meats forever.
540
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,793
Check out my hyper-realistic
lower intestines!
541
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,169
I think this is going
really good.
542
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,379
Who wants to come up here
543
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,881
and feel how wet and squishy
my bladder is?
544
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:29,840
No, girl.
[ Laughter ]
545
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,259
Okay.
You know what?
546
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,594
Uh, let's just move on
to refreshments.
547
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,514
Yep, only Lucky was eating up
Barry's performance.
548
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,391
Meanwhile,
Erica had to apologize
549
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,226
for the scene my mom made.
550
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,603
[ Baby crying ]
551
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,188
Erica, hi.
552
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,274
Look, I feel
so bad about...
553
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,275
[ Crying continues ]
554
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,151
Is everything okay?
Totally.
555
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:52,530
Just, you know, hour six
of a screaming, crying fit.
556
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,198
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I can come back.
557
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,116
No, no, it's fine.
Everything's fine.
558
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,868
Just, um,
like Dr. Ferber said,
559
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,537
baby's gotta learn
to self-soothe.
560
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,747
[ Chuckles ]
561
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,292
Oh, my gosh, it's so hard!
[ Breathes deeply ]
562
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,501
She sleeps
when she should eat.
563
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,669
She eats
when she should nap.
564
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,462
And if she doesn't nap,
then I don't sleep.
565
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,298
And I'm so desperate!
566
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,425
I can't believe
I'm suggesting this,
567
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,344
but... there is one thing
you could try.
568
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,013
♪
569
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,723
Chicken bone.
Who knew?
570
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,099
I learned it
from my mom.
571
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,351
[ Sighs ]
Of course you did.
572
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,728
I don't know
how she did it.
573
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:24,729
Did what?
574
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,355
Raise three kids.
575
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,316
I mean,
one's impossible.
576
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,109
I thought you had it
all figured out.
577
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:34,572
The truth is,
I'm completely lost.
578
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,408
Being a mother
is so hard.
579
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:40,244
Yeah, for all mothers,
I guess.
580
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,204
When your child is being
stubborn and difficult,
581
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,707
it is a pain
like no other.
582
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,083
♪
583
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,460
Dammit.
[ Chuckles ]
584
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,211
I'm starting
to see that now.
585
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,713
Why can't our daughters
just understand
586
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,048
that we're trying
to help them
587
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,009
and make their lives easier,
you know?
588
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,510
One day,
I think they will.
589
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,264
Sucks about
the show...
590
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,224
and that we're still stuck
doing this.
591
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,560
[ Sighs ] I don't
wanna talk about it.
592
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,562
How did an adult man
dressing in a meat costume
593
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,439
go so wrong?
594
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,941
[ Laughs ]
595
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,611
What's so funny?
596
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,863
Glascott's face when he saw
all that disturbing meat.
597
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,407
[ Both laughing ]
598
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,576
I put kielbasa
on my body.
599
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,286
[ Laughter continues ]
600
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,080
Man, Lucky really
went to town on you.
601
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,456
I know.
602
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,541
Yep, it was the kind of laugh
603
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,835
you could only share
with someone so close.
604
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,297
The kind that, to this day,
can still bring us to tears.
605
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,091
♪ Ooh, you make me live ♪
606
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,301
Hey, Ad?
Oh.
607
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,137
We got our whole lives
to live on our own.
608
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,723
Maybe sharing this room
isn't the worst thing ever.
609
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,892
Yeah. We've got it
pretty good.
610
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,478
♪ I really love you ♪
611
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,271
[ Clicks ]
Good night, pal.
612
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,606
♪ Oh, you're
my best friend ♪
613
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,024
Same to you.
614
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,485
Sometimes all it takes
to patch things up...
615
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,821
[ Both laughing ]
616
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,782
...is to lighten up.
617
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,576
But then again,
taking back our words
618
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,286
doesn't always come easily.
619
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,746
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
620
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,248
♪
621
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,624
What was that for?
622
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:12,336
Mom [sighs]
I'm so sorry for what I said
623
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,588
and for every time
that I pushed you away
624
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,590
or called you
out of touch.
625
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,134
♪
626
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,678
So all my parenting tricks
don't make you upset?
627
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,888
Oh, they do.
628
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,725
But they also make me
the luckiest daughter--
629
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,226
and mom-- ever.
630
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,270
♪ Oh, you're
my best friend ♪
631
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,355
[ Voice breaking ]
Moms need other moms.
632
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,523
They really do.
633
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,775
♪ Ooh, you make me live ♪
634
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,902
When you're so close
to the people you love,
635
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,447
it's hard to see
the bigger picture.
636
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,532
The one that only comes
into focus
637
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,117
when you spend
so much time together.
638
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,118
[ Door closes ]
639
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,619
Yeah.
640
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,371
♪ I'm happy at home ♪
641
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,623
And we're the luckiest
when we get to do it all...
642
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,333
♪ You're my best friend ♪
643
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,628
...over and over again.
644
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,088
♪
645
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,718
Get it while it's hot!
JTP: Whoa!
646
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,553
Big Tasty, a barbecue feast
just for us?
647
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:03,637
You know it!
648
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,638
These ribs fall
right off the bone.
649
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,307
Yeah, they do!
650
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,933
Mnh. Got something
stuck in my teeth.
651
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,894
[ Chuckles ]
652
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,228
Is that a clothing label?
653
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,271
I-- I got
something, too.
654
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,439
It's a button.
655
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,107
Barry, why is it
a button?
656
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,192
Oopsy-doopsy.
657
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,568
Is all this
from your meat suit?
658
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:18,652
Of course it is!
659
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,113
But you wore these meats
out in the sun,
660
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,281
not to mention
your filthy car!
661
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,074
Can I move in now?
Never!
662
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,076
Lucky had the right idea
going for the sausage.
663
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,725
Get it while it's hot!
JTP: Whoa!
664
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,560
Big Tasty, a barbecue feast
just for us?
665
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,645
You know it!
666
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,646
These ribs fall
right off the bone.
667
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,314
Yeah, they do!
668
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,941
Mnh. Got something
stuck in my teeth.
669
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,901
[ Chuckles ]
670
00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:00,236
Is that a clothing label?
671
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,362
I-- I got
something, too.
672
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,530
It's a button.
673
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,198
Barry, why is it
a button?
674
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,282
Oopsy-doopsy.
675
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,659
Is all this
from your meat suit?
676
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,743
Of course it is!
677
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,204
But you wore these meats
out in the sun,
678
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,372
not to mention
your filthy car!
679
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,165
Can I move in now?
Never!
680
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,125
Lucky had the right idea
going for the sausage.