1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,545 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s, I was a boy who put it all 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:04,671 on the line romantically. 3 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,173 But now that I was kind of an adult 4 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,799 in kind of an adult relationship, 5 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,718 I didn't need to do that stuff anymore. 6 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,011 Nice ketchup work. [ Chuckles ] 7 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,971 You really know your way around a bottle of red. 8 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,432 Aww, look who knows how to talk to a lady. 9 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,434 I used to be a tad uncomfy around the gals, 10 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,478 but now complimenting your condiment work 11 00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:20,604 is as easy as breathing. 12 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,231 Don't you carry an inhaler? 13 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,440 You know it. 14 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,692 You and ragweed take my breath away, girl. 15 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,945 [ Giggles ] 16 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,614 Yep, I was on cloud nine. 17 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,032 Every moment with Carmen felt like 18 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,742 a fantastical dance number. 19 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,078 ♪ Ohhh, yeah ♪ 20 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:40,207 ♪ Dance all night ♪ 21 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,167 ♪ Never gonna stop ♪ 22 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:46,004 ♪ We'll be groovin' till the break of dawn ♪ 23 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:52,719 ♪ Hey, dance all night ♪ 24 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:59,518 ♪ Doo-doo-da da-da-doo ♪ Johnny: Goldnerd! [ Snapping fingers ] 25 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,686 Goldnerd! What the hell, bro?! 26 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,354 Stop getting freaky with the mop. 27 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,648 Sorry, I was in a semi-fugue state 28 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:05,983 dreaming about my special lady. 29 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:06,858 Nancy Reagan? No. 30 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,318 Poetess Maya Angelou? 31 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,903 What? Leslie Nielsen? 32 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,363 It's Carmen, my girlfriend! 33 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,948 Yeah, I don't think so, man. 34 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,241 We're literally dating, 35 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,368 and you think white-haired actor Leslie Nielsen 36 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,328 is a more likely romantic partner for me? 37 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,997 Tennis legend Billie Jean King? 38 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,873 Yep, BJK. You got me. 39 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,543 It was useless-- I would always be a romantic at heart. 40 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,670 Which meant it was time to celebrate our relationship, 41 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,380 no matter how small the reason. 42 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,173 Oh, don't worry. 43 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:32,175 I won't peek at the special surprise 44 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,052 someone's making his mamaaaa! 45 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,012 [ Chuckles ] None of this is for you. 46 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,138 And why would it be? 47 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,723 Because it's Mother's Day. 48 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,849 No, it's not. 49 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,183 It's a random Tuesday in February. 50 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,268 Well, every day should be Mother's Day. 51 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,186 We only created the entire world. 52 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,272 You certainly created this awkward moment. 53 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,732 And these are for Carmen. Really? 54 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,358 You're still seeing that girl, huh? 55 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,152 For the millionth time, yes. 56 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,445 So what's it gonna be this time? 57 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,572 A standard "Say Anything" boombox 58 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,533 followed by a trellis climb for a PG-rated smooch? 59 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,660 You don't know all my moves! 60 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,037 But basically, yeah. 61 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,621 It's our "one month-iversary." 62 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,206 Month-iversary?! 63 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,833 Plus I rented a tux, and I'm putting the final touches 64 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,501 on a patented Adam Goldberg mixtape! 65 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:07,919 Why are you crying? 66 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:10,255 I just remember when you were so teeny and innocent 67 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,007 and didn't like strange local women. 68 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,842 I'm taking this upstairs. 69 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,555 But I love you! I've always loved you! 70 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,349 Okay, how do you turn this thing on from here? 71 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:24,269 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 72 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,481 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 73 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,108 - Captions by VITAC-- 74 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,568 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 75 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:35,489 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 76 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,991 It was February 22nd, 1980-something, 77 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,701 and Erica was preparing to introduce 78 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,620 the newest member of the Goldbergs 79 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,580 to the one person who hadn't met her-- 80 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,749 Erica's best friend, Lainey Lewis. 81 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,125 Okay, I need to get this right. 82 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,795 With the hat or without the hat? 83 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,838 I think you're putting too much emphasis on appearances, Erica. 84 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,174 It's just been a while since Lainey's come back from LA. 85 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,009 I want our baby to make a good impression. 86 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,177 Get the tiny sunglasses. 87 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,096 It's true, she's a fox. 88 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,639 Good luck, boys in 15 years. 89 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,057 25 years! 90 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,642 Or whenever. I'm a chill dad. 91 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,811 I'm just saying, Lainey has a rock 'n roll life, 92 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,938 and I'm a full-time mom. 93 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,439 Our lives couldn't be more different. 94 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,275 Please, she's probably wallowing in misery like you. 95 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,319 Like me? And why would she be wallowing? 96 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,821 Because her spirit has been crushed 97 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,989 since Barry went back to the girlfriend dealership 98 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,658 and upgraded his model. 99 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,034 [ Doorbell rings ] 100 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,121 [ Lainey and Erica squeal and laugh ] 101 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,622 It's so great to see you! 102 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,623 Oh, you, too! 103 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,667 What a fun, screechy reunion. 104 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,336 I was not met with that level of enthusiasm 105 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,879 when I scooped her at the airport 106 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,381 in the dead center of the work day. 107 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,591 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, Dad's here, too. 108 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,968 Now where's that little beam of sunshine? 109 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,886 Auntie Lainey, meet Muriel. 110 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,555 Oh, my God. [ Sighs ] 111 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,849 This is the cutest child who ever walked the earth. 112 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,350 Oh, she's actually not walking yet. 113 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,435 The doctor said it's totally normal, 114 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:47,936 no matter how many times I ask him. 115 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,271 Lainey Lewis. 116 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,690 And your father, Mr. Bill Lewis. 117 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,941 Hello to both of you. 118 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,901 Hi, Bar. Is that a giant chocolate kiss? 119 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,112 'Tis. Been working it all day. 120 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,989 Wanted to bloat up so not to look too attractive 121 00:03:58,989 --> 00:03:59,990 for my old flame. 122 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,199 Look at that, it worked. 123 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,701 It's also out of respect 124 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,077 to my former lover's father. 125 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,414 I'm no threat to your baby girl. 126 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,833 The brown ring around your lips tells the story, son, 127 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,751 but thanks for the words. 128 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,336 Maybe I'll just swing by later, Erica. 129 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,088 But we have so much to catch up on. 130 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,923 Bye, kiddo. Move out as soon as you can, 'kay? 131 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,384 I guess I'll just use the restroom at home. 132 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,427 Ciao! 133 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,761 Y'know, that reminds me... [ Door closes ] 134 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,639 I, too, should mosey on out of here in a casual fashion. 135 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,767 Take that the completely innocent way it is intended. 136 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,768 What you up to, Bar? 137 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,019 Conventional things. 138 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,854 Just going to meet Matt Bradley 139 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,774 so he can help me pick out some jean shorts, you know. 140 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,276 [ Door closes ] What a strangely exhausting three minutes. 141 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,861 Hanky-panky! What? 142 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,654 An illicit entanglement is brewing 143 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,114 between Barry and Lainey! 144 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,824 No way. I know Lainey, 145 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,702 and she would never make that mistake again. 146 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,787 For the third time. 147 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,788 I don't know, whenever Lainey's around, 148 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,872 Barry gets all weird. 149 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,165 He's Barry. 150 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,750 Weird is his natural state. 151 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,959 Plus, he's over Lainey. 152 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,711 I just don't see Barry ever fully moving on. 153 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,171 Where is all this coming from? 154 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,632 Okay, one, Barry is on record saying that jean shorts 155 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,383 are the uniform of "half-men." 156 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,135 Two, Barry would never go to Matt Bradley 157 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,720 for advice about anything, 158 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,223 and three, Matt Bradley is out of town! 159 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,558 Even if Barry was dumb enough to go back down that road, 160 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,685 there is no way that Lainey would. 161 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,938 If she was even thinking about it, she'd tell me. 162 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,606 I'm her best friend! Maybe. 163 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,650 But there are two words she hasn't shared with you-- 164 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,984 hanky-panky. Oh. 165 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,528 As Geoff worried that Barry and Lainey 166 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,488 were falling back into a romance, 167 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,949 my mom was worried about my romance with Carmen. 168 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,660 Adam and that Carmen are moving way too fast. 169 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,495 I thought we were discussing my recent health scare, 170 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,746 but let's pivot to you. 171 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,332 I mean, his little heart is just so sensitive. 172 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,001 What if she rejects him? It'll crush him. 173 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:39,089 He does seem like a person who's been shielded by someone 174 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,966 from experiencing most things 175 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,634 any adult would have by now. 176 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,718 [ Laughs ] 177 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,303 [ Gasps ] Ginzy! Hm? 178 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,681 That Carmen is here, and she's with another man! 179 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,807 [ Gasps ] Really? 180 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,058 Okay, here's what we're gonna do... 181 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,768 Assume the best and mind our own business? 182 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,937 You're gonna work your way over to their table. 183 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,564 Be invisible and totally forgettable-- 184 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,940 [gasps] just like that! 185 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,358 Yes! [ Breathes sharply ] 186 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,194 You're gonna spy on them and write down everything they say. 187 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,279 Beverly, part of the reason 188 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,947 that I asked you for coffee today 189 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,449 is I wanted to say that I no longer want to be roped 190 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,577 into Goldbergs hijinks and shenanigans. 191 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,870 Go-go-go-go-go-go-go! 192 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:13,164 ♪ 193 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,750 Oh! [ Laughs ] Excuse me. 194 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,419 I just accidentally bumped into you 195 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,879 and started this conversation. 196 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,088 I-I just gotta get to the men's room. 197 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,465 [ Laughs ] You're funny, 198 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,384 and I've disarmed you by giving you a compliment. 199 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,386 Now, is that your sister you're with? 200 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,971 What? Oh, uh, no. 201 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,306 Cousin? Landlord? 202 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,932 Some woman you found confused on the street, 203 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,017 and you're buying her coffee? What? 204 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,518 We're on a date, if you must know. 205 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,854 Oh, you mean like a platonic work date with no feelings? 206 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,355 Uh, a date date. 207 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,607 That two-timing hussy! 208 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,608 I'm so confused right now. 209 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,776 Well, nobody cares. Just... get... 210 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:45,155 As my mom raced off to stop me from my grand gesture... 211 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,032 I will protect my baby! 212 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,367 ...across town, Geoff was looking for evidence 213 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,285 of two-timing of his own. 214 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:53,246 Oh, weird. Look who it is! 215 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,789 Geoffrey Olivia Schwartz, 216 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,333 did you use putting our baby to sleep 217 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,792 as a way to get me to spy on Barry? 218 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,793 I know something's going on! 219 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,462 I can just feel it! 220 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,255 Look, he's stopping at that cheesesteak place. 221 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,548 You know Lainey loves cheesesteaks. 222 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,799 This is dumb. 223 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:05,925 I brought my birding binoculars. 224 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,218 And it gets dumber. Look! 225 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,595 He's getting two cheesesteaks! 226 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,055 We have to follow that cheese. 227 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,556 Should we have disguises, too? 228 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,557 Way ahead of you. 229 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,725 Let my mom's gardening hats 230 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,935 and my dad's cataract shades camouflage us! 231 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:19,898 ♪ 232 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,441 Our marriage is weird. Mm. 233 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,943 And so, they followed Barry all over town. 234 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,237 Until they ended up here. 235 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,864 He's turning towards that house. 236 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,199 Wait, that's Lainey's house! 237 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,867 ♪ 238 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:31,910 Oh! 239 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,120 ♪ 240 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,830 I can't believe it. 241 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,666 Barry and Lainey... 242 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,501 Oh, why did you make me know this?! 243 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,002 While my sister and Geoff were getting closer 244 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,921 to the truth about Barry, 245 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,131 I was about to tell Carmen how truly close to her I felt. 246 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,424 Stop! Mom! 247 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,759 What the hell are you doing? 248 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,927 Protecting you! 249 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,221 The grand gesture-- abort, abort! 250 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,972 This is way too far. 251 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,265 I know you don't like Carmen, but-- 252 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,935 Adam, I saw her on a date. 253 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,812 A date? 254 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,063 You must have misunderstood. 255 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,314 I'm telling you, it's true. 256 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,775 Look, I appreciate your concern, 257 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,027 but I'll just talk to Carmen and clear this up. 258 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,362 Go home. But, Schmoopie Poopie-- 259 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,446 Go! 260 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,034 Was that your mom? Yeah. 261 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,079 She just was freaking out because, um, 262 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,165 she thought she saw you on a date with some other guy. 263 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,042 Oh. [ Chuckles ] She saw us? 264 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,627 That's awkward. 265 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,879 So then, you were on a date? 266 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,297 Yeah, but, I mean, it's okay, 267 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,757 'cause you and I are casual, right? 268 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,927 [ Laughs ] Oh, definitely! Casual! 269 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,887 Wait, why do you have roses? 270 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,264 And what's the cassette? 271 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,641 These roses are... 272 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,767 for Carla! 273 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,060 She's had a hard time lately. 274 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,354 Awww. I can totally sell these. 275 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,022 And the mixtape is... 276 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,315 for Johnny! 277 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,401 Friendship mix! How much Rush is on here? 278 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,570 Somewhere between zero and none. 279 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,239 You don't know me at all! Friendship rejected! 280 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:55,493 You... weren't about to do some big romantic thing for me? 281 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,287 'Cause I don't want things to be weird for you, 282 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,705 and if they are, then maybe we should-- 283 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,331 Nope! Not weird. 284 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,542 Look, if you can't handle a casual relationship-- 285 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,335 Oh, I can handle casual. 286 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,505 If anyone can be casual, I can be casual. 287 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,215 ♪ 288 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,092 I can't be casual, Mama! 289 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,219 Don't worry, baby. Mama will protect you 290 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,305 from the nuanced adult relationship. 291 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,475 ♪ 292 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,229 Erica and Geoff had caught Barry doing... something, 293 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,314 and Erica was pretty worked up 294 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,565 to nail down what it was. 295 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,941 I can't believe it. 296 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,401 If Lainey is having an affair with Barry, 297 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,819 why wouldn't she tell me? 298 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,988 Isn't it more important that he's cheating on my sister? 299 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,281 Sure. She's not one of us, though. 300 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,075 She's the aunt to your child. 301 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,118 Yeah, through marriage, I guess. 302 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,162 [ Doorbell rings ] Oh, it's Lainey. 303 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:39,954 I need to get to the bottom of this. 304 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,206 Now hide! Hide? 305 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,373 Yes. This is the kind of thing 306 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,541 only best friends confide in each other! 307 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,375 Oh! Now go! 308 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:47,879 Heyyy! 309 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,590 Hey there [chuckles] best friend, 310 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,133 no matter what other things 311 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,593 have transpired in our lives. 312 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,095 How are things going, huh? 313 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,346 Oh, come on, let's get caught up. 314 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,764 Spill our darkest secrets. 315 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,682 I wish I had some dark secrets to spill. 316 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,267 I feel like I've been so boring lately. 317 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,519 Look, I'd like to think that you'll always be 318 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,270 the one person I can trust-- 319 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,314 who I can confess anything to. 320 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,857 Aww, of course you can, Erica. 321 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,360 I'm so glad to hear that. [ Chuckles ] 322 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,694 I've been thinking about cheating on Geoff. 323 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,196 You? What? 324 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,198 I think about being with another man constantly. 325 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,700 Where I'd meet the guy, what hotel we'd go to-- 326 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,410 the Bay Breeze Inn off 276. 327 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,412 It's close, but also out of the way. 328 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,498 Um, I'm not sure how to respond. 329 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,874 The appropriate response would be to admit 330 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,334 that you've had some similar feelings 331 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,878 and/or participated in any infidelities of your own? 332 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,338 Uh... Because I think about cheating 333 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,423 on Geoff all the time. [ Whispering ] What? 334 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,384 I imagine a strange man's hands in my hair, 335 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,594 on my body, whispering in my ear. 336 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,221 Do you judge me or do you kinda get it? 337 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,472 You guys seem so happy together. 338 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,683 No one can know the heart of another, right? 339 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:45,145 Which is why I don't know yours-- so use your words. 340 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,230 Any hanky-panky going on? Hanky-panky? 341 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,231 If I were cheating on Geoff, 342 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,024 you'd be the first person I told. 343 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,359 No detail would be spared. 344 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,819 So spill it. 345 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,362 I mean, actually-- Yes? 346 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,614 [ Sighs ] I was waiting for the right moment to tell you 347 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,492 Steve and I broke up recently, so there's no one to cheat on. 348 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,660 It's been really lonely. 349 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,245 Has it? Yes. 350 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,497 And I'm still upset, too. 351 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,167 But I'm really worried about you right now. 352 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,711 So let me just get us some tea and let's dig in. 353 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,130 Just know I care about you, okay? 354 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,132 Well, I care about you, too. 355 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,466 Almost as much as I want to cheat on Geoff! 356 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,467 [ Chuckles ] 357 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,719 ♪ 358 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,345 What in the actual [bleep]?! 359 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,556 You wanted the truth, right? Well, we got it! 360 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,183 The only truth I've found out is that my wife 361 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,684 would be great at having an affair! 362 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,187 C'mon! Lainey and Steve broke up. 363 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,105 She's been lonely. The pieces fit. 364 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,064 I think you were right. 365 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,274 Oh, poor Joanne. 366 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,275 I've gotta tell her. 367 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,027 No, she will hate you forever. 368 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,904 There's only one way to let her know-- 369 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,072 get her to stumble onto the crime herself. 370 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,199 Oh, that's incredibly harsh. 371 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,783 It's the only way. 372 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,203 Okay, just promise me you'll never go to that Bay Breeze Inn. 373 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,622 That filthy dump? [ Scoffs ] Never. What? 374 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,290 Or anywhere else, obviously. [ Scoffs ] 375 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:50,293 While Geoff and Erica had clarity about Barry and Lainey, 376 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,712 Carmen had left me very confused. 377 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,963 Casual? 378 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,506 I mean, I'm a guy 379 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,175 who goes from intense monogamous relationship 380 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,927 to intense monogamous relationship, 381 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,345 like a normal person! 382 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,138 Are you sure this woman is for you? 383 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,348 She doesn't seem to understand 384 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,725 how special my perfect little angel is. 385 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,852 Look, I have to grow up sometime, Mom, 386 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,395 and I really like Carmen. 387 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,606 So if she wants to be non-exclusive, 388 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,858 I guess I'm just gonna have to figure out how. 389 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,152 If I may remind you, you happen to be the son 390 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,404 of the greatest Yenta the world has ever known. 391 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,406 I don't think I've ever said this to you before, 392 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,616 but I like the way you're thinking. 393 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,535 If my handsome little man needs to be non-exclusive, 394 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:28,498 we're gonna show her how non-exclusive he can be. 395 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,666 It's matchmaking time! 396 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,418 ♪ 397 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,255 My mom pulled out all the stops. Beverly. [ Laughs ] 398 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,757 She used the phone, the Rolodex... 399 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,009 obvious choices, less obvious choices. 400 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,512 ♪ 401 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,974 She left no stone unturned to find me a perfect match. 402 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,268 So, what are we working with? 403 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,937 Lay it on me. Who's lining up for a dose of Vitamin A? 404 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,814 Lotta interest, um, 405 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:56,276 but I think this might not be dating season. 406 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,610 Dating season? 407 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,529 You know how many ladies like to go away on vacation 408 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:00,989 at the end of February. 409 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:04,617 Oh, my God. Nobody wanted to go out with me, did they? 410 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,952 You're a bit of a tough sell. 411 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,412 You put off going to college, 412 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,913 you're working part-time in a diner, 413 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,290 you're living at home, 414 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,125 and it does not sweeten the pot 415 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,918 that you're currently seeing someone else 416 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,962 in a non-exclusive sitch. 417 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,715 Now, the only one that might be a possibility is Essie, 418 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,341 but she said she'd have to think on it. 419 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,342 This is a nightmare! 420 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,552 It's tearing me apart 421 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,053 that the world can't see my boy 422 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,555 for the hot property he is, 423 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,390 even though, in this moment, 424 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,600 to all appearances, it seems like you're a loser. Thank you? 425 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,102 I'll just have to go to Carmen 426 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,730 and let her know we're ready to be exclusive. "We"? 427 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,939 Then point out all the amazing things 428 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,482 she'll be missing if she doesn't accept 429 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,067 a committed relationship from you. 430 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,778 No. I have to prove to her that I can be casual. 431 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,321 And how are you supposed to do that? 432 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,866 You're the master of the grand gesture. 433 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,285 I can't tell you how many I've seen from afar 434 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,370 and wished I was the girl in the window. 435 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,665 Yes! Your horrifying and possibly criminal revelation 436 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,083 has given me an idea! 437 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,418 You run away to the Dominican Republic 438 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,670 and start fresh? So far from that. 439 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,464 But what if I did something bold 440 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,132 to prove to her how chill I am? 441 00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:04,677 You mean like a classic Adam Goldberg grand gesture, 442 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,221 but... of casualness? 443 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,514 Exactly. 444 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,016 That is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard, 445 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,560 and I'm certain I'm not being blinded by a mother's love 446 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,104 and desperation for you to never feel rejection. 447 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,440 Go to her. I will! 448 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,650 But, like, not in a rush. 449 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,402 Also, I was sugarcoating it. 450 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,113 It was a hard no from Essie. 451 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,699 As I was off to show Carmen how chill I could be, 452 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,786 Geoff and Erica's investigation was heating up. 453 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,995 Jo Jo! Over here! Oh! 454 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,455 Ooh! What's going on? 455 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,083 Geoff said you were having a fashion emergency, Erica? 456 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,876 There's no fashion emergency, Joanne. 457 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,920 Sure, if you say it, then it's true. 458 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,922 Look, you're here because we have something upsetting 459 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,173 to show you. 460 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,257 We're sorry, but my brother's 461 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:44,759 having an affair with Lainey. 462 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,470 Puh-leeze. I'll believe that when I see it. 463 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,597 Barry's in there right now with Lainey. We saw him go in. 464 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,599 But he just told me he was going to the library to study. 465 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:53,142 That in itself should've been a big clue. 466 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,143 Hey, guys. 467 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,436 Gah! Lainey?! 468 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,647 Why are you talking behind the Metcalfs' hedge? 469 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:01,275 Wait, but if you're not in there, what's Barry doing? 470 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,610 Barry and Bill: Ca-caw! Ca-caw! 471 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,028 What the hell? 472 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,614 Ca-caw! Ca-caw! 473 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,615 Barry?! 474 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,699 Ca-- Huh? 475 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,119 Ah! This isn't what it looks like, baby! 476 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,162 I honestly have no idea what it looks like. 477 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,332 As things with Barry developed an unexpected wrinkle, 478 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,667 I was ready to iron things out 479 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,169 with Carmen-- casually, of course. 480 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,130 [ In distance ] ♪ Round and round, round and round ♪ 481 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,966 ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪ 482 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,009 All through the town ♪ 483 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,553 [ Breathes sharply ] 484 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,971 ♪ 485 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,140 [ Music continues ] Adam? 486 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,432 ♪ The wipers on the bus go-- ♪ 487 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,476 [ Clicks, music stops ] Heyyy! [ Chuckles ] 488 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,186 I was just wandering through your neighborhood, 489 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,813 and I'd like to make clear-- 490 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,858 walking, not running, and absolutely not in the rain. 491 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,317 What's with the step stool? 492 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,153 See, normally when I'm dating someone, 493 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,072 I'll scale a trellis to their bedroom window. 494 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,366 But as we are both being casual, 495 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,285 thought it seemed a little much. 496 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,787 So instead, I brought a step stool 497 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,956 to chat with you near your toilet. 498 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,457 Wanna explain the boombox? 499 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,377 Usually that'd be playing a Peter Gabriel ballad, 500 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,462 but since we're in a non-exclusive, 501 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,173 super-laid-back thing, 502 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,799 I'm playing "The Wheels on the Bus." 503 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:11,179 So you came to my window with a step stool and a boombox 504 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,055 to profess your [Chuckling] ability 505 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,308 to be in a casual relationship? 506 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,810 ♪ 507 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,103 Adam... 508 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,231 [ Sighs ] Yeah, it's not great. 509 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,774 [ Sighs ] 510 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:27,069 The truth is, I'm not built for a casual relationship. 511 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,031 I like you... 512 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,657 a lot. 513 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:35,036 And I don't want to play it cool or see other people. 514 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:38,581 I want to jump in, cast caution to the wind, 515 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,916 and see where we land. 516 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,500 ♪ 517 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,212 It's just who I am. [ Breathing quickly ] 518 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,255 Sorry I made it weird. 519 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,050 Unfortunately, that's also who I am. 520 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:54,805 ♪ 521 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,098 [ Breathes deeply ] 522 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,479 Adult Adam: So it turned out Barry wasn't having an affair with Lainey, 523 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,355 but he did have a secret relationship 524 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,648 with her dad, Bill, 525 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,441 which left us with even more questions. 526 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,110 It all started the day of the Eagles-Cowboys game. 527 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,612 We were both going to a bar 528 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,364 'cause we had no one to watch the game with. 529 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,950 So Bill suggested we go back to his house 530 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,576 so we can enjoy it together. 531 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:19,247 And to our surprise, we had a magical day together. 532 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,748 We both thought it was a one-time thing, 533 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,417 but, dammit, we could not get enough of each other. 534 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:24,710 It just felt too good. 535 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,170 So good. 536 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,172 After a while, we'd watch any random sport 537 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,132 as an excuse to spend time together-- 538 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,344 handball, badminton, water polo. 539 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,930 We even watched Olympic women's Ping-Pong. 540 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,598 It was like a drug. 541 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:40,226 We started to build up our own private jokes, 542 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,103 traditions, and superstitions-- 543 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,563 So that's what we just saw? 544 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,566 I know we're caught, but I'd do it all again 545 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,234 a million times over. 546 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,235 Me too. 547 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,361 Why'd you hide it? 548 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,405 Truthfully, we knew it wouldn't last. 549 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,073 I mean, we have nothing in common. 550 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,408 No. 551 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,119 Maybe you have more in common than you think. 552 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,620 You're both missing someone in your lives 553 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,664 you used to share sports with. 554 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,791 Dad. Mur-man. 555 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:07,086 And in some twisted way, this is how you're dealing with it. 556 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,171 Dad and I used to share the lows and extra lows 557 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,048 of Philadelphia sports together. 558 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,217 [ Sighs ] Mur and I could sit together for hours 559 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,427 and not say a thing, 560 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,762 unless my Cowboys were playing his Eagles. 561 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:20,850 Then he would insult my family, my honor, my body shape. 562 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,059 I loved it so much. 563 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,644 I guess it's over now. 564 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,021 Don't be stupid. 565 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,063 You can still hang out. 566 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,523 [ Scoffs ] Boys are so dumb. 567 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,899 You mean...? 568 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,319 Gentlemen sports-time is back on! 569 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,404 And no longer in the shadows! 570 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,033 Oh. 571 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,117 Together: Ca-caw! Ca-caw! 572 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,201 [ Both laugh ] 573 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,829 Maybe a little shadow wouldn't hurt. 574 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,665 Speaking of, you thought I was cheating with Barry? 575 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,000 I know it's ridiculous, 576 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,252 but I feel like our lives are so different now... 577 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,338 Maybe you wouldn't tell me. 578 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,173 Are you kidding? I would tell you anything. 579 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,134 You're my best friend. 580 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,386 ♪ 581 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,847 While Barry and Bill took their weird man crush 582 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,349 out of the shadows, 583 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,518 my future with Carmen was nothing but darkness. 584 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,771 Hey, Schmoo, I've got some Rice Krispie Treats 585 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,230 if you're interested. 586 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,900 Thanks, but I'm not really in the mood for snackies right now. 587 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,486 I know this didn't go the way you wanted it to, sweetie, 588 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,987 but it's always more mature 589 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,490 to just show people who you really are. 590 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,369 Well, the real me is gonna be sad for a while. 591 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,412 I know you don't care what I think, 592 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,039 but I love the real you. 593 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,959 [ Sighs ] 594 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,295 [ In distance ] ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪ 595 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,714 What's that? ♪ Round and round, round and round ♪ 596 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,675 ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round-- ♪ 597 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,509 [ Button clicks, music stops ] Carmen? 598 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,010 Hey. 599 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,804 I was just in the neighborhood, 600 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,723 decided to swing by, all casual-like. 601 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,016 I'll come down. 602 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,646 [ Sighs ] 603 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,440 You know, I have never had a guy show up to my window 604 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,734 with a step stool and a boombox like that. 605 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,820 Really? You should have a million guys 606 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:56,779 outside your window. 607 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,156 Not a million. 608 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,866 The appropriate amount. 609 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,660 Why don't you talk now? 610 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,328 And the reason I wanted to draw the line at casual 611 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,414 is 'cause I just got out of a relationship, 612 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,542 and I'm [breathes deeply] not ready to be hurt again. 613 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,918 I get it. 614 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,837 The thing is... 615 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,965 I know you are not the kind of guy who's going to hurt me. 616 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,426 So... 617 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,761 we can be exclusive and see where it goes. 618 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,638 I think I can make that work. 619 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,390 ♪ 620 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,183 [ Laughs ] You think you could still show me 621 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,893 what an Adam Goldberg grand gesture is like? 622 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,645 I would love to. 623 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,647 [ "Can't Hardly Wait" plays ] [ Chuckles ] 624 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,858 Adult Adam: Relationships can be complicated. 625 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,943 Just when you think you're getting close to someone, 626 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,194 they can pull away. 627 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,196 ♪ Lights that flash in the evening ♪ 628 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,199 But as long as you show people who you really are, 629 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,702 you'll find even casual acquaintances 630 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,328 can become like family. 631 00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,329 Whoo! Touchdown! 632 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,707 ♪ I can't hardly wait ♪ 633 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,129 So, your incredibly specific tale 634 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,630 of infidelity got me thinking. 635 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,466 You're not the only one who can spin a convincing yarn 636 00:20:58,466 --> 00:20:59,842 about a torrid dalliance. 637 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,052 Alright. Get whatever this is out of your system. 638 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:05,055 I'm just saying, I, too, know an out-of-the-way motel 639 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:07,224 where the touching of non-wives may occur. 640 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,226 Oh, no. I feel super threatened. 641 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,728 That's right. I would do some touching. 642 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,438 Could you possibly be more specific? 643 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,731 Happily. 644 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:16,317 Know that said touching would be the touching 645 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,693 of an unfamiliar female person... 646 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,944 Uh-huh. 647 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,489 And perhaps, if her hands are clean, 648 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,783 underneath this rugby shirt. 649 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,201 You're incredibly bad at this. 650 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,494 Please never leave me. 651 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,141 So, your incredibly specific tale 652 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,643 of infidelity got me thinking. 653 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,478 You're not the only one who can spin a convincing yarn 654 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:53,938 about a torrid dalliance. 655 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,065 Alright. Get whatever this is out of your system. 656 00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:59,068 I'm just saying, I, too, know an out-of-the-way motel 657 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,237 where the touching of non-wives may occur. 658 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,322 Oh, no. I feel super threatened. 659 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,824 That's right. I would do some touching. 660 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,534 Could you possibly be more specific? 661 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,827 Happily. 662 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,162 Know that said touching would be the touching 663 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,789 of an unfamiliar female person... 664 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,040 Uh-huh. 665 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,543 And perhaps, if her hands are clean, 666 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,837 underneath this rugby shirt. 667 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,255 You're incredibly bad at this. 668 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,548 Please never leave me.