1 00:00:00,117 --> 00:00:02,937 Back in the '80s, Thanksgiving meant football, 2 00:00:03,016 --> 00:00:05,414 the Macy's Day Parade, and my dad's favorite movie... 3 00:00:05,469 --> 00:00:07,164 "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." 4 00:00:07,211 --> 00:00:08,544 Those aren't pillows! 5 00:00:08,579 --> 00:00:09,658 Ooh! 6 00:00:09,689 --> 00:00:12,134 Ooh-hoo! He thought his buns were his pillows, 7 00:00:12,159 --> 00:00:13,575 but they were his buns! 8 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,961 I liked when he was going the wrong way on the highway. 9 00:00:19,046 --> 00:00:21,257 I've done that. 10 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,125 It's like John Hughes made this just for me. 11 00:00:23,203 --> 00:00:25,082 Well, he didn't, Gene Shalit. 12 00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:26,383 So, why don't you pipe down 13 00:00:26,418 --> 00:00:28,219 and go help your mom with the giblets? 14 00:00:28,253 --> 00:00:30,488 I will. But only 'cause I don't know what giblets are, 15 00:00:30,555 --> 00:00:31,789 and I like to learn. 16 00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,324 My mom was determined to butter up 17 00:00:33,391 --> 00:00:35,092 more than just the turkey this year. 18 00:00:35,127 --> 00:00:37,428 Tell me. How's your dad? Is the movie working? 19 00:00:37,462 --> 00:00:39,751 Does he seem joyful and full of Thanksgiving cheer? 20 00:00:39,797 --> 00:00:40,998 He did chuckle twice, 21 00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:42,900 but those also might have been small burps. 22 00:00:42,934 --> 00:00:45,302 I really need your dad to be in a great mood. 23 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,504 Pop-Pop is coming. 24 00:00:46,571 --> 00:00:49,026 - Pop-Pop? - Shh! Your dad can't know! 25 00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:50,956 Yeah, the cursing old guy at the end of the dinner table 26 00:00:51,011 --> 00:00:52,292 will be our little secret. 27 00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:54,145 Family takes care of family, 28 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,914 but, yes, he's terrible in every way that counts in society. 29 00:00:56,948 --> 00:00:59,517 Yep, my dad's father could be a tad unpleasant. 30 00:00:59,584 --> 00:01:01,619 Whatever this is, I don't want it or need it. 31 00:01:01,653 --> 00:01:03,821 It's me, your grandson. 32 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,023 What the [Bleep] is this? I don't drink lady soda. 33 00:01:06,091 --> 00:01:08,092 - How you doing, Ben? - You think you're better than me? 34 00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:10,628 And that is why you never trust a Polynesian. 35 00:01:10,662 --> 00:01:13,631 Plus, he makes Dad absolutely miserable. 36 00:01:13,665 --> 00:01:15,132 It's gonna be another Angst-giving. 37 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:17,034 - Angst-giving? - It's clever wordplay. 38 00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:18,984 I'm super proud of it, even though it's gonna be 39 00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,539 - a living nightmare for everyone. - Not this year. 40 00:01:21,606 --> 00:01:23,507 I'm gonna give your dad the best day ever 41 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,643 so that when he finally does see Pop-Pop, 42 00:01:25,677 --> 00:01:27,344 he won't even mind. 43 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,680 Sure, 'cause people rarely hold onto the memory 44 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,549 of the person who hurt them most as a child. 45 00:01:31,616 --> 00:01:33,884 First, I'll let Steve Martin and John Candy 46 00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:35,886 work their thin guy/fat guy chemistry, 47 00:01:35,954 --> 00:01:38,822 then I'll invite his dingbat friends over. 48 00:01:38,857 --> 00:01:40,191 Don't Bill and Vic have to be 49 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,026 with their own miserable families on Thanksgiving? 50 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,662 Lucky for us, Bill is totally alone. 51 00:01:44,696 --> 00:01:46,664 - He has no one. - That is lucky. 52 00:01:46,698 --> 00:01:48,032 And Vic is Canadian. 53 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,000 And those moose kissers celebrate Thanksgiving 54 00:01:50,035 --> 00:01:52,836 in October for hockey or maple syrup reasons. 55 00:01:52,871 --> 00:01:54,972 Yeah, I guess Vic and Bill do calm Dad down, 56 00:01:55,006 --> 00:01:56,974 like that blanket you throw on Lucky when it thunders. 57 00:01:57,008 --> 00:01:58,976 And then comes my masterstroke... 58 00:01:59,010 --> 00:02:02,913 Your dad is gonna watch his beloved Eagles beat the Cowboys. 59 00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:04,515 How are you gonna guarantee the Eagles win? 60 00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:07,184 Easy. I told him the game starts at 2:00. 61 00:02:07,219 --> 00:02:08,719 They already played, 62 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,590 and those bumbling green doofuses somehow won. 63 00:02:12,657 --> 00:02:14,225 So, you recorded it and you're gonna play it back for him. 64 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,756 I admit, it's brilliant. 65 00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:18,334 Except for one small snag. 66 00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:20,770 Ben? 67 00:02:20,795 --> 00:02:23,100 I know you told me to come over at 4:00, but I have no heat, 68 00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:25,669 and you people like to burn money, so here I am. 69 00:02:25,704 --> 00:02:28,439 You brought a little something? Thank you. 70 00:02:28,506 --> 00:02:30,241 - It's empty. - It's for leftovers. 71 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,909 I'm on a fixed income. Oh, where's your can? 72 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,744 I took a hit off the garden hose 73 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,746 and my bladder is the size of a cashew. 74 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,012 - There's one upstairs. - Ooh-la-la. 75 00:02:38,051 --> 00:02:39,083 Second floor. 76 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,585 Oh, look at this one with the fancy head glasses. 77 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,587 They're for seeing. Also, hello, Granddad. 78 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,789 Dad! The hell are you doing here? 79 00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,725 Came through the back because I got lost 80 00:02:47,759 --> 00:02:50,961 wandering through this landed estate which is Murray Acres. 81 00:02:51,029 --> 00:02:52,463 It's just a simple suburban home. 82 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,964 Whatever helps you sleep at night, sellout. 83 00:02:54,032 --> 00:02:55,032 Eh. Wait, but come here. 84 00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:56,967 Ooh. Look at this. 85 00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,802 I thought you had to be dead to have skin that gray, 86 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:00,738 but turns out you just look like crap. 87 00:03:00,772 --> 00:03:03,027 Anyway, so, kid, here. Hang this up for me, will ya? 88 00:03:03,097 --> 00:03:04,308 Oh! 89 00:03:04,376 --> 00:03:05,928 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 90 00:03:05,989 --> 00:03:09,116 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 91 00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,608 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 92 00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:13,384 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 93 00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:17,254 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 94 00:03:17,289 --> 00:03:19,728 It was Thanksgiving Day, 1980-something, 95 00:03:19,753 --> 00:03:22,345 and Barry and Erica were ready to be picked up for the short ride home. 96 00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:23,860 I'm dying. 97 00:03:23,931 --> 00:03:25,629 I haven't eaten in 17 hours. 98 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,598 I'm gonna regret asking. Why? 99 00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:29,433 Just like the Pilgrims, I'm starving myself 100 00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:30,734 to maximize stomach space 101 00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:32,269 for the turkey bounty that lies ahead. 102 00:03:32,304 --> 00:03:33,465 Crack a history book. 103 00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:35,439 If you were in Pilgrim times, you'd die immediately. 104 00:03:35,473 --> 00:03:37,274 Probably of some shoe-buckle mishap. 105 00:03:37,309 --> 00:03:40,411 Or I'd win over the Indians by introducing them 106 00:03:40,445 --> 00:03:43,147 to the ultimate weapon... Nunchucks. 107 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,788 Boom. Big Tasty's face on every totem pole. 108 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,817 That honestly might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 109 00:03:48,682 --> 00:03:50,782 What's got four wheels and is your uncle? 110 00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:51,922 This guy. 111 00:03:51,923 --> 00:03:53,457 Well, I spoke too soon. 112 00:03:53,491 --> 00:03:54,692 Wait, why are you here? 113 00:03:54,759 --> 00:03:56,126 I thought Geoff was supposed to pick us up. 114 00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:57,461 New plan. You guys were on the way, 115 00:03:57,495 --> 00:03:59,263 so I told your parents I'd pick you up. 116 00:03:59,297 --> 00:04:00,964 Now, get in the 'Vette and let's ride. 117 00:04:00,999 --> 00:04:03,300 But this isn't a Corvette. It's a Chev-ette. 118 00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,936 Yeah. It's a Chevy 'Vette. 119 00:04:05,970 --> 00:04:07,538 We're talking the same language here, nephew. 120 00:04:07,605 --> 00:04:08,639 - Now, get in. - Whoa, Uncle Marvin, 121 00:04:08,673 --> 00:04:09,707 you've lost a lot of weight. 122 00:04:09,774 --> 00:04:10,974 Thanks for noticing. 123 00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,343 You ever heard of an Egyptian tapeworm? 124 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,844 - God, no. - Well, consider yourself lucky. 125 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,780 Well, you look good, and I dig that outfit. 126 00:04:16,815 --> 00:04:18,816 Kind of look like Sly Stallone in that movie Cobra. 127 00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:21,452 You mean hero cop Marion "Cobra" Cobretti? 128 00:04:21,486 --> 00:04:22,710 'Cause I have no idea what you're talking about. 129 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,456 All right. Everybody, strap in. 130 00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:28,692 Come on. 131 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:29,860 Come on. 132 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,628 Stupid piece of American steel! 133 00:04:31,663 --> 00:04:32,830 He's already pulling a Marvin. 134 00:04:32,864 --> 00:04:34,221 I'm not pulling a Marvin. 135 00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,999 - But of course he was. - Ooh! 136 00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:37,468 See, Uncle Marvin always found a way 137 00:04:37,502 --> 00:04:39,136 to screw up the simplest tasks. 138 00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,904 Oh, I hate Thanksgiving! 139 00:04:40,972 --> 00:04:42,306 - I hate it so much! - I'm a healer! 140 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,540 Let me heal you! 141 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:47,845 I! Am! Not! Irresponsible! 142 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:50,647 Oh. Nice. 143 00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:51,815 Hey, guys. 144 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:52,918 I'm supposed to scoop you. 145 00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:54,351 That's who I was supposed to call. 146 00:04:54,386 --> 00:04:55,753 Man, that's on me. 147 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,020 Sorry, smiley haircut. 148 00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:58,589 Not a worry. You just pulled a Marvin. 149 00:04:58,656 --> 00:04:59,668 I didn't pull anything. 150 00:04:59,746 --> 00:05:01,024 Maybe we should just ride with Geoff. 151 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,260 No, I can handle a simple drive home, 152 00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:05,163 just like I handled my hungry, hungry tapeworm. 153 00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:08,407 Oh, that explains your dramatic and concerning face and body change. 154 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,507 Your face is concerning. 155 00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:11,819 We'll just see you and your parents back at the house. 156 00:05:11,874 --> 00:05:13,351 Your parents are coming? 157 00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:15,105 You're all so screwed. 158 00:05:15,173 --> 00:05:17,107 I'm zonked. 159 00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:20,010 You guys must be bushed from however school works. 160 00:05:20,044 --> 00:05:22,513 Why don't you just sit back and relax and close your eyes, 161 00:05:22,547 --> 00:05:24,548 and let the purr of my 'Vette sing you to sleep. 162 00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:25,749 Sounds good. 163 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,102 I love to wake up in a new location. 164 00:05:27,164 --> 00:05:29,353 Unfortunately, things went south from there. 165 00:05:29,387 --> 00:05:30,516 And also west. 166 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,391 Man... I feel so refreshed, 167 00:05:34,426 --> 00:05:35,926 like I slept forever. 168 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,595 Oh, please. I slept ten times better than you. 169 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,230 Uncle Marvin, who's a better sleeper? 170 00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:42,699 Wait, where are we? This doesn't look familiar. 171 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,201 Pittsburgh? 172 00:05:44,235 --> 00:05:45,903 - What the hell, man? - It's all good. 173 00:05:45,937 --> 00:05:49,106 I just took a teeny, tiny stop to get a farm fresh turkey. 174 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,275 I musta gotten turned around on 76. 175 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,477 For hundreds of miles? 176 00:05:53,545 --> 00:05:56,547 I got too much pride to stop and ask for directions. 177 00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:59,116 That big Pittsburgh sign back there was my first clue. 178 00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:01,443 Dude, this isn't even a turkey. It's a ham! 179 00:06:02,382 --> 00:06:04,069 That's a turkey, all right. 180 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,957 It's a beautiful, boneless, spiral-cut, honey-glazed turkey. 181 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:08,140 I don't care what it is! 182 00:06:08,204 --> 00:06:10,103 Tear me off a pig wing so I can stuff it in my mouth! 183 00:06:10,128 --> 00:06:11,303 Hey! Hey! 184 00:06:11,349 --> 00:06:13,464 Whoa! Not a chance, mister. 185 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,066 That bad pink bird is for dinner. 186 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,634 From now on, "pulling a Marvin" 187 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,636 is gonna be about farm fresh turkey 188 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,438 and getting children home safely. 189 00:06:21,473 --> 00:06:23,941 We're in Western Pennsylvania with a ham. 190 00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:25,142 You're oh-for-two. 191 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,644 Don't sweat, Boba Fett. 192 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,480 Sign says we're right by the airport. 193 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,076 We'll just ditch the 'Vette, we'll get a flight, 194 00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:32,412 everyone will be home safe and sound. 195 00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:34,651 As my brother and sister prepared to fly home, 196 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,154 Pop-Pop was already flying off the handle. 197 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,256 Football. Come on, let's watch the parade. 198 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:41,625 That leggy Mary Hart's doing the play-by-play. 199 00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:43,694 Never. It's my Eagles. 200 00:06:43,761 --> 00:06:45,329 Come on. Sometimes there's a gust of wind 201 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,164 and that schmuck holding Snoopy's ropes, 202 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,866 he goes airborne, and he lands on some kids. 203 00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:50,367 This is my house. 204 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:52,436 If it was your house, there'd be no father, 205 00:06:52,470 --> 00:06:53,637 and we'd have to raise ourselves. 206 00:06:53,671 --> 00:06:55,038 That's still a thing with you? Huh? 207 00:06:55,106 --> 00:06:56,744 Move on. I have. 208 00:06:56,769 --> 00:06:59,971 It's a real treat when the Goldberg men get together. 209 00:07:01,012 --> 00:07:02,813 It's not okay in there. 210 00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:06,149 You could cut that tension with the knife in Ben's boot. 211 00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:07,784 Which he showed to me. 212 00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:10,287 He said he needs it for when he rides on the bus. 213 00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:13,457 I know, but the perfect Thanksgiving plan is still intact, 214 00:07:13,491 --> 00:07:15,459 and it all starts with a slice of delicious... 215 00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:17,327 Oh, spiced ass! 216 00:07:17,362 --> 00:07:19,463 - Oh! - Murray won't even blink. 217 00:07:19,497 --> 00:07:21,465 It's okay. The day can still be salvaged. 218 00:07:21,499 --> 00:07:23,066 Bill and Vic will be here any minute. 219 00:07:23,134 --> 00:07:25,168 - Bill and Vic aren't coming. - The hell you say to me? 220 00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:27,170 Ooh! Did you just chuck a yam at me? 221 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:28,906 Oh, butch it up. It was cooked. 222 00:07:28,973 --> 00:07:31,975 It's not my fault Bill's appendix exploded three days ago. 223 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:34,244 They just found him. His side is super infected. 224 00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:36,313 Oh, that selfish bastard. 225 00:07:36,347 --> 00:07:37,414 He sends his love. 226 00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:38,882 And as for Vic, 227 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,651 he's serving turkey dinners at a homeless shelter. 228 00:07:40,685 --> 00:07:42,198 Of all the days to do that. 229 00:07:42,237 --> 00:07:46,189 Yeah, I'm not sure your perfect Thanksgiving plan is working out. 230 00:07:46,224 --> 00:07:47,724 It's okay. We still have the Eagles. 231 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,926 Beverly! 232 00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:50,761 You recorded my Eagles game! 233 00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:52,095 Oh, I can explain. 234 00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:54,064 - Uh, Adam did it. - Me? 235 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,266 He's our common enemy that we can all rally against. 236 00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:57,401 Just go with it. It's fun. 237 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,236 Forget this. I'm going to the basement 238 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,705 to play with my real friends, Mario and Luigi. 239 00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:03,507 Uch. They sound like they have accents. 240 00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:04,875 Anyway, sorry about your stupid game. 241 00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:06,276 I was just trying to get the parade, 242 00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:08,737 and I pressed, uh, one of your fancy VCR buttons. 243 00:08:08,794 --> 00:08:11,354 But why would you turn on the parade during Murray's game? 244 00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:12,449 What? Are you another parade hater? 245 00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:14,117 You ruined my game. 246 00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:16,314 - But the Eagles won! - They won? 247 00:08:16,385 --> 00:08:17,556 Back to the parade. 248 00:08:17,635 --> 00:08:19,033 Oh! Did it again. 249 00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:22,292 They won in overtime on a Hail Mary pass! 250 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,695 This is literally the worst day of my life! 251 00:08:24,729 --> 00:08:26,029 Hey, hey, hey. 252 00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:27,197 Murray, you see the game? 253 00:08:27,231 --> 00:08:28,865 Holy crap! What a doozy! 254 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,934 I hate football, and even I thought it was thrilling, 255 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,469 like watching a movie about football. 256 00:08:32,537 --> 00:08:33,941 Such a doozy! 257 00:08:34,019 --> 00:08:36,043 Oh, I could really feel the city around us 258 00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:38,222 come alive in those last few moments. 259 00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:40,077 A doozy! 260 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:42,479 We get it. You saw the game, okay? 261 00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:44,881 And for some reason, you keep saying "doozy." 262 00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:47,384 Erica said this night would make us question everything. 263 00:08:47,418 --> 00:08:49,553 By the way, where is my little Turkey Day buffer? 264 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,422 Excuse me... Panam. 265 00:08:52,457 --> 00:08:53,657 Such an exotic name. 266 00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:54,758 Are you from the Orient? 267 00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:55,993 Pan Am is the airline. 268 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,661 I'm Elaine from here. 269 00:08:57,729 --> 00:08:59,296 Please don't correct me, Elaine from here. 270 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,664 It's an ugly color on you. 271 00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:03,133 Now, when can I expect meal service, huh? 272 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,002 I'm sorry, it's a 40-minute flight, 273 00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:06,873 so we won't even be coming by with the beverage cart. 274 00:09:06,898 --> 00:09:07,920 What about peanuts? 275 00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,740 This gentleman right here took the last bag. 276 00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:11,256 If you don't want me taking them, 277 00:09:11,311 --> 00:09:13,343 don't leave them in the back of the bottom drawer in the galley. 278 00:09:13,411 --> 00:09:15,445 Damn it, we should be home right now. 279 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,482 Geoff isn't equipped to handle our family's holiday bullcrap. 280 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,283 Listen, I got your back. 281 00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:22,786 Why don't we use this handy-dandy air phone 282 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:24,921 and we'll inform them that we're running a little bit behind. 283 00:09:24,956 --> 00:09:26,490 Great idea. I'm starving. 284 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,624 Let's order a pizza first. 285 00:09:27,659 --> 00:09:29,993 These phones cost like $11 a minute. 286 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,862 Money's no object. Give me your credit card. 287 00:09:31,929 --> 00:09:33,075 Me? Use yours. 288 00:09:33,153 --> 00:09:36,489 Mine were all cut up in nine unrelated misunderstandings. 289 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:40,337 Dad did give me a credit card to use during an emergency. 290 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,340 What? Why would he give you one and not me? 291 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,875 At the airport, we could've bought food 292 00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:46,977 and important Pittsburgh trinkets and baubles. 293 00:09:47,018 --> 00:09:48,519 Shh. It's ringing. 294 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,561 Hi, Mom, it's Erica. 295 00:09:49,593 --> 00:09:50,850 We're gonna be late because Marvin pulled a Marvin, 296 00:09:50,897 --> 00:09:52,883 and we're in the skies over Pittsburgh. Okay, see you soon, bye. 297 00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:54,666 You see? No problem. 298 00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:57,154 Uncle Marvelous will have you guys home lickety-split. 299 00:09:57,188 --> 00:09:58,622 Bad news, folks. 300 00:09:58,656 --> 00:10:00,724 Due to some unforeseen weather in Philadelphia, 301 00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:03,360 we are being diverted to Nashville. 302 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,813 That announcement could have been for any flight. 303 00:10:04,846 --> 00:10:07,005 While Marvin and my siblings were going off-course, 304 00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:09,399 my mom's plans were heading the same way. 305 00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:12,969 So, Mr. Goldberg Senior, are you retired? 306 00:10:13,004 --> 00:10:14,871 You know, 14 years ago, these sons of bitches 307 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,007 gave me a Timex watch and shoved me out the door. 308 00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,308 They got the best years of my life. 309 00:10:18,342 --> 00:10:19,576 So, screw them. 310 00:10:19,628 --> 00:10:20,628 What are you up to these days? 311 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:21,871 Well, most recently, uh, 312 00:10:21,933 --> 00:10:24,881 I'm being grilled by this grinning schnook who thinks he's Donahue. 313 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,216 - I'm sorry. - For what? 314 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,484 - Engaging you. - When are we eating, Murray? 315 00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:28,585 I don't like these people. 316 00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,087 These people can hear you. 317 00:10:30,154 --> 00:10:31,260 They know how they are. 318 00:10:31,306 --> 00:10:33,590 Okay, well, I just got off the phone with Erica. 319 00:10:33,658 --> 00:10:36,193 Everything's fine, but they're a... a bit delayed 320 00:10:36,227 --> 00:10:37,661 somewhere over Pittsburgh. 321 00:10:37,695 --> 00:10:40,063 Oh, no, the Steel City! They have so many rivers! 322 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,265 Let me guess. That other moron son of mine 323 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,935 - pulled a Marvin? - He did, in fact, pull his namesake. 324 00:10:45,002 --> 00:10:46,903 But, uh, let me pull a Beverly 325 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:49,119 - and drop another veggie platter. - Oh, screw this. 326 00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:51,241 There's only so much jicama a man can eat. 327 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,040 Dad, don't go. 328 00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:54,177 Hmm? 329 00:10:54,212 --> 00:10:56,179 - Now you can. - Wait, Ben, Ben. 330 00:10:56,214 --> 00:10:58,248 You can go watch the parade in the basement 331 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,416 until dinner's ready. 332 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,550 Is that okay with everyone? 333 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:01,715 - I guess. - It's not in here. 334 00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:02,965 He's got his coat. 335 00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,921 Great, just go downstairs and make yourself comfortable. 336 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,289 Don't mind if I do. 337 00:11:06,357 --> 00:11:07,448 Oh, my. 338 00:11:07,473 --> 00:11:08,558 That's not okay! 339 00:11:08,593 --> 00:11:10,356 The human body changes over time! 340 00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:12,763 Yes, Pop-Pop ruined a lot of Thanksgivings, 341 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,531 but nothing compared to what came next. 342 00:11:14,565 --> 00:11:16,266 Ooh! Son of a... 343 00:11:18,249 --> 00:11:19,217 Pop-Pop! 344 00:11:19,265 --> 00:11:21,805 My crotchety grandfather took a tumble down the stairs! 345 00:11:21,873 --> 00:11:23,960 I knew I had to act fast, so I did this. 346 00:11:25,288 --> 00:11:26,866 Now, that's a doozy. 347 00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,456 Uncle Marvin's 15-minute drive 348 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,174 had turned into a 12-hour layover in Nashville. 349 00:11:33,239 --> 00:11:36,038 Man! Music City's got it all. 350 00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:37,606 I mean, I know it's Thanksgiving 351 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,307 and we're stuck in an airport hotel, 352 00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:41,721 but who wants to go honky-tonkin'? 353 00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:42,844 I want you to shut up. 354 00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:44,279 - I'm calling home. - Oh, God. 355 00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:45,780 They're probably eating already. 356 00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:47,649 Tell Mom to pour gravy into the phone 357 00:11:47,683 --> 00:11:49,024 so I can taste it with my ears. 358 00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:51,126 Good thing I nabbed a little something 359 00:11:51,153 --> 00:11:54,122 from the maid's cart in the hallway to tide you over. 360 00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:55,457 Oh! 361 00:11:55,491 --> 00:11:57,826 Oh, sweet, minty sustenance! 362 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,494 Where the hell are you? 363 00:11:59,529 --> 00:12:00,829 A motel in Nashville. 364 00:12:00,863 --> 00:12:02,030 Ho... 365 00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:03,698 That's a "ho-tel." 366 00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,967 Hotel, with an "H" there, Bevy. 367 00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:08,169 And Uncle Marvin has got this, okay? 368 00:12:08,204 --> 00:12:10,647 What you've got are my children in Tennessee. 369 00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:13,550 Yeah, well, you're the only "Ten I see." 370 00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:14,676 Is that helping? 371 00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:16,545 No. Get them home, now. 372 00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:17,860 Okay, Uncle Marvin's on the case. 373 00:12:17,922 --> 00:12:19,297 Don't worry, you're gonna see your kids tomorrow 374 00:12:19,352 --> 00:12:21,024 or sometime next week. Ta! 375 00:12:21,049 --> 00:12:22,031 Okay, here's the headline... 376 00:12:22,079 --> 00:12:24,396 That "Ten I see" line doesn't work over the phone. 377 00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:26,755 Despite my Mom's hopes for a perfect Thanksgiving, 378 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,957 it had all come crashing down. 379 00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:30,926 Specifically, my grandfather's old body. 380 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,194 Let me look at you. I'm a doctor. 381 00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,329 You? A doctor? Eh, eh, no way. 382 00:12:34,364 --> 00:12:36,656 He's a very well-regarded ophthalmologist. 383 00:12:36,716 --> 00:12:38,984 Great. If I need a pair of glasses for my knee, I'll let him know. 384 00:12:39,018 --> 00:12:40,152 This man is a pill! 385 00:12:40,186 --> 00:12:41,586 Which is something you can't prescribe 386 00:12:41,654 --> 00:12:43,555 from your LensCrafters in the mall. 387 00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:45,657 Dad! He's just trying to be helpful. 388 00:12:45,691 --> 00:12:47,426 Him? What about me? 389 00:12:47,493 --> 00:12:50,061 Pop-Pop cartwheeling down the stairs messed me up bad. 390 00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:51,196 Give me one of those. 391 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,432 Oh, no. Did he crash into you 392 00:12:53,499 --> 00:12:55,500 with his stumbly-crumbly body? 393 00:12:55,535 --> 00:12:56,701 I might be sharing too much, 394 00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:59,171 but I briefly lost consciousness. 395 00:12:59,205 --> 00:13:01,540 Did one of his beige orthopedic sneakers clock you in the noggin? 396 00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:03,875 No, he fainted, like a lady. 397 00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,577 Nice work with this one, Mur. 398 00:13:05,611 --> 00:13:07,712 Oh, so now you're giving me parenting advice? 399 00:13:07,747 --> 00:13:09,881 Hey, remember Thanksgiving in our house? 400 00:13:09,916 --> 00:13:11,950 I don't, because we never had one! 401 00:13:12,018 --> 00:13:13,785 Yeah, well, you had something else. 402 00:13:13,853 --> 00:13:16,288 It was called dinner, and it was almost every night. 403 00:13:16,355 --> 00:13:18,190 Great news, everyone. Thanksgiving dinner is... 404 00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:19,558 Please say served. 405 00:13:19,592 --> 00:13:20,926 ...tomorrow. 406 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,361 How is a Friday Thanksgiving great news? 407 00:13:23,396 --> 00:13:26,131 Someone pulled a Marvin, and the kids are stuck in Nashville. 408 00:13:26,199 --> 00:13:27,566 Music City? Oh, no! 409 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,434 So much hot chicken and angry fiddlin'! 410 00:13:29,469 --> 00:13:31,603 But you guys are welcome to stay here and enjoy each other's... 411 00:13:31,637 --> 00:13:33,806 - Lou, we forgot our coats. - We have more at home. 412 00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:35,874 - Keep it moving. - Thanks, Mrs. G. 413 00:13:35,908 --> 00:13:37,909 I-I'm thankful for those delicious smells 414 00:13:37,944 --> 00:13:40,412 and the vague sense that my girlfriend is alive somewhere out there. 415 00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:41,480 Well, I'm out of here. 416 00:13:41,547 --> 00:13:43,915 I would like to say it was fun, 417 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:47,586 but it was literally a pain in my ass, teeth, and bones. 418 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,920 Ben, you're going nowhere. 419 00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:50,822 You're injured, and we have plenty of room. 420 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:52,324 Are the rest of the Kennedys 421 00:13:52,391 --> 00:13:55,427 okay with a guest in their compound? Mm? 422 00:13:55,461 --> 00:13:57,395 As Pop-Pop was ready to call it a night, 423 00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,959 Uncle Marvin was taking the new day by storm. 424 00:14:00,045 --> 00:14:02,067 Wakey-wakey. 425 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,603 Guess which cool uncle solved all your problems. 426 00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,738 Thank God. You got us on another flight? 427 00:14:06,772 --> 00:14:08,306 Better. I scored us a ride 428 00:14:08,341 --> 00:14:09,741 with a stranger I met at the ice machine. 429 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,138 - What? - Crazy story... 430 00:14:11,177 --> 00:14:13,177 I was filling up the bathtub for my road turkey... 431 00:14:13,232 --> 00:14:15,013 - Ham. - ...and then, on the tenth trip, 432 00:14:15,081 --> 00:14:17,516 I met this guy who was so displeased 433 00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:19,017 with the fact that I was taking all the ice, 434 00:14:19,085 --> 00:14:21,820 so I blamed it on the folks in room 702. 435 00:14:21,854 --> 00:14:22,921 What's their story? 436 00:14:22,955 --> 00:14:24,422 Anyway, now we're best friends, 437 00:14:24,457 --> 00:14:26,358 and I scored us a ride to Philly. 438 00:14:26,425 --> 00:14:28,159 This seems like the start of a horror movie. 439 00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:30,495 Or a great friendship. 440 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,801 I like the sound of this mysterious ice fella. 441 00:14:32,863 --> 00:14:34,366 I'm glad you dig it because we leave in 20. 442 00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:37,652 Trust me, the rest of the way is gonna be sweet and easy. 443 00:14:40,098 --> 00:14:42,107 Well, I've never been robbed before. 444 00:14:42,141 --> 00:14:43,775 I'm sorry I screamed so much. 445 00:14:43,809 --> 00:14:44,843 I can't believe he even took 446 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,022 the Cobra matchstick from my lips. 447 00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:49,090 Now I just look like a fool. 448 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:50,215 Yeah, that's what did it. 449 00:14:50,249 --> 00:14:51,950 Hey, look on the bright side... 450 00:14:51,984 --> 00:14:54,085 He didn't want our turkey, okay? 451 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,789 He only wanted our money and our watches and our IDs. 452 00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:59,945 A warm ham is not gonna replace my go-kart license! 453 00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:02,110 We were five freaking minutes from home, 454 00:15:02,178 --> 00:15:04,446 and now we're on some deserted Southern road 455 00:15:04,513 --> 00:15:05,947 with only a ham to our name. 456 00:15:06,015 --> 00:15:07,549 This is the finest turkey in all the land! 457 00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:08,850 It's a ham! 458 00:15:08,884 --> 00:15:11,038 And the only turkey around here is you. 459 00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:15,890 Listen, I made mistakes, okay? 460 00:15:15,925 --> 00:15:17,959 But you're still on my team, right, Bar? 461 00:15:18,027 --> 00:15:20,695 I used to think you pulling a Marvin was hilarious, 462 00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:23,756 but, honestly, now it's kind of sad. 463 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,420 We're gonna find our own way home. 464 00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:32,040 Damn it. 465 00:15:32,074 --> 00:15:33,196 I think this is a ham. 466 00:15:33,243 --> 00:15:35,884 While Erica and Barry quit my Uncle Marvin cold turkey, 467 00:15:35,954 --> 00:15:39,047 my mom was excited to have a Thanksgiving Day redo. 468 00:15:39,081 --> 00:15:41,783 Morning, Ben. Oh, I'm so glad to see you up and feeling better, 469 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:43,051 and I promise, 470 00:15:43,085 --> 00:15:44,419 we are gonna have a great... 471 00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:45,920 The [Bleep] are you eating? 472 00:15:45,955 --> 00:15:47,122 Gobble gobble. 473 00:15:47,156 --> 00:15:48,156 It's cold, but it's tasty. 474 00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:49,557 Did you carve my bird? 475 00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:50,659 No, I just yanked the leg off. 476 00:15:50,726 --> 00:15:52,794 It fought me, but I won. 477 00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:55,397 Damn it, Ben, I worked my ass off preparing this. 478 00:15:55,431 --> 00:15:57,232 I'm enjoying it. What more do you want? 479 00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:59,000 To eat it together as a family. 480 00:15:59,068 --> 00:16:00,335 There's plenty more. 481 00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:02,671 Besides, eh, the big guy hasn't even been at it. 482 00:16:02,738 --> 00:16:04,639 The big guy? You mean your son? Your child? 483 00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,574 Like he needs anything more from me, huh? 484 00:16:06,609 --> 00:16:08,576 What? He's got the big house, 485 00:16:08,611 --> 00:16:11,579 got the tables full of food, the fancy doodads. 486 00:16:11,614 --> 00:16:13,181 Not to mention you, Blondie, 487 00:16:13,249 --> 00:16:14,949 and those annoying rugrats of yours. 488 00:16:14,984 --> 00:16:16,351 Mm-hmm. Okay, you know what? 489 00:16:16,419 --> 00:16:17,952 I think it's time you left. 490 00:16:17,987 --> 00:16:19,954 What? What are you talking about? 491 00:16:19,989 --> 00:16:22,290 I have tried to be on your side, 492 00:16:22,324 --> 00:16:23,958 but you know what? Murray was right. 493 00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:25,311 You are just awful. 494 00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,404 Whatever happened to all that "family takes care of family" baloney? 495 00:16:27,498 --> 00:16:29,531 Yeah, I don't think you really want to be part of this family 496 00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:31,633 'cause family doesn't treat people like that. 497 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,201 Please don't make me go. 498 00:16:33,269 --> 00:16:34,369 Did you say something? 499 00:16:34,437 --> 00:16:35,837 I want to... stay. 500 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,939 Ben, just say whatever awful thing it is you're gonna say. 501 00:16:37,973 --> 00:16:39,140 Well, what if... 502 00:16:40,785 --> 00:16:41,884 I want to be part of the family? 503 00:16:43,145 --> 00:16:45,158 I, uh, want to get along with my son, 504 00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:48,049 but I don't know how. 505 00:16:50,338 --> 00:16:53,193 If that's really what you want, I can help you. 506 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:56,537 Oh, I knew I could get my perfect Thanksgiving. 507 00:16:57,326 --> 00:16:58,670 Well, I wouldn't go that far. 508 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,857 I mean, it's Friday, and I ate all the corn. 509 00:17:02,916 --> 00:17:06,147 After being "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."-ed by Uncle Marvin, 510 00:17:06,202 --> 00:17:07,974 Barry and Erica found themselves 511 00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,361 further from home than ever. 512 00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:12,416 Look. There's a bus leaving for Philly in ten minutes. 513 00:17:12,474 --> 00:17:16,277 Perfect. If only that guy hadn't stolen our wallets and your dignity. 514 00:17:16,312 --> 00:17:18,646 Those were the tears of a warrior preparing to strike. 515 00:17:18,714 --> 00:17:20,815 - We're never getting home. - Oh, yes, you are. 516 00:17:20,883 --> 00:17:23,208 Marvin, please don't make things any worse... 517 00:17:26,422 --> 00:17:28,389 I know that I blew it before, 518 00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:31,459 and the time before that, and like a million times before that, 519 00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:32,627 but all that's gonna change now. 520 00:17:32,661 --> 00:17:33,895 Did you steal another Chevette? 521 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:35,797 'Vette. And, no. 522 00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:38,566 But I do have a great idea to get you guys home. 523 00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:41,302 Because what's even worse than making you miss Thanksgiving 524 00:17:41,337 --> 00:17:43,137 is knowing that I'm the dumbass responsible. 525 00:17:43,172 --> 00:17:44,272 What are you saying? 526 00:17:44,306 --> 00:17:45,506 Just trust me one last time, 527 00:17:45,574 --> 00:17:47,308 and I promise that "pulling a Marvin," 528 00:17:47,343 --> 00:17:48,926 it's gonna mean something good. 529 00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:51,179 Okay. 530 00:17:51,247 --> 00:17:52,426 Let's see what you got. 531 00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:54,880 With that, Barry and Erica had no choice 532 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,606 but to trust our uncle, 533 00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:58,453 and that's when he pulled his most epic Marvin yet. 534 00:17:58,487 --> 00:18:00,622 - Tickets, please. - No time! 535 00:18:00,656 --> 00:18:03,658 Me and my compadres here work for the medical FBI! 536 00:18:03,692 --> 00:18:07,295 And we are mandated to get this very real human heart to Philly, STAT. 537 00:18:07,329 --> 00:18:10,632 Thanksgiving and Uncle Marvin's reputation hung in the balance. 538 00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:12,600 We just needed one little "yes" to make it home. 539 00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:13,935 Whatever. 540 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,037 Eh, close enough. 541 00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,472 I can't believe that worked. 542 00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:18,840 You actually did it, Uncle Marvin. 543 00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:21,276 Yeah. I kinda did. 544 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,845 As Barry and Erica were finally headed home, 545 00:18:23,879 --> 00:18:27,315 my dad and Pop-Pop were having a hard time finding the right words... 546 00:18:27,349 --> 00:18:28,850 Or any words. 547 00:18:28,884 --> 00:18:30,785 Okay, so, let me get the ball rolling. 548 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,520 Murray, maybe you could say something like, 549 00:18:32,554 --> 00:18:34,522 "Dad, I'm upset about..." 550 00:18:34,556 --> 00:18:35,990 Meh. 551 00:18:36,025 --> 00:18:37,492 Maybe Ben can start. 552 00:18:37,526 --> 00:18:39,861 Ben, maybe you could say to Murray, uh, 553 00:18:39,895 --> 00:18:41,525 "Murray, what you need to understand..." 554 00:18:42,681 --> 00:18:43,965 All right, this is not gonna work 555 00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:45,525 unless everybody uses words. 556 00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:46,525 Fine! 557 00:18:46,556 --> 00:18:50,204 You were a crap dad then, and you're a crap dad now. 558 00:18:50,239 --> 00:18:51,839 - How's that? - Really bad. 559 00:18:51,874 --> 00:18:54,242 Not constructive or helpful in any way. 560 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,077 He's right. I wasn't a great dad... 561 00:18:56,145 --> 00:18:58,379 - 'Cause he was a crappy kid. - Exactly. 562 00:18:58,414 --> 00:19:00,315 We were kids, you jackass! 563 00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:01,683 Okay, this was a mistake. 564 00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:04,052 Let's just go back to angry silence. 565 00:19:04,086 --> 00:19:05,320 After your mother left, 566 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,888 I was stuck with two dumb boys 567 00:19:06,922 --> 00:19:08,489 and didn't know how to be a parent, bonehead. 568 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,558 How is that my fault, you jerk? 569 00:19:10,592 --> 00:19:12,360 It isn't. I was just scared and lonely 570 00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:14,862 and overwhelmed... 571 00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:17,198 And I got angry and took it out on the wrong people, dumbass. 572 00:19:17,232 --> 00:19:19,000 Well, I didn't know that, moron. 573 00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,668 I know you're yelling and it all sounds hateful, 574 00:19:20,703 --> 00:19:22,203 but this is really good. 575 00:19:22,237 --> 00:19:25,440 I had to raise myself and my brother 576 00:19:25,507 --> 00:19:27,675 because you wouldn't, you piece of crap. 577 00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:29,277 And that is my greatest regret, you fathead idiot. 578 00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:31,679 That is the nicest thing 579 00:19:31,714 --> 00:19:35,071 that you have ever said to me, you old sack of bones! 580 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,438 It's working. 581 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,519 It sounds so terrible, but it's beautiful. 582 00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:41,461 That's why I crap on everything you have, because I'm jealous. 583 00:19:41,532 --> 00:19:42,523 I mean, look at your life. 584 00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,591 Look at this big, dumb house 585 00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:45,028 and your beautiful moron family. 586 00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,260 It is nice! 587 00:19:46,295 --> 00:19:47,560 And I'm proud of myself. 588 00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:48,864 You should be, you ass. 589 00:19:48,927 --> 00:19:50,398 I'm glad I could share it with you, 590 00:19:50,432 --> 00:19:51,933 - you son of a bitch. - Me, too! 591 00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:53,301 I'd like to make up for lost time, putz. 592 00:19:53,369 --> 00:19:56,270 I'd very much like that, you broken old bastard! 593 00:19:56,305 --> 00:19:59,339 This is what I'm talking about! 594 00:19:59,706 --> 00:20:02,410 It's finally Thanks-[Bleep]-giving! 595 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,978 Yep, thanks to my mom, 596 00:20:04,046 --> 00:20:06,737 Pop-Pop and my dad finally broke through, 597 00:20:07,216 --> 00:20:09,617 and Barry and Erica decided that "pulling a Marvin" 598 00:20:09,651 --> 00:20:11,719 wasn't a bad thing after all. 599 00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:13,950 It meant showing up when it mattered most. 600 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:17,225 And even though it was Friday and there wasn't any corn, 601 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:20,294 Thanksgiving finally came together. 602 00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:21,462 To all of us. 603 00:20:21,497 --> 00:20:22,797 Salud. 604 00:20:22,831 --> 00:20:24,265 You did it, Mom. 605 00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:25,773 You pulled off the perfect Thanksgiving. 606 00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:28,069 That's the awesome thing about family. 607 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:30,238 Just when you think hope is lost, 608 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:34,250 people who care surprise you in ways you never expected. 609 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,310 We still talk about that legendary Thanksgiving 610 00:20:36,345 --> 00:20:39,447 to this very day, 'cause in the end, 611 00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:41,416 no matter how crazy the journey home is, 612 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,174 the best part is being together. 613 00:20:48,729 --> 00:20:51,614 _ 614 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:52,660 Thanksgiving. 615 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,495 How did you like this Thanksgiving? 616 00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:55,703 Pretty good. How about you? 617 00:20:55,764 --> 00:20:56,831 Hi. 618 00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:00,752 I can't believe I've never seen the movie Cobra. 619 00:21:00,815 --> 00:21:02,252 Ah, you're gonna love it, kid. 620 00:21:02,307 --> 00:21:05,661 Besides Sly, it's got Danish bombshell Brigitte Nielsen. 621 00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:08,155 Red Sonja herself. 622 00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:09,590 I'll get us the tickets. 623 00:21:09,624 --> 00:21:11,260 No need. This one's on Uncle Marvin. 624 00:21:11,315 --> 00:21:12,816 Please tell me your wallet's in there. 625 00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:14,918 Wallets are for people who play by the rules. 626 00:21:14,985 --> 00:21:16,319 Code blue! 627 00:21:16,353 --> 00:21:19,436 We got an emergency liver transplant in... theater four. 628 00:21:19,491 --> 00:21:21,046 I'm gonna need a bucket of ice 629 00:21:21,078 --> 00:21:22,671 and a large popcorn, STAT! 630 00:21:22,702 --> 00:21:24,624 - Yeah, that'll be nine dollars. - Here's ten. 631 00:21:24,702 --> 00:21:26,702 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com