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00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,404
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
I loved a good mystery,
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,773
whether it was UFOs
or who shot J.R.,
3
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,609
the Bermuda Triangle,
or what was in New Coke.
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,179
So it was no mystery
that I loved the movie Clue.
5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,981
I was so obsessed, I even took
my own mom to go see it.
6
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,083
I loved it.
7
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,317
Was it the mystery?
8
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,519
The crime most foul?
The snooty butler?
9
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,354
It was the swanky party.
Wha?
10
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,023
All those people
dressed to the nines
11
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,393
and eating fancy foods
and discussing nonsense.
12
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,195
That is my dream.
13
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,630
But I think the nonsense
they were discussing
was a murder of a colleague.
14
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,931
How fun would that be,
15
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:33,367
solving the brutal stabbing
of a good friend?
16
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,469
I guess you could
throw your own
murder-mystery party.
17
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,571
Yes! And it'll be
the social event of the year
18
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,540
and every year
after that until I die
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00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,276
and my friends gather
to solve that crime.
20
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,477
I'll script
the whole thing!
21
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:44,812
It'll be a night
full of danger,
22
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,247
dialogue, and distrust!
23
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,317
Can you guys keep it down?
I'm watching Dukes of Hazzard.
24
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,552
Dad, we're planning
a murder-mystery party.
It's gonna be fun.
25
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,187
Fun? N-No thank you.
26
00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,255
Look at me.
We're doing this.
27
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,424
Look at me.
Over my dead body.
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00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,192
Yes! He can be
the dead body.
29
00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,693
Sounds like
too much work.
30
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,061
This is the perfect
amount of work for you.
31
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,230
You just have to exist.
32
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,465
'Cause movement of any kind
is a deal breaker.
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00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:05,833
I'll murder you quick.
I promise.
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00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,636
Fine.
Yay! Murray's kinda in.
35
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,704
A Goldbergs
murder-mystery party.
36
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,373
How have we
not done this?
37
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,308
Yay!
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** I'm twisted up inside
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00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,180
** But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
40
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,617
** I don't know the future
41
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,920
** But the past keeps getting
clearer every day **
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ADULT ADAM:
It was January 13th,
1980-something,
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00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:32,726
and Erica was about to get
a major reality check.
44
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,129
Ms. Goldberg.
(SIGHS)
Any idea why
45
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,564
I've called you
into the dean's office?
46
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,732
You want to put me
on your famous list?
47
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,067
Is there, like, a cash prize,
48
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,068
or is it just something
49
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,436
worthless like honor?
50
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,438
Weirdly, the Dean's List
is not generated by the dean
51
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,539
but a provost...
52
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,640
Can we just get to it?
53
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,941
I have a puppetry
class in ten.
54
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,310
Well, that's why
we're here.
55
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,145
It seems you haven't
declared a major yet.
56
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,280
But I'm only a sophomore.
57
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,681
Can't I just keep
sampling classes
58
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,316
until something
strikes my fancy?
59
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,617
That depends.
Are you a member
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00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,751
of the well-heeled
patrician class
61
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:58,886
where money is no object?
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00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,488
My dad's had the same
three pairs of pants
63
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,390
since I've known him,
so not so much.
64
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,791
Well, I think
you should pick now.
65
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,693
Your major affects
your internships,
66
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,861
which turn into jobs,
which turn into a good life.
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00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,096
(CHUCKLES) Or not.
68
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,298
Some people
are just unhappy.
69
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,299
Are you
one of those people?
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00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,466
My depression is seasonal.
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00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,268
Okay, go.
(CHUCKLES)
72
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:15,369
Pick a major!
73
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,870
Hey, oceanography.
74
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:17,971
Bing, bang, boom.
75
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,106
My life path is settled!
76
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,241
But you hate the ocean.
77
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,309
You said it's God's toilet.
78
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:22,443
Fair.
79
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,744
Computer science.
80
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,514
Hello, future. It's me, Erica.
Let's do this.
81
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,915
You're really gonna
program computers?
82
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,049
Is that what that means?
83
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,319
Damn it!
Why is this so hard?
84
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,720
I mean, who actually knows
85
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,555
what they want to do
with their life at this age?
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00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,156
This handsome devil
right here.
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00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,225
Barry, I don't wanna hear it.
88
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,559
So you are aware
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00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:39,660
that I'm a bio major
90
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,195
with a pre-med
concentration...
91
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,263
Oh, you're gonna
be a doctor?
92
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,597
I got worried because
93
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,732
you hadn't said it
in six seconds.
94
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,667
How dare you?
I have never mentioned
95
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,469
my career
in the life-saving arts.
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00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,003
I shall be a doctor.
97
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,138
Doctor.
Doctor.
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00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,240
Brain doctor.
99
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,442
Doctor.
Doctor.
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00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,643
Doctor Tasty's
ready to save lives.
101
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,645
No one cares.
Dr. Milgrom does.
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00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:58,979
He gave me an internship
this summer.
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00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,581
Well, have fun
mopping up bodily fluids
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00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,149
while Geoff and I
hit the beach.
105
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,551
Uh, actually,
I'm interning, too.
106
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,685
What? But you're a freshman!
107
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:05,986
You seem upset.
I'll just cancel it.
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00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,988
Point is,
"Undeclared-ica,"
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00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,658
you either know what you want
to do with your life, me,
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00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,361
or you float around
like a turd in a toilet, you.
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I'm not a turd.
(CHUCKLES)
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Said the turd.
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00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,031
Don't listen to him, babe.
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00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,600
You're not a turd.
Turds can't talk.
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00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,134
When you defend me,
it's worse.
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00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,436
It was a tough area.
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ADULT ADAM: As Erica
was spinning out,
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00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,439
our murder-mystery party
was revving up.
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Places, everyone!
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00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,409
The suspects
are arriving soon.
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00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,810
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
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00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,379
Is there anything better
than opening night?
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00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,513
Yes, the end of the night,
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00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,781
when we close the door.
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00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,616
Dad, where's
the rest of your costume?
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00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,784
I came up with some new
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00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,018
backstory for my character.
128
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,152
He doesn't care.
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00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:40,621
But I do.
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00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,856
Put some cloth between
my eyes and that.
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I don't take notes.
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00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,060
Murray, your murder kicks off
the entire night.
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00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:48,362
Put these on now.
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What I do
for you people.
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(DOORBELL RINGS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
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Hi. We're here
for the murder.
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Ha! That's not something
people say.
138
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Good evening.
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00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,472
Bitterfrost the Butler
at your service, sir.
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00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,874
And so cute
in your little-boy tuxedo,
141
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,411
just like Fred Savage
at the Emmys.
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00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,012
I know not
of what you speak, ma'am.
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00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,747
I was born
to a scullery maid.
144
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,982
Ooh! He is not
breaking character.
145
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So fun!
And possibly annoying.
146
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Good evening, everyone.
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00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,757
I'm Madame Topaz,
an elegant Parisian
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00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,560
with impeccable class
and dignity.
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00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,495
Murray, put your
(BLEEP) pants on!
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00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,063
(DOORBELL RINGS)
We're here.
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00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,399
I brought
mushroom caps.
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00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,034
I'm Lady Alabaster.
153
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:30,304
And I'm Kitchen Helper
Number One. No name given.
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Well, remember, Essie,
it's better for the help
to be seen and not heard.
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00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,207
You invited me.
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00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,476
Oh.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
157
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,479
Hello, new friends.
I'm John Glascott.
158
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,980
I hate to come
empty-handed,
159
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,916
so please enjoy
these homemade crab cakes.
160
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Fun!
161
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The secret is
to only use claw.
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(CHUCKLES)
163
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,522
You invited
my guidance counselor?
164
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,057
I ran into him
at the market.
165
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,725
He saw all the alcohol
in my basket
166
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,527
and asked if
we were having a party.
167
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,795
So? Tell him
you're an alcoholic!
168
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,697
He'd believe it
with kids like us!
169
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,065
Sorry to interrupt,
Boy Butler,
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00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,600
but I'm not familiar with
murder-mystery parties.
171
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,868
What the hell
is all this?
172
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,269
We would like
all our guests
173
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,137
to please refer
to their dossiers.
174
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,940
"Captain Eggnog.
175
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:10,110
"A war profiteer
with a monocle and pipe."
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00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,745
I-I didn't have
any of that stuff.
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00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,081
I'm Mr. Pistachio,
"a career diplomat
178
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,283
"who should wear
a green blazer
if you have it."
179
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,285
(CHUCKLES)
Well, lucky for you,
this is one of nine.
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00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,554
I'm Miss Cabernet,
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00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,290
"a bombshell babe
in a yowza dress."
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00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,492
(CHUCKLES)
How flattering.
183
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,926
And accurate.
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00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,327
Wait. Adam,
did you write that?
185
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,462
Assigned randomly.
186
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,697
I'm Linda
the housekeeper.
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00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,765
And that's my name.
188
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,501
And I am "foreign"?
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00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,436
That's it?
To the dining room!
190
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,838
ADULT ADAM: While our
murder-mystery party
was getting under way,
191
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,107
Erica felt underwater
picking a major.
192
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,476
I want to thank you
for this lovely spread
193
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,512
of loose jelly beans
and sink water.
194
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,947
Hey, you're
my number-one grandpa.
195
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,717
And I need your help
choosing a college major.
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00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,785
Honey, I get it.
It's a big decision.
197
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,621
Maybe art history?
198
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,323
Damn it!
Why was that so easy
for stupid Barry?
199
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,259
He gets to be a doctor
who makes a crap-ton of money
200
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,696
and drives a convertible
with vanity plates
that say "Dr. Big Tasty."
201
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,298
You shouldn't compare
yourself to Barry.
202
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,167
You two are very different!
203
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,770
Yeah, he's gonna live
in an apartment over the park
204
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,139
while I'm stuck
in an equally
luxurious place
205
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,808
because my husband's a doctor,
but it's not the same.
206
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,478
Look, hon, you can do
anything you want
207
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,879
if you put your mind to it.
208
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,782
Maybe art history?
209
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,351
You're right.
I could totally
be a doctor, too.
210
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,953
But until this moment,
211
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,355
you never once expressed
an interest in medicine.
212
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,558
Oh, thank you, Pops.
213
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:33,994
It might be time to stop
emotionally investing
in my grandchildren.
214
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,396
ADULT ADAM: With that,
my sister had made up
her mind.
215
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,332
She was gonna be a doctor.
Which was news to Barry.
216
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,601
Goldberg?
Here.
217
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,636
Also here.
Erica?
218
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,171
Surprise, I'm gonna
be a doctor, too.
219
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,338
What?
No, you're not.
220
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,740
There's only one
Dr. Goldberg
221
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,208
in this class
and on the planet.
222
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,677
Oh, you really
don't have a grasp
223
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,378
of who makes up
the medical community.
224
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:52,513
But you should be happy.
225
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,581
We're going on
this journey together!
226
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,082
You're not a doctor!
227
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,050
At best, you're one of those
pharmaceutical reps
228
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,852
who pushes allergy meds
in a pencil skirt!
229
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,221
Whatever. This isn't
about you anyway.
230
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,956
It's about me
helping gross, sick people
231
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,558
and having
a dope-ass beeper.
232
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,126
But what kind of doctor
would you even be?
233
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,661
Obviously not the kind
234
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,130
that deals
with your downstairs
or backside business.
235
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,999
And nothing
with the mouth or ears.
236
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,067
And, of course, the middle
is off the table.
237
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,603
That's the entire body.
238
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,770
I didn't rule out shins.
239
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,906
I'll be a "shin-ologist."
Look at me go.
240
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,542
Welcome to human anatomy.
Look around.
241
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,210
Half of you will fail,
242
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,445
a quarter will go on
to med school,
243
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,948
and one will kill a man
through gross malpractice.
244
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,216
She's talking about you.
245
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,585
Hey, malpractice
makes "malperfect."
246
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,654
ADULT ADAM: It was game on
between Erica and Barry.
247
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,524
Meanwhile, our murder-mystery
party was taking off.
248
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,225
Oh, oh, oh.
That's crab, Billy.
249
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,793
You're highly allergic.
250
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,395
Blazes. I love that
sweet sea meat,
251
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,698
but I love breathing more.
Good catch, babe.
252
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:48,035
One clam almost
ruined our whole trip
to Myrtle Beach.
253
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,803
That was a nasty rash.
254
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,605
Oh, I've been there.
(CHUCKLES)
255
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,174
Myrtle Beach,
not the rash business.
256
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,876
I love poppin' off my top.
Oh.
257
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,177
Salty air on my flesh
258
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,146
while I proudly
strut down the boardwalk.
259
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,548
(CHUCKLES)
260
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,782
Again, I'm John.
261
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,483
Ooh, try my
mushroom caps, Bill.
262
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,885
Try 'em. No seafood.
263
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,754
And if you're allergic
to flavor, you're still okay.
264
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,922
Ladies and gentlemen,
265
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,992
are you aware
of the bond you share tonight?
266
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,761
We're all open
to new friendships?
267
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,029
Uh-uh. You are all
about to embark
268
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:21,969
on a two-hour grand mystery
full of scripted twists
and turns, ending in...
269
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,104
Murder!
(ALL GASPING, EXCLAIMING)
270
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,239
Murder!
Your weapons are served.
271
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,475
Speaking of, did, uh,
Bill kill me yet?
272
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,277
Murray!
I'm sorry.
273
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,912
Has Dr. Prune killed me?
274
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,681
No, you just
blew the ending!
275
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,282
Well, maybe
nobody heard me.
276
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,150
I've heard every sound that's
come out of your body tonight.
277
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,719
It's okay.
We still don't know
278
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,421
where Dr. Prune killed him
or with what.
279
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,490
There ya go. We'll just
forget the basement
and pick a new spot.
280
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,525
Stop talking!
Yeah, don't even need
to use the ice skate.
281
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,127
Oh, my God!
282
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,362
So it was Dr. Prune
in the basement
with the ice skate.
283
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,198
Well, that was a fun evening.
Can I drop anyone off?
284
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,532
Sure.
285
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,967
Damn it to hell, Murray!
286
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,836
All you had to do
was lay there and play dead,
287
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,537
but instead,
you ruined the night!
288
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,772
All right, I-I'm sorry.
289
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,507
Wait. I can fix it!
He can fix it.
290
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,109
ADULT ADAM: Yep.
All I had to do
291
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,111
was rewrite
my entire mystery
from scratch.
292
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,813
Just got to boot this up.
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
293
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,815
Takes a few seconds.
Or minutes.
294
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,818
Yes! Okay, just need
to pop in the old diskette.
295
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,285
Yeah, this wasn't happening
anytime soon.
296
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,155
Oop. This one's full.
Let me find a fresh one!
297
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,857
(ALL GASP, SCREAM)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
298
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,058
(GROANS)
No!
299
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,993
There's crab cake
in this mushroom cap!
300
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,295
Stand back!
I'm an ophthalmologist!
301
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,998
Anybody else? Preferably not
a guy who sells Ray-Bans.
302
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,533
(GROANS)
303
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,035
Oh, it passed.
304
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,570
Now it's just mild discomfort,
but what a ride.
305
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,939
You know what this means?
306
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,007
Someone in this house
is a murderer.
307
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:34,975
But I'm still alive.
308
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:36,877
Attempted murderer.
309
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,078
It's just
a scratchy throat.
310
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,347
Well, somebody's
guilty of something.
311
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,548
The mystery's back on!
312
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,083
(THUNDER CRASHES)
313
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,453
Great! 'Cause this thing
is still warming up.
314
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,523
ADULT ADAM: Bill Lewis
was crabbed!
315
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,359
My mom's big
murder-mystery party
316
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,195
had gotten something
even better...
A real almost murder.
317
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,496
Can you believe it?
318
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,899
Someone tried to kill Bill.
This is the best!
319
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,333
Not for Bill!
320
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:03,203
He's still a little splotchy
around the tummy and neck.
321
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,038
Only the woman
that loves me
322
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,606
would want to study
my nooks and crannies.
323
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,877
Or maybe it's an act
to throw us off her scent.
324
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,378
Clearly, Dolores crabbed you
325
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,747
to collect on your
ample life insurance.
326
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:14,948
Please.
She's the breadwinner.
327
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,818
If anything,
I'd crab her.
Aw!
328
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,419
Not to rain
on this strange parade,
329
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,788
but maybe my good friend Bill
330
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,355
grabbed a crab cake
by mistake.
331
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,424
That makes sense,
except for the friend part.
332
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,159
I haven't said
two words to you.
333
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,460
Well, now you have.
334
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,196
Get on in here.
I'm a hugger.
335
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,597
Not so fast on that hug!
336
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,565
You're the one who brought
the deadly shellfish.
337
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,167
But I wouldn't hurt
a soul.
338
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,469
You did crack open those crabs
and rip their legs off.
339
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,405
Sure, but they're
ugly bottom-feeders.
340
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,640
They don't have souls.
They don't feel love.
341
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:41,842
There is no crab heaven.
342
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,343
Well, I'm in crab heaven.
343
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,312
Was there a sauce
that came with these?
344
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:49,182
What about Lou? We all saw
the way he ogled Dolores
in her Miss Cabernet dress.
345
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,650
Lou? Is that true?
346
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,452
She's a handsome lady.
I enjoy her shape.
347
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,988
This night has been great
for my self-esteem.
348
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,790
But would someone
really kill Mr. Lewis
349
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,458
over his new bride's
athletic frame?
350
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,993
Well, on that note,
I'm leaving.
351
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,295
Why? Are you running
from something?
352
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,264
Perhaps a murder?
353
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,799
Please.
354
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,168
What reason would I have
to gently crab Bill?
355
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,270
I don't know. Perhaps
you've had it out for him
356
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,973
ever since he installed
that hideous tile
in your powder room.
357
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,307
(GASPS) It's not hideous!
358
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,976
It's terracotta!
Everyone loves terracotta!
359
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,811
They really don't.
It's a trash tile.
360
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:18,645
You've gone too far.
361
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,314
Wait! "U R NEX."
362
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,483
An ominous
and unfinished warning!
363
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,651
Well, it couldn't
have been Ginzy.
364
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,619
She'd never ruin
her own crappy coat.
365
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,521
Then who's the criminal
mastermind?
366
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,523
(THUNDER CRASHES)
367
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,492
♪**♪
368
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,294
ADULT ADAM: While
our plot thickened,
369
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,896
Erica was
in the thick of studying.
370
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,197
Why would anyone
need to know
371
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,832
all eleven bones
in the human foot?
372
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,001
They wouldn't, dum-dum.
There's twenty-six.
373
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,336
Oh, really?
And you can name them?
374
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,738
Every metatarsal.
375
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,274
See, I write raps
to help the material stick.
376
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,509
Please don't rap.
And he's rapping.
377
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,644
(RAPPING)
** Yo, the human foot, yeah
It's full of bones
378
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,713
** You got the helix
The tarsal
And the hammer toe
379
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,949
** Ya stand on your foot
And it don't give out
380
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,685
** The bones of the foot's
What I'm all about **
381
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,821
Don't get a bunion, y'all!
382
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,991
Wow. Both dumb
and useless.
383
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,959
Okay, please, let's all
just try to remember
384
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,160
that we're friends
and family
385
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,295
and we should support
each other.
386
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,298
Opposite. I will dominate
and embarrass her
387
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,867
into not only
not becoming a doctor
388
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,169
but never seeking medical
attention in her life.
389
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,306
Well, when I become a doc,
I'll name a skin disease
after you.
390
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,875
"I'm sorry, ma'am,
you have Barry-tigo.
391
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,510
"It's hideous
and incurable."
392
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,979
When you fail,
I will make you my nurse.
393
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,380
Why would she take a job
as your nurse?
394
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,582
It's the only job in medicine
she'll be able to get.
395
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:30,717
I'm off to rap-study.
396
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,885
That's not a thing.
397
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,887
We shall see when
I use all twenty-six
398
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,856
bones in my foot
to defeat you.
399
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,424
Hi-yah! Doctor kick.
400
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,193
Um, I'm not sure
what a doctor kick is,
401
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,728
but you should probably
study harder.
402
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,364
Oh, believe me, I will.
403
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,765
I will.
404
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,535
C-plus? Crappity,
crap, crap, crap!
405
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,203
"A," baby!
406
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,105
(CHUCKLES)
Nice work, Mr. Goldberg!
407
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,607
Thank you. Your teaching
literally saves lives.
408
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:57,577
Excuse me, Professor?
I think you messed up.
409
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,512
See, there was a bunch
of stuff on the test
I didn't know,
410
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,314
so what are you gonna do
to correct this?
411
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,051
I do have one idea.
For next week's lab,
412
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,785
I'm gonna pair you
with a stronger student.
413
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,587
Your brother.
What? No.
414
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,756
Oh, yes, and I have
so much to teach you.
415
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:10,590
There you go.
416
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,225
Lesson one.
417
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,793
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
418
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,262
Write that down.
419
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,796
ADULT ADAM: As Erica
couldn't have felt smaller,
420
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,632
the criminal mastermind
remained at large.
421
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,601
Okay,
here's what we know.
422
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,171
Bill was crabbed
in the den,
423
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,973
and Ginzy's
beautiful coat...
(IMITATES BUZZER)
424
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,208
...was bedazzled
in the foyer.
425
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,978
And every guest had
the time of their life!
426
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,180
I did it! I'm the Jackie O.
of Jenkintown!
427
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,282
This fake murder thing
still happening?
428
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,451
No thanks to you,
but the evening has taken
a welcome turn.
429
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,786
There's a monster
among us.
430
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,754
Monster.
Wait a second.
431
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,924
That's it.
Beverly did it!
(THUNDER CRASHES)
432
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,659
Essie, I swear to God,
if we ever do this again,
you're eating in the kitchen.
433
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:50,163
Think about it.
Who among us benefits the most
from this evening continuing?
434
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,132
Beverly.
435
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,767
You were probably jealous
that Dolores showed you up
in that smokin' dress.
436
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,604
Okay, wait a minute.
You really think I did this?
437
00:13:57,737 --> 00:14:00,073
You did desperately
want the night to work out.
438
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,608
And when it didn't,
you poisoned me?
439
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:02,842
And ruined my coat.
440
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,045
Bedazzling is one of your
signature activities.
441
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,613
You all think I did it?
Definitely!
442
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,081
It makes sense.
Hey, after this,
443
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,483
who wants to go to Dairy Queen
for Blizzards and gossip?
444
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,119
Dad, they're turning
on your wife.
445
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:15,088
Hey, just want to say
thanks for coming,
446
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,823
and this'll count
as my goodbye
447
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,858
so I don't have to say it
individually.
448
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,894
To the DQ!
(THUNDER CRASHES)
449
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,296
Murray, this is
all your fault.
Me? What did I do?
450
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,632
You gave away
the entire fake mystery
451
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,667
and didn't participate
in the real one.
452
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,070
And for some reason,
you took a bath
and put a robe on.
453
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,604
What was I supposed to do?
454
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,705
Anything.
455
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,107
This night
meant a lot to me.
456
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,909
We haven't had
a dinner party
in a long time,
457
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,111
and I thought it would be
a fun, new tradition,
458
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,479
but shame on me
for thinking
459
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,680
that you would want to be
a part of something.
460
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,686
As I leave, I should mention
that your robe is ajar.
461
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,288
ADULT ADAM: While my mom's
night was ruined,
462
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,424
Erica was jumping in with
both feet... Or at least one.
463
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:55,128
In front of each station
is a real human foot.
464
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,230
You and your partner
will be dissecting it
465
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,699
and identifying the bones,
muscles, and tendons.
466
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,068
Good luck.
467
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,635
Okay. Here's how
this is gonna go.
468
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,238
You do nothing, and we both
get the "A" I deserve.
469
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,674
No way.
I got this. I'm ready.
470
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,841
(SIGHS)
471
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,011
Whoa. That's, like,
the real thing.
472
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:13,913
So lithe and elegant.
473
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,748
Probably a ballerina.
474
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,417
Don't make it a person.
475
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,419
(RETCHES) Oh, God.
That's the inside of a foot.
476
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,254
Okay, just back off.
It's not my fault
477
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,889
you don't know
what you want to do
with your life.
478
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,091
Of course I know.
I want to be
479
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,859
(RETCHING) a-a doc...
A doc...
480
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,395
Toes. There's so many toes.
481
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,063
You can't even say
"doctor"? Pathetic.
482
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,699
That's because I don't say,
I do! Now gimme the foot!
483
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,701
No, stop! You're making
the foot dance!
484
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,636
It's hilarious,
but not the time!
485
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,071
(GRUNTS) Aah!
486
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,472
Aah! The foot touched my foot!
487
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,341
No, don't kick it!
Just pick it up, pick it up!
488
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,675
I'll just cover it
with this bucket.
489
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,212
No, it's not a spider!
It's a dead lady's kicker!
490
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,715
Okay. There.
Step away from the foot.
491
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:51,218
Both of you
leave my class now,
and don't come back.
492
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,121
You did this.
493
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,722
It's one thing
to be competitive,
494
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,890
but it's another to ruin
the one thing I always wanted.
495
00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:58,891
Thanks a lot, Erica.
496
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,198
ADULT ADAM: My mom's
murder-mystery party
had gone bust,
497
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,800
but every good murder mystery
has a twist.
498
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,169
Everyone, stop!
499
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,804
I figured out who crabbed Bill
and bedazzled Ginzy!
500
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,140
Adam, it's over.
501
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,308
Not yet. You're all gonna
want to see this.
502
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,011
Our criminal mastermind is...
503
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,613
Me?
What are you talking about?
I don't do things.
504
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,115
And yet you did.
505
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:24,517
(AS BUTLER) In order to help
you understand what happened,
506
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,954
I shall need to take you
through the events
of the evening step by step.
507
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,756
(IN NORMAL VOICE) First,
everyone showed up,
508
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:32,025
and Mrs. Schwartz
was hurtful when she said,
509
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,826
(IMITATING LINDA)
"You look like Fred Savage
at the Emmys."
510
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,295
I don't think I said it
like that.
511
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,130
And Mr. Lewis was all,
512
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,299
(IMITATING BILL)
"Jimminy Criminy!
We're here for the murder!"
513
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,700
Kid's a regular
Rich Little.
514
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,270
Then Virginia arrived
with her deadly mushroom cups.
515
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,038
They weren't deadly.
They were a hit.
516
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,607
Well, I think
the whole evening
was delicious.
517
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,409
Just to reiterate,
my first name is John.
518
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,844
Then Dad ruined
the game 'cause he wasn't
paying attention.
519
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,813
No one could tell,
but he felt bad!
520
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,615
Your father
doesn't feel regret.
521
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,684
Or shame or modesty
or common social decency.
522
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:01,354
Not typically, but tonight,
he wanted to fix things
and didn't know how.
523
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,523
He did know
Bill had a mild allergy,
524
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,358
so he killed the lights...
525
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,161
(ALL GASP, EXCLAIM)
526
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,529
...and smashed a light bulb
527
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:10,730
for dramatic effect!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
528
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,634
Under cover of darkness,
he grabbed a crab cake
529
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,003
and jammed it
into a mushroom cap.
530
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,606
Bill took a bite
and went down.
531
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,007
(GROANS)
532
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,643
I suppose
that makes some sense,
but what about my coat?
533
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,713
Simple.
While we were all
busy bickering...
534
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,216
"Your tile's hideous."
"There's no crab heaven."
535
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,817
"I enjoy her shape"...
536
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,520
That gave Dad time
to find the closest thing
he could to a weapon...
537
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,123
Mom's bedazzling gun.
538
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,657
(GASPS) Murray.
539
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,326
Is that true?
540
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,393
What gave me away?
(THUNDER CRASHES)
541
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,728
The mid-party bath.
542
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,331
You were so overheated
by frolicking amok,
543
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,267
committing heinous acts,
you had to cool
your body down.
544
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,502
Murray, you could've
seriously hurt Bill.
545
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:53,140
Nah, I saw him accidentally
eat some popcorn shrimp
at a Sixers game.
546
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,941
I figured it was worth it.
547
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,544
For fun like that,
you can play fast and loose
with my life anytime.
548
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,012
Wait. Y-You all
had a good time?
549
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,348
Big time.
So much.
550
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,250
I need all your numbers.
My coat is still ruined.
551
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,885
But why?
Why did you do this?
552
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,221
I guess I just felt bad
that I screwed up
your big night.
553
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,459
That is the sweetest thing
you have ever done for me.
554
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,926
Really?
555
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,463
(WRECKLESS ERIC'S
WHOLE WIDE WORLD PLAYING)
556
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,864
ADULT ADAM:
For the ones you love,
557
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,632
you got to step out
of your comfort zone,
558
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,235
even when all you can do
is own up to your mistakes.
559
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,370
You okay, kiddo?
560
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,038
No.
561
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,707
I screwed up college again.
562
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,310
I'm not pre-med.
I'm not pre-anything.
563
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,545
Mm. That's okay.
564
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,047
You'll figure it out.
565
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,250
What if I don't?
566
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,552
I already went down
one wrong path with music.
567
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:40,920
What if it happens again?
568
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,054
It might.
569
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,756
Well, that's not
comforting at all.
570
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,892
Life's full
of a million paths.
571
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,760
I'm still trying out
new ones myself.
572
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:48,795
Really?
573
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,163
Sure.
574
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,764
Your major doesn't matter.
575
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,733
What matters
is your passion,
576
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,402
and that, you got tons of.
577
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:56,903
I guess.
578
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,405
I know.
579
00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,839
And you should probably
use some of it
580
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,474
to fix what happened
with your brother.
581
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,176
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
582
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,745
Erica realized
what Pops had been
trying to say all along.
583
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,415
There was one way
only she could help Barry.
584
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,550
Please.
I need this class.
585
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,452
Mr. Goldberg,
I've made up my mind.
586
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,454
Reconsider.
I'm sorry?
587
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,289
Exhibit A,
Barry's last test...
588
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,525
The highest grade
in the entire class.
589
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,593
Exhibit B,
a letter from Dr. Milgrom
590
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,795
certifying Barry's internship
this summer.
591
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,798
And Exhibit C,
Barry's time card
592
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,334
from Abbington Memorial,
where he volunteers.
593
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,502
What's your point?
My point is,
594
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,604
Barry's always wanted
to be a doctor,
595
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,373
and he's gonna be
a damn good one.
596
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,209
Are you really gonna
take his future from him
because of my screw-up?
597
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,411
Wow. You advocated
for your brother
598
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,247
better than he could
for himself.
599
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,249
I wrote an apology rap.
600
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,451
Yeah, which I don't
want to hear again.
601
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,986
You're back in.
Now please leave.
602
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,121
ADULT ADAM: Turns out
the best way to figure out
what's right for you
603
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,890
is by seeing strengths
in others.
604
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,191
Erica, wait.
605
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,326
Thank you.
606
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,827
It's the least I could do,
607
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,330
since I almost
ruined your life
over a severed foot.
608
00:19:57,464 --> 00:19:58,631
Well, I appreciate it.
609
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,268
Did you ever consider
being a lawyer?
610
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,703
Not really.
611
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,638
Well, you should,
because you were really
impressive back there.
612
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:07,707
I kind of was, wasn't I?
613
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,175
Truly.
614
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,778
And whatever it is
you do decide to do,
615
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,212
I-I know you'll be
awesome at it.
616
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,584
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes,
life can be one giant mystery,
617
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,652
and it's not easy to solve,
618
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,422
but you might be surprised
where you end up,
619
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,825
like being clued in to your
loved one's favorite movie,
620
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:29,228
or even pursuing
a path in life
you hadn't considered.
621
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,131
In the end, if you keep
exploring your passion
622
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:35,234
and following your gut,
one thing becomes clear...
623
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,770
You'll find yourself exactly
where you should be,
624
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,073
ready to take on
the whole, wide world.
625
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:43,310
** Yeah! **
626
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,248
(BELL DINGS)
627
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,020
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
628
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,087
GLASCOTT: There he is!
629
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,056
My murder-mystery buddy!
630
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,258
We fraternize
outside these walls.
631
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,860
(LAUGHTER)
Please keep it down.
632
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,862
I already have
a precarious social dynamic
633
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,196
that doesn't need
"teacher's friend"
634
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,565
added to the mix.
635
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,066
So, did anyone ask about me?
636
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,201
Um, Ginzy? Lou?
637
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,803
That sassy Bill?
638
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,539
I haven't spoken
to my parents' friends
639
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,273
about anything because
I'm in high school
640
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:15,174
and they're old.
641
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,509
Good times.
642
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:17,710
So, when is the next evening
643
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,245
of merriment and laughter?
644
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:21,080
I'm just gonna write down
Mrs. Kremp's phone number
645
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:22,715
because it's
the only one I know.
646
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,985
Finally. (CHUCKLES)
647
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,387
867-5...
648
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,955
Eh, this is from a song!