1 00:00:00,063 --> 00:00:02,718 Back in the '80s, the hottest trends were Jams, 2 00:00:02,797 --> 00:00:05,867 Wayfarer, Swatch watches, and acid-wash jeans. 3 00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:07,588 But at William Penn Academy, 4 00:00:07,695 --> 00:00:09,856 there was one item of colorful wool clothing 5 00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:12,092 that the biggest trendsetters were never without. 6 00:00:12,181 --> 00:00:15,181 Is it just me, or does everyone but us have a letterman jacket? 7 00:00:15,272 --> 00:00:16,696 Speak for yourself, bro. 8 00:00:16,822 --> 00:00:18,874 Did I miss the day they sell the clothes from the lost and found? 9 00:00:18,992 --> 00:00:21,561 We earned these. I lettered in badminton. 10 00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:22,730 - Dive team. - Bass fishing. 11 00:00:22,864 --> 00:00:24,565 Wow. This school's athletic department 12 00:00:24,698 --> 00:00:26,500 has really grown in the last few years. 13 00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:28,001 Yep, I'm a jock now, 14 00:00:28,134 --> 00:00:30,103 and I get all the sweet benefits that come with it. 15 00:00:30,236 --> 00:00:32,039 Hello, my romantic equal. 16 00:00:32,173 --> 00:00:34,375 - Die, dork. - And the dance begins. 17 00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:36,377 Well, it's not like I need a stupid varsity letter 18 00:00:36,509 --> 00:00:37,744 to get into film school. 19 00:00:37,878 --> 00:00:39,280 - Au contraire. - Balls! 20 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:42,049 And balls may be exactly what you need, Mr. Goldberg. 21 00:00:42,183 --> 00:00:44,217 You need to round out your personal journey 22 00:00:44,351 --> 00:00:46,018 with some athletic challenges. 23 00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,122 But people who make movies don't care about sports. 24 00:00:48,255 --> 00:00:49,389 Not true. 25 00:00:49,522 --> 00:00:51,424 Alfred Hitchcock... Star tailback. 26 00:00:51,558 --> 00:00:52,658 Ron Howard... Decathlete. 27 00:00:52,792 --> 00:00:54,427 Ridley Scott... Hockey goon. 28 00:00:54,561 --> 00:00:56,597 That all seems super wrong. 29 00:00:56,729 --> 00:00:58,564 But are you saying if I don't get a varsity letter, 30 00:00:58,698 --> 00:00:59,799 I won't get into film school? 31 00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:01,436 I'm not not saying that. 32 00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:03,503 Luckily, I'm heading up a revival 33 00:01:03,636 --> 00:01:06,840 of a storied William Penn athletic institution. 34 00:01:06,973 --> 00:01:08,008 Pickleball! 35 00:01:08,142 --> 00:01:10,244 The sport of kings! 36 00:01:10,377 --> 00:01:13,881 This is William Penn's last championship pickleball team. 37 00:01:14,014 --> 00:01:15,249 Anyone look familiar? 38 00:01:15,381 --> 00:01:16,782 Is that Vidal Sassoon? 39 00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:20,053 That's me... Earl "Mr. March" Ball. 40 00:01:20,187 --> 00:01:22,322 March was the month for the tri-state pickleball finals, 41 00:01:22,455 --> 00:01:23,624 hence the sobriquet. 42 00:01:23,756 --> 00:01:25,059 I mostly follow. 43 00:01:25,192 --> 00:01:27,394 - Nice hair. What happened? - Time. 44 00:01:27,527 --> 00:01:29,163 She's a cruel thief. 45 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,698 She took my golden locks 46 00:01:30,830 --> 00:01:32,299 but also my precious pickleball 47 00:01:32,433 --> 00:01:33,866 from the fore of mainstream sports. 48 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,234 Come on. Pickleball was never a thing. 49 00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:37,003 How dare you? 50 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:38,705 It swept the nation! 51 00:01:38,839 --> 00:01:40,140 You seem fired up for some reason, 52 00:01:40,273 --> 00:01:41,576 so I'll match your emotion. 53 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,443 Let's do this giant ping-pong thing! 54 00:01:43,577 --> 00:01:45,079 That's the spirit! 55 00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:46,446 Coach Nick, 56 00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:49,650 we got a fresh cucumber ready to be brined. 57 00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:51,552 - Coach him up. - Never. 58 00:01:51,686 --> 00:01:54,488 I'm done with you pushing your filthy pickle in my gym. 59 00:01:54,621 --> 00:01:56,256 Please remember, words matter, 60 00:01:56,390 --> 00:01:58,526 and I am the principal of this school. 61 00:01:58,658 --> 00:02:01,594 And I am the principal of this gym. 62 00:02:01,729 --> 00:02:04,699 The gym is inside the school, so I am principal of both. 63 00:02:04,832 --> 00:02:06,166 Damn it. That tracks. 64 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,936 But I'll still never coach this sorry excuse for a sport. 65 00:02:09,069 --> 00:02:11,671 Yeah, seems like Coach Nick's got some stuff going on. 66 00:02:11,806 --> 00:02:13,841 Why don't you just jump out there and show us what you got? 67 00:02:13,974 --> 00:02:17,111 Hey, everyone. Let's have some fun. 68 00:02:17,243 --> 00:02:18,411 Fresh dill coming your way. 69 00:02:18,545 --> 00:02:20,581 Oh, that seems cute... 70 00:02:20,714 --> 00:02:21,881 Welcome to the pickle, bitch. 71 00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:22,950 Such a regal game. 72 00:02:25,153 --> 00:02:26,920 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 73 00:02:27,053 --> 00:02:30,043 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 74 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,863 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 75 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,246 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 76 00:02:34,339 --> 00:02:37,964 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 77 00:02:38,098 --> 00:02:40,500 It was January 15th, 1980-something, 78 00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:42,336 and with my dad's birthday fast approaching, 79 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:44,338 my mom was on edge. 80 00:02:44,472 --> 00:02:46,672 Murray's turning 51 and has forbidden me 81 00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:48,875 from exercising my greatest gift. 82 00:02:49,009 --> 00:02:51,244 Pointing out when someone's put on a couple of pounds? 83 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,447 I'm very perceptive. I can hear it over the phone. 84 00:02:53,571 --> 00:02:56,681 But no, it's planning elaborate, over-the-top birthday parties. 85 00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,619 That's exactly what she'd done for my dad's 50th birthday, 86 00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:01,622 but it turned out he hated parties, 87 00:03:01,755 --> 00:03:04,457 so he fell asleep under a pile of coats and missed the whole thing. 88 00:03:04,591 --> 00:03:06,794 Which is why we're just having a stupid family dinner 89 00:03:06,926 --> 00:03:08,761 and I'm presenting him with this tiny scrapbook. 90 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:11,732 "Murray Goldberg... Husband, Father, 91 00:03:11,865 --> 00:03:14,235 "President of our United Hearts 92 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:15,501 "Volume 18"? 93 00:03:15,635 --> 00:03:17,170 Well, a legacy this rich 94 00:03:17,303 --> 00:03:19,139 can't be contained in one volume. 95 00:03:19,272 --> 00:03:22,777 The man has two shirts. I think it can be done. 96 00:03:22,909 --> 00:03:24,344 Where'd you get all this stuff, anyway? 97 00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:26,414 His dad gave me a box of old memories. 98 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:27,547 Grumpy Ben? 99 00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:30,765 I thought he hated memories and Murray and boxes. 100 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,152 Yeah, he's not great. 101 00:03:32,285 --> 00:03:34,148 Yo, where's your checkbook? There's a shirt I want. 102 00:03:34,258 --> 00:03:36,689 I mean... I need to recharge my hug batteries. 103 00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:38,826 Has college taught you nothing? 104 00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:40,726 You open with the hug nonsense. 105 00:03:40,861 --> 00:03:42,330 Go ahead. It's in my purse. 106 00:03:43,630 --> 00:03:45,800 Cheggit, it's Dad's birth certificate. 107 00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,567 Whoa. He was a big baby. 108 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,869 They didn't even bother with the ounces. 109 00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:51,539 He's actually a year younger than we thought he was. 110 00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:53,006 Wait. That can't be right. 111 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:54,342 Trust me, Bev, 112 00:03:54,474 --> 00:03:56,475 the feds don't get this stuff wrong. 113 00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:57,845 Full disclosure... 114 00:03:57,978 --> 00:03:59,180 I thought Dad was in his mid-60s. 115 00:03:59,313 --> 00:04:00,414 If this is real, 116 00:04:00,546 --> 00:04:03,582 then that means Murray is turning 50 again, 117 00:04:03,717 --> 00:04:05,018 which means I get a redo. 118 00:04:05,152 --> 00:04:06,587 That's your takeaway? 119 00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:07,920 I wish I could redo coming over here. 120 00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:10,724 By the power vested in me by me, 121 00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:14,093 I am throwing Murray a second 50th birthday party. 122 00:04:14,226 --> 00:04:15,895 Yeah, I don't think he's gonna be excited 123 00:04:16,029 --> 00:04:18,132 about the party or the life-changing error 124 00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:19,099 that will rock him to his core. 125 00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,668 Pishposh. 126 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,868 Murray is gonna be thrilled to hear the great news. 127 00:04:23,003 --> 00:04:24,036 What the hell am I? 128 00:04:24,171 --> 00:04:25,573 50! 129 00:04:25,705 --> 00:04:27,106 Now you get to enjoy 130 00:04:27,241 --> 00:04:30,577 the unspeakably grand second 50th extravaganza 131 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:31,912 that I am somehow 132 00:04:32,046 --> 00:04:33,046 gonna pull together at the last minute. 133 00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:34,881 I'm sorry. I-I'm kinda reeling here. 134 00:04:35,015 --> 00:04:36,183 My whole life's been a lie. 135 00:04:36,316 --> 00:04:37,517 Big-time. 136 00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:39,385 If I had to guess, it's that your hateful father 137 00:04:39,519 --> 00:04:41,655 screwed up yet another detail of your childhood. 138 00:04:41,789 --> 00:04:44,291 But, hey, cake and presents. 139 00:04:44,424 --> 00:04:45,758 That rotten bastard. 140 00:04:45,892 --> 00:04:47,428 Just go talk to him, tell him how you feel. 141 00:04:47,561 --> 00:04:49,462 Oh, I'm gonna talk to him, all right. 142 00:04:49,596 --> 00:04:50,764 I'm gonna talk to him good. 143 00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,933 And also give him this invitation. 144 00:04:53,066 --> 00:04:54,734 How did you get these printed up so quickly? 145 00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,036 I get things done. 146 00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:57,837 Now you go get this done with your dad 147 00:04:57,971 --> 00:04:59,440 so we can finally have my party... 148 00:04:59,573 --> 00:05:01,289 Your party. Your party. 149 00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:03,877 While my dad had a bone to pick with his dad, 150 00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:07,070 I had handpicked someone to help me kick butt at pickleball. 151 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,082 Barry, I need your help. 152 00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:10,484 No can do, bro. I've got a midterm. 153 00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:12,052 But I have a sports emergency. 154 00:05:13,253 --> 00:05:15,755 Say no more. But first, say more. 155 00:05:15,888 --> 00:05:17,323 - What is the sport? - Pickleball. 156 00:05:17,457 --> 00:05:19,291 You will be a champion within hours. 157 00:05:19,426 --> 00:05:21,428 You can do that? 158 00:05:21,561 --> 00:05:23,229 Your relentless training begins now. 159 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,599 I could barely do a regular push-up. 160 00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:27,301 This is just you sitting on me. 161 00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:30,337 If you can catch a pickle blindfolded, you can do anything. 162 00:05:30,469 --> 00:05:32,438 - Barry... Oh, oh! - Look alive. 163 00:05:32,572 --> 00:05:34,474 Oh, God! They're wet and surprisingly hard. 164 00:05:34,608 --> 00:05:35,676 Oh, I'm so sorry. 165 00:05:35,808 --> 00:05:37,743 Wax on, wax off. 166 00:05:37,878 --> 00:05:39,113 This is how Daniel-san learned 167 00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:41,147 basic defensive karate moves. 168 00:05:41,281 --> 00:05:44,051 And how to apply an important coat of wax before it rains. 169 00:05:44,185 --> 00:05:45,452 Barry... 170 00:05:45,585 --> 00:05:47,621 You do know how to play pickleball, don't you? 171 00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:49,323 Till today, I never heard of pickleball. 172 00:05:49,455 --> 00:05:51,325 So this was just you sitting on me 173 00:05:51,457 --> 00:05:53,126 and winging pickles at my head 174 00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,995 and having me clean your car? 175 00:05:55,128 --> 00:05:57,149 Totally. Wouldn't it be cool if those things 176 00:05:57,243 --> 00:05:58,946 actually made you good at pickleball? 177 00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:00,251 You were last my hope. 178 00:06:00,321 --> 00:06:01,829 Who am I supposed to turn to now? 179 00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,243 Chill. 180 00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:05,954 I'll take you to my sports mentor, Coach Mellor. 181 00:06:06,071 --> 00:06:07,461 But Coach Mellor disappeared 182 00:06:07,562 --> 00:06:10,195 to follow his dream to coach wrestling to adult men in the woods. 183 00:06:10,296 --> 00:06:11,875 - We'll never find him. - And yet we will. 184 00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:14,218 I'll tell the police he robbed us at gunpoint. 185 00:06:14,312 --> 00:06:15,715 Then they'll have to find him for us. 186 00:06:15,849 --> 00:06:17,053 Or we could just ask his brother. 187 00:06:17,162 --> 00:06:18,486 Not as fun, but I guess. 188 00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,357 Is that one of those pickles you threw at me earlier? 189 00:06:20,482 --> 00:06:23,162 When you get to college, you'll learn the value of a pickle. 190 00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:25,726 While Barry and I set off to find Coach Mellor, 191 00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:28,294 my dad was about to go off on Pop-Pop. 192 00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:30,196 Where you been? I've been out here five minutes. 193 00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:32,532 Oh, I thought you were that busybody lady from across the street 194 00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:34,835 who's always trying to bring me food, make sure I'm okay. 195 00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:38,271 Open the door next time, have a conversation, that'll get rid of her. 196 00:06:38,404 --> 00:06:40,508 - What's crawling up your ass? - This. 197 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,208 What is that? Deed to your fancy house? 198 00:06:42,342 --> 00:06:44,710 Came here to rub it in my face? Nicely played. 199 00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:46,012 It's my birth certificate. 200 00:06:46,145 --> 00:06:47,813 It says I'm a year younger than I thought. 201 00:06:47,948 --> 00:06:49,049 Yeah. Well, oops. 202 00:06:49,181 --> 00:06:51,085 "Oops"? How the hell did this happen? 203 00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:54,188 I was busy. I didn't have time for things like birthdays or meals 204 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,554 or wherever the hell you were. 205 00:06:55,688 --> 00:06:57,034 So, you've known about this my whole life? 206 00:06:57,159 --> 00:06:58,909 No, no. Not your whole life. 207 00:06:58,993 --> 00:07:00,441 I noticed it when you were about 12... 208 00:07:00,526 --> 00:07:02,762 - Or, I guess, 11. - Unbelievable. 209 00:07:02,886 --> 00:07:04,431 Oh, come on. What difference did it make? 210 00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:06,033 The difference of a year. 211 00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:09,436 Here we go again, his highness bellyaching about his birthday. 212 00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:11,537 What birthday? You never even gave me one. 213 00:07:11,671 --> 00:07:13,606 La-di-da. Look who needs a birthday every year. 214 00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:15,274 Who are you, Colonel Sanders? 215 00:07:15,409 --> 00:07:17,778 - The chicken guy? - He was fancy, though, huh? 216 00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:19,880 I mean, who would wear a white suit around all those chickens? 217 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,248 Fine. The Colonel is a Southern dandy. 218 00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:24,752 But you never gave me a card or a cake 219 00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:26,652 or, God forbid, a present! 220 00:07:26,786 --> 00:07:28,388 Well, who knows what kids want? 221 00:07:28,522 --> 00:07:29,789 I told you every year! 222 00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:31,224 Yeah, socks that you'd call your own. 223 00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:33,794 No, a transistor radio to listen to a ball game! 224 00:07:33,928 --> 00:07:35,362 Oh, boo-hoo. 225 00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:37,098 You know what you did get? A roof. 226 00:07:37,231 --> 00:07:39,588 Oh, you spoiled me by letting me indoors. 227 00:07:39,674 --> 00:07:40,601 Can I just say something? 228 00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:41,978 Yeah, give me your half-assed apology. 229 00:07:42,064 --> 00:07:43,642 I wasn't going to apologize. 230 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,705 What I was gonna say was that if anybody handed me an extra year, 231 00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:48,755 I wouldn't spend it complaining about not getting a pony. 232 00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:49,833 Transistor radio! 233 00:07:49,919 --> 00:07:51,545 There he goes again. 234 00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:57,287 Welcome to phase one of your fabulous 50th redo party. 235 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:58,584 ♪ Happy Bir... ♪ 236 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,282 Not happy and no parties. 237 00:08:00,385 --> 00:08:01,453 I'll be in the shed. 238 00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:04,158 Check it out. 239 00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:06,632 The breeze from his angry walk-by blew out the candles. 240 00:08:06,764 --> 00:08:08,643 I wonder what he wished for. 241 00:08:08,762 --> 00:08:10,664 If I had to guess, to sit in the shed. 242 00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:13,179 While my dad made party-planning a challenge, 243 00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,521 finding Coach Mellor was easier than we thought. 244 00:08:15,615 --> 00:08:16,579 Coach Mellor? 245 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:19,146 Well, well, well. If it isn't the Goldfarb boys. 246 00:08:19,272 --> 00:08:21,008 - You look... - Like an old, stinky dook 247 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,042 left in your favorite running shoe, 248 00:08:23,176 --> 00:08:24,611 and you want to go for a run, but you can't, 249 00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,680 'cause that hot steamer owns that shoe now. 250 00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:28,214 I was gonna say "sad," but sure, 251 00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:30,087 I guess your dook-shoe story is more colorful. 252 00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:31,318 What are you doing here? 253 00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:32,620 I thought you were at billionaire oddball 254 00:08:32,752 --> 00:08:34,520 John du Pont's Foxcatcher Farm. 255 00:08:34,654 --> 00:08:35,989 I was, but those dark woods 256 00:08:36,121 --> 00:08:38,159 hid more secrets than I'm willing to admit. 257 00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:39,960 But I turned that "L" into a "W" 258 00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,628 by quitting coaching forever. 259 00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:43,896 But you were the one who always said winners never quit. 260 00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:46,766 And you said the only cure for broken bones is jumping jacks, 261 00:08:46,899 --> 00:08:48,986 which is medically wrong, but inspiring, I guess. 262 00:08:49,098 --> 00:08:50,465 Sorry, boys, 263 00:08:50,525 --> 00:08:53,432 but I've hung up my whistle... there. 264 00:08:54,674 --> 00:08:58,178 - But it's a sports emergency! - It's true. 265 00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,046 Without you, I won't get into the one school 266 00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:01,647 that guarantees future success... 267 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,149 Film school. 268 00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:04,717 You know, I've spent so much time 269 00:09:04,851 --> 00:09:07,721 around jacked men pushing physical and societal limits 270 00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:10,291 that I forgot the charming whine of a little boy. 271 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,459 - Is that a yes? - Far from it. I'm no coach. 272 00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:13,827 Look at me. I'm a mess. 273 00:09:13,961 --> 00:09:15,495 I've gained two pounds. 274 00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:17,797 Told you not to eat that 17th almond. 275 00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,365 See that? No self-control. 276 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,101 Whatever your thing is... I can't help you, boys. I'm sorry. 277 00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:23,904 Wait, Coach, is that you? 278 00:09:24,037 --> 00:09:25,739 Yeah, that's me. 279 00:09:25,872 --> 00:09:27,807 Were my delts really that jacked? 280 00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:30,611 Damn it, Rick, leave pickleball in the past, where it belongs. 281 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,580 You're just mad 'cause I was a better P-Baller than you were. 282 00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:34,180 Of course I am. 283 00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:36,015 I was an All-American football player, 284 00:09:36,149 --> 00:09:38,385 but God didn't grace me with the delicate wrists 285 00:09:38,518 --> 00:09:39,586 to wield that mighty paddle. 286 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,154 Enough talk about God's fickle nature. 287 00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:44,024 My pathetic-nerd brother 288 00:09:44,158 --> 00:09:45,491 needs someone to show him how to pickle. 289 00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,593 It's true. I forgot how pathetic and nerdy he is. 290 00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:49,395 I don't really think that's the main takeaway here. 291 00:09:49,529 --> 00:09:51,564 Look at his spindly arms and toothpick legs. 292 00:09:51,698 --> 00:09:54,300 His concave chest and that doughy neck. 293 00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,369 And his flat feet and sickly posture. 294 00:09:56,453 --> 00:09:57,705 Spin around, Adam. 295 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,946 Show us how sad the back of your body is. 296 00:10:00,073 --> 00:10:01,775 Yeah, my instinct is to say no. 297 00:10:01,909 --> 00:10:04,211 You know what? Seeing this tragic excuse 298 00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:06,288 for the human form in its full non-glory 299 00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:07,580 is just the kick 300 00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:09,765 in the two-button polyester shorts I needed. 301 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:12,398 I'm back, baby! 302 00:10:12,485 --> 00:10:13,499 Whoo! 303 00:10:13,553 --> 00:10:15,389 And someone else is back, too. 304 00:10:17,557 --> 00:10:19,373 Hello, old friend. 305 00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:23,943 Follow me to greatness, boys. 306 00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:25,959 With that, my training began. 307 00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:28,921 My dad didn't want a birthday redo, 308 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:31,554 but my mom wasn't gonna take "no" for an answer. 309 00:10:31,624 --> 00:10:33,693 Welcome, family and friends of Murray Goldberg. 310 00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:36,330 I've assembled this dream team, 311 00:10:36,464 --> 00:10:37,532 and Essie, 312 00:10:37,665 --> 00:10:39,901 together to brainstorm some ideas 313 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,803 for Murray's 50th surprise party. 314 00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:44,383 Geoff will be writing down your ideas. 315 00:10:44,471 --> 00:10:45,706 Here's an idea. 316 00:10:45,774 --> 00:10:47,008 We don't throw Dad a party 317 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:48,781 because he clearly said he doesn't want one. 318 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,512 Boo! 319 00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:51,711 Don't write that down. 320 00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:52,913 But Erica's right, Bevy. 321 00:10:53,014 --> 00:10:55,015 The man chose a shed over cake. 322 00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,584 That's only because he has never truly had a birthday. 323 00:10:57,718 --> 00:11:01,155 Now, once Murray understands the joy of celebrating his special day, 324 00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:03,758 that shed won't seem like such a fun option. 325 00:11:03,892 --> 00:11:06,617 Please. You just want a redo of his last 50th birthday. 326 00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:08,262 Okay. Let's get pitching. 327 00:11:08,394 --> 00:11:10,586 All right. What does Murray Goldberg like? 328 00:11:10,727 --> 00:11:13,630 Hmm. 329 00:11:13,763 --> 00:11:15,897 Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? There are no bad ideas. 330 00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:17,499 Cheese? 331 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,035 I'm also in a cheese area. 332 00:11:19,168 --> 00:11:20,302 Did somebody already say cheese? 333 00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:21,738 The man does love cheese. 334 00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,138 Now we're cooking with gas. 335 00:11:23,272 --> 00:11:25,208 Okay, enough with cheese. He likes other things. 336 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,277 Bevy, maybe we should get the ball rolling 337 00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,811 with things he doesn't like. 338 00:11:28,945 --> 00:11:30,479 There's a lot of those. 339 00:11:30,613 --> 00:11:32,681 I'll start. People. 340 00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:34,450 - Dancing. - The Dallas Cowboys. 341 00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:35,719 Neighbors who wave to him. 342 00:11:35,852 --> 00:11:37,120 - Loud music. - Loud birds. 343 00:11:37,253 --> 00:11:39,022 - Quiet birds. - Doctors who advertise. 344 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,157 My nephew, Darrin, for some reason I can't understand. 345 00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:43,460 Parties, which again begs the question, 346 00:11:43,529 --> 00:11:44,739 why are we doing this? 347 00:11:44,825 --> 00:11:46,929 Mrs. Kremp, uh, what did you say after Vic said Cowboys? 348 00:11:47,062 --> 00:11:49,464 Okay, this has obviously been a huge waste of time. 349 00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:50,833 Oh, I know! 350 00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:53,503 Firemen acting like big shots. 351 00:11:53,636 --> 00:11:55,471 We're done, Vic. Thanks for nothing. 352 00:11:55,604 --> 00:11:57,739 Now, I need you all to get the [Bleep] out of my house. 353 00:11:57,873 --> 00:11:59,041 But come back in three hours, 354 00:11:59,175 --> 00:12:00,777 and don't bring any birds or Darrin. 355 00:12:00,911 --> 00:12:02,712 He spells it with an "I." 356 00:12:02,845 --> 00:12:04,681 While my mom's party committee fizzled out, 357 00:12:04,814 --> 00:12:06,849 I was ready to sizzle on the pickleball court. 358 00:12:06,983 --> 00:12:08,184 You boys are in luck. 359 00:12:08,316 --> 00:12:11,354 Not only are you being trained by a pickleball champion, 360 00:12:11,487 --> 00:12:14,591 but that champion happens to have his own court. 361 00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:16,026 Ha-ha! 362 00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:18,494 Uh, you mean this sad dirt patch? 363 00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:19,763 And the net's all broken. 364 00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:20,930 You don't need a net. 365 00:12:21,064 --> 00:12:22,098 I don't know anything about pickleball, 366 00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:23,633 but I'm pretty sure you do. 367 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,968 It's, like, the only thing you need. 368 00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:27,964 Let's get to work. 369 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,472 Lob! Lob! Lob! 370 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,310 It was time to get serious about pickleball. 371 00:12:34,444 --> 00:12:35,477 Erne! Erne! Erne! 372 00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:38,368 Luckily, I had two of the greatest sports mentors watching over me. 373 00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:39,915 - Half Volley! - Half Volley. 374 00:12:40,048 --> 00:12:41,650 Thanks, Coach Echo. Lob! 375 00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:43,519 - Erne! Dink! - But I still sucked. 376 00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:45,587 - Half Volley! - Big-time. 377 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:48,023 So dense. 378 00:12:48,157 --> 00:12:50,892 That's the beets and pears and bananas 379 00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:53,195 and a second type of beet. 380 00:12:53,329 --> 00:12:55,174 Oh, yeah, that's what I'm tasting. 381 00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:57,518 Nah, you're tasting the brewer's yeast. 382 00:12:57,596 --> 00:12:58,508 Oh! 383 00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,392 Again! 384 00:12:59,455 --> 00:13:01,570 But then something crazy happened. 385 00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:02,839 Maybe it was all the yelling 386 00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:04,191 - or the beet smoothie. - Erne! 387 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:05,433 - Dink! Half Volley! - Either way, 388 00:13:05,464 --> 00:13:07,074 pickleball started to make sense. 389 00:13:07,075 --> 00:13:08,076 Ooh. 390 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,210 Ooh! I brought the heat. 391 00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,681 That's one spicy pickle, Goldfarb. 392 00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,181 We did good work here today, Coach. 393 00:13:13,315 --> 00:13:14,950 We really did. 394 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,820 This is the first time since I escaped that compound by foot 395 00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:19,221 that I've felt anything but numb. 396 00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,356 - What happened there? - I'm not ready. 397 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:22,625 But I think I kinda am. 398 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,226 I say when you're kinda ready. 399 00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:27,395 You're ready. Kinda. 400 00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:29,766 Meanwhile, my mom was ready to hit my dad 401 00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:32,335 with the best surprise 50th redo ever. 402 00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:35,356 Everyone, come on in. Welcome to Murmania. 403 00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:36,639 Murmania? 404 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:40,008 Indeed. A love letter to my husband in party form. 405 00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:41,444 You might want to remove your shoes, 406 00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:43,412 'cause I'm about to knock your socks off. 407 00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:45,581 Well, I've got a wicked bunion, but okay. 408 00:13:45,714 --> 00:13:47,249 Pretzels and milk, anyone? 409 00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:49,252 It's Mr. Goldberg's favorite snackable drink. 410 00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:50,619 My dad likes it for some reason. 411 00:13:50,753 --> 00:13:52,254 Behold. 412 00:13:52,388 --> 00:13:55,119 Holy moly. Is that the guy from Channel Five 413 00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:56,408 who hits the chime when he does the weather? 414 00:13:58,283 --> 00:14:00,830 I'd recognize that simple chime anywhere. 415 00:14:00,963 --> 00:14:02,198 Tonight's forecast... 416 00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:05,000 100% chance of Murray's tears of joy. 417 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,668 Oh, my. What's happening here? 418 00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:10,473 Oh, tonight, it's the dining and reclining room. 419 00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:13,391 Whoa, pretzel-y milk and lumbar support. 420 00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:14,551 But wait. There's more. 421 00:14:14,576 --> 00:14:17,013 Please welcome Lee of Lee's Hoagies. 422 00:14:17,146 --> 00:14:19,382 And for our final special guest of the night, 423 00:14:19,514 --> 00:14:21,984 someone my husband has admired for years, 424 00:14:22,118 --> 00:14:24,619 the Phillie Phanatic! 425 00:14:25,921 --> 00:14:27,690 Oh! 426 00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:30,260 The San Diego Chicken's mortal enemy. 427 00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:32,460 You've done it again, Beverly. 428 00:14:32,594 --> 00:14:34,296 You know what, Mom? This is crazy, 429 00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:35,897 and not in your usual clinical way. 430 00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:38,200 - Aww. - Honestly, Dad is gonna love this. 431 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:41,036 Well, after I asked you fools what Murray would like, 432 00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:44,440 I realized nobody knows that man better than me, 433 00:14:44,574 --> 00:14:46,650 his perfect wife with the beautiful hair and skin. 434 00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:48,064 Oh, Dad's walking up the driveway. 435 00:14:48,143 --> 00:14:49,811 Oh. Uh, okay. 436 00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:51,413 Everybody, shut up! 437 00:14:51,546 --> 00:14:53,114 Shut up. Shut your faces. 438 00:14:53,139 --> 00:14:54,353 Even you, Phillie Phanatic. 439 00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:55,884 Beverly, I don't think he has a working mouth. 440 00:14:57,686 --> 00:15:00,522 Surprise! 441 00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:01,791 In that moment, 442 00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:03,760 my Dad took in everything my mom did 443 00:15:03,892 --> 00:15:06,229 to make his birthday redo perfect, 444 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,698 and all he did was this. 445 00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:13,236 Why, Chime Guy? 446 00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,705 While my mom's party was a bust, 447 00:15:15,838 --> 00:15:18,109 I was ready to bust some moves on the pickleball court. 448 00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:19,675 Well, well, well. 449 00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,778 Look who heard the siren song of the pickle 450 00:15:21,911 --> 00:15:23,132 and came running back home. 451 00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,413 Mr. March. 452 00:15:24,546 --> 00:15:25,915 In the flesh. 453 00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:28,350 Is your protege ready to bring that hot dill? 454 00:15:28,484 --> 00:15:29,752 All that stands in the way 455 00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,721 of a letterman jacket and film school 456 00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:34,022 is chopping a backspin to the baseline. 457 00:15:34,157 --> 00:15:35,758 I hope you play as smooth as you talk. 458 00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,232 Schernecke! 459 00:15:39,161 --> 00:15:41,830 Goldberg, you beat our worst player, you're on the team. 460 00:15:41,964 --> 00:15:44,266 Wait. I'm our worst player? 461 00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:45,756 Sorry you had to hear it this way, 462 00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:48,336 but glad we don't have to tiptoe around it anymore. Go get 'em. 463 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,451 This was it. 464 00:15:49,522 --> 00:15:51,529 My pickleball journey may have been days in the making, 465 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,441 but thanks to my training, 466 00:15:53,506 --> 00:15:55,344 there was no way I wouldn't dominate the court. 467 00:15:58,447 --> 00:15:59,615 - And I did. - Yeah! 468 00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:00,916 Sports was easy... 469 00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,618 Until it wasn't. 470 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:04,954 Turns out, that point would be my only one. 471 00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:06,321 Try again. Try again. 472 00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:08,557 Yep, that day on the pickleball court, 473 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,627 Matt Schernecke sliced and served me up hard. 474 00:16:11,761 --> 00:16:14,296 Okay, it's 20-1. I think it's safe to call it. 475 00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:15,964 Terrible effort, Goldberg. 476 00:16:16,098 --> 00:16:18,067 Yes! I'm still the worst. 477 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,569 Oh. 478 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,770 Damn it! Now I'll never get into film school. 479 00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:25,006 I just say that to get folks interested in joining the team. 480 00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:28,878 Your future as a filmmaker still may or may not happen. 481 00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,431 That was hard to watch. 482 00:16:32,189 --> 00:16:33,782 So, this was all for nothing? 483 00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,314 Not nothing. 484 00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:37,018 You proved beyond a shadow of a doubt 485 00:16:37,152 --> 00:16:38,447 that I'm not a coach anymore. 486 00:16:39,455 --> 00:16:40,522 I'm just a man. 487 00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:42,791 A man who has to go to a special gym 488 00:16:42,925 --> 00:16:47,032 to find heavy enough weights to lift. But still just a man. 489 00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:55,928 I'd failed at pickleball, 490 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,365 but I couldn't let Coach Mellor think that he failed me. 491 00:16:58,460 --> 00:16:59,695 What are you doing? 492 00:16:59,828 --> 00:17:02,403 Just sodding over a beautiful pickleball court. 493 00:17:02,496 --> 00:17:04,395 Thinking about putting some azaleas right there, 494 00:17:04,504 --> 00:17:07,324 maybe a lovely crushed-stone path where you're standing. 495 00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,372 - So long forever, my special pickle. - I know this is a big blow, 496 00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:14,279 but this yard is gonna be a charming outdoor area for entertaining. 497 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,693 Just say your piece. 498 00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,622 I wanted to stop by and say thanks. 499 00:17:17,757 --> 00:17:19,325 Thanks for what? You didn't make the team. 500 00:17:19,435 --> 00:17:21,044 Yeah. 501 00:17:21,568 --> 00:17:23,483 But you never gave up on me. 502 00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:26,007 I-I know you don't feel like a coach, 503 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,803 but I still think you're one of the best. 504 00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:28,975 Yeah. 505 00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:31,138 Truth be told, it was kinda nice getting out there. 506 00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,705 Well, you should know, letterman jacket or not, 507 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,189 you've always inspired me. 508 00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:39,072 And you'll always be my coach. 509 00:17:39,165 --> 00:17:43,016 Damn it, Goldberg, you know absolutely nothing about physical fitness, 510 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,318 but you always seem to be able to give my heart a workout. 511 00:17:50,122 --> 00:17:51,391 W-What's this for? 512 00:17:51,524 --> 00:17:53,191 Well, as far as I'm concerned, 513 00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,194 you'll always be first string on the team of life. 514 00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:56,562 That's not a thing. 515 00:17:56,696 --> 00:17:57,797 Just put it on. 516 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,369 Now, bring it in for a standing dog pile. 517 00:18:07,038 --> 00:18:10,242 With that, I finally got my letterman jacket. 518 00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,244 As for Coach Mellor, he was finally thinking 519 00:18:12,378 --> 00:18:14,314 about getting back in the game. 520 00:18:16,516 --> 00:18:19,118 The thing is, when you make peace with your past, 521 00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:20,686 your future is wide open. 522 00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:22,589 I'm sorry, Murray. 523 00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,956 You said you didn't want a party, and I didn't listen. 524 00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:26,846 I-It wasn't that. 525 00:18:28,594 --> 00:18:30,026 It was perfect. 526 00:18:30,104 --> 00:18:31,424 You liked it? 527 00:18:31,518 --> 00:18:34,924 Yeah, all those people, everything you did for me, I loved it. 528 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,536 Then why are you in here? 529 00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,337 Oh, geez. 530 00:18:39,005 --> 00:18:41,107 Oh. 531 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,276 My dad never cared about my birthday, 532 00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:45,143 so... 533 00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:46,613 I tried not to care. 534 00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:48,948 But tonight, 535 00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:50,950 I realized how much I missed. 536 00:18:51,584 --> 00:18:52,818 Oh, Murray. 537 00:18:52,952 --> 00:18:54,487 Nah, it's a good thing. 538 00:18:54,621 --> 00:18:58,959 I may have not had a great dad or a great childhood, 539 00:18:59,092 --> 00:19:02,441 but I have a great wife and a great life now. 540 00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,833 Well, you know what the best part about this whole thing is? 541 00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:08,511 I saw hoagies down there. 542 00:19:09,825 --> 00:19:12,546 You're a whole year younger than you thought you were. 543 00:19:12,671 --> 00:19:15,239 And even better, I get an extra year with you. 544 00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:18,317 Sometimes, if you're lucky enough, 545 00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:19,866 life gives you a second chance. 546 00:19:20,748 --> 00:19:22,849 It might not happen the way you thought it would, 547 00:19:22,982 --> 00:19:26,552 but often, you'll find the biggest wins are off the court. 548 00:19:32,993 --> 00:19:34,995 Turns out, no matter how you count the years, 549 00:19:35,128 --> 00:19:36,996 time keeps moving. 550 00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:39,765 And sure, it's easy to fear getting older, 551 00:19:39,899 --> 00:19:42,901 but the truth is, if you're busy worrying about the past, 552 00:19:43,036 --> 00:19:44,871 you might not notice that the present moments 553 00:19:45,004 --> 00:19:46,384 are often the perfect ones. 554 00:19:47,642 --> 00:19:51,477 And in the end, those are the ones you'll remember forever. 555 00:19:51,611 --> 00:19:53,713 Here. I, uh, got ya something. 556 00:19:53,783 --> 00:19:54,798 Don't make a big deal. 557 00:19:57,883 --> 00:19:59,704 Now you can listen to all your ball games or whatever. 558 00:19:59,806 --> 00:20:02,298 - I love it! - Yeah, well, anyway, uh... 559 00:20:03,789 --> 00:20:05,024 Happy birthday. 560 00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:10,746 So, that's the story 561 00:20:10,832 --> 00:20:12,731 of the second time my dad turned 50 562 00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:15,166 and how he always said 563 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,231 it was one of the best nights of his life. 564 00:20:26,446 --> 00:20:27,714 Give him this invitation. 565 00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:31,750 How you doing, everybody? I'm Adam Goldberg. 566 00:20:31,884 --> 00:20:33,385 It's my dad's birthday right now, 567 00:20:33,518 --> 00:20:35,854 and he is 50 or 51. We don't really know. 568 00:20:35,988 --> 00:20:37,824 ♪ Happy Birthday ♪ 569 00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:40,018 50 years, and look what I have to show for it. 570 00:20:42,245 --> 00:20:43,713 Well, well, well. 571 00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:46,221 Look who came to dance one last pickle. 572 00:20:46,283 --> 00:20:47,871 Hey, Mr. March, or should I say, 573 00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,985 Mr. March Your Ass Out of Here on a Stretcher? 574 00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:51,175 That was tortured. 575 00:20:51,244 --> 00:20:52,636 Like your forehand. 576 00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:54,074 I hope you got your hot dog ready, 577 00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:56,291 because you're about to be relish, my friend. 578 00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:57,335 Bring the pickle! 579 00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,405 Pickle! 580 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:17,029 Aah! Damn it, that hurt! 581 00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:20,372 Curse you and this God-awful excuse for a sport! 582 00:21:21,954 --> 00:21:26,954 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com