1 00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:02,698 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:04,395 my mom was at school as much as I was. 3 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:07,050 She berated our principal, terrified our teachers, 4 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,400 and embarrassed us with endless pop-ins. 5 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:11,446 But I was finally a senior, 6 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,317 which meant our time at William Penn was winding down, 7 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:14,579 or so I thought. 8 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,060 Welp, this is my stop. A fine day to you, madame. 9 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,670 Not so fast, mister. 10 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,107 You have to pay the full fare. 11 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:21,891 [NAILS CLICKING] Beep boopity boop. 12 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,372 Okay, that'll be three butterfly kisses and a head sniff. 13 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,461 You know what? Have at it. 14 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:28,071 What? 15 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,552 You never let me just have my way with your neck meat. 16 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,989 There's only 68 more drop-offs till I'm out of this place, 17 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,686 so I figure, why fight it anymore? 18 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,166 Well, a win's a win. 19 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,255 Now, bring that luscious noggin over to Mama. 20 00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,040 [SNIFFS, GASPS] What the hell? 21 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,172 [HORN HONKS]Excuse me. What am I looking at here? 22 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,956 Everybody knows that Iam always in charge 23 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,436 of the annual bake sale. 24 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:46,568 I'm sorry, who are you? 25 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,613 Who am I? Who are you? 26 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,354 I'm Tim Johanssen's mom, Trish. 27 00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:51,703 I don't need to know your name, trash. 28 00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,357 Trish.I said what I said. 29 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,838 Mom, you left the car running and the door open. 30 00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,796 I'm not going anywhere until these ugly-ass snickerdoodles 31 00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,537 are out of my face. 32 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:02,758 Whoa! Mrs. Goldberg, these are the new freshman moms. 33 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,890 It's time to pass the torch. 34 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,154 Or I take that torch and I burn this school to the ground. 35 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,678 Beverly, Adam is a senior now, 36 00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,549 and with no other offspring at William Penn, 37 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,943 that means, hallelujah, your time is up. 38 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,859 Fine, these frumpy cows can handle the bake sale. 39 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:19,383 I'll just, uh, organize the blood drive again. 40 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,386 Well, we're going with licensed nurses this year. 41 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,562 I never want to have to write the words "missing blood" 42 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,434 on an insurance form again. 43 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,305 Then I'll grab a yellow vest and be the crossing guard. 44 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,307 I fear that the parents and faculty 45 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,135 would be too tempted to run you over. 46 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,571 And don't forget all the kids who can drive. 47 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:34,790 Then what about librarian?Nope. 48 00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:35,921 Security guard?Nuh-unh. 49 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,227 Lunch lady?We have Doris. 50 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,359 Brunch lady?Not a thing. 51 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,882 Janitor?Also Doris. 52 00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:43,059 Oh, I know, I'll be a substitute teacher again. 53 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,409 I'm sorry, but all of our teaching positions 54 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,324 have been filled! Ha-ha! 55 00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:48,673 Boom shakalaka-laka! 56 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,240 Boom shaka...MRS. FERGUSON: Principal Ball? 57 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,199 It's happening. I'm having my baby.No. No! 58 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:55,376 No, no! This is terrible timing, Mrs. Ferguson! 59 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,465 No!When do I start? 60 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,728 Damn it, I prematurely boom shakalaka'd. 61 00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:01,469 [LAUGHING] Yay! 62 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,993 You want me! You really want me! 63 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,821 No! Don't let her in the building, man! 64 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,693 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 65 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,652 ♪♪ I'm twisted up inside 66 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:13,698 ♪♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 67 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:18,529 ♪♪ I don't know the future 68 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:22,054 ♪♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪♪ 69 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,013 ADULT ADAM: It was February 10th, 1980-something, 70 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,145 and my dad was still in business 71 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,929 with his furniture enemy. 72 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,409 And as the Formica King warned him... 73 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:29,323 I'm a difficult partner. 74 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:30,802 There's my guy. 75 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,022 All right, question. 76 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,111 Who's better-looking, me or me? 77 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,765 I prefer the one that doesn't talk. 78 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,071 Oh, come on, everybody loves the Formica King. 79 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,204 We don't own a medieval theme restaurant. 80 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,466 We sell credenzas. 81 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,251 [CHUCKLING] Check it out, Mur. 82 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,297 I'm Sir Vic, the knight of this round table. 83 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:48,994 [CHUCKLES] It's an entertainment console, but you get it. 84 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,561 Sadly, I do. 85 00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:51,954 Uh, just set it over there, guys. 86 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:53,390 What the hell is this?Only the greatest thing ever, 87 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,262 a giant lip couch. 88 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,307 Mur, lip furniture is au courant right now. 89 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,179 Maybe, but we're not selling it in my store. 90 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,876 Ah-ah-ah! Ourstore. 91 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,704 It was the Ottoman Empire first. 92 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,488 Yeah, but then I bought half the empire, 93 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,534 and I turned it into more of a kingdom. 94 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:07,622 And kingdoms are better than empires. 95 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,058 What are you talking about? 96 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,146 Empires are better than kingdoms. 97 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,843 Empires are sovereign states 98 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,410 controlled by a single supreme authority. 99 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:14,933 Yeah, but everybody wants to be a king. 100 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,544 That's true. King me, baby. 101 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,850 Empires control vast territories. 102 00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:21,375 Point for Murray. The original Ottoman Empire 103 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:24,465 controlled Europe, Asia, and Africa for centuries. 104 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,510 Ha!It was, uh, ultimately defeated 105 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:27,468 by the United Kingdom. 106 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:28,991 Ha back at ya! 107 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,993 Why don't you know this much about end tables? 108 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,169 And there you have it. The lips stay. 109 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,736 Long live the king! 110 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,303 ADULT ADAM: While our dad was being conquered, 111 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,348 my senior year was about to be invaded 112 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,220 by another hostile force.[SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 113 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,874 Good morning, class. My name is Mrs. Goldberg. 114 00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:46,138 And while Mrs. Ferguson is at home nursing her new baby, 115 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,445 and I saw a picture, he's a chunker, 116 00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:51,709 you all will be nursing at my bosom of knowledge. 117 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,711 You have Corbett's attention!Great. 118 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,800 So, where did Mrs. Ferguson leave off? 119 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,628 We were watching the last 20 minutes of Splash. 120 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,021 Why would she show you a mermaid movie? 121 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,589 Mom, it's senior year. 122 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:03,721 Nothing we do affects getting into college anymore. 123 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:04,809 It's classic senioritis. 124 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:06,942 Senioritis? 125 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:10,119 I want to infect you with a new disease called learn-a-rhea. 126 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:12,252 Learn-a-rhea? My brother got that on spring break. 127 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,862 It was no bueno. 128 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,516 And senioritis is a high school tradition, 129 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,300 just like Senior Skip Day this Tuesday. 130 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,041 Senior Skip Day? 131 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:20,608 Oh, hell, no! 132 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:25,569 No way, Jose. This lounge is for teachers only. 133 00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:28,920 I ama teacher, but the time for lounging is no more. 134 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,574 Mrs. Ferguson has been showing Splash! 135 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,359 That is unacceptable.I know! 136 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,143 Iwas gonna show Splash.What's that, now? 137 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:35,579 I guess I could go with Road House. 138 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,320 Unh-unh, I called Road House. 139 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,017 I teach Spanish, 140 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,932 and there's nothing more caliente 141 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,369 than a shirtless Patrick Swayze. 142 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,066 Well, I teach chemistry, 143 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,981 and what Swayze and Kelly Lynch have 144 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,070 can't be found in any textbook. 145 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,898 So you've all just been showing movies in class? 146 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,465 That's right, blondie. 147 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,336 The seniors take their foot off the gas, and so do we. 148 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,990 So you know about Senior Skip Day? 149 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,383 You mean Teacher Ditch Day? 150 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:58,385 I'm hitting Jo-Ann Fabrics. 151 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,691 They have wine glasses there that say, "I'm on Cloud Wine." 152 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,519 I, of course, will be at the golf range 153 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,434 foraging for lost balls. 154 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,436 I can get up to 5 cents for some of those babies. 155 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,047 The hell you are! 156 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,223 My child's mind will not sit idle 157 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,008 while you two waste your pathetic lives 158 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,966 on wine and balls! 159 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,751 ADULT ADAM: As our mom wouldn't let anyone take it easy, 160 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,448 our dad was reeling 161 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,711 after another hard day with Formica Mike. 162 00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,627 [DOOR CLOSES]Hey, Mur! Dolores sent me to borrow your blender. 163 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,629 She's making melon soup. 164 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:26,978 'Cause who don't want cold fruit stew? 165 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,415 Ugh. Whoa. 166 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,546 What's wrong with your dad? 167 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,678 [SIGHS]I know. Look at him. 168 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,549 I've never seen him not sit in his chair before. 169 00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,029 And he didn't take his pants off. 170 00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:36,248 I don't like this one bit. 171 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,076 Hey, Mur-man, wanna pop on the game? 172 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,295 The kids can watch what they want. 173 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,863 Did aliens snatch his body? 174 00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:43,081 I mean, there's so many other bodies to choose from, 175 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,561 it makes no sense. 176 00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:47,085 Hey, buddy. Little worried about ya. 177 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,913 For old time's sake, why don't you kick back in your old chair 178 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,176 and pop off those pants?Ungh. 179 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,222 I can't talk to you with your pants on, Mur! 180 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,093 Open up to me! Let's get those things around your ankles! 181 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,486 Get your hands off me! 182 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,967 I hate Formica Mike. 183 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,012 He's supposed to be a 50-50 partner, 184 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,884 and he never listens to anything I say. 185 00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:04,581 I could tell by your sad, hollow gaze 186 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,104 that this was about a relationship. 187 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,629 I'm not in a relationship with Formica Mike, moron. 188 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,457 It's a business relationship, 189 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,762 and just like any new relationship, 190 00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,329 there's always a lot of kinks to work out. 191 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,418 Geoff's right. It took us a long time 192 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,551 to establish our dynamic of me being me 193 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,727 and Geoff being the bucket I dump all my emotions into. 194 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,816 And what works great for us might not work for you. 195 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,252 The key is communication. 196 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,994 Kid's right. I tell Dolores everything. 197 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,561 Except that I hate her melon soup 198 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,824 and Debra Winger wasn't my high school girlfriend, 199 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,434 though I think she knows. 200 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:34,002 Guys, don't bother. For all his angry bluster, 201 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,047 he's terrible at confrontation. It's hopeless. 202 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,658 Or hope-stuffed. 203 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,487 Barry, no! Don't just appear sucking on something 204 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:41,357 and give your terrible advice. 205 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,794 Is that a foot Popsicle, son? 206 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,796 Also has a gumball inside of it. 207 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:49,147 Point is, there's only one way to destroy a Formica kingdom. 208 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,280 You gotta kill the Formica King. 209 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:54,022 Don't listen to Barry. Tell the King how you're feeling. 210 00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,197 Conquer him with emotional intimacy. 211 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,851 Pick something, Mur! 212 00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,983 I can't stand that your pants are still on! 213 00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:02,030 Let me just pop off that...Leave my pants alone! 214 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:05,250 I'm gonna go and do what Erica's beau says. 215 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,339 He's doing my thing! Although he's yet to learn my name, 216 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,950 so it's kind of a mixed bag for the win. 217 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,082 ADULT ADAM: And so, our dad tried his best 218 00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,519 to open up to his business partner. 219 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:15,043 Hey, Mike, I have some feelings that... 220 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,914 Feelings? What are you, my kids after my first heart attack? 221 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,176 Well, I'd appreciate... 222 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,004 Here's something you'll appreciate! 223 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,310 I got another set of these babies. 224 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,355 Pucker up! 225 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,531 ADULT ADAM: The only thing my dad was ready to kiss 226 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,794 was the Formica King goodbye. 227 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,535 You're gonna help me, uh, 228 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,798 kill the King.Yes! 229 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,843 ADULT ADAM: As my dad and Barry dealt with a problematic partner, 230 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,237 I wasn't the only one who had a problem with my mom. 231 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,499 Principal Ball, you wanted to see me? 232 00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:37,674 In fact, I did. 233 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,024 Dale, press play. Show the boy. 234 00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:42,679 DALE: Okay.ADAM: No Way Out? 235 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,812 Yes way in! 236 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,770 Gene Siskel called it an epic thriller 237 00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,293 with a plot twist for the ages. 238 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,470 And you're in for a bit of a plot twist of your own. 239 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,210 Greetings, class. 240 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:55,213 Kevin Costner turns out to be a Russian spy. The end. 241 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,478 Now, Mr. Woodburn, start teaching your students. 242 00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:01,568 You know, your mother has crossed many lines, 243 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,961 but making us do our jobs is a bridge too far! 244 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,397 Guys, fire her. 245 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,836 Oh, no, you can't just fire Beverly Goldberg. 246 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,360 Yeah, it takes a lot to fire a teacher. Trust me. 247 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,144 She's a blonde whack-a-mole. 248 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,842 She'll just pop right back up somewhere else. 249 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,539 Just find her a job outside the classroom 250 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,801 with no real authority. 251 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:18,672 There's nothing. 252 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,239 Unless... 253 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,807 Unless what? I'm desperate here, man. 254 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:25,983 I got the endothermic process coming up on the syllabus. 255 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,245 I don't know what the [BLEEP] that is! 256 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,378 I could make her Quaker Warden! 257 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,511 Quaker what?It's an archaic position 258 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,904 in charge of enforcing Quaker values. 259 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:37,691 It hasn't been filled in this school for 87 years. 260 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,257 Here is the last one.[BOOK THUMPS LIGHTLY] 261 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:42,347 The late, great Eunice D. Eunice. 262 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,480 Is that a scar on her face?It's a smile. 263 00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,396 But Quaker Warden sounds pretty lofty. 264 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,006 Are you sure you want to give my mom any power? 265 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,052 Here's the genius of it all. 266 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,271 It can take forever to get your certification. 267 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:56,840 She'll be gummed up in Quaker red tape for so long, 268 00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:00,061 all of us will be long dead before she gets in. 269 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,846 Death! The final victory! 270 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,066 I don't know. I think she'll see right through this one. 271 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,677 Whoo-hoo! I'm the Quaker Warden! 272 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,680 Not quite yet. Uh, first, you have to be ordained 273 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:13,422 by the Fellowship of Friends in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. 274 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,119 Oh, that's a bit of a hike. 275 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,947 And then there's the reading of the parchments 276 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:19,080 from the three volumes of the Books of Discipline. 277 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:20,298 And I would find those... 278 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,300 Library of Congress, by appointment only. 279 00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,825 Wow. Well, that's a difficult set of hoops to jump through, 280 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,567 so I better get started. [LAUGHS] 281 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,394 Look out, everybody! 282 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,788 Quaker Warden-elect coming through! 283 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,661 Game. Set. Ball! 284 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,750 ADULT ADAM: At least, that's what we thought, 285 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,622 but Beverly Goldberg always finds a way to get things done. 286 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,147 Good morrow, William Penn. 287 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,628 Newly certified Quaker Warden at your service. 288 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,587 But it's only been one day. 289 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,154 The Quaker Fellowship of Friends was happy to certify me 290 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:51,808 to get me out of their flat, dull hair. 291 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,331 So what happens now? 292 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,681 First order of business, 293 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,726 no gum, chewing wax, or taffy. 294 00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:58,554 [SPITS] 295 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,382 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 296 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,255 I think I might have screwed up. 297 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,866 You think? 298 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,129 That was a fresh piece of Hubba Bubba. 299 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,173 Aaah. 300 00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,744 ADULT ADAM: Principal Ball had tried to reduce my mom's role at school. 301 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,877 Instead, he gave her unlimited power. 302 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:20,228 Hands were intended for prayer, not pockets. 303 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:23,144 Short pantaloons must be one egg above the knee. Go change. 304 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,712 Friend Dave Kim, might I suggest 305 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,931 an activity better for your body and character, 306 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,455 such as a game of Toad in the Middle, 307 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,154 Buttons, Buttons, Buttons, or Please, Mr. Crocodile? 308 00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,721 Those all seem really dated. 309 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:35,852 [SCOFFS] Well, look who thinks 310 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,855 he's better than a boy who lived in 1675. 311 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,422 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 312 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,251 Get thee to class! 313 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,819 ADULT ADAM: Yep, my mom was drunk with Quaker Warden power. 314 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,385 Meanwhile, my brother was showing my dad 315 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,735 how to overpower the King. 316 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,867 Welcome to Revenge 101, 317 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,348 a master class in destroying your enemies. 318 00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:55,176 This is already the greatest regret of my life. 319 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,700 All comments will be taken after the presentation. 320 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:58,875 Just get to it. 321 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,182 Lesson One. Get BUFF. 322 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793 But that would take a lifetime of diet and exercise 323 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,013 and a zest for life that your father clearly doesn't have.[CHALK SCRAPING] 324 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,188 Yeah, yeah, yeah, what he said. 325 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,277 No, the "B" is for "Bother." 326 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,626 Sure, teach what you know. 327 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,846 The "U" is for "Undermine." 328 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,543 You need to spread gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip. 329 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,764 Is he a genius or a halfwit? I can't tell. 330 00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:20,462 "F" is for "Fibbing." A gentle lie can work wonders. 331 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,247 Get to the last "F" so I can go back up to my chair. 332 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,989 And the final "F," of course, is for "F.L.O.R.F." 333 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,688 Sakes alive! Is that an acronym within an acronym? 334 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,516 Please, I don't even know what an acronym is. 335 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,909 All right, I'm pulling the plug on this. 336 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,172 My anger for Formica Mike clouded my judgment. 337 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,131 So, you'll try talking to him again? 338 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,786 Nah, but I do have a plan to get rid of those couches for good. 339 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:40,961 Come on, Bill, let's go. 340 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,092 Clear a hole! 341 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,572 Yeah, Bar, we're out, too, 342 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,705 you know, because this just made us stupider. 343 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,445 ADULT ADAM: While my dad was through listening to Barry, 344 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,057 we had no choice but to listen to my mom. 345 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,581 BEVERLY: [ON SPEAKERS] Good morrow, William Penn. [ CHUCKLES] 346 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,323 'Tis I, Friend Beverly, your Quaker Warden, 347 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,673 with a few quick announcements. 348 00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:00,371 You may have noticed I've instructed lunch lady Doris 349 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:03,113 to replace all rice pudding with a nutrient-rich muesli. 350 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:04,549 Yummy! 351 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,464 Also, Senior Skip Day is canceled. 352 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,336 What?No Skip Day? 353 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,294 Dude, you have to do something about your mom. 354 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:11,731 This Quaker stuff is out of control. 355 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:12,993 I know, Dave Kim. 356 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,646 She said if I got one more demerit, 357 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,823 I have to do something called a "public butter churn." 358 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,347 I know, JC Spink. And I know, Corbett. 359 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,479 I didn't say anything.I know! 360 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,265 Instead, we'll be reinstating the hallowed tradition 361 00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,789 of the Quaker morning meeting. [CHUCKLES] 362 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,879 A time to reflect individually and as a community. 363 00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,968 Self-examination? I don't want to know 364 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,230 what's going on below my surface. 365 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,841 You're a dead man. 366 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,581 He's been my lifelong friend, but I'll hold his arms. 367 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,889 Guys, nobody has more issues with my mom than me. 368 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,456 But also no one's better equipped to handle her. 369 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,285 Fine. You have 33 hours. 370 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,287 Seems like an arbitrary time frame, but let's do it. 371 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,158 ADULT ADAM: As the clock was ticking, 372 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:50,813 it was time for my dad's plan to use Bill as a fake customer. 373 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,684 Hello, strange furniture men. 374 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,686 I'm interested in purchasing a couch, 375 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,471 and I don't know anyone that works in this store. 376 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:57,994 I got this, Mur. 377 00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,083 Sir, you're gonna buy this beauty. 378 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:01,563 But that couch is dumb, and I hate it. 379 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,347 Who'd want to sit on a mouth? 380 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,741 Are you familiar with television bad boy Richard Grieco? 381 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,395 Grieco's got a mouth couch?He does. 382 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,570 I'm suddenly intrigued. 383 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,050 Are you sure? I'd think about that. 384 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,921 Scratch that. I have no interest 385 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,097 in how 21 Jump Street's Officer Booker 386 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:15,620 spends his lazy afternoons. 387 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,797 Well, I have something more traditional, 388 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,102 something that a lot of people like. 389 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,930 Unh-unh, not so fast. 390 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,280 Sir, follow me, and park your keister on this kisser. 391 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,456 I don't think... Wow. 392 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,632 That's a lot more comfort than I expected. 393 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,634 It's so fun and red. 394 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,158 Well, uh, if you like Mr. Red, 395 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,551 then you'll like his best friend, Mr. Brown. 396 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:36,424 Come on over here and check out this corduroy beauty. 397 00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,643 You seem to me like you have a beautiful woman in your life. 398 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,210 One with gorgeous lips. 399 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,299 Dolores does have a sensational smoocher. 400 00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,432 Wouldn't this piece be a testament 401 00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:47,652 to your beautiful Dolores and her magnificent lips? 402 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,958 Man, I just came in here 403 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:51,395 looking for a place to park in front of the tube, 404 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,702 but you've made this red lip couch come to life with meaning. 405 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:56,357 I feel like you came in here with one couch in mind, 406 00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:57,837 and you should probably stick to that. 407 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,229 Here's what I'm gonna do, 408 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,927 and this is only because I like you. Half-off. 409 00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,102 Wow, that's a hell of a bargain! 410 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:03,973 You want a bargain? 411 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,323 I'll give you anything in the store for free 412 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,672 if you just leave now. 413 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,458 Hey, Billy Boy, what are you doing here? 414 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:11,807 You come to visit Mur? 415 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,896 What? I don't know anybody that works here. 416 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,594 I'm just a man off the street 417 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:18,683 who's wildly opposed to anatomical couches. 418 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,816 Good day. 419 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:21,904 All right, what's going on here? 420 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:23,384 [SNAPS FINGERS] I think I got it. 421 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,821 Mur used his buddy to make you look dumb, 422 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:28,389 but Bill crumbled under the pressure, 423 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,391 and now Murray feels like the dumb one. 424 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,175 [LAUGHS] Good for you. 425 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,003 I used an elaborate plan 426 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,526 to tell you how much I hate these couches, 427 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:36,745 and suddenly it's good for me? 428 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,181 Please, we're salesmen. 429 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:39,748 If we ain't lyin', we ain't livin'. 430 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:43,186 Fine. Well, then here's something that's not a lie. 431 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,276 I hate these couches, and I'm not gonna sell them anymore. 432 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,497 Fine. As soon as we sell the 20 I just ordered, then we'll see. 433 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,629 No, no, no, no, we're supposed to be partners. 434 00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,980 Exactly. Even split. 435 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,286 Everything decided together. But I'm not budging an inch. 436 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,201 Then I will. I quit. 437 00:14:58,375 --> 00:14:59,681 Quit? What are you talking about? 438 00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:02,249 You know what? You never hear anything that I say, 439 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:05,513 so now you can have this whole kingdom to yourself. 440 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,994 ADULT ADAM: Finally, my dad came clean to the King. 441 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:11,519 As for me, I was ready to tell my mom she was ruining my life. 442 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,303 Good morrow, Schmoopie. 443 00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:16,002 I've fixed you a hale and hearty breakfast of salt pork, 444 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,655 hardtack biscuits, and buttermilk. 445 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,963 Yeah, as much as I love things I can't swallow, 446 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,487 can you please stop with this Quaker nonsense? 447 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:26,012 Because of you, we lost Senior Skip Day. 448 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,318 Well, you know what's better than blowing off school? 449 00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:30,581 Blowing off steam by expressing your feelings 450 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,670 during a Quaker morning meeting. [CHUCKLES] 451 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,368 You and your friends are gonna love it. 452 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,023 What friends? Everyone hates me now because of you. 453 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,373 But friendship is the cornerstone of Quakering. 454 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,810 I'm gonna fix this. 455 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,551 ADULT ADAM: Or she'd make it much, much worse. 456 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,945 Welcome to our first Quaker morning meeting, 457 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,947 where we will share our thoughts 458 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,819 with openness and honesty. I'll start. 459 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:51,994 Adam, please stand up. 460 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,387 Show off your perfect face 461 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:54,866 and well-proportioned frame. 462 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:59,784 Okay, hey. Unfortunately, I'm Adam. 463 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:00,916 Now tell the rest of the school 464 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:01,873 what pieces of [BLEEP] they are. 465 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,353 Unacceptable. 466 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,007 Okay, you want honesty? Here's some. 467 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,878 I hate your stupid Quaker rules! 468 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,838 I know change is hard, but soon you'll all come to love 469 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,710 these time-honored, highly restrictive traditions. 470 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,365 No, we won't. If I can't make out in the hallway, 471 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,194 in the classroom, or in the gym, where would I make out? 472 00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:20,631 My car? [SCOFFS] Oh, yeah. 473 00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,111 And if God didn't want me wearing skirts, 474 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,983 he wouldn't have given me a smokin'-hot bod. 475 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:26,115 And how can a turtleneck be too risque? 476 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,508 I haven't seen my own neck in years! 477 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,814 And we need lacrosse back! 478 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,947 There's no scholarships for the game of apple catch. 479 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,644 Although I'm sick at it. 480 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:34,994 But giving up all that stuff 481 00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:38,040 focuses the mind on what's really important, 482 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,999 friendship, community, family, charity. 483 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,478 Charity? 484 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:42,697 Here's something for free. 485 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,090 Nobody wants you here! 486 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,221 Okay, that's quite enough. 487 00:16:45,395 --> 00:16:47,528 Quite enough of you! 488 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:50,270 Principal Ball gave you this job so you'd get lost, 489 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,402 not come back and ruin all our lives! 490 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,578 Please, he made me the Quaker Warden 491 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,320 as a reward for my commitment to this school over the years. 492 00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:58,669 Right, Friend Ball? 493 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:01,281 Uh, the boy nailed it. It was the "get lost" thing. 494 00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,327 ♪♪♪♪ 495 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:05,459 BEVERLY: I see. 496 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:06,634 I'll save you the trouble. 497 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,028 [SLOW HAND CLAPPING] 498 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,203 Really? 499 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,814 No one? 500 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:13,597 Well, I'm not gonna stop. 501 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:22,084 ADULT ADAM: Thanks to me, my mother's reign as Quaker Warden was over, 502 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,043 but the pain of that rejection was just settling in. 503 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,044 Hey. 504 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:27,350 I just wanted to say... 505 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,221 No. 506 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,443 You don't have to say anything. 507 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,881 I get it. Once again, Beverly Goldberg has screwed up your life. 508 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,796 I mean, you did lean into the Quaker stuff pretty hard. 509 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:39,710 I know. 510 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,063 This school hasn't just been a part of your life, 511 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,890 it's been a huge part of mine. 512 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:50,939 I was so excited about having a permanent place here 513 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,288 that I kinda went overboard. 514 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:53,159 Kinda? 515 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,640 I just can't believe our time here is ending. 516 00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,641 It is. 517 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,297 But that's okay. 518 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:05,997 I mean, everyone graduates, even parents. 519 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:09,218 But what's not okay is you taking away my senior year. 520 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,742 It's supposed to be the best time of my life. 521 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:12,265 You gotta let me have it. 522 00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,312 Guess the Quakers weren't wrong about honesty. 523 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:17,661 You have no idea. 524 00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,490 Come with me. 525 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,971 [VOICE BREAKING] Mr. Woodburn, you taught me a lot about chemistry, 526 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,494 but even more about being a man. 527 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:25,887 I love ya, fella. 528 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,542 [SOBS] 529 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,674 [CRYING] Y-You have no idea how much that means to me. 530 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,372 You... You kids are my life. 531 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:33,851 What the hell is this? 532 00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,897 Pure, unadulterated honesty. 533 00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:36,898 And it's beautiful. 534 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,813 Here goes nothing. 535 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:41,642 Sydney, since second grade, I've been in love with you. 536 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,252 Say you'll give us a chance. 537 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:46,473 In that same spirit of honesty, I have no idea who you are. 538 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:49,476 It's been incredible. 539 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,000 Except for Dave Kim. I mean, that was really brutal. 540 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,263 [SIGHING] Oh.But for the rest us, 541 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,092 uh, there's just so much catharsis and relief. 542 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,181 Maybe we've been missing some of the traditions 543 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,270 that make our school special. 544 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,230 Are you telling me you want me to stay on as Quaker Warden? 545 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,362 Oh, well... Well, I don't think anyone want... 546 00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,408 I accept. I un-resign.I... I don't... 547 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:09,800 Oh, no. Mom... 548 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:11,846 Don't worry, Schmoo, I got this. 549 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:15,980 Attention! Your Quaker Warden has an important announcement! 550 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,678 Senior Skip Day is back on![38 SPECIAL'S HOLD ON LOOSELY PLAYING] 551 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,158 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 552 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,725 ADULT ADAM: That day, thanks to my mom, 553 00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,424 we learned honesty could bring us all closer together. 554 00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:26,034 Sometimes you just have to be brave enough 555 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,209 to take the first step. 556 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,733 It's me! Formica Mike! 557 00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,387 MURRAY: I already hate whatever this is. 558 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,823 Thanks for stopping by.W-w-w-w-wait. 559 00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:35,348 I, uh... 560 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:36,175 I got something to say. ♪♪ You see it all around you ♪♪ 561 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,351 Then say it!Well, it's difficult. 562 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:41,528 How is it difficult? You're always jabbering on and on, 563 00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,660 talking over me, never listening to a word I say. 564 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,445 It's because I'm insecure. 565 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,535 You're insecure? You wear a crown all day. 566 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,277 Years ago, I created this persona, okay, 567 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:54,062 Formica Mike, the King, okay? And it worked. 568 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,369 W-What are you trying to say? 569 00:19:56,543 --> 00:20:00,373 I'm trying to say that I'm just a schmuck with a plastic crown! 570 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:03,071 Please.Why do you think I wanted to partner with you? 571 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,247 With your business acumen and my pizzazz, 572 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,510 w-we're unstoppable. 573 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,120 Except you don't listen to...To a word you say? 574 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,035 You... There I go again. 575 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,733 See, that's my problem. 576 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:15,344 But starting now, I'm gonna be better. 577 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:18,173 I guess I could do, uh, better, too, 578 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:19,696 you know, telling you how I feel. 579 00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,307 Yeah, it wasn't the best. 580 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,004 But I'll tell you what could be. 581 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,745 ♪♪ But don't let go ♪♪You come in tomorrow, 582 00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,747 we work this thing out together, okay? What do you say? 583 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,488 I say I'll see you tomorrow. 584 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,316 There you go! Come on! 585 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,448 Skin on skin, huh? [LAUGHS] 586 00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:34,668 That's how you solve stuff! 587 00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,147 ADULT ADAM: Sometimes, we take even our most cherished relationships 588 00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:37,758 for granted. 589 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,150 Still, it's important to remember 590 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:42,806 that no matter how close you are, things change. 591 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,548 And those bonds get tested again and again. 592 00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:48,116 But with a little heavy lifting and good communication, 593 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,770 there's no reason 594 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,033 you can't succeed beyond your wildest dreams. 595 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,209 ♪♪ But don't let go ♪♪ 596 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:55,819 ♪♪♪♪ 597 00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,475 [DING] 598 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:01,651 [DING] 599 00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:08,049 Isn't this fun? 600 00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:09,180 It's certainly red. 601 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:10,965 Oh, hell, yes! 602 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:12,271 Wait, you got one, too? 603 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,142 Great minds. 604 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,100 What the hell are you gonna do with two pairs of lips? 605 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,407 BOTH: Make-out sesh! 606 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:21,149 [EXHALES SHARPLY]Ooh, your lips are so pillowy. 607 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:23,151 I'm never gonna vacuum under you. 608 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,414 I wanna lay on you all day and read. 609 00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:27,024 I'm never gonna be okay again.BARRY: Mwah! Mwah! 610 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,330 Mwah!Why?