1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:02,770 Back in the '80s, I loved 2 00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:05,739 "The Greatest American Hero," in which an encounter 3 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,375 with aliens causes schoolteacher Ralph Hinkley 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,610 to reluctantly lead a double life. 5 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,879 What a perfectly realized premise! 6 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,781 Of all the people to get superpowers, 7 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,883 a mild-mannered guy! 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,353 Maybe his ordinariness is his superpower. 9 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,122 Either way, these are definitely questions 10 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,590 the show wants us to be asking. 11 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,593 Of course, in my world, there was only one curly blond, 12 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,795 garishly costumed superhero. We're closing. 13 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,131 My beautiful boy needs a pair of acid-washed jeans, 14 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,132 and he needs them right now. 15 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,600 I have demands. 16 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,103 You're gonna give Erica a solo, or it's your ass. 17 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,570 Nothing could stop her from getting what 18 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,039 she and her family sort of deserved. 19 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,143 Change the grade. 20 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,611 Change the... Oh, that's nice. 21 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,446 Unfortunately, I hadn't inherited 22 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,516 my mom's superpower of being super-pushy. 23 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,418 I wanted to rent Lethal Weapon, 24 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,953 but you accidentally gave me Lethal Seduction. 25 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,188 Welcome to adulthood. 26 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,157 I was hoping I could get a refund? 27 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,725 No. Okey-doke. 28 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,460 Unacceptable! Everyone's in trouble! 29 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:00,828 Erica and Barry, on the other hand, 30 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,030 welcomed all kinds of conflict. 31 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:06,400 This is what's gonna happen. We're getting 10 free rentals. 32 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,169 And that life-size cardboard cutout 33 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,403 of offbeat hunk Judd Nelson. You know what? 34 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,604 Make it two Judd Nelsons 35 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,306 and all the Haagen-Dazs in the freezer. 36 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,541 I can't do that. 37 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,609 Mr. West Coast Video? 38 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,179 You're about to be super upset! 39 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,981 Fine. If you just leave, you can have everything. 40 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,316 Adam, grab our Judds. 41 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,985 Sorry, Nolan. For your trouble. 42 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,554 Yep, unlike my siblings, 43 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,123 the last thing I wanted was any confrontation. 44 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,359 Oh, man! Lasagna. 45 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,195 Even more delicious layers than a Nora Ephron script. 46 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,198 The love of lasagna's the one thing Garfield gets right. 47 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,966 Hit me, Helen. Gimme a sec. 48 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,134 It's the last piece on the tray, 49 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,202 and she's fighting me. 50 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,336 Oh, yeah. 51 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,438 Um, if it's no trouble, 52 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,408 I'd rather have a nice, steamy piece from that new tray. 53 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,576 And I'd rather have 10 toes 54 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,878 that all point in the same direction. 55 00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,112 God hates us both, I guess. 56 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,384 Good luck with your podiatry issues. 57 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:58,686 I love lasagna. 58 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,321 Adam, what did you get? 59 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,622 Is that a charred baseball glove? 60 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,391 That was left on a desert highway 61 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,125 where it was pummeled by a convoy? 62 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,227 I get it! 63 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,028 My lasagna doesn't look like yours. 64 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,398 Mmm! Beefy goodness. Golden perfection. 65 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,566 Good for you! And why are you guys even here? 66 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,901 I don't have class on Tuesdays, 67 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,503 so I come here for Jenkintown's 68 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,871 best kept secret, high school lasagna. 69 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,473 I do have class on Tuesdays, 70 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,074 but for the first time ever, Barry is correct. 71 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,443 What the hell's this? 72 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,212 Adam, why is most of your family here? 73 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,013 I am the Quaker Warden. 74 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,248 It's a ceremonial position 75 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,517 with unlimited power. 76 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,019 For example, my fully grown children 77 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,722 are able to come here and eat whatever they want. 78 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,290 Schmoopie, go up and get 79 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:38,859 a new piece of lasagna that's as delicious as you are. 80 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,528 Ma, I just don't want to bother Helen. 81 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,930 She's having a bad day. And life. 82 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,698 Ow! 83 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,568 The little, crusty barbs don't soften in the mouth! 84 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,437 I know the Heimlich! No, Barry. I'm not choking. 85 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:50,804 No, I wouldn't... No. Barry... 86 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,573 You can expect some broken ribs! 87 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,042 ** I'm twisted up inside 88 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,711 ** But nonetheless I feel the need to say 89 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,216 ** I don't know the future 90 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:05,118 ** But the past keeps getting clearer every day 91 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,120 It was February 24th, 1980-something, 92 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,589 and my dad and Vic were having 93 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,591 a deep, meaningful conversation. 94 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,460 What do you got between your bread today, man? 95 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,994 I don't care. 96 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,763 And that scintillating back-and-forth 97 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,798 was pretty much their lunch every day... Hey, guys! 98 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,767 ...until Formica Mike joined the team. 99 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,769 What do you say you guys put down those sad sammies, 100 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,304 we head over to China Garden? 101 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,972 Well, I've been trying to get Murray over there 102 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,074 ever since they opened, but, but he says it's too far. 103 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,141 It's three blocks away! 104 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,076 We're saying the same thing. 105 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,478 Aw, come on, Mur. 106 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,145 My periodontist says it's great. 107 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,481 They got pandas 108 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,748 all over the wall! 109 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:35,916 I'll pull the Fleetwood around. 110 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,084 Let's eat, Mur. 111 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,819 Yeah, I'd like to, but, unfortunately, 112 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,721 I pulled the footrest out on this La-Z-Boy. 113 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:41,789 But you clearly haven't. 114 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,958 My mistake. 115 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,827 But it turns out Vic and Formica Mike 116 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,329 shared more than moo shu. 117 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,163 Oh! You missed it, Mur. 118 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:51,599 Look at the length of this egg roll. 119 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,401 Is this an elephant's trunk or what? 120 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,536 Yeah, yeah, yeah, big food. Where's Vic? 121 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,338 Gave him the rest of the day off. He needed some Vic time. 122 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,506 Vic time? Why? 123 00:03:58,639 --> 00:03:59,940 Well, it's that daughter of his. 124 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,174 Little Vicky? Asha. 125 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,943 What is she? About 7 now? Seventeen. 126 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,813 You didn't let me finish. Teen. 127 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,615 Yeah, she's going off to college, and he's just... 128 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,352 He's having a hard time knowing that his, 129 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,753 his little girl's leaving forever. 130 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,289 I'm just surprised that you're telling me and not Vic. 131 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,624 I think this is less about 132 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,459 my relationship with Vic and more about yours. 133 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,161 Look, Pete Rose could hit a double with this thing! 134 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,663 Boom! 135 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,132 As my dad realized Vic was a mystery to him, 136 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,201 I had no clue what my mom was about to hit me with. 137 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,670 Adam, I'm concerned. 138 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,306 Gah! My body's bigger, so I need longer showers! 139 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,374 It's just math. 140 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,242 I have failed you. 141 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,978 You are a sweet, kind, patient boy, 142 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,980 and I have no one but myself to blame. 143 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,148 What are you saying? 144 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,484 I think your mom's implying you're a doormat. 145 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,253 Ding-ding-ding! After your sad lasagna incident, 146 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,055 I realized I'm not always gonna be there 147 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,090 to fight your fights for you. 148 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,360 There's gonna be hours, sometimes entire afternoons 149 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,861 where you're all alone. 150 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,129 We have very different visions of my future. 151 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,166 Every Goldberg child must learn to fend for himself. 152 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,068 The world's job is to bend 153 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,203 and often break to my will. 154 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,906 You have to take what's yours, and also what's not. 155 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,876 It's time to teach my coddled baby not to be a pushover. 156 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,511 Or we could all 157 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,381 just leave the gentle, kind-hearted child alone. 158 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,849 No! Here are some phrases you'll need. 159 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,951 "I'd like to speak to your manager," 160 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,821 "The sign says 'closed,' but the light is on," 161 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,990 and, "You can't prove this wasn't on the sale rack." 162 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,257 Those seem pretty horrible. 163 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,426 Now you're getting it! 164 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,028 And don't be afraid to use 165 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,563 the environment around you. 166 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:30,998 Stomp, toss stuff, 167 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,199 knock things over. 168 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,767 I like to swing my emotions around. 169 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,235 One moment, I'm gently pleading. 170 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,237 The next, I'm on the ground crying and kicking security. 171 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,039 Practice scenario. 172 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,642 You're in a clothing store, and Barry is the owner. 173 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,311 Not clothing. It's a BMX store 174 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,514 owned by my character, Spokes Driscoll, 175 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,049 but my real dream is to overcome the issues 176 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,551 that got me kicked off the circuit. 177 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,620 You're gonna give him that long of a creative leash? 178 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,054 It adds color. 179 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,924 Now, you are returning a BMX-icle that you've used 180 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,192 for six years, and you want a full refund. 181 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,260 Go. 182 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,229 Ugh! Fine. 183 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,665 Excuse me. Mr. Driscoll? 184 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,468 Name's Spokes. And we're closed. 185 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,802 Well, when are you open? 186 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,070 For one second a day. 187 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,739 What? That just seems like a bad business plan! 188 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,441 No one criticizes 189 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,743 Spokes Driscoll's business acumen! 190 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,377 Do you even know who I am? 191 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,146 A loose cannon named Spokes Driscoll? 192 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:20,280 He got it in one. 193 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,749 Now to crank up the difficulty, 194 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,351 Erica has cut in front of you. 195 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,653 I thought the place was closed. 196 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,755 Come any closer, and I'll mace you, perv! 197 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,490 I was just standing here! Hey! 198 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:33,093 Local deviant. Are you bothering this nice lady? 199 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,463 Spokes' Pool Tables and Bikes might be closed, 200 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,765 but I'm open to kicking your butt. 201 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,700 You sell pool tables now, too? 202 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,770 Excuse me. Are you the owner of that AMC Pacer out front? 203 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,105 Oh, please say I'm not. You are. 204 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,375 I'm attractive local meter maid Isabella Bianco, 205 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,311 and I'm gonna haul that pile of junk to the impound lot 206 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:54,114 if you don't pay my bribe, a thousand kissies. 207 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,348 Ah. 208 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,518 The Italian meter maid wants to nuzzle me? 209 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,687 Am I the only one losing the thread? 210 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,022 Mmm. Try to follow this. The police are on their way, 211 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,324 and you messed with the wrong lady buying a pool table! 212 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,959 Whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo! 213 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,895 No! Maybe I should come back tomorrow? 214 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,797 No. Tomorrow, we're closed forever. 215 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,298 I'm going back to the circuit! 216 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,502 The BMX tribunal retested my blood. I'm clean, baby. 217 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:15,803 Good for you, Barry. 218 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,871 I feel like Spokes really needed a win. 219 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,372 And, scene! 220 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,975 Oh! Chills. 221 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,111 Adam, how do you think you did? 222 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,979 Uh, pretty decent, given the situation. 223 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,414 You did crap. 224 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,149 You really did. You suck, bro. 225 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,152 Well, you know what? all of you! 226 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,355 That's right! all of you and your dumb faces! 227 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,828 And that, my Schmoo, 228 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,397 is a great first step in finding your voice! 229 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:45,933 Oh, my gosh! Yeah. 230 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,735 Let's have ice cream. Whoo! 231 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,402 While I was finding my way, 232 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:52,005 my dad was still feeling a bit lost. 233 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,575 Mur, you've barely touched your third helping of tater bombs. 234 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,209 What's wrong? 235 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,046 If you had something going on, you'd tell me about it, right? 236 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,615 Depends. Is there anybody else in the world? I'm being serious. 237 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:04,484 Mur, I love you like a tick loves a hound, 238 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,253 but a listener you are not. 239 00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,755 There are things you haven't told me? 240 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,389 So many. Like what? 241 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,559 I hold two boomerang world records. 242 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,627 I was an Admiral in the Coast Guard. 243 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,229 Last year, I found a third nipple on my shoulder. 244 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,865 I love birds. 245 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,667 They can fly! 246 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,468 That's God's best magic trick. 247 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,036 Well, you could've told me. Not that nonsense about 248 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,205 the third nipple, but, you know, about birds. 249 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,439 I love fried chicken. 250 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,809 I've tried, but the moment I start sharing 251 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,611 is the moment you stop caring. 252 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,381 Not anymore. From now on, I'm gonna be there for my friend. 253 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,216 Music to my ears. 254 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,252 Tomorrow, I'm having an elective procedure on my shoulder. 255 00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,854 Where you going? 256 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:43,023 I'm gonna go be there for my friend Vic. I just told you. 257 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:47,094 Hey, Vic. Any, uh, emotional stuff 258 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,196 you want to get off your chest about your kid 259 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,899 or is everything okay and I can be on my way? 260 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,801 What's happening now? 261 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,202 I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk. 262 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,105 You know, you and me talking. But if... Either/or. 263 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,140 You talk, not talk. It's good with me. 264 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,442 Hey, Vic. What do you say we go over to Mahmoud's 265 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,644 for some fattoush? 266 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:04,912 I don't know what it is, 267 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,614 but they say it's the best in the city. 268 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,849 Oh, wonderful. The culinary trip continues. 269 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,283 Great! Mur, what do you say? 270 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,954 Nah, I'm good. I'm good. You guys seem to have it down. 271 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,089 Have a good time. It's your loss, because 272 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,726 the falafel, they're as big as volleyballs! 273 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,928 You don't dip them in the hummus. You spike 'em! 274 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,429 Come on, let's go! 275 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,331 While my dad couldn't connect with Vic, 276 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,466 I was trying to connect with my inner Beverly. 277 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,802 You have it in you to get the lasagna you deserve. 278 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,537 Now make your mama proud. 279 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,642 Hello, Helen. I'd like some lasagna. 280 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,943 From the middle, please. 281 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,145 Sorry. Middle's for the pretty people. 282 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,047 In that moment, I decided 283 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,115 I wasn't going to be a doormat forever. 284 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,851 So I dug deep and deployed 285 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,452 one of my mom's favorite phrases. 286 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,721 I'd like to speak to your manager. 287 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,790 Is there a problem, Mr. Goldberg? 288 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,659 There is, Principal Ball. 289 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,361 I eat here every day, and, consistently, 290 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,496 Helen serves me the lasagna dregs. 291 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,365 I appreciate you pointing that out. 292 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,467 Rest assured I will do nothing about it. 293 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,869 Then I will. 294 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,904 Dave Kim, are you still on the school paper? 295 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,339 Yes. I have a weekly humor column. 296 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,309 It's a sardonic look at high school called "Kim's Whims." 297 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,477 Everyone hates it. 298 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,913 So you could write a scathing expose about 299 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,448 how this institution discriminates against students 300 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,550 of the nerd variety? 301 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,086 Negative press? 302 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,689 I've seen the movies. Nerds are vengeful. 303 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,124 And, Brea! You're popular, yes? 304 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,426 I'm not lacking in social capital. 305 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,029 So you could tell the cool kids to eat somewhere else? 306 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,398 Where the cool kids go, everyone goes! 307 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,934 Oh, sir, please, no. We value your business. 308 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:37,004 Then earn it, or I'll make a scene so insane, 309 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,639 it'll make Beverly Goldberg seem reasonable! 310 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,710 Get this fine gentleman two center-cut pieces. 311 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,044 Yes! 312 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,178 Sorry for the inconvenience, sir. 313 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,581 Next time, ask for me by name. Earl. 314 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,183 Oh... 315 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,752 Did I get a good piece? 316 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,053 I blacked out there for a while. 317 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,188 Schmoo, you got the best piece. 318 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,758 And even better than that, you got my powers! 319 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,431 My dad realized he needed to be a better friend to Vic, 320 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,399 so he turned to an expert on the subject. 321 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,201 Hey, Mr. G. Don't mind me. 322 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,203 I'm just waiting for the ol' ball and chain, 323 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,205 a.k.a. your daughter. I struggle with small talk. 324 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,274 But you're good with big talk, right? 325 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,843 Well, if you mean compassion and understanding, 326 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:16,944 then, yeah, I'm your fella. 327 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,045 Cop a squat. Come on. 328 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,213 Wow. Is this an overture of friendship? 329 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,149 You know, I always pictured us on a horseback trail ride 330 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,251 or building a log cabin together, but I'll take it. 331 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,020 Yes, horses and logs. 332 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,557 What does it take to be a good friend? 333 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,725 Well, there's more than one thing. 334 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,226 This is becoming a hassle. 335 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,461 The first step is listening. 336 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,064 All right. Hit me with your first step! 337 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,933 I just did, but here's a technique that might also help. 338 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,468 Uh, echoing. Echoing? 339 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:42,635 See? You're a natural. 340 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,171 Why are you making this so difficult? 341 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,405 Pretend we're best bros. 342 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,808 That's a big ask, but let's do it. 343 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:48,942 Share something that troubles you. 344 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,811 Nope. Off to a slow start. 345 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,346 But here's another sure-fire tip to make someone know you care. 346 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,882 Give the perfect gift. 347 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,716 Listening and giving gifts. 348 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,584 What are we married? 349 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,286 Ugh! 350 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,888 The worst day ever! 351 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,722 I'm listening, Bar. Tell your amigo Geoff what's wrong. 352 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,457 Nobody signed my petition 353 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:07,094 to make nunchucking an Olympic sport! 354 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,097 Now I'll have to win gold at something dumb, like swimming. 355 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,932 So nobody signed your petition, 356 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,767 and now your only Olympic hope is dumb swimming. 357 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,668 You get it. 358 00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,305 My dismay is subsiding 'cause I feel super heard right now. 359 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,807 Maybe this will also help. 360 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:21,842 "Hang in There!"? 361 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,110 I saw it and thought of you. 362 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,345 'Cause I'm like the jacked kitten 363 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,015 whose perseverance will inevitably be rewarded! 364 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,650 Thanks, Geoff! You're a great friend. 365 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,822 And that's how it's done. 366 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,024 As my dad was buying into Geoff's advice, 367 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,126 my new powers of being impossibly difficult 368 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,294 had made me unstoppable. 369 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,096 I'm sorry. I was next. 370 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,332 Congratulations. You're still next. 371 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,567 I picked my movie from the "Staff Picks" section. 372 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,470 Tell Brad P. from Allentown to get his eyes and ears checked, 373 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,873 'cause this movie sucks! 374 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,541 Sure, it took a while for me to find my voice, 375 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,310 but I was finally a nightmare. 376 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,212 Goldberg! What the hell are you doing? 377 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,548 Just taking a load off at my new desk. 378 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,183 Oh, no, no, no. That's mine. 379 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,118 That's where I keep my papers and my gum. 380 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,888 Not anymore, unless you want me to speak to your manager. 381 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,156 Oh, Earl! 382 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,091 Hi. 383 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,726 It seems that young Goldberg has learned how to harness 384 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,163 his disgruntlement much like his mother. 385 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,265 So let the boy sit where he wants. 386 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,133 Smart choice. Damn it! 387 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:23,170 Yep, for better or worse, I had all my mom's powers, 388 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,938 and it was awesome! 389 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,740 'Sup, fools? A phone without wires? 390 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,476 More like a future without limits! 391 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,978 And why do you have it, exactly? 392 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,380 The Radio Shack manager gave it to me 393 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,115 to stop threatening legal action when they kept me 394 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,085 waiting in line to buy batteries. Nice, huh? 395 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,519 Actually, that's kinda gross, Adam. 396 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,255 I miss the old version of you, the spineless guy who was weak 397 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,391 and unintimidating and barely landed Brea. 398 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,725 He has a good point. 399 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:46,860 Just a sec. 400 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,195 Go for Goldie. 401 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,098 Forget 'em. They can't grasp our powers. 402 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,366 You'll lose many important relationships along the way. 403 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,268 Like my girlfriend and best pal? 404 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,603 Just a sec. 405 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:57,737 You got Gold. 406 00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,906 It's a small price to pay for always 407 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,373 getting what you're entitled to. 408 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,575 Didn't you guys graduate like three years ago? 409 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,777 Come on, Adam. Leave these phoneless drips, okay? 410 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:08,215 We're gonna go enjoy the spoils of your newfound powers. 411 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,017 Wow! I have a feeling these cellphones 412 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,085 are gonna change people for the better. 413 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,321 While Barry and Erica kept me on the path to being pushy, 414 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,223 my dad was ready to pull out 415 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,358 some of Geoff's signature moves. 416 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,727 So, Vic, what you got happenin'? 417 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,429 First, there was listening. 418 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,297 Do I have bok choy in my 'stache or something? 419 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:27,267 I'm just listening, like I always do. 420 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,937 We were chatting about father-daughter stuff. 421 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,371 Then he echoed. 422 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,406 Chattin' about father-daughter stuff. 423 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,975 That's what I just said. 424 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,509 Yeah, yeah, that's what you just said. 425 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,945 Why are you repeating everything I say? 426 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,080 Why am I repeating everything you say? 427 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,150 I don't know, and it's making me wildly uncomfortable. 428 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,618 When none of that worked, he gifted. 429 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,121 You know, when my kids went off to college, 430 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,758 someone gave me a Penn sweatshirt, 431 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,261 and I want to do the same for you. 432 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,263 What is this? MIKE Arizona State! 433 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,465 Nice! America's number-one party school. 434 00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,832 But Asha's going to Dartmouth. 435 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,334 Swing and a miss. 436 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,603 Those two institutions are not alike. 437 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,273 And I'm the one who gave you the Penn sweatshirt. 438 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,141 Are you sure? Yeah, I 00:15:10,010 Vic, I'm trying here. 440 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,278 Oh, you're trying? 441 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,346 What's my daughter's name? 442 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,086 Mmm-hmm. Exactly. 443 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,520 And where's she going to college? 444 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,023 Oh, come on! We just said it! You got this, Mur! 445 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,857 It starts with a "Z." 446 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,526 No school starts with "Z"! 447 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,927 This is why I don't tell you anything, Mur, 448 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,796 because you don't listen! 449 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,897 And what's worse, 450 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600 you can't even pretend to care. 451 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,905 It was Dartmouth. It's a good school. 452 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,807 You know, Dr. Seuss went there. 453 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,343 Turns out communication was my dad's kryptonite 454 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,046 but my superpower had no weakness. 455 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,681 Except this. Oh, no. 456 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,718 An adult leaving their workplace with a box of personal effects? 457 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,853 Movies and TV have taught me that can only mean one thing. 458 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,822 Yeah, they canned me. 459 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,325 Hope you liked your "edible lasagna." 460 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,860 I did, but not like this. I'll fix this. 461 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,299 Poopy, what's wrong? You're all flustered and worked up. 462 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,435 Wait. Is this a prom-posal? 463 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,702 Are we going? Is this happening? 464 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,371 What? Never! 465 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,340 Your loss. You'll never see the dress 466 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,175 I picked out that matches your eyes. 467 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,044 Enough! They fired Helen. 468 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,112 Oh, that's a shame. That's it? 469 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,748 A full-grown lady lost her livelihood because of me. 470 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,851 Not because of you. She wasn't doing her job well. 471 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,519 It's terrible, but it happens. 472 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,421 You know, I used to think you were like Ralph Hinkley. 473 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,257 The guy that shot Reagan? No! 474 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,858 The Greatest American Hero! 475 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,694 Well, I've never seen it. You know what is a good show? 476 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,330 "Unsolved Mysteries" with Robert Stack. 477 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,965 You know what else is a mystery? 478 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,068 Why I thought behaving like you was okay. 479 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,177 Principal Ball had fired Helen because of me. 480 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,911 There was no way I could let that stand. 481 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,382 Mr. Goldberg. Are you finding everything to your liking today? 482 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,650 I'm not. It's about Helen. 483 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,288 I fired her. Was that not good enough? 484 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,690 I'd be very happy to do it again in front of more people 485 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,024 if it would please you. 486 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,295 Opposite. I'm humbly asking you to hire her back. 487 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,297 I was the one who was out of line. 488 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,232 Her only mistake was permanent crankiness. 489 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,602 That and the 17 unexplained absences this semester. 490 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,304 Really? I'm a heavy sleeper. 491 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,405 Well, no one's perfect. 492 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,906 Helen certainly isn't. 493 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,376 She also stole many food items from the cafeteria. 494 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,112 You can't prove I was the one who swiped 495 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,114 14 gallons of liquid cheese to throw a nacho party 496 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,015 for some sailors on leave. 497 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,983 What a long and oddly specific denial. 498 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,920 And there was the unauthorized use of our cafeteria 499 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,124 during Winter Break for a three-day "pajama-jammy-jam." 500 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,758 For God's sake, Helen! 501 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,992 I told you, I'm a heavy drinker. 502 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,694 You said "sleeper"! 503 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,862 It's all connected. 504 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,265 Petty criminal or not, Helen's a fixture here. 505 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,634 She used to slip me extra pizza 506 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,936 when I got anxious in kindergarten. 507 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,273 Sure, they were lousy corner pieces, but once in a while, 508 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,408 a pepperoni would find its way on top. 509 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,145 So, if you could, just please give her 510 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,148 whatever number chance this would be. 511 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,151 That was a very impassioned defense of her character, 512 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,486 despite all the evidence to the contrary. 513 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,155 I try to see the good in people. 514 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,490 As head of a Quaker school, 515 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:14,026 I guess that's something we should all strive for. 516 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,728 Helen, welcome back. 517 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,165 We did it! Not so fast. 518 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,600 I'd like a raise. No! 519 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,502 Whatever. I'll get mine. 520 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,438 Still kind of a win. 521 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,508 With that, I learned to use my powers for good. 522 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,377 But I wasn't the only one trying to right a wrong. 523 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,680 I, uh, just want to say that, uh, 524 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,649 I'm sorry for not being there for you and what not. 525 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,619 It's okay, Murray. It is what it is. 526 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,688 Again, my dad came up short. 527 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,357 But then, instead of following everyone else's advice, 528 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,858 he followed his heart. 529 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,661 Naps. 530 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:49,862 Naps? What are you talking about? 531 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:53,233 When Barry and Erica went off to college, 532 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,834 I missed them terribly. 533 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,469 I didn't know that, Murray. Yeah. 534 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,205 And whenever I felt really bad, 535 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,873 I'd go take a nap in one of their rooms. Really? 536 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,410 I don't know if it was picturing them or the memories, 537 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,378 but when I woke up, felt great. 538 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,380 Wow. 539 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,515 I'm gonna try that. 540 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,049 Works every time. 541 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,320 Well, thanks, Murray. That means a lot. 542 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:17,123 Look, I know I'm not good with feelings or saying stuff, 543 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,760 but, uh, I want you to know you mean a lot to me. 544 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,396 Oh, Murray, you, you big, beautiful man, you. 545 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,531 Get on in here. 546 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,932 No, no. Don't do that. 547 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,234 Oh... That's not what I... Oh. 548 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,471 Hey. Hey to you. 549 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,373 Look, I never should have said those things. 550 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,643 It's okay. I know who I am. 551 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,110 But, more importantly, I know who you are. 552 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,680 A sweet, kind-hearted kid 553 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,882 who always sees the best in people. 554 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,051 You're not upset that I don't want to stand up for myself 555 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:45,985 like you do? 556 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,054 Adam, I was wrong. 557 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,824 You being polite and accommodating is not a weakness. 558 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,460 It's your greatest strength. 559 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,528 Caring, compassion, kindness, 560 00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,230 those are your superpowers. 561 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,566 I wouldn't go that far. 562 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,335 I saw what you did for Helen. That was pretty heroic. 563 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,272 Thanks. But it was probably a mistake. 564 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,906 She's not great. 565 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,276 Well, maybe not. But you are. 566 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,111 ** Believe it or not I'm walking on air 567 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,581 That day, I learned that maybe the best way 568 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,517 to stand up for yourself is by just being yourself. 569 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,151 ** Flyin' away on a wing and a prayer 570 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,153 'Cause the truth is, listening, opening up, 571 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,789 and doing the right thing, 572 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,492 those are the superpowers we all have. 573 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,793 ** Believe it or not it's just me 574 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,261 The trick is having the courage 575 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,597 to know when to use them. 576 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,932 In the end, the greatest heroes 577 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,868 are the ones who will be there for you no matter what. 578 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,340 I hope he's not using your prom tape! 579 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,309 Oh, he is. Are you using my side? 580 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:45,512 Where's the tape of his prom? It's in the den. 581 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,746 I want it in the camera. Come on. Boom. 582 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:47,947 Mike, stop! 583 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,616 Would you... Please? 584 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,522 Scenario! Spokes Driscoll has ventured 585 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,024 into the lucrative world of professional trampolining. 586 00:20:58,157 --> 00:20:59,326 I'm not doing this. 587 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,828 It combines the acrobatics of men's gymnastics 588 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,363 with the whimsy of jumping on a bed. 589 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,797 Just get on with it. 590 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:08,067 You want to buy the Spring-atron 5000 from me 591 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,970 at the price of the much crappier Spring-atron 4000. 592 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,305 Go! 593 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,006 May I please... Never. 594 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,708 Now try to get me to honor 595 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,176 a competitor's coupon 596 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,778 for 99% off. 597 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,347 It doesn't seem likely, but... 598 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,416 Never! Now ask to see the manager. 599 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,184 Are you the... Never! 600 00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,620 You know what? Keep the trampoline. I'm leaving. 601 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,021 We value your business. 602 00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:30,957 Aha!