1 00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:02,167 ADULT ADAM: Ah, there was nothing quite like 2 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,902 Thanksgiving in the Goldberg house. 3 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:05,404 My mom gave it her heart and soul, 4 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:06,872 and all she wanted in return 5 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,440 was for her family to sit around the table 6 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,543 and give thanks... To her. 7 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,746 Okay, turkey's been basted, 8 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,148 and the yams are marshmallowed. 9 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,282 My job is done. 10 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:18,517 Maybe it's time for you to do your jobs 11 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,786 and spend the next few hours thinking about 12 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:24,623 the thing or person that you're most thankful for. 13 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,325 Bon Jovi's ass. Darryl Dawkins. 14 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,494 Harrison Ford. He's Indiana Jones, Han Solo, 15 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,330 and...little-known fact... He's a trained carpenter. 16 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,131 He can make us a gazebo. 17 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:35,401 Everyone out. Go get dressed and think about your answers 18 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,202 while I'm here slaving away. 19 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,239 And he was underappreciated in "Blade Runner." 20 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,641 Harrison Ford sucks. 21 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,610 "Underappreciated," you say? 22 00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:45,344 That does suck. 23 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,713 Which none of us should be saying. 24 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:48,547 That's a terrible word. 25 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,482 But instead of going upstairs to change... 26 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,784 (BOTH SHOUTING) Ball-Ball! We went downstairs... 27 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:54,453 To play the greatest sport of all time. 28 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,288 Like all bored siblings, my brother and I 29 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,890 invented a ton of different games... 30 00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,957 BOTH: Battle-ball! (ADAM GRUNTS) 31 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:02,961 But this was our favorite. It was called... 32 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,930 Ball-ball! Yes! 33 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,965 That was on a breakaway, so it's 6 points 34 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,834 plus a bonus round! (PANTING) 35 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,070 Like every game I played with my big brother, 36 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,304 I had never once won. 37 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,039 It was so bad, the ball-ball trophy 38 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,075 was even named after him. 39 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,911 And the coveted Barry cup 40 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,513 once again goes to... 41 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:22,915 Barry... 42 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:23,715 Norman... 43 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:28,554 Goldberg! MURRAY: Hey, hey! Knock it off. 44 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:29,922 Enough with the ball-ball. 45 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,091 Your mother told you to get dressed. 46 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:32,891 She told you, too. 47 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:36,128 I'm one move away. You're four! 48 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:36,662 Now move it! 49 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,897 I'm not gonna have you ruin your mother's Thanksgiving. 50 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,966 But it wasn't us that always ruined Thanksgiving. 51 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,701 No, that title went to my Uncle Marvin. 52 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:46,171 But, seriously, why do we have to invite him every year? 53 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:47,172 'Cause Marvin's your brother 54 00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:48,874 and the only family you've got? 55 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,710 No. I've got you, I got what's-her-name, 56 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,713 I got the two morons in the basement. I'm good. 57 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,482 Look, every year you two fight, 58 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,283 and Marvin ends up storming out 59 00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,084 before we even sit down. 60 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,720 For once, can't you just take all the negative feelings 61 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,389 and spin them into a positive? How? 62 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:05,858 He's never even had a job. 63 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,926 Positive spin... He's a free spirit. 64 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,728 You can't put a price on that. 65 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,030 Oh. How's 900 bucks for starters? 66 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,367 That's how much I paid for his bartending school, 67 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,669 and he flunked out. Who does that? 68 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,670 I'll tell you who. 69 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,038 Tom Cruise in the movie "Cocktail," 70 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,441 and you know how that ended for him. 71 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,909 Hmm. 72 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,744 Well, actually, I never saw that movie, 73 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,380 but I assume he won over the whole city 74 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,615 with his fancy drinks. 75 00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:33,519 Fine! When he gets here, I will try and be nice to him. 76 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:36,388 You know what, hon? With a new positive attitude, 77 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,525 I think Marvin's really gonna surprise you. 78 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,828 (ENGINE RUMBLING) (HORN HONKS) 79 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,935 DeLorean! 80 00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,837 Surprise. 81 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,972 What's up, Mur? 82 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,042 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 83 00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:01,980 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 84 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,183 ♪ I don't know the future 85 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:08,954 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 86 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,256 It was Thanksgiving day, 1980-something, 87 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,257 and I had finally discovered 88 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:13,959 I had something to talk about with my uncle. 89 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,261 Does it have a flux capacitor? (LAUGHING) 90 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,863 Does it run on 1.21 gigawatts? 91 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,164 Have you been chased by terrorists? 92 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,666 No, but I have been chased by the ladies... 93 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,334 (SINGSONGY) 'Cause it's a ass magnet! 94 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,268 Okay, enough questions. 95 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,736 Um, Marv, can I get you something to drink? 96 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,271 (NORMAL VOICE) Uh, no. can i get you something to drink? 97 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:30,809 It's not every day you got a semiprofessional bartender in your house, am I right? 98 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,978 Oh! Hey! Cocktail! Hey! Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 99 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,547 Ho! Marv-o! Lookin' good! 100 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,716 Right back at you. What's your poison, Al? 101 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,517 I'll take a gin and tonic. 102 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,485 (IMITATES BUZZER) Too hard. Pass. 103 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,554 Say wine or Blue Hawaiian. 104 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,256 I really don't want either one of those. 105 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:47,125 All right, wine it is. Who's next? 106 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,827 Mur, what can I do you for? 107 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,597 I'd like to know how you paid for that thing in the driveway. 108 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,665 Murray. What? I'm being positive. 109 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,400 I just want to know about my brother. 110 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,301 MARVIN: Uh, uh, no, no, no. 111 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,737 No, no, it's a perfectly fair question, 112 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,072 given our history. 113 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,407 You guys aren't gonna believe me, 114 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,242 but I actually got a job. 115 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,178 Yeah, like those time-shares in Sweden that you were selling. 116 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,881 Or like that alpaca farm I invested in. How did I do? 117 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,952 Not good. They got sick, they hurt some kids. 118 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:14,920 Sad stuff. 119 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,856 Anyways, I got a regular old job. 120 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,292 I wear a suit. I work 9:00 to 5:00, 121 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,627 just like my big bro here. 122 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,595 Speaking of which... 123 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,498 I want to pay you back. A little bit. 124 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,634 For some of the money that I owe you. 125 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:29,835 There's like $2,000 in here. 126 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,971 Yeah, it's a drop in the bucket, uh, but it's a start. 127 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,108 (ENVELOPE SLAPS ON COUNTER) Come here. Come here. 128 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,142 For the first time... Come here. 129 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:38,210 My dad felt something for Marvin 130 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:42,281 he'd never felt before... Pride. 131 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:42,981 (MARVIN LAUGHING) Oh! 132 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,350 It's happening! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHING) 133 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,120 Oh. Hey, let's all sit at the table and give thanks. 134 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,488 Right now, before it gets too late. 135 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:50,555 Unh-unh-unh-unh- unh-unh-unh. 136 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,624 I have been waiting all month to give this guy 137 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,925 a ride in my car. 138 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,995 Mur, what do you say? Let's ride. 139 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:57,462 Mur-man! 140 00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,732 (SISTER CHRISTIAN BY NIGHT RANGER PLAYING) 141 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,801 (DOORS HISS) 142 00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:05,170 (ENGINE ROARS) 143 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,375 (WITH STEREO) ♪ Motorin' 144 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:15,914 ♪ What's your price for flight? ♪ Watchin' "Price is Right" 145 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:20,919 ♪ In finding Mr. Right 146 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:26,792 ♪ You'll be all right tonight ♪ 147 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,061 (TURNS OFF STEREO) I do not understand that song. 148 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:30,595 (LAUGHS) Look at us. 149 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:34,232 Cruisin' around Jenkintown like back in the day. 150 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:34,900 Look at us, huh? 151 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,601 And it's all thanks to Lotions of the Oceans. 152 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,705 Lotions of the what? It's my new job. 153 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:40,505 I'm a lotioneer. 154 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,441 (CHUCKLING) I sell these facial creams 155 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,843 and body butters, and they're infused 156 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,345 with this real sea salt. 157 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,881 Beautiful thing, Mur... You take a dab of this stuff, 158 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,149 you put it on your face, 159 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,819 and your skin becomes so smooth and soft. 160 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,988 Well, whatever it is, good for you. 161 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,824 Well, could be good for you. 162 00:05:58,826 --> 00:05:59,791 Just a little cash investment, 163 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:03,095 you get in on the ground floor of this killer business. 164 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,763 (GROANS) 165 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:05,864 What? Just this time 166 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,533 you made it sound like it was gonna be different. 167 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,134 It is different. 168 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,436 Marvin, I so want to support you, 169 00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,404 but you make it so hard. 170 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:15,741 You don't believe me. Fine. Touch my face. 171 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,341 (SCOFFS) What? 172 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,277 Stop being so judgy for five seconds, 173 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,546 and touch my face, and then you will understand 174 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,915 how smooth and delightful my skin is. 175 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,350 Touch it. I don't want to touch your face. 176 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:28,920 Touch my face! I don't even touch my wife's face. 177 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:29,488 Touch my face! 178 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,524 It's like I'm all man, except for this one tiny spot. 179 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,425 I'm not touching your face. 180 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,660 It's like a little baby's earlobe! 181 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:36,528 You're out of your mind. 182 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,763 That's it! Pull over! What? 183 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:40,232 Remove yourself from the cockpit of my car! 184 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:43,502 My dad wasn't the only one spending quality time 185 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,302 with his brother. 186 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,471 Battle-ball! Ah! Battle-ball! (GRUNTS) 187 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,206 (PANTING) 188 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,574 Yes! Yes! 189 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,444 That's a left-handed goal! 2 points for me, 190 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,578 and Barry wins again! 191 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,281 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You didn't call "ball-ball." 192 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,984 Yes, I did. No, you didn't. I was sitting right here. 193 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,386 That's minus 2 points, plus a penalty shot. 194 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,656 Line up. Whatever. Like it matters. 195 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,191 I didn't realize it at that moment, 196 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,927 but as Barry covered his groin with a throw pillow, 197 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,898 our entire power dynamic was about to shift. 198 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,568 Head-shot! 5 points! 199 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,602 Nuh-unh! Didn't hit my head. 200 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,639 Uh... Yes, it did. I was just watching. 201 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,141 I just won. I just won! 202 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:23,809 I just won at ball-ball! 203 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,244 Not true! There's no way you just won! 204 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,379 I'm pretty sure he just won. 205 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,713 There isn't a world where this little, 206 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:32,017 un-athletic, lazy-eyed nerd would beat me. 207 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,120 Well, this un-athletic, lazy-eyed nerd 208 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,622 is now ball-ball champion! 209 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,657 History had been made, 210 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,960 and I did what any champion would... 211 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,861 Gloat. 212 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,163 I knew it! I knew you had an angle! 213 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,667 What? You trapped me in your stainless steel box 214 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,568 just to ask me for money! 215 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:52,604 It's not asking for money! I'm only telling you about 216 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,306 the investment opportunity of a lifetime, 217 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,107 and it's gonna cost you $2,000. 218 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,443 You just paid me back $2,000! 219 00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,779 So you have it! You have to be 220 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,481 the biggest moron of all time. 221 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:05,250 (TIRES ROLLING) Would a moron drive an awesome car like that? 222 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:09,087 Do you have insurance? Why? No! 223 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,889 Oh, my God! 224 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,190 No! 225 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,024 No! 226 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,227 You didn't put the parking brake on! 227 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:19,764 Moron! No! Please! (SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) 228 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,805 Moron! (WAILS) 229 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,106 Oh, gosh! 230 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,140 Okay. Uhh! 231 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,443 It's just a dent! It's just a dent. 232 00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:34,212 You're lucky this thing was built in America. 233 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:34,713 (GRUNTING) 234 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,949 (CONTINUES GRUNTING) (METAL CREAKING) 235 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,020 You bent the frame! 236 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,855 Yep. He bent the frame. 237 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,225 I thought the car looked even more awesome like this. 238 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,059 Hey, pal. 239 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,661 But my uncle did not agree. 240 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,130 He bent the frame! What...really? 241 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,899 He bent the frame! 242 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,269 Now that my dad and Uncle Marv were getting along, 243 00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:00,238 my mom was finally gonna get her thanks. 244 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,339 Okay, they're back! 245 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,742 Or so she thought. 246 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:04,509 Everyone... 247 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:08,113 Let's all sit at the table and say our thanks... (DOOR CLOSES) 248 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,681 To whoever that may be. 249 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,716 Bevy, I am so sorry. 250 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,186 I know you wanted this year to be different, 251 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,121 but it turns out 252 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:19,391 some things never change! 253 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,926 I'll tell you what's changed. 254 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:21,927 I'm never coming back here again. 255 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,996 MURRAY: You say that every year, but you keep showing up! 256 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,932 Yeah, well, this time I mean it! 257 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:27,799 I'm gonna call DeLorean's 258 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,669 24-hour concierge maintenance line, 259 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,803 come fix my car... 260 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,272 And then I am so out of here! 261 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:35,941 No! No one's going anywhere! 262 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,143 The turkey's out of the oven. (PICKS UP PHONE) 263 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,879 We've never made it this far! (DIALS) 264 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:41,947 (BEVERLY SIGHS) (AUTOMATED BEEP) 265 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:45,016 WOMAN: The number you have called has been disconnected. 266 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,753 What the hell? Aren't they out of business? 267 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,055 What are you talking about? 268 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,089 It was all over the news. 269 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,858 The owner...John DeLorean... He was arrested 270 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,995 for trying to sell two FBI agents 271 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,730 cocaine powder. 272 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,131 What are you saying to me? 273 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:03,735 Seriously, the negativity in this house is unbelievable! 274 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,703 (MOTOR WHIRRING) 275 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:08,473 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Yo! Ad-rock! What's up? 276 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,775 Listen, I've given it a lot of thought, 277 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,477 and I've decided to officially acknowledge 278 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,646 that you won the Barry cup. The Adam cup. 279 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,182 Sure. Point is, is I'm being a man 280 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:17,983 and agreeing that you won. 281 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,619 Now you be a man and play me in ball-ball 282 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,987 so I can win the trophy back. 283 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,556 Yeah, here's the thing about that... 284 00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:25,457 I retired. What? 285 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:29,094 I've basically done all I needed to do on the ball-ball court, 286 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,996 and now I'm looking to the future. 287 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,664 You can't retire as champion. 288 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,765 It makes you champion forever. 289 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,402 (INHALES SHARPLY) Ooh, I guess it does. 290 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,071 Fine. I'll beat you at something else. 291 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,840 Hockey, basketball, darts, 292 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,275 Uno, Clue, Battleship, arm wrestling, 293 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,710 thumb wrestling, real wrestling... 294 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,246 Just play me in something so I can beat you in it! 295 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,782 Are you sure you can beat me? 296 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,484 Or has the power dynamic shifted, 297 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:55,387 and you'll never win anything ever again? 298 00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:56,321 Are you serious right now? 299 00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,225 From now on, you're not the big brother anymore. 300 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,159 I am. 301 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,595 I will always be the big brother. 302 00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:05,764 I've grown 2 inches this year. 303 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,965 How much have you grown? 304 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,199 I don't have to answer that. 305 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,703 Get your affairs in order, 'cause from now on, 306 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,071 I'm the man. 307 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,340 Now... Leave me to my robot. 308 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,741 While Barry's anger was heating up, 309 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:20,645 my mom's perfect Thanksgiving was cooling down. 310 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,113 (WHIRRING) Dude... 311 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,649 (WHIRRING STOPS) I'm so stuffed! 312 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,685 Wait a minute. Where are you coming from? 313 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,420 I just ran over to Lainey's house. 314 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:31,923 Her mom made the most amazing feast. 315 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:33,825 I need to lie down. 316 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:34,959 Well, you better make room in your body, 317 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,763 because this Thanksgiving is happening. 318 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,366 (INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY) 319 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,568 I gotta be honest with you, Bev. 320 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,237 I'm taking a lot of body blows today. 321 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,674 Whole lot of body blows. 322 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,610 Apparently, in addition to DeLorean discontinuing 323 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:55,246 their 24-hour concierge service, 324 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,515 now it's impossible for me to buy spare parts, 325 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,617 because the company no longer exists! 326 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:03,488 Really wish someone would have told me that before I bought the car. 327 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,091 Point is, I'm calling a cab. (FLIPPING PAGES) 328 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,459 No! No cabs! 329 00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:09,961 I just cut the turkey, Marvin. 330 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:10,795 (DIALING) Come on. 331 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,797 My mom knew her big Thanksgiving thank-you... 332 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:13,965 (LINE RINGING) Was going down the drain, 333 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,168 so she decided to use every ounce of manipulation 334 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,370 and emotional blackmail in her arsenal 335 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,107 to make sure that didn't happen. 336 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,074 She was good cop... 337 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,409 I know you had a lousy father 338 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,946 and your childhood with Marvin was very complicated. 339 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:31,216 I get it. I am on your side. 340 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,550 She was bad cop... 341 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,986 I'm getting angry, Marvin. 342 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,921 You won't like me when I'm angry. 343 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:37,689 She was guilt cop... 344 00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:39,724 I am this close to giving up as a wife, 345 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,292 as a mother, and as a human being. 346 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,529 And finally, she was the crooked cop that just plain lied. 347 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,732 You know how prideful Murray is. 348 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:48,867 He literally just told me 349 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,602 he wants to invest in your company, 350 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,037 but he doesn't know how to say it. 351 00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,139 Marvin wants to just move on 352 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:57,142 and forget he ever mentioned the business to you. 353 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,277 There's no reason to ever bring it up again. 354 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,747 This is the check from Murray. He wants you to have it. 355 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,181 But... 356 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,918 He also wants you to never mention it. 357 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,953 Ever. 358 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,091 My mom had worked her magic, and for a few minutes, 359 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,194 it was actually like being at a normal Thanksgiving. 360 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,630 (LAUGHS) So there we were, okay? 361 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,297 Connie Mack stadium. 362 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:23,434 Sandy Koufax just pitched a no-hitter against our Phillies. 363 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,235 He was unbelievable. 364 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,604 We run down from the nose-bleed seats. 365 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,772 That's all we could afford. 366 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:30,041 You kids have no idea how good you got it. 367 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,944 MARVIN: Sandy is about to go into the dugout. 368 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:33,845 Suddenly, he turns around, 369 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,680 he looks at us, throws me the ball. 370 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:39,250 No. He threw me the ball, because I caught it. 371 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,487 (LAUGHS) He clearly threw it to me, 372 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,889 which is why Dad made you give me the ball. 373 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,624 Yeah, the greatest pitcher of all time 374 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,727 from 8 feet away doesn't know what kid he's throwing to? 375 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,696 Okay. Keeping it positive. 376 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,832 Uh, now's the time in our dinner 377 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,867 where we're all going to go around the table 378 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:59,704 and say what or who we're most thankful for. 379 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,606 All right? I'm gonna start. 380 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,141 I'm thankful to be surrounded 381 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:07,612 by my beautiful, loving family. (CHUCKLES) 382 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,246 Erica? 383 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,114 I can't even talk, I'm so full. 384 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:10,782 Fine. Barry, go. 385 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,418 I'm thankful for the game Hungry Hungry Hippos, 386 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,054 which is set up in the den if anyone wants to play. 387 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,922 I am also thankful for my family, 388 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:21,226 which I'll now list from most to least powerful. 389 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,896 Dad, Pops, Mom, Erica, 390 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,297 me, Uncle Marv, 391 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,032 and of course, dead last, Barry. 392 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,768 Why are you putting me last? You can't put me last. 393 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,971 Can't I? BEVERLY: Okay, can we stop arguing 394 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,207 and start thanking someone meaningful? 395 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,142 Someone who's done a lot for you? 396 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,845 Well, I'm thankful for a little woman 397 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:41,946 who's always been there for me, 398 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:45,717 not just today, but throughout the years. 399 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,217 Lady luck. 400 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:50,221 Without her, the Cowboys would never have covered the spread. 401 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,457 You guys really want to know what I'm thankful for? 402 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,659 Of course. Come on, don't hold back. 403 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:58,029 Well, I was told specifically not to mention it... 404 00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,964 Oh. Oh, boy. Uh, maybe don't. 405 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,332 Nah, I'm gonna do it. Or not. 406 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,669 I am thankful for my big brother, 407 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:05,904 who believed in me enough 408 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,372 to invest in my cosmetics venture. 409 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,975 I what now? Marvin, I thought we weren't gonna talk about that. 410 00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,143 Whoa. Stop right there. 411 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,379 We're investing money in stuff? I'm in. 412 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,548 Oh! I love you guys. (LAUGHS) 413 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,251 And...and you're gonna love Lotions of the Oceans. 414 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,520 Real sea salt. Huh? (TAPS ON TABLE) 415 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:23,621 Kelp...second ingredient. 416 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,857 I'm gonna go get my samples out of the trunk. 417 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,325 You're gonna love it. 418 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,860 So... 419 00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:32,130 Anyone else like to give thanks? 420 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:42,140 Okay, this is our brand-new face revujenator. 421 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,708 I think it's rejuvenator. 422 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,644 Uh... I think I know what revujenator is. 423 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:47,812 I'm the guy selling the stuff. 424 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:51,082 I feel younger already. We're gonna be rich. 425 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,583 I have the cup! I'm the champion! 426 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,819 That's not how it works! Give it back! 427 00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:55,920 (LOWERED VOICE) What were you thinking 428 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,122 giving Marvin money behind my back? I'm sorry. 429 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,857 I screwed up. But for a split second, 430 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:03,528 I saw you two getting along, and I know you were happy. 431 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,462 Fine, I was happy! 432 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,496 But that's because I thought he'd grown up 433 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,865 and I wouldn't have to take care of him anymore! 434 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:08,766 Okay! Here you go. 435 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,436 You probably want to clear some space out of your garage, 436 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,470 because you're gonna get a delivery 437 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,206 of about, uh, 20 cases of this stuff on Monday. 438 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,575 (NORMAL VOICE) Why would I want 20 cases of that crap? 439 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,410 Because you invested. Right? 440 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,678 That's...that... That's the deal. 441 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,747 You...you peddle the creams, and you recruit more people 442 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,816 to expand your sales triangle. 443 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,850 Sales triangle? 444 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,353 Wait. Is this a damn pyramid scheme? 445 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,422 No, no! Th... There's 26 tiers of sales, okay? 446 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,458 The guys at the top, they make the most money, 447 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,493 and then it funnels down toward the base 448 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,394 of the three-dimensional triangle. 449 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:40,365 You literally just described a pyramid, you idiot! 450 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,232 I see what it is. 451 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,401 I'm finally doing well for myself, 452 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,168 so my brother, of course, 453 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,770 thinks it's some kind of a scam! 454 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:49,007 Murray, stop it! It's Thanksgiving! 455 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:49,640 It's a pyramid! 456 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,243 My face hurts. It's burning real bad. 457 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,311 The burning means that it's working. 458 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,714 It's working too much! There's fire on my face! 459 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,216 Okay... Just wipe it off. 460 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,884 It's Thanksgiving. Come back here! That's my cup! 461 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,419 BEVERLY: Come on, just wipe it off. ERICA: Ow! Ow! Ow! 462 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,421 Come back here! Come back here! ERICA: Ow, ow! 463 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,023 I'm in a great deal of pain now. 464 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,224 You know what? ERICA: Get it off! 465 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,258 I don't care what you people think. 466 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,627 I stand by my product. (ERICA AND BEVERLY SHOUTING) 467 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,162 Then, uh, why don't you put it on your face? 468 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:11,829 What are you doing? 469 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,799 You wanted me to touch your face so bad in the car. Get away from my face. 470 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:15,833 You're taking it out of context. 471 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,902 Come on! That was a different situation! 472 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:18,636 Oh, my God! 473 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,004 Get your hand off his face! 474 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,906 it's Thanks... (BLEEP) giving! 475 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,509 No! Oh, my God! Ew! Ew! 476 00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:27,311 BEVERLY: Murray Oh, my God! 477 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,112 It was a sad sight 478 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,747 watching my dad and uncle fight like children, 479 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:34,385 but even sadder was that Marvin had to ask for a ride home. 480 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,119 (PARKING BRAKE SETS) 481 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,889 I'm gonna send a flatbed over on Monday, 482 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,390 so if it begins to rain, 483 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:43,461 please cover the DeLorean with a tarp or something. 484 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:48,299 How's your eye? Still a little sting-y. 485 00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,201 (SIGHS) 486 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,703 You're right about me. 487 00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,305 I'm a moron. 488 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,808 My car's a bust, I still live in our parents' house, 489 00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,509 and apparently I'm too stupid to realize 490 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,979 that a triangle is the same shape as a pyramid. 491 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,047 I don't know, I just wish that once 492 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:06,050 I could do something that didn't disappoint you, Murray. 493 00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,418 What do you care what I think? 494 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,588 Are you serious? You raised me. 495 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,190 I mean, Dad wasn't there. You were. 496 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,093 You're the one I look up to. Well, don't. 497 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,661 I was just doing what I had to do. 498 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,429 Yeah, well, you gave up your childhood for me. 499 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,598 Don't think I forgot that. 500 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,033 I was glad to do it. 501 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,968 No, you weren't. 502 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:24,502 You're right. 503 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,504 I would have liked to have gone to my prom. 504 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,373 Yeah. I'm sorry I ate that detergent. 505 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,343 It just smelled really good. (SCOFFS) 506 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,913 Look, the point is, it wasn't easy looking after you. 507 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:36,747 But I don't regret it. 508 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,217 And the only reason I call you a moron... 509 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,886 Is because I want the best for you. 510 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:42,587 Really? Yeah. 511 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,690 (SISTER CHRISTIAN BY NIGHT RANGER PLAYING) (INHALES) 512 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:46,891 Hold on a second, all right? 513 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:50,394 Don't go anywhere. I'll... I'll be right back. 514 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:51,462 Turns out it wasn't the DeLorean 515 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,332 that forced my dad and his brother to revisit the past. 516 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,834 It was my dad's crappy old station wagon. 517 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,703 ♪ Sister Christian (DOOR CLOSES) 518 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:02,106 ♪ Oh, the time has come 519 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:03,875 I want you to have that. 520 00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:06,244 The Koufax ball? (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 521 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:06,844 I can't! 522 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,847 Take it. Have a little bit of your childhood back. 523 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:13,951 Huh? We both know that he was throwing it to you. 524 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,321 Get your butt in here. 525 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,124 Come on. Thanksgiving's not over. 526 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:25,429 Hey. Can we talk? No. 527 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,500 Listen. 528 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,236 After I saw Dad and Uncle Marv acting like morons, 529 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,572 I thought, maybe I will give you that rematch. 530 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:38,376 Thought you didn't want to 'cause you're the big brother now. 531 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,110 Oh, come on. 532 00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,646 You'll always be my big brother. 533 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,881 ♪ Motorin' 534 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,883 ♪ What's your price for flight? 535 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:51,422 For the first time ever, my mom ended up getting her perfect Thanksgiving. 536 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,790 We even made it to dessert. 537 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,160 Hey. Can I just, uh, say something here? 538 00:19:56,162 --> 00:20:00,298 I think we should give Mom a big thanks 539 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,300 for working her ass off 540 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,602 and bringing us all together. 541 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,404 Whoo! Hear, hear. 542 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,005 MARVIN: Yeah, Bev. POPS: Hear, hear. 543 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,807 That's...that's not why I do it, 544 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,042 but thank you very much. 545 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,411 It's nice to be appreciated. 546 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,681 ♪ In finding Mr. Right 547 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,150 ♪ You'll be all right 548 00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,184 As for me and Barry, 549 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:23,721 a new era of ball-ball had begun, 550 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,757 and it was anybody's game. 551 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:30,494 BARRY: He shoots! He scores! 552 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,028 He wins! 553 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,464 ADAM: Ah! You didn't say "ball-ball." 554 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,032 Damn it! 555 00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:37,468 Okay, look me in the eye. 556 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:39,804 Are you positive that you want to be a serious, 557 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,607 dedicated, professional bartender? 558 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,242 Uh, maybe? Good. 559 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,177 I dig the fire in your belly. 560 00:20:46,179 --> 00:20:47,111 Okay, rule number one... 561 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:50,815 Always remember, no one cares what their drink tastes like, 562 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:55,253 as long as it's served with flair and panache. 563 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,822 Huh? Uh, that doesn't sound right. 564 00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,390 It's okay. Follow my lead, okay? 565 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:03,094 (HARD ROCK PLAYING) Ho! Hey! Cocktail! Cocktail! 566 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:05,863 Hey! Who wants... (BOTTLE SHATTERS) 567 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,164 What the hell's going on in here? 568 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,900 Nothing. We were just... Are you drinking? 569 00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:10,534 No! I was just... 570 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:13,304 Get your tuchus upstairs now! 571 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:15,773 BEVERLY: Move it! (MOUTHS WORDS) 572 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,308 Uhh... 573 00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:22,913 You're not getting a thing to eat! 574 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,049 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Barry. 575 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,517 Just a few minutes. Okay, enough of this. 576 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,687 My shoes are soaking wet. I don't care!