1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:01,700 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:03,969 before you could buy anything you wanted with a click of a mouse, 3 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:06,939 shopping was more of a contact sport. 4 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:11,377 (WOMEN SHOUTING) And no one was better at it than my mom. 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,983 Remember, dented cans are 50% off. 6 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:21,720 I made it easy for you. They're all dented. (CHUCKLES) 7 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,088 Oh! 8 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,891 Now they're all dented. (LAUGHS) 9 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,426 I don't care if it is a misprint. 10 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:31,063 This ad says that that lawn mower is $9.99, 11 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:33,632 and I am not leaving until you honor this price. 12 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,301 ADULT ADAM: There was no bargain too small, too large, 13 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,670 or too dangerous for Beverly Goldberg. 14 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:42,074 I'm not exaggerating. This really happened. 15 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,275 Mom, they're slipping! 16 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,209 Don't you dare let go. 17 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,345 Use the tag! Hold on tight! 18 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:49,548 It's ripping! It says "Do not remove!" 19 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,250 Dad, slow down! We can't hold them. 20 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:55,287 No. Speed up. They'll stabilize at a higher speed. 21 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:55,954 This isn't worth it! 22 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:59,358 They were buy two, get two free. It's totally worth it. 23 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,559 (SINGSONG) Pumpkin. 24 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,594 Big news about the winter formal. 25 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,264 Found a great price on that dress you wanted. 26 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:08,033 Is it behind this picture of a dress I don't want? 27 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:11,103 Seriously, I don't want some crappy knockoff. 28 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,204 Dad, little help? 29 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,339 Here's all I know about fashion. 30 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,941 I like blue. That's it. 31 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,576 Then let me explain how it works. 32 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,344 You have to spend money to look nice. 33 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:23,482 Or you could grab some of the old dresses in your closet, 34 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:28,520 cut 'em up, and make a new one in the current style. 35 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:33,292 Like, um, that movie with, uh, the girl with the face. 36 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,259 Mom, he's upsetting me. 37 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,929 You should go. I'll go. (CRUNCHES) 38 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,297 (SIGHS) Look at these prices, Erica. 39 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:42,768 (LAUGHS) It's gonna be so much fun. Discount barn, here we come. 40 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:47,439 No! No discount barn or huts or warehouses. 41 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:51,143 I'm tired of always asking you guys for money. 42 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:51,777 I'm getting a job. 43 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,446 A job? You're just a child. 44 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,517 I can't have you losing a foot in a forklift accident. 45 00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,084 Forklift? 46 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,787 Patty Newsome's son got his foot crushed 47 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,922 his first day at the lumberyard. 48 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,958 He'll never bike through Europe now. 49 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,658 Is that what you want? 50 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,828 Brenda said she could get me a job with her at Gimbels, okay? 51 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,830 I'll finally have my own money. 52 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,867 Plus I get a big employee discount. 53 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:19,671 ADULT ADAM: That magic word was all my mom needed to hear. 54 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,874 (FANFARE PLAYING) 55 00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:24,610 Well, who am I to stand in your way? 56 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,012 That settles it. You're getting a discount. 57 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:30,149 Job. (LAUGHS) You're getting a job. 58 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,750 I'm just so happy for us. 59 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:32,684 You. (LAUGHS) 60 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,653 I'm happy for all of us. 61 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,422 Oh. Discount. 62 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,259 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 63 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:44,663 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 64 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:47,533 ♪ I don't know the future 65 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:51,303 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 66 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,405 ADULT ADAM: It was November 19th, 1980-something, 67 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,542 and like every afternoon, I was spending quality time 68 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,578 with my good friend Nintendo. 69 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,114 Come on, slugger. Let's hit the track. 70 00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,048 The ponies are waiting. 71 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,784 One sec. I'm so close to winning Zelda, 72 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:06,952 I can taste it. 73 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,755 Six months of hard work is about to pay off. 74 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,057 You know what I did in six months? 75 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:12,958 Win World War II. 76 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,528 (SHOUTING) I get it! You lived a rich life! Enough! 77 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,232 I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of pressure here. 78 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,700 This game is all I have. 79 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,570 Guess whose life sucks a big sack of marbles. 80 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,537 Just guess. 81 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,939 All right, Barry, what now? 82 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:29,808 First period, backpack rips open. Bad luck. 83 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:33,845 Second period, I fail my pop quiz. Super bad luck. 84 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,215 Third period gym, we're playing basketball, 85 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:39,151 and a bird dooks on my face. 86 00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,652 He dooks on my face! 87 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,722 Actually, when a bird goes poo-poo on you, 88 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,556 it's good luck. 89 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,225 Oh, really? Well, after school, 90 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,327 I asked Jen Sperling to the winter formal, 91 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,330 and she told me Ryan Corbett just asked her 92 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,297 two minutes before me. 93 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:55,634 I don't just have bad luck. I have Barry luck. 94 00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,869 Why don't you come to the track with us? 95 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,905 Pops, don't do that. He's a jinx. 96 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:02,874 Shut up! I'll blind you with my fists! 97 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,611 But he's right. I'm the worst. 98 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,679 POPS: Stop talking that way. 99 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,881 All you need is a positive attitude, 100 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,418 and you'll find your luck's as good as anyone's. 101 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,953 You think? I know. 102 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,389 You're sitting on my bagel bites. 103 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,725 What? 104 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,562 Damn it! 105 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,265 Stupid Barry luck! 106 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,600 Thanks for coming. Come back soon. 107 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,401 How are we doing over here? 108 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:32,604 Terrific. Just sold an extended warranty for a basketball. 109 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,939 Nice work, Erica. You keep that up, 110 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,575 and pretty soon, you'll be wearing this vest. 111 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,409 Well, not this exact one. 112 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:40,679 There's a different style... (SINGSONG) For the ladies. 113 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,015 Just to be clear, I'm not hitting on you. 114 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,016 Okay. 115 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:47,119 (SINGSONG) There's my little worker bee. 116 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:47,719 Buzz, buzz. 117 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,187 Mom, what are you doing here? (CHUCKLES) 118 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:52,524 Just wanted to come by and see my daughter on her first day of work. 119 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:53,225 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 120 00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,893 Oh. (CHUCKLES) And while I'm here, 121 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,628 I picked up a couple of essentials. 122 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,796 Some fiddle faddle... (CASH REGISTER BEEPING) 123 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:02,200 Videotapes for Adam, a clapper for dad so he can... 124 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,202 Turn the lights off from bed, 125 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,704 cologne for Pops... (BEEPING CONTINUES) 126 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:09,474 And an athletic supporter and cup for Barry. Look at this. 127 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,109 (ROBOTIC VOICE) I'm Darth Vader. 128 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:16,915 Erica, I am your mother. Give me your discount. 129 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:17,716 (LAUGHS) 130 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:21,219 (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, but seriously, give me your discount. 131 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,321 I've only been here an hour. 132 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,488 I'm not even sure how that works. 133 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:28,126 The discount policy extends to the employee's immediate family, 134 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:28,794 and that's me. 135 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:29,995 How do you even know that? 136 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,297 Well, I took a look-see inside the employee lounge 137 00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,566 and checked out the handbook. 138 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,668 Ugh. Fine. I'll give you my discount, 139 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,004 just as long as you stay out of the lounge. 140 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:39,604 (WHISPERS) Okay. 141 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:43,275 (REGISTER BEEPS) With the discount... It comes to... 142 00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:45,010 $17.10. 143 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,713 And... Damn it, I'm good. 144 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,115 Mom... 145 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:51,650 (LAUGHS) 146 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:52,884 I'm so proud of us. 147 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,454 MAN OVER PA: And down the stretch they come... 148 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,788 Yes! Yes! Move your ass! Move it! 149 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,156 Move it! That's it! 150 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,225 Yes, yes! No! 151 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,960 Son of a bitch! 152 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,397 Damn it! 153 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:08,867 The one day I wear a ketchup-colored shirt! 154 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,136 (GROANS) 155 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,273 Come on. I got an idea. 156 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,576 Hey, Barry. Barry, wait up. 157 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:21,146 I lost three in a row, Pops. Can we just go? 158 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,547 Why would we go? 159 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:26,084 You didn't lose that race. You won. 160 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,219 Really? Really? 161 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,721 Really. When I placed your bet, 162 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,923 I also picked the trifecta, 163 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,825 then boxed the quinella, 164 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,360 and wheeled the exotica. 165 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:38,730 That means you win for coming in last. 166 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:39,998 That doesn't make any sense. 167 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,602 Of course it does. It's like in golf. 168 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:47,205 The person who gets the lowest score wins. 169 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,441 That does happen in golf! 170 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,544 You just won yourself 20 bucks. 171 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,212 Now that's Barry luck. 172 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,381 Chili dogs on me, baby! 173 00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,482 Whoo! 174 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,584 Told you I had a plan. 175 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,353 Where's the snack bar? 176 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:02,621 Whoo! 177 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,457 ADULT ADAM: While Pops was making Barry's life better, 178 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,224 over the next week, 179 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:09,661 my mom continued making Erica's a living hell. 180 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,030 This is the last outfit left in Adam's size, 181 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,799 so I'll just bring the mannequin back tomorrow. 182 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,001 Mom, this is the fourth time you've been here this week. 183 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,770 Actually, it's the fifth. I came in on your day off, 184 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,839 and Randy let me use his discount. 185 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,673 I don't wanna get in trouble. 186 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,810 Donald said I'm being considered for assistant manager. 187 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,578 Oh, my God. That would be amazing! 188 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,581 According to the handbook, you'd get another 10% off. 189 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:30,715 Mom, you're not listening. 190 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,417 And you're not making with the beep-bop-boop. 191 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:35,587 I'm sorry, honey. I've gotta speed this along. 192 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,354 I've got lunch plans. 193 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,256 You can't be back here. (REGISTER BEEPING) 194 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,491 (REGISTER WHIRS) It'll just take a minute. 195 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,894 You're messing with my drawer. I have a system! 196 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,730 (RECEIPT RIPS) Thanks, poopie. 197 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,267 Yeah, we need to talk. 198 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:49,935 I know, I know. 199 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,771 Look, you've become a really special member of the Gimbels family. 200 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:55,173 Technically, your mom is allowed to use your discount, 201 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,843 but in my heart, it just feels wrong. I get that. 202 00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:01,413 You get that if you don't get rid of her, I will fire you? 203 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:02,914 I didn't get that. 204 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:03,615 But now I do. 205 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,052 Good. Make sure we get the mannequin back. 206 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,088 ADULT ADAM: Erica knew someone had to go, 207 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,423 and it wasn't gonna be her. 208 00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:14,659 So when my mom came in the next day, she was ready. 209 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,562 Here you go. Four snow pants, four parkas, 210 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,699 three sets of mittens, and of course, fiddle faddle. 211 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,567 And it practically all pays for itself 212 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,602 with my employee discount. 213 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,404 Have I told you that you're my favorite child? 214 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,206 I'm gonna say it at the dinner table tonight. 215 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,775 I literally love you the most. 216 00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,377 Aw. (CLICKS TONGUE) Aw. 217 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,079 Aw. Aw. 218 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,914 Aw. Aw. 219 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,450 Bye, sweetie. Bye. 220 00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:40,418 (ALARM SOUNDING) 221 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,321 Sorry, ma'am. We're gonna need to go through your bags. 222 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,323 Oh. Of course. (CHUCKLES) 223 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,559 You know, I come here all the time. 224 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,295 It's just standard procedure. 225 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:56,134 I honestly...don't know how that got in there. 226 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,736 Can you come with me, please? 227 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,938 Why? I didn't take it. 228 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,773 I don't even wear white diamonds. 229 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,808 It's not my signature scent. 230 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:04,309 Come on. 231 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,145 Don't put your hands on me! I have rights. 232 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,680 We don't need to make a scene. 233 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:09,681 Erica! Call Mr. Gimbel. 234 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,816 Tell him one of his best customers is in trouble 235 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,551 and needs his help. 236 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,686 I'd rather not get involved, ma'am. 237 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,255 You. I've been framed. 238 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,057 She framed me with snow pants. 239 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,293 Oh! Please hold on to my merchandise 240 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,995 until I can get this sorted out! 241 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,365 ADULT ADAM: Now that Barry's luck had changed, 242 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,368 he was sure it was contagious. 243 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,203 Yah! Whoo! 244 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,705 I'm on fire, baby! 245 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:37,309 That was all me. I scored that goal. 246 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,543 What are you talking about? 247 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,979 My awesome luck's going right through the TV 248 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:41,880 and into the flyers. 249 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,449 That's true. Whenever something good happens, 250 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,850 we call it Barry luck. 251 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:46,885 Is that what you called it 252 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,754 when he bit into his own hand at dinner the other night? 253 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,356 That's old Barry. 254 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,191 (POPCORN RUSTLES) 255 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,392 You ate all the fiddle! 256 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,628 It's all faddle now, you moron. 257 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,798 (DOOR CLOSES) Hey, kiddo. How was work? 258 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,766 Good. Good. 259 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,902 Another day, another dollar. 260 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,441 (CLAPPING) 261 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,310 You. 262 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,678 You gave me no choice. 263 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,780 You were using me as a human discount. 264 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:19,818 Who has their own mother arrested? Who does that? 265 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,753 And to think I almost bought you snow pants? 266 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,422 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, what's going on here? 267 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,825 Your own daughter had me hauled off to jail. 268 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:30,495 It was the mall security office next to the orange Julius. 269 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,664 It was jail. It was small and stuffy, 270 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:36,334 and they took a very unflattering polaroid of me. 271 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,503 Look at it. Look at it. 272 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,904 Look at it. Eh. 273 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,207 Wait. Did you steal that? 274 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,675 You were there for stealing. 275 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,845 I was providing this family with the essential items 276 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,346 that make this household run, 277 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,348 like food, clothing, fiddle faddle. 278 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,984 That's what I do. Tell her, Murray. 279 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:58,289 He agrees with me. You framed the woman who gave birth to you. 280 00:10:58,424 --> 00:10:59,858 Bravo. 281 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,293 Damn it! 282 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,662 (CLAPPING) 283 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:04,729 Murray. 284 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,098 Go to your room while I figure out your punishment. 285 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,502 I'm 17. You can't just send me to my room. 286 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:11,736 Oh, I can, 287 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,071 and I will, 288 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,706 and I just did. 289 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,107 It's my job as your mother. 290 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:20,578 Job? Please. You've never had a job a day in your life. 291 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,480 You're just a mom. 292 00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:28,687 ADULT ADAM: It had been three days 293 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,388 since Erica questioned my mom's entire reason for being, 294 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:35,727 so Beverly Goldberg did the only reasonable thing she could think of. 295 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,363 She went on strike. 296 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,265 Hey, honey. 297 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,866 Uh, just talking with the boys, 298 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,468 and we were kind of wondering 299 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,671 where we are on tonight's dinner situation. 300 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:51,176 Ooh. I just made myself a delicious piece of teriyaki salmon, 301 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,611 but, uh, oh, I think there's cold cuts in the fridge. 302 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:57,115 Look, Bevy, I know you're trying to make a point here, 303 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,551 but it's been three days. 304 00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,721 I had to wear my tuxedo shirt to work! 305 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,756 Yes, I did look like Roger Moore, 306 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,927 but don't you think it's time you called off this fight? 307 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:09,561 There's no fight. 308 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,797 All that happened was my daughter gently suggested 309 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,100 that my life is meaningless. 310 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,134 Oh, here's our little angel now. 311 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,704 If you have a problem, you should take it up with her. 312 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,677 What? You know what. 313 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:27,946 You broke Mom. 314 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,482 ADULT ADAM: While my mom and Erica continued their battle, 315 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:35,520 my battle with Zelda was about to come to a glorious end. 316 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,922 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 317 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,092 (BEEPS) 318 00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:47,732 (PANTING) Okay. Don't touch anything in there. 319 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,100 I'm about to win Zelda. 320 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,336 I gotta grab my video camera and record this moment. 321 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,304 'Cause it's literally the biggest day of my life. 322 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,106 Well, who's Zelda? Your... Your girlfriend? 323 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,977 No. It's the game I've been playing for the last six months. 324 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,112 It's all I talk about. Were you even listening? 325 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,015 I think you answered your own question there. 326 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,284 Don't let anyone near the TV! 327 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,285 Oh, my God, it's happening! 328 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,722 Dad. You won't believe the day I had. 329 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:14,325 First I aced my math quiz. B-minus. 330 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,161 Then bio lab got flooded, 331 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,463 so we had class in the quad, 332 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,365 where a bird did not crap on me. 333 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:25,537 Then after school, Jen Sperling asked me to the dance 334 00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:26,838 'cause her date got... 335 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,206 ♪ Viral meningitis 336 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,376 Oh, good for you. Bad for him. But good for you. 337 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:35,246 His brain is swollen! Everything's coming up Barry. 338 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,950 ADULT ADAM: Barry was on a lucky streak, and I was gonna pay the price. 339 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,885 I was one button click away 340 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,053 from winning The legend of Zelda. 341 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:46,558 Unfortunately, I wasn't the one who got to click the button. 342 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,828 (BEEPING) 343 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:54,465 See that? 344 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,568 I literally can't lose. 345 00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:59,904 (CRYING) No, no! No! 346 00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,139 What did you do? 347 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,374 You stupid, stupid man. 348 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,909 Dude! What's your problem? 349 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:07,045 I've been playing that game for six months! 350 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,647 And I beat it in six seconds. 351 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,916 Guess that's just Barry luck. 352 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:12,717 You're not lucky. 353 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,086 You didn't win a single race at the track. 354 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,054 I won the exotica! 355 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,622 You just don't understand golf. 356 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,657 You don't understand anything. 357 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,993 No one wins for coming in last. 358 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,329 Pops made it all up. 359 00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,163 What? 360 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,366 Pops would never screw with me like that. Tell him. 361 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,335 You can win tons of money for coming in last. 362 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:34,105 That's right! And one day, you'll ride a unicorn, 363 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,975 and you'll live in a house made of candy. 364 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,843 Just to be clear, you won't. 365 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:43,114 ADULT ADAM: And just like that, Barry's lucky streak ended. 366 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,291 You okay? 367 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,226 Yeah. I... 368 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,097 Finally made enough money to buy the dress I wanted at work, 369 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,734 and apparently, taffeta melts. 370 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,069 Apologize to your mom. 371 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:05,503 Dad... 372 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,973 Not just for you, but for me, too. 373 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:10,975 There's no food in the house. 374 00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,343 Today I had to eat an apple. 375 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,778 I'm not gonna apologize to Mom 376 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,346 because you had to eat fruit. 377 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,382 I know your mom gets carried away, 378 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,118 but everything she does, she does for this family. 379 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:20,685 It's her job. 380 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,854 And she doesn't get any employee discounts, 381 00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:27,258 and all her customers... Jerks! Every one of 'em. 382 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,429 You may not wanna do what your mom does when you grow up, 383 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,998 but you gotta learn to respect it. 384 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,711 ADULT ADAM: After learning Pops had tricked him, 385 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,414 bad luck Barry set out to get his revenge. 386 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,349 Thanks for agreeing to bring me back here, Pops. 387 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,786 I'm on such a lucky streak, figured I'd let it ride. 388 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,188 Mmm. Well, what'll it be, kiddo? 389 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,257 There are some great odds on semi-charmed. 390 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:04,095 Mmm. No. I'm gonna bet Colonel Seymour. 391 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,530 Colonel Seymour? 392 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,631 He's 40 to 1. 393 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,033 You could jump on my back, and we'd beat him. 394 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:11,002 Well, with Barry luck, I can't lose, 395 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:13,972 'cause I'm Barry and I'm lucky. 396 00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,040 Right? Right? 397 00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,209 Here's all the money to my name... 398 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,377 Birthdays, allowance, 399 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,612 money I stole from Adam. Bet it all. 400 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,681 I don't think you should make this bet, kid. 401 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,117 Why not? I mean, you told me I'm lucky, 402 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,352 and it's not like my grandfather 403 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,421 would lie to my face for a week straight. 404 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,256 Right? 405 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:33,424 Right? 406 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,425 So I'm guessing you know. 407 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,127 Yeah, I know! Adam told me everything. 408 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,829 I'm a completely jinx, and you know it. 409 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,898 Kiddo, you just had the week of your life, 410 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:41,599 and you know why? 411 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,401 'Cause you were thinking positive for a change. 412 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,137 Yeah, 'cause thinking positive got me a hot date, 413 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,439 good grades, and stopped my night terrors. 414 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,909 Yes! Look, there's no such thing as luck. 415 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,278 It's all about betting on yourself. 416 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,248 That's when things really change. 417 00:16:58,217 --> 00:16:59,050 Guess it was a good week. 418 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:04,022 So, uh, you're still gonna bet on this crazy long shot Colonel Seymour? 419 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,891 Nah. I think I'm gonna sit this one out. 420 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:10,294 MAN OVER PA: And the winner is Colonel Seymour 421 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:11,162 by half a length. 422 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,563 Pops, how much would I have won? 423 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:18,069 Somewhere in the neighborhood of $4,253. 424 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,337 Ugh. 425 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,807 Ugh! 426 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,980 Hey. Hey. 427 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,281 What are you doing out here? 428 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,850 Had to get out of that stinky house. 429 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,219 It smells like a diaper fire. 430 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,389 (PLASTIC RUSTLING) 431 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,125 Wow. 432 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:42,760 These are comfortable. 433 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,563 It's comfort spring technology. 434 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,033 Look, I was pissed. 435 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,602 I shouldn't have said all that. 436 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,937 I know what you do is a job. 437 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:57,075 You know, when I was younger, I was really good in school. 438 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,144 I got straight A's. I was a real good arguer, 439 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:00,878 and people used to say, 440 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,449 "Beverly Solomon, you should be a lawyer." 441 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,551 That wasn't my dream. 442 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,519 My dream was to have a family. 443 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,521 My dream was this. 444 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:12,490 You're really good at it. 445 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,925 But it's not for everyone. 446 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:17,095 You want different things out of life, and... 447 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:18,930 That's okay. 448 00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,398 You sure? 449 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,999 Honey, you are a pain in my ass, 450 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:24,035 and you never listen to a word I say, 451 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:27,538 but the way you had me booted out of that store... 452 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,005 (SCOFFS) 453 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:31,542 You're gonna make a great assistant manager one day. 454 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,711 I'm sorry I got you sent to mall jail. 455 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:37,014 I'm sorry I got carried away with your discount. 456 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,417 I know I get crazy when it comes to shopping. 457 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,418 I will try to work on that. 458 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,753 No, you won't. I really won't. 459 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,058 Listen, I need your help. 460 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,961 I kinda ironed my dress. 461 00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:53,431 Honey, you don't iron taffeta. 462 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,068 It's okay. Mama will fix it. 463 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,272 Aw. Aw. 464 00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:02,907 (CLICKS TEETH) Aw. 465 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,910 ♪ Well, she was an American girl ♪ 466 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:09,247 Here you go, sweetie. Made your lunch. 467 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,581 Have a good day at work. 468 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,382 You, too. (CHUCKLES) 469 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,818 ADULT ADAM: Yeah, in my family, we yelled and swore 470 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,821 and sometimes framed each other for petty crimes, 471 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,389 but under all that crazy, 472 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,259 we were always there to support each other. 473 00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:28,199 Zelda II? Seriously? 474 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,434 I saved some money at the track. 475 00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,303 Come on. Let's go play. 476 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,337 (CHUCKLES) 477 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:37,542 BEVERLY: Aw, look at my delicious little boy! 478 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,343 Lucky guy. 479 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,912 ♪ Take it easy, baby 480 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,046 ♪ Make it last all night 481 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,047 ♪ Make it last all night 482 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,851 ♪ She was an American girl 483 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,687 She looks amazing. 484 00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:54,559 How'd you fix her dress? 485 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,261 Easy. I just bought her a new one. 486 00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:58,696 ADULT ADAM: And every now and then, 487 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,833 we even made each other's lives just a little bit easier. 488 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,535 What is this? 489 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,504 Figured it was our turn to make you dinner. 490 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:10,374 Oh, my gosh. That is so sweet! 491 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,376 So exciting. 492 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:19,650 Tough on the top and has a jelly coating on the bottom. 493 00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,754 (MOUTH FULL) Is that baking soda? 494 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,556 (GRUNTS) 495 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,094 Why don't I just whip something up? 496 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,063 Thank God. Perfect. 497 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,265 BEVERLY: I love you guys. 498 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,470 Look what I swiped from the security office at work. 499 00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:41,806 (SIREN WAILING ON TV) 500 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:45,509 You can't detain me! I have rights! 501 00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:46,877 I almost went to law school. 502 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:52,350 I am a female woman, and I am being held against my will. 503 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,819 ♪ Nobody knows 504 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,088 ♪ The trouble I've seen 505 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,390 This prison can't hold me! 506 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,791 Let me out! 507 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,994 You may have caged my body, 508 00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:06,297 but you have not caged my mind! 509 00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,265 Do you think this is funny? 510 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,233 I know what you're doing back there. 511 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,301 I can see you! 512 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:13,204 You will not break my spirit. 513 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,239 (GRUNTS) 514 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,808 How long was she in there? 515 00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,011 12 minutes. 516 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,548 Please don't do that now. Don't do that. 517 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,718 ADAM: Well... That's a nice sweater. Where'd you get that?