1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:02,001 I'm home! 2 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,270 Adult adam: My dad was the least complicated guy on the planet. 3 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,039 His first order of business 4 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,807 Was to always be comfortable. 5 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,910 That meant parking his pants at the door. 6 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:15,180 His hobbies included sleeping in his chair... 7 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,615 (snoring) 8 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,950 ...Watching fantasy island. 9 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:18,884 Oh, don't worry, boss. 10 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,185 Adult adam: Sleeping in his chair... 11 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,420 Oh! ...Yelling at the phillies... 12 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,788 (shouting) what is that pitch? 13 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,890 ...And sleeping in his chair. (snorts) 14 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,426 Even his parenting style was simple 15 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,895 And always involved choice vocab words. 16 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,564 Hey, you morons. Stop being morons. 17 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,066 Unreal. I raised a moron. 18 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,501 Why you got to be a moron all the time? 19 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,136 He wasn't a complicated guy 20 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,337 Or, frankly, even that interesting. 21 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,671 But every once in a while, 22 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,273 He was accidentally reveal 23 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:41,974 Something about himself 24 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:44,743 That would make you feel like you didn't know him at all. 25 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,712 All right, all fixed. Wow! 26 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,480 Where did you learn how to do that? 27 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,349 Army. 28 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,350 What? 29 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,751 Did you say "army"? 30 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,587 Dad, is this you and lou reed? 31 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,923 Yeah, we, uh, waited tables together. 32 00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:59,491 What? Tell me more. 33 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,994 Eh, it was a whole thing. 34 00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:05,731 Wait! Come back! I want to know you! 35 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,333 (video game beeping) 36 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:11,070 Pull up! Pull up! You're gonna crash the plane. 37 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:13,505 I was in a plane crash once. 38 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:15,808 Nap time. 39 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:19,344 Adult adam: Yep, some people glorify the past, 40 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,245 But not my dad. 41 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,414 To him, it's like it never even happened. 42 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,316 Oh, my god, murray, you're not gonna believe it. 43 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,518 I just got off the phone with your old high school. 44 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,487 Your record has been broken. 45 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,523 Whoa, wait. Dad had a record in high school? 46 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,791 What kind of record? 47 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:33,692 Chili! He loves chili. 48 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,594 It's something to do with chili. 49 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,096 True, but that's not it. 50 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,197 Your dad set the record 51 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,599 For most free throws in a row 52 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,067 At central high. 53 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,435 Like, in basketball? 54 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,803 What... What are you talking about? 55 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,238 What can I say? We won state. 56 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,475 Uh, I hit 79 free throws in a row. 57 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:50,976 Uh, what do you want from me? 58 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,878 Murray, the high school wants you to go back 59 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,848 So they can honor you at the game Saturday night. 60 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,050 We get to stay downtown, 61 00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:01,220 And there's gonna be a banquet. 62 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:01,820 A banquet? 63 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,289 That's the fanciest of all food parties! 64 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,325 I know! It's a very big deal. 65 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,227 Here's the thing about that. 66 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,094 Pass. 67 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:09,928 No pass. Pass! 68 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,964 I already told them you'd be there. Why would you do that? 69 00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,099 You know I don't have an interest in things. 70 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:14,800 Is this for real? 71 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,536 I mean, we've never even seen you touch a basketball. 72 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,238 Yeah, I mean, I can't believe this. 73 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,540 It's one of my dreams to play in the nba, 74 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,308 And you never once mentioned it? 75 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,110 Didn't see how it was relevant. 76 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,945 Oh, it's relevant. 77 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,780 What you gonna do? What you gonna do? 78 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,751 Huh? Huh? What you gonna do? What you gonna do? 79 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,419 Not much more than what I'm doing right now. 80 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:37,389 I want you to show me what you got, free-throw king! 81 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,290 Are we, uh, done here yet? 82 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:42,227 No! You were clearly some type of popular high school god. 83 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,128 Tell me what it was like. 84 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:46,798 I don't know. I, uh, dated a lot of girls. 85 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:47,432 I went to parties. 86 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,801 I got elected class president a few times. 87 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,970 Lunch lady gave me free jell-o. 88 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:52,538 Eh, the usual. 89 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,874 Not usual. That's the opposite of my life. 90 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:56,475 The lunch lady said 91 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,844 I look like the warlord who burnt down her village. 92 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,812 I'm going in. No, wait, wait! Come on! 93 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,047 I thought you were gonna give me some pointers. 94 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,483 Unless you want me to give you some. 95 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:08,153 How about from way downtown? 96 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,454 Hope you brought an umbrella, 97 00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:12,925 'cause it's about to rain some 3s! 98 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,927 Swish, baby! 99 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:15,994 Fundamentals! 100 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,096 Intangibles! 101 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,765 Unselfish! 102 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,600 Basketball! 103 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,236 And that's how you do it. 104 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,537 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 105 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:30,842 ♪ but nonetheless I feel the need to say 106 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:32,844 ♪ I don't know the future 107 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:37,482 ♪ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 108 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,550 'sup, lexy bloom? 109 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,920 Ready to break the seal on this new yearbook, or what? 110 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:42,554 Uh, sure. 111 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,157 Adult adam: This year, barry left an entire page blank 112 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,593 For the one signature he cared about... 113 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,062 His dream girl, lexy bloom. 114 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,298 "have a bitchin' summer, gustav?" 115 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,033 I'm not the swedish exchange student! 116 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,669 I'm speaking english to you! 117 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:01,673 Swing and a miss. 118 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,176 Aw, you love her, and she thinks you're from sweden. 119 00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:06,111 I've spent all year trying to make a name for myself, 120 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:09,214 And lexy bloom still doesn't know who I am. 121 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:09,881 She's so lucky. 122 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:14,052 If only there was a way to, like, have a casual get-together 123 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,688 With the coolest kids from school, 124 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,656 Like, at our house, 125 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,424 But without the formal, sit-down dinner. 126 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,592 I think you're describing a party. 127 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,528 Oh, my god. I have the greatest idea. 128 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,230 I'm gonna throw a party. 129 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,699 Mom and dad are staying downtown Saturday night. 130 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,934 (gasps) I'll invite the whole school! 131 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,737 Whoa, hold on. Uh, I want you to think about this... 132 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,705 High-school friends! 133 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,740 This Saturday night, 134 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,341 I'm inviting you to the best party 135 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,344 In the history of william penn academy, 136 00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:40,779 Thrown by yours truly! 137 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,414 Boy: We love you, gustav! 138 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,183 No! I'm barry goldberg! 139 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,218 Doesn't matter! 140 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,520 Party at my place! 141 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,621 Adult adam: For the next few days, 142 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,391 Barry spread the word all over school. 143 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:53,558 It was gonna be a wild rager, 144 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,927 And nobody was more excited than me. 145 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,597 Oh, man. My first high-school party 146 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:02,401 With r-rated language and adult situations. 147 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,337 This is my "risky business." 148 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:05,937 Damn right! 149 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,974 There's gonna be dancing, fistfights, 150 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,242 Pizzas on record players, 151 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:13,378 Hot cheerleaders jumping from the roof into the pool. 152 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,380 We don't have a pool. 153 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,449 Don't we? 154 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,617 Blow this up. 155 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,185 (gasps) sweet! 156 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:23,322 I'm gonna go grab my inhaler and get started. 157 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:23,822 Okay! 158 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,324 I got twister and ashtrays. 159 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,259 What time's this party kicking off? 160 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,293 Whoa, wait. You're okay with this? 161 00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:31,563 Uh, look, I... I don't condone lying to your parents, 162 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,966 But I've been tracking your highs and lows this year. 163 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,968 And frankly, you need this. 164 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,803 Awesome! 165 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,404 Only thing left is to make sure 166 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:42,207 Mom and dad leave without suspecting a thing. 167 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,075 Okay, love bugs. 168 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:46,078 Pops is in charge while we're away for the evening. 169 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,112 Have fun. 170 00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:47,779 No fun here. 171 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,214 We're just gonna sit here bored to death 172 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,315 Waiting for you to come home. 173 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,985 Oh, well, in that case, throw on some shoes and join us! I insist. 174 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,387 Then it's settled. We're coming. 175 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,322 What are you doing? Panicking. 176 00:05:57,324 --> 00:06:00,692 Okay, if the kids come with us, I'm staying home. 177 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,227 Great! Stay. 178 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,228 What's wrong with you? 179 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,363 The more the merrier. 180 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,497 You're a stupid, stupid boy. 181 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,900 You... You two just go. I'll hold down the fort. 182 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,536 All right. Dinner's in the fridge. 183 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,206 (sighs) that was a close one. 184 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,708 We make a good team, guys. 185 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,377 Dover: (on mic) ladies and gentlemen... 186 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,545 Adult adam: While barry couldn't wait to start his epic night, 187 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,780 My dad was still indifferent about his. 188 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,816 Dover: ...Captain of the 1961 state championship team murray goldberg! 189 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,951 (whistle blows) 190 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:26,685 (all cheering) 191 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,620 Adult adam: ...Until this happened. 192 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,222 What the hell's going on? 193 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,590 What's wrong with these people? 194 00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,192 Nothing. They love you, murray. 195 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:34,693 (chuckles) 196 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,262 Adult adam: For my dad, the past was the past. 197 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:37,996 He never wanted to be 198 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,031 One of those guys always recounting his glory days. 199 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,968 But for one shining moment, he decided to embrace it. 200 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:46,204 All: (chanting) chomp, chomp, chomp! Let's go, beavers! Let's go! 201 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,973 Chomp, chomp, chomp! (whistle blows) 202 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,775 Adult adam: My dad hadn't picked up a basketball in years. 203 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,576 But by the end of the first half, 204 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,211 He was ready to suit up. 205 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,580 Oh! (laughs) 206 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,249 That's how we do it, beavers! 207 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,784 Dover: Okay! Yeah! 208 00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,918 Just want to take a quick moment 209 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,187 To welcome back murray goldberg. 210 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,689 In honor of his 25-year-old record, 211 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:05,457 We'd like to present him 212 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,826 With a ball signed by the entire team. 213 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,494 Murray, come on down. 214 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,430 (all cheering) 215 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,397 Whoo! 216 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,833 Hey, hot stuff! 217 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:18,870 Thank you. 218 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:19,838 Thank you very much. 219 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,908 All: (chanting) shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 220 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,744 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 221 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:26,945 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 222 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,447 Really? What are you doing? 223 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,116 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! (chuckles) 224 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,051 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! 225 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,154 Shoot the ball! Shoot the ball! That's my husband! 226 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,123 Adult adam: The moment my dad stepped to that line, 227 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,727 He realized he was still that kid from high school... 228 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:46,832 An athlete, a legend, a champion. 229 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,867 And then, he did this. 230 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,912 (camera shutter clicks) got it! 231 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,814 Boy: You suck, old man! 232 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,815 (all laughing) 233 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,817 All: (chanting) air ball! 234 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,818 Adult adam: In his defense, 235 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,320 That was a very common shooting style 236 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,020 Back in the day. 237 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,090 But as the chant of "air ball" rang through the gym, 238 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,258 It only confirmed to my dad 239 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,926 That he didn't belong on that court. 240 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,895 He belonged in front of the tv 241 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:17,829 In his underpants. 242 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,099 But this wasn't the most embarrassing display of the evening. 243 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,469 That belonged to my brother's epic party. 244 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:25,103 It was 9:00, 245 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,639 And the only people that showed up were me, 246 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,675 Roger mcfadden, who brought bugles, 247 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:34,212 And gustav, the foreign-exchange student. 248 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,080 Later. I'm going out. 249 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,915 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 250 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,217 Look... Look what's happening in there. 251 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,219 It's a pure sausage fest. 252 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,121 The bugles are for hot chicks only! 253 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:47,125 You're a popular girl. Invite some of your friends over. 254 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,127 The poor guy needs this. 255 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,462 Barry: (shouts) shut up, gustav! 256 00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:53,031 It's called being fashionably late. 257 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,401 Fine. I'll call a couple of my friends. 258 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,168 Thank you. 259 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,069 (indistinct conversations) 260 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,638 Adult adam: Nowadays, all it would take is a tweet. 261 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,406 But back then, one phone call worked just as well. 262 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,475 I thought you said "a couple of friends." 263 00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,143 All I did was call lainey. 264 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,078 You wanted barry to have fun, right? 265 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,048 Look at the guy. He is the man. 266 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,684 Welcome to casa de barry, ladies! 267 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:16,888 Looking good. Nice pants, random dude. 268 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,622 Told you I'd rock. 269 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:20,191 Is the party like a rap video, or what? 270 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,326 Move over, aunt rose's 50th, 271 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:25,430 This is the hottest party this dining room's ever seen. 272 00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,304 Holy crap. It's lexy bloom. 273 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:33,405 She came! 274 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,139 She's here! 275 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,907 What are you waiting for, man? 276 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,609 Chiclet me. 277 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:40,145 Whoa, girl. 278 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,347 I see you found the vip section. 279 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,316 What makes this the vip section? 280 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:45,050 'cause I'm here. 281 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,586 Anything you want, I'll make it happen. 282 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,822 Fruit roll-ups? Bagel bites? 283 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:51,957 Flintstone vitamins? 284 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:54,192 The world's your oyster, baby. 285 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:54,626 See? 286 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,261 We just gave your weird little brother 287 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,663 The best night of his life. 288 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:02,334 Whoo! The party has arrived! 289 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,869 You go to school with him? 290 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,504 I do not. 291 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,639 And we're out of hand. 292 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,308 Who wants to take a shower? 293 00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:15,447 Adult adam: By 10:00, barry's party was blowing up... 294 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,248 But not as much as my sister. 295 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:21,386 Hey! Stop! You're spilling everywhere! 296 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:22,153 You! 297 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,289 Stop making out in my dad's chair! 298 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,891 He lives there! 299 00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:27,759 (sighs) 300 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,694 What the hell? That's my mom's! 301 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,262 Why are you wearing that? 302 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,764 Oh, it's a sweater party. 303 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:33,431 That's not a thing. 304 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,900 And I put a sign on the stairs that said "off limits." 305 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,370 Ah, yeah, that piece of yarn broke, 306 00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:41,339 So we all just kind of... Helped ourselves. 307 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,375 "we?" 308 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,745 (indistinct conversations) 309 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:50,682 Off! 310 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,083 Everyone take it off! 311 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,853 Yes! It's happening! Take it off! 312 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:55,920 Adam, go upstairs! 313 00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,456 Well, the sign says it's off limits. 314 00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,858 The yarn is broken. 315 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,693 Upstairs. 316 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:03,795 I said "upstairs"! 317 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:07,265 Okay. This is officially nuts. 318 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,467 You need to put an end to this. 319 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,168 Me? You're the adult! 320 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:14,172 I'm the cool grandpa. I can't be the bummer. 321 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,874 You be the bummer. 322 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:16,708 Oh! 323 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,009 Uh, there's a pizza on the record player. 324 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,446 (needle scratching) it's bad for the needle. 325 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,150 You people are disgusting! 326 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,886 What the hell are you doing? 327 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,320 It's a sweater party. 328 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,388 That's not a thing! 329 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,491 Stop encouraging this. You need to shut it down. 330 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,659 Shut it down? 331 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,995 No way! This is my party. 332 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:41,566 And I say we rage on until the crack of dawn! 333 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,600 All: Yeah! 334 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:47,572 Well, I say we each pick up one piece of trash and leave! 335 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,773 All: Boo! 336 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,810 (cups clatter) 337 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:52,877 Smile all you want. That's it. 338 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:56,181 I'm calling the hotel where mom and dad are staying. 339 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,816 I see what this is. 340 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:58,383 You're jealous 341 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,486 'cause I've thrown the greatest party of all time. 342 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,655 Look around. It's not your party. 343 00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,790 These are all my friends. 344 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,592 Yo, ari. 345 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:08,893 Whose party is this? 346 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:12,697 Erica's throwing a going-away party for the swedish dude. 347 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,400 It doesn't matter. Lexy bloom's here. 348 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,035 She came to see me. 349 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,037 Oh, did she? 350 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,511 Barry, wait. 351 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,247 I didn't mean to... (sighs) 352 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,018 That did not go well. 353 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:34,853 No, it did not. 354 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,055 Why are you so mad at me? 355 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,189 I saw the look on your face. 356 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,725 You were thrilled to be back out there on that court. 357 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,494 You know why I don't talk about the past? 358 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,595 I'm gonna tell you. 359 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,330 Because it was great. 360 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,066 I was class president. I was a basketball star. 361 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,033 I was a hero. 362 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:53,104 And now I'm just none of those things. 363 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,507 Have you ever tried shooting the ball this way? 364 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:59,010 It was a very common shooting style! 365 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:02,614 Adult adam: Turns out, my dad wasn't the only one kicking himself. 366 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,648 Barry's big chance 367 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,216 To become a legend and win over lexy bloom 368 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,153 Had literally been kissed goodbye. 369 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,855 What's shaking, gustav? (scoffs) 370 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,157 I wish I was gustav. 371 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,426 Except for that weird fish lunch he always brings. 372 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:19,364 So, why you out here, missing your own party? 373 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,566 Well, it has come to my attention 374 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:22,433 That this is erica's party, 375 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,036 And I'm just a big, giant, invisible bag of suck. 376 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,071 Oh, come on. You're not invisible. 377 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:30,141 You're barry goldberg, the guy who freaked out on the lunch lady 378 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,409 Because they ran out of pudding. 379 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,879 Why is that the only thing anyone ever remembers about me? 380 00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,816 Hey, they promised pudding. They had no pudding. 381 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,185 It was a dark day. Mmm. 382 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,520 Look, I know you feel like this year was a bust, 383 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:45,690 But you did a ton of cool stuff. 384 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,792 Karate in the talent show. 385 00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,427 You're on the wrestling team. 386 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,261 You did that rap video 387 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,996 About stone cold groovin' on a ferris wheel. 388 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,966 You like my rap? It's hilarious. 389 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,969 Wait, that's what you were going for, right? 390 00:13:58,737 --> 00:13:59,370 Yeah! 391 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,773 How do you know so much stuff about me? 392 00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,107 Your sister's my best friend. 393 00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,642 I've known you my whole life, 394 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,911 And I can honestly say there's... 395 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,513 No one like you. 396 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:08,980 Thanks. 397 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,416 Adult adam: Who knew my sister's wild, bad-influence best friend 398 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,118 Would be the one to remind my brother that he was special 399 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,622 In his own bizarre, barry kind of way? 400 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,790 (chuckles) now stop pouting 401 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,760 And come show erica's friends whose party it really is. 402 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,697 Adult adam: For the first time in ages, 403 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,266 Things were looking up for my big bro. 404 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,735 It didn't last long. 405 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,538 Oh, god! 406 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,373 Oh, balls! 407 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,244 Uh...Everybody try and clean up a little bit! 408 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,247 I... I'm going to bed! Everyone, run! 409 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,515 (screams) 410 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:47,118 Adult adam: As barry watched my parents get out of that car, 411 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,422 He knew there was only one thing to do... Freak out. 412 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,558 Mom! Dad! 413 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,392 Why are you home? 414 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,326 You're supposed to be at the hotel! 415 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,962 There was a banquet! Who skips a banquet? 416 00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:58,563 A party? 417 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,331 I don't even like my own kids, 418 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,000 Let alone a house full of other people's! 419 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,770 Murray! Oh, my god. They're wearing my sweaters! 420 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,572 No! Those aren't yours! 421 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,241 It's a look that's happening! Watch mtv! 422 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,976 Yeah, I'm sure all the young boys 423 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,245 Are wearing leopard sweaters. 424 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,146 Hey! 425 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,514 That's my leopard! 426 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,215 Okay, fine. 427 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,183 Clearly, you're gonna kill me, and... 428 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,251 Yes! Yes, I am! 429 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,953 Do it, murray. Do it with your hands. 430 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,188 Just hear me out, please. 431 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,257 I'm nothing like you, dad. 432 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,860 I don't dominate in high school. 433 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,461 I don't hold sports records. 434 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,498 People only know me 'cause I get angry at pudding. 435 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,334 Listen, you've had your glory days, 436 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,403 And they sounded awesome. 437 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,738 But this, in there, 438 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,308 This is the best I'm ever gonna do. 439 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,945 Oh, boopie. That's so sad. 440 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,113 But you are in so much trouble. 441 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:49,714 But...Aww. 442 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,950 I'm begging you. This is my moment. 443 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,987 All I'm asking for is seven more hours of nonstop partying. 444 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,922 Absolutely not. 445 00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,090 You got 10 minutes. 446 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,993 Seriously? Yeah, but do me a favor. 447 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,896 Make this a night you'll always remember. 448 00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:07,699 You are the greatest father on this planet. 449 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,101 Adult adam: As my brother desperately sprinted off 450 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,669 For his 10 minutes of glory, 451 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,838 My dad realized he could still be a hero 452 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,873 To someone who actually mattered. 453 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,409 Awful parenting choice. 454 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,510 Just awful. 455 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:23,214 You've seen him run. He needs this. 456 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,549 (bon jovi's livin' on a prayer playing) 457 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:29,020 ♪ tommy used to work on the docks 458 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,321 ♪ union's been on strike 459 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,690 ♪ he's down on his luck 460 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,526 ♪ it's tough 461 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,896 ♪ so tough 462 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,467 ♪ gina works the diner all day ♪ 463 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,568 Adult adam: This was it... 464 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,736 Barry's year was coming to a close, 465 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:47,305 And it all came down to 10 magical minutes. 466 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,039 ♪ working for her man 467 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,241 ♪ she brings home her pay for love 468 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:50,942 ♪ mmm, for love ♪ 469 00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:53,311 Adult adam: He knew there was only one way to leave his mark. 470 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,779 That was on the dance floor. 471 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,214 ♪ she says we've got to hold on... ♪ 472 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,349 Adult adam: He may have been a far cry from michael jackson. 473 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,284 But in that moment, he sure felt like him. 474 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,586 ♪ 'cause it doesn't make a difference... ♪ 475 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:02,920 It wasn't just barry's enthusiasm 476 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,622 That brought the crowd together. 477 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,191 It was his giant '80s boom box 478 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,761 Blasting out the anthem of our youth. 479 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,629 And it sounded like this. 480 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,563 ♪ we'll give it a shot 481 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,167 All: ♪ oh, we're halfway there 482 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:20,304 ♪ whoa, livin' on a prayer 483 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,240 ♪ take my hand 484 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,808 ♪ we'll make it, I swear 485 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:28,279 ♪ whoa, livin' on a prayer ♪ 486 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:28,880 Who is that guy? 487 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,783 That's barry goldberg. This is his party. (all cheering) 488 00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:35,186 ♪ tommy's got his six string in hock 489 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,120 ♪ now he's holding in ♪ 490 00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,688 Dude, lexy bloom's looking over here. 491 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,424 ♪ what used to make him talk so tough ♪ 492 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,058 What do I do? 493 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,360 I'm gonna help you out. You ready to make her jealous? 494 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,494 Make her what? 495 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,696 ♪ it's tough 496 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,734 ♪ gina dreams of running away 497 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:50,802 ♪ when she cries in the night ♪ 498 00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:53,271 What are you doing? Ow! I don't know! 499 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,338 What are you doing? 500 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:57,375 ♪ tommy whispers, "baby, it's okay 501 00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:01,312 ♪ "someday" 502 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,949 ♪ we've got to hold on to what we've got ♪ 503 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:10,388 This is the greatest night of my life! 504 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,390 Yeah! 505 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:13,357 Time's up! 506 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,525 Get the hell out of my house! 507 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,227 And leave my (bleep) sweaters! 508 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,564 Adult adam: Naturally, my brother was grounded for the entire summer. 509 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,266 And you get to take all my sweaters to the dry cleaners. 510 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,903 Adult adam: But sometimes, those magic moments are worth it. 511 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,139 I'm very upset. You have a lot of nerve, young man. 512 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,909 Adult adam: It was a night he'd carry with him forever, 513 00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,945 A night no one could take away. 514 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:39,217 For one brief moment, barry goldberg was a legend. 515 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,885 (guitar solo) 516 00:18:49,661 --> 00:18:54,265 You... You want to hear about, uh, how I met lou reed? 517 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,734 Uh, yeah. 518 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,401 Okay. It was 1965... 519 00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:00,371 Adult adam: Sure, my dad would always be the kind of guy 520 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:03,274 Who loved his tv and his la-z-boy, 521 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,342 But after that fateful night, 522 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,311 He found it easier to open up a bit more. 523 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,113 Swish, baby! 524 00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,948 Ah. 525 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,783 Okay, by my count, 526 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,219 You've missed the last 22 shots. 527 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:18,189 Just do it my way once. 528 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,790 (sighs) fine. 529 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,993 ♪ oh, we're halfway there 530 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,162 ♪ whoa, livin' on a prayer ♪ 531 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:24,996 Swish, baby! 532 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,930 New shooting style! 533 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,231 Adult adam: And, even crazier, 534 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,767 Barry got my dad, the free-throw king 535 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,803 Back on the court for some actual pointers. 536 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:33,671 Intangibles! 537 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,740 Adult adam: It didn't help much. 538 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,074 Beverly: Oh, honey. 539 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,410 You're delicious no matter how bad you are. 540 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,245 Oh, damn it, barry! 541 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:42,547 Adult adam: When it comes to my childhood, 542 00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:46,350 I may not always remember exactly when something happened, 543 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,318 Or exactly who was there 544 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,656 But I do know that it was 1980-something 545 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,824 And it was awesome. 546 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,626 Doo! Doo, doo, doo! 547 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,695 Stop videotaping! 548 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,163 Get out! Mom! 549 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,365 Stop! I swear... 550 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,334 (breathing rapidly) 551 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,635 Death blow. 552 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,937 Death blow. 553 00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:06,938 (grunting) 554 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,739 You're aggravating me, you little bastard! 555 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,275 He's aggravating me, the little bastard! 556 00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,610 Why are you hitting yourself, huh? 557 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,946 What did your face ever do to you? Ow. 558 00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:16,113 (grunts) ow. 559 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,281 Open up. No! 560 00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,584 No! No! No! No! 561 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:24,088 (speaking indistinctly) no. No. No. No. 562 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,423 (laughs) 563 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,123 Pops: My god. 564 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,358 This house is going nuts. 565 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,393 This house is going nuts. 566 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,094 I am optimus prime, 567 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,729 And I am a good guy, and I will kick your butt! 568 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,631 (knocking on door) who's there? 569 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,999 Murray: Get dressed now! 570 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,767 Man: Get dressed now. 571 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,135 And this is it. 572 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:41,172 Ahhh! That hurt! Ahhh! 573 00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,643 Whoa, what a night. 574 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,811 What's up? You got any oj? 575 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,412 I'm sorry, what the hell are you doing here? 576 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,015 Ah, I passed out in the basement during the party. 577 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,216 Take off my sweater and get out. 578 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,353 What's in it for me? Nothing. It's my sweater. 579 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,321 Fine. (sighs) 580 00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,256 Show me your boobs. No. 581 00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,624 Then give me a million dollars. No. 582 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,692 I'd very much like to revisit the boob conversation. 583 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,628 I feel like we've done this once before. 584 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,896 Did it end in boobs? No. 585 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:06,530 Tell me something. 586 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:09,567 When was the last time you had a balanced breakfast? 587 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,001 Every day. 588 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:12,136 Protein from beef jerky, energy from frosting. 589 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:14,505 Sweetie, sit down. I'm gonna make you some food. 590 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,306 You're gonna eat it. 591 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:19,176 Then you're gonna take off my sweater and get the hell out. 592 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,413 Morning, barry. (sighs)