1 00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:01,734 Adult adam: Anyone who grew up in the '80s will tell you 2 00:00:01,736 --> 00:00:04,470 There's those huge moments you'll never forget. 3 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,473 Mary lou retton winning the gold... 4 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:08,574 Hands across america... 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,642 The fall of the berlin wall... 6 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,378 Alf eating his first cat. 7 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,980 But the thing I remember most was this... 8 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:15,647 My first kiss. 9 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,851 It was with dana caldwell, the girl down the block, 10 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:19,918 And with the new school year, 11 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,286 It was time to define our relationship. 12 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,989 Mixtape. It's a genius move, pops. 13 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,492 I can say everything I need to say to dana 14 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,494 Without actually having to say it. 15 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,495 Forget the tape. 16 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:30,963 Trust me, I know about women. 17 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:34,133 If you like a girl, you tell her face-to-face. 18 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,335 Here's what I know about women... 19 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,037 They confuse and terrify me. 20 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,071 I'm making a mixtape. 21 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,939 Someone say mixtape? 22 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,541 It's your lucky day. 23 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,109 You came to the right guy. 24 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,244 But I didn't come to you. 25 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,078 You literally just came to me. 26 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,314 You can't just throw some top 40 stuff on a tape. 27 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,749 You need to tell a story, 28 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,318 Create a narrative about your love. 29 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,720 All right, first question... 30 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,955 Is she your girl? I don't know. 31 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:57,890 I haven't seen her all summer. 32 00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,825 She went to tennis camp. I went to space camp. 33 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,628 Good. She's an athlete. You're a nerd. 34 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:07,099 First song... Paula abdul, "opposites attract." 35 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,000 I'm listening. 36 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:08,967 Next song, we reel her in 37 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:13,539 With a silky slow jam by yours truly, big tasty. 38 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:14,807 I'm not listening. Too late. 39 00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,743 Next song, we go with a classic... 40 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,746 Def leppard's "pour some sugar on me." 41 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,448 That song's nasty. 42 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,348 Exactly! 43 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,516 Adult adam: Nasty wasn't my style... 44 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,319 So I spent the entire night making an epic mixtape. 45 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:32,691 It was the perfect blend of chicago, rem, inxs, and weird al. 46 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,692 It was pure romance. 47 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,829 And that's our first official mixtape. 48 00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:39,431 I hope you like it as much as I like you. 49 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:43,635 And just like that, I had created a piece of musical art... 50 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,003 A veritable love letter for the ears, 51 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:48,574 Guaranteed to capture the heart of any woman. 52 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,010 Unfortunately, it captured the heart of the wrong woman. 53 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:52,845 (tape switches off) 54 00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,480 Snuggle monster. Whoa! Whoa! 55 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,415 What's happening? What time is it? 56 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,182 2:00 a.M. 57 00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,317 I was just downstairs cleaning, 58 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:02,688 And I found the mixture tape you made for me. 59 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:03,755 Oh, oh. 60 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,923 Mom, here's the thing... 61 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,925 I just couldn't wait till morning 62 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:10,062 To let you know that I love you, too. 63 00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:10,929 Boop! 64 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,030 Adult adam: It was a rookie mistake 65 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,766 To leave anything lying around my house, 66 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,601 But my mom wasn't so crazy 67 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,904 That she would actually think it was for her, right? 68 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,340 You're still in here, aren't you? 69 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,342 (whispers) love you. 70 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:31,383 You got to tell her that mixtape was meant for dana. 71 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:35,220 I can't do that. Look how happy she is. 72 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,655 It would shatter her to pieces. 73 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,290 Well, you better find a way, 74 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:42,394 'cause you're heading down a very dark road here. 75 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,998 Fluffy and delicious, just like you. 76 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,466 Oh! Mom... 77 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,201 Uh, listen. 78 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,035 I need to tell you something. 79 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:54,806 Oh, sweet boy, you've already said it all with that tape. 80 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,176 Truth is, I was terrified. 81 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,277 You're in middle school now. 82 00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,611 That's how old barry and erica were 83 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,812 When they stopped loving me. 84 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,415 But now that you've made me this tape, 85 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:07,553 I know that you still love your mama, 86 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,922 And you always will. 87 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,456 Here's the thing, mom. 88 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,424 Adult adam: Pops was right. 89 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,928 It was time to come clean, or do this. 90 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,129 I need a copy. 91 00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,163 Why? So... 92 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,866 We can listen to it at the same time. 93 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,001 Aww. How adorable. 94 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:23,869 And you know what? 95 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,671 Tomorrow night after school, 96 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:26,672 We're getting milkshakes 97 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,275 And going to that "die hard" movie you've wanted to see. 98 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,277 "die hard"! That's r-rated! 99 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,012 No admission without an adult. 100 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,815 Well, you got your adult right here, mister. 101 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,084 Did you just make a date with your mother? 102 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:43,388 Yes! This whole situation is super messed up! 103 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,757 Damn it. Who ate all the boo berry? 104 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:49,394 I gave it to adam 'cause he's my favorite kid. 105 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,964 What? You can't say that out loud. 106 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,632 Oh, I can, and I just did. 107 00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,534 Both of you, look at me. 108 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,235 Adam's my favorite. 109 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,003 Yeah, I'm okay with it. Me, too. 110 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,173 Adult adam: Yep, it was a dark road, all right. 111 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,374 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 112 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,944 ¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say 113 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:09,748 ¶ I don't know the future 114 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,452 ¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 115 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,120 Adult adam: It was September 4, 1980-something, 116 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:19,725 And erica was kicking off the school year in a big way... 117 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,460 With a fake I.D. 118 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,296 Well, nice to make your acquaintance, sophia lopez. 119 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,898 Give it back. You don't want to share it with me? 120 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,833 That's not very generous, 121 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,234 Considering you're an organ donor 122 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,670 From the great state of new hampshire. 123 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,673 Forget you saw this, understand? 124 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,307 No can do. 125 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,010 I have a pornographic memory. 126 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:38,543 I want in. 127 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:41,446 No way. You can't handle a fake I.D. 128 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,681 You'll immediately get caught 129 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,515 And ruin it for everyone. 130 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,018 Well, if you don't help me get one, I'm telling dad. 131 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,686 You wouldn't. Dad! 132 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:48,287 Shut up. Dad! 133 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,355 You know he always comes on the third "dad" 134 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,990 'cause he can't ignore it anymore, 135 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,091 And the man won't be happy 136 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,227 'cause he'll have to walk the stairs. 137 00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,829 He hates to walk the stairs. 138 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,232 I don't care. I'm not helping you. 139 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,300 Dad! Murray: What? 140 00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,369 Why are you calling my name? What do you want? 141 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,571 The hell's so damn important 142 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,507 That you make me walk the stairs? 143 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,610 Well, I just discovered that erica is... 144 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,545 Ow. Gonna help her brother. 145 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,546 Thank you for your time. 146 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,315 Adult adam: What came next was a classic 147 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,016 Murray goldberg golden rule... 148 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,217 One he said every day. 149 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,920 Okay, whatever you two are up to, 150 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,989 I'm not bailing you out. 151 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,691 Both: Understood. 152 00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:27,659 Yeah. 153 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,062 Guess I'm downstairs for the rest of the day. 154 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,031 Adult adam: While barry's year was looking up, 155 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,567 I was about to lock it down with dana. 156 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,602 So, do you want to ride our bikes later? 157 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,304 I found a dead snake and I was wondering 158 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,640 If you wanted to poke it with a stick or something. 159 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,974 Actually, um, a bunch of people 160 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,276 Are going to laserium tonight. 161 00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,178 You know, the laser-light show. 162 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,779 Do you want to go together? 163 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,582 Adult adam: I had a perfect opening to take pop's advice 164 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,585 And be honest with my special lady. 165 00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,722 Instead, I did this. 166 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,657 Here. Got to go. 167 00:05:58,825 --> 00:05:59,424 It's a mixtape! 168 00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:03,462 The good news was I had a date with dana caldwell. 169 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,663 The bad news... 170 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,864 I was double booked. 171 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,699 Who's ready for our movie date? 172 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,234 I bought a new sweater. 173 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:13,538 Yeah, I was thinking, about our date... 174 00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:17,142 Maybe we can hang out on Saturday instead? 175 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,643 Really? Yeah! 176 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:19,811 Make a whole day of it. 177 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,614 Pack a picnic, hit the park, 178 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,448 Get a paddle boat. 179 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,685 I mean, I don't want to be stuck in some movie. 180 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,586 I want to talk, 181 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,289 Find out what makes you tick, really dig in. 182 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,858 What do you think? 183 00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,993 Holy (bleep) I love that idea! 184 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,462 I love it. (both laughing) 185 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,797 Great. 186 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:39,631 See you on Saturday. 187 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,333 Adult adam: While I was spinning my web of lies, 188 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:45,103 My brother and sister were working on a deception of their own. 189 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,572 Uh, with double prints, your film comes out to $17.23. 190 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,241 Before the age of digital cameras, 191 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,109 You actually had to venture across town 192 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,579 To get your pictures from a creepy guy in a vest. 193 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,313 There's your pictures. 194 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,083 Nice pecs. What do you do, high weight, low reps? 195 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,419 Yeah. I do arms on weekends, 196 00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:01,153 Legs on Thursday. 197 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,622 Let me do the talking. Of course. 198 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,257 Hi. Hey. 199 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,525 Remember me? 200 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,092 Sophia lopez. 201 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,395 I was here last week. I want a fake I.D., okay? 202 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,897 (chuckles) 203 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:12,864 You a cop? 204 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,232 You wearing a wire, buddy? Huh? 205 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,034 What's that strap? What's down here? 206 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,069 All right, if you are wearing a wire 207 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,005 And I catch you, you have to retire 208 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,940 From the force that day without a pension. 209 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,175 That's the law. 210 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:23,842 Nobody's wearing a wire, 211 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,812 And you should probably read a law book. 212 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:27,879 Hmm. 213 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,181 All right, let's do this. 214 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,216 Step into the cutout. 215 00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,084 Step into the future. 216 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,352 This is so high-tech. 217 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,153 Yes, it is exciting. 218 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,656 All right, smile. And three, two, one. 219 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,523 Dude, what are you doing? 220 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,258 No. Just act normal. Lose the hat. Come on. 221 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,994 But zeus alexander washington always wears a hat. 222 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,696 Oh, no. That's your name? 223 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,564 That's too many letters, dude. 224 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,765 That's too weird. It's too stupid. 225 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,767 I like my second choice better anyway... 226 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:49,935 James bond. Taken. 227 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,002 Barry bonds. Also taken. 228 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,370 Barry fakington! What's wrong with you? 229 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,606 Just pick a normal name already. 230 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,208 Barry goldberg! That's your name. 231 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,577 Erica goldberg. Idiot, that is my name! 232 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,946 Sir richard chamberlain. Stop panicking! 233 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:01,613 Mr. Clock table! 234 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,582 Now you're just saying things that you see. 235 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,184 I'll pick you a name, dude, all right? 236 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,588 Adult adam: And just like that, barry had his new identity. 237 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,256 Carlos del monaco 238 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,691 Of mehoopany, pennsylvania. 239 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,559 As barry was getting a new identity, 240 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,194 I was still getting up the nerve 241 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,530 To find out where I stood with dana. 242 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:21,099 Luckily, she made it easy for me. 243 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,335 I listened to the mixtape. 244 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,904 Oh. Did you like it? 245 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,240 I played it like four times. 246 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:29,641 You're a good boyfriend. 247 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,609 Adult adam: There it was. 248 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,677 Proof that if you never speak your feelings, 249 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,347 Eventually, the other person will. 250 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,516 That night, I was walking on air, 251 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,085 And nothing could bring me down. 252 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:40,652 Hi, shmoopy. 253 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,320 Beverly: Did you kids have fun? 254 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,356 For sure. Totally. 255 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,590 Well, everybody buckle up, 256 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,860 'cause we're about to take a musical journey... 257 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,129 With a special mixtape... 258 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,464 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! 259 00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,366 ...From my number-one guy. 260 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,101 Adam: Hey, it's me. 261 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,702 I made this tape special for you, 262 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,438 And all the songs on it remind me of us, 263 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,473 Especially this one, 264 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,674 'cause you're my inspiration. 265 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:07,379 ¶ you know our love was meant to be 266 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,514 (whispers) is that my mixtape? 267 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:14,386 ¶ the kind of love to last forever 268 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:15,987 Oh, balls. 269 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,558 ¶ and I want you here with me 270 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,893 You too, dana. It's fine. 271 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,928 What's going on? 272 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,529 Why does your mom have my mixtape? 273 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,764 (music stops ) oh, you're confused. 274 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:31,670 Um, adam made me that tape because I'm the inspiration. 275 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:32,604 What? 276 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,372 I thought I was the inspiration. 277 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,074 You are. Beverly: Uh... 278 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,409 I'm the inspiration. 279 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,177 Those words are on that tape, yes. 280 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,347 So, then, who's the inspiration, adam? 281 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,281 Yeah, adam. Who is the inspiration? 282 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:47,018 Did you give me and your mom the same mixtape? 283 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,621 Okay, both of you like to laugh, 284 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,723 So you'll appreciate this. 285 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,158 (chuckles) 286 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,092 Yes. This is weird. 287 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,362 I'm just gonna go grab a ride with my friends. 288 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,331 No! Yeah, bye, dana. 289 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,165 Don't go. 290 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,367 I made the tape for you, okay? 291 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,069 But my mom thought it was for her 292 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,670 Because she's a freaking lunatic! 293 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:08,506 I was just trying to spare her crazy feelings! 294 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:12,210 Well, I'm glad you spared her feelings. 295 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:16,214 Adult adam: I had seriously pissed off my girlfriend. 296 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:16,781 (door closes) 297 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,051 But maybe I could still salvage things with my mom. 298 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,286 So... 299 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,154 Is "die hard" still an option? 300 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,358 Adult adam: Yeah, no. Not happening. 301 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:28,760 Whoo! 302 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,630 Guess who just turned 25! 303 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:32,998 Carlos del monaco. 304 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,733 Who wants spray paint, 305 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,001 Lottery tickets? 306 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,936 I can vote, rent a car, 307 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,871 Lease a junior one-bedroom apartment. 308 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,473 I'm all man, all the time! 309 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:44,042 All right, party's over. Give me your fake I.D. 310 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,244 Fake I.D.? Where are you getting this? 311 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,147 I don't know. Maybe 'cause you've literally shown it 312 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,682 To every student in school. 313 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,019 I have been trying to ignore you all day. 314 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,954 So, I got carried away. 315 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:56,655 Come on, coach meller. 316 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,857 You remember the rush of having a fake I.D., right? 317 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,493 Ah, geez, all right. Just don't let me see it again. 318 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,294 You got it. These lips are zipped. 319 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,631 Yo. You the dude with the fake I.D.? 320 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,832 Yes, I am. 321 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,669 Carlos del monaco at your service. 322 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,303 I'm throwing an end-of-the-summer bash 323 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,271 At my place, seniors only, 324 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,305 But you can come if you score us some beer. 325 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,809 (scoffs) I can get you all the beers you want, young man. 326 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,911 How many beers we talking? Huh? Huh? Huh? 327 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,513 Five? 10? 328 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,682 Ten cases should be enough. 329 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,149 Ten cases? 330 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,751 Entire senior class is counting on you, buddy. 331 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,120 Don't let us down. 332 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,156 You got it. 333 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,157 You got it. 334 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,258 I'm gonna get the entire senior class 335 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:37,095 Totally loaded tonight with this little beauty right here. 336 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,798 No, you're not. Damn it! 337 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:41,700 Dana. Wait. 338 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,035 Look, I know you've been avoiding me, 339 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,439 But we've got to talk about what happened. 340 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:48,807 Okay. Talk. 341 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,875 Adult adam: Seemed like my only option was to finally do 342 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,245 What pops said and speak from the heart. 343 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,715 Or try the tape thing again. 344 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,317 Oh, I've made you a new mixtape. 345 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,719 Only for you. 346 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,519 "adam's sorry jams"? 347 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,688 Every title has the word "sorry" in it. 348 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,656 That's great, and if I lose that, 349 00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:07,092 I can always get the other copy from your mom. 350 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:07,926 (chuckles) funny stuff. 351 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:11,029 But we're still on for laserium Saturday, right? 352 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,264 I think I just need some space. 353 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,133 Space? Totally get it. 354 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,268 You're talking to the dude that went to space camp. 355 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,604 Adult adam: Even though all the women in my life were mad at me, 356 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:23,708 At least I could turn to a sweet cereal ghost for comfort. 357 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,777 Ah, boo berry. 358 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,113 Adult adam: Or not. 359 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,814 Aw, dang it. No more boo berry. 360 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,782 Beverly: Oh, I'm sorry. 361 00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,617 I gave the last of it to erica. 362 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,253 Looks like I'm the favorite kid now. 363 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,288 It won't last long, but I'm enjoying it. 364 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,857 Here you go, pumpkin loaf. 365 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,693 And you... Enjoy your tuna! 366 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:44,429 I know how well it keeps on long school days. 367 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,099 Adult adam: If I ever wanted boo berry or my mother's love again, 368 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,969 I had to give my mom a sincere apology... 369 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,671 That I meant for someone else. 370 00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:00,078 Hey, I made this for you special. 371 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,380 "adam's sorry jams." 372 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,915 Aww. 373 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,184 Sweet gesture. 374 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,920 Where's the case? The case? 375 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:09,721 Oh, no case. 376 00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:12,524 I wanted the music to speak for itself. 377 00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:15,493 What's that case-shaped thing in your pocket? 378 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,662 That's my uno deck. 379 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,296 I... 380 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,665 I have a big tournament at school. 381 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,766 Got to go. 382 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:22,400 Aah! Ooh-ooh-ooh! 383 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,235 I know you made that mixture tape for dana! 384 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,738 No boo berry for you ever again! 385 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,907 Adult adam: As bad as things were for me, 386 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,642 They were even worse for barry. 387 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,211 There you go, mur-man. Frosty cold one. 388 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,047 I didn't ask for this. What do you want? 389 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:36,447 Nothing. 390 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,683 I just thought I'd bring my old man a bottle of suds. 391 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,452 Speaking of, how many of those bad boys are in a case? 392 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,722 24. Damn it. That's so many beers. 393 00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,592 I mean, there's only four here. 394 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,160 Why don't we cruise down to wawa 395 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,328 And buy you a whole bunch more? 396 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,363 I'm not gonna buy you beer, moron. 397 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,465 (sputters) pardon me? 398 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,768 That's not what I'm asking you for. 399 00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:57,235 I'm just... 400 00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,972 I'm looking for a fun father-son activity, you know? 401 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:04,509 Like... Like buying beer. 402 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,444 Or making beer. 403 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,679 That'd be fun, right? 404 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,980 Let's go buy some yeast and barley 405 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,282 And start bonding in the bathtub. 406 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:11,749 Okay... 407 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,819 Whatever stupid thing you're up to, 408 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:15,987 I am not bailing you out. 409 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,188 I know you always say this, 410 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,957 But let's just pretend for one second 411 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,159 I did something real stupid. 412 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:21,659 I can do that. 413 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,828 Isn't it your legal responsibility 414 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,897 As my father to bail me out? 415 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,999 No. It's my responsibility 416 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:32,203 To make you face whatever dumbass decision you made head on, 417 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,505 Even if it kills you. 418 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,107 I'm a good dad. 419 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,377 Adult adam: Barry didn't get what he wanted out of my dad. 420 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:44,949 But turns out he got what he wanted out of my dad's wallet. 421 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,420 Whoo! 422 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,222 This should get me through the night. 423 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,457 I love beer. 424 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:53,892 This is all for you? 425 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,159 Sure is. 426 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,295 Missus is a yapper. 427 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,597 So... You're murray goldberg. 428 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:00,565 Yeah. 429 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,268 Work down at the old furniture store. 430 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,869 Have the three kids back at home. 431 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:08,573 I call 'em morons, but I secretly love them. 432 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:12,277 So, you're telling me that you're almost 50 years old? 433 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,745 I just look young. 434 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,481 Got a bit of a baby face. 435 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,349 I'm half hawaiian. 436 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,118 Aloha. 437 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,220 Okay, murray. 438 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,155 When's your birthday? 439 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,124 Oh, I should know this. 440 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,825 Damn it! 441 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,395 Obviously, I, uh... 442 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:30,962 I drink a lot. 443 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,264 You do know that your father comes in here every morning 444 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,833 For a cup of coffee, right? No, I did not. 445 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,436 I think I'm gonna ring up your father. 446 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,638 Thank you for your time. 447 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,176 Adult adam: It was Friday night. 448 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,011 Dwayne martin's senior party. 449 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,113 Even though barry lost his fake I.D. 450 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,081 And my dad's real one, 451 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,284 He was still determined to be the hero. 452 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,120 You are in so much trouble! 453 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:56,454 Dad? 454 00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,591 If you think I'm gonna let you go into that party with a bag full of... 455 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,293 Sandwiches? Where's the beer? 456 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,995 There is no beer. 457 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:04,762 But I went to lee's hoagies 458 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,265 And bought cheesesteaks and patty melts and heroes. 459 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,501 Why? 'cause when you arrive to the party with a hero, 460 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,971 They'll think you're a hero. 461 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,940 And another name for a hoagie is a hero! 462 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,276 And I want to be a hero! 463 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,844 You're a moron! 464 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:20,445 I know. 465 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,848 I mean, you spent their beer money on sandwiches? 466 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,682 What's wrong with you? 467 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,085 Just wanted this year to be different. 468 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,686 You know, for... 469 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,954 For once, I want to go to a party 470 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,789 Where people were actually excited to see me. 471 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,725 (door opens) dwayne: Yo! 472 00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:35,393 Adult adam: The moment had arrived. 473 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,327 Collars were popped, 474 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,963 Which meant tension was high. 475 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,266 My dad had a choice. 476 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,803 He could do what he always said and not bail barry out, 477 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,740 Or he could do this... 478 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:50,575 Damn it, barry! 479 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:55,513 If you think you can take this ice-cold, delicious beer, 480 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,282 Some of it very expensive from germany, 481 00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,717 You got another thing coming! 482 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:03,421 It's a good thing I came here! Let's go! 483 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,322 Fight the power, carlos. 484 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:08,893 Adult adam: My brother may have failed, but my dad gave him a victory. 485 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,795 (cheering) 486 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,566 Hey, honey. 487 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,735 You okay? 488 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,339 Kids used to make me stuff like this all the time. 489 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:24,342 I used to think I'd need a bigger box. 490 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,643 Guess not. 491 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:31,015 You do know that no son makes a mixtape for his mom. 492 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,519 I guess I just wanted it to be true. 493 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:38,423 I don't want adam turning out horrible like the others. 494 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,559 Honey, he's a teenager. They're all horrible. 495 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,995 But it's just so hard, you know? 496 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:44,996 I mean, when they're young, 497 00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,697 They just love you so much. 498 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,834 And then they grow up and they don't. 499 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,903 Hey, adam loves you. 500 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,037 The fact that he didn't tell you 501 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,741 The truth about the tape just shows you how much. 502 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,744 But when it comes to him and dana, 503 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,345 You got to stay out of it. 504 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,215 Oh, my god. You're right. 505 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,451 Guess I kind of made it more complicated for him. 506 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:10,221 He's a smart kid. He'll figure it out. 507 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:10,888 You're right. 508 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,958 I have to help him figure it out. 509 00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,627 What? No. Don't get involved. 510 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,062 Yes. Get involved! 511 00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:22,700 Make a grand gesture to help win dana back for my little boy! 512 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:23,434 What's happening? 513 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,237 Are we even having the same conversation? 514 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,538 Don't do that! 515 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,639 I am gonna do that! 516 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,775 Dad, you are the best. Mwah! 517 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,910 (laughing) I'm gonna do it! 518 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:37,915 ¶ baby, you're the meaning in my life 519 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,685 ¶ you're the inspiration 520 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,019 ¶ you bring me meaning to my life ¶ 521 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,655 Adam: Excuse me. I'm sorry. Adam? 522 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,524 We need to talk. 523 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,427 If you got another tape, just leave it. 524 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:52,029 No. No more tapes. Just words. 525 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,032 I should've just told you how I felt, okay? 526 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,667 Told you that I really like you. 527 00:18:56,669 --> 00:19:00,872 Told you that I never felt this way about anyone. 528 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:01,706 And... 529 00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,342 I'd do anything to be your boyfriend. 530 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,711 Adult adam: I didn't know if she was buying it, 531 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,313 Then this happened. 532 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:13,451 ¶ you should know 533 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,387 ¶ everywhere I go 534 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,890 ¶ always on my mind 535 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,324 ¶ in my heart, in my soul ¶ 536 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,660 I can't believe you did this. 537 00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:25,496 Yeah. It's unbelievable. 538 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,700 ¶ you're the inspiration 539 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,737 ¶ you bring feeling to my life 540 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:36,073 ¶ you're the inspiration 541 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:36,908 (softly) thank you. 542 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,309 ¶ want to have you near me 543 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:42,847 ¶ I want to have you hear me sayin' 544 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,082 ¶ no one needs you more than I need you 545 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,450 Oh, my god. How did you pull this off? 546 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,219 I guess I just know the right person. 547 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,388 Adult adam: Turns out my mom broke into the control booth 548 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:54,892 And terrified the engineer, but she actually saved me. 549 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:59,664 So, you're finally the hero. 550 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,432 I hope it felt good. 551 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,668 Yep. Thanks to you. 552 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,002 You know, after all that big talk, 553 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,104 In the end, you still rescued me. 554 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:08,573 Well, don't get used to it. 555 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,575 It'll never happen again. 556 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,142 Come on. 557 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,910 We both know you'll always bail me out. 558 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,612 No, I won't. Yes, you will. 559 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,681 No, I won't. 560 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,616 Yes, you will. 561 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,884 (sighs) 562 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,619 Yes, I will. 563 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,387 But don't tell the others. 564 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,256 ¶ always on my mind 565 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,525 ¶ no one needs you more than I 566 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,360 Adult adam: That's the thing about parents. 567 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,263 No matter how hard we make it for them, 568 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,599 They always bail us out. 569 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,637 Adam: Hi, dana. 570 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,638 (dinging) 571 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,341 I never thought I'd say this, but I love you, 572 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,543 And remember, you're the everything, 573 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,112 And here's the song by r.E.M., 574 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,348 "you are the everything." 575 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,116 There you go. A new boat, huh? 576 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,284 Your wife loves to water ski. 577 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:57,388 I like the one-piece, but the bikini really works on her. 578 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,256 How you doing, old-timer? 579 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,091 My granddaughter, sophia lopez, 580 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,860 Said that you might know how to fabricate 581 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,662 An identification. 582 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,531 Let's just say I could do such a thing. 583 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,833 Why would a distinguished gentleman 584 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,901 Like yourself require such an item? 585 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,303 Let's just say 586 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,272 I told a younger woman I was 60 587 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,306 And need a way to prove it. 588 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,508 Can you help? It depends. 589 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:18,209 Are you a cop? 590 00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,877 Because if you lie and bust me, 591 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:20,578 Not only do I go free, 592 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,713 I get to keep your badge for a year. 593 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,982 That's the law. I have $200 cash. 594 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,084 Step into the cutout.