1 00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:04,203 Adult adam: Growing up, my mom was many things, 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,338 But cool was definitely not one of them. 3 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,307 She would seriously leave the house like that. 4 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:12,077 You're not seriously gonna leave the house like that, are you? 5 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,979 Of course not. 6 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:17,783 (clicks tongue) 7 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:22,421 She was an absolute stickler for her uncool rules... 8 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,158 Curfew is 11:00. 9 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:26,625 It's 11:04. 10 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,627 Adult adam: Even the way she worried about us was uncool. 11 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,429 Do you know what could happen in four minutes? 12 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,132 You could drown, choke, eat poison berries. 13 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,166 And if any of that happens, 14 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,567 Then I have failed as a mother. 15 00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,403 Adult adam: But the most uncool thing of all 16 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,772 Was how much our mom loved us. 17 00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:41,907 I made these people, me. 18 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:44,643 I made them with my body. (chuckles) 19 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,278 Oh! There's this one now. 20 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,313 Hey, erica, it's your mom. 21 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,015 Erica, it's your mother! 22 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,351 Hi, erica and erica's friends! 23 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,920 Oh, my god. Mom, what are you wearing? 24 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:55,587 Isn't this adorable? 25 00:00:55,589 --> 00:01:00,959 That kiosk uses technology to put memories on a t-shirt. 26 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,593 It's totally cool. 27 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,497 Oh, jill, look. There's your mom, too. Louise! 28 00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:08,967 Adult adam: Louise rubin, the cool mom. 29 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,503 There's always one, hip, youthful, 30 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,404 And wouldn't be caught dead 31 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,406 In a shirt with her kids' faces on it. 32 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:18,177 Yep, she was the anti-beverly. 33 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,546 Oh, look what you've got on. 34 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,081 (chuckles) oh. 35 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,615 What are the chances, huh? 36 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,818 Are you here to celebrate choctoberfest 37 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,686 At the fudge emporium, too? 38 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,254 Nope. Just hanging with the girls. 39 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:33,225 Which girls? These girls. We just did our nails. 40 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:33,659 Oh... 41 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,228 So, you drove them here and had to wait in the car 42 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,263 While they enjoyed themselves, huh? 43 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,932 Mom, she's hanging with us, okay? 44 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,333 We're here to get the new madonna album. 45 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,536 Don't you just love... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 46 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,572 When you said you were going to the mall 47 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,574 With your friend louise, I thought that meant 48 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,809 A girl from your class, not mrs. Rubin. 49 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,478 Ugh, I don't want them to call me that. 50 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,646 It makes me feel like such a mom, you know? 51 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,415 Oh, psst. Yeah. 52 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,184 That's why I like erica's friends to call me bev. 53 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,520 Sounds good, bev. Don't like it. Go back. 54 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:04,022 Okay, this was fun. See you at dinner? 55 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,825 Yep. Got to fix some din-din. 56 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,360 Hmm. (chuckles) 57 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,928 Chicken's not gonna pot-pie itself, 58 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,030 Know what I'm sayin'? (chuckles) 59 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:12,965 Cool. Nice catching up, bev. 60 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:16,068 Okay, see you on the flip-flop! (chuckles) 61 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:16,935 The nerve of that woman, 62 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,371 Cold chillin' with my daughter at the mall. 63 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:22,174 Erica should be cold chillin' with me, not her! 64 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,542 What are you talking about? 65 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,145 You cold chill with erica all the time. 66 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:26,678 No. 67 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,380 I only feed her soup when she's sick 68 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,850 And give her boric-acid drops when she's got pinkeye. 69 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,686 I'm in the trenches doing the important, boring stuff. 70 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:35,954 But when it comes time for fun, 71 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,190 Well, she heads straight to louise rubin. 72 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:41,493 Wait. We're talking about louise rubin here? 73 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,928 Oh, she's the coolest. 74 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,662 What? Yeah! 75 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,265 She'll cut the top off her shirt 76 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,933 Just to show her shoulder. 77 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:48,967 Well, I can do that. 78 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,604 See? I'm just as cool as the next mom. 79 00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:54,273 What are you doing? 80 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,409 I'm trying to expose my shoulder! 81 00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,212 Poop. I just stretched it out. 82 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,314 Stop stretching your sweater. 83 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,582 Okay. 84 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:03,949 Stop! 85 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,918 Well, I got to stretch my sweater out 86 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,519 So I can show my shoulder. 87 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,021 (mumbling) why won't you stop? 88 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:13,192 I don't know why you can't stop, but you need to stop! 89 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,393 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 90 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:19,298 ¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say 91 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:21,633 ¶ I don't know the future 92 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:25,204 ¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 93 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,506 Adult adam: It was October 22, 1980-something, 94 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:31,443 And I was spending the night with my apple ii plus. 95 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,679 It had a whopping 16k of ram, 96 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:37,115 Dot matrix printer, 32-bit color graphics, 97 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,751 And badass, thrill-a-minute video games 98 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,887 Like "oregon trail." 99 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,156 (beeping) 100 00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:44,923 Balls! (door opens) 101 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,358 (door closes) while I spent time with my computer, 102 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,961 Barry was hanging with his new crew of dudes. 103 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,530 They called themselves the "jenkintown posse." 104 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,198 Jtp! All: Jtp! 105 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,266 ...Jtp for short. 106 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,002 They were older, cooler, and lived on the edge. 107 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,071 There was jeff schwartz, the madman... 108 00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,139 Potato chips on a sandwich? I'm crazy! 109 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,242 (laughing) andy cogan, the ladies' man 110 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,244 Who never let his height get in the way. 111 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,080 (sighs) can a brother get a steppin' stool? 112 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:08,914 ...And naked rob, 113 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,349 One of those dudes who loved getting nude. 114 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,584 This tank top's chafing me. I got to take it off. 115 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,152 Don't! Come on. Adam: Yo. 116 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,154 What you wild cats up to tonight? 117 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:20,859 Whatever it is, you know it'll involve some ladies! Aah! 118 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,793 How many ladies? 119 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,895 So many it's gonna be crazy! 120 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,497 (all laughing) oh, man. How crazy? 121 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,866 So crazy someone may get in-jured! 122 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,334 Barry: Yo, baby! It's on, baby! Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo! 123 00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,704 Details! Name some of the crazy stuff you guys did! 124 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,306 You know how our school's always trying 125 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,041 To get their hands on germantown high mascot? 126 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,677 You stole frankie the falcon? 127 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,379 Well, I mean, not yet. 128 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:44,449 But once we do it, we'll be kings of the school. 129 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,084 Jtp! Jtp! 130 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,886 All: Jtp! 131 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:48,754 Dude... 132 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,958 You can't say "jtp" unless you're in the jtp. 133 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,993 Adult adam: A man could only dream. 134 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,428 Jtp out! 135 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,831 To the jtp, I was just a nerd obsessed with computers. 136 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,001 That all changed the day porky's ii was sold out 137 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,837 And they were forced to see wargames, 138 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,872 A movie about a kid who hacks his way 139 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:10,442 To better grades and almost blows up the world. 140 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,677 (computer reading) 141 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:16,014 Oh. Suddenly, they all realized that computer were awesome! 142 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:20,552 Dude! I just saw the best movie ever! 143 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,920 Wargames. 144 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,255 All this time, I thought computers 145 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,724 Were for lazy-eyed losers like you, 146 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,626 But they're actually badass. 147 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,593 Thank you? 148 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,528 Can you do any of that stuff? 149 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,364 I can make you a really sweet banner. I have print shop. 150 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,499 Can you start a global thermonuclear war on this thing? 151 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,836 Probably. Don't do it! There is no winner. 152 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,537 What else? 153 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,339 But what about hacking the school? 154 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,406 Can you change my grades? 155 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:45,677 Well, I would if I was in the jtp. 156 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,446 Uh, it'll take some convincing 'cause the guys 157 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:51,216 All think you suck, but, I'll make it happen. 158 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,751 Welcome to the jenkintown posse. 159 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,786 While I was one step closer to coolness, 160 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:59,591 My mom was about to take 50 steps back. Stop, stop. 161 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,295 'sup, ladies? 162 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:05,664 ¶ when it feels like the world is on your shoulders ¶ 163 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,499 Why are you dressed like a giant doily? 164 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:11,036 Just expressing myself like our gal madonna. 165 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,705 Mom, that's el debarge. He's a dude. 166 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,240 And since when do you like madonna, anyway? 167 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:19,411 Oh, since I heard her rockin' song about staying a virgin. 168 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,012 It's very cool to wait. 169 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,347 Is that my sixth-grade tutu? 170 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,384 ¶ feel the beat of the rhythm mom, why, what are you doing with your hips? 171 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,852 ¶ dance until the morning light stop it with your hips. 172 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,354 ¶ forget about the worries on your mind why are you moving 173 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,088 Your hips like that? 174 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,023 ¶ you can leave them all behind ¶ mom? Okay. 175 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:32,858 No, mom, stop. (clicks) 176 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,961 Well, I just want to hang out with my girls, right? 177 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,195 Um, what do you say we, uh, 178 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:41,533 Read some teen magazines and gossip about boys? 179 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,534 I'll go first. 180 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,403 I like murray. You go, lainey. 181 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,672 Uh, you smudged your beauty mark all over your upper lip. 182 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,876 Okay, you need to go. Come on. 183 00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,043 What? 184 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:55,347 You let louise rubin hang out. Why not the bevernator? 185 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:55,847 I'm fun, too! 186 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,916 Of course you are, just not hang-out fun. 187 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,918 More like a "I have a freckle and I need you 188 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,386 "to tell me if it's worth being looked at 189 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,554 "by a dermatologist," kind of fun. 190 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,424 Every freckle is worth being looked at by a dermatologist. 191 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,859 Why don't you schedule an appointment for next weekend? 192 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,428 We can hang-out then, okay? 193 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,829 (sighs) yeah. 194 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,030 Adult adam: Madonna was a bust, 195 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,233 So my mom went to plan b, dermatology. 196 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,702 No, I can't wait six weeks to see dr. Krogen! 197 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,238 He's the last chance I have to bond with my daughter. 198 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,208 Please don't take this away from me! I'm begging you! 199 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,611 Adult adam: This sad display made the impossible happen, 200 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,379 My dad got off his ass. 201 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:30,949 Good news, you're gonna hang with your mom tomorrow. 202 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,584 (scoffs) no freaking way. 203 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,920 (chuckles) oh, yes freaking way. 204 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,788 Or else all the things I don't care about, 205 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,291 I'm gonna start having strong opinions on, 206 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,093 Like your allowance, gone! 207 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:42,994 No! 208 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,830 Curfew? 6:00 p.M. 209 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,398 What? Skirt length? 210 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,999 No skirts! What? 211 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,669 Just pants with pleats. 212 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,570 Not the pleats. 213 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,705 Oh-ho. Pleats a plenty. 214 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,574 Your mom is upstairs hurting, 215 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,310 And I can't bear to watch it. 216 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,645 So what's it gonna be? 217 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,981 Adult adam: As my sister was facing a night with my mom, 218 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:07,252 I was facing the reality of what hacking was in the '80s... 219 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,620 (beeping) 220 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,855 ...Impossible. 221 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,556 (static crackling) whoa! 222 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,492 This phone is sick or something. 223 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,461 Hang up! I'm trying to hack! 224 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:17,562 This is a nightmare. 225 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,431 I mean, I'm starting to think a major motion picture 226 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:23,502 Has lied to me about the capabilities of home computers. 227 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,270 Okay, relax. How can I help? 228 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,306 You can't! I'll never be in the jtp! 229 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,976 Come on, adam. You're a great kid. 230 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,011 Those guys will learn to love you 231 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,713 If you just be yourself. 232 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,548 Wait. Learning. 233 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,283 That's it! You're a genius! Really? 234 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,653 I just said some pat things to make you feel better, but I'll take it. 235 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,755 (beeping) if barry and his friends wanted me to hack, 236 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:48,860 That was exactly what I'd do, hack their brains. 237 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,529 Access granted. We're in. 238 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,163 Yes! Sweet! Awesome! 239 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,198 Okay, in order for me to hack your grades, 240 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,868 I'll need to go in and input all the data that'll be on your test. 241 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,703 Wait, why would you have to do that if... 242 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,571 No time to argue! 243 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,206 Jeff schwartz, which significant 244 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,875 Historical event occurred in October, 1929? 245 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,344 Um... The stock market crashed. 246 00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,179 Naked rob, verify. 247 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,014 He's right. He's right. 248 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,316 Uh, it ended the jazz age and began the great depression. 249 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,117 (keyboard clacking) 250 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,753 Andy cogan, what did president roosevelt 251 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,187 Call his program to jump-start the economy? 252 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,723 The new deal, enacted in 1933. 253 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,693 Okay, open your books to chapter 2. 254 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,461 Go, go, go! 255 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,463 Let's hack. 256 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:32,237 No, naked rob's right. It was plessy v. Ferguson. 257 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,341 So awesome we didn't have to learn this crap for the test. 258 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:36,942 Yeah. Yeah. 259 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,745 Adult adam: They weren't a smart crew, but now they were my crew. 260 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,482 Wow. That is a cauldron of cheese. 261 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,651 I read about it in tiger beat. 262 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,221 They say "fondue equals fun-due!" 263 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,590 (chuckles) do they? 264 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,558 So, let's go wild, huh? 265 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,294 Uh, oh! (gagging) 266 00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,664 Hot, hot, hot! Hot! (gasping) 267 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,299 (snaps fingers) excuse me? 268 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,702 I'd like to report some unsafe cheese. 269 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:07,539 What if someone tried to feed that to an infant or a dog? 270 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,609 Mom, look who it is! What a coincidence! 271 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:14,613 Erica, mrs. Goldberg, what are you guys doing here? 272 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:15,447 Beverly: Just hangin', 273 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,481 Not in like a mother-daughter way, 274 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,851 But more of like in a girlfriends way. Isn't that cool? 275 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,219 Lainey: (chuckles) totally. 276 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,221 Speaking of cool, we're gonna go volunteer 277 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,724 At the soup kitchen for extra credit. 278 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,958 Wait a minute, erica. 279 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,259 Don't you need some extra credit? 280 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:32,497 Thanks for looking out, jill. You're such a good friend. 281 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,700 Wow. Extra credit. (chuckles) 282 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,602 You should definitely do that. 283 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:41,640 Say, what's the name of this soup kitchen? 284 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:44,709 Um... 285 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:49,280 Helping hands, uh... Feeding needy men's 286 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:53,618 And a lady who is also hungry. 287 00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:55,620 We should go. Yeah. 288 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,288 You tried to ditch me? 289 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,790 My own daughter? Yes! 290 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:01,292 The only reason I'm here is because dad forced me. 291 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,560 Well, I'll tell you what, buttercup, 292 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,629 As of now, I'm ditching you. 293 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,930 What? You can't ditch me. 294 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,033 Oh, you've been ditched. Uh, no. 295 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,235 I'm the ditcher here, not you. 296 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,003 Well, the ditch got switched. 297 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,805 I will not be ditched. 298 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,640 The ditch is done. 299 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,480 Adult adam: The moment had finally come. 300 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,549 The jtp had accepted me into their fold. 301 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,218 It was time to see how the other half lived. 302 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,822 Aah! Brain freeze! We're insane! 303 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,390 (screams) 304 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,091 (sighs) yeah. 305 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:37,162 Turns out, the other half lived like a bunch of idiots. 306 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,931 Ow! Dude, that hurt so bad. That was awesome. 307 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:40,832 (chuckles) yeah? Yeah. 308 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,001 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, no, man! 309 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,703 Your feet and hands should be in sync. 310 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:49,207 Go! Go! Naked rob doing what he do! 311 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,075 Yeah! 312 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,377 (indistinct conversation) 313 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,948 Oh, my god. (indistinct shouting) 314 00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,551 (indistinct conversations) 315 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,820 Guys, I just found a toaster in the trash can. 316 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,189 Sweet! Let me throw it up in the air! 317 00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:08,126 All: Oh! 318 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,462 Yes! It's more broken now! 319 00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,763 Man: Madman schwartz strikes again! 320 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,100 Adult adam: The guys promised me girls and stolen mascots, 321 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:18,470 But all I got was six percent dumber. 322 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,138 Hey, dad. Bevy? 323 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,908 I thought you'd be elbow deep in some hot cheese by now. 324 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:28,680 Erica cannot even cold chill with me for a single night. 325 00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:33,485 Be honest with me, am I the lamest person on the planet? 326 00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,019 Uh... 327 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,888 Let's get you a drink. 328 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,423 Ray. 329 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,793 Relax, bevy. 330 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,529 You don't need to be cool. That's what you got me for. 331 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:49,200 But I want to be. Teach me to be cool, daddy? 332 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:53,204 No can do. You either got it, or you don't. 333 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:53,671 'sup, baby? 334 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:57,242 But, hey, that doesn't mean that you can't have a good time. 335 00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:00,245 Well, I've been trying to have a good time all day, 336 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,847 Which is why I ate all the cheese... 337 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,916 Which is sitting like a rock, by the way. 338 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,520 Well, that's your problem, honey, you try too hard. 339 00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:11,956 You want fun? Well, buckle up, old man. 340 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,424 (chuckles) 341 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,125 Ooh. 342 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,529 Adult adam: Pops was right, it was time for beverly goldberg 343 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,931 To care less and drink more. 344 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:20,331 (sighs) 345 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,801 (spits) ...Or just stick to daiquiris. 346 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,869 That was fun. 347 00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,006 Dude! You're our hero! 348 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,207 What? Why? 349 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,008 Because the hacking worked! 350 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,143 We just found out we got b's on our history test. 351 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,778 It's awesome! (all laughing) 352 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,247 We got a bio test on Monday. Let's get hacking. 353 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:40,151 I'd love to help, but this game doesn't have a saving function. 354 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,554 If I quit now, I'd lose my place. 355 00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:44,255 Then lose your stupid place. 356 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,990 (beeping) 357 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,158 Oh, my god! 358 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,893 How clueless can you guys be? 359 00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,429 Shut up and hack for your posse! 360 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,730 Hacking isn't real. 361 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,132 What? Then how did we get b's? 362 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,935 'cause I actually tricked you boneheads into studying. 363 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,305 Whoa. You taught us? That's so messed up, dude. 364 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,640 Yeah, we trusted you and you lied to us 365 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,409 Like senator mccarthy lied to congress 366 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,811 About the threat of communism in 1953? 367 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,179 And, oh, my god, why do I know this? 368 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,982 We were right about you, man. You're just a nerd. 369 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,818 I'm a nerd? Well, what about you putzes? 370 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:17,455 All you guys do is hang around in a parking lot 371 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,723 Hiding from girls. 372 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,959 I mean, the craziest thing that happened 373 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,894 Was jeff schwartz ate a hoagie! 374 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:26,664 In 20 seconds! Like a madman! 375 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,968 He ate dinner, barry. He ate dinner! 376 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,135 You take that back! 377 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:35,106 That's it. We're kicking you both out of the jtp forever. 378 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:35,840 What? Why me? 379 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,141 Uh, because he's your brother 380 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,409 And he just shined a light on us 381 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,777 That makes us question everything! 382 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,113 You can't kick me out. I'm the founding member. 383 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,383 Yeah, and now you're banned, like how the volstead act 384 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,886 Banned alcohol from the country in 1919. 385 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,054 It's 1920, bro. Good catch, bro. 386 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,823 Jtp out. 387 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,093 Thanks a lot! 388 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,295 Adult adam: While barry went to bed angry at me, 389 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,264 My sister was wide awake and about to learn 390 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,867 What it felt like to be a worried, uncool mother. 391 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,502 Where have you been? 392 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,503 I've been worried sick about you! 393 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,372 Do you have any idea what time it is? 394 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,008 Yes. It's time to boogie. 395 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:14,379 Okay, honey, you've done enough bogeying for one night. 396 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,581 Oh, my god. She's drunk. 397 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,316 You are such a bad influence. 398 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,752 Come on. Be cool about this. (chuckles) 399 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,587 It is not my job to be cool. 400 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,889 You are not hanging out with her again. Understood? 401 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,859 Wait, this is important. This is important. 402 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,060 What? 403 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,763 (hip itched voice) I love you, too, mommy. 404 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,798 Okay, you can handle it from here. 405 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:34,499 I got a meter running. 406 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,734 Woof. Okay, she is a train wreck. 407 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,136 Please do not leave me alone with her. 408 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,004 Your mother's taken care of you your whole life. 409 00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:43,675 The least you can do is take care of her for one night. 410 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,544 Beverly: Yeah! And you know what else? 411 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,613 Whoo-whoo. 412 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,518 (snoring) 413 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,056 Mom, I want waffles. 414 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,625 Mom, waffles. 415 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,359 Mom, waffles. 416 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,762 Mom, waffles, mom, waffles, mom, waffles. 417 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,564 (softly) hey, get away! 418 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,598 I just got her down. 419 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,935 Adam: I got you covered in here, big guy! 420 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,937 Eric: "I am sor?" 421 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,539 It's supposed to say "sorry." 422 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:19,410 I ran out of ink, and even this took me an hour to print. 423 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:20,345 I made waffles. 424 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:24,182 Your apology's not accepted! You made me lose my crew! 425 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,384 Okay, so maybe we weren't the coolest, 426 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,886 And madman jeff schwartz isn't that crazy, 427 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,123 And naked rob's got real problems, but... 428 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,358 (sighs) I don't know. 429 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,593 I've never had close friends before. 430 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,762 Then you just got to make it up to them. How? 431 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,133 We do the one thing the jtp never had the guts to do... 432 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,235 Steal the germantown mascot. 433 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,804 ¶ never surrender 434 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,906 (beeping) 435 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,010 (keyboard clacking) 436 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,281 (printer whirring) 437 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,788 Radical! 438 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,058 (tires squeal) ¶ you were born a fighter 439 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,496 ¶ in the bird, a mighty warrior 440 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,032 ¶ driven by desire 441 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,033 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 442 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,702 ¶ glory calls, it's waiting for you 443 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,303 ¶ when your back's against the wall 444 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,539 Class started five minutes ago. 445 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,974 (sighs) 446 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,475 Here you go, my good man. 447 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,211 Hall pass. ¶ never surrender 448 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,280 ¶ never say die 449 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,050 Get to class. ¶ you've got the heart of a hero 450 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,385 ¶ never surrender 451 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,755 ¶ the will to survive ¶ (falcon calls) 452 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,391 Slow down! You're making it nervous! 453 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,626 This is awesome! 454 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,262 Not awesome! I thought you were stealing a costume, 455 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,230 Not a real freaking falcon! 456 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,966 (whimpers) oh, crap! (laughs) 457 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,871 Erica: Good morning, sunshine. 458 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:54,839 Feel as good as you look? 459 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,741 I am so sorry about last night. 460 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,043 I hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing. 461 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,779 Well, you cried and said "I love you" a lot, 462 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,048 So no different from normal. 463 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:04,849 What was I thinking? 464 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,219 You were thinking that I'm awful for trying to ditch you. 465 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,587 No. 466 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,190 You're wonderful. 467 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,625 You took care of your mom all night long. 468 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,261 Hey, that was just for one night, 469 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,996 And I wanted to die. 470 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:23,201 Somehow, you do it every day for all of us, 471 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,870 And that's actually pretty cool. 472 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,945 I love you so much. 473 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,279 Are you still drunk? 474 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,647 Just buzzed. 475 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,316 But every "I love you" is for real. 476 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,918 ¶ oh, feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 477 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,687 ¶ dance until the morning light 478 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,490 ¶ forget about the worries on your mind... 479 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,893 Dude, goldberg stole the germantown high mascot. 480 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,362 Couldn't have done it alone, ari. 481 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,598 This was the work of the jtp. 482 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,600 ¶ oh, oh, yeah ¶ yes! 483 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,870 All: Jtp, jtp, jtp! 484 00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:01,339 Jtp, jtp, jtp! 485 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,907 All: Jtp! 486 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:08,312 Adult adam: Yep, with a little help from me and apple ii plus, 487 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,714 Barry was back in the jtp. 488 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,751 Why do they make him wear this stupid bird hat anyway? 489 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,820 All: Jtp! Jtp! 490 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,955 ¶ feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 491 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,924 ¶ dance until the morning light he'll come back. 492 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,593 ¶ forget about the worries on your mind (falcon calls) 493 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,463 ¶ you can leave them all behind ¶ 494 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,265 Adult adam: That's the thing about family. 495 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,467 They may not be the coolest cats on the planet, 496 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,370 But they're always there to take care of you 497 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,438 When you need them most. 498 00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:37,241 Hey, what you up to? 499 00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:38,643 Mom got a new toaster. 500 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,444 Thought I'd maybe call the jtp. 501 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,914 And we'd have some fun. Cool. 502 00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:49,420 Actually, you know what would be even more fun? 503 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,988 If just you and me broke it together. 504 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,057 Just us? Are you serious? 505 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,561 As serious as truman was about the taft-hartley act. 506 00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,729 ¶ feel the beat of the rhythm of the night 507 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,798 ¶ dance until the morning light okay, here. 508 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,266 ¶ forget about the worries on your mind 509 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:05,369 Adult adam: Friends may come and go, but when it comes to family, 510 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:08,139 They'll always be there, watching over you. 511 00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,473 ¶ dance until the morning light 512 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:13,044 ¶ forget about the worries on your mind ¶ 513 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,881 Number one, dad. He's number one. 514 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:17,848 (bell dings) 515 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,352 You're stewed, buttwad. That's from "weird science." 516 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,054 (bell dings) 517 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,655 Ah! (laughs) 518 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,057 (bell dings) 519 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,659 So we can look back in a hundred years from now 520 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,128 And say, "hey, we had a great life." 521 00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:34,465 Boys: Jtp, jtp! 522 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,236 Man: (on tv) you know, I like little houses and big trees... 523 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,739 Guess what. I went back to the photo kiosk at the mall. 524 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,509 And I scored you all some pretty sweet stuff. 525 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:46,811 For murray, 526 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:51,849 A tie so we can be with you all day long at work. 527 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,784 I think you're missing the point of work. 528 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:57,421 For adam, a pillow with my face 529 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,690 So I can give you snuggies all night long. 530 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,626 Yes. I'll sleep easy now. 531 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:07,064 For barry, a big, tasty hat for your big, tasty head. 532 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,201 Nice! Beverly: And finally, erica. 533 00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,436 I know you're all cool and would never wear 534 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,771 Any of this stuff, 535 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,974 So I just got you cash. 536 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,877 Oh, my god, I love you! 537 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,214 What the hell is this? 538 00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,983 Bev bucks. You trade them for kisses. 539 00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,151 No. First one's free. 540 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,219 Take it back. First one's free! 541 00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,721 I don't want it. I don't... Kissy, kissy, kissy!