1 00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:03,669 Adult adam: Back in the '80s, america had one clear enemy... 2 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,503 The russians. 3 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,971 It was the age of the cold war. 4 00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:08,040 Capitalism vs. Communism. 5 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:08,907 Reagan vs. Gorbachev. 6 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,677 Rocky vs. That roided-out monster 7 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,378 Who killed apollo creed. 8 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:16,015 But the only war I knew was the one with my brother, and like any superpowers, 9 00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:19,118 Most of our fights were about border disputes. 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,552 Dude! You're in my space. 11 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,721 You're in my space! 12 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,858 Stop it. Stop fighting. Don't you... 13 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:26,658 Like any warring factions, 14 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:29,094 We didn't understand each other and had nothing in common. 15 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,230 Barry roller-skated to wham! To impress the ladies 16 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:36,402 While I roller-skated to starlight express to impress the theatergoers. 17 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,269 I barely survived gym class... 18 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,572 (whistle blows) ...While barry thrived as an athlete. 19 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,106 (grunts) 20 00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:43,609 My dream was to be the next steven spielberg. 21 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:47,046 Barry's dream was to be the next charles barkley. 22 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,280 Swish, baby! 23 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,648 I collected garbage pail kids 24 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,618 While barry loved his baseball cards. 25 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,419 Dude, check it out. 26 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,988 I just got hairy mary and oozy suzy. 27 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:56,588 Oh, really? 28 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,190 I got nerdy adam and punchy barry. 29 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,360 My most prized possession was my castle grayskull, 30 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:04,029 And barry's was this enormous shoe. 31 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,030 Behold, my lady. 32 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:09,134 The actual high-top of basketball's greatest badass, 33 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,869 Sir charles barkley. 34 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:11,870 Cool. Let me see... 35 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,873 No! Your hand contains damaging oils. 36 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,810 You can admire it quietly. At a distance. 37 00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:20,045 How did you even get this thing? 38 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:21,747 Dave sirota hooked me up. 39 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:22,748 His dad's a team doctor. 40 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,318 All I got to do is his math homework for the rest of year. 41 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,653 That is a horrible deal for him. 42 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,788 Yeah, it is. Sorry to be this dude, 43 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,825 But it's just a shoe. Who cares? 44 00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:34,026 "who cares?" 45 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:35,894 This is charles barkley. 46 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,696 The round mound of rebound. 47 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,665 The greatest sixer of our time. 48 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,700 Yeah, basketball's not my sport. 49 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,168 Well, sports aren't your sport. 50 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,404 Even my shoe thinks you're a nerd. 51 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,106 Huh? What was that? 52 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:49,475 "punch your brother in the nards"? Idiot. 53 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,577 Your shoe sounds a lot like you. 54 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:52,878 Hey! Knock it off. 55 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,314 What did we discuss? Which barry do I like? 56 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,916 Sweet barry. Which barry do I hate? 57 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,852 Yelly, punchy barry. Mmm-hmm. 58 00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:01,920 (mouthing) adult adam: Yep, barry and I forever lived 59 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,088 In a tense and bitter cold war. 60 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:07,226 We were always on guard, never knowing when the other would strike. 61 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,161 And this year, I decided to mount 62 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,497 An epic attack on April fools' day. 63 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,831 My target was the one thing 64 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,702 He told me never to touch with my human oils. 65 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:17,569 Where's my barkley shoe? 66 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,739 Relax. I spilled some water on it, so I threw it in the dryer. 67 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,975 I told you not to touch that thing! 68 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,910 (footsteps receding) 69 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,846 Barry: (screams) no! 70 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,216 Gone. (sniffles) 71 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,818 Gone forever. 72 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,419 Fly away, little size 16. 73 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,722 I'm a better person for having known you. 74 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,124 Well, who knew that high heat for an hour 75 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,126 Would do that to rubber? Hmm. 76 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,429 I...Feel...Anger! 77 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,866 (laughs) 78 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,403 (laughs) 79 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:54,573 April fools'! Oh, balls! 80 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,842 Dude, it was an April fools' joke. 81 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,510 Here's the real shoe, idiot. 82 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,779 (laughing) oh, man. 83 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,080 That... Yeah. 84 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,616 It's April already. (laughs) 85 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:05,217 You got me good. 86 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:09,254 Wait. Y-you destroyed castle grayskull. 87 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,656 You owe me 100 bucks. 88 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:11,557 Yeah, not gonna happen. 89 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:15,794 You should know I'm unstable and would react poorly. This is on you. 90 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:21,433 By the power of grayskull, this will not stand. 91 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,536 Thought I lost you, buddy. 92 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:26,238 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 93 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,676 ¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say 94 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,212 ¶ I don't know the future 95 00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:37,316 ¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 96 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,551 Adult adam: It was April 1, 1980-something, 97 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,386 And my sister was spending time 98 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,288 In her true home... The mall. 99 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,057 Okay, what do you want to hit next? 100 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,992 Benetton or sam goody? 101 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,927 Holy crap! 102 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,530 Every teenage girl has a defining moment in her life. 103 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,432 For my sister, it was the chance 104 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,435 To see her rock idol jam by the food court. 105 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:59,871 Tiffany...Is coming... To our mall? 106 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,975 Sweet god, my life now has meaning. 107 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,310 Yep, back before taylor swift and katy perry, 108 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,680 Teen pop superstars would visit your tiny town 109 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,983 And play a free concert in your local mall. 110 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,652 And the biggest star of them all was tiffany. 111 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,287 No last name needed. 112 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,522 ¶ I think we're alone now ¶ 113 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,858 Don't you see what this means? 114 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,360 I can give tiffany my demo tape, 115 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,395 And she can discover me. 116 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,430 Oh. Just one problem. 117 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,198 You don't have a demo tape, 118 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,500 And your cheap-ass dad will never pay for one. 119 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,501 Then there's only one play. 120 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:33,605 What if I told you I could save you $20,000 today? 121 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,007 For the first time in your life, 122 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:35,941 You'd have my full attention. 123 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,411 Well, that's the price of a college education these days. 124 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,345 And for a mere $200, 125 00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:44,016 I can record a music demo tape and hand it off to tiffany, 126 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:46,985 Thereby skipping college and achieving my life dream 127 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,855 Of becoming a teen singing sensation. 128 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,290 Dreams? Who said "dreams"? 129 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,659 Mama's here. I support you. Don't! 130 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:57,129 She wants to sing instead of going to college. 131 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,196 It's a nightmare. 132 00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,331 I'm not a total idiot. 133 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,199 I've worked out a surefire plan 134 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,601 That will get me to the top. 135 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,136 Listen to our snuggle monkey. 136 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,673 She has a plan. It's surefire. What's the plan? 137 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:11,076 I take my awesome demo tape to the mall and hand it to tiffany. 138 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:14,179 The minute she hears my soulful voice, boom! 139 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,647 It happens. What happens? 140 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,916 I open for her in malls across the country. 141 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,184 That's when I get a record deal 142 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,320 And meat simon le bon from duran duran 143 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,255 At calvin klein's lake house. 144 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:24,723 Here's a plan... College! 145 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,559 Beverly: Oh, you're such a grumpy pants. 146 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,661 Just you wait. Her plan will work. 147 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,364 Yes! I love you, mom. Aw. 148 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,166 (chuckles) (sighs) 149 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,667 (sighs) 150 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,270 The (bleep) murray? Why didn't you stop me? 151 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,238 Stop you? You were chewing my head off! 152 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,608 My baby wants to sing? That's not a job. 153 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,676 But you just told her it was! 154 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,212 You got to go up there and tell her she's got to go to college. 155 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,680 Why? You just told her she didn't! 156 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,881 Because I'm the dream pusher, 157 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,651 And you're the dream smusher. That's how this works. 158 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,687 This is a thing? I'm the smusher? 159 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,755 Yes. I push, you smush. 160 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,457 That's the natural order of things. 161 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,159 I didn't sign up for this! You smush for once. 162 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,995 You know, it's exhausting always having to be the bad guy. 163 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,631 Well, it can't be me! I'm the loving, supportive one. 164 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,935 You're the grumbling, grouchy one I always hide behind. 165 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,537 Now go! Smush, smush, smush. 166 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,506 (groans) (telephone rings) 167 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,474 Hello? 168 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,843 Adam: (on phone) have you checked on the cards? 169 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:18,276 What? 170 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:23,215 (slowly) have you checked on the cards? 171 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,118 No. No! 172 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:26,752 Yes. (chuckles) 173 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,787 Barry: You drew all over my cards! 174 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:32,758 Tell me this is a joke. Say "April fools'." say it! 175 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,358 No joke. 176 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,695 One castle grayskull for your baseball cards. 177 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,296 Your toy's 100 bucks! 178 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,898 This is a million dollars! 179 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,799 They're $1 a packet. 180 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:44,536 Everyone knows they triple in value every day. 181 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:45,237 This was my nest egg. 182 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:48,173 Well, I guess you're gonna have to work for your money now. 183 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,875 Never. Mark my words... 184 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,178 You've waged a war you cannot win. 185 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,280 I'm coming for you, brother. 186 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:56,915 And I'm coming hard. 187 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,183 Bring your best, bro, 188 00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:01,686 'cause nothing scares adam goldberg. 189 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,288 Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. 190 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:03,989 He's gonna come at me. 191 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,124 I told him to bring his best. Why would I suggest that? 192 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:09,628 Just apologize for what you did to cal ripken. 193 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,596 We're long past apologies now. 194 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,232 This is all-out war, and I'm gonna win. 195 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,334 Kiddo, I fought in a real war. 196 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,737 Trust me, there is no winner. 197 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,172 Adult adam: Pops was right. 198 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:21,339 While I protected my toys, 199 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:24,109 I forgot about one crucial item... 200 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:24,876 My video camera. 201 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,546 No! What have you done? 202 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,948 Okay, barry, you've gone too far. 203 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,284 You mess with my stuff, I mess with yours. 204 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,852 This wasn't just stuff. 205 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,054 This camera meant everything. 206 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,222 It's like my best friend. 207 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,358 Oh, relax. All I did was take it apart. 208 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,863 Here's the manual. Just... Just put it back together. 209 00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:48,233 Adam: This is in chinese! 210 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:50,936 Remember, you smush, I push. 211 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,371 Fair warning, she's gonna get extremely upset, 212 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,906 And she will throw something at you. 213 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,877 I apologize in advance 'cause I'm gonna let it happen. 214 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,213 Peanut, we need to talk. 215 00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:03,048 (sighs) what do you want? 216 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:06,318 I just want you to know... 217 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,018 (sighs) 218 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,055 ...That I support your singing 100%. 219 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,223 What? Really? 220 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,123 Really. What? 221 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,059 Forget about college. Gamble your life 222 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:17,629 In the dangerous and shady world of rock 'n' roll. 223 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,197 For real? So real. 224 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,932 Unless you mom's got something to add. 225 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,300 Uh, not at this moment. 226 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:28,139 Um, I'm just letting the news wash over me 'cause it's so positive. 227 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,508 (chuckles) dad, I give you my word 228 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,409 When riki gold sweeps the grammys, 229 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,778 You're will be the first person I thank. 230 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,013 Riki gold? 231 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,047 Yeah, it's my stage name. 232 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,283 'cause goldberg is... You know. 233 00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,419 You can be whoever you damn well please 234 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:45,590 Because daddy believes in you and your plan. 235 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,224 Ooh, thanks, dad! 236 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,859 Adult adam: With that, my dad became the pusher... 237 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,327 I'm so excited! ...Forcing my mom 238 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,896 To become the smusher. Thank you. 239 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,097 It's a bad plan. 240 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,698 What? You know I love you, 241 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,501 But you are gonna go to college and get a good job 242 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,337 So I don't have to stay up late at night worrying. 243 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,605 So, basically, you're a sham. 244 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:04,809 Every time that you said you believed in me, it was a lie? 245 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,345 Of course not. It's still me. 246 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,514 It's your mama, snuggle monkey. (scoffs) 247 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:13,018 Lies! I am not your snuggle monkey. 248 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,753 You don't mean that. 249 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:15,754 Oh, I mean it. 250 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,890 And you can never call me snuggly or squishy 251 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,626 Or boopie or schmoopie ever again. 252 00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,429 Do not take schmoopie away from me. 253 00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,997 Don't you dare! 254 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,066 It's just I... 255 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,200 I don't want you to fail. 256 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,836 Well, that makes me want to succeed even more. 257 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,272 I will sing for quarters on the subway. 258 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,677 I will sleep on lumpy couches owned by creepy disk jockeys. 259 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,045 Sure, when times get tough, 260 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,381 I may have to go cry in a bank vestibule. 261 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,349 But then, in the end, 262 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,118 I will be bigger than tiffany and debbie gibson. 263 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,589 But not madonna, because I'm realistic. 264 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:54,926 (sighs) 265 00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:58,296 Adult adam: Since neither of my parents wanted to be the smusher, 266 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,398 They turned to erica's teacher for help. 267 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,068 Thank you so much for meeting with us on a Saturday. 268 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,704 Honestly, we really do appreciate it. 269 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,771 Anything for erica. 270 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,673 In all of my years of teaching, 271 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:12,210 I have never had a student so passionate and talented. 272 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,779 Oh, that is so nice to hear. 273 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,781 And I'm gonna need you to shut your mouth 274 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,750 And never say that again. 275 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,151 What? I... 276 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,152 Let me chime in here. 277 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,923 Actively destroy her dreams. Thank you so much. 278 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,391 (chuckling) yeah, I'm not gonna agree to that. 279 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:30,595 I'm her teacher. It is my job to inspire her, not to hold her back. 280 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,464 Let me pipe in here, mur. 281 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,298 We would appreciate it 282 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,533 If you would shame her into quitting 283 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:39,371 Using, say, scare tactics or negative reinforcement. 284 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:43,108 I don't want to tell you how to do your job. You get it. 285 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:43,808 I really don't get it. 286 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,577 Let me sound off here, bev. 287 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,112 What my wife is trying to say, 288 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,547 And I think we can all agree on this, 289 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,384 A career in music, it's absurd. 290 00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:55,420 (scoffs) I...Don't agree. 291 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,588 Let me finish this off, mur. 292 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,423 See, millions of girls want to be stars, 293 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:02,694 But they end up becoming waitresses or dog walkers or music teachers. 294 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:07,332 And that is no life anyone would wish for their little girl. 295 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,433 No offense. 296 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,468 Literally couldn't be more offended. 297 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,736 Let me take the wheel here, bev. 298 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,639 Uh, you know what? Don't take wheel. Okay? (laughs) 299 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,741 Beverly, I cannot believe this. 300 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,643 I... Even though you give me hives 301 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:22,213 And I am stalked in my dreams by a blond monster, 302 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:26,484 I have always respected the way that you support your kids no matter what. 303 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,486 (sighs) look. It's just... 304 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:32,023 What she wants to do, it's such a long shot. 305 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,525 It is if you're not there for her. 306 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:36,061 Do you think that tiffany or debbie gibson 307 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,496 Would have made it without their mothers? 308 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:38,830 No. 309 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,398 They not only support their daughters, 310 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,200 They manage their whole careers. 311 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:42,901 What's that, now? 312 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,304 Adult adam: My mom realized that she could hijack erica's career 313 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:49,641 And be both a mom and a manager. 314 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:50,041 Momager. 315 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,477 While my mom was plotting erica's rise to stardom, 316 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,046 I was planning barry's fall from grace. 317 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,014 I'd win the cold war 318 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,650 By taking away the one thing he loved most... 319 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,418 His hot lady friend. 320 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,820 Hi, um, lainey. 321 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:05,056 Look, I know I showed my bra to dave kim for five bucks, 322 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,124 But it's not, like, a thing. 323 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,327 No. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. 324 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,929 Barry asked me to come here 325 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,465 And terminate your relationship. 326 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:16,034 Yeah, that's just not realistic, dude. 327 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:16,768 Damn it. 328 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:17,802 What's going on with you two? 329 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,704 He broke my video camera. 330 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,206 Why would he do that? 331 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,741 I told him I liked sweet barry. 332 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:25,243 Turns out, there is no sweet barry... 333 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,680 Only yelly, punchy barry. 334 00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,282 I don't want to say that you could do better, 335 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,384 But we're all thinking it. 336 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,486 Hmm. 337 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,086 You are so dead! 338 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,388 Am I? 'cause I've never felt more alive. 339 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,225 Lainey said she had to think about our future. 340 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,226 I can't have her thinking. 341 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,727 What if she sees me for what I am? 342 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,262 Well, maybe you should have thought of that 343 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,997 Before you were who you are. 344 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:49,067 I...Feel...Anger! 345 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,438 What the hell? 346 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,441 Where's all your nerd stuff for me to stomp on? 347 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,375 Put it all in storage. 348 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,079 Now I live in a room without joy and happiness. 349 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,915 In...Your...Face. 350 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,484 I can't believe it. 351 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,287 You actually beat me. 352 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,124 April fools'. 353 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,660 Adult adam: As my brother was preparing to take me down, 354 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,929 Tiffany was preparing to take the stage 355 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,565 In front of a thousand screaming teenage girls. 356 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,299 Erica: Sorry, guys. 357 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,102 Just got to squeeze right through you. Yeah, thanks. 358 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,338 Oh, excuse me. Hi. I'm er... I'm, uh, riki gold. 359 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,640 And, uh, I just wanted to know 360 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,875 If you could give this demo tape to tiffany 361 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,677 And let her know that I recorded it 362 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,379 On my broken boom box in my bathroom, 363 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,647 Which isn't totally soundproof. 364 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,082 You can kind of hear my dad yelling in the background. 365 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:41,886 But in the end, uh, my voice totally shines through. 366 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:42,654 Sure thing, kid. 367 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,589 Oh, my god. It actually worked. 368 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,857 Adult adam: It did not work. 369 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,960 Every other girl in town had a demo tape, too. 370 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,563 Wow. That's a lot of tapes. 371 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,498 But riki gold had a plan b... 372 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,599 Sneak up to the tour bus and get discovered 373 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:58,903 By singing directly to tiffany herself. It was foolproof! 374 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:00,071 What the hell? 375 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,906 Unfortunately, every other fool in town... 376 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:05,243 Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. ...Had the exact same plan. 377 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,345 Lainey, what are you doing here? 378 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,746 Duh. I want to be famous. 379 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,783 Uh, no, wanting to be famous is my thing. 380 00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:13,718 Hi, girls. Scooch over. Scooch. 381 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,153 Oh, my god. Why are you here? 382 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,555 You parents maybe made me question 383 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,223 Some of my life choices. 384 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,826 Sort of my last gasp here. Really need this win. (note plays) 385 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,295 No, this is my plan. 386 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:28,132 (playing guitar) ¶ children, behave 387 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:31,436 ¶ running just as fast as we can 388 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,405 ¶ holding on to one another's hands 389 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,307 (engine revs) ¶ trying to get away 390 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,475 ¶ into the night ¶ night! 391 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,543 Tiffany! Tiffany! 392 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,978 Adult adam: Erica's dreams of stardom 393 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,947 Were literally driving away before her very eyes. 394 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,416 Meanwhile, barry's dream of obliterating me 395 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,118 Was about to become reality. 396 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,087 For years, he held onto a secret weapon... 397 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:52,290 Something so powerful that it could only be unleashed 398 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,658 In a time of true war. 399 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,561 And that time was now. 400 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,897 Oh, no. 401 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,566 Oh, yes. 402 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:03,368 Oh, no. 403 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,036 I had taken barry's girlfriend, 404 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,905 And he would take my dignity by unleashing 405 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,407 The most embarrassing sears glamour portrait 406 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,844 The world had ever seen, knee-high socks and all. 407 00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,879 Oh, no! (groans) 408 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,314 Barry. 409 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,883 Hey, buddy. What brings you by? 410 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,119 How? I destroyed this photo! 411 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,488 You mean... This one? 412 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,258 The one where mom dragged you to a studio photographer 413 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,526 Dressed like a sad, little dandy? 414 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:32,931 And I will post it all over the school. 415 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,731 No! You can't! 416 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,133 That will completely destroy me! 417 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:39,103 Oh, my god. Pops was right! No one wins a war. 418 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,673 Actually, somebody does win... 419 00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:43,808 Whoever's got the bigger nuke. 420 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:47,011 And I've got the adam bomb. 421 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,448 Adult adam: My mom had officially dedicated her life 422 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,883 To managing my sister's music career. 423 00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:54,886 Only problem, erica had no idea. 424 00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:55,520 Erica: What the... 425 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,855 Why is my awful 10th grade yearbook photo 426 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,858 On t-shirts, buttons, and bumper stickers? 427 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:04,028 Because your momager got you your first gig. 428 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,031 You're playing the del ennis bowling lanes 429 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:07,966 At 10:00 a.M. On Tuesday! 430 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:11,269 Who's gonna be at the del ennis lanes at 10:00 a.M. On a Tuesday? 431 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,839 Well, del will be there and bonnie, his wife. She rents the shoes. 432 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:19,277 And, uh, I'll be there selling these puffy paint t-shirts. 433 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,311 Hmm? (chuckles) 434 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,079 If del allows it. 435 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:24,282 He's trying to take a cut of the merch. I'm into it with him. 436 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,550 You don't need to know the details. 437 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,952 Mom, maybe, I should... No. 438 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,020 You were right about me. 439 00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,755 I've supported you your whole life. 440 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:35,727 But when it really mattered, when you really needed me, I panicked. 441 00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:38,196 Well, from now on, we're in this together... 442 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:42,600 All day, every day, on the tour bus, in hotels, 443 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,802 You and your biggest fan, your mama. 444 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,805 That's why, I'm gonna momage you straight to the top. 445 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:51,142 I'm gonna make sure no one ever smushes your dreams again. 446 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,478 You have to smush my dreams. Murray: No, no, no. 447 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,580 I'm out of that game. From now on, I'm a pusher. 448 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,383 No, mom's the pusher. We can't have two pushers. 449 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,818 Then I'll actually have to follow through on things. 450 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,320 Wait, I...I thought this is what you wanted. 451 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:06,457 Don't give it up just 'cause your mom bought a bunch of puffy paint. 452 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,026 It's not just mom. 453 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,894 I went to that mall, and I realized 454 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,363 There's a million girls out there just like me. 455 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,666 And the truth is, you were right. 456 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,002 I just don't have a shot. 457 00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,705 Adult adam: As erica was giving up on her dreams, 458 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:25,209 Barry was about to obliterate my reality. 459 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,747 (cheering) 460 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,284 Hey. What's going on? 461 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,954 Dude, it's crazy. The berlin wall just fell. 462 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,658 Adult adam: It was one of those moments 463 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,260 You remember for the rest of your life. 464 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,562 A country divided, coming together 465 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,164 For a shining moment of peace. 466 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,399 And as barry watched it all unfold, 467 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,935 He realized it was time to end 468 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,437 The war at home. 469 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,773 My camera! How did you get the money to fix it? 470 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,975 I sold my barkley shoe back to dave sirota. 471 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,477 But what about the photo? 472 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,212 You were about to drop the adam bomb. 473 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,281 I saw something today that changed me. 474 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,084 David hasselhoff was on top of the great wall of china 475 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,251 In a light-up jacket singing about freedom. 476 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:12,023 And it occurred to me, if knight rider can make can make east and west russia 477 00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:14,725 Find common ground, maybe we can, too. 478 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,328 While your facts are wildly off, 479 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,764 Your spirit is right on the money. 480 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,398 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 481 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,800 Sure, I'm athletic and enjoy awesome stuff 482 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,302 While everything you know and love 483 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,536 Is for losers who suck at life, 484 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:29,040 But even though we're from two different worlds, 485 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,676 I believe we can live in harmony. 486 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,913 Wait. You gave me back what I love. 487 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,249 Time to return the favor. 488 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,951 (rapping) ¶ I'm a bad boy 489 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,352 ¶ but a good guy 490 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,920 ¶ on the outside, I'm tough 491 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,589 ¶ on the inside, I cry 492 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,491 ¶ I'm always on the streets 493 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,425 ¶ rhymin' and schemin' 494 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:51,062 ¶ but when I think of your face I get sensitive feelings 495 00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,630 ¶ I mouth off to the cops 496 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,531 ¶ and get myself in trouble 497 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,368 ¶ but when you bail be out we watch splash and cuddle 498 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,437 ¶ see, I'm a bad boy 499 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,538 ¶ but a sweet guy 500 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,340 ¶ I get in trouble 501 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,108 ¶ and I don't know why 502 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,476 ¶ so take big tasty back 503 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,544 ¶ you know you can't resist 504 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:12,250 ¶ so on a humbler note I really need this ¶ 505 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:16,154 That was... Uncomfortable. 506 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,789 Point is, he got my camera fixed. 507 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:19,790 That's sweet. 508 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,059 He really is a good brother. 509 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:23,794 You're not so bad yourself. 510 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:27,932 (tiffany's I think we're alone now plays) 511 00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,035 Here. For your demo. 512 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,971 But we agreed you were gonna talk to mom. 513 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,039 And I will. 514 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,674 But I just need you to know 515 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:40,945 That there's nobody else out there like you. Nobody. 516 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,181 Look. I got my dream. 517 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,283 I got this house, I got the family, I got you. 518 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:49,987 And if this is what you really want, I say go for it. 519 00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:53,157 To a parent, that's scary as hell. 520 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,426 But I can't have you live your life 521 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,496 Thinking I held you back. 522 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,135 ¶ children, behave dad. 523 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:04,802 Yeah? 524 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,639 What you said, that was really, um... 525 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,209 ¶ and watch how you play 526 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,344 Thank you. ¶ they don't understand 527 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,046 Anything for you, peanut. 528 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,447 Adult adam: That's the thing about family. 529 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:20,885 You fight, you argue, you wage all-out war, but at the end of the day, 530 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,154 You're always on the same side. 531 00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:23,955 ¶ tryin' to get away 532 00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:25,890 ¶ into the night 'cause in a world where everyone 533 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:26,624 Tries to smush you down, 534 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:30,895 The one thing you got is your family to push you forward. 535 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,364 ¶ I think we're alone now 536 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:37,201 ¶ there doesn't seem to be anyone around 537 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,036 That's my superstar client. 538 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:42,840 You're not gonna be the momager. We'll see. 539 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,376 ¶ ...Is the only sound ¶ 540 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,415 Glad that's gone forever. (chuckles) 541 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,854 (ding) 542 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,825 Riki gold, big tasty, 543 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:03,628 Thank you for meeting me on such short notice. 544 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,496 Meeting? We're eating breakfast. 545 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:06,697 Let me cut to the chase. 546 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,800 What I'm looking at are two musical giants 547 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,369 On the precipice of greatness, 548 00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:12,436 And as your momager... 549 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,804 No! (laughs) no! 550 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,874 ...I present "the tasty gold experience." 551 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,076 Even better, I won't even take 10%. 552 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:21,445 You can pay me in huggies and smoochies. 553 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,047 Both: No!