1 00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:02,001 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, before you could film 2 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,402 a major motion picture with your phone, 3 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:04,903 the only way to capture memories 4 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:08,407 was with this monstrosity. The video camera. 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,609 It was literally backbreaking work, 6 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:13,512 but the result was always priceless. 7 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,380 What's up, B-ball fans? 8 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:17,583 Big Tasty coming to you live from the drive. 9 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,851 Rumor has it you like dunks. 10 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:23,055 Well, I call this one "slam, jam, thank you, ma'am." 11 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,690 ALL: Oh! 12 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,160 "Honey, I dunked the kid." 13 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,595 ALL: Oh! 14 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,231 "Good morning, Viet-slam." 15 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,033 ALL: Oh! 16 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:35,968 ALL: Ooh! 17 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:38,203 Call me Jean-Claude Van Jam. 18 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:41,140 BOYS: Oh! (LAUGHTER) 19 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,375 What? (BOYS WHOOPING) 20 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,510 This is the worst thing I've ever seen, 21 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,211 and I see my dad in his underpants every day. 22 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:50,382 But we're only halfway through watching my Jampilation... 23 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:50,983 The extrava-jam-za. 24 00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:52,985 Yeah, this has been amazing, you know, 25 00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:54,153 a Saturday really well spent, 26 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,488 but I am gonna go do anything else. 27 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,490 (ALL CHEERING) 28 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,728 BEVERLY: Aah! It's my little love muffin's birthday! 29 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,597 Dude, did you tape over your 5th birthday party? 30 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,698 That could have been anyone's parents. 31 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,767 No, I remember that party... Your mom gave me a haircut. 32 00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,537 'Cause she said my mom did a bad job. 33 00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,440 Oh, no, no, no, no. 34 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,041 Yes! This is wonderful! 35 00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:19,078 For me. For you, it's like as bad as it gets. 36 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:19,578 It's fine! 37 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,280 Mom has millions of tapes of us. 38 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,849 It's not like she has every one of them memorized. 39 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:24,883 Hi, love nuggets. 40 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,952 Oh, your 5th birthday! 41 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:30,155 Oh, I remember every single moment. 42 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,657 We should go. No, no. Stay. 43 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,026 Let's all watch the best time in my life 44 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:35,461 when you were my Little Schmoo 45 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:38,197 and you used to give mama endless huggies. 46 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,499 You heard mama. Play the tape. 47 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,202 Why watch an old video 48 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:46,271 when you can get a real huggie right now? 49 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,406 For real? 50 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,208 Get in here, you. 51 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,075 (LAUGHS) 52 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,010 Ohh, ain't this the best? 53 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:52,611 Totally. 54 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,647 I can really feel your whole body against mine. 55 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:59,318 BEVERLY: Oh, my baby's so big and squishy. 56 00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:01,820 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 57 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:06,758 ¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 58 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,061 ¶ I don't know the future 59 00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:13,665 ¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 60 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,001 ADULT ADAM: It was October 7, 1980-something, 61 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,604 and my dad was engaged in his favorite hobby... 62 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:20,172 Watching the weather channel. 63 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,374 Back then, there were only five channels to watch. 64 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,743 With the invention of this exciting network, 65 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,112 dads across America were hooked. 66 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:27,813 Call cousin Arnie. 67 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,448 They have a blizzard warning in Denver! 68 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,584 They have no idea what they're up against! 69 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,919 Unless it banks south. 70 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,622 Then they'll just have nice, mild flurries. 71 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:40,125 Ooh. My knee is acting up. 72 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,426 Bet it's gonna rain. 73 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,127 (LAUGHING) Oh! 74 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:45,564 This guy thinks it's gonna rain today with 5% humidity. 75 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,499 I liked you better when you hated everything. 76 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,234 ADULT ADAM: Yep, the weather was my dad's hobby. 77 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,104 And of course, it couldn't be any more different than mine. 78 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,138 Okay, here's the deal. (CLICK) 79 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,908 You're looking at a sentient robot named Johnny 5 80 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,209 from the hit movie Short Circuit 81 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,711 and the less critically acclaimed Short Circuit 2. 82 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,747 Why is the robit lounging on a raft? 83 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,081 That thing weighs a ton. It makes no sense. 84 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:06,885 The point is, The Hobby Shop is selling a limited-edition kit 85 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,888 to build a mini replica Johnny 5 and I need money. 86 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,357 You do realize I'm gonna say no, right? 87 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,759 I do know that, yes. 88 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:14,660 And that's why I'm gonna call this 89 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:18,530 a learning-based project and ask you to build it with me. 90 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,234 Do not do that. Do not call it a learning-based project. 91 00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:22,901 Then give me the money. 92 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,305 I won't involve mom, and we can each go our separate ways. 93 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,706 Done. How much? 94 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,106 $96. 95 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,474 I'm gonna ask you to go away now. 96 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,076 Mom, I have a learning-based project 97 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,412 dad won't get involved in! 98 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,181 What is this about a learning-based project? 99 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,282 I like the sound of that. 100 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,084 I want to build a robot with dad, 101 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,619 but he doesn't want to do it with me. 102 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:43,555 Murray! It's a learning-based project! 103 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,857 Mama, why won't he let me learn stuff? 104 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,593 It's a learning-based project! 105 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,461 The thing costs 100 bucks. 106 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,130 Tell you what... Instead of going to the store 107 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,498 and buying a bunch of robot parts, 108 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,702 dad will help you build one from junk around the house. 109 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:57,603 Oh, no, what have I done? 110 00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:00,272 I was literally just sitting here. No. Zip it. 111 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,506 Zip it. Zip it. I've made up my mind. 112 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:04,610 You two are building a robot, and that's final! 113 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,713 Yay! Learning-based project! 114 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:08,947 Yeah, I'm a putz. 115 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,383 ADULT ADAM: While I was stuck with the grumpiest man on the planet, 116 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,952 Barry went to the smartest man he knew. 117 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,754 Coach Meller! Coach! 118 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,089 I need your help. 119 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,657 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 120 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,391 Third graders, out! 121 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,693 You're of no use to me until you develop adult bodies 122 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,062 that can play something besides tag. 123 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,430 What are we looking at here, Goldberg? 124 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,832 I taped over my 5th birthday party! 125 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:30,269 My mom will never forgive me if I can't get her tape back. 126 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:33,005 You're the A.V. club adviser. Help me. 127 00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:35,207 Well, it's more of a ceremonial title. 128 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,943 I just get to keep the key to the A.V. closet on my belt, 129 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,012 but mostly I just hand the key off 130 00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:42,014 to that weird kid with the muppet voice. 131 00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:44,983 My brother? That's him... Muppet boy. 132 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,118 So is it possible? 133 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,586 Can we un-film what I taped over? 134 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,789 Absolutely. All we got to do is pop that tape into the VCR, 135 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,557 hit record and rewind at the same time, 136 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:56,228 and it will un-record the top layer of video. 137 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:56,728 Duh! 138 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,897 The answer was in front of me the whole time. 139 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,832 ADULT ADAM: Except that wasn't the answer. 140 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:01,600 To the nerd hole. 141 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,702 ADULT ADAM: While you could easily tape over something, 142 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,237 you could never un-erase it. 143 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:08,540 (GRINDING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 144 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,510 No! Why didn't it work? 145 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,513 'Cause nobody really knows how VHS technology works. 146 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,248 It's a mystery science can't solve. 147 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,784 Looks like your only choice is to come clean. 148 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,787 Or I double-down and keep lying. 149 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,255 I lied on a job application once 150 00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:27,059 and said I was proficient in the audio-visual arts. 151 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,260 Now here we are. 152 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,095 So the lesson is... Don't lie. 153 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,230 Unless it gets you an extra 60 bucks a week 154 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,700 and a butt-load of extension cords. 155 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,668 I feel good about today. 156 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,405 ADULT ADAM: In my brother's mind, there was only one logical choice... 157 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:41,773 Frame my mom. 158 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,675 First, he took his ruined birthday tape 159 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,609 and steamed off the label. 160 00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,512 Next, he stuck it onto my mom's Phil Donahue tape 161 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,382 so the next time she'd watch Barry's birthday, 162 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,249 she'd find this. 163 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,286 In the long-term, it's not good for us. 164 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:58,156 I just don't understand how I could be so careless! 165 00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,391 Don't beat yourself up too bad. 166 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,194 I mean, yeah, it's an unforgivable mistake. 167 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,795 But one day, I'll recover. 168 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,263 But I won't! 169 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,932 Those were the first moving images 170 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,667 of my precious love monkeys. 171 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,969 Lost! Forever! 172 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,572 Dude, I'm all for lying to our parents, 173 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,706 but this is very not okay. 174 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:18,176 The good news is she'll totally forget about it in a few days. 175 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,611 I will never forget about this! 176 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,213 Or a few weeks. Ever. 177 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,180 Mom's a mess. 178 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,682 I've failed as a mother... 179 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:24,383 I can't take it, Barry. 180 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,084 ...as a woman... Either you tell her... 181 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,520 ...and as a human person. Or I will. 182 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,622 This is all your fault, Phil Donahue, 183 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,492 you gorgeous white-haired bastard. 184 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,230 Okay, brainstorming session. 185 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:41,833 Murray, now that you've been forced to build a robo-man, 186 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,669 you get to delight in Adam's favorite hobby. 187 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,771 I was about to delight in the weather channel. 188 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:49,875 They got a new ticker at the bottom of the screen. It's always moving. 189 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:50,642 Are we done here? No! 190 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:54,179 Come on. Tell me what this metal-sucker should look like. 191 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,615 Get the ball rolling, Mur-Man. 192 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,683 (WHISPERING) I don't know. Um... 193 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,420 It could have a... Button. 194 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:02,320 Good! A button. 195 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,823 Way to go there, big guy. Adam, your turn. 196 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,826 It definitely should have a back to the future-style 197 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,694 flux capacitor for time travel. 198 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:10,395 Don't write that down. 199 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,997 No time travel. That's not a thing. 200 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:15,500 There are no bad ideas in brainstorming. 201 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,835 What else you got? 202 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:17,335 I don't know. 203 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,704 Maybe like a pointy hand that could poke stuff. 204 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,605 An ion-based magma cannon. 205 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,508 A hat. A combat-ready cloaking device. 206 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,109 Metal feet. 207 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,344 We should also give it emotions and a sense of humor. 208 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,180 No! Don't write that down! 209 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:30,048 Ever heard of Short Circuit? 210 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,516 Once we get it struck by lightning, 211 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,052 it'll be alive just like Johnny 5. 212 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:34,686 That was a movie. 213 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:38,089 For the sake of argument, let's entertain the notion 214 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:41,393 that this robot can have anything we want it to have. 215 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,428 That's what I'm trying to do, bro, 216 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,598 but unless this robot can give fog advisories, 217 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,633 my father ain't getting onboard. 218 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,835 A weather robit. 219 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,536 Now, that actually makes sense. 220 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,371 I want this thing to have a snow plow. 221 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,106 And inter-dimensional portals. 222 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,242 Now we're cooking with gas. 223 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,678 ADULT ADAM: While my dad and I were finally coming together, 224 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,281 my mom was still falling apart. 225 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,816 Dude, look at her. 226 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,651 She's even lost her will to jazzercise. 227 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,987 You were supposed to tell her by now. 228 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,822 I know, but I have great news. 229 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:15,327 I came up with something so much better than the truth. 230 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,562 I searched through all our old tapes 231 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,197 and cut together Beverly Goldberg's 232 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,566 most awesome moments as a mom. 233 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,535 I call it a Momtage. 234 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,469 I don't understand. 235 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,004 See, I took the word "mom" 236 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,873 and mushed it into the word "montage," 237 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,574 which is Spanish for the word "honesty." 238 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:30,775 I know what "montage" means. 239 00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:31,877 Just tell me how it'll make her feel better. 240 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:36,314 Simple. There's nothing that woman loves more than taking care of us. 241 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,349 When she watches her greatest hits, 242 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,752 she'll give me a hug and forget all about the other tape. 243 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,387 (CLICK) 244 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,356 ¶ Never surrender ¶ 245 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,892 BARRY: Momtage! 246 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,362 Starring our mama. 247 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,598 Chores! 248 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,369 Living the dream! 249 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,405 Cooking foods! 250 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,376 Too hot, but thank you! 251 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,512 Unclogging stuff! 252 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,715 It was dad, not me! 253 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,752 Giant hair! 254 00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:16,521 Fashion icon! 255 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,726 Yelling about safety! 256 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,730 We heart Beverly! 257 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,070 Well? Good stuff, right? 258 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,572 Yeah, I'm going to tell her myself, 259 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,740 because this will literally send her into madness. 260 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:40,645 Why can't you trust me that for once I make things better? 261 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,247 BEVERLY: You did it Cchmoo-Barry! 262 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,049 You went on the big potty! 263 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,217 We'll remember this forever. 264 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,686 No! That's why! 265 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,188 Because you taped over another priceless memory! 266 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:54,092 Chill! I can fix this with another Momtage. 267 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,896 ADULT ADAM: It had been two days since my dad came aboard 268 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,633 my greatest hobby, and the results were epic! 269 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:02,500 Big news! 270 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,768 I got a tin of rugelach. 271 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,337 You two look like you could use a break. 272 00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:08,673 No breaks. We're on a roll. Check it out. 273 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,742 Here's our robot in killer cyborg form. 274 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,711 Here he is shooting his laser-guided fist. 275 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:17,315 And here he is using a doppler radar to predict black ice. 276 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,118 Hoo-hoo! Can you imagine? 277 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,621 Now let's get to work. On what? 278 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,521 Duh. Our robot. 279 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,725 Sure, it won't be easy, but you said you'd tinker. 280 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,393 We can't build this thing. 281 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,128 It's got a time-travel thingy. 282 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,364 This technology doesn't even exist! 283 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,932 Not with that attitude. 284 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,000 Okay, it's on me. 285 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,668 I should have known better than to encourage 286 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:37,702 all this "robit" nonsense. 287 00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:40,405 Oh, like your hobby's so great? The weather. Feh. 288 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,274 Don't "feh" the weather. It can make or break us. 289 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:47,479 Just ask those poor bastards down Tornado Alley. 290 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:47,879 Please. 291 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,682 My robot can defeat any tornado you throw at me. 292 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,651 Easy, fellas. Have some rugelach. 293 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,519 Really? A category-nine twister 294 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,388 versus this tin can? Please! 295 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:59,557 It's got nuts and jam! Just take a taste. 296 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,125 You fool. 297 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:03,461 My robot is made out of indestructible adamantium 298 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,498 and has a drill that can dig into the core of the earth 299 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,134 and change your precious weather patterns. 300 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,036 I should have never agreed to the drill! 301 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,804 I was on the fence about it, 302 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,040 and now you're using it against me! 303 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,141 My own son! 304 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:16,708 Just take a taste. 305 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,844 Al. Enough of your deli cookie, please. 306 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:20,545 Just take a taste! 307 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,147 Look, you're not a little kid anymore. 308 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,082 You got to stop with these toys 309 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,384 and the fantasies and the "robits." 310 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:26,851 It's robot. 311 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,454 Why won't you say it the right way? 312 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,722 Say "robot"! 313 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,157 I am! "Robit"! 314 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:32,924 Ro-bot. 315 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,159 "Robit"! Robot! 316 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,227 "Robit"! Ro-bot! 317 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,029 It doesn't matter what you call it. 318 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,066 You need to find a hobby for a kid your age, 319 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,167 a hobby that's real. 320 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,101 None of this crap is real! 321 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,370 You think I don't know what's not real? 322 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,571 Well, you sure as hell act like it is! 323 00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:49,507 It's called fun, to pretend, to imagine, 324 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,477 to think of things that may be possible one day. 325 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,011 It's what I do. 326 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,979 Hell, I'll go build this robot right now 327 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,915 just to show you anything's possible. 328 00:11:56,917 --> 00:12:00,518 You're gonna go invent a time-traveling "robit" 329 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,353 in your room just to spite me? 330 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,656 Yes, and he will walk and talk 331 00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:07,492 and be the father that you could only hope to be. 332 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:08,560 At this point, I'm very open 333 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,161 to a metal man coming down here 334 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,030 and taking some of this off my plate! 335 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,398 Good! 'Cause it's done! 336 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,968 No, no, no. Again, I'm really into it. 337 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,505 Rugelach is a friendship snack. 338 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:23,408 ADULT ADAM: As I convinced myself to build a robot, 339 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,010 Erica convinced Barry to come clean to my mom. 340 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:29,748 Hi, ma. You can unload those groceries by yourself later. 341 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,217 Right now, we need to talk. 342 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,051 What's wrong, squishy? 343 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,287 First, I'll kick things off with a gravity-defying dunk 344 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,556 dedicated to my very understanding 345 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,824 and forgiving mother. 346 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,493 I named it "I love you, mama." 347 00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,962 You're very sweet to cheer me up, honey. 348 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:44,596 And remember that. 349 00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,431 'Cause after my dunk, I'm gonna tell you all about 350 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,968 how I taped over my birthday, then framed you, 351 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,370 and then taped over even more precious stuff. 352 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,472 Watch me jam it home! 353 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,978 (ALL CHEERING) 354 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,279 That's right, JTP! 355 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,516 Get my mom riled up with your infectious energy! 356 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,018 He soars like an angel! 357 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:07,552 You did it? 358 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,855 And then made me turn against Phil Donahue? 359 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,857 So you lost a few irreplaceable memories, 360 00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:15,326 but think about what you gained! 361 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:16,961 An explosive jampilation 362 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,696 of my sweetest rim encounters! 363 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,165 You think I'd rather have a video 364 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:24,369 of you jam-dunking on some low rim? Seriously? 365 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,771 Low? That's NBA regulation. 366 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:27,806 It's not. I just told you that 367 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,941 to make you feel good about yourself. 368 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:30,909 It's low, bro. Yeah, thing's tiny. 369 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,077 That's not regulation at all. 370 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:33,878 Oh, my God! 371 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,246 I entered the dunk contest 372 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:37,048 at the Villanova game next week! 373 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,316 How could you lie to me? 374 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,618 Because that's what a good mama does. 375 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,252 Shes builds you up 376 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,154 and makes you feel like you can do anything. 377 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,291 I've spent the past decade planning to be 378 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,026 a basketball legend and rap star! 379 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,495 Now I'm just gonna be some lowly rap mogul? 380 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,964 That can't be the life you want for me! 381 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,633 What I want is my old tapes back, 382 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,736 but that's not happening, either, is it? 383 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,472 My life's a sham. 384 00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:02,740 Goodbye, dreams. 385 00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,742 ADULT ADAM: As my brother's dreams were dying, 386 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,078 I was realizing it really was impossible 387 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,580 to give life to a robot. 388 00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,782 Hey! What are the rules? 389 00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,151 Don't come in your room, don't touch your crap, 390 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,285 and don't come in your room to touch your crap. 391 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,921 And right now, you're breaking all of them. Get out. 392 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:17,655 I'm sorry, okay? 393 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,325 But I really need the electrical guts inside this boom box. 394 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,895 For what? To build a spite robot that can replace dad, 395 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,897 a nice one that keeps his pants on. 396 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,398 Take a seat. 397 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,470 All right, how do I say this? Uh... 398 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,472 It's time to give up your stupid thing. 399 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,441 What? No, no, no, no. Never. 400 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,611 Trust me. I'm talking from experience here. 401 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,481 When I was your age, this was my hobby. 402 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,983 Strawberry shortcake. Heard of it? 403 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,652 Yeah, they're those chubby dolls that smell like pie. 404 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:50,822 Put her in your hand and tell me what you smell. 405 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,757 (SNIFFS) 406 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:53,992 Nothing. 407 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,659 Exactly. 408 00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,794 I smelled her so long and so hard 409 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,230 that all the berry is gone, and you know why? 410 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:03,635 Because I was playing with these until I was in the ninth grade. 411 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:04,235 Oh, God. 412 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,205 No one liked this girl, Adam. No one. 413 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,040 Everyone else moved on to real hobbies 414 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:12,477 like sports and boys and wine coolers, 415 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,012 and I was still sniffing the straw. 416 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,848 But robots are way cooler than those dolls. 417 00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:19,918 Are they, Adam? Are they? 418 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,688 It's time, dude. Move on. 419 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:25,924 ADULT ADAM: The last thing I wanted 420 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,559 was to be that sad, little geek in the photo. 421 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,029 At that moment, I realized my dad was right. 422 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:35,400 It was time to give up robots forever. 423 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,338 While Barry's heart was broken 424 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,240 'cause he'd never play in the NBA, 425 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,007 my mom felt even worse 426 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:46,411 'cause she was the one who broke it. 427 00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,246 Goodbye, round mound of rebound. 428 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,248 It would have been nice to be your teammate 429 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,716 until I became a franchise player 430 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,852 and you got traded to Utah in disgrace. 431 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:59,390 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, my mom knew that some taped memory 432 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,625 from the past wasn't as important 433 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,895 as making Barry feel good about his future. 434 00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:06,531 And so Beverly Goldberg did what she does best, 435 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,967 build up her children in an unrealistic way. 436 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,269 BEVERLY: Barry, wait. Mom, I'm going to school 437 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,570 'cause I actually have to learn stuff now 438 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,406 'cause I'm not getting drafted by the Sixers next month. 439 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,708 Love bug, just sit down. 440 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,977 There's something I want you to see. 441 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:19,777 (CLICKS) 442 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,379 ¶ Never surrender 443 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,448 See, I took the word "schmoo" 444 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,551 and combined it with "compilation." 445 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,618 Mom, don't bother. 446 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,487 It's not gonna make anything better. 447 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,154 Shh. 448 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,790 BEVERLY: (ON TV) Starring Barry Goldberg. 449 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:33,858 Hee-yah! 450 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,860 Ne-yah! Ne-yah! 451 00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,061 (GRUNTS) 452 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,663 Fists... 453 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,465 BEVERLY: Kara-te Power! 454 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,233 ¶ You were born a fighter 455 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,903 ¶ In the blood, a mighty warrior 456 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,138 BEVERLY: Jumping Stuff! 457 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,941 ¶ Driven by desire 458 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:50,875 ¶ Glory calls 459 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,043 BEVERLY: Popping and locking! 460 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,146 ¶ It's waiting for you (SCREAMS) I hate this game! 461 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:55,947 BEVERLY: Passion! 462 00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:57,382 ¶ When they try to break you down 463 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,250 ¶ You can take it (WATER RUNNING) 464 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,885 ¶ That don't shake you BEVERLY: Long showers! 465 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,988 ¶ When your back's against the wall (BEEPING) 466 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,758 ¶ The thrill of the fight's got you standing tall 467 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,426 BEVERLY: Treasure! ¶ Never surrender 468 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,229 Adam! Get out! Stop video... 469 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,196 BEVERLY: Hero! (CLAPPING) 470 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,399 ¶ You've got the heart of a hero BEVERLY: Whoo! 471 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,199 ¶ Never Surrender ¶ 472 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,101 But you forgot to mention my frisbee skills... 473 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:20,571 (CLICKS) ...and how easily I can make friends with horses. 474 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,172 See? 475 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,774 You're so much more than basketball, honey. 476 00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:28,112 You are amazingly talented at so many amazing things. 477 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,747 I am good at basically everything. 478 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,883 I just couldn't live with myself 479 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,986 if I knew I took away your dreams. 480 00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:39,390 So, does this mean you forgive me for ruining your tapes? 481 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,059 Of course. 482 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:44,228 Look, I know it's crazy how much I love them, 483 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,365 but they just remind me of a time 484 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,434 when you still needed me. 485 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:49,934 Mom. 486 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,803 Look at all the stuff you do for me. 487 00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:54,338 Everything I am is because of you. 488 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,173 I'll always need you. 489 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,042 (ROD STEWART'S FOREVER YOUNG PLAYING) 490 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,516 Goodbye, R2 and 3PO. 491 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,520 I guess you are not the droids I was looking for. 492 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,090 Well, you did it. 493 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,826 He's giving up all his robots. 494 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:15,626 I didn't want that. 495 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,096 I just wanted him to grow up a little bit. 496 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:18,696 Look at him. 497 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,298 He's watching the damn weather. 498 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,534 He has the rest of his life to be one of us. 499 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,203 Why rush him into it? 500 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:28,673 Oh, damn. I hate when you're right. 501 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,876 ¶ And may sunshine and happiness 502 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:32,477 Where you going? 503 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:36,147 I'm gonna finish a learning-based project. 504 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,082 ADULT ADAM: Just as I had given up robots, 505 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:42,019 my dad went out and bought me the one I always wanted. 506 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,354 ¶ Dignified and true (WHIRRING) 507 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:47,758 MURRAY: Hello, Earth Boy. It's me, Short Circuit. 508 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,793 Just go away. 509 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,362 Be-bop-boop! Be-bop-boop! 510 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,663 Not interested. 511 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,233 MURRAY: But Jimmy 5 is alive! 512 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,236 (CHUCKLES) I'm alive! 513 00:18:58,838 --> 00:18:59,370 (BLEEP) 514 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,973 It's Johnny 5, and you're not alive. 515 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:02,807 You're a stupid toy. 516 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,742 ¶ And in my heart, you'll always stay 517 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,944 Look. I know what I said. 518 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:07,512 ¶ Forever young 519 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:11,549 And I'd never want you to stop with the "robit" stuff 520 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,750 because of me. 521 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:13,284 It's fine, dad. 522 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,653 You're not the only one who said I should move on. 523 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,454 Well, they're wrong. 524 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,556 I like that you got a big imagination 525 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,993 and you like all that crazy time-travel stuff. 526 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,628 You do? Yeah. 527 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:24,529 It's what makes you, you, 528 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,130 and I wouldn't want to change that. 529 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,732 ¶ Build a stairway to heaven 530 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,768 Maybe a little. You're a weird kid. 531 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,302 Thanks. 532 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,937 So what do you say we take this sucker out 533 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,273 and try and get it struck by lightning? 534 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,141 Bring this "robit" to life. 535 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:37,742 It's robot. 536 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,778 And it's impossible to know when lightning's gonna strike next. 537 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,315 Hey. You got your hobby. I got mine. 538 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,316 ADULT ADAM: And with that, 539 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,552 my dad and I combined our hobbies. 540 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,754 Of course, lightning never struck my robot 541 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,655 and Jimmy 5 never came alive. 542 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:54,458 But that night, my dad and I made a memory 543 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,827 that would last a lifetime, 544 00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:01,098 something we would always have to look back on. 545 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,201 ¶ Forever young (SNIFFS) 546 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:06,437 ADULT ADAM: That's the thing about letting go of the past. 547 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:07,071 It's never easy. 548 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,774 And sometimes, we never let go of it at all. 549 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,108 But the amazing thing about life 550 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:16,113 is that we make new precious memories every single day. 551 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,181 ¶ Forever young Hey, mom. 552 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:20,518 I was gonna go outside and throw down some monster jams. 553 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,887 Maybe you want to come watch? 554 00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,122 I'd love to, baby. 555 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:29,527 ¶ Forever young 556 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:33,331 ADULT ADAM: And the memories come when you least expect it. 557 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:38,436 ¶ Forever young ¶ 558 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,537 ALL: Oh! 559 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,771 (LAUGHTER) 560 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,174 (ALL CHEERING) 561 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,016 ALL: Oh! 562 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,652 I have awful news. 563 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:55,519 Do you remember that video of me 564 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,588 playing with my strawberry shortcake dolls 565 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,923 when I was little? 566 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,558 I accidentally taped over it. 567 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,759 Erica, how could you? 568 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,862 I'm sorry. I guess I just messed up like Barry did. 569 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,497 Yeah, that's a real shame. 570 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,532 Lucky for us, I made a copy. 571 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:09,634 What? 572 00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:10,401 Oh. Barry! 573 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,203 ERICA: (ON TV) Good morning, blueberry muffin! 574 00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,137 You smell delicious today! 575 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,605 Oh, why, thank you, cherry cuddler. 576 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,608 Do you want to join us at the berry bake shoppe for tea? 577 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,310 Oh, well, I can't because I have plans 578 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,013 with my boyfriend, David Hasselhoff! 579 00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,914 (ALL LAUGHING) So adorable. 580 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,049 You're so dead! 581 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,417 Classic. So awkward. 582 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,219 I love her so much.