1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,303 ADULT ADAM: If you were a girl growing up in the '80s, 2 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:08,007 the pajama party was a night of epic adventure. 3 00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:08,640 Okay, listen up. 4 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,309 This next decision is, like, super important. 5 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,145 Okay. Do we watch Adventures In Babysitting, 6 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:16,248 Pretty in Pink, or Troop Beverly Hills? 7 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,383 ALL: Troop Beverly Hills 8 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,250 I was hoping you'd say that! 9 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,720 Shelley Long has a black belt in shopping! 10 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:22,855 It's very funny to me. 11 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:25,324 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. This is so fun. 12 00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,859 I love you all so much! 13 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,494 (ALL SQUEAL) 14 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,363 ¶ Come on down It's cookie time 15 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,464 ALL: ¶ It's cookie time ¶ 16 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,200 ADULT ADAM: Troop Beverly Hills was the ultimate girl cult movie. 17 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:39,204 It had it all, songs, shopping, and Shelley Long. 18 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,140 ¶ It's cookie time 19 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,641 ¶ It's cookie time ¶ 20 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,742 ADULT ADAM: My mom loved it, too, 21 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,778 because the girls were still young enough 22 00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,379 to let her join the troop. 23 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,547 And even though Erica and her gal pals 24 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,284 got older and cooler, they never left their favorite tradition behind. 25 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:55,621 Just heard Mark McGonagall's throwing a Rager Saturday night. 26 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,689 He lets the girls do keg stands first. 27 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,524 He's such a gentleman. 28 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,659 Or we do our annual pajama party, make s'mores, 29 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,595 and recite every word of Troop Beverly Hills. 30 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,163 Ugh, so lame. 31 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,831 You know you're dying to do it. 32 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:06,398 I am. Yay! 33 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,800 Oh, my God, this is gonna be so fun! 34 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:10,135 Oh, my God, this is gonna be so fun! 35 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,805 No! Take off the mom pajamas 36 00:01:12,807 --> 00:01:13,906 and stop doing what you're doing. 37 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,741 Please let me be your Shelley Long! 38 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,476 We'll call it Troop Beverly, just like in the old days. 39 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,979 That's when we were too young to know how unbearably annoying you were. 40 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:24,083 No offense taken. But come on. 41 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,819 Your pajama parties are the only reminder I have 42 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,754 of when you were happy, tiny girls 43 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,356 and not Godforsaken teenage monsters. 44 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,224 Look at me, Mom! 45 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,793 There is no Troop Beverly anymore. 46 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,495 End of story. 47 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:37,763 Dude, did you hear that? 48 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,866 Your sister's having her hot friends over for a lingerie party. 49 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,468 Pretty sure I heard "pajama." 50 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,535 Bet they're gonna have pillow fights, 51 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,305 tickle fights, and other fights we can't even imagine! 52 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,606 Easy, Dave Kim. That's my sister. 53 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,777 We can hide your video camera when they're having their party. 54 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,045 Yes! Oh, my God! 55 00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:53,912 Again, that's my sister. 56 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:57,015 Dude, this is our one chance to peek behind the curtain 57 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,551 and gain insight into young womanhood. 58 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:00,953 Well, on one hand, 59 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,622 it's an unforgivable invasion of privacy. 60 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:07,993 On the other hand, girls are a perplexing mystery, 61 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,529 and filming them for education purposes 62 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,532 could provide some helpful insight. 63 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,067 Let's do it! 64 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:15,467 Yes! 65 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,704 Aw, man! We're gonna be the coolest guys in school! 66 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,807 ADULT ADAM: We were not. 67 00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,042 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 68 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:30,115 ¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 69 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,416 ¶ I don't know the future 70 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:35,220 ¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 71 00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,556 ADULT ADAM: It was November 11th, 1980-something, 72 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,258 and Barry and Pops just discovered 73 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,628 Willow Grove Mall had a new store. 74 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,329 Holy crap, puppies! 75 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,598 They're so fluffy and adorable! 76 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,699 They're like the kittens of dogs! 77 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:52,104 Look! That one's falling asleep while standing up. 78 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,305 I've done that. 79 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,339 Oh, not so fast. 80 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,208 Look, I don't want to sound like your father, 81 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,809 but you can't go in there. 82 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,878 You're deathly allergic to dogs. 83 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,380 Ugh! Why? 84 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,414 I know, it's rough. 85 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:07,085 But I'll be at your side in solidarity. 86 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,220 Oooh... 87 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,422 That fuzzy one just sneezed. 88 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,390 I'll see you in 10. 89 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,858 ADULT ADAM: My brother's violent dog allergy 90 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,127 had always been a source of great frustration. 91 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:18,997 But that day, the lure of cute, cuddly puppies 92 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,499 was too much for Barry. 93 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,867 There's nothing to worry about. 94 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,203 This thin mesh barrier will protect me. 95 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:27,539 ADULT ADAM: But as Barry stared down into that pit of adorableness, 96 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,509 he lost his balance and tumbled into furry danger. 97 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,278 Oh, God, no! Not puppies! 98 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,613 Hold your breath, Barry! 99 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,348 I'm gonna, I'm gonna die! 100 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,250 They're so cute, but deadly! 101 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,184 They're gonna kill me! 102 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:43,822 Uh, kiddo, you seem totally fine. 103 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:44,990 You're right. I am! 104 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:48,627 Get on in here, you! I'm the puppy king! 105 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,331 Dad! You won't believe it. 106 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,133 I'm alive! I'm actually alive! 107 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:55,867 Ask your mother. 108 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,869 I spent the entire afternoon 109 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,171 in a puppy pit cheating death. 110 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:02,107 You always said the reason we can't get a dog is 'cause of me. 111 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,443 Forget what happened in the puppy pit. 112 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,244 That was a fluke. 113 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,646 You are crazy allergic to dogs. Wrong! 114 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,215 My insanely strong immune system 115 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:10,983 has grown so powerful 116 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,118 that I'm no longer allergic to anything on earth. 117 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,387 No. Stop. Don't think that. 118 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:15,921 It's the truth! 119 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,991 I'll go outside right now and roll in poison oak. You'll see. 120 00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:20,425 I made it up, okay? 121 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,927 You're not allergic to dogs. What? 122 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,997 The only reason I said that is because when you were a kid, 123 00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:27,633 you asked for one every damn day! 124 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,001 Do you realize you've denied me 125 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,802 the sidekick I've always longed for? 126 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,404 I'm okay with that. Do you know how many times 127 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,573 I had to play Frisbee by myself? 128 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,041 How many times I got caught in a well? 129 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,909 Look, I got enough ungrateful kids 130 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:38,710 around here to take care of. 131 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,180 The last thing I need is an ungrateful animal to take care of. 132 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,415 Get me a dog. No. 133 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,249 Get me a dog! No! 134 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,151 I'm gonna keep saying it until I get 135 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,320 the four-legged friend I deserve! 136 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,155 Give me a dog! No! Stop asking. 137 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,056 It's not gonna happen. 138 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,524 Give me a dog. No. 139 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:53,659 Give me a dog. No. 140 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,559 Give me a dog. No. 141 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:55,727 Give me a dog. No. 142 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,296 Give me a dog. No. 143 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,263 Give me a dog. No. 144 00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,598 Give me a dog. No. 145 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,133 Give me a dog. No. 146 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,467 Give me a dog. No. 147 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,568 Give me a dog. No. 148 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,671 Give me a dog. Fine! 149 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:09,374 But if I say yes, promise me you'll take care of it. 150 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,609 It's your dog. 151 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,076 Yes! 152 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,411 Now I'm not the only one in the house 153 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,980 who has to take his pill in cheese! 154 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,182 ADULT ADAM: While Barry finally got his wish for a dog, 155 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,819 me and my crew were getting our greatest wish. 156 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,654 Thanks to cutting-edge VHS technology, 157 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,858 we would learn the secrets of womanhood. 158 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:32,931 Okay. I just snuck a cable from the bedroom to the basement. 159 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,866 Fingers crossed, boys. 160 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,803 Oh! Yes! 161 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,538 (CHEERING) 162 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,541 Okay, enough! Silence! 163 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,676 Dave Kim needs to focus. 164 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,113 It's happening. 165 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,682 Today we learn the secrets of womanhood. 166 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,718 This is the best moment of my life. 167 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,318 I love you guys. 168 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,354 ¶ We're the girls from Beverly Hills 169 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:56,722 ¶ One, two, three, four 170 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,890 ¶ Shopping is our greatest skill ¶ 171 00:05:58,892 --> 00:05:59,524 (LAUGHTER) 172 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,360 What the hell? They're just watching a dumb movie. 173 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,295 Come of age already, damn it! 174 00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:05,297 Hit each other with pillows! 175 00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:08,233 Okay, who wants pizza ro... Oh, my God! 176 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,502 What is happening here? (GASPS) 177 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,605 Okay, I can totally explain this. 178 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:14,639 Run! 179 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,907 You're grounded, Adam! 180 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,043 And I'm calling your mothers! 181 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,711 GIRL: Oooh! 182 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,545 Pbht! (LAUGHTER) 183 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:24,116 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, my mother realized she had found a way 184 00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:27,219 into Erica's pajama party, and into her life. 185 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,754 Oooh... 186 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,288 I'll just watch for a little bit. 187 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,823 ADULT ADAM: And she couldn't resist. 188 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,926 Should I do a loose crimp or a tighter, more intense one? 189 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,395 Tight crimp. Tight crimp. 190 00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,930 Loose. Yeah, no, whatever. 191 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:39,431 Loose is good. 192 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,533 ADULT ADAM: That night, my mom had the time of her life 193 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,068 being a secret member of Erica's troop. 194 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,604 ...three different girls, and then he broke up with Heather. 195 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,972 Heather G or Heather S? 196 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,340 Hello, principal ball. 197 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:49,941 This is your butt doctor calling. 198 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,412 We found a problem. Your head was up there. 199 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,679 (LAUGHS) 200 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:55,280 Tell him he's bald! 201 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:58,984 So, if you add a white line across the top, it's a French manicure. 202 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:02,621 Well, don't I just look like Zsa Zsa Gabor. 203 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,055 Shi-shi frou-frou. 204 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,824 Um, Erica? 205 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,260 What's that? 206 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,195 Oh... (BLEEP) 207 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,264 Someone's dead! 208 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,800 Ow! 209 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,868 Ow. Fudgy, fudgy, fudge! 210 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,869 Fudgy, fudge... 211 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:21,072 Are you spying on our pajama party? 212 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,674 Before you say anything, I got to know, 213 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,608 is it Heather G or Heather S? 214 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,644 I don't even know what to say! 215 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,947 You have never, ever stooped so low! 216 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,184 I have. You just haven't caught me. 217 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,486 Shut up and listen. 218 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,455 I've narrowed down the exact breed of dog 219 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,791 that best matches my personality and lifestyle. 220 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,559 Good morning to you, too. 221 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,328 Our dog will either be the kind that looks like a sheep... 222 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,796 Sheepdog. A Cujo... 223 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,731 Book, not a breed. A McGruff... 224 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,500 That's a cartoon crime dog. 225 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,702 Or a bear crossed with a poodle. 226 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,204 ADAM: Not possible. 227 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,338 Surprise, surprise! 228 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,140 Look who's back from the dog pound! 229 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,742 Whoa, whoa, wait! You got a dog without me? 230 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:58,710 It better be a grizzly-poodle. 231 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,413 Seriously. If it's not a grizzoodle, I don't want it. 232 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:02,247 MURRAY: It's this thing. 233 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,550 Erica, come see how sweet and not awful I am! 234 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:06,184 He's perfect! 235 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,654 He is a she, and you owe me 8 bucks for shots and gas. 236 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,622 Okay, okay. She needs a name. 237 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:15,126 From this point on, this animal will only be known as Jean Gog Van Damme. 238 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,895 No, wait! Arnold Schwarzendogger. 239 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:20,398 No, wait! Dogvester Stallone. 240 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,567 No, wait! Lucky. 241 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,236 Erica, come meet Lucky. 242 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:26,004 It's a perfect name, 'cause she's so lucky 243 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,574 to live with a family that's so loving and forgiving. 244 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,710 Getting a dog doesn't change my mind 245 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,944 that you're a garbage mom. 246 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,246 (BABY VOICE) But that doesn't mean 247 00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:38,416 I can't give this sweetie petey some lovey wubbies! 248 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,651 Yes, I will! 249 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:40,252 Yes, I will! 250 00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:42,687 Everyone's happy but me. Seems right. 251 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:46,358 ADULT ADAM: And so Barry finally got his doggy sidekick. 252 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,726 Or so he thought. 253 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:51,863 There you are, girl! Come on! It's time to train! 254 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,232 I thought we'd skip "sit" and go to the important stuff, 255 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,434 like how to grind some rails and solve crimes. 256 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,371 Will you be quiet? I'm trying to watch the game. 257 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,439 Just take the thing and go. 258 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,641 (BARKING) 259 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:03,375 Whoa! Easy, girl. 260 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,876 Maybe you should just give her a little space. 261 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,679 Please. Does that look like the face of a dog 262 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,781 who doesn't utterly worship her master? 263 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:10,882 (GROWLING) 264 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,717 Yeah, yeah. He's a moron. 265 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,586 Just settle down. 266 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,088 Ooh. That's nice and toasty. 267 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,791 You know, she's clearly tired. 268 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,359 (GROWLING) 269 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,127 Get some rest, Lucky. 270 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:26,164 I'll teach you how to karate chop a board with your paws tomorrow. 271 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:28,667 Toasty. 272 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,936 ADULT ADAM: As my dad warmed up to the dog, 273 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,404 Erica pulled out the big guns 274 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,639 and gave my mom the cold shoulder. 275 00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:36,408 There's favorite daughter. 276 00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,410 How was school, squishy? 277 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,147 Oh, now it's the silent treatment, huh? 278 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:42,714 Fine. 279 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,516 I'll wait for you to come around. 280 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,083 (DRAWER SLAMS) 281 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,152 Okay, look, I know what I did was wrong, 282 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:47,986 but I had no choice. 283 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,789 You completely cut me out of your life! 284 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,625 Invasive spy cams are all I got. 285 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,759 (DRAWER SLAMS) 286 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:55,894 Okay, this is ridiculous. 287 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:56,795 You forgive me right now 288 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:59,864 and let me hug your body or you're grounded. 289 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,766 Okay. Now I'll talk. 290 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,402 If anyone here is grounded, it's you. 291 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,404 You can't ground me, I'm your mother. (SNICKERS) 292 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,674 I just did. You're grounded from my life. 293 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:12,510 You're not allowed to participate in it ever again. 294 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,145 You know what, I've had enough. 295 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,514 You want me out of your life? You got it. 296 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,350 We'll see how you do without me for a week. 297 00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,018 You know that isn't a punishment, right? 298 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,687 Oh, we'll see. And when you come crawling back, 299 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,056 begging for your mother's help and guidance, 300 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,025 we both know what'll happen then. 301 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,994 You'll scoop me up in your arms. 302 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:31,396 And smother you with kisses! 303 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,765 Deal with that, sucka! 304 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,505 ADULT ADAM: It wasn't like my dad to want a dog... 305 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:43,508 Until he met the dog that was just like him. 306 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,110 What the hell is Lucky wearing? 307 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,711 Did you make my dog an Eagles jersey? 308 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:49,280 Sure did. You put effort into something? 309 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,448 Can you believe it? 310 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,516 And look what I put on the back. 311 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:56,488 Instead of Jaworski, I put "Paworski." 312 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,289 'Cause it has paws. 313 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,625 Because it's a dog. 314 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,293 Not cool! 315 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:03,094 (GROWLS) 316 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,664 Dad's turned the dog against me! 317 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,499 This was my dream, and... 318 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:08,800 Dude, what do you got there? 319 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,035 I'm making a dog puppet arm 320 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,404 for when Lucky needs to grab stuff in my home movies. 321 00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:15,640 I'm gonna make Turner & Hooch, but watchable. 322 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:16,307 You can't direct Lucky. 323 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,377 Your terrible changing voice will hurt her sensitive dog ears. 324 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,146 Besides, I can't even get her away from dad 325 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,448 to play Frisbee with me. This is bullcrap! 326 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,383 Dad hasn't turned Lucky against you. 327 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,887 The dog just listens to him 'cause he's the Alpha male. 328 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:29,654 The wha? 329 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,889 The boss. Numero uno. 330 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,992 Lucky has to follow dad. It's nature. 331 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,027 Nature is an idiot. 332 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:36,861 I'm number uno. 333 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:40,031 In Lucky's eyes, you're ranked number four in this family. 334 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,766 No way! Clearly dad's one. 335 00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,968 Pops is an elder, so that makes him two. 336 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,603 I have a power alliance with Pops, 337 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,405 so that puts me at three and you at four. 338 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,942 Four? That's the copper medal of the Olympics! 339 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,277 Only one thing left to do. 340 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,746 I shall challenge dad to a showdown 341 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,815 and become the Alpha! 342 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,718 It's okay, Barry. 343 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,253 Good Barry. 344 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,856 Good Barry. Good Barry. Stop! 345 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,157 ADULT ADAM: As Barry was ready to challenge my dad, 346 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:10,128 Beverly was ready for Erica to admit that a few days without her were impossible. 347 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:14,899 And there it is, the one thing I know you can't resist... 348 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,934 My seven-meat meatloaf. 349 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,435 (CHUCKLES) I knew you'd give in. 350 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,471 Thanks, but I'll eat at Lainey's. 351 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:20,271 Got to study for mid-terms. 352 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,841 Woof, must be tough not having your mom there 353 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,576 to help you hit the books this week, huh? 354 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,010 Actually, this week's been pretty good. 355 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,813 Look into your heart and tell me the truth. 356 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:32,851 No, you're right. This week's been pretty great. 357 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:33,218 Stop. 358 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:34,652 You haven't missed my back scratches? No. 359 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,423 How I lay on your sheets to warm them up before bedtime? 360 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:38,957 God, no. 361 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,492 The love notes I write you on the steamy shower door? No. 362 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:43,461 The way I suck out the pits of your olives. No! 363 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,697 Just admit you learned your lesson. 364 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,899 Life is worse without your mama. 365 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,969 I'm sorry, but this week has proven that I'm an adult 366 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,471 and I can take care of myself. 367 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,405 I don't have all the facts, 368 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,041 but I think this one goes in the "lost" column. 369 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,144 This is the worst thing to happen to me 370 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,312 since Adam learned to walk. 371 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:05,049 My God. I can't believe how easy it is to sneak downtown 372 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,417 when you don't have a mom in your life. 373 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,753 Yeah. Mine's been gone since I was 12. 374 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,387 It's the best. 375 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,790 So, where are the tickets? What tickets? 376 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,124 I thought we'd buy some from a scalper. 377 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,226 Isn't that really, really illegal? 378 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:15,827 Definitely. 379 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,329 Hey, dude, you got any tickets? 380 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,732 Yeah, 10th row center. 381 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,200 You interested? 382 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,434 Hells yeah we are. 383 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,702 Hells yeah you aren't. 384 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,704 Oh, no. Oh, God. 385 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:27,872 You got ID? 386 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:28,640 I do have ID? 387 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,642 Is it a fake ID? You know what, just arrest us. 388 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,110 This isn't gonna get any better. 389 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,478 ADULT ADAM: As Erica sank to rock bottom, 390 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,081 Barry was about to make his move to the top of the heap. 391 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,384 Murray Terrence Goldberg, 392 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,854 I challenge you to feats of strength. 393 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:43,488 Terrence? 394 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,690 Do you actually think that's my middle name? 395 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,291 Silence! 396 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,259 Prepare to engage in a wrestling match 397 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:51,296 so the dog can bear witness to my true dominance. 398 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,964 Put on this Mexican fighting mask. 399 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,432 No. Then take off your shirt. 400 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:58,002 I'm not gonna wrestle you with or without clothing. 401 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:58,436 Fine! 402 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,572 Then Lucky will recognize me as the Alpha 403 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,807 after I launch heavy items into the air 404 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,276 using pure power and brute strength. 405 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,178 (GRUNTS) 406 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,246 It's slipping! No! Look away, Lucky! 407 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:12,383 Why isn't this working? I'm lifting with my back like you're supposed to! 408 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,219 Okay, stop with the lifting. 409 00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,355 Look, it's not my fault the dog hangs around me. 410 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,923 We just get each other. 411 00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:20,658 Oh, my God. 412 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,260 You love her! I do not. 413 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,928 There's actual love in your heart, 414 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,129 and you're using it for the dog. 415 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,231 I do not love the dog. Fine. 416 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:29,167 Then you won't care if I return her. Where's the receipt? 417 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:32,537 She's family! You can't return family! 418 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,504 Believe me, I've checked. 419 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,374 Fine. Then from now on her name is Traitor. 420 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,309 Don't do that. Come here, Traitor. 421 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,143 Do not call her Traitor. 422 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,946 That's a goody-woody little Traitor. 423 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,282 Don't use a baby voice to call her Traitor! 424 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,183 Then admit you love her! 425 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,551 You know what, we don't need this crap. 426 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,652 Come on, Luckster. Let's go for a walk. 427 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:50,321 ADULT ADAM: As Barry realized he'd been replaced by a dog, 428 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,424 Erica and Lainey were realizing they were in deep trouble. 429 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:57,762 (BUZZER) You get one phone call. Make it count. 430 00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,230 Yes. One call. 431 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,432 No-brainer. We're calling your mom. 432 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:01,966 No way! 433 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,235 I told her I could live my life without her. 434 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,837 You're in jail. You clearly can't. 435 00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:08,773 It took me 16 years to get to this position. 436 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,108 I can't go back. 437 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,709 Well, call someone. 438 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,946 (PHONE RINGS) 439 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:15,880 Hello? 440 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,982 Hey. Is pops there? 441 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:21,419 I'm studying, and I have a question about World War... 442 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:25,556 I or II or whatever one he was in. 443 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,625 (SIGHS) Hold on. 444 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,294 Hi, sweetheart. What's doing? 445 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:32,630 I'm in major trouble and mom will kill me, so just act normal. 446 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,865 Okeydokey, smokey. 447 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,733 That doesn't sound normal. That sounds crazy! 448 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,202 Yessiree, sir, indeedy-doo! 449 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:39,337 Just don't talk. 450 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,739 Okeydokey... (MUMBLES) 451 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,274 Just come to the police station downtown. 452 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:47,812 I know you lost your license and will need to steal a car, but I need you. 453 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:52,450 So if you'll help, just say, "America won the war." 454 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,953 America won the war! 455 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,089 And just like that, 456 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,925 pops floored it to Erica's rescue. 457 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,431 Evening, Officer. 458 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,232 Pull over now. 459 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,001 (HORNS HONKING) 460 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,770 Any idea how fast you were driving? 461 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,038 Fifty? Three. 462 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,740 Fifty three? Just three. 463 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:17,108 Well, that sounds very safe. 464 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,243 It's not. Can I see your license? 465 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,947 Sure thing, Officer. It's right down here. 466 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:27,118 Kiss my grits, porky! 467 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,619 (TIRES SPIN) 468 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,154 (IGNITION STOPS) 469 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:30,855 You're still in park. 470 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:35,326 In my defense, I haven't driven in two years... 471 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,662 'Cause I have no license. 472 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,031 Pops, thank God you're here! 473 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,300 I'm in really big trouble, Erica! 474 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,268 Call your mother! 475 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,472 My sister had set out to prove 476 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,540 she could live life without my mom. 477 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,109 And she failed miserably. 478 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,277 Don't you two worry. We'll be fine. 479 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,514 No matter what happens, we got each other's back. 480 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,750 Mr. Solomon, you're free to go. 481 00:16:58,752 --> 00:16:59,484 Pops out! 482 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,086 ERICA: Mom, seriously? What about us? 483 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,521 Yeah, do that thing where you scream 484 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,456 and dig into the officer's personal life 485 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,425 so much that he sets us free. 486 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:09,193 (SIGHS) 487 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,763 She only does that for people who want her in their life. 488 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:15,366 No silent treatment! That's my thing. 489 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,835 You know what she wants to hear. 490 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,037 Fine! (SIGHS) 491 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,139 (SOFTLY) I need you in my life. 492 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,340 (SIGHS) She didn't hear you. 493 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,910 I need you in my stupid life! Gah! 494 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,745 She wants to know if you mean it. 495 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,948 You're not just saying it because you're in prison. 496 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,850 Sure, there's that. 497 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,585 But you're my mom. 498 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,554 Of course I mean it. 499 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:44,195 There's no way I'm going to the concert now, right? 500 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:47,065 COP: She says, "God, no." Right. 501 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,234 BARRY: Hey. 502 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,770 Mmm. Can we talk? 503 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:56,674 Look, I'm no longer gonna demand you be my sidekick. 504 00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,211 I know I'm not the Alpha or the Beta. 505 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,980 I'm whatever comes last in the Greek letters. 506 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,048 I think it's Zorbo. 507 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,217 See, ever since I was a little boy, 508 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,318 I wanted a dog like you. 509 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,053 Not 'cause you could jet-ski 510 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:12,690 or break-dance or deflect grenades with your paws. 511 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,891 I just wanted a friend. 512 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,693 And I didn't have many growing up. 513 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,596 But I do now. And a hot girlfriend. 514 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:22,300 So I guess I don't need you as much as I used to. 515 00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:26,070 But my dad, he could use a cool friend like you. 516 00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:29,674 Dude's a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. 517 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,509 So, we cool? 518 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,478 Right. You can't talk. 519 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,346 You can't talk, right? 520 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,282 The dog can't talk, Barry. 521 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,885 Hey, that was a private conference 522 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,820 between me and Traitor. 523 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,289 Look, I'm not the Alpha. 524 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,325 But the dog always sits right next to you. 525 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:48,392 That's because of the scraps. 526 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:53,264 There's all sorts of tasty shrapnel flying around here. 527 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,566 Here. Give her a try. 528 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:57,735 Whoa! 529 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,837 She likes me! Of course she does. 530 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:00,538 You're a likeable kid. 531 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,274 So, does this mean we can share the dog? 532 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,008 (SIGHS) I don't care. 533 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,477 Come on. Say it. Say you love her. 534 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,378 She's fine. Say it! 535 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,147 She's fine. You love the dog. 536 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,149 I love the dog! 537 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,651 Me too. 538 00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:19,757 ADULT ADAM: That day, we opened our hearts to a new family member. 539 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,227 And Erica opened her heart to my mom. 540 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:27,098 Smells yummy. Since when do you bake? 541 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,333 Just felt like cookie time. 542 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,574 What's all this? 543 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,510 It's hard to say. (CHUCKLES) 544 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,214 (VOICE BREAKING) Even though I'm grown up 545 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,783 and I don't need you... 546 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,386 I still do. 547 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,189 I always will. 548 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:56,594 After everything I did, you still bailed me out. 549 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,697 So, I thought I'd finally give you 550 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,800 the pajama party that you deserve. 551 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,803 Oh, honey. 552 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,406 So, what do you say? 553 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,341 Troop Beverly? 554 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,310 Troop Beverly. 555 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,111 ADULT ADAM: And in the end it was all worth it. 556 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,414 Not only did my mom and sister start a new tradition, 557 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:20,251 but my dad, Barry, and their new sidekick did, too. 558 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:23,688 Because that's what makes a family great. 559 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:24,889 Yes! Yes! 560 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:25,523 Oh, yeah! 561 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,726 It's not just the big moments. It's the simple things. 562 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,229 Like cheering on your favorite team, 563 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:31,996 roasting marshmallows, 564 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:35,066 or finding out the people you've been keeping at a distance 565 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,435 are actually the people you're closest to. 566 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,036 So, tell me the truth. 567 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,739 Was it heather G or heather S? 568 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,975 Heather T. 569 00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:46,877 No! (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 570 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,883 ADAM: Luck Tin Tin, take one. 571 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:55,286 Hey, kid! Give me your money! 572 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,921 Hey, who are you? 573 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,322 (GRUNTS) 574 00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,391 Luck Tin Tin! 575 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,993 Save me! 576 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,427 Luck Tin Tin, attack! 577 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,929 Oh, yeah! Luck Tin Tin! 578 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,731 Pa-pow! Pow! 579 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,566 Aah! Oh, no! No! 580 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:11,502 No! No! Don't hurt me! 581 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,471 (WHIMPERING) 582 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,708 Hey, who are you? 583 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:18,809 Give me your money... 584 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,279 No! No, get away! Aah! 585 00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:23,014 Luck Tin Tin! 586 00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:24,782 Save me! 587 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:27,752 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 588 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:30,888 Luck Tin Tin, help me! Help! Lucky!