1 00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:02,234 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s before we could easily text money 2 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:05,237 to any charity we wished, we had the world-famous charity craze 3 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,740 that completely swept the entire country. 4 00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:10,776 Hands Across America. It's happening this weekend, 5 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:14,113 and you will not make coach look bad. 6 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:14,913 All right, listen up. 7 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,216 This limited-edition, government-issued visor 8 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:20,719 means that I have been personally appointed regional captain 9 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,021 because I volunteered. 10 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,423 It is my duty to make sure everybody in this town 11 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:27,359 forms a human chain to stop the homeless. 12 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,927 Questions. 13 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,029 Goldberg. 14 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,964 Isn't it kind of mean to form a chain 15 00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,866 and not let the homeless people pass through? 16 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:34,900 That was my first thought, too, 17 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,969 but it was explained to me that we would be allowing 18 00:00:36,971 --> 00:00:39,138 the homeless to come and go as they please. 19 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,305 Goldberg again. 20 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:40,973 Still confused. 21 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:42,574 Um, how does holding hands help anyone? 22 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,277 Hello. Everyone in America is gonna hold hands at once 23 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,879 to show we are symbolically unified 24 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,981 in our fight to end homelessness. 25 00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:49,748 It's beautiful, really. 26 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,217 Hell, I wish I had more than two hands. 27 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:52,985 Yes, we get it. 28 00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,154 You're the socially aware girl. 29 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,657 No reason to showboat about it, other Goldberg. 30 00:00:58,659 --> 00:00:59,458 I'll stop talking. 31 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,628 Now, in the spirit of the event, 32 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,663 let's hit the floor and practice. 33 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,132 (BLOWS WHISTLE) Let's go! Move it! 34 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:08,901 Grab and squeeze, people! 35 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,602 Interlace those fingers! 36 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,203 Engage every digit! 37 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:14,940 I want to see hustle, and I want to see determination! 38 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:17,276 Yeah! Let me feel it! 39 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,512 There it is. A chain. 40 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,553 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 41 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:32,324 ¶ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say 42 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:34,993 ¶ I don't know the future 43 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:38,363 ¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 44 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:41,533 ADULT ADAM: It was the second Wednesday of the month, 1980-something, 45 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:42,634 and the Harvest Hop was coming up. 46 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,804 It was the first dance where you had to ask someone. 47 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,506 I mean, seriously, why do I have to wait 48 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,275 for some meathead to ask me to a lame-ass dance? 49 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,411 Because that's how society works. 50 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:52,978 Count me out. 51 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,047 Well, I have it on good authority 52 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:57,583 that Adam Abel is going to ask someone today. 53 00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,385 (SCOFFS) I could give a crap about that nerd. 54 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,154 (GASPS) He's coming this way. 55 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,355 Go, go, go! 56 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,389 Hey. 57 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:08,794 Pam, you, um, have a date to the dance and stuff? 58 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,863 PAM: (CHUCKLES) No. 59 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,432 Are you okay? 60 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,033 (BLOWS RASPBERRIES) 61 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,468 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 62 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,836 Why wouldn't I be? 63 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,438 (SOBBING) 64 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,274 You sure you're okay? No, genius. 65 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,443 I'm like the only girl who didn't get asked. 66 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,677 That's freaking humiliating. 67 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:30,415 Well, you can always go with your awesome best friend. 68 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:31,150 Ew. 69 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,951 Stop! It'll be fun. 70 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,386 We can goof on everyone. 71 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,754 Dana can't fly out to go with me. 72 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,157 This way we're not total losers without dates. 73 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,425 Normally, I'd roll my eyes and punch you, 74 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,162 but honestly, I'm desperate, so yes. 75 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,730 Dear God, yes. 76 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,031 Get off me, dork. 77 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,100 You're a complicated person. 78 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,835 ADULT ADAM: Turns out, the only good thing 79 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,203 about having a girlfriend in Seattle 80 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,839 was I was completely free to help out a friend. 81 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,908 (DOORBELL RINGS) Or not. 82 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:56,775 Surprise! What? Why? 83 00:02:56,777 --> 00:03:00,612 My grandma broke her hip, so my parents are letting me visit her. 84 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,647 So lucky. 85 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,882 For us. She's bummed. 86 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,450 So we get to go to the dance! 87 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,286 Yeah, about the dance. 88 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:09,254 Oh, my God. You're not excited. 89 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:12,891 You're going with someone else? Are we not us anymore? 90 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,626 No, of course we're us. 91 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:18,931 I'm going with you, my girlfriend, who I love. 92 00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,332 Mmm! 93 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,300 I'm so excited. 94 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,267 Me also excited. 95 00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,670 ADULT ADAM: As I was reeling from my two dates to the dance, 96 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:27,773 my mom was reeling after a visit with Virginia Kremp. 97 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:30,842 BEVERLY: Is that your family at the flower show again? 98 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,745 The Inquirer put your picture in the paper last year. 99 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,648 Oh, well, Charles won top florist again. 100 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,952 His topiary of Rosa Parks was the real star. 101 00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,353 Well, all I know is you got another 102 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,322 stunning picture of your whole family. 103 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,757 You're like the freaking Kennedys of Jenkintown. 104 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,126 Please, no, we're not. Do people really say that? 105 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,964 I'd give anything to have just one photo of me and my babies 106 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,566 looking that happy on the front page of the paper. 107 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,768 Well, Barry did make the paper for that time 108 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,403 he got in the fight with the service horse. 109 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,439 He really thought it was his apple. 110 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,740 Horses are tricky. Yeah. 111 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,908 ADULT ADAM: Little did my mom know 112 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,744 her photo op was right around the corner. 113 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,979 BEVERLY: Oh, my God. 114 00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:10,649 Are you two crafting together? 115 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:11,416 By choice? 116 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,352 No, no, no, calm down. We're not crafting. 117 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,121 We're just making art with construction paper, 118 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,890 markers, and glitter for public display. 119 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,058 That's crafting. 120 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:20,993 Fine, we're crafting. 121 00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:23,528 We need to spread the word about Hands Across America. 122 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,797 Yeah, I don't know about that whole thing. 123 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:26,665 Hands have germs. 124 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,134 Think of all those colds passing across the country 125 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,669 like a big bacteria highway. Ugh. 126 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,373 Whatever. I'm doing it because it'll help people in real need. 127 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,476 And I'm doing it for the celebrity contact. 128 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,778 Hoping to hold hands with Heather Locklear. 129 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:40,846 No. Alyssa Milano. 130 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:43,181 No. KITT, the car from Knight Rider. 131 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,183 You can't hold hands with a car, idiot. 132 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,319 I'll hold the antenna. Wait a minute. 133 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,387 Celebrities are doing this? 134 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,890 Yeah, downtown Philly actually nabbed Scott Baio. 135 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,159 From Happy Days and Chachi In Charge? 136 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:54,893 Don't forget Zapped! 137 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:58,363 Where he uses his magic powers to lift girls' dresses. 138 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:58,997 Turn that off. 139 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,066 Point is this thing's gonna be a huge deal. 140 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,669 It's literally going to be on the front page of all the papers. 141 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,271 You mean like newspapers? 142 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:10,075 Like the kind that take pictures of moms and their kids? 143 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,643 What? 144 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:14,946 What happened? 145 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,449 I want to help with Hands Across America. 146 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,817 Okay. And by help, I mean 147 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,086 push you aside and take over entirely. 148 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,020 I said okay. Really? 149 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:25,557 I'm in way over my head. They want me to organize, make posters. 150 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,025 They gave me a pen and a ledger. 151 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,360 I don't know what to do with them. 152 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,761 To record the donations. 153 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:30,429 Oh, no, I... 154 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,764 I've been putting everybody's cash in a bag. 155 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,832 Well, there must be thousands there. 156 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,202 I don't know. I'm a gym teacher, I'm not a count teacher. 157 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:37,936 You mean a math teacher? 158 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,805 I don't know. I'm not an English teacher, either. 159 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:40,939 Did you at least get us a celebrity? 160 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:44,409 No, th... We can't compete with Philly. 161 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,345 Philly is the Paris of Pennsylvania. 162 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,147 They got Baio. We got jack squat. 163 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:49,848 You should go rest. 164 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,450 ADULT ADAM: As my mom was saving Coach Mellor, 165 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:55,087 I was racing for the one man who always rescued me. 166 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:55,687 Dad. Yes. 167 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,155 I need help. Where's Pops? 168 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,024 There he is. Thank God. 169 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,293 Pops, I have two dates to the dance. 170 00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,494 Way to go, kiddo! 171 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:03,862 No, it's a bad thing. 172 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,529 Oh, yeah, it is. 173 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,733 No, I agreed to go with Emmy Mirsky to cheer her up 174 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:08,467 but Dana flew in. 175 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,236 Then just tell Emmy you're going with Dana. 176 00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:12,471 She'll understand. No, she won't. 177 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:16,408 A guy dissed her, and I saw her cry for the first time ever. 178 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,076 Then just tell Dana you can't go with her. 179 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,446 She'll freak out if I go with another girl, 180 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,047 even if it is Emmy. 181 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,316 Then take them both. They never even have to know. 182 00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:26,084 Like Peter did on The Brady Bunch? 183 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:30,622 I Brady-bunched two ladies at a USO dance back in '41. 184 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,824 Never felt so alive. 185 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:33,725 Stop. 186 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,627 Nobody's Brady-bunching anyone. 187 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,829 You want some real advice? 188 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:38,830 Don't be a moron. 189 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,600 Seriously? That's your advice for everything. 190 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,968 It applies to everything. 191 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,470 I think I'm gonna stick with Pops' advice. 192 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,174 All right, time for a TV master class 193 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,109 on how to juggle two dates at once. 194 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,011 First up, the gold standard... 195 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,180 The Brady Bunch, and I'm Peter. 196 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,282 Because your weird voice cracks just like his? 197 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,384 ADULT ADAM: Despite that shot at my self-esteem, 198 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,853 I knew with the help of my trusty TV shows, 199 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,055 I could pull off two dates at once. 200 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,758 Oh, no! Peter Brady, you blew it. 201 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,059 ADULT ADAM: Or so I thought. 202 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,795 No! Alex P. Keaton. 203 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,164 ADULT ADAM: Each one was worse than the next. 204 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,098 Jack's screwed! 205 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,399 Both women are at the Regal Beagle. 206 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,669 ADULT ADAM: As we watched the same plot done on every show, 207 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,070 it became abundantly clear. 208 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,640 Dude, it can't be done. 209 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,909 Shut up, Dave Kim! 210 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:24,576 I see that. 211 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:27,345 ADULT ADAM: As my universe as crumbling, my mom saw a world 212 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:31,783 where she finally got a photo in the paper with her kids. 213 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,918 Yo, yo, yo, volunteers. 214 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,620 Who's ready to get this homeless party started? 215 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,955 Mom, what are you doing here? 216 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,391 You're looking at the new regional captain 217 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:40,525 for Hands Across America. 218 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:41,760 What happened to Coach Mellor? 219 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,763 He cracked under the pressure, but don't worry. Mama's here. 220 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,498 I know how important this is for you. 221 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,501 Yeah, I'm out. Me too. Shut it down, people. 222 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,635 (ALL GROAN) 223 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,937 Whoa, hold up. 224 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,138 Now that I'm involved, you're just gonna bail? 225 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:56,508 Nothing personal. You just make fun things suck. 226 00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,075 Well, that... 227 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,378 That is a shame because this lady right here 228 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,881 just got Scott Baio 229 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,984 to ditch Philly and come to J-town. 230 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,153 Dude, we got Fonzie's cousin. 231 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,287 (ALL CHEERING) 232 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,555 No, everyone stop. 233 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,923 Mom, did you really get Scott Baio? 234 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,527 I literally just got off the phone with Scotty B. 235 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,195 He told me to call him Scotty B. 236 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:21,733 And he agreed to come here and hold hands with me. 237 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,502 I call the one available hand. 238 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,402 No way! The hand is mine! 239 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,805 Okay, this is my future husband. Why do you care? 240 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,940 'Cause he's my future best bro. 241 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:29,875 And once Scott meets me, 242 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,110 he'll ditch Willie Aames and fly me to Hollywood 243 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,512 so I never have to talk to you people again. 244 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,948 This is bullcrap. Just 'cause your crazy-hot mom is in charge, 245 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:37,983 you guys both get dibs? 246 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,151 Please, Mrs. Goldberg, pick me. 247 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,120 I really need a win. So bad. 248 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,255 No, I want... Mom, you have seen... 249 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:44,689 Scott's hand in my hand. ...his poster in my room. 250 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,658 I bet my hands are cooler than yours if we held them together. 251 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,659 Mrs. Goldberg... (ALL CLAMORING) 252 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,961 Stop fighting. Stop fighting. I'll sleep on it, okay? 253 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,796 I'll sleep on it, all right? 254 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,532 But now I have to immediately leave... 255 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,401 Not to call Scott Baio 'cause I've done it. 256 00:08:56,403 --> 00:09:00,939 All right, I just... I have to go and do a thing. 257 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,508 ADULT ADAM: The dance was only a day away, 258 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,510 and I realized my plan was a dead end. 259 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:09,147 Pops, I watched all the shows. Two dates never works. 260 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:09,848 Not even on Cheers? 261 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,952 Cliff had a date with Carla and Diane to the postman's ball. 262 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:14,819 It was a total junk show. 263 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,923 See, I'm not a fan of today's comedy. 264 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,224 Now, The Honeymooners... 265 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,759 I don't need a trip down memory lane. 266 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,361 I need help, and you said you pulled off 267 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,430 the perfect Brady Bunch. How? 268 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,799 Actually, the women kind of invited me. 269 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,301 We've got some advice for you. 270 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,669 Yeah, yeah, don't be a moron. 271 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,071 If you know the advice, why aren't you following it? 272 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,774 Don't worry, kiddo. Pops always has a plan. 273 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,910 With my help, you'll be the first kid in history 274 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,579 to juggle two dates at a dance. 275 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,148 Well, I did juggle three grapes at camp. 276 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,283 You know who's not a moron? 277 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,918 You're not a moron. 278 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,186 You're not a moron. 279 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,888 You're not a moron. 280 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,589 No. (BABBLES) 281 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,857 ADULT ADAM: As Pops was convincing me I could pull this off, 282 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,660 Erica and Barry were ready to convince our mom 283 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,330 that they were worthy of Baio's hand. 284 00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,130 Erica, what's going on? 285 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:02,100 Bad dream, mama. Can we do spoonies? 286 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,268 Oh, my god, spoonies? 287 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,305 Get on in the warm spot, girl. (CHUCKLES) 288 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:09,174 Ah. 289 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,308 This is so nice. Hmm. 290 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:14,913 Speaking of, um, any thoughts about Scott Baio? 291 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,781 Uh, yeah, about that... 292 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,016 Knock, knock. 293 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:18,750 Who wants brekky in bed? 294 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,952 (GASPS) You made mama breakfast? 295 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,854 Nobody cares because I'm spending 296 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,322 the whole day with my favorite lady. 297 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,524 You are? Well, mom and I are spending 298 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,293 the entire weekend together. We are? 299 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,995 Stop doing what you're doing. You stop. 300 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,164 You're only giving spoons so she'll pick you to hold Baio's hand. 301 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,468 Oh, and you're not? What's with the stupid sweater? 302 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,636 My favorite sweater? 303 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,738 Mommy made it for my 12th birthday. 304 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:40,839 I feel so handsome, Mommy. 305 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,675 You look so handsome, schmoofers. 306 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:44,442 She's the sun. 307 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,311 I'm the moon. You're the moon! 308 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:49,114 Okay, you want to go to war? Let's go. 309 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:52,917 Mommy, I want you to pick out a guy for me to date and marry. 310 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,886 That is my dream. No, no, no! Not so fast. 311 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,989 I've been thinking about it, and I'm gonna let you dance with me 312 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,659 before I dance with my bride at my wedding. 313 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,662 That is also my dream, but I also get to wear white. 314 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,630 That's non-negotiable. Yes! 315 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:06,398 I'm gonna have five kids, 316 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,967 and I want you to babysit every night and tell me what to do. 317 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,168 You will live with me forever. 318 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,904 I will build a mother suite off the master bedroom 319 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,073 even if it severely damages my marriage. 320 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,775 (GASPS) I'm out. 321 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,343 It's too rich for my blood. 322 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,577 Yes! I win! 323 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,514 Oh, no, what have I done? 324 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,248 Future Barry's problem. 325 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,052 ADULT ADAM: Despite herself, my mom loved her kids fighting over her. 326 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:27,752 Just one problem... 327 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:32,891 She was now pulling a classic bail and switch and needed a way out. 328 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,294 We need to talk. 329 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:36,928 Whoa, not so fast. 330 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,064 That was a non-sanctioned sit-down. On your feet. 331 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:42,500 Please, I need your help. This whole thing has gotten away from me. 332 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,537 No, no, coach has washed his hands of hands across America. 333 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,773 Look, all I wanted was one photo op with my kids. 334 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,276 Now, they're fighting over my love to get to Baio. 335 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,779 That feather-haired man-boy is making all my dreams come true. 336 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,481 That's why we need to get him here instead of Philly. 337 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,451 Give up on your Baio dreams. It ain't happening. 338 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:02,921 It has to happen. I told the whole school he's coming here. 339 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:03,988 What? Why would you do that? 340 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,524 I thought I could work my Yenta magic, 341 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,992 but I've been calling for three days. 342 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,494 Baio's people are icing me out. 343 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,729 Well, how the hell can I help? 344 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,765 Come on, you must have at least one celebrity lead. 345 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,632 No, I'm a gym teacher. 346 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,868 I rotate two pairs of shorts. 347 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,802 Then I guess it's over. 348 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:22,107 Unless you got out and you get yourself a celebrity that's better than Baio. 349 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,975 Better than Baio? Is that possible? 350 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:27,145 It is with one of my patented game-day pep talks. 351 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:27,879 Now, listen up. 352 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,547 It's the fourth quarter. You're down by 1 point. 353 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,751 Who's gonna run the option and take it to the big house? 354 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,619 Run the what? (SIGHS) 355 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,321 All right. It's 11:00 p.m. 356 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,089 You just got off a flight with your family. 357 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,724 They're crabby. They're hungry. 358 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,159 You look in the cupboard. 359 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,794 Oh, all you got is one can of tuna. 360 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:46,297 But it doesn't matter 'cause there's only one person 361 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,066 that can feed those babies tuna 362 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,969 and make sure they go to sleep with full tum-tums. 363 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,904 Me! You're damn right it's you. 364 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,240 Now go out and get yourself the biggest celebrity 365 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,109 this god-forsaken town's ever seen. 366 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,978 (MUSIC PLAYING) Oh. 367 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,147 Sorry. My bad, little ones. You guys okay? 368 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,817 All right, let's take a breather. Who wants water? 369 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,585 ADULT ADAM: That night, I was also on a mission. 370 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,622 Make a foolproof plan to bring two dates to the same dance. 371 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:15,093 All right, boys, let's run this again. What are we looking at? 372 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,294 The gym is 94x50 feet. 373 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,297 That leave us with two large zones to keep the girls apart. 374 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,799 Check. Let's talk song list. 375 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:25,670 We're looking at 16 songs lasting 2 hours and 6 minutes including The Time Warp. 376 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,906 Okay, let's do a dry run. Adam. 377 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,041 The Terrordrome is our battlefield. 378 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,776 I'm Michelangelo. 379 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:34,145 Dana is Princess Leia. 380 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,114 Emmy's the Hulk. 381 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,215 Copy! Song 1? 382 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,883 Like A Prayer, Madonna. 383 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:39,584 Dana and I dance. 384 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,686 Then I say I got to hit the bathroom and run to Emmy. 385 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,656 Song 2? Careless Whisper, Wham! 386 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,324 I tell Emmy I'll grab her punch 387 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,426 then run back to Dana for a slow dance. 388 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,262 I interrupt and pretend I lost my contact lens. 389 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:54,465 I leave to help Dave Kim, then book it back to Emmy. 390 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,602 See that? Working as a team together. 391 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,605 Trust me... This whole thing is wired. 392 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,507 (DOORBELL RINGS) 393 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,310 What the hell? 'Sup, jerk? 394 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:05,743 Balls. 395 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,579 You didn't know she was staying with me? 396 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:08,213 Balls' balls. 397 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,048 Hello, my name is Dave Kim. I lost my contact lens. 398 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,151 Dana, can you help me find it for 8 to 10 minutes out of earshot? 399 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,187 Not now, Dave Kim. It's gone to hell. 400 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,922 We didn't even make it out of the house. 401 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,825 I know. I know! Two dates can't be done! 402 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,128 Dude, he's created a whole nerd world to plot against us. 403 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,797 This is super-creepy, Adam. 404 00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,699 My God, did you make me the Hulk? 405 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,435 Yes, but only 'cause I don't like you when you're angry. 406 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:33,071 This is so scheming and disrespectful. 407 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,340 No, please, don't start doubting my character. 408 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,343 Group hug? Ugh, just leave us alone, liar. 409 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,311 (SIGHS) 410 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,916 Okay. New advice... Lay low. 411 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,484 Now, that, I can pull off. 412 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,886 ADULT ADAM: But that was impossible 'cause the next day, 413 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,823 literally everyone in the country gathered for Hands Across America. 414 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,325 Adam, over here! It's your Mama. 415 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,293 So instead, I hid. 416 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,695 Don't ignore me. I'm regional captain. 417 00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,365 I deserve respect. No, no, no. 418 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,333 Shh! I'm hiding in the shadows, okay? 419 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,768 What are you talking about? 420 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,470 Today is the day that me and my kids 421 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,906 finally get on the front page of the newspaper. 422 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,607 All of us... No exceptions. 423 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,509 Yes, I'll hide with you people. 424 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,278 Block my head with your enormous hair. 425 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,712 I'm so nervous for Baio. 426 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,281 My hands are super-sweaty but soft. 427 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,483 I've been moisturizing all day. So where is he? 428 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,618 Yeah, where's the Scottster anyway? Oh, my God, no! 429 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:24,022 You can't lure Scott with your off-the-shoulder crop top and short skirt. 430 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:28,760 You really think I would use my young feminine form to get Scott Baio's attention? 431 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,228 I do look good, though, right? 432 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,597 Uh, actually, I have some good news, bad news. 433 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,800 Uh, the bad news is baio's not coming. 434 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,669 What? You monster! 435 00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:38,536 No, stop it. 436 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,905 I actually got a bigger celebrity. 437 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,740 Michael Jackson? Rob Lowe? 438 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,374 Jermaine Jackson. 439 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,844 Better. I have the most famous person in Philadelphia history. 440 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:51,749 Please give a warm Hands Across America welcome to Ben Franklin. 441 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,685 Good morrow, fellow colonists. 442 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,087 I am founding father, Benjamin Franklin. 443 00:15:56,089 --> 00:16:00,258 Allow me to gaze upon you through my bifocals, 444 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,859 which I invented in 1784. 445 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:02,994 Why is this thing still talking? 446 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:06,197 Ooh, the paper's here. Okay, everybody, hold hands and sing. 447 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,767 Bev, I don't think the rest of the country is ready just yet. 448 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,369 You never even had Scott Baio, did you? 449 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,304 No time to talk. All right, Adam... 450 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,405 Stop hiding in my hair. 451 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,408 Ooh! Emmy, Dana, come and hold hands and take a picture. 452 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,577 We'd rather not. They'd really rather not. 453 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,079 Okay, well, it's not a choice. 454 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,147 Every hand not held is another homeless family. 455 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,216 I don't think... Okay, just do it, just do it, just do it. 456 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,618 Photographers! Smile, smile. Teeth, teeth. 457 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,656 I'd like to, but they're crushing my bones with their strong lady hands. 458 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,359 Mine, too. I'm just a pawn! 459 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,061 (BOTH GROANING) 460 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,196 This is a nightmare! 461 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,299 How are they stronger than us? 462 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,501 ADULT ADAM: The moment had come. 463 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:47,005 It was finally time to hold Hands Across America. 464 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,806 Boys, quick! Grab mommy's hands! 465 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,141 Holy crap, it's happening. 466 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,843 Okay. Come on, you guys. 467 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,544 You've got to hold my hand. 468 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,879 Hold my hand, damn it! 469 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,547 No way. You lied to us. 470 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,182 Beverly, what are you doing? 471 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,051 Come on, it's time. Hold hands. 472 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,085 Kids, do it. 473 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,854 Never. Hold my hands. 474 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,088 We will hold no hands. 475 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,057 What is wrong with you people?! 476 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,225 Please! No way. 477 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:08,693 This is for the homeless! 478 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,660 Hold my hands. 479 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:10,762 No way. Hold hands! 480 00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:12,997 Please, just hold my hands. 481 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,898 Never. No way. 482 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,833 Hold hands! I shall hold your hand. 483 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,102 Oh, (BLEEP) off, Ben Franklin. 484 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,904 Mom, no! Back off, Mom. 485 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,639 I'm not holding your hand. (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 486 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,075 No, no, don't put that in the paper. 487 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:27,311 It's gonna look like the Goldbergs broke hands across America. 488 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,080 Goldbergs... Got it. 489 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,181 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 490 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:30,915 Oh, that's a keeper. 491 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,485 ADULT ADAM: And so, Hands Across America was single-handedly a bust. 492 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:38,956 All I wanted was one nice photo for the wall. 493 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,559 That's all I ever wanted. 494 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,962 No. No, you're the one who lied. 495 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,198 You can't make us feel bad about this. 496 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,803 ADULT ADAM: As my mom's spirit was crushed, so were my hands. 497 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,504 Hey. How you holding up? 498 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,274 Well, I've got no girlfriend, no best friend, 499 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,944 and no feeling in both hands, so not good. 500 00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:00,645 You know what I think? 501 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,247 Yes, I'm a moron. I get it. 502 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,783 No, I don't think you do. 503 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,387 When I say, "don't be a moron," 504 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,421 it really means something. 505 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,890 You mean beyond just being rude and insulting? 506 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,258 Yeah, that's just part of it. 507 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:17,228 But it's my way of saying 508 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,830 "be honest, be a good person." 509 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:23,701 It's how I live my life, and you know what? It works. 510 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:27,805 So, how do I make it up to Emmy and Dana? 511 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,308 That's easy. 512 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,110 Don't be a moron. 513 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,912 ADULT ADAM: After years of getting advice on girls from Pops, 514 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:38,783 I learned my dad had some wisdom to offer after all. 515 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:39,851 What the hell are you doing, weirdo? 516 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:44,255 I'm cordially and blatantly inviting you both to the dance. 517 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,256 You can't be serious. 518 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,459 Look, I screwed up, but you have to believe me 519 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,262 all I wanted was to make both of you feel special. 520 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,932 Emmy, you've been my best friend since second grade. 521 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,502 I just couldn't bear to see you so sad. 522 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,770 And, Dana, the last thing I'd ever want to do is 523 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,974 to hurt the girl I love more than anything in this world. 524 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,711 Aww. Point is I'm a moron. 525 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:08,980 We'll got get dressed. 526 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:12,150 ADULT ADAM: As it turns out, the best plan of all was honesty. 527 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,486 And because of that, I was able to do what Alex P. Keaton, 528 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:19,123 Jack Tripper, and Peter Brady never could... 529 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:22,727 ...take two girls to the same dance. 530 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:23,728 And not just any girls... 531 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,597 ...the most important ones in my life. 532 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:30,668 And it was a night I always remember. 533 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,742 Crying at Zapped! That's a first. 534 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,411 No, I just... (SIGHS) 535 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,113 I feel bad. 536 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,080 I'm a bad mama. 537 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,716 I don't think any of us were at our best. 538 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,153 Which actually worked in our favor. 539 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,891 This... is not what I meant at all. 540 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,060 I know we're not actually holding hands, 541 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,931 but if this picture isn't us, (SCOFFS) I don't know what is. 542 00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:01,866 You're right. 543 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:03,935 I love it. 544 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,837 ADULT ADAM: That's the thing about the people you love. 545 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:07,872 It's not always picture-perfect. 546 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,909 Sometimes you have to live in the moment and take it all in. 547 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,612 But side-by-side, hand-in-hand... 548 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,380 ...you'll find it's pretty great. 549 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,884 And sure, you may make a lot of mistakes along the way. 550 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,219 Growing up is a tricky dance, 551 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,155 but occasionally, you find your groove. 552 00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:26,524 Last dance of the night. Have fun, dorks. 553 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,927 Actually, I don't think you should take off just yet. 554 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,896 I talked to Adam Abel. 555 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,598 (CHUCKLES) I'm gonna kill you. 556 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,701 He saved you a dance. I love you. 557 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,269 (GROANS) 558 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,040 ¶ Ooh, heaven is a place On Earth 559 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,877 ¶ They say in heaven, Love comes first 560 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:51,616 ¶ We'll make heaven A place on earth ¶ 561 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,086 ¶ 562 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,289 (DINGING) 563 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,693 Ugh. I don't understand how we all got the flu. 564 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,429 I told you... With all that hand holding, you'd catch a bug. 565 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,832 Will you stop saying that. It's not even how it works. 566 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,300 (KNOCK ON DOOR) Ooh, sounds like 567 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,235 we may have a special visitor. 568 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,838 Wait, did Scott Baio's people finally get back to you? 569 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,308 No, but, uh, I still have 570 00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,977 Ben Franklin rented for an hour. 571 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,113 Good morrow, sick children. 572 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,283 As I so famously said in 1780-something, 573 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,852 An apple a day keeps the doctor... 574 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,053 No! Not again. 575 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,821 I hate this president.