1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,037 ADULT ADAM: The '80s was a golden age of advertising, 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,772 filled with famous faces. Oh, hi, Vern. 3 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,208 They talked fast and pitched to us every day. 4 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:09,110 Hello. I'm Orville Redenbacher. 5 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,578 Mikey liked it! 6 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,213 He liked it! And the "Where's the Beef?" lady 7 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,315 needed to know exactly where the beef was. 8 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,716 Hey, where's the beef? 9 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,851 And there were local pitchmen, like Crazy Eddie. 10 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,020 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest Fourth of July sale ever! 11 00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,390 ADULT ADAM: Even Jenkintown had its own commercial celebrity... 12 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,458 My dad's competition, the Formica King. 13 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,294 Are you looking for a bed, 14 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,162 a table, a wall unit? 15 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,497 ADULT ADAM: He was wild, kooky, 16 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,165 and the bane of my dad's existence. 17 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:34,668 Come see me, Formica Mike, the Formica King! 18 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,737 We got deep discounts on all your favorite 19 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,740 brightly-colored furniture in space-age laminates! 20 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:42,476 And we're slaying the competition! 21 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,080 (ON TV) * Furniture deals on everything 22 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,949 * Come on down to the Formica King * 23 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,785 Ask for me! Mike! Or Luis. 24 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:52,953 He works here, too! 25 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,322 ANNOUNCER: The Formica King's 26 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,523 an authorized Formica laminate dealer. 27 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,358 * Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, do... * 28 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,493 Are you humming the jingle of my sworn enemy? 29 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,962 No. Totally unrelated. 30 00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:03,431 * Formica King 31 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,766 All right, that's it. I'm sleeping on the couch. 32 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,901 ADULT ADAM: My dad hated the Formica King 33 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,337 and couldn't get away from him. 34 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,972 Look! The Formica King has a regal summer sale! 35 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,808 "Big kingdom furniture for lil' kingdom prices." 36 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,044 (GROANS) Murray, you gotta hit this schmuck back 37 00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,879 before he drives us out of business. 38 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,581 Dammit, I know! 39 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,316 ADULT ADAM: My dad had to make his own commercial, 40 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,784 and there was only one geek who could save him. 41 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,820 I never thought I'd say this, but bring me Adam. 42 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,323 I've been waiting for this moment my entire life. 43 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,292 I know your taste. It'll be quick and simple. 44 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,426 Also, you'll be sitting. 45 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,195 Oh, I like this idea. 46 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,664 Or... And I'm just talking out loud here... 47 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:40,434 What if instead of simple, we made it incredibly complicated? 48 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,136 Ooh, I'm listening. No, no. 49 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,104 Do not encourage him. 50 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,274 ADULT ADAM: Yep, my dad's brother and unreliable employee Marvin. 51 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,608 Let the selling begin! 52 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,042 ADULT ADAM: He was full of bad ideas, 53 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,212 and my dad hated all of them. 54 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,813 We have an opportunity here to make the biggest, 55 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,149 most expensive furniture commercial ever, okay? 56 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,552 I'm talking about explosions, car chases, furniture girls. 57 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,688 There's no such thing as furniture girls. 58 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,923 Uncle Marvin's right. We should probably go big. 59 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,258 So big! And loud! 60 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,626 And sexy! Go away! 61 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,395 Ooh! We can set it in space! 62 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,197 * Space No space! 63 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,931 And animals. We need animals. 64 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,065 The deadlier the better. 65 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,301 Yes, people respond to fear. 66 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,868 Not furniture buyers. 67 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,437 And we need epic stunts. 68 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,239 How many sleeper sofas can you jump in a monster truck? 69 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,408 Well, if we load it up with rocket fuel, an infinite amount! 70 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,443 When you're done, we'll do it my way. 71 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,811 Knock yourselves out. 72 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,479 (GASPS) That's it. 73 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:26,680 We wrap the whole thing up 74 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,449 with a Rocky Balboa/ Apollo Creed 75 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,251 final freeze frame. Let's rehearse it. 76 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:33,421 (IMITATING SYLVESTER STALLONE) Well, I don't usually rehearse, but okay. 77 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,223 * I'm twisted up inside 78 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,326 * But nonetheless, I feel the need to say 79 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,996 * I don't know the future 80 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:46,534 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 81 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,669 ADULT ADAM: It was November 1, 1980-something, 82 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,938 and my brother was about to bust some moves. 83 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,573 Yo, yo! Look at this. 84 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,175 The KFC has come to hang out under the bleachers. 85 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,278 No, it's the JTP. ALL: JTP! 86 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,480 And it's your lucky day, 'cause Big Tasty 87 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,948 cordially invites you to have dinner with him 88 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,317 at Jenkintown's most exclusive, romantic eatery. 89 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,519 ALL: Tony Roma's! Place for ribs! 90 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,854 All right, bleacher creatures. 91 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,089 Stop being all sketchy and get to class. 92 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,624 Nice try, dude. 93 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,925 Mr. Glascott, 94 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,127 I was about to go out with Jamie Weisman for ribs. 95 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,430 Everyone knows that's the most romantic part of the pig. 96 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,831 Except for the heart. 97 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,066 Actually, I saved you. 98 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,369 Seriously, man, you were going down in flames. 99 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,770 Trust me, I know. 100 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,804 You do know. 101 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,906 Hey, it's different when I say it. 102 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:29,443 Gah! That's the third girl this week who shot me down. 103 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,778 Don't these smoking hot scrubs 104 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,746 know I dated Lainey for three years? 105 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,014 Don't ask me, dude. 106 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,383 I haven't talked to a girl since my piano teacher 107 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,050 told me to stop calling her. 108 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,552 It's like the only people who see me naked now are you guys. 109 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,388 I used to have great luck with women, 110 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,122 but it all dried up when I started hanging out with you dudes. 111 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,524 Coincidence, Matthew. 112 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,892 Man, I do not miss being single. 113 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,794 I'm just so happy I have Erica, ya know? 114 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,729 You're so lame, Geoff. We don't have to hear it. 115 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:49,897 Wait, that's it! 116 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,266 It's been in this house the whole time! 117 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,302 Erica's bedroom. 118 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,437 There has to be some answers in here. 119 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,705 Okay, guys, this is, like, 120 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,139 a huge invasion of Erica's privacy. 121 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,541 Dude, she's my sister. 122 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,942 I know her better than anyone. 123 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,911 She'd do anything to help us out here. 124 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,079 Erica's very upset and wants to talk to you. Really, dude? 125 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,416 I know you're her brother, but she's really pretty. 126 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,285 (SIGHS) Barry. I will say this once. 127 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,721 Leave my room, or I will end you. 128 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,623 Aw! You are so sweet. 129 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,592 Guys! She said, "Go for it." We're good to go. 130 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,394 Put Geoff back on the phone right now! 131 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,229 Yo, Geoff, she says she loves you, 132 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,497 and you're, like, totally the one. 133 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,198 I've been waiting for this moment! 134 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,700 If you don't get out right now, 135 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,169 so help me God, I will get on a bus and... 136 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,571 No, you're the best. 137 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:31,772 Geoffrey, tackle Barry! 138 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,774 Love you. Punch him in the nards! 139 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,677 We officially have Erica's blessing. Let's do this! 140 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,679 Naked Rob, you and I shall play the board game 141 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,781 where you literally become a woman... 142 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:41,782 "Girl Talk." 143 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,717 Matthew, you take this Caboodle 144 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,319 and make friendship bracelets for all. 145 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,355 One of you lucky bros is gonna get an anklet. 146 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,323 Andy, you read these Judy Blume books. 147 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,024 Soak up all the teenage lady writing 148 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,060 and see if God ever responds to Margaret. 149 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,362 I hope it's a yes. 150 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,530 Geoff Schwartz, you take Erica's diary 151 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,599 and read her inner-most secret girl thoughts. 152 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,300 She's never let me read it before! 153 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,535 She finally trusts me! 154 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:05,205 Gentlemen, our world changes today. 155 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,807 Let's get feminine. 156 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,880 Okay, our big commercial's all done. 157 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,216 Yep. There's no story, there's no effects, 158 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,185 there's no artistic expression whatsoever. 159 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,888 I've never been more proud of the kid in my life! 160 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:24,057 Are you looking for high-quality furniture 161 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,426 at low prices? 162 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,461 Come on down to the Ottoman Empire... 163 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:31,064 Huh! Where I will personally fight high prices. 164 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,966 I am the Sofa Samurai, 165 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:36,470 and I will erase the bloodlines of the competition! 166 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,305 (GRUNTS) What the hell was that? 167 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,442 Don't ask me! Marvin taped over my commercial! 168 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:42,910 ADULT ADAM: And that's when things got weird. 169 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,312 My Uncle Marvin hijacked the commercial. 170 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,247 He was a space man... (LASER BLASTS) 171 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,348 Who was a lifeguard... 172 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,117 No credit? No problem! 173 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,351 I'll save you! 174 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:52,753 ADULT ADAM: ...who had a cyborg arm. 175 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:53,987 And I've been rebuilt by the government 176 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,523 to fight crime and high prices. 177 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:56,757 ADULT ADAM: It was a disaster. 178 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,159 So, come on down to the Ottoman Empire. 179 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,728 And bring the kids. 180 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,163 They can swing my sword around and chop up stuff. 181 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,665 Ding! Freeze, freeze. 182 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,368 ADULT ADAM: It was classic Marvin, 183 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,570 and my dad had seen enough. 184 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:10,904 How do you do it, Marvin? 185 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,173 How do you literally screw up everything? 186 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,475 What? 187 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,076 If anything, I spiced it up with swords 188 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,078 and time travel and furniture girls. 189 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,547 What's their story? 190 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,048 Tiffany and Megan. They're actually good people. 191 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,850 I hope you don't mind. I had to pay them in chairs. 192 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,185 I do mind! You can't just give away our furniture 193 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,387 and promise that kids can play with swords! 194 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,656 This is insane! 195 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,691 I'm not airing this stupidity. Ever. 196 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:31,925 Ooh. 197 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,827 "Ooh"? What do you... What do you mean, "Ooh"? 198 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,563 What if I told you there was a world 199 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,165 where people will see it or have absolutely seen it? 200 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,667 Which is it? Both. 201 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,401 I knew that you wouldn't understand my vision, Mur, 202 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,803 so I had to go behind your back, 203 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,438 and I handed it off to the local affiliates. 204 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,939 Wait. This already aired? 205 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,842 Okay, calm down. The man means well. 206 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,478 You realize that's the worst thing 207 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,712 you can say about a person. 208 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,981 How is it bad if a man means well? 209 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,216 Because it means he doesn't do well. 210 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,185 He's too busy being a moron. 211 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,787 That's it! 212 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,722 I refuse to work for someone who thinks so little of me! 213 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,356 Great. Then don't come in tomorrow. 214 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,892 Are you firing me? No, you just quit. 215 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,760 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm just refusing to work. 216 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,762 That is quitting. Which I didn't do! 217 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,130 Then fine. You're fired. 218 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,465 No, no, you can't fire me. I already quit. 219 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,700 Too late. I fired you first. 220 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,067 Okay, so rehire me so I can quit. 221 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,536 You're rehired. Go ahead and quit. 222 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,837 I'm staying. Then you're fired. 223 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,338 You would fire your own brother? 224 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,406 I quit! 225 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,475 He means well. (GROANS) 226 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,043 ADULT ADAM: As my uncle was quitting, 227 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,178 Barry and his pals were ready to give up on girls. 228 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,914 Dude, "Girl Talk" sucks. 229 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,882 The only thing I've gotten from this game is a bunch of zit stickers. 230 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,418 And I admitted I had a crush on the hunky quarterback, 231 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,753 and he's so not my type. 232 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,688 You need a guy who makes you laugh, man. 233 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,990 Andy? You have better luck with that Judy Blume book? 234 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,927 You have no idea what women go through each month. 235 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,061 I mean, it's crazy. 236 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,330 It still won't help us get dates, but... 237 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,598 It's crazy. 238 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,233 Maybe the ol' Bevernator can help you 239 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,400 with your lady troubles. 240 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,503 Mom! Stop invading our privacy 241 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,572 while we're invading Erica's privacy! 242 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,607 Maybe this is a chance for our relationship 243 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,676 to change for the better. It can't change. 244 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,645 Once you're a lame mom, you're always a lame mom. 245 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,079 Well, once you graduate from high school, 246 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,814 you're not gonna need a mom anymore. 247 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,216 You're gonna need a friend who knows things. 248 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,985 I want to be that friend. 249 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,119 Your lady bro. 250 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,055 Dude, a lady bro is exactly what we need. 251 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,790 No. Last thing we need is for you 252 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,992 to mom us up with corny mom advice. 253 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,861 That is quite possibly the most hurtful thing 254 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,095 you've ever said to me. 255 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,664 I am so much more than just a mom. 256 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:17,998 Now eat your prunes 257 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,533 so you can get your tummy engine cookin'. 258 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,601 No prunes! 259 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,369 They're just so...wet. 260 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,737 It's been four days, Barry. 261 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:24,872 You need to make. 262 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,139 Mom. (MURMURS) I'm fine. 263 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,875 You know, Essie Karp's nephew's son 264 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,242 held it in for that long, 265 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,811 and then he got on a ferry to Nantucket... 266 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,713 I don't wanna hear this stupid mom story. 267 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,382 They had to turn the boat around, Barry. 268 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,250 I don't care about Essie's nephew's son! 269 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,253 A Coast Guard chopper was involved. Mom. 270 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,923 People were jumping into the ocean. Mom! 271 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,958 They had to decommission the boat. 272 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,695 Mom! Because he didn't eat his prunes. 273 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,196 I think you've proven my point. 274 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,631 Well, suit yourself. 275 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,866 But just know that the most attractive trait in a man 276 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,135 is when he makes on schedule. 277 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,904 No, Naked Rob! Drop the prunes! 278 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,939 Oh, sorry, dude. I need these prunes, 279 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,041 and I need a lady bro to help me get a lady, bro. 280 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:04,111 My mother is not the answer, Naked Rob. 281 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,479 Okay, see, that's the problem right there. 282 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,181 This whole naked thing, Robert. 283 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,183 Girls don't like it when you run up to them 284 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,251 with no pants on. 285 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,620 Don't listen to her! 286 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,822 Your nudity is your most redeeming quality. 287 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,456 So you're saying if I get dressed in the morning 288 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,758 and stay that way all day, 289 00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,226 then women will be less revolted by me? 290 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,729 I'm not just saying it. I know it. 291 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,765 Fine! But I guarantee this will not work. 292 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,602 Dude. I can't believe it. 293 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,671 My mom actually helped the guy. 294 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,205 Um, could you tell your friends to go? 295 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,942 No, Debbie! I'm watching and learning. 296 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,744 Guys, please. This is a big moment for me. 297 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,212 Do you guys actually think my mom isn't just a mom? 298 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,280 Accept it, man. 299 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,150 She's the answer to all our problems. 300 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,685 ADULT ADAM: While Barry had to admit defeat, 301 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,454 Uncle Marvin was ready to take a victory lap. 302 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,622 What's going on? 303 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,223 Why are you here? I thought you quit. 304 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,626 (LAUGHS) Don't worry about me, Mur-Man. 305 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,794 I'm just here to let you know 306 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,262 that I landed a sweet new job. 307 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,031 Oh, did you, now? Oh, yes, I did. 308 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,433 And I finally have a real boss. 309 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,102 One that I can respect. 310 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,605 (PLAYS FANFARE) 311 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,907 Make way 312 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,509 * For Formica Michael Mikowitz * 313 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,444 Well, well, well. 314 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,113 What do we got here? 315 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,749 A whole lot of crappy furniture with no one to buy it. 316 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,317 So, you're working for this putz now? 317 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,787 That's right. I just snaked your top salesman. 318 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,388 Must be killin' ya. No, I'm good. 319 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,090 No, but he's your brother, and now he's working for me... 320 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,792 The enemy. Yeah, well, things happen. 321 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,660 Wow. That's, uh... 322 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,961 That's not the reaction I was expecting. 323 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,362 (CHUCKLES) Look at him. 324 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,964 It's eating him up inside. 325 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,000 I don't know. He doesn't seem so put out by the whole thing. 326 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,035 Nah, nah, nah, nah. You don't know him like I do. 327 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,636 He is dying to take me back. 328 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,105 Okay. I'll come back. 329 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,240 Bup bup! Nope, you see the sign. 330 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,143 Says "No refunds on damaged goods." 331 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,144 Hoo-hoo! 332 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:47,948 (LAUGHING) Oh, he's such a faker. 333 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,217 This is gonna be great! 334 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,819 I got concerns. 335 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,456 ADULT ADAM: It had been two days since 336 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,058 my Uncle Marvin's crazy commercial had aired, 337 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,559 and when my dad arrived to work, 338 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,129 he was surprised to find business was booming. 339 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,697 What's with all the people? 340 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,565 It's Marvin's farkakte commercial. 341 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,200 I think it actually worked! 342 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,170 No way. No one's here to see a sweaty samurai. 343 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,205 Hey, where's the Sofa Samurai? 344 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,341 My kid wants to take a whack at this recliner with that katana. 345 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,110 Unfortunately, the Samurai is sick. 346 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,512 What? I drove two hours to get here. 347 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,114 Uh, which is why 348 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,584 you're looking at the Mattress Magician! 349 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,554 What's that behind your ear, huh? 350 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,856 Don't touch my son. 351 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,992 Uh... Give us a second. 352 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,795 You gotta get your brother back. We need him. 353 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,529 You know, we're talking about Marvin. 354 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,098 I've never once needed him. 355 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,266 Until now. 356 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,502 His terrible ideas, turns out, are great. 357 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,004 (GROANS) 358 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,273 Fine. You don't want Marvin's help. 359 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,607 I'll work on my magic. 360 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,010 Say, what's that behind your... Aah! Stop it. 361 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,544 I'll go talk to him. 362 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,246 ADULT ADAM: That day, my dad wasn't the only one 363 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,548 who was asking for help from the least likely person. 364 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,884 Double coupon? 365 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,451 Don't mind if I do-pon. 366 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,387 ADULT ADAM: Yep, the unthinkable happened. 367 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,890 Barry went to my mom for some girl talk. 368 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:05,225 Hey, Boofaloo. (SIGHS) 369 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,694 As much as it shocks me to say it, 370 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,563 you're not just a big-haired, mom-shaped sweater lady. 371 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,065 Hurtful, but continue. 372 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,167 You helped Rob, which means you're not only a mom. 373 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,469 You could actually be a lady bro and help me get girls. 374 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,671 (GASPS) Shut your delicious little face! 375 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,040 You asked for my help! 376 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,541 Forget it! Forget it. This is a mistake. Wh... 377 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:24,912 No, Barry, look into my eyes. 378 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,780 I will take this more seriously 379 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,382 than anything I've ever done in my life. 380 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,219 I just wanted some advice on how to impress Jamie Weisman. 381 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,187 I've already tried both aggressive rapping 382 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,256 and casual flexing in a yellow tank top. 383 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,457 Uh-huh. 384 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,492 Have you considered something simpler? 385 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,294 You mean like eating an entire apple in one bite? 386 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,630 Or. What if you just talk to her? 387 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,966 Like with a bullhorn? For now, just be yourself. 388 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,734 That's all women really want. 389 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:48,869 Sincerity. 390 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,470 Be sincere. 391 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,640 So I speak with a British accent and wear a monocle? 392 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,875 We'll get you there. 393 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,443 ADULT ADAM: And she did. 394 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,211 After a little training from his lady bro, 395 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,981 Barry was ready to win over his lady. 396 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,650 Whoa, whoa. What am I looking at here? 397 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,118 Just a boy who took my advice 398 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,855 and is now chatting to his future girlfriend. 399 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,589 Are you nuts? What? What's wrong? 400 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,359 Jamie Weisman hangs with the no-good bleacher creatures. 401 00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,361 They spend every lunch under there smoking 402 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,429 and listening to that awful ska music. 403 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,565 And don't get me started on the truancy. 404 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,367 Truancy? 405 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,402 Well, that's a gateway to being late for everything in life! 406 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,972 And the worst part is, they're always sassing off at the mouth, 407 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,107 saying things like, "(BLEEP) this school" 408 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,708 and "(BLEEP) Mr. Glascott." 409 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,210 Kids can't speak that way. 410 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,845 This is un-(BLEEP)-believable. 411 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,346 Barry will not be a part of that group. 412 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,148 Now, there's the woman I know and fear. 413 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,117 Now get in there and break up that boy's good time! 414 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,685 Well, I just became his bro. 415 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,320 I can't go back to being his mom. 416 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,956 But you're the mommiest mom of all the mom I've ever met. 417 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,024 I don't know what to do! 418 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,259 What you always do. Ruin things. 419 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,028 Well, I'd love to, but I just can't get... 420 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,562 Oh, hey. What's up, bro? 421 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,931 Your advice totally worked! 422 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,465 Jamie's coming over after school to study! 423 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:56,036 Oh. She's already coming over to study, huh? 424 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,404 That worked better than I thought. 425 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,139 I'm sorry I said you're just a mom. 426 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,108 You made this happen. You. 427 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,144 (LAUGHS) And I feel big feelings about it. 428 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,778 I gotta go buy some Drakkar 429 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,414 so I smell awesome when we study. 430 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,481 (CHUCKLES) Bye. 431 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,917 Drakkar? 432 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,652 That is the musk of Europeans on holiday! 433 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:13,887 What have I done? 434 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,255 The worst thing any mom could do. 435 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,157 You became your son's bro. 436 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,026 ADULT ADAM: While my mom was realizing her mistake, 437 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,561 my dad was gonna try to win back the Formica King's jester. 438 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,464 (BELLS JINGLING) Hey, uh, Marvin. You got a sec? 439 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,033 Uh, not for you. 440 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,035 I'm in the middle of a top-secret project 441 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,202 for Formica Mike. 442 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,905 J... Just stop jingling and... 443 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,673 You can come back to my store. 444 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,776 I knew it! Sales have plunged since your top salesman left. 445 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,511 Sure. If that's what you want to hear. 446 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,213 Oh, I want a lot more than that. 447 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,982 I shall return to your employ 448 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,683 should you meet the following demands. 449 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,918 Demand number one. 450 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,954 I want stock options. All of them. 451 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,821 We're not a public company, moron. 452 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,023 There is no stock. 453 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,791 I want 100 paid vacation days. 454 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,093 That's three months! 455 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,561 I want my own parking spot... No. 456 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,562 Toilet... No. 457 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,997 Office... No. 458 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,165 And I'm going to change the name of the store 459 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,700 to Marvin and Brother Furniture Place. 460 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,769 All right, forget I asked. (STAMMERING LOUDLY) 461 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,104 Hold on. Fine. 462 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:07,774 All you have to say is that you need me. 463 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,209 (SCOFFS) I'm not gonna do that. 464 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,411 Just say it, and all your dreams will come true. 465 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,180 I'm not gonna say it. Just say the words! 466 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,383 I don't need you, and I never will! 467 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,951 (SCOFFS) 468 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,520 Fine. 469 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,522 We're finished here. (BREATHES DEEPLY) 470 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,690 Leave your basement! 471 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,060 Or... Fine. 472 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,395 I will leave. 473 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,331 (BELLS JINGLING) 474 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,066 ADULT ADAM: As my dad showed Marvin the door, 475 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,867 my mom was showing Jamie Weisman 476 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,103 Barry's baby book. 477 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,437 And now here's Barry with his head 478 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,239 stuck in the banister. Ooh. 479 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,641 And now there he is with his head stuck in the fence. 480 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,742 (WHISTLING) 481 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,444 What? 482 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,713 We took a two-minute study break so I could get snacks! 483 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,248 How did this happen so fast? 484 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,917 Relax. I'm just showing your new friend some photos. 485 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,185 Bro. A word? 486 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,321 Sure thing, bro. Feel free to peruse. 487 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,588 There's some great pictures 488 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,457 of little Barry making on the potty. 489 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,458 (BOTH LAUGH) 490 00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,959 Or close to the potty. You know. 491 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,428 Enjoy. 492 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,595 What did you do? 493 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,731 I just showed her a photo album. 494 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,898 Like a mom. 495 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,100 What happened to being my bro? 496 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,835 I am your bro. 497 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,138 But not when it comes to cool girls with bad intentions. 498 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,540 I was right! All you'll ever be is a mom. 499 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,176 Dammit, I want to be more! I do! 500 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,011 But I just can't stop myself. 501 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,379 Well, I can. 502 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,214 This is the last time I ask for your help. 503 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,149 Ever. 504 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,883 Everything cool? BARRY: Yeah. 505 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,152 I'm all studied out. 506 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,287 I'll see you tomorrow. 507 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,022 Just leave the door open when you go. 508 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,358 We need to air out the Drakkar stink. 509 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:33,060 ** 510 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,665 ADULT ADAM: After refusing to tell Marvin he needed him, 511 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,001 my dad got a surprise visit from a guy who did. 512 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,303 Oh, God. 513 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,437 I came to say "Bravo." 514 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,838 You pulled it off perfectly. 515 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,307 What... What... What are you talking about? 516 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,941 Sabotage. What? 517 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,710 Sabotage! What about it? 518 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,779 (WHISPERING) Sabotage. Stop saying "Sabotage"! 519 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,182 You let me steal your brother knowing full well 520 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,684 that he would destroy my store from the inside. 521 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,951 Ohh. What'd he do? 522 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,388 First, he mistook the display toilet 523 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,623 for "the real deal." Oh, geez. 524 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,193 Then he wants to rearrange the stock room. 525 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,960 He loses control of the forklift. 526 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,629 He pops three water beds. 527 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,898 Now I gotta shut down because he flooded my showroom. 528 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,201 Formica Mike, listen to me. 529 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,503 This isn't sabotage. That wasn't sabotage? 530 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,072 No. I'm not smart enough, and I know Marvin isn't. 531 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,674 Okay. Then, first, I'm gonna fire the putz. 532 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,077 Then I'm gonna make him pay for the water beds. 533 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,079 Don't do that. 534 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,880 I'll pay for it. (SIGHS) 535 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,282 Why would you do that? 536 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:32,485 (SIGHS) Because... He really does mean well. 537 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,487 You do know that that is the worst thing 538 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,988 that you could say about a person? 539 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,657 Oh, I'm aware. 540 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,392 Here ya go, Ad. 541 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,261 Sorry I stole your camera. 542 00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,930 I guess that's the end of my illustrious film career. 543 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,932 It had a lens cap and a case. 544 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,867 It sure did, pal. 545 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:51,171 Marvin? Can we, uh, talk? Again? 546 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,305 I don't think it's a good idea 547 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,840 for me to fraternize with the enemy. 548 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,242 Just shut up and listen. 549 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,776 I made a deal with Formica Mike. 550 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,746 You're coming back to work on Monday at twice the pay. 551 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,648 He tell you about the forklift incident? Yes. 552 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,783 And the miscommunication with the toilet? Yeah. 553 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,952 He's gonna fire me, isn't he? Do you want to come back or don't you? 554 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,921 I don't get it. Why would you take me back with a raise 555 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,291 when I'm just your dumb kid brother who "means well"? 556 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,992 Well, this time you didn't mean well. 557 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,194 You did well. 558 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,196 Your stupid commercial is a hit. 559 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,398 (TEARS FOR FEARS' "EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD" PLAYS) 560 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:22,202 And... I really need you. 561 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,070 You said it? He said it. 562 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:27,807 What do you say we make another commercial? Together. 563 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:30,410 ADULT ADAM: In the end, turns out all my Uncle Marvin 564 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,579 really wanted was to be needed. 565 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,013 And he was. 566 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,848 ** 567 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,252 Hey, Booper. 568 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,620 Brought you a snacky. 569 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,290 Not a prune in sight. Not hungry. 570 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,592 You got a 98 on your Econ test? 571 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,360 That's why I studied with Jamie. 572 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,828 She gets straight "A's." 573 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,363 Hmm. 574 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:54,467 Guess I made a snap judgment based on some bleachers. 575 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,870 I just... Got worried, and the mom in me kicked in. 576 00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,273 Whatever. It's my fault for letting you in. 577 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,276 No. I want you to let me in. 578 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,444 You guys are getting older. 579 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,346 You don't need a mom like you used to. 580 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,047 But if I'm your friend... 581 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,116 Then I can still be there for you. 582 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,051 I got plenty of friends. 583 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,820 But I only got one mom. 584 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,655 ADULT ADAM: That night, our mom realized she could shine 585 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,358 just as bright in Barry's life by being his mom, 586 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,527 while Uncle Marvin... Like that? 587 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,330 ...was enjoying his time in the spotlight. 588 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,398 He really does mean well. 589 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,066 He really does. 590 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,635 Huh! 591 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,370 ADULT ADAM: And sometimes the people who mean well 592 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,739 end up being the best surprises of all. 593 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,042 Mom? What are you doing here? 594 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,344 Schmoopie, you were right. 595 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,678 I can't be your friend. 596 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,480 I'm your mom, and that's what you need, 597 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,715 and I am gonna mom it up like you have never seen. 598 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,751 Now? I've had enough, mister! 599 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,486 You're failing half of your classes 600 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,455 because of all your wild partying. 601 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,189 What are you doing? 602 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,991 Oh, you just party so wildly. 603 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,426 But it stops today! 604 00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,928 The same with your cool-but-dangerous stunts! 605 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,998 And your antics, which are equally as wild. 606 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,967 BARRY: Mom! And you. 607 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,936 You're the one who tutored my can't-be-tamed son the other day, right? 608 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,505 Mmm. Um, yeah. 609 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,106 Great. Well, now you're gonna tutor him 610 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,608 in all his subjects, huh? 611 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,843 (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Don't argue with me. 612 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,679 What I say is final. 613 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:15,848 Moms, huh? 614 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,650 (SIGHS) Yeah. 615 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,254 They're the worst. 616 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,590 * I can't stand this indecision * 617 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:24,557 Hai! 618 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,859 Come on down to the Ottoman Empire, 619 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:27,960 where the Sofa Samurai 620 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,996 is slashing all our prices in half! 621 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,832 And I am but a simple radish farmer. 622 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,267 Oh, noble warrior, 623 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,536 won't you protect us from high prices? 624 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,137 ADULT ADAM: That's the thing about family. 625 00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,872 Everyone has a part to play. 626 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,008 And when the people you love are playing themselves, 627 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,044 well, that's a show you don't want to miss. 628 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,746 (GRUNTS) 629 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,581 (SHRIEKS) 630 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:49,949 ** 631 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,985 Crazy Eddie's having a pillow sale! 632 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,821 Every pillow you can see... 633 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,625 Big pillows, large pillows, throw pillows, every pillow! 634 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,927 And it's only for this special month! 635 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,028 Oh! 636 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,167 Call a guy and tell him something gross. 637 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,736 Ew. Never. I'll take a zit sticker. 638 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,471 I knew you'd still be here! 639 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,205 Erica! You came home to see me! 640 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,908 No, I came home to fight you all for invading my privacy! 641 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,444 But Barry said you were fine with it. 642 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,346 That is not what I said, Erica. 643 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,781 What I told them was... Run, JTP! 644 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:22,849 ALL: JTP! 645 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,485 Okay, I get you're mad, 646 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,554 but can I at least get a kiss before you flip out? 647 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,288 Yeah, I'm going back to school. 648 00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:30,723 Wait. That's not... But I didn't...