1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:05,106 ADULT ADAM: Ah, the '80s, the golden age of TV theme songs. 2 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,908 Seemed like every show had a tune you couldn't get out of your head, 3 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,311 but the catchiest was The Golden Girls, 4 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,714 a show about four saucy seniors enjoying their twilight years. 5 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,150 When they came on, you couldn't help but sing along. 6 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,986 * Thank you for being a friend 7 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,191 * Traveled down the road and back again 8 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,127 * Your heart is true 9 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,930 * You're a pal and a confidant 10 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,065 * Boom boom boom 11 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:34,568 * And if you threw a party 12 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:39,507 * And invited everyone you knew 13 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,344 * You would see the biggest gift would be from me 14 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,480 * And the card attached would say 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,782 * "Thank you for being a friend" * 16 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,085 Good song, great ladies. 17 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:52,986 Oh, Blanche! 18 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,622 (LAUGHS) 19 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,691 * I'm twisted up inside 20 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,928 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 21 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,099 * I don't know the future 22 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:08,035 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 23 00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,905 ADULT ADAM: It was January 3, 1980-something 24 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,108 and winter break was going great for Erica. 25 00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,776 She was sleeping in, chilling out, 26 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,479 and still falling for her boyfriend, Geoff. Hard. 27 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,181 (GRUNTS) 28 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,550 What the hell? Ugh! 29 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,784 Good morning, clumsy pants! 30 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,520 What... The hell? 31 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,088 It's day 27 of our winter break. 32 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,657 I wanted to surprise you with something special. 33 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,792 How did you even get in here? Love finds a way. 34 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,794 Also there's a basement window that doesn't lock. 35 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:37,097 Dude, you've done something special every single day! 36 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:39,167 Aw, you noticed! Oh, I've noticed. 37 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,934 The flowers, the mix tapes, 38 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,337 the Mariachi band that was really nice at first 39 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,805 and then they overstayed their welcome. 40 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,141 Okay, well, did you ever think that I do all this to compensate 41 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,177 for what you do, which is nothing. 42 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,645 I'm on winter break! I'm supposed to do nothing! 43 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:52,880 I'm just saying, it would be nice 44 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,415 if you went all out for me once in a while. 45 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,250 Where are my rose petals and Mariachis 46 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,685 who play three songs too many? 47 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,788 Look, you know that I love you and stuff, so what more do you need? 48 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,022 (WHISPERING) White horses. What? 49 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,123 White horses... What? 50 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,092 (NORMAL VOICE) White horses? Get them, try it. 51 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,195 Okay, I don't know what you're saying, but don't count on it. 52 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,897 (GROANS) 53 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,268 Why the hell are my stairs covered in garbage? 54 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,803 That was all Geoff. 55 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,606 Yeah, he threw a bunch of wildly dangerous rose petals all over the place. 56 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,740 Which I adore! 57 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:22,176 This isn't a damn botanical garden. 58 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,411 Go get a broom, Schwartz. 59 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,878 I see where you get it from. 60 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,614 ** 61 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,250 Is he going to go get a broom or what? 62 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,819 ADULT ADAM: While Erica turned a cold shoulder to love, 63 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:35,456 my mom was warming her heart with her favorite TV gal pals. 64 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,225 Shmoops. The Golden Girls are on. 65 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,626 Come sit. 66 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,595 We'll watch and picture how we'll spend our golden years together. 67 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,264 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 68 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,934 Do you actually think you and I are going to share a house when we're old? 69 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,437 No. (CHUCKLES) 70 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,772 Barry and Erica will be there, too. 71 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,073 Oh, balls! 72 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,409 We need to find you three nice ladies to keep you occupied. 73 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,977 Adam, stop with the panicking. 74 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,346 I've got plenty of friends. 75 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:01,315 Let's make a specific list so we're all on the same page. 76 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,217 Oh, I got it. Virginia Kremp. 77 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:04,518 Good. Just name two more. 78 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,686 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 79 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,256 Oh, there's my friend from Jazzercise. Um... 80 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,323 She sounds incredible! 81 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,492 She's got the headband and the thingy... 82 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,394 Definitely lifelong friend material! 83 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,462 What is her name? 84 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,230 We don't need names! Just like lifelong friend. 85 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,566 Essie Karp! That's it. 86 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,634 Wow, I really lost touch with her. 87 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,736 Oh, focus on the positive. 88 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,472 All we need is one more. 89 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,007 This will be part of the big Bevolution, then. 90 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,710 I need to find a life outside of my little snuggle bugs. 91 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,011 Looking for a posse, eh? 92 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,413 You've come to the right place. 93 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,782 Yes! Barry's rudely butting in like he always does. 94 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,250 It's your lucky day, 95 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,753 'cause I happen to command the greatest friend group ever assembled... 96 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,888 The JTP! 97 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,823 ALL: JTP! BEVERLY: Oh, that's fun. 98 00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,224 You say three letters to them 99 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,260 and they always scream them back at you. 100 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,696 And with my help, you can have that, too. 101 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,898 All you got to do is make sure you pick friends 102 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,900 that have a specific role in the group. 103 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,202 Ooh, like my beloved Golden Girls. 104 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,405 Yes, for instance, I'm the Dorothy, 105 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,973 the strong, masculine leader who keeps everyone in line. 106 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,209 Oh, you are my handsome Bea Arthur. 107 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,112 And Andy here is our Sophia, the tiny, adorable spitfire. 108 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,179 No filter, yo. 109 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,215 Naturally, Naked Rob is our Blanche... 110 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,217 The sensual one, free with his body. 111 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,486 My parents got me someone to talk to once a week about it. 112 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,355 And Matt Bradley here is our Rose, 113 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,490 dumb as rocks and always messing everything up. 114 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,025 I just treasure these friendships. 115 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,260 Ah! Brain freeze! Hurry! 116 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,129 I need my best friends to rub my head. 117 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,797 Oh, yes. Ahh. 118 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,733 This is what I want! 119 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,535 ADULT ADAM: As Barry was feeling the love, 120 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,803 I was going to show my girlfriend just how much I loved her. 121 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,004 What are you two doing? 122 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,172 Your brother's such a dork. 123 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,708 I surprised Jackie by writing romantic lyrics 124 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,977 to music from her favorite sci-fi movies. 125 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,179 (ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA PLAYS) * You 126 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,549 * Are 127 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,352 * So 128 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,887 * Pretty 129 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,089 * And nice and cool and smart 130 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,592 * And funny and strong and pretty * 131 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,395 (MUSIC STOPS) Dude, that is so stupid. 132 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,829 And yet so adorable. 133 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,798 Burn! 134 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,667 Wait, are you being serious? Don't mind her. 135 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,935 Her heart is a dusty cavern, void of romance. 136 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,171 Wait a second, you're dad's kid, too. 137 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,507 So how did you not inherit his crappy outlook on love? 138 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,177 'Cause I've chosen other, way better paternal role models, 139 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,311 like John Hughes. 140 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,714 The reclusive billionaire who saved his bodily fluids? 141 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,948 No! That's Howard Hughes. 142 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,216 I'm talking about the filmmaker 143 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,851 who makes romantic teen movies. 144 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,487 That's who I model my life after. 145 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,689 Like, on my birthday, Adam brought me a cake 146 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,691 and we sat on the dining room table to eat it together. 147 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:24,825 Sixteen Candles. 148 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,894 And on Valentine's Day, he painted 149 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,529 this amazing portrait of me. 150 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,663 Some Kind of Wonderful. 151 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,099 And on our anniversary, he showed up on a lawnmower 152 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,934 and we rode off into the sunset together. 153 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,168 Can't Buy Me Love. 154 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:38,005 Not a Hughes flick, but clearly influenced by the master. 155 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,808 So, what? I ride Geoff around on a mower 156 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,743 and he stops being lame for a few minutes? 157 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,678 Kind of missing the point, but yes. 158 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,448 Dad, I need your stupid mower! 159 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,116 Now you want to mow the grass? 160 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,552 It's the middle of winter! It's about to snow! 161 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,086 It has nothing to do with mowing! 162 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,988 Then why do you need it? It's a whole freaking thing! 163 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,323 Just stop asking questions! 164 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,791 Oh, I'll ask questions, all right! 165 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,192 Damn it, I'm in college! 166 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,995 I shouldn't even have to ask to use the stupid gardening equipment! 167 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,697 When I'm done soaking this toe, 168 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,132 I'm going to go in the garage, 169 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,267 and so help me, if that lawnmower's missing, 170 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,236 it's curtains for you! Curtains! 171 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,406 Well, good luck catching me with that swollen Cheeto toe! 172 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,642 Thanks for the love help. This is gonna go great. 173 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,009 Curtains! 174 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,812 ADULT ADAM: As my dad was trying to stop Erica's romantic plan, 175 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,114 my mom was trying to start some lifelong friendships. 176 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,150 Ginzy! Over here! 177 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,219 Hey! Haven't seen you at the PTA in a while. 178 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,321 Oh, I know, I've been so busy, 179 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,257 and also I was banned for complaining 180 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,259 about the crappy sangria last time. 181 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:36,029 But here I am, and everyone's too afraid to say anything to my face! 182 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,197 Well, we could certainly use your help. 183 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,032 We have a huge agenda tonight. 184 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,734 Winter formal planning, fundraising... 185 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,437 Creating a tight-knit group of friends so we don't die alone. 186 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:44,772 Think about it, Ginzy. 187 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,540 You and me, living it up 188 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,942 in a Miami bungalow like sisters. 189 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:52,145 Um, I kind of have actual sisters that I can live with. 190 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,482 Well, your sisters can (BLEEP) themselves. 191 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:55,716 I'm sorry, but they can. 192 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,950 Okay. Look at me, Ginzy. 193 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,085 I'd rather not. 194 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,152 Look at me right now. Mmm-hmm. 195 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,723 It's you and me until the day you die. 196 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,493 Okay, okay. 197 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,094 There you go. 198 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,163 We'll be just like The Golden Girls and you'll be Sophia! 199 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,032 What? The grumpy older one? 200 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,067 Exactly! Just look at your face. 201 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,537 You're totally her, you goofy old bat. 202 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,138 (WHISTLE BLOWS) Settle down, people. 203 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,840 PTA is in session. 204 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:24,111 First order of business, we need a group of volunteers to organize a senior ski trip. 205 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,748 Rick! I'll head up the senior ski committee. Virginia Kremp's in, too. 206 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,617 No, I don't even have a kid in the senior class. 207 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,552 I just need two more volunteers. 208 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,086 I can help. No! 209 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,056 Sorry, Ruben Amaro, Sr. I didn't mean to yell, but sit down. 210 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,491 But my son loves that trip. 211 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:40,127 And we love Ruben Amaro, Jr., Ruben Amaro, Sr., 212 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,262 but this committee is ladies only. 213 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,598 I don't think you can do that. 214 00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,299 Ooh! Sassy. 215 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,602 I like the cut of your jib, Essie Karp. 216 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,170 You're in, you giant floozy. 217 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,505 I don't know how to reply to that. 218 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:52,973 And last but not least... 219 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,208 Linda Schwartz, you're just what I need. 220 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,645 Actually, I'm on two other committees. 221 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,780 Well, that's on you for overextending yourself 222 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,315 like a big, dumb airhead. (LAUGHS) 223 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,518 Every group has one, am I right? 224 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,620 We're good to go, Rick. What do you say? 225 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,689 It's weird, Beverly. It's really weird. 226 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:12,259 Yay! We're going to be best friends! 227 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,762 I mean, a very good committee. 228 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:20,801 ADULT ADAM: Fearing she was destined to become an unromantic loaf like my dad, 229 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,771 Erica embarked on her first grand romantic gesture. 230 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,574 Thanks to me, she used the movie Can't Buy Me Love 231 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,375 to mow her way back into Geoff's heart. 232 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,410 Let's do this! 233 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,546 Turns out, wasn't as easy as it looked. 234 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,649 Yo, Schwartz! Open your window! 235 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,018 All that romantic crap is happening. 236 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,386 Why are you mowing my lawn? 237 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,453 It's the middle of winter! 238 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,323 ERICA: Damn it! It's stuck! 239 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,524 Get off my lawn! 240 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,993 Erica? What are you doing? 241 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,629 This is supposed to be like that movie Buy Me Some Love. 242 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,863 Can't Buy Me Love? 243 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,699 I thought you said that was a corny chick movie. 244 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,833 What's the hold up, man? 245 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,703 Just come down here and take my sweet romance already. 246 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,437 She's not very good at this, Geoffy. 247 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,841 I know! Doing this stuff just makes me feel so stupid. 248 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,075 That's the whole point. 249 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,244 You're supposed to be vulnerable for the person you love! 250 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,614 Geoff! Come down and push her out! 251 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,748 It's fine. I got it. 252 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,050 ** 253 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,654 Oh, no! No! No! No! 254 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,523 My Peugeot! Dad's Peugeot! 255 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,559 I am so sorry. I'll pay to fix it. 256 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,596 You got to order the parts from France! It's a whole thing! 257 00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,599 God, do you seen what happens when you guilt me into being romantic! 258 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,200 Guilt you? 259 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,769 That's not what I meant. 260 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,239 I just wanted to hang and relax and enjoy my winter break. 261 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,407 Well, you got two days left. Enjoy them without me. 262 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:35,976 What? There's a senior ski trip. 263 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,110 I think I'll have a better time there. 264 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,246 But I'm going back to college. 265 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,948 I won't see you for months. 266 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,349 Kind of seems like you need a break. 267 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,719 You could have just read a poem. 268 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,122 ** 269 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,458 Okay, let's review everything I taught you 270 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:54,061 about being a bodacious leader of a friend group. 271 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,228 Rule one. 272 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,898 Always bust balls. Yes! 273 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,933 Friendship is about breaking down the walls 274 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,769 to figure out what really bothers a person. 275 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,870 Rule two? 276 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,472 Pick a badass name for the group 277 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,675 and yell it as often as possible 278 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,644 to display a terrifying show of unity. 279 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:14,614 I chose the JTP. Three letters, but powerful. 280 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,017 Well, I'm looking for my Golden Girls, 281 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,553 so I chose Goldberg Girls. Goldberg Girls! 282 00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:24,291 Rule three? Uh, create opportunities to bond. 283 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,660 May I suggest lighting your farts? 284 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,662 It's really brought me and my friends a lot closer. 285 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,498 I was more thinking we would bedazzle matching sweaters, 286 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,166 like fashionable street toughs. 287 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,501 Ah, very lame. 288 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,635 So it's perfect! 289 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,937 (DOORBELL RINGS) (CHUCKLES) 290 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,239 There they are! 291 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:43,410 The fearsome foursome is back together again. 292 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:47,114 Come in! Come in, I made cheesecake. Ha! 293 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,615 I'll dish while we dish. 294 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,051 Actually, I told my husband that I'd be back by 9:00, 295 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,753 so maybe we should just jump right in? 296 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,387 I bet you'd like that, you little hussy. 297 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,089 But sure, let's get cracking. 298 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,658 Okay, I got everybody a BeDazzler. 299 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:01,628 Now, tell me, what color jewels should we use? 300 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,164 Jewels? For our matching sweaters, you big slut! 301 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,066 Ah... 302 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,768 Bevy, why are you being so off-putting? 303 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,937 Don't listen to her, she's old and cranky. 304 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,639 Cough up some dust, why don't you? (LAUGHS) 305 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,841 (STAMMERS) What's happening? 306 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,142 Classic Linda. 307 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,511 She's such a clueless dummy, right, but in a good way! 308 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,247 Okay, why do you keep calling us names? 309 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,614 I am just busting balls. 310 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,583 That's what we do in the Goldberg Girls. 311 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,152 That's our cool new name, by the way. 312 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,520 (LAUGHS) Goldberg Girls! 313 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:32,659 We'll get there. 314 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:34,862 ERICA: So you can buy someone love 315 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,063 'cause it happened in this movie, 316 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,530 which is super creepy and weird. 317 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,200 I mean, she gives up her cool friends for the gardener? 318 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,634 Okay, this movie sucks. 319 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,070 Yep, there's no helping her. 320 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,005 Wow, you really are a closed off Murray. 321 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,640 No! I refuse to accept that. 322 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,309 Now, give me another cornball movie 323 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,144 that'll show Geoff he's my number one fella. 324 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:54,147 Oh, you know what Adam did for me that was amazing? 325 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,583 He stood on my front lawn with a boom box over his head 326 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,485 and played In Your Eyes. Say Anything. 327 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,153 Wait, I thought that's how you got Dana. 328 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,522 What? What? 329 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,924 What? What's that? 330 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,025 What? What? 331 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,093 What? Wha... 332 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,428 Did you recycle that movie on me? 333 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,897 Pardon? Wait, I was wrong. 334 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,498 It wasn't his first love, Dana, 335 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,300 it was you, the new one. 336 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,634 (WHISPERS) Stop talking. The better one. 337 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,669 (NORMAL VOICE) Stop talking. Oh, it's fine. It's fine. 338 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,806 I have a past, too. Ruben Amaro, Jr. 339 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,074 Yeah, he's going to Stanford on a baseball scholarship. 340 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,142 I have to go. 341 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,744 My God, lady! 342 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,080 Next time you need help with love, go somewhere else! 343 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,916 I didn't mean to drag you down with me! 344 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,051 But you did! I know! I'm sorry! 345 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,652 Okay, I can win Jackie back. 346 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,823 Just, uh... Just need some fresh romantic movie material. 347 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,559 Wait, Short Circuit! That's romantic. 348 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,693 It's really not. 349 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,162 ADULT ADAM: And so I called upon 350 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,697 my trusty action figures for inspiration. 351 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,166 Oh, Weekend at Bernie's! That's it! 352 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,835 It's not. Road House. 353 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,036 Eh. Interspace. 354 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,537 No! Taxi Driver? 355 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,604 Seriously, no! 356 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,840 Mac and Me? Stop! 357 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,641 Krull. I don't even know what that is! 358 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,977 Halloween! How many toys do you have? 359 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,211 Disney's Black Hole? 360 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,347 At least take them out of the package and play with them! 361 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,382 Beastie Droids! That's not even a movie. 362 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,716 Wait, the Highlander! 363 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,819 There's a tiny love story before all the sword fighting. 364 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,020 Sure, why not. 365 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,490 It's not going to work. 366 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,959 I know. Buck Rogers? 367 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,463 BEVERLY: Good news, JTP. 368 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:20,533 The 14-layer dip I made for the Goldberg Girls is up for grabs. 369 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,569 What happened? Linda got whooping cough, 370 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,072 Essie got pink eye, and Ginzy got both. 371 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,606 Please. Sounds highly unlikely. 372 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,241 Okay, what are you implying? 373 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,809 We're not implying, 374 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,245 we're saying they stone-cold dissed you. 375 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,546 Also, I saw them all at the school. 376 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,249 Okay, we're talking about the Goldberg Girls here. 377 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,817 You boys are dead wrong. 378 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,752 Nope. They were meeting Coach Mellor about the ski trip. 379 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:42,289 Well, that's a kick in the downstairs stuff! 380 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,957 This is the classic friend diss, 381 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,359 like the time I only had three tickets to the Eagles game 382 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,095 and told Matthew we all got stuck in an elevator. 383 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,597 What? Do you mind, I'm helping my mom here. 384 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,733 They're meeting without you, just like we all met for ribs after the Eagles game. 385 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,103 Stop telling him about our special day, dude! 386 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,171 I'm trying to be cool about this, but it's getting hard. 387 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,540 It's not always about you, Matt Bradley! 388 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,876 And don't be a Matt Bradley. 389 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,978 Be the Barry and take charge. 390 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,314 ** 391 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:11,618 I'd say your best exercise, pre-skiing, is probably the wall sit. 392 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,686 Now, the wall is just there, just keeps you honest. 393 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,854 Well, well. 394 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,524 If it isn't the Goldberg Girls, minus the Goldberg. 395 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,625 Beverly, great news! 396 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,261 Our pink eye and our scurvy cleared up! 397 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,196 It was whooping cough, and save it. 398 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,332 Look, we didn't want to hurt your feelings, 399 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,599 but the ski trip is tomorrow, 400 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,368 and we still have a ton of work to do. 401 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,536 Skip it, Linda. 402 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,404 And to think I wanted to live with the three of you 403 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,473 in a beautiful Miami bungalow 404 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,076 with wicker furniture and bright floral patterns. 405 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,510 Is that what this is about? 406 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,746 You forcing us to be your Golden Girls? 407 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,415 Well, I don't know about "forcing," but maybe "tricking." 408 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,785 How about we do neither and plan a ski trip like normal people? 409 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,121 She's right. I just don't have time to be a Goldberg Girl. 410 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:51,524 But I thought we could travel down the road and back again. 411 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,193 My heart is true. 412 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,062 You're pals and my confidants. 413 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,429 I don't even know you. 414 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,931 Essie, if you threw a party 415 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,466 and invited everyone you knew... 416 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,900 Yeah, we all know the theme song. 417 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:03,836 ...you would see the biggest gift would be from me. 418 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,973 And do you know what the card attached would say? 419 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,410 "Thank you for being a friend"? Exactly. 420 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,613 Bev, we all have families and millions of things to do. 421 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,382 We just don't have time for friends. 422 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,487 Good luck with your ski trip. 423 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,558 All right, anyway, back to what I was saying. 424 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,261 So, you want to use the wall for a wall sit, okay? 425 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,597 Hold this position for at least half an hour. 426 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,102 ADULT ADAM: The Goldberg Girls may have iced out my mom, 427 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,705 but Barry was ready to crush fresh powder on the senior ski trip. 428 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,643 All right, me and the JTP are off to the slopes. 429 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,911 Check the news for an avalanche, 430 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,180 'cause Big Tasty's going to hit that mountain hard. 431 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,848 Well, have fun with your friends. 432 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,151 At least one of us will. You okay? 433 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,986 What happened to your stupid Goldberg ladies club? 434 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:56,023 They're busy moms. There's no room for friends. 435 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,858 ADULT ADAM: My mom's posse had abandoned her, which offended Barry to his core. 436 00:15:58,891 --> 00:15:59,926 (DOORBELL RINGS) 437 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,195 Hi. Is your mom home? 438 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,931 Your kind is not welcome in my home. So beat it! 439 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,367 No, no, I'm here. I'm here. What's wrong? 440 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,969 There is a huge snowstorm upstate. 441 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,071 All the roads are closed. 442 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,939 And so is this conversation. 443 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,607 No one disrespects my mama! 444 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,043 You're all a bunch of garbage! 445 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,744 Hey, Barry, dial it back a little bit. 446 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,080 Bevy, we are really sorry for excluding you, 447 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,948 but you are the only one who can help us! 448 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816 Put a sock in it, Kremp! 449 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,418 We both saw this day coming. 450 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,021 Come on! Hit me! Free punch! Right there! Right there! 451 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,257 He's sweet defending you, but this isn't about us. 452 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,924 It's okay. He's just a little riled up. 453 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,094 Yeah, I am! Come get some, Ginzy! 454 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,428 Maybe we should come back? 455 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,598 Maybe you should screw off for making my precious mother so sad. 456 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,866 Barry, not okay. 457 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,301 Go in the yard and clomp it off. 458 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,702 Fine! 459 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,271 (FEET THUMPING) 460 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,805 The school canceled the senior ski trip. 461 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,074 We don't know what to do. 462 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,442 The whole class is heading to the bus right now, 463 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,743 and they are going to be heartbroken. 464 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,446 No hearts are gonna break today, 465 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,848 not if our ski committee has anything to say about it. 466 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,719 Okay, we've got tons to do and no time to do it. 467 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,489 Ginz, hit the bakery, get hot chocolate and doughnuts. 468 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,125 Linda, call Principal Ball, tell him to unlock the school 469 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,693 so we can access the cafeteria. 470 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,328 Essie, hit the Baederwood Market. 471 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,896 We need a dolly, wax paper, 472 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,364 and white zin! On it! 473 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:14,834 This is going to be the best non-ski ski trip the world has ever seen! 474 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,503 Listen up and settle down! 475 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,305 The trip is off. There's nothing we can do. 476 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,208 But I've been waiting four years for this ski trip. 477 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,509 It's very disappointing. 478 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,844 (WHEELS SCREECHING) (HORN HONKING) 479 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,979 ** 480 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,416 * Thank you for being a friend 481 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,020 * Traveled down the road and back again 482 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,522 * Your heart is true 483 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,925 * You're a pal and a confidant 484 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,195 Look, it's four hot moms. 485 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,997 * And if you threw a party 486 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:48,668 * Invited everyone you knew 487 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,070 * You would see the biggest gift BEVERLY: Step aside, Mellor. 488 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,606 These kids won't be denied their special memory. 489 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,175 Not on our watch. 490 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,578 * Thank you for being a friend (CHEERING) 491 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,747 ADULT ADAM: That night, my mom's ski committee 492 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,152 waxed up some lunch trays and gave the senior class a night they'd never forget. 493 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,655 * Thank you for being a friend * 494 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,090 ADULT ADAM: Turns out, all it takes to have a legendary weekend 495 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,160 is friends at your side, 496 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,827 no matter what the weather brings. 497 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,763 Hey. Don't "hey" me. 498 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,698 You saw the mower? I saw the mower. 499 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,201 This is your fault! I'm you! 500 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,670 I'm stubborn and irritable 501 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,738 and don't like talking about my feelings. 502 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,307 (VOICE BREAKING) And now I'm going back to school 503 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,442 and I don't even get to say goodbye to Geoff. 504 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,545 All right, I'm going to tell you something 505 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,381 that I've never told anyone before. 506 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,317 When I was your age, 507 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,786 I stood outside of your mom's window 508 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,156 and I read her a poem, that I wrote, 509 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:46,159 about her beautiful emerald eyes. 510 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,828 Point is, if you're really like me, 511 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:53,366 then there's a little romantic in you, too. 512 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,069 ADULT ADAM: And just like all those romantic movies Erica hated to watch, 513 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,605 she found herself running through the night 514 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:02,175 to stop her one true love from getting on a bus. 515 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,944 Unfortunately, it was long gone. 516 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,014 But as fate would have it, she still had the chance to speak from her heart. 517 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,616 Erica? Geoff! 518 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,651 Okay, what's going on? Why are you here? 519 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,620 Listen, I am never going to be the kind of girl 520 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,088 that covers stairs with flowers 521 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,391 or stands on your lawn with a boom box. 522 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,729 But you need to know, really know, 523 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,898 that I love you more than anything. 524 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,169 And I wish that I could put how I feel 525 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:34,374 into some kind of amazing, romantic gesture, but I can't. 526 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,544 Well, that's a pretty good start. 527 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:40,580 ** 528 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,484 ADULT ADAM: Truth is, the people you love don't always act 529 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,853 like they do on TV or in the movies. 530 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:50,390 In real life, it's about weathering the storm together 531 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,625 and learning to laugh when things get tough. 532 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,461 * Thank you for being a friend 533 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,162 * I wanna thank you 534 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,197 ADULT ADAM: In the end that's the greatest thank you... 535 00:19:58,231 --> 00:19:59,699 For being a friend. 536 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,802 You know, we really do make one heck of a ski committee, huh? 537 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:03,936 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 538 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,538 You know what, I think we could make 539 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,007 a pretty damn good group of friends. 540 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,376 What are you saying...? 541 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,311 We're saying after this, we should find a restaurant 542 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,879 that has cheesecake on the menu. 543 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,548 And white zin! Essie, you are such a Blanche! 544 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:16,783 I really am! 545 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,451 (LAUGHTER) 546 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,986 To the Goldberg Girls. 547 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,355 ALL: The Goldberg Girls! 548 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,624 Oh, my God, this white zin is to die for. 549 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,793 And I have a coupon! 550 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,695 Oh, you guys, look over there. 551 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,996 So cute, right? 552 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,064 Oh, I hope that's us when we're old. 553 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,933 Did that lady just call us "old"? 554 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,736 Some people are just so (BLEEP) rude these days. 555 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:39,306 Oy, this white zin is to die for. 556 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,940 And I have a coupon! 557 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,575 (LAUGHTER) 558 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:47,680 ** 559 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,923 This is the kind of friendship where we just laugh. 560 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,726 Barry kept saying, "I wish Mrs. Kremp was my mother". 561 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,529 And I'd say, "Good. Go across the street and live there." 562 00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,130 Beverly is definitely our Dorothy. 563 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,199 The leader of the group, I'd say, probably is Bev. 564 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,637 She's the one with the big mouth that, you know, takes over. 565 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,772 Could Beverly have ever been a lawyer? 566 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:13,973 Are you kidding me? 567 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,242 Beverly could definitely have been a lawyer. 568 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,544 No one argues like me. 569 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:21,514 She has a brain like nobody else's 570 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,483 I have ever seen in my life. 571 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,518 What are you doing? (BLEEP) 572 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,820 Did we bleep that? Yeah. Let's bleep that.