1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,204
ADULT ADAM: Growing up,
I was obsessed
with Mel Brooks.

2
00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:06,374
He was a true comedic genius
who mastered the movie parody.

3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,576
Naturally, my favorite
was Spaceballs,

4
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:09,910
a brilliant satire
of Star Wars,

5
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:12,446
led by the legendary
Rick Moranis.

6
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,682
He introduced the galaxy's
most bumbling Darth Vader,

7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,617
aptly named Dark Helmet.

8
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,452
I can't breathe in this thing!

9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,254
(IMITATING DARTH VADER
BREATHING)

10
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,889
ADULT ADAM:
I not only memorized
every line of Spaceballs,

11
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,957
but I made sure
I looked the part, too.

12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,893
This was a weekend
well spent.

13
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,862
Seriously, how am I
not the most
popular guy at school?

14
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,265
That's what I keep asking kids
when I go to pick you up.

15
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,600
Mystery solved.

16
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,902
ADULT ADAM: Like any true fan,
I made it my mission

17
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,570
to start a Mel Brooks club,

18
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,639
and nothing would stand
in my way.

19
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,274
No.
This is crazy.

20
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:42,643
Every week,
I come in here trying
to get a new club going,

21
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,445
and you always
shut me down.

22
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:48,082
How can you say no
to a school-sponsored
Mel Brooks Appreciation Club?

23
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,583
Let's just add it
to the list.

24
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,952
The Ed Grimley Club,
the Q-Bert Club,

25
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:55,256
the Garbage Pail Kids Kids,
The Highlander Society.

26
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:58,626
But guess what, no one joined
those clubs except for you.

27
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,195
To be fair,
there can be only one.

28
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,996
See what I did there?
No.

29
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,565
No one knows
what you're talking about.

30
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,834
And that's why we need
my club.

31
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,036
To educate people
on awesome things.

32
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,639
Fine. But you need to have
at least three members,

33
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,174
and one
has to be a girl.

34
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,176
Jackie! Huge news!

35
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,978
My freshly-minted
Mel Brooks Club needs
a Princess Vespa.

36
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,181
I would love to,
but I'm swamped
with the school paper.

37
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:21,949
Damn it. This is gonna be
harder than I thought.

38
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,818
I have no choice but to comb
the hallways for members.

39
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,621
I love how confident you are
in your bad jokes.

40
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,557
I'll join
your Spacenuts Club,

41
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,493
but only if I can be treasurer
and hold all the money,

42
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,196
which will go missing,
along with that big-ass comb.

43
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,297
Just take the comb.

44
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:38,832
Yes. I'm gonna
do so many things.

45
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,501
* I'm twisted up inside

46
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,937
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say

47
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,041
* I don't know the future

48
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,779
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day

49
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,581
ADULT ADAM: It was May 9th,
1980-something,

50
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,883
and my sister had decided
to drop out of college

51
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,586
to pursue music full time
with her best gal pals.

52
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,221
Seriously,
dropping out of college

53
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,822
to start the world's greatest
girl band

54
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,957
was, like, the best idea
we've ever had.

55
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,860
I know. It feels so good to
finally be free of this prison

56
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:10,731
where we have to learn stuff
and party all weekend
and wake up at noon.

57
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,233
Honestly, it was like
a weight was lifted

58
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,834
after I told my dad
I left fashion school.

59
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,903
So it went well?
No, he cried.

60
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,671
Like an ugly cry,
where you gulp for air.

61
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,908
Well, my dad said I'm cut off
and can't ever move back.

62
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,377
Which reminds me,
I'm homeless and scared.

63
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,645
Don't worry.

64
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,480
We'll get a place in Philly
and live together

65
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,883
so we can practice
and get in nasty fights
that'll fuel our songwriting.

66
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,620
So, your parents are actually
on board with this?

67
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,688
My parents get it.

68
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,225
They will... When I tell them.

69
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,626
What?
You, like, suck.

70
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,728
Relax. My plan's always been
to tell them face-to-face

71
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,463
when they come up
for parents' weekend.

72
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:43,631
Enough stalling!
You, like, suck!

73
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,233
Today's the day!
You're right.

74
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:48,302
The moment
they step on campus,
I'm dropping the bomb.

75
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,437
Schmoopie!
Kiddo!

76
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,739
Hey!
Sorry, can't do it.

77
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,741
Howdy, girls.
Yeah, hello, hello, hello.

78
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,609
Let's just go to your room.
I gotta sit down.

79
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,212
You just sat
for the last three hours.

80
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,647
Driving isn't sitting!

81
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:00,914
Take me to your dorm.

82
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,251
You know what?
Who wants to sit
in a lame dorm

83
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,319
when it's parents' weekend?

84
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,288
There's a faculty mixer

85
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,390
and Frisbee golf in the quad.

86
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,425
There's even
an improv show!

87
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,762
Wouldn't mind sharing a few
laughs with Yuk Yuk Goose.

88
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,063
Oh, no, forget it.

89
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,431
Well, time for a tour!

90
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,866
Come on.
Let's go this way.

91
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,168
So sorry.

92
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,936
You have to tell them!
You're a traitor.

93
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,405
Okay, come on!

94
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,906
ADULT ADAM: As Erica stalled
on breaking the news,

95
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,775
things were revving up
at our school paper.

96
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,510
Okay, guys,
no more fluff pieces.

97
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,879
I want hard-hitting stories,
shocking exposes,

98
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,414
and fiery op-eds.
What do you got?

99
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:36,216
The price of tater tots in
the cafeteria has skyrocketed.

100
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,518
Where's all
that extra dough going?

101
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,253
Good! Follow the money!
Next!

102
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,589
I can tackle the
recent scandal in
Coach Mellor's health class.

103
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,758
Hey, nobody told me
I had to do a whole unit
on weenies!

104
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,994
Anyone else?
Hey

105
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,929
It's me.
Sorry to intrude.

106
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,798
Goldfarb!
Hit the bricks.

107
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,333
This is
newspaper staff only.

108
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,001
Actually, I've got something
super important

109
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,168
and need to get
the word out.

110
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,637
You're thinking
of joining the paper?

111
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,372
Just hoping you'd print this
on the back page,

112
00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,807
along with the ads
and word jumble.

113
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,443
Oh, my God!
Adam, this is fantastic!

114
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,378
Look, you guys!
This is exactly
what this paper needs,

115
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,779
a political cartoonist!

116
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,316
Uh, whuzzanuh?
Oh, man!

117
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,618
He's using Darth Vader
as a commentary

118
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,853
on Reagan's destruction
of our environment!

119
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,122
We are not printing
this smear piece, commie!

120
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,325
Ronald Reagan's
an American hero,

121
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,727
and he created
the Presidential
Physical Fitness Test

122
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,161
with his bare hands!

123
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,630
Uh, I feel like I should have
been a little bit clearer

124
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,997
on the information
I was trying to convey.

125
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,433
Oh, we're printing this,
Coach.

126
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,734
It's called
freedom of the press.

127
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,302
I do love freedom.

128
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,537
Damn it!
You can proceed!

129
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,271
You did it, buddy!
Did I?

130
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,273
I had no idea that you cared
about any of this stuff,

131
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,942
but I'm so glad to know
that you do.

132
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,378
ADULT ADAM: Turns out,
my girlfriend had been
waiting for me

133
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,380
to show my passion
for politics.

134
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,449
Just one problem...
I had none.

135
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,583
Since when are you
political, bro?

136
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,117
Since never, Dave Kim!

137
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,853
That was an ad
for my Mel Brooks Club.

138
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,055
I've always been aggressively
non-political,

139
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,923
mostly 'cause it's boring
and bums me out.

140
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,191
That makes way more sense.

141
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,393
It's fine.

142
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,828
It's a stupid cartoon
in the back of a paper.

143
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,163
No one will even notice.

144
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,599
**

145
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,634
This is very noticeable.

146
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:04,171
And so my love of Mel Brooks
had been mistaken
as a political statement.

147
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,406
Oh, balls!

148
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,141
Or, in my case, Spaceballs.

149
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,844
But that day, things were
even worse for Erica.

150
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,415
They have
cocktail shrimp on ice
and tiny corns on the cob.

151
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,017
Ooh, I feel like
such a fancy academic.

152
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:20,187
Well, I'm gonna get back
some of that tuition money
in shrimp.

153
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,189
Ooh!
You take your time.

154
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,524
Chew slowly.

155
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,693
Let's talk now
while Dad's feeding.

156
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,194
And remember,
we are in public,

157
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,429
which means you can't
freak out on me.

158
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,030
Boopie, what's wrong?
Nothing.

159
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:33,801
I actually have really
great news, which is...

160
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,437
I'm dropping out of
college to start a girl
band with my friends.

161
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,775
I just remembered
I don't wanna be
here for this.

162
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,243
No, you stay!

163
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,279
I need you here supporting me
on this like you always do.

164
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,315
But you know who
believes in me
more than anyone?

165
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,884
My mama.

166
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,019
Right?

167
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,389
You're gonna kill
your father.

168
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,291
No, don't do your whole
I'm-killing-Dad guilt routine!

169
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,394
You're gonna kill your father
dead right where he stands.

170
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,930
Mom, this is my dream
in life.

171
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,534
So it's your dream
to kill your father dead
with your bad decisions?

172
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,935
That's your big dream?

173
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,437
Pops, I really
need you here, man.

174
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,671
You just killed your father.

175
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:11,839
What are you doing?

176
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,974
You gotta support me
like you always do.

177
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,109
You want me to support you
killing your father?

178
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,978
Bevy, put this
in your food purse.

179
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,748
Erica's ditching college
to form a band.

180
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,650
No.
Well, look at that.

181
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,252
Dad's still alive
and oddly calm,

182
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,854
considering
I'm dropping out.

183
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,857
The reason I'm so calm
is because it's not happening,
moron.

184
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,660
I was a deadbeat loser
before college.

185
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,294
It turned my life around.

186
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,697
And dropping out was
the biggest regret of my life.

187
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,931
I could have been a lawyer.

188
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,433
She could have been
a lawyer!

189
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,802
And I didn't
because no college!

190
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,872
It's like you're trying
to kill me dead
right where I stand!

191
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,574
This is a disaster!

192
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,775
I could have been a lawyer!

193
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,009
She could have been
a lawyer!

194
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,844
So much for not
screaming in public.

195
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,313
ADULT ADAM: Yep, my parents
hadn't taken
Erica's news well.

196
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,517
Meanwhile, I was doing
everything I could
to stay out of the headlines.

197
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,018
No kids
in the teachers' lounge.

198
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,020
This is where we go
to be regular people.

199
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,221
I... I need a place
to hide out.

200
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,290
People are trying
to engage me
about politics.

201
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,958
You?
Please just let me in.

202
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,060
Trust me,
nobody reads that paper.

203
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,829
Yo, Goldnerd!

204
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:11,131
What's with this leftist load
of crap you put in the paper?

205
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,666
Oh, no,
you've pissed off

206
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,168
the self-righteous
Alex P. Keaton Club!

207
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,170
Okay, there's been a little
misunderstanding here.

208
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,972
See, this president's
from the movies.

209
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:22,075
Don't belittle Reagan
'cause his humble roots
are in acting.

210
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,711
The Gipper rules!

211
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,979
Yo, Ad! Awesome the way
you slammed Reagan!

212
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,548
We really are living
in the Empire!

213
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:30,651
Oh, no! You've also attracted
the whining liberal Democrats!

214
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,019
Back off, Dave Sirota.

215
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,688
There's no free handouts
for you
and your lefty leeches.

216
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,558
Says the dude who supports
a jelly-bean lover
out to destroy the planet.

217
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,826
It's a smear campaign.

218
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,993
It is not.
It's genius.

219
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,495
This paper is biased.

220
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,830
Oh, meet your
stupid president!

221
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,031
Okay, enough!

222
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,399
This is a Quaker school,
not the Senate floor.

223
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,201
All right, come on, guys.
Let's get to class.

224
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,870
Quick,
hide in the teachers' lounge.

225
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,640
But plug your nose.
Someone heated up
crab rangoon.

226
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,241
Adam!
Can you believe it?

227
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,043
Everyone either hates
or loves you.

228
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,811
You're so badass
and polarizing.

229
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,180
Classic me doing
me stuff, right?

230
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,849
I even showed your cartoon
to my parents,

231
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,884
and guess what... They wanna
have you over for dinner.

232
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,886
Dinner with Lynn
and Vinny?

233
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,054
That's a huge deal.

234
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,189
Wait. You haven't met
her parents yet?

235
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,423
What's the deal
with that?

236
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,693
Actually, I was kinda
wondering that myself.

237
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,828
Mmm, no, Adam,
you did meet my parents.

238
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,664
You guys had a nice chat
after the musical.

239
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,366
You mean when I was
dressed like Rum Tum Tugger
from Cats?

240
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,134
Oh, I see what this is.

241
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,737
They think you're a dweeb,
and Jackie doesn't wanna
prove them right.

242
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,138
I'm sure
that's not it at all.

243
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,306
No, he's right.

244
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,941
My parents were hippies
at Queens College,

245
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,877
and my dad was arrested
protesting the war.

246
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,879
Hmm, I thought that only
happened in the movies.

247
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,413
Look, I was worried
that you guys

248
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,382
wouldn't have anything
to talk about over dinner,

249
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,284
but this cartoon
changes everything.

250
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,720
Yes! I... I can't wait
to show your parents

251
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,722
just how much I know
about politics.

252
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,523
You could bring all of
your drawings over for dinner

253
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:44,958
and impress them
all over again.

254
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,227
What a lovely evening.

255
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,530
Ohh, balls.

256
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,667
ADULT ADAM: Or, again,
in my case, Spaceballs.

257
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,971
Yep, Erica was dropping out.

258
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,773
That is,
until my mom decided
to fix it.

259
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,775
Okay, okay,
no need to panic.

260
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:05,646
I will just do my
mama thing and threaten
whoever's responsible.

261
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:08,649
Mom, this isn't high school.
There's no way to fix this.

262
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,251
Trust me,
Mama can fix anything.

263
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,453
I don't even have books
or a meal plan anymore.

264
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,455
I cashed it all in
to fund our band's demo.

265
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,991
Mama can fix that.
But I don't even have
a room next year!

266
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,128
Mama can fix that.
I skipped the housing lotto
for a gig in New York.

267
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,295
Mama can fix it.

268
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:23,997
I also skipped finals,
which isn't ideal

269
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,266
because I'm already
on academic probation,

270
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,435
which means
I'm more failing out
than dropping out.

271
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,637
Mama can fix...

272
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,338
I also never wear flip-flops
in the shower,

273
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,473
so my feet
are not good.

274
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,442
Oh, for  sake,
Erica!

275
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,377
You have purposely
made this unfixable!

276
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,612
I'll fix it.

277
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,813
Fix it how?

278
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,815
How is he moving so fast
on a bad foot?

279
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,784
Your father's
been activated.

280
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:46,620
It's a combo of aggravation,
frustration, and rage

281
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,757
so powerful it makes
him the most determined
man on the planet.

282
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,191
Look at him go!

283
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,826
ERICA: How is he across
the quad already?

284
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,127
Is he climbing stairs?

285
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,631
He's climbing stairs two at
a time, and without a rail.

286
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,000
Even stairs can't stop him
when he's activated.

287
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:03,036
ADULT ADAM: As my activated
dad went to fix
Erica's bad decisions,

288
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,305
I was starting my career
as an activist.

289
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,474
Hey, guys? Sorry to interrupt
your Tetris- ing,

290
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,109
but I'm trying my hand
at political satire,

291
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,510
and I could really use
a little feedback.

292
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,780
What you got?
Okay, so, my first one's
all about

293
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,547
how people
protest injustice.

294
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,251
So then I thought,
"You know who's
really got it bad? Pizza."

295
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,187
And you know who's always
eating pizza?

296
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,222
The Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles.

297
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,557
So, the slices, like,
rise up in protest.

298
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,659
Oh, this is good.

299
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,927
I knew it.
This is real good.

300
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,495
Uh, what...
What is this for,
exactly?

301
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,530
I'm having dinner
with Jackie's parents

302
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,332
and have to show them
that I'm a smart guy

303
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,868
who knows stuff
about the world
and politics and junk.

304
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,269
Oh, boy.

305
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,604
You're gonna need
some others.

306
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,240
For sure!
See, here we got lasagna
protesting Garfield.

307
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,710
'Cause he loves lasagna.
Slam dunk, dude.

308
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,678
Um, do you have
any different concepts

309
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,447
aside from a food protesting
the thing that eats it?

310
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,883
No, but I do have this.

311
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,519
That's Baby Ruth
picketing Sloth
from The Goonies.

312
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,721
This is the one!

313
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,289
You for sure show this
to Jackie's parents!

314
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,891
Please don't.
Kudos.

315
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,460
No, my point is,
you got to watch the news,
read the paper,

316
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,529
be able to discuss things
that aren't The Goonies.

317
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,564
He's not getting it, Adam.
Let me explain.

318
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,767
See, Sloth eats Baby Ruths,
like, all the time.

319
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,235
I get it.
Do you?

320
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,203
'Cause an entire line
of candy dies out,

321
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,772
and you just want them
to sit there and take it!

322
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,573
Keep sticking your head
in the sand, sheep!

323
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,110
If Sloth is left unchecked,
there are no more Baby Ruths!

324
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,311
How are you
not getting this?

325
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,847
I do get it.
Do you?

326
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,782
Yeah, you should probably
teach me some of the basics.

327
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,083
Yeah.

328
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,418
**

329
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,654
Um, why is all our stuff
back here?

330
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,023
Erica's father's
been activated, sweetie.

331
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,124
This is crazy!

332
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,326
Dad's been gone
for 45 minutes!

333
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,863
How on Earth can one person
do so much so fast?

334
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,498
That's what happens
when a father gets activated.

335
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,500
Stop saying "activated"
like it's a thing.

336
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,303
Clearly, it is.
All our stuff's
back here. How?

337
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,438
Murray sweet-talked
the head of the housing
office,

338
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,074
then got a bunch of
hacky-sacking kids

339
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,609
to bring everything back
for a plate of nachos.

340
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,444
But Erica dropped
all her classes.

341
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,781
Then he went to the registrar,
lobbed a few threats,

342
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,683
greased a few palms,
and... Boom...

343
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,251
Your class schedule
for the next year.

344
00:11:58,318 --> 00:11:59,586
But I failed out.

345
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,221
The dean literally
asked me to leave.

346
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,590
Then he saw the dean
and begged and pleaded

347
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,058
and even
shed a few tears.

348
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,094
You cried?
I did what I had to do.

349
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,429
So, what, you just want me
to give up on my dream?

350
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:13,000
Trust me,
I know from experience
you have to see this through.

351
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,101
It's too important.

352
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,268
I'm gonna take a nap.

353
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,970
Please, just listen
to our first song.

354
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,172
I know you'll see that this
is what I'm meant to do.

355
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,774
Gross.

356
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:21,942
How are you
already asleep?

357
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,911
Your father's been
deactivated, sweetie.

358
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,113
He won't wake for another
two to sixteen hours.

359
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,680
His feet are
on your pillow.

360
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,085
* I'm just a bill,
yes, I'm only a bill *

361
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,121
Schoolhouse Rock!
This is perfect!

362
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,124
That piece of paper
has a little briefcase
like a human!

363
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,826
I totally get politics now.

364
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,193
You really should read
The New York Times,

365
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,561
but I think
this is more your speed.

366
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,563
ADULT ADAM: Armed with
political knowledge,

367
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,433
I took on dinner
with Jackie and her parents.

368
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,968
No, all I'm saying is

369
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:50,838
I didn't get arrested
for protesting
at Queens College

370
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,305
to have the country
run like this.

371
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,107
If we did it your way,
we'd never get anything done.

372
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,175
Guys, behave.

373
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,544
No, I actually agree.

374
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,979
Sometimes a bill
just waits around

375
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,580
on those Capitol Hill
steps forever.

376
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,649
My point exactly, Adam.

377
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,351
These things take time.
Tell him.

378
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,685
Tell her, Adam.

379
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,154
Tell her what happens
when a bill just languishes.

380
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,057
Uh, yes,
what does happen next?

381
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,291
Uh...

382
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,927
* I'm just a bill

383
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,162
* Yes, I'm only a bill

384
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,429
Adam?

385
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,697
* And I'm sitting here
on Capitol Hill *

386
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,032
Is that
Schoolhouse Rock?

387
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,533
No.

388
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,070
'Cause it sounds like
Schoolhouse Rock.
Does it?

389
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,338
Yes, it sounds like you don't
know about basic government,

390
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,908
so you're singing
Schoolhouse Rock
to remind yourself.

391
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,242
No.

392
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,044
It's, uh, no.

393
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,545
Hey, you know
what would be fun?

394
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,181
Adam, why don't you show us
some new cartoons

395
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,248
that you made
for the paper?

396
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,516
Maybe after dinner?

397
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,151
Listen,
you wanna stir things up
with your drawing?

398
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,619
You should hit
Star Wars.

399
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,189
Vinny, stop.
Last thing Adam needs
is to hear

400
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,491
you rant about Star Wars
and overblown budgets.

401
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,394
ADULT ADAM: By pure fate,
the conversation
suddenly pivoted

402
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,596
to the one topic that I could
debate like a pro.

403
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,031
No, no, no.

404
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,934
I promise you I can convince
anyone to love Star Wars.

405
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,269
All right, I can see you're
a man of passion, like myself.

406
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,905
Convince me.

407
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,706
Unfortunately,
Jackie's parents
were arguing about

408
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,243
this defense system from the
'80s nicknamed Star Wars.

409
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,712
I only knew about
the other one.

410
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,916
Look!
It's Han and Chewie!

411
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,618
They came back
to help the rebels!

412
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,420
'Cause what's more important
than space money?

413
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,554
Friendship.

414
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,457
Do or do not.
There is no try.

415
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,460
Never
underestimate tiny bears!

416
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,662
Open the blast doors!
Open the blast doors!

417
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,265
While IG-88 didn't play
a huge role in the movie,

418
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,900
he did get his own
action figure.

419
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,602
See? It shows that everyone
in the galaxy is important.

420
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,304
Oh, no!
They're dying, R2!

421
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:33,974
And Luke's all, "Aah!"

422
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,309
And then Vader
chucks the Emperor
down the reactor chute,

423
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,279
and we realize
there's still good in us!

424
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,150
And that, my friends,
is why Star Wars is the best.

425
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,489
They're talking about
a missile-defense system.

426
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,158
**

427
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,695
Good stuff.

428
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,097
ADULT ADAM: That night,
Jackie's parents
saw the real me.

429
00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:00,300
And the next morning, the real
me had some explaining to do.

430
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,801
Yeah, we gotta talk
about last night.

431
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,337
Oh, is that whole thing
still on everyone's mind?

432
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,873
Adam, what happened
to the guy who drew
that political cartoon?

433
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,976
Jackie,
that guy doesn't exist.

434
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,477
He never has.

435
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,679
It was just a flier
for my Mel Brooks Club.

436
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:13,947
So, you lied to me?

437
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,048
Of course I did.

438
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,616
You looked
so relieved and happy

439
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,318
when you thought I was
Mr. Politics Man.

440
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,220
Adam,
you don't have to pretend
to be somebody you're not

441
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,888
just to make me happy.

442
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,224
You admitted that I was
too embarrassing
to meet your parents!

443
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,492
No, that's not
how I meant it.

444
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,859
No, it is.

445
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,330
Look, I tried to be political,
and I sucked.

446
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,500
But when I'm not political,
I'm just not good enough.

447
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,868
So I can't win
no matter who I am.

448
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,071
**

449
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,210
ADULT ADAM:
Even though Jackie knew
I wasn't much for politics,

450
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,312
my work was still
being boycotted.

451
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,147
Hey!
Goldnerd!

452
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,548
Oh, man, now what?

453
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,782
You and me, bro.

454
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,351
Lunchroom debate
on foreign policy...

455
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,920
Lincoln-Douglas style,
no moderator.

456
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,488
Lincoln who?
What's happening?

457
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:56,990
Oh, you are so on!

458
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,225
Goldberg's gonna
tear you apart!

459
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,626
I'm not debating anyone!

460
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,294
Let me say this once
and for all.

461
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,064
My drawing was
about the bumbling president
from Spaceballs!

462
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,465
Damn right!

463
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,034
Reagan's bumbled his way
through his whole presidency.

464
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,536
And that is exactly
why I hate politics!

465
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,204
There is no debate
with you people.

466
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,706
You've just made up your mind
and refuse to listen!

467
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,742
So, our side wins,
then?

468
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,077
There is no side!

469
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,212
ADULT ADAM: What happened next
surprised even me.

470
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,947
I reached down deep
and gave the greatest,

471
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:24,051
most awkward non-political
speech ever delivered.

472
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,485
Look,
I'm just a simple dude

473
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,954
who likes movies
and puppet-based sitcoms.

474
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,856
That's what I wanna do
with my life.

475
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,959
Make people happy
with clean family fun.

476
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,761
Yes, it's super lame.

477
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,929
But it also helps
bring people together!

478
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,298
I don't see
that happening, man.

479
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,499
But it can.

480
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,733
'Cause no matter
what side you're on,

481
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,602
there's one thing
we can all agree on,

482
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,405
and that's that Mel Brooks
is freaking hilarious!

483
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:46,939
Agreed!

484
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,543
He's done the finest fart work
ever committed
to the silver screen.

485
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,313
Gotta admit...
I do love Young Frankenstein.

486
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,981
ADULT ADAM:
It's pronounced
"Fronk-en-steen,"

487
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,483
but not the point.

488
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,252
That day, I helped everyone
find some common ground.

489
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,954
And I finally founded
my first club.

490
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,756
ERICA:
* I'm twisted up inside

491
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,593
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say

492
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,961
ADULT ADAM:
'Cause even the toughest
debates can be won

493
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,231
if you open up your heart
and listen.

494
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,699
* Don't know the future

495
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,534
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day

496
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:15,702
Catchy stuff.

497
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,737
I know.

498
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,639
Doesn't mean I can let her
throw her future away.

499
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,375
Unless this is her future.

500
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,745
I just

501
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:29,782
always wanted Erica to do
what I never could
and finish college.

502
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,285
Dad, look at me.

503
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:35,622
My kids are all grown up,
and I'm searching
for who I am.

504
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,958
Last thing I want is for her
to end up like me, you know?

505
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,461
But Erica's not searching.

506
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,996
She's found
what she wants.

507
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,933
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
it was my mom
who got activated,

508
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,368
and when that happens...

509
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,769
...there's no stopping her.

510
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:54,040
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say

511
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,343
**

512
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,544
Mom, why are you back?

513
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,448
I listened to your song,
schmoo.

514
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,516
And you were right.

515
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,352
It's great.

516
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,287
And you need
to give this a shot.

517
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,189
But you said
that finishing college

518
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,957
is the only thing
that matters.

519
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,892
Well, this really
isn't about me.

520
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,595
What about Dad?
He's gonna flip.

521
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,265
Mama will fix it.

522
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,934
* Now I'm twisted up inside *

523
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,002
I hope.

524
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:24,437
ADULT ADAM: Truth is,

525
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,573
it's easy to let our
differences drive us apart.

526
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,141
It's not so hard to remember

527
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,876
we all have so much in common.

528
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,211
Whoa!

529
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,313
Your club still looking
for a Princess Vespa?

530
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,647
What about the newspaper?

531
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,184
I figured I could use
a little fun.

532
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,718
That's why I'm with you,
you know.

533
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,487
Because you make me laugh.

534
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,589
The world could use
more people like you.

535
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,091
No, the world needs you.

536
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,894
I mean,
you inspired me so much.

537
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,597
I actually learned how a law
becomes a bill because of you.

538
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,965
Bills become laws.

539
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,967
We'll just listen
to the song again.

540
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,438
You know, our club is about
to have a little field trip.
You in?

541
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,772
**

542
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,976
My childhood in the '80s
was a magical time.

543
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,979
For me, it wasn't about
the president or politics.

544
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,249
It was about the movies
that shaped me,

545
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:10,883
the laughter we shared,

546
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,019
the Schwartz in all of us.

547
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,622
This is terrible!
Do something!

548
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,857
Why didn't somebody tell me
my ass was so big?

549
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,428
ADAM: Man, the president
is such a dope!

550
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,562
Dude.

551
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,031
Chill, I'm talking
about the movie.

552
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,534
Seriously,
how do people not get it?

553
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,636
**

554
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,539
Now, there's a show on ABC
called The Goldbergs.

555
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,707
WOMAN 1: Oh, yeah.
You know, about my family.

556
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,476
And...

557
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,445
...the creator's taking heat

558
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:42,081
because they say he's
criticizing the president

559
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:43,316
when, in fact, he's cr...

560
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,253
He was criticizing
the president from Spaceballs.

561
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,754
WOMAN 1: Yeah.
WOMAN 2: Look at the hashtag!

562
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,489
WHOOPI: I mean, it's...
WOMAN 2: It's very clear!

563
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,463
What the...

564
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,466
**

565
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,202
Dark Helmet?

566
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,572
Take my hand,
Adam F. Goldberg.

567
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:09,509
Join me, and together
we can rule the galaxy
as father and son.

568
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,879
Dude, you're not my dad.

569
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,682
Oh, yeah?
Then explain this!

570
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:16,783
ADAM: No!

571
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,050
That's impossible!

572
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,652
I will never join you!

573
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:25,492
Oh, I see your Schwartz
has grown.

574
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,360
I'm in high school now.

575
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,962
Yeah, I was
a late bloomer myself.

576
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,364
Now die!

577
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,532
Oh! Aah!

578
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,534
**

579
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,547
ADAM: What's this?
DARK HELMET: Uh, nothing.

580
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,015
Spaceballs II.

581
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,250
Oh, it's just a little script
I'm noodling with.

582
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,319
It's stupid.

583
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,786
Actually,
I'm super proud of it.

584
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,121
Read it if you want.
I don't care.

585
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,824
You know what? I'd love
to act it out for you.

586
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,292
And so
Pizza the Hutt says,

587
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,828
"Dark Helmet wins
the intergalactic ski race!"

588
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,095
And I'm like,
"You know it."

589
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:04,731
Then all my subjects
cheer,

590
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,166
and the princess is like,
"Kiss me already."

591
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,968
And I do.

592
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,204
Awesome!

593
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,340
I give you my word.

594
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,807
I will get this made.

595
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:15,875
Oh, stop.

596
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,710
Take my hand, Dark Helmet!

597
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:21,681
Join me, and together
we can make this sequel!

598
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,351
**

599
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,988
Ohh, my little Schmoopie's
having a bad dream.

600
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,890
No!
This is my nightmare!