1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,238 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, my mom began work on her opus. 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:06,006 The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,509 She awkwardly pecked away at the typewriter for hours, 4 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,911 carefully listing every Parm-filled recipe 5 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,980 with meticulous detail. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,783 She was so hell-bent on making her book a reality 7 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,352 that she enlisted me to take the cover photo. 8 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:22,323 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 9 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,692 I don't know. I... I'm not feeling this. 10 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,494 Maybe bring a little energy to it. 11 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,797 Maybe not that much. 12 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,133 ADULT ADAM: My mom was determined to make every recipe 13 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,034 a cheesy, over-sauced masterpiece. 14 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,036 Naturally, we had to be the taste-testers, 15 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,206 which was exhausting for everyone. 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,508 My belly's at full capacity. Oh, God. 17 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,777 ADULT ADAM: Yep, no one was off the hook, day or night. 18 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:44,978 Incoming. 19 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,348 Gah... Mom! We're trying to watch a movie! 20 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,484 And what better movie snack than my triple-cream beef stew? 21 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,020 Oh, God. Please no. I have a major lactose intoler... 22 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,556 Ooh, that is rich in dairy. 23 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,991 (SNORING) 24 00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:00,027 Linguini and clams coming in. 25 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,362 Mmm. 26 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,697 (MUTTERING HAPPILY) 27 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,703 * I'm twisted up inside 28 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,207 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 29 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,044 * I don't know the future 30 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:21,182 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 31 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,751 ADULT ADAM: It was February 27th, 1980-something, 32 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,219 and my brother and I were busy 33 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,355 getting our daily dose of exercise. 34 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,690 Okay, kiddos. 35 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,493 Stop with your beep-boops and your lady-reading. 36 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,529 Your cousin is gonna be here any minute. 37 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,731 How exactly are we related to this schmo, again? 38 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,533 You know my mom's great-aunt Rose? ERICA: Who? 39 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,868 No. Already bored. 40 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,071 Well, Rose's sister Esther married Schmooly, 41 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,707 they had two sons, Freddie and Ivan, 42 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,709 who each married twin sisters. 43 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,144 So, he's not so much our cousin 44 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,612 as he is a total stranger. 45 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,013 Family is family. 46 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,615 Even if they're from the Old Country. 47 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,284 We live in modern times now. 48 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,952 How is a country still old? How? 49 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,289 That's exactly why I brought him to visit, 50 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,723 so you can get to know him 51 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,125 and ask him questions about life back in Russia. 52 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,627 Wait, he's Russian? 53 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,930 That means he's been bred since birth in a KGB lab 54 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,599 to destroy our wonderful democracy. 55 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,268 Sit down. He's not a spy, Barry. 56 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:17,538 He comes from a tiny village that barely has running water. 57 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,808 The floor of his home is dirt, for God's sake. 58 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,410 How does he know when he's done sweeping? 59 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,278 He never is. 60 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,414 Look, I think meeting Groiseh Gleb 61 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,782 is just what you kids need to get a little perspective. 62 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,050 Wait, what's his name? 63 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,452 Gleb. Are you saying Glen? 64 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,586 No, Gleb. 65 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,054 As in actress Glenn Close? 66 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,155 Gleb! 67 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,490 So, not Glenn Close. 68 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,592 We've got three Glebs in the family, 69 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,093 which is confusing, 70 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,896 so that's why everyone calls him Groiseh Gleb. 71 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,997 What's "groiseh" mean? 72 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:46,467 Groiseh means big and plump. 73 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,670 Trust me, you're gonna love Big Gleb. (LAUGHS) 74 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,040 Of the three Glebs, he's the funniest Gleb. 75 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,778 There he is. How ya been, Gleb? 76 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,280 (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Fine. 77 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,014 You just flew in from Kiev. 78 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,484 Boy, your arms must be tired. 79 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,919 Yes. My whole body's very tired. 80 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,088 You think this Gleb came instead of funny Gleb? 81 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,890 Bag? Take. 82 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,626 Whoa! That is dense. 83 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,296 So. Gleb. How are things? 84 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,664 GLEB: Hungry. 85 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,131 ERICA: Okey-dokey. 86 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,468 Is okay? 87 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,802 You're family. 88 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,671 Our plums are your plums. 89 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,939 Mmm. 90 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,341 So juicy. 91 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,709 Nothing like this back home. 92 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:32,813 And to think, you kids just take that plum for granted. 93 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,483 Uh-huh. How long's this dude gonna be here? 94 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,619 Two weeks. There's only so many fruits we can introduce him to. 95 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,489 We live in the birthplace of America. 96 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,791 Show the man around. 97 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,393 I'm gonna go get him a banana. 98 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,760 He'll go crazy. 99 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,997 ADULT ADAM: And just like that, we had to entertain 100 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,899 our Old Country cousin, Gleb. 101 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,302 While my mom was busy entertaining the Frentas 102 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,703 with a fancy brunch. 103 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,237 I mean, I knew Babs had range, 104 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,207 but watching her play a young male farmer? 105 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,009 I mean, transcendent. 106 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,545 Mmm-hmm. Oh, well, speaking of cookbooks... 107 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,814 Uh, no one's speaking of cookbooks, Beverly. 108 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,349 We were actually just talking about Yentl. 109 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,250 Yeah, well, now speaking of cookbooks, 110 00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,553 um, did I mention I'm writing a cookbook? 111 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,488 You mean the cookbook you've somehow managed to work into 112 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,856 every conversation in the last month? 113 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,257 That's probably the one, yes. 114 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,861 Well, I have been very busy cooking and taste-testing, 115 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,330 practicing my banter 116 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,064 for the inevitable big city book signings. 117 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,899 If you need any help with your book, 118 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,001 I can slip you my chicken piccata recipe. 119 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,269 I can help, too. 120 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,772 Sometimes I think my peanut-butter blondies 121 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,408 are the only thing my family respects about me. 122 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,177 They are, and that's so generous, but this is... 123 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,580 (CLICKS TONGUE) It's a Beverly Goldberg cookbook. 124 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,615 I swear to God, if you say the word "cookbook" one more time, 125 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,684 I'm gonna stab myself with this tiny jam spreader! 126 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,218 Me too! All you talk about 127 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,687 is that gosh darn cookbook 128 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,722 and how you're gonna be thick as thieves with Julia Child! 129 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,725 All I'm saying is that sometimes you just know 130 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,394 you're gonna be best friends with someone 131 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,029 before you meet them, and that's obviously very threatening 132 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,130 to the three of you. 133 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,899 Oh. It really is not! 134 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,701 It's just that when we all get together, 135 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,603 all you do is talk about cooking. 136 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,638 Or the Bevolution. Or you trying to be a lawyer. 137 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,106 Wow. 138 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,209 I was not prepared for that tsunami of jealousy 139 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,578 coming at me right now. 140 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,746 I'm sorry the rest of you don't have anything exciting 141 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,482 going on in your lives. 142 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,716 You know what? 143 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:16,917 I think you should go. 144 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,952 Go? It's my house! You go! 145 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,288 Oh, but before you go, which one of these 146 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,491 would look better on the front of my cookbook? 147 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,092 Unbelievable. You're the worst. 148 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,628 ADULT ADAM: As the Frentas ditched my mom, 149 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,831 we were doing our best to get to know our cousin. 150 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,199 Where's unfunny Gleb? 151 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:35,736 Outside opening and closing the garage door with the clicker. 152 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,671 On the plus side, it killed three hours. 153 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,107 Why are we stuck babysitting a complete stranger? 154 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,274 (GASPS) 155 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,243 Stranger. That's it! 156 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,978 ADULT ADAM: Yep, Barry's brilliant plan 157 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,114 was inspired by this '80s gem. 158 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,751 Cheggit! Looks like we got our very own Balki Bartokomous. 159 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,786 ERICA: he lovable foreign guy from Perfect Strangers? 160 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:53,954 Oh, yes. 161 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,524 And that makes the three of us Coe-sin Larry. 162 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,660 ADULT ADAM: Crazy as it seems, this was 100% true. 163 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,995 Just like the classic sitcom, we had a kooky cousin 164 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,664 from the Old Country living with us. 165 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,298 Only one question remained. 166 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,667 But what do we need a Balki for? 167 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,937 Hello? We got a dude who will do whatever we say 168 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,873 'cause he's trusting and unfamiliar with our ways. 169 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,141 Do what, exactly? 170 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,443 He's an adult man. 171 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,445 That means he can buy us beer 172 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,947 and rent us cars and co-sign loans. 173 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,014 The sky's the limit. 174 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,149 Come on. 175 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,618 Gleb won't just blindly do whatever we say. 176 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,353 Really? 177 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,822 For the past ten minutes, he's been listening to 178 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,324 that special cassette that cleans the tape deck. 179 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,694 Dude, using our childlike foreign relative 180 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,963 for our own selfish gain is crossing a line. 181 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,831 Not to mention, Perfect Strangers 182 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,733 is built on the flimsiest of premises. 183 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,302 You both make good points that are hard to ignore. 184 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,104 And yet, I will. 185 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,307 ADULT ADAM: And so Barry proceeded 186 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,643 to Perfect Stranger our cousin Gleb. 187 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:52,212 It just so happens, it was on the windiest day 188 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,147 in Philadelphia history. 189 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:57,551 * Sometimes the world looks perfect 190 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,521 * Nothing to rearrange 191 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:04,157 * Sometimes you just get a feeling 192 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:08,529 * Like you need some kind of change 193 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,899 * No matter what the odds are this time Whoo-hoo! 194 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,267 * Nothing's gonna stand in my way 195 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,069 * This flame in my heart 196 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,771 * Like a long-lost friend 197 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:21,509 * Gives every dark street a light at the end 198 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,043 Don't move. 199 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,713 * Standing tall 200 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,848 So, you are using him as your Balki 201 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,249 even though we told you not to? 202 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,184 I am. Looks kinda fun. 203 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,285 It is. 204 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,623 * Standing tall 205 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:39,126 * On the wings of my dream 206 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,061 * The rain and thunder 207 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,763 * The wind and haze 208 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,066 * I'm bound for better days 209 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,703 * It's my life, my dream 210 00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:53,306 * And nothing's gonna stop me now * 211 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,275 ADULT ADAM: Hanging with Gleb turned out to be a real hoot. 212 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,376 Aah! 213 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,745 As for my mom, she was ready 214 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,146 to make a real apology. 215 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,983 Ladies, thank you for coming here today. 216 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,786 I know things got a bit tense at our last brunch, 217 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,289 but everything's made better with tea and babka. 218 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,390 Babka does help. 219 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,825 (WOMEN CHUCKLE) 220 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,094 Look, you guys are my dearest friends, 221 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,764 and I don't want you thinking that I can't go 222 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,066 ten seconds without talking about myself. 223 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,068 Well, it's only every 30 seconds. 224 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,336 (WOMEN SNICKER) (CHUCKLES) 225 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,005 Oh, come on. 226 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,007 You all know I can go at least 30 minutes. 227 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,275 (LAUGHTER) 228 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,110 What? I can. 229 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,412 I'll tell ya what. If you can go ten minutes 230 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,782 without making a single reference to yourself... 231 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,949 Your kids. Your opinions. 232 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,085 Your sweaters. Your couponing expertise. 233 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,252 How Farrah Fawcett stole your look. 234 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,320 Your matchmaking. 235 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,622 Let's not forget about the cookbook. 236 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,456 Then you'll have proven us wrong. 237 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,760 And what happens when I immediately prove you all wrong? 238 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,596 Well, then, we will admit you're right, 239 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,497 and then for the next ten brunches, 240 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,365 all we'll do is talk about you. 241 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,034 That's my dream. 242 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,169 Challenge accepted, suckas. 243 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,504 (LAUGHS) Go! 244 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,473 ADULT ADAM: And so began my mom's epic journey to listen. 245 00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,541 Yeah. 246 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,276 Turns out, it was hard. 247 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,446 Mm. Mm-hmm. She endured stories about other people's kids... 248 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,815 (LAUGHS) 249 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,850 ...other people's opinions, 250 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,419 other people's lives... 251 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,454 I'm just gonna stretch. You guys keep talking. 252 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,324 ...and the hardest of all, other people's cooking. 253 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,827 ...when Chad said that my chicken was dry. 254 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,861 Cookbook! 255 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,396 Cookbook! 256 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,532 Oh, I have a cookbook with so many recipes 257 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,968 that Chad would like more than your bone-dry chicken! 258 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,270 Also, Adam went to a sci-fi convention, 259 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,705 and Barry's applying to Penn, 260 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,006 and Erica, there's not much going on there, 261 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,241 but she's still a beautiful angel 262 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,508 and so much better than your kids, 263 00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,844 and, oh, my God, that felt so good. 264 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:37,978 And you lose. 265 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,379 Come on. 266 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,981 That had to have been at least nine minutes. 267 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,049 It was two. 268 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,383 Oh, speaking of telling time, 269 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,485 you know, Murray got me this new Swatch for our anniversary. 270 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,754 Okay. We're gonna go now. 271 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,288 No. Double or nothing? 272 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,690 Fine. Go. 273 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,359 Farrah did steal my look! 274 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,197 ADULT ADAM: We had Perfect Stranger -ed our distant cousin Gleb, 275 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,699 and it was all working out perfectly. 276 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,400 At least, we thought it was. 277 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,703 So, how's it going with your cousin? 278 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,837 Aces. So great. 279 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,907 We've been having a blast showing Gleb around. 280 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,742 Like yesterday, he was dying 281 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,344 to drive me to the Starlog Convention in Jersey. 282 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,380 Oh, and today, he insisted 283 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,515 on renting me a shore house for the summer. 284 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,051 He's the coolest barely-cousin I've ever had. 285 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,552 No! Is lies! 286 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,589 They treat me like idiot and use me for your personal gain. 287 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,993 The sweaty boy make me buy crossbow. 288 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,095 Crossbow? You can't have that! 289 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,363 Ah, according to this license, I can. 290 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,733 Lady sister make me rent beach house 291 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,302 so can party like NBA star. 292 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,038 And tiny one make me drive him 293 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,708 to American virgin space festival. 294 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,275 I'm just gonna assume there's something 295 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,811 lost in translation here. 296 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,979 You raise spoiled children 297 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:50,951 who make me be Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Stranger TV show. 298 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,886 You get Perfect Strangers in the Old Country? 299 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,987 Nyet! 300 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,789 You play it in front of me 301 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,358 and say your plan out loud, like fools! 302 00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,592 That, we did. 303 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,528 What is wrong with you? 304 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,663 You were supposed to get to know him. 305 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,232 In our defense, our time together 306 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,267 was packed with kooky misadventures 307 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,902 and we had very little time to dig in. 308 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,270 Oh, my God. 309 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,639 He came all this way to America. 310 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,274 Show him America. 311 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,509 ADULT ADAM: And show him, we did. 312 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,146 (TIRES SCREECH) We jetted off for a day of bonding with Coe-sin Gleb. 313 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,348 (HORN HONKS) We knew the guy had a thing for fresh fruit, 314 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,950 so we began at the Baederwood Market. 315 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,252 It made him happy. 316 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,955 Next, we took Gleb to see the latest Rocky movie. 317 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,522 I must break you. 318 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,791 ADULT ADAM: But the Russian lost. 319 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,192 It made him sad. 320 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,661 So, to cheer up funny Gleb, 321 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,496 we figured we'd introduce him to America's 322 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,000 favorite Russian comedian of the '80s. Yakov Smirnoff. 323 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,002 Good thing about doing comedy in Russia, 324 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,771 you have captured audience. 325 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,238 (LAUGHTER) 326 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,507 ADULT ADAM: Unfortunately, Gleb found his act a little too real. 327 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,476 What's going on? 328 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,112 I thought you were out showing Gleb the town. 329 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,714 No! First they show me Rocky IV, 330 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,817 then they force me to listen to man 331 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,019 who make fun of horrors of the past. 332 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,154 Why? Is no humor! 333 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,722 Okay, well, when he puts it like that, 334 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,724 it sounds like we're not good family members. 335 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,896 Albert, your children's children are people of garbage. 336 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,198 I have to say I agree. 337 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,500 All I wanted was to give you everything 338 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,803 my family never had. 339 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,671 But all I did was spoil you rotten. 340 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,041 You got to be very careful of what jokes you say. 341 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,810 If you say, like, "Take my wife, please," 342 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,544 you get home, she's gone. 343 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:25,879 (LAUGHTER) 344 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,684 Bev! Oh, wow! 345 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,253 You're here! Hello! 346 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,387 Hey, Ginzy. 347 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,423 Just thought I'd pop by and return your Cuisinart. 348 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,624 Oh, no. Keep it. It's yours forever. 349 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,426 Have a nice day. BEVERLY: What? 350 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,594 You're brunching. 351 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,196 Without me? 352 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,231 We can explain. 353 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,934 Yes. 354 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,902 Okay, you know what? It's fine. 355 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,339 Words were said, feelings were hurt, 356 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,507 but I am a big enough person 357 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,443 to pretend that none of this has ever happened. 358 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,078 Sorry, seat's taken. 359 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,679 ADULT ADAM: But this happened. 360 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,382 The Frentas replaced my mom with another yenta. 361 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,117 Oh, for God's sakes. 362 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,454 You invited Eileen Leffler instead of me? 363 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,290 We just want a friend who doesn't only talk about herself. 364 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,693 And she listens to us and even asks follow-up questions. 365 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,795 Here's a follow-up question, Linda. 366 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,965 Not a lot of people came to your New Year's party, 367 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,399 and I felt bad for you. 368 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,134 That is not a question. 369 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,435 It's a hurtful statement. 370 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,937 I cannot believe you just thought 371 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,105 you were gonna replace me. 372 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,107 No one is replacing anyone. 373 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,641 There's room for five Frentas. 374 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,044 Well, there's only four drying stations at the salon. 375 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,812 What, someone's gonna sit at the end 376 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,614 with a towel on her head, like a chump? 377 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,549 I thought we would just take turns. 378 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:41,288 Look, you are my dearest and closest friends, 379 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,623 and I love you so much, 380 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,926 but right now you're acting like a bunch of (BLEEP). 381 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,428 Oh. Okay, if I may pipe in here. 382 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,364 Beverly, I truly admire you, 383 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,067 and I think you are an amazing woman, 384 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,904 but it seems like you're acting like the (BLEEP) here. 385 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,438 How dare you? 386 00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,572 Wow! 387 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,774 The potty mouth on this one! 388 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,511 Huh? That's who you wanna replace me with? 389 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,612 Hmm. 390 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,314 Well, (BLEEP) 391 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,150 ADULT ADAM: And so my mom swore off the Frentas forever. 392 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,352 Meanwhile, Pops had taken it upon himself 393 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,355 to show just how spoiled his grandkids had become. 394 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,623 What the hell? 395 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,658 Why is Gleb wearing my Flyers shirt? 396 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,028 Forget your dumb shirt. Why does he have my Caboodle? 397 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,762 You mean Gleb's Caboodle. 398 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,298 Is perfect for storing beets and cabbage. 399 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,833 I've decided to take everything 400 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,368 I've ever bought you 401 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,937 and give it to Gleb. What? 402 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,304 No way! But it's our stuff! 403 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,640 But Gleb actually appreciates it 404 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,808 and, frankly, needs it more than you. 405 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,110 He needs my Chairry? 406 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,378 He can't have my keytar. 407 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,447 Gleb needs my Nintendo Power Pad? 408 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,881 You mean Nintendo blanket. 409 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,183 This is crazy! 410 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,018 What's he gonna do with a lacrosse stick? 411 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,819 Is perfect for scooping up rodent 412 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,288 or fighting bat. 413 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,522 Not cool, Pops! 414 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,960 He can't just take my "WKRP in Cincinnati" record player! 415 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,361 Is not for making pancake? 416 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,197 No. It's for living out radio workplace fantasies. 417 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,665 And if I have to explain that to you, 418 00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,866 it's clear you don't deserve it. 419 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,334 He deserves it more than you. 420 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,537 Okay, I think if we just calm down and take a breath, 421 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,907 we'd all realize that Gleb can't take my GI Joe Space Shuttle 422 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,542 and Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker! 423 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,444 I need those to live! 424 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,046 I think that's the problem. 425 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,714 Fine! We admit it. 426 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,717 We're selfish kids and we don't know how good we got it. 427 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,054 Now give me back my WWF Wrestling Ring, 428 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:24,057 or I will cry right here, right now. 429 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,725 You learned nothing. 430 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,062 All I wanted to do was show you kids where I came from. 431 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:32,065 It was my fault for thinking you'd care. 432 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,203 Here. Take your dog snow machine. 433 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,870 We have plenty of snow in Russia. 434 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,206 ADULT ADAM: Pops was right. 435 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,573 We really did need to take a long, 436 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,242 hard look at ourselves. 437 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,677 Meanwhile, my mom was looking for some new friends. 438 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,380 Hey, there's my Mentas! 439 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,349 Mentas? Mentas. 440 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,883 You know, men yentas 441 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,019 who are friends also. 442 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,086 I just coined it. 443 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,187 Well, un-coin it. 444 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,955 What are you doing at Bill's house? 445 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,924 Sure, I'd love to hang out with you. 446 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,459 Thanks. (CLEARS THROAT) 447 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,595 So... (CHUCKLES) 448 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,064 What's on tap for today? 449 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,465 Watching the big sports event? 450 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,566 Terrible game. 451 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,700 It's unwatchable. 452 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:08,935 Maybe we should have brunch. 453 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,103 You boys look hungry. 454 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,139 Got it covered. Wing helmet. 455 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,240 I think I'll pass. 456 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,307 More for us. 457 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,742 So, this is your entire day, huh? 458 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,778 Sure. Sitting on your ass, eating helmet wings? 459 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,547 Sure. That's what Bill wanted. 460 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,914 It is his birthday and all. 461 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,816 For God's sakes, it's his birthday? 462 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,685 Did you at least get him a gift? 463 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,720 Of course he did. Wing helmet. 464 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,156 Show her the wing helmet again, Mur. 465 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,757 I don't think she got a close enough look. 466 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:33,326 Wing helmet. I've seen the wing helmet. 467 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,063 Hey, what's going on here? It's Sunday. 468 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,330 Why aren't you out eating quiche 469 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,632 with the ladies who walk in front of my TV? 470 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,335 You know, the ones whose, uh, hair shadows I see in the dining room. 471 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,737 I know who you mean. 472 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:49,676 And they don't wanna see me 'cause they said I'm selfish. 473 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,444 And they're right. 474 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,313 I've been a bad friend. 475 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,949 Enjoy your game. 476 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,886 Sorry to bother you. 477 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,122 Oh, boy. 478 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,259 ADULT ADAM: The Frentas called out my mom for being selfish. 479 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,628 Luckily, Beverly had a Menta in her corner. 480 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,363 Ladies, it seems we have a visitor. 481 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,998 This will only take a second. 482 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,202 Uh, Marcie, Shelly, Tabitha... 483 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,769 Um, I'm sorry, I forgot your name. 484 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,438 You've actually forgotten all our names. 485 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,540 And if Beverly sent you, you can tell her... 486 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:21,841 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 487 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,276 She did not send me. 488 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,312 I came on my own to let you guys know 489 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,846 what a great friend she is. 490 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,481 Who only wants to talk about herself. 491 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:32,219 Yes. But to me, she only talks about you guys. 492 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,522 Murray, it's sweet you're here and honestly surprising 493 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,591 to see you out of your chair, but we know it's not true. 494 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,892 Oh, but it is true. 495 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,162 She was so jazzed when Jimothy 496 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,063 won that Flower Grower of the Year Award. 497 00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,199 It's Charles, and, um, when I mentioned it to her, 498 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,667 she didn't seem to care. 499 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,569 But she does care. 500 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,004 And you, uh, Cindy? 501 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,340 Your place in Florida? 502 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,642 She's doing everything she can to get me down there. 503 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,210 It's Essie. And really? 504 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,445 And you, Patty, 505 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,248 she cannot stop talking about your son Stevie 506 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,717 and how he can go to any Ivy League School that he wants. 507 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,919 It's Geoff. But that's sweet. 508 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,422 Look, I know she talks a lot about her family. 509 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:12,024 But to her, you're family. 510 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,063 Wow. 511 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,898 What's all this? 512 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,634 Well, we were hoping you might like a little brunch. 513 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,870 But you don't need me. 514 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:27,207 And why would you? I haven't been there for you. 515 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,108 And I know I always talk about my life, 516 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:34,947 but it's just because I envy you all in so many ways. 517 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,217 I just want to be as amazing as you are. 518 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,652 No. You are amazing. 519 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,053 Now, I don't know if you've heard, 520 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,622 but you're writing a cookbook. 521 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,257 Everybody's talking about it. 522 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,126 Well, good. 523 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,862 Because I'm gonna need those recipes you offered up. 524 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,898 I'm gonna put them front and center. 525 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,400 Really? 526 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,235 Of course. 527 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,238 I mean, yes, it's a Beverly Goldberg Cookbook, 528 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:01,541 but who's Beverly Goldberg without her Frentas? 529 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,544 ADULT ADAM: With that, my mom got her best friends back. 530 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,246 All it took was a little help 531 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,080 from the most unlikely of places. 532 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:11,117 Thanks to my dad, the Frentas finally realized 533 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,587 that when it came to my mom, they were family, too. 534 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,557 Wow. Is that you? 535 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,891 Doesn't matter. 536 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,293 No, it does. 537 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,428 You're right. 538 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,929 We're stupid and selfish 539 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,598 and have no idea how good we have it. 540 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:29,269 Look, I didn't want you to feel bad about what you have, 541 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:34,140 but we all dreamed of coming here to start a new life. 542 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,009 Well, we really are grateful that we have a grandfather 543 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,678 who was brave enough to go look for one. 544 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,947 Thank you. 545 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,183 But I'm not the one you have to apologize to. 546 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,456 ADULT ADAM: In the end, sometimes the best way to say you're sorry 547 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,224 is to start over. 548 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,593 You're packing? 549 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,462 But your trip's not over for another week. 550 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,864 I think is nothing to see here. 551 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:00,132 You may be wrong about that. 552 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,703 Is tickets? 553 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,472 To the Phillies game. 554 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:08,675 We wanted to show you America can be pretty awesome. 555 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,110 * Standing tall 556 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:14,281 * On the wings of my dream 557 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,516 ADULT ADAM: Gleb ended up having the best trip of his life. 558 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,650 And 'cause of Pops, 559 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,987 we made memories that would last a lifetime. 560 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,622 That's the thing about family. 561 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,856 You'll find that if you just 562 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,157 take the time to get to know them, 563 00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,594 they can go from being perfect strangers 564 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,228 to people you really love. 565 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,532 * It's my life, my dream 566 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,569 * Nothing's gonna stop me now * 567 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:44,777 (DING) 568 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,680 (DING) 569 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,883 This American fashion make no sense. 570 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,585 Those are Z Cavariccis. 571 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,587 They're the coolest in trouser technology. 572 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,889 But why must there be two belts? 573 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,592 'Cause two is always better than one. 574 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,994 Just like wings on an airplane or a Twix. 575 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,064 Gleb not sure he can pull off LL Cool J hat. 576 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,400 Oh, you will with these bad boys. 577 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,037 But you see much less with these. 578 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,372 It's not about seeing. 579 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:13,906 It's about being seen. 580 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,274 It seems like ugly fad 581 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,344 which will not stand test of time, yes? 582 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:22,382 Trust us, G, the way you look right now will always be cool. 583 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,716 Always. 584 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,453 BARRY: There we go.