1 00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:04,526 ADULT ADAM: The '80s marked the rise of the cooking show. 2 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,963 There was Yan, The Galloping Gourmet, 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,140 the Cajun cook, and, of course, a Swedish Muppet. 4 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,013 But my mom's lifelong hero was Julia Child. 5 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,492 I'm Julia Child. 6 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,103 ADULT ADAM: Julia's show, The French Chef, 7 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:18,192 was the inspiration for our family's 8 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:21,064 deliciously cheesy "French phase." 9 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,762 BEVERLY: For Erica, savory Quiche Lorraine. 10 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,895 For Murray, melty cheese fondue. 11 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:29,072 It's like nachos without the hassle. 12 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:33,120 And for my hungry bear, potatoes au gratin, extra gratin. 13 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,123 This is gonna wreck me. Thanks, Mom. 14 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,689 ADULT ADAM: Julia even inspired my mom to write 15 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,256 The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook. 16 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,345 She sent it to every publisher in town, 17 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:44,261 confident that she'd take the cooking world by storm. 18 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,436 Or... Not. 19 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,308 Aw, honey, what's wrong? 20 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,874 Nothing. 21 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,963 I'm just tearing up 'cause Julia's chopping an onion. 22 00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:54,097 You do know that that onion is on TV, right? 23 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,317 [VOICE BREAKING] Okay, fine! [SNIFFLES] 24 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,014 It's my cookbook. 25 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,103 I sent it out to some publishers, 26 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:03,324 and they said I was poop and that my cooking was poop 27 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,587 and that my one and only dream is poop! 28 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,328 No one has just one dream, Bevy. 29 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,373 I'm sure you got plenty of others. 30 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:11,158 [SNIFFS] Well, like Barry becomes a doctor, 31 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,812 Erica wins a Grammy, Adam gets a rare disease 32 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,162 that prevents his snuggly little body 33 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,381 from developing into a full adult man. 34 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:20,036 Bev, none of those dreams are about you, 35 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,517 and one in particular is very troubling. 36 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,954 Damn it, I know! Erica's never gonna win a Grammy! 37 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:27,391 Okay, I'm sure it's not as bad as ya think. 38 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:28,740 Lemme see that letter. 39 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,438 Take your pick. 40 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:34,181 "Dear Ms. Goldberg, your blending of fish and veal 41 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:37,358 "is both upsetting and against God's plan." 42 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,143 [SOBBING] 43 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,276 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 44 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,148 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 45 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,848 ♪ I don't know the future 46 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:53,504 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 47 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,898 ADULT ADAM: It was March 13th, 1980-something, 48 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,422 and my brother had a new concern about his future. 49 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,512 Listen up. I've got some deeply upsetting news, JTP. 50 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,993 ALL: JTP! No! Not the time. 51 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,516 Mr. Glascott just called 52 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,388 an emergency college meeting with me 53 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,954 by chasing me down the hall. 54 00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,304 Oh, no. What's wrong? 55 00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,523 Turns out, we all need recommendation letters 56 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,395 from teachers to get into college. 57 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:15,831 And? 58 00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,616 Wait, you all knew about this and didn't tell me? 59 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,009 I tried to tell you, but you said... 60 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,968 Stop speaking, Matt Bradley! Yeah, that e-exactly. 61 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,622 Seriously, you all have 'em? 62 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,190 Definitely to rub it in your face, but Geoff got 12 reccos. 63 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,888 Twelve? That's almost a baker's dozen! 64 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,673 Gimme one. 65 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,631 I'll just open it and change the name from Geoff to Big Tasty. 66 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,633 ALL: No! What's the big deal? 67 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157 Bar, those letters were written about me. 68 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,419 And they need to be sent in sealed 69 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,160 so the admissions people know they're legit. 70 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,683 So, you're saying I'm going to actually 71 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:44,207 have to ask a teacher to write nice stuff about me? 72 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,904 Ha! You're not going to college. 73 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,471 College-what? Who said college? 74 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:48,690 Whoa, where'd he come from? 75 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,605 For a big man, he moves like a phantom. 76 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,041 Because college is the only thing that matters to me... 77 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,347 That and the thermostat. 78 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,132 Okay, don't freak out and call me a moron, 79 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,918 but I've apparently thus far failed to "obtain" 80 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:05,359 a "recommendation letter" from a "teacher" at "school." 81 00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,926 Stop with the quotes. My God, I raised a moron. 82 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,798 You have. "This is your fault." 83 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,452 ADULT ADAM: Luckily, our school had 84 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,888 an insanely nice science teacher 85 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,063 who couldn't say no to anyone. 86 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,412 Dr. Katman? Down here! 87 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,414 Oh, no! 88 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,894 You're lying on a bed of nails! 89 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:21,636 Physics is just so bitchin'! Am I right? 90 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,333 [LAUGHS] Wanna try? 91 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,206 Mmm. Well anyway, I know this is last minute, 92 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,642 but apparently you gotta have a teacher 93 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:30,558 write you a college rec...Aw, buddy! 94 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:33,474 I am so honored you asked me. Truly, man! 95 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,258 Really? Call me a proton! 96 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,217 That's how positive I am! 97 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,610 Dude, I really owe you one!Stop. 98 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:43,092 Just like a neutron, there's no charge. [LAUGHS] 99 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,486 And also please don't put any of those jokes in my letter. 100 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,531 ADULT ADAM: With that, Barry's problem was solved. 101 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:50,621 And after all my mom's rejection letters, 102 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,971 she turned to her hero, Julia Child, for answers. 103 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,451 Adam, I need your help. 104 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,975 This is a legitimate, real emergency. 105 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,760 Oh, my God, what? 106 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:03,068 I've thought of a super-easy, foolproof way to sell my book. 107 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,983 I'm gonna do a cooking show like Julia Child, 108 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:08,204 and you are gonna be my director and my on-camera sidekick. 109 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,423 I didn't follow any of that, 110 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,642 but I'm pretty sure it's not an emergency. 111 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,428 You know, at first, the rejection letters were devastating, 112 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:17,692 but then I remembered that Julia didn't become famous 113 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:20,303 'til she was 50 and had her own cooking show! 114 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,305 Huh? That's where you come in. 115 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:23,654 Or go out as fast as I can 116 00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,221 'cause what you just said is horrifying. 117 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,658 But this is so up your alley, Adam. 118 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,573 You're always running around with a video camera. 119 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,663 Me? Nah, that's like the opposite of what I do. 120 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,578 You got a camera in your hand right now. 121 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,319 Good eye! [CHUCKLES] Good eye. 122 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,799 Thing is, I was just about to 123 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,410 put this in the garage 'cause making childish movies 124 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,759 just doesn't appeal to me anymore. 125 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,805 Let's start filming, kiddo. 126 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:47,417 This karate tortoise outfit is already making me schvitz. 127 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:50,202 Okay, fine! I still make awesome movies! 128 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:52,814 But I honestly don't know the first thing about making a cooking show. 129 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:56,992 ADAM: It's The Chadam Cooking Hour: episode 140! 130 00:04:57,035 --> 00:05:00,822 Okay, fine! I made six years' worth of cooking shows! 131 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,476 Doesn't mean I can help you! 132 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,826 Adam, please. Be my cooking sidekick. 133 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,306 It's my dream. 134 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,917 Adam, I saw the rejection letters! 135 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,353 It was too much! 136 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,182 Just help the lady with her dream! 137 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,576 Even if I wanted to help, I don't run a TV station. 138 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,186 I'm just a kid with a camera. 139 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,014 What about public access? 140 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,016 They'll let anyone on there. 141 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:25,499 I watch this one program where a lady answers tax questions in a bikini. 142 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,197 Her information is definitely wrong, 143 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,721 but I'm a loyal viewer. BEVERLY: Perfect. 144 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,984 I'm gonna call public access and verbally harass 145 00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:34,421 the first person who picks up 146 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,074 and tell them that we are coming down there! 147 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,815 We're gonna be TV stars! 148 00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:40,731 ADULT ADAM: While I was facing a world of embarrassment, 149 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,647 Barry was ready to rub his recco letter in Erica's face. 150 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,954 Hey, my Caboodle! Erica's Caboodle! 151 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:47,477 BARRY: Silence! 152 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:51,394 In my hand, I hold a glowing recco from Dr. Katman. 153 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,396 Oh, man, what a relief! Yeah. 154 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,180 Feels good to know I'm not gonna be 155 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:58,445 a full-time drain on society like your miserable couch sloth of a girlfriend. 156 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:01,622 Excuse me? You've worn sweats for six straight days. 157 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,450 You get it. Well, I wouldn't be so cocky. 158 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,626 You don't even know what that teacher wrote about you. 159 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,324 I'm sure it's great. Dr. Katman's super nice and also, 160 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,978 he has, like, the most hilarious science jokes. 161 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,415 They guy's nice, all right. If anything, too nice. 162 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,417 The kind of nice you almost don't trust. 163 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,462 It's like, "What are you hiding, man?" 164 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,899 It is like he's hiding something. 165 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,074 Erica, stop. 166 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,728 Don't whip him into a frenzy 167 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:23,687 just because he commented on your current life situation. 168 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,776 I'm not. I'm just stating the simple fact 169 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,561 that one single letter can ruin his life forever. 170 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,214 I gotta see what's in this letter! 171 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,781 Barry, stop. You can't look at that. 172 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,392 Wait, I got something. 173 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:33,871 What's "poosnicken" mean? 174 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,264 Is that good from an educator? 175 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,483 Doesn't sound good. 176 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,006 Ta. 177 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,529 [MUMBLING] Couch sloth my ass. 178 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:42,053 Dude, she's just messing with you 'cause she's in a bad place. 179 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,359 Yeah, I know. You're right. 180 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,144 And yet, it's too late. I assumed. 181 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:49,191 ADULT ADAM: And so, Barry broke the sacred code of the recco letter 182 00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,933 using a high-tech method he learned from watching Murder, She Wrote. 183 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,022 Oh, crap! It worked! 184 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:56,590 "It is a great honor and privilege to give 185 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,549 "Barry Goldberg my highest recommendation." 186 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,160 Uh, Bar? The steam is making the ink run! 187 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,771 Don't panic! We'll just dry it off with the iron. 188 00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:05,512 [SIZZLING] 189 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:08,036 Oh, no! The iron's intense heat is burning the paper! 190 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:11,082 Don't panic. I'll just spray it with water from this bottle. 191 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,433 Oh, no! The charred remnants are soaked, 192 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,130 and now the ink's running even more! 193 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,958 Don't panic! I'll just hit it with the iron again! 194 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,481 [SIZZLING] 195 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,743 Let me try to piece it back together! 196 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,658 Time to panic! Aah! Aah! 197 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,573 The charred remnants are burning my hands! 198 00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:25,445 ADULT ADAM: While Barry destroyed his letter, 199 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,883 my mom was taking a page from Julia Child for our first rehearsal. 200 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,015 And action. 201 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,800 Hi, I'm Adam. 202 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,671 [IMITATING JULIA CHILD] Hello! I'm Beverly Goldberg. 203 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,281 Welcome to The Goldberg Gourmet. 204 00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,501 Bon appetit! 205 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,763 And cut. 206 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:42,984 Okay, I got some performance notes. 207 00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:46,074 [NORMAL VOICE] Hit me. So, you're a human person. 208 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,858 So, you should talk like one. 209 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,861 And action. 210 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,472 [IMITATING JULIA CHILD] Well, hello!Cut. 211 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,951 Hello! Cut. 212 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,345 Hello, I'm Beverly Goldberg... Cut! 213 00:07:56,388 --> 00:08:00,088 Welcome to The Goldberg Gourmet. Bon appetit. 214 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,481 And... Cut. 215 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,308 I think I know what's happening. 216 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,397 Seems whenever I say "action," 217 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,183 your mom panics and becomes Julia Child. 218 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,794 [NORMAL VOICE] Oh, don't be ridiculous! Here, I'll prove it. 219 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,536 Say "action" and watch me cook.Action. 220 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,538 [IMITATING JULIA CHILD] This lovely dish is made 221 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,193 with saltwater prawns, Parmesan cheese, 222 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:20,282 and butter because butter is better! 223 00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,458 I'm Julia Child! Cut. 224 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,329 [NORMAL VOICE] Okay, maybe I am doing a little something. 225 00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,809 And I'm doing a lot of quitting. 226 00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,332 Good luck with your project.Wait, why? 227 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,726 'Cause you're gonna embarrass me on public television, 228 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:30,988 seen by dozens. 229 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,990 And it doesn't matter to you that this might 230 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:35,210 actually help sell my cookbook?No! 231 00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:38,126 'Cause my mom making a cookbook is also embarrassing, 232 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:41,782 and so are your aprons and weird parm dishes and everything about you. 233 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,697 It's pure embarrassment, 234 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,960 and you have no idea what it feels like. 235 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,353 Oh-ho, and you think I'm never embarrassed by you? 236 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,051 Um, no! 237 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,096 I think you made it pretty clear you love everything that I do. 238 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,577 So, you don't think I'm embarrassed when I have friends over, 239 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,580 and you do one of your creepy shows with a ventriloquist dummy? 240 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,582 You bought us matching outfits! 241 00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,236 And you don't think I was embarrassed 242 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,934 to watch a three-hour one-man show 243 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,894 where you played an eclectic cast of international characters? 244 00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,853 [JAMAICAN ACCENT] You said my Jamaican accent was spot-on, mon! 245 00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,115 And you don't think I was embarrassed 246 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,988 to run down to your school with an extra pair of pants 247 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:17,252 because of the thing I promised never to speak about? 248 00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,427 [GASPS] 249 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,385 [NORMAL VOICE] Promise broken! 250 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,475 Baby, you are ten thousand times more embarrassing than I will ever be, 251 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,739 but it doesn't matter because I love you more than anything! 252 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:28,698 Clearly, you don't feel the same way. 253 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:33,660 And cut! 254 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,704 Come on. 255 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,839 ADULT ADAM: Even though Barry torched his college recco, 256 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:41,450 he knew Doc would be more than happy to write him a new one. 257 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:44,409 Hey, Doc! Got a sec? Of course, Goldie! 258 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,281 A little time for my star student. 259 00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:50,328 But first, let me wet the ole whistle with some wine. 260 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,287 Oh, you say this is just water. 261 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,636 I didn't say anything. 262 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:58,293 [LAUGHS] 263 00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,599 A toast to you! 264 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,991 Fun. 265 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,558 So, what's the important news? I'm excited. 266 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,821 You should be. Remember that letter you wrote me? 267 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,823 Of course. Your college recommendation letter. 268 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,695 Yeah, that's the one. 269 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,697 Turns out, I read it against your wishes 270 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,307 and destroyed it with fire and water. 271 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,961 But you're gonna write me a new one 272 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,006 'cause you did say I'm your star student. 273 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,356 It doesn't feel like that anymore, pal. 274 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,837 Wow, I'm like really mad right now. 275 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,360 I understand why you would be, 276 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:25,233 but I'm very confused by your smile and cheery tone. 277 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,538 Well, let me clear it up. 278 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:29,063 I'm really pissed, and I'm not gonna write [BLEEP] for you, 279 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,891 because what you did was really [BLEEP] up. 280 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,197 But I still need a recco for college. 281 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,547 I'd ask another teacher, pal. I wish you all the best. 282 00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,071 Uh-oh. Yeah, uh-oh! 283 00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,116 You better go because I'm saying words 284 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,814 that I never thought I would say to a child! 285 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,468 [BLEEP] [BLEEP] 286 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,079 Hey, man, you okay? 287 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,950 You've barely touched your Fruit Roll-Up finger. 288 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,039 Eh. Last night, I got into it with my mom, 289 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,040 and she kinda got in my head. 290 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,390 How? 291 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,783 Do you guys think I'm embarrassing? 292 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:56,046 [CLEARS THROAT] 293 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,311 Oh, balls! You're all avoiding eye contact! 294 00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,097 Bro, I think it's pretty well-known that you're... Unique. 295 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,838 I'd say one of a kind. Your own man. 296 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,667 Those are just nice ways of saying I'm super embarrassing! 297 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,494 What's up? 298 00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:11,932 Adam's mom caved and finally admitted the kid's an embarrassment. 299 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,411 Oh, sure. What? 300 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,718 You're my girlfriend! You're aware of this, too? 301 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,155 It's endearing. [EXHALES SHARPLY] Aww... 302 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,288 Also... [ANGRILY] Aw! 303 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:23,204 How can my own mother protect and praise me with a lifetime of lies? 304 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,206 So, you're saying she's a bad mom 305 00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,861 for accepting the humiliation you bring her with grace and kindness? 306 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:31,038 Yes! God, I suck! 307 00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,649 For the first time ever, my mom needed me to support her, 308 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,346 and I flat-out said no. 309 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,131 Well, there has to be some way you can make it right. 310 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,437 It's obvious! 311 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,223 I'll just co-host a public access cooking show with her! 312 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,964 Not sure how obvious that was. 313 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,748 My mom wants to be the darling of the food world 314 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:46,923 who sells millions of cookbooks, 315 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:50,057 and I will not rest until it happens! 316 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,276 As I was off to help my mom with her TV dreams, 317 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,626 Barry was on a mission for a new recco. 318 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,193 All right, before I do, 319 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,934 let's just take a look at some of the work 320 00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:59,283 you did this year in my class. 321 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:00,807 What is this? 322 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,199 That's my napkin holder. 323 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,027 And this? 324 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,203 That's a shoe holder, for the holding of shoes. 325 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,378 What exactly is this? 326 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:08,989 Bird house. 327 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,382 And where exactly would a bird live? 328 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:15,430 On top of it. Or it could lie down here or walk around over here. 329 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,694 Thank you for your time. 330 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,000 You were stage crew for two days 331 00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,958 and dropped a chandelier on my head. 332 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,220 Thank you for your time. 333 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,962 In order to save you time and energy, 334 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,486 I've written the recommendation letter myself. 335 00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,315 If you could just sign it... "Barry Goldberg can squat a baby elephant 336 00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:34,405 "and bench 275 an unlimited number of times." 337 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,930 Uh-huh. Just right at the bottom there... 338 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,236 Tell you what, if you can do one pull up, 339 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,978 I'll sign this letter and walk it to the college myself. 340 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,372 ♪♪ 341 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,899 Thank you for your time. 342 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:52,859 Well, you can't just give up. 343 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,731 You need a good recco to get into...Shh! 344 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,733 [WHISPERING] Don't say that word 'cause Dad will hear. 345 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,780 Oh, man, I've sunk so low that I've stopped my own brother 346 00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:01,998 from getting into... [MOUTHS] 347 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,435 [NORMAL VOICE] No! I destroyed the letter. 348 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,873 This whole [MOUTHS] mess is my fault. 349 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,613 I only convinced you that Doc wrote you 350 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,355 a bad [MOUTHS] recco 'cause I was jealous. 351 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:13,053 'Cause I'm going to [MOUTHS]? 352 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,184 Yes! 353 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:17,274 You're about to go on a wild [MOUTHS] adventure. 354 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,668 I know I thought that dropping out of [MOUTHS] 355 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,975 was the right move, but I'm realizing that 356 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,847 I really needed [MOUTHS] to grow up a bit. 357 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,545 Look, I know you're freaking out about your future, 358 00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:28,895 but if anyone's gonna be a rock star, 359 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,983 it's my rock star sister. 360 00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:32,289 That means a lot. 361 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,943 I'm sorry I've been such a jerk. 362 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,292 It's cool. 363 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:37,207 Everyone stresses out when it comes to college. 364 00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:39,427 Who said college? What happened? Tell me! 365 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,864 Okay! Fine! I messed up. 366 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:45,215 No, I did. I got in Barry's head and made him open his recco. 367 00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,130 And then he ruined it. Wait, you know? 368 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,784 Yes! I found that charred, 369 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,873 damp letter right where you left it. 370 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,484 Gah! Why didn't Mom clean that up? 371 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:54,964 Because you're a dumbass, 372 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:58,620 which is why I went to Katman and got you a brand-new recco. 373 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,404 How is this happening? 374 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:03,755 The man said no and cursed me out in the nicest possible way! 375 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,498 Because this man doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to college. 376 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,586 But listen to me. 377 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:11,589 Do not betray your weird, happy teacher again. 378 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,114 As a matter of fact, just steer clear of him forever. 379 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,767 My God, you're actually super effective 380 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,030 and good at Dad stuff when you care. 381 00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:19,946 That's on you for not being interesting. 382 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,600 You gotta promise me you're gonna go against 383 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:26,735 all your instincts and not be a moron who opens this letter. 384 00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:29,564 Can you do that? Can you not be a moron? 385 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:33,133 Honestly, that's asking a lot. It really is, Dad. 386 00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,265 ADULT ADAM: As Barry took on the challenge of a lifetime, 387 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,615 I was ready to give my mom her lifelong dream. 388 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:38,660 Oh, Lord. 389 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,358 Oh, Lord in poop. 390 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:42,751 You know what? You were right. 391 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,622 This is not gonna help me sell my cookbook. 392 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,450 All I'm gonna do is make a fool of myself. 393 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,278 Mom! Look at me. 394 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:51,542 You're in my world now, the AV world. 395 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,935 This is where I shine. 396 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,676 So you just have to follow my lead, 397 00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:56,199 and I'll make you look good. 398 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,288 Okay, I am so confused. You said... 399 00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,334 I know what I said, and I was wrong. 400 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:01,901 You've always been there to support me 401 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,555 with your love and kindness and new pants. 402 00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,818 And now it's my turn to support you. 403 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,343 So take my hand and let's go be on a TV station 404 00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:10,779 that legally has to let anyone on. 405 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,697 Preheat that oven. 406 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,742 It's parmin' time. 407 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:21,355 ADULT ADAM: Oh, yeah. Years of making my own movies had led to this moment. 408 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,879 And rolling. 409 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,404 Hi, I'm Adam... Ooh, boy. 410 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,319 In that moment, I discovered 411 00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,365 that when I go in front of an actual TV camera, 412 00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:34,194 I freeze up with crippling stage fright. 413 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:37,023 It's true, my body literally shuts down. 414 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,677 [MUMBLING] [MUTTERING] Okay... 415 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:40,896 Guess that's my cue. 416 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,767 Hi. Hello and welcome. 417 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,379 I'm Beverly Goldberg, and this is my little sous-chef, Adam. 418 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,685 Adam, say hello to the viewers. 419 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,513 Adam. 420 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:52,386 Me. Now, the secret to shredding mozzarella 421 00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,997 is to put the block of cheese in the freezer first. 422 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,956 Sous-chef Adam, the grater, please. 423 00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,220 My hands are numb. 424 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,613 Over the teeth and through the gums, 425 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,920 look out, tummy, here it comes. 426 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,053 Hoooo! 427 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:10,056 Whoooo is excited about my shrimp parm? 428 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,579 Well, I sure as heck am. 429 00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:14,060 Five stars, Mama. Oh... 430 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,976 You can find this parm and many more parms like it 431 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,847 in The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook. 432 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,544 [QUIETLY] I'm passing out. 433 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:23,939 That's right. Coming soon to book retailers near you. 434 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,201 I'm passing out. What? 435 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,463 I'm passing out. [BREATHING HEAVILY] 436 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:27,725 Do you want to sit down or something? 437 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,205 I'm gone! I'm gone. I'm down. 438 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,861 I'm Beverly Goldberg, thank you, and good night. 439 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,558 Mama's... Mama's here, schmoo! 440 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,561 ADULT ADAM: With my dad's help, 441 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,868 Barry got a new college recco from Doc, or so he thought. 442 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,522 Hey, Goldie. 443 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,741 Listen, I didn't sleep all night after I unloaded on you. 444 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,221 Not my best me. 445 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:48,311 No, I deserved that surprising barrage of potty language. 446 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,922 Look, I know how important that letter is to you, 447 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,228 so I wrote you another one. 448 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,404 You wrote a third letter? Third? 449 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,406 Buddy, this is the second one right here. 450 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,931 No, this is the second letter. 451 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,585 You gave it to my dad yesterday. 452 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,848 He may have given it to you, but I didn't give it to him. 453 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:07,200 Wait! That's why my dad told me not to talk to you! 454 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,636 He didn't want us to figure this out. 455 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,638 Figure what out? What the hell is in that envelope, pal? 456 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:11,900 God only knows! 457 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,423 We gotta open that letter. 458 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,122 But what about trust and all that stuff you got mad about? 459 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,558 I've never been on this side of it before! 460 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,734 It is really eating away at me, buddy! 461 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:22,780 Me too! But how do we open this letter without ruining it? 462 00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,087 With the answer to everything. 463 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,307 Science! 464 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,744 ADULT ADAM: That day, my brother set off to solve the mystery of a lifetime, 465 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:30,919 and that night, 466 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,703 I was reliving the embarrassment of a lifetime. 467 00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:34,966 I'm down. 468 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:38,579 Hey, pickle, maybe you should just watch The A Teaminstead? 469 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:41,973 I just wanted to see if my on-camera debut was as bad as I thought. 470 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,454 And it's worse. [SIGHS] 471 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,240 No. You were adorable. 472 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,111 You don't have to do that, Mom. 473 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,721 I just really wanted to help you. 474 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,375 [REO SPEEDWAGON'S KEEP ON LOVING YOUPLAYS] 475 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:56,684 Listen, lovebug, you putting yourself out there to support me, 476 00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:59,556 it helped me more than you could ever know. 477 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,429 Come on, I just ended up embarrassing you again. 478 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:06,389 Adam, I love every embarrassing thing about you. 479 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,217 It's what makes you the most special, 480 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,567 brilliant boy anyone could ever ask for. 481 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,659 Well, if this cookbook thing doesn't pan out, 482 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,358 at least we learned you're shockingly awesome on camera. 483 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,055 Forget TV. 484 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:24,973 That cookbook is my dream, and knowing I have your support 485 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,758 lets me know that one day, 486 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,238 it'll happen. 487 00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:32,589 Until then, I'll leave the cooking shows to you and Chad. 488 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,375 ♪ And though I know all about those men 489 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,637 ♪ Still I don't remember 490 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,160 And done. [SIGHS] 491 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,557 "To whom it may concern. Barry is fearless 492 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,038 "and has a boundless passion and enormous appetite for life. 493 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,476 "But what I admire most about my son 494 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,914 "is that no one has bigger dreams and more potential." 495 00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,134 Wow, your dad wrote this. 496 00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:01,836 "I might be Barry's father, but he's the one who teaches me every day." 497 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:07,581 "The only thing he can't do is know how much I believe in him." 498 00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:11,759 ♪ And I'm gonna keep on loving you 499 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:14,675 Wow, I can't believe Dad wrote such beautiful stuff about you. 500 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:17,199 Well, you know him. Anything for college. 501 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,201 College? What about college? What now? 502 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,290 Actually, I was just about to send out 503 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,901 the recco I got from Doc, which he gave me today. 504 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:26,121 So I won't be needing the one you wrote. 505 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,427 You weren't supposed to see that. 506 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,734 Well, I did. 507 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:34,085 ♪ And I'm gonna keep on loving you 508 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,652 ♪ 'Cause it's the only thing 509 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,393 Fine, you can keep the stupid letter. 510 00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:41,789 Forever. 511 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,313 ♪ I don't wanna sleep ♪ 512 00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,881 ADULT ADAM: Yep, sometimes even the people you're closest to 513 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,361 can be full of surprises. 514 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,406 Welcome to The Chadam Cooking Hour! 515 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,060 I'm master chef Chad Kremp! 516 00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,975 And I'm sous-chef Adam! 517 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:57,979 Before we begin, it's important to always stick matzoh to your face! 518 00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,503 And make sure to butter up your face so you can glue it right on. 519 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:01,852 Mmm, yes. 520 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:05,160 ADULT ADAM: In the end, my mom kept working on her cookbook, 521 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,163 but she realized she didn't have to be Julia Child to be happy 522 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,818 'cause she already had the recipe for success, 523 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,254 a loving family. 524 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,821 [LAUGHS] Cooking is fun! 525 00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:16,215 ♪♪ 526 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,349 I love matzoh! I love matzoh! 527 00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:22,612 BOTH: [LAUGHING] And I can eat matzoh! 528 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,614 [LAUGHS] [LAUGHS] 529 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:30,054 [VOCALIZING AS BLENDER] [VOCALIZING AS BLENDER] 530 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:34,102 I got a knife. I got a knife. 531 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,365 Can I do this? Can I do this? 532 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,324 Can I do this? Can I do this? 533 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,456 Can I do this? Can I do this? 534 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,719 Can I do this? Can I do this? 535 00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,721 Can I do this? Can I do this? 536 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,767 BOTH: Now, our next ingredient is Cool Whip. 537 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,159 Make a beard. Make a beard. 538 00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,727 Put it on your glasses. Put it on your glasses. 539 00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:54,470 Okay, just mailed in my last recco and application. 540 00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,342 Only a few months left, and I'm outta this dump. 541 00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,213 School sucks. I'll cherish you all. 542 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,434 Our lives are finally beginning, JTP. 543 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:04,393 I can't wait to come back for our 10-year reunion 544 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,526 and show everyone how awesome we all are. 545 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,310 Oh, we'll show 'em when I roll up with Erica, 546 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,225 and I'll be like, "'Sup! This wasn't a fluke." 547 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,619 Well, I'll cruise in on my rocket boots 548 00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:15,665 and my two wives named Heather... Locklear and Thomas. 549 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,973 Oh, yeah? I'm gonna beam here from planet Barry, 550 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:22,759 where I ride space elephants and rule Rap City with an iron fist. 551 00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:24,587 Wow, I can't wait for this reunion. 552 00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:26,459 Reunions! JTP: Reunions!