1 00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,603 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:05,639 Philadelphia hosted one of the most legendary charity rock concerts 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,608 ever assembled: Live Aid, 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:11,011 and no one wanted to go more than Big Tasty. 5 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,547 Dad, we need to have an insanely important talk. 6 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,083 And if you say, "Go to your mother," 7 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,384 there will be serious consequences. 8 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,219 Not listening. Go to your mother. 9 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,288 Okay, you know how all the awesome stuff happens 10 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,356 in New York and L.A. and Florida, but never here? 11 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,058 You do know that Philadelphia 12 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,893 is the birthplace of our country, right? 13 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,096 Enough with your folk tales, old man! 14 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,497 I'm talking about now. 15 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,398 It's called Live Aid. 16 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,566 The world's biggest rock concert ever 17 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,968 is happening here this weekend, and I need your car. 18 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,104 What's wrong with your van? 19 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,471 Doesn't start. 20 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,407 I think it needs new spark plugs or gas or something. 21 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,242 Point is, give me your keys and wallet. Hurry. 22 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,077 Here's the thing... No. 23 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,845 But I presented such a strong case! 24 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,680 This concert's been all over the news. 25 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,417 There's gonna be a million morons pouring into the city, 26 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,852 each one with bad hair and worse ideas. 27 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,422 But I have the worst ideas! I should be there, too. 28 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,858 No way I'm allowing my car to be driven in that madness. 29 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,059 It'll never return. 30 00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,528 Do you even know who's performing at Live Aid? 31 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,264 I don't know, and more importantly, I don't care. 32 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,599 Rick Springfield, REO Speedwagon, 33 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,269 the Hooters, Black Sabbath, RUN-D.M.C., 34 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:11,139 Simple Minds, Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin, 35 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,174 Bernard Watson, Joan Baez, 36 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,809 Four Tops, Billy Ocean, Bryan Adams, 37 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,646 Crosby, Stills & Nash, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, 38 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,680 Neil Young, 39 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,283 Bob Dylan, George Thorogood & the Destroyers, 40 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,917 most of the Rolling Stones, 41 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,052 all of Hall & Oates, 42 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,388 Madonna, Phil Collins, Duran Duran, 43 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,757 Eddie Kendricks and David Ruffin, 44 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:30,891 Patti LaBelle, 45 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,993 The Cars, Kenny Loggins, 46 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,695 Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, 47 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:37,765 Santana, Pretenders, Ashford & Simpson... 48 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,501 Ashford & Simpson? I'm in! 49 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,569 Really? No! 50 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,672 None of these names mean anything to me! 51 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,207 * I'm twisted up inside 52 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,710 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 53 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,547 * I don't know the future 54 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:57,084 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 55 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,220 ADULT ADAM: It was October 5, 1980-something, 56 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,021 and I had a genius plan 57 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,956 to be the coolest freshman ever. 58 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,892 Big news. I'm starting a club: 59 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,827 The Saturday Night Live Society. 60 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:07,895 Ugh. Here we go. 61 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:08,962 It'll be awesome. 62 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,898 We can wear costumes and perform skits 63 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,600 and do all their greatest characters, 64 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,168 like the Church Lady. 65 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,204 (IMITATING CHURCH LADY) Isn't that special? 66 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,038 Cut the crap, dude. You sound crazy. 67 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,139 We're freshmen now. 68 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,341 We got to start thinking about our reps. 69 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,075 (IMITATING FERNANDO) You look mah-velous. 70 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,811 Please! We're in public. 71 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:24,878 Girls hate that stuff. 72 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,079 We really do. 73 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,349 Impressing girls is the least of my concerns. 74 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,684 I'm just trying to make it through the day. 75 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,520 Oh, balls. 76 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,456 It's her. She's here. 77 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,826 It's...Waffle Girl. 78 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,093 Waffle Girl? 79 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,962 ADULT ADAM: Oh, yes, Waffle Girl. 80 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,997 She was my first crush ever. 81 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,599 I hadn't seen her in three years, 82 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,936 but now that I was a freshman, I was back in her world. 83 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:51,104 So many confusing feelings. 84 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,840 That's all in the past, bro. 85 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,342 We're in the now, 86 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,277 and that means you got to go rock that body. 87 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,778 Don't do that. 88 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,547 You already laid the groundwork when you were a small child. 89 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,414 Close the deal. 90 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,850 How? She's a junior. I'm just a boy. 91 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,117 Not anymore. 92 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,186 Back then, you were just a creepy kid. 93 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,389 Now you're a man, so it's not creepy at all. 94 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,523 Nope, still creepy. 95 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,759 Just walk on over there and be like, 96 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,427 "Yo, Waffles, remember me? 97 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:16,129 "Powdered sugar, sliced banana, side of sausage. 98 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,265 "Name's Adam Goldberg." 99 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,300 I can't say my name. It's too confusing. 100 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,235 There's another Adam Goldberg in school. 101 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:22,303 He's a senior. 102 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,772 He told me in no uncertain terms 103 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,674 that he's got dibs on the upper-class girls. 104 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,142 Stop using the other Adam Goldberg as an excuse. 105 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:32,246 Yeah, there's just so many other reasons why it won't work. 106 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,748 (SCOFFS) What do you know about girls? 107 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,217 Look, all you got to do is show her 108 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,086 that older women don't intimidate you. 109 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,522 You're right! It's all about confidence! 110 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,724 Oh, crap, here she comes. 111 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,226 Sausage! 112 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,928 What's that? 113 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,963 I'm a man now. 114 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:53,767 Oh, my God! Uh...Alan, right? 115 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,836 You used to come by the House of Waffles. 116 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,338 I am Alan, yes. 117 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,707 Aww. You were such a cute kid. 118 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,710 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Well, see you around. 119 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,813 ADULT ADAM: As I was out to prove to my first crush I was a man, 120 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,316 Barry was still fighting my dad about going to Live Aid. 121 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:11,151 Mom! Talk some sense into this bad man! 122 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,587 He's not letting me go to the world's most awesome concert! 123 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,456 Well, if you're jonesing for some bitchin' tunes, 124 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,858 what do you say we go to the Beach Boys concert, huh? 125 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:22,195 * God only knows what I'd be without Schmoo * 126 00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,464 Oh, my God, what are you singing? 127 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,367 Come on, go on a Surfin' Safari with your mama. 128 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,101 I got two tickets. Come. 129 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,370 Never! 130 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,505 The only concert Big Tasty is going to is Live Aid, 131 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,240 and nothing will stop me. 132 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,609 (ENGINE SPUTTERS) 133 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,910 Gah! 134 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,746 ADULT ADAM: Well, nothing except for an empty gas tank. 135 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,613 Doesn't matter! 136 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,750 I'll run there if I have to! Live Aid! 137 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,085 ADULT ADAM: But Barry still wasn't deterred... 138 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,554 Oh, cramp, cramp! 139 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,957 ...until the tummy cramp and the pebble in his shoe. 140 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,091 Stupid pebble! 141 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,126 Clearly, he wasn't going to the Beach Boys with my mom, 142 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,795 so she dragged along my dad. 143 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,097 I can't believe I let you talk me into this. 144 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,599 Who knew so many people loved 145 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,834 the delicate doo-wops of the Beach Boys? 146 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,936 They what? Let me see those tickets. 147 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,373 Live Aid? 148 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,808 The Beach Boys are playing at Live Aid? 149 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,110 You just took me into the eye of the storm! 150 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,612 I had no idea. 151 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,881 But come to think of it, 152 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,916 the guy at Ticketron did mention a couple of opening bands. 153 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,952 Thirty bands! We got to turn around right now. 154 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,755 Stop being so dramatic. It's just a little traffic. 155 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,358 You go into the Live Aid. I'll circle for three hours. 156 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,459 No, don't circle. 157 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,528 For once, can you not be so stubborn? 158 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,763 We could be here for days! 159 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:30,998 Damn it! 160 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,766 This is my (BLEEP) nightmare! 161 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,669 ADULT ADAM: As my dad was desperate to get out of traffic, 162 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,939 I was desperate to figure out a way to show Waffle Girl 163 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,908 I wasn't a little kid anymore. 164 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,275 Like any sensible adult, 165 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,512 I stole an idea from "The Brady Bunch." 166 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,547 But I do have a boyfriend. 167 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,781 It was a legendary episode 168 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,217 where Jan fakes a boyfriend by naming him... 169 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,353 George, uh, Glass... George Glass. 170 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,656 That's it. George Glass. 171 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,192 Oh, Jan Brady, you giver of genius middle-child wisdom. 172 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,462 She's no Marcia, but she does have moxie. 173 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,431 That's how I'll impress Waffle Girl. 174 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,966 I'm make up a fake older girlfriend, 175 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,302 and then she'll know I can hang with mature ladies. 176 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,572 I don't know what that sentence means, 177 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,706 but go for it, kiddo. 178 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,843 Oh, my God! Do not "George Glass" anyone. 179 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:19,046 It's too late. My plan is already taking shape, 180 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,681 and her name shall be... 181 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,052 Lampy...Tableson. 182 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,119 Lampy's not a name. 183 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,287 She's foreign. 184 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,222 She just transferred to Villanova 185 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,324 from the University of Europe. 186 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,461 This Lampy sounds hot to trot. 187 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,328 Only a sad, desperate loser 188 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,197 would stoop to George Glass-ing someone. 189 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,298 (SCOFFS) 190 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,399 His name's Jordan Wahlberg, 191 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,934 and he just transferred to Villanova. 192 00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:41,902 Oh, my God. 193 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,604 I can't believe your new boyfriend's in college. 194 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,773 Yeah, Jordy's on a swim scholarship. 195 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:46,807 He's crazy hot. 196 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,476 You are so lucky. 197 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,944 But not as lucky as finding a guy like my Geoffrey. 198 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,513 Yeah. I can do this. 199 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,614 A lot of people can do that. 200 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,015 We are just so happy 201 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,652 that you have finally, finally found someone, Erica. 202 00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,153 Thanks. What about you, Geoff? 203 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,254 Are you happy for me, 204 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,590 or is it more complicated than that? 205 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,857 What? Nothing. 206 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,693 Are you freaking kidding me right now? 207 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,095 Uh, I got to call Jordy. Bye. 208 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,798 ADULT ADAM: While I was furious that Erica stole my idea, 209 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,433 my furious father was still stuck in traffic! 210 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,402 Damn it! Move, already! 211 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,104 And then it happened. 212 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,772 Mur, look. 213 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,675 The parking gods took pity on my parents! 214 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:22,543 A space. 215 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,344 Not just any space. 216 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,947 That's the greatest space of all time! 217 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,482 (TIRES SCREECH) 218 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,619 Son of a bitch. Oh, come on. 219 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,788 Hey, buddy, I was here first! 220 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:38,125 What's he doing? He's ignoring me! 221 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,327 Stop it. W-Where are you going? 222 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,929 Get back in the car! 223 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:43,864 Hiya, buddy. 224 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:47,300 Listen, uh, this space... It's mine. 225 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,536 (HORN HONKING) 226 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,903 What are you... What are you honking? 227 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,471 He's honking! 228 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,806 We'll find another space! 229 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,608 We will not find another space. 230 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:58,211 (HONKING) Now you're honking at a private conversation 231 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,013 between a man and his wife. 232 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,214 (HORN HONKS) 233 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,017 Fine. Two can play at that game. 234 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,553 Honk! (HORN HONKS) 235 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,154 Honk! (HORN HONKS) 236 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,658 ADULT ADAM: My dad spent the next hour screaming his face off. 237 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,060 Meanwhile, I was about to face off with a thief. 238 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:16,463 Well! If it isn't my sister, who pulled a George Glass 239 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,099 after she specifically told me it was stupid! 240 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,333 For you. 241 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,936 You lack the pathological qualities needed to pull it off. 242 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,337 Me? Easy breezy. 243 00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,573 Jordan Wahlberg? 244 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,307 You just took two New Kids on the Block 245 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,341 and mashed them together. 246 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,443 Jordy is much more than a name. 247 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,845 He's got big plans, 248 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,581 and I put them down in this dossier. 249 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,482 For example, after he goes to the Olympics, 250 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,517 he's going to med school to become a urologist. 251 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,253 That's crazy! No one wants to be a urologist. 252 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,991 Face it, I'm unbeatable. I've thought of every detail. 253 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,093 I was made to George Glass me a guy. 254 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,261 Well, I was made to George Glass me a gal. 255 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:51,498 Oh! So sad, you guys have to make up pretend lovers 256 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,834 instead of knowing the joy of a authentic one. 257 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,269 I'm talking about my longtime companion, Lainey. 258 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,971 Sad. Idiot. 259 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,808 You had a fake girlfriend from Canada for three years. 260 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,043 Marian Lemieux wasn't fake! I met her at camp. 261 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,613 We went to the same camp. There was no Marian. 262 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,180 She spent all her time at the lake, 263 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,349 but then had to leave for a modeling emergency! 264 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,884 It happens! ERICA: Whatever. 265 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,152 Point is, there's only room 266 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:15,522 for one George Glasser in this family, and it's me. 267 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,724 ADULT ADAM: The battle had begun. 268 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,760 It was time for me to bring Lampy to life. 269 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,194 Are you sure about this, dude? 270 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,997 Yes, I'm taking my fake girlfriend to a whole new level. 271 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:27,234 A hickey equals proof. Engage. 272 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,969 (VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS) 273 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,137 (SUCTION POPS) 274 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:31,939 It kind of tickles. 275 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,474 Don't make this any weirder than it already is. 276 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:35,575 (WHIRRING STOPS) 277 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,344 How's it look? Like you got some action. 278 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,712 Then do more. 279 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,547 I want people to know me and Lampy are the real deal. 280 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,549 What's a Lampy? Just hickey me, already! 281 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,717 (VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING, SUCTION POPS) 282 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,786 This cannot fail. 283 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,689 Fail! I can see that, Dave Kim! 284 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,524 ADULT ADAM: While the vacuum was threatening to blow up my spot, 285 00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,161 my dad was still refusing to give up his. 286 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,997 How long are we gonna do this? Just give it up. 287 00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,031 I was here first! 288 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,167 According to parking rules, this space is mine. 289 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,203 We all know that there are no rules to parking. 290 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,573 Look! I'm in more of the spot than you are, so it's mine! 291 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,941 You just said, "No rules," 292 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,077 yet you just told me a rule, you moron! 293 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,680 Murray, it's a stupid parking space! 294 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,381 Stop being so stubborn! 295 00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,684 Never! I will stay here forever. 296 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,485 I will make this my home if I have to. 297 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,953 That's absurd. 298 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,554 How would you get ready for work? 299 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,424 I would leave my job and move my family here. 300 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,558 Don't be an idiot. 301 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,328 This spot can hold three people, max, 302 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,529 not a whole family! 303 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:33,901 I will forsake my wife and kids and my life as I know it 304 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,736 just for this parking space! 305 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,705 That is a horrible thing to s... 306 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,040 Your wife is sitting right there. 307 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,374 Thank you, Larry. 308 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:45,578 Yes! Thank you, Larry, because this is my new home. 309 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,715 Not the pants. Oh, yes, the pants. 310 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:48,849 Don't you do it. 311 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,184 MURRAY: And this feels just like home. 312 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,020 Whoo! Whoo! It feels good. 313 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:57,090 You know, I like to dig in, but this is next level, buddy. 314 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,659 Good luck to you, Beverly. 315 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,795 (CHUCKLES) You see that, Bevy? 316 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:04,064 This is what victory looks like. 317 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,800 And that's what the end of a concert looks like. 318 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,636 But we won the space, and that's not nothing. 319 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,671 Oh, my God. 320 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,976 ADULT ADAM: My plan with the vacuum sucked, 321 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,879 so my only option was to double down. 322 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,513 I know I keep saying this, man, 323 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,315 but I don't know about this, man. 324 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,450 Shut up, Dave Kim. 325 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,019 My only choice is to turn these obviously fake hickeys 326 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,855 into a convincing paintball injuries. 327 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,622 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) Oh, balls! 328 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,725 Balls! Oh, balls! It hurts. 329 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,161 It hurts so bad! Next time, warn me. 330 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,964 Thought it would be better to surprise you. Ready? 331 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,232 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) Oh! It hurts worse. 332 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,468 It's worse when you prepare! Don't let me prepare. 333 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,635 Go back to the other way. 334 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,538 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) Oh, man! Manischewitz! 335 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,907 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) Sorry! 336 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,308 Funky Cold Medina! 337 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,442 So sorry. 338 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,878 Mommy! Mommy! Everyone okay? 339 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,345 Thought I heard a woman scream. 340 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,815 Yeah, probably scared some freshman ladies 341 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,549 with my extreme p-ball training. 342 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,920 I had no idea you played paintball. It's totally my thing. 343 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,922 It's totally my thing, too. 344 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,225 I used to go with my college girlfriend, 345 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,928 Paintsy McBallerson. 346 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,129 Want to go with me sometime? 347 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,931 I'm always looking for a battle partner. 348 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,532 Uh, yeah, for sure. 349 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,034 Great. It's a date. 350 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,137 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) 351 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,939 Oh, my... Ow! 352 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:22,042 Dad, it has recently come to my attention 353 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,345 that the Beach Boys concert mom invited me to 16 times 354 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,646 was, in fact, Live Aid. 355 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:27,680 How about that? 356 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,917 Yes. "How about that?" indeed. 357 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,585 What the hell is that? 358 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:34,955 This, Father, is a traditional mok jong, 359 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,991 or as the uninitiated call it, a karate training post. 360 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,827 Well, why is it blocking The Rockford Files? 361 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,496 See, I have achieved a rage so pure, so overwhelming, 362 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,999 I have no choice but to channel it into this wooden thing 363 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,100 for the next three hours. 364 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,568 This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it? 365 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,637 Up windmill! Down windmill! 366 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,372 Cross block! Hyah-hyah! 367 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:55,542 Monkey steals the peach! Tiger climbs the tree! 368 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,644 Looks like I'm not the only one upset 369 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,012 about missing their concert. 370 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,748 Look, I'm a stubborn guy. I can't change that. 371 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,483 You can change, and you will. 372 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,085 It's an impossible ask. 373 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,887 To start, you're taking me to Chi-Chi's, 374 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,290 and I'm finally gonna try those sizzlin' fa-jee-tas everybody's raving about. 375 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,659 You know my rule about Mexican food. Can't do it. 376 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,427 That's the whole point. 377 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,498 You won't eat Mexican food 'cause once you had bad nachos at a Phillies game. 378 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,100 There was a war inside me, Bevy. 379 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,136 That's on you for ordering beans and liquid cheese 380 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,172 in an outdoor stadium in July. 381 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,974 I reject all Mexican foods forever. 382 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,877 We're going to Chi-Chi's, and you're gonna like it! 383 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,379 Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah! 384 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,748 (YAWNING) Oh, my God. 385 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,885 Jordan's frat threw this sick rager, 386 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,352 and I was out till, like, dawn. 387 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,321 The best parties are always at Omega Sig. 388 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:45,458 Wait. My cousin Brett goes to Villanova, and he's Omega. 389 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,027 Oh? Wow! 390 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,897 Yeah, I thought they can't have parties anymore 391 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,032 since T-Bone fell off the roof. 392 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,802 Maybe it's not Omega Sig. It's Omega Beta. 393 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,337 That's right. I'm tired. 394 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,039 Actually, Omega Beta is a sorority. 395 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,308 Yeah, we know because they put out a calendar every year. 396 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,343 It's quite tasteful, and the proceeds go to charity. 397 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,979 You don't know which frat your boyfriend's in? 398 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,481 Wait. Fast. What color are his eyes? 399 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,017 Breen. Breen? 400 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,519 Oh, my God, are you George Glass-ing us? 401 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,620 George what? 402 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,555 I mean, I don't even know what you're talking about. 403 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,224 Come on. Erica, of all people, 404 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,691 wouldn't need to make up a boyfriend. 405 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,929 Thank you, Geoff. I mean, I've never even seen The Brady Bunch. 406 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,596 Oh, you clearly just referenced 407 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,066 the thing you said you didn't know, so now I feel sad for you. 408 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,734 Me too. It's all unraveling. 409 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,236 Jordan Wahlberg! 410 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,571 All you did was combine two names from New Kids on the Block! 411 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:32,940 So cute. 412 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,709 It's not cute. It's real, and it's college, and breen is a color. 413 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,212 It's brown mixed with green, so suck it. 414 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:43,083 Well, I guess we'll believe it if and when we meet him. 415 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:49,489 You know, my Nana says that sometimes wishing makes it so. 416 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,690 Your pity makes it worse. 417 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,125 Agreed. 418 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,327 Well, well. 419 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,997 It appears even my pathological sister 420 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,932 can't pull off a George Glass. 421 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,400 Oh, and like you're doing any better? 422 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,903 In fact, I am. I have a romantic paintball date with Waffle Girl. 423 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,073 How is paintball romantic in any way? 424 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,608 Trust me, our love will be forged on the battlefield 425 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:12,980 once she witnesses my unflinching courage and legendary bravery. 426 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,582 (SCREAMS) I'm so scared! 427 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:16,950 That one grazed my hand a little. 428 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,152 Don't hurt me! I'm just a little boy! 429 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,054 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) 430 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,790 Wait! Alan, you dropped your gun! 431 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,658 I don't care! 432 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,063 Isn't this great, Mur? 433 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,531 See how much fun we can have 434 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,700 when you're not busy being a stubborn grump? 435 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,635 I have to admit, it's not that bad. 436 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,638 And the chicken fajita for the lovely senorita. 437 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,107 And for the senor... 438 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,143 Bup, bup. I ordered the steak fa-jee-tas. 439 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:46,546 My sincerest apologies, senor. Uh, no more steak fajitas. 440 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,982 No more steak fa-jee-tas? Murray, chicken's fine. 441 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,284 Those people over there, they were seated after us, 442 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,186 and they got their steak fa-jee-tas. 443 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:56,156 This dinner is supposed to show me how not stubborn you are. 444 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,625 Don't ruin it by being extra stubborn. 445 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,093 Look, here's what's gonna happen. 446 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,562 You're gonna go to every table with steak fa-jee-tas, 447 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,632 take one off their plate, put it on my plate. 448 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,699 Problem solved. 449 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,301 You take those chicken fa-jee-tas 450 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:11,171 and put them in a corn tor-till-a right now, or I'm going home. 451 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,672 Well, then go... Excuse me. 452 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:17,377 Because I'm not leaving until my fa-jee-tas are good and steaked. 453 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,012 End of story. 454 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,314 See, Bevy? It all worked out. 455 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:24,051 We didn't get fa-jee-tas, but we got something even better, 456 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,552 cheesesteaks from Jim's. 457 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,088 Yes, Murray, it all worked out... For you. 458 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,822 You can't still be mad. 459 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,124 Ho-ho, I am. 460 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,460 Mom, you should practice fighting my wooden post. 461 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,263 It took four hours, but I punched all the rage out of me. 462 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,565 Look. You're just as bad as me. Me stubborn? 463 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,801 When Adam gets a bad grade, who storms down to school 464 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,405 and refuses to leave until they change it? Me, but... 465 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,341 And who had a two-hour standoff at the deli counter 466 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,310 about how to slice turkey breasts? 467 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,979 Our family only eats paper-thin meats. 468 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,448 And who argued about the warranty 469 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:59,586 of a decade-old washing machine and somehow got it replaced? 470 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,854 I didn't do those things for me, Murray! 471 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,590 I did them for the people I love! 472 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,426 So, yes, I'm stubborn when it comes to my family. 473 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,429 But you? You're only stubborn for the things you want. 474 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,464 And that's not just being stubborn. 475 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,666 That's just being plain selfish. 476 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,908 ADULT ADAM: My date with Waffle Girl had turned into a massacre... 477 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,042 Of my dignity. 478 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:25,145 Alan, I'm pinned! You have to help me! 479 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:28,748 Um, okay, Waffle Girl. 480 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:29,982 (PAINTBALL GUN FIRES) 481 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:33,120 Ow! Ow, ow, ow! They keep hitting my hand. 482 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,654 Ugh. Your lady's pinned, dude! 483 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,190 You're gonna have to flank left, draw enemy fire. 484 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,726 I'll break right, she'll go for the flag. 485 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,428 Or another battle plan. 486 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:44,697 I flee back to the parking lot and hide under your Tercel. 487 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,833 On 3. 3! (GRUNTS) 488 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,067 (PAINTBALL GUNFIRE) 489 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,936 (GROANING) Oh! Oh, balls! 490 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,604 I surrender, damn it! 491 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:54,241 Aah! Ew! Ow, ow, ow, ew! 492 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,576 I got it! That's game! 493 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,146 (THE BEACH BOYS' GOD ONLY KNOWS PLAYS) You saved us, wuss bag. 494 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,581 I had 100 bucks riding on this, so I owe you one. 495 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,351 ADULT ADAM: Turns out, love can sting. 496 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,987 But as much pain as I was in, my sister hurt even more. 497 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,556 Fun time at paintball? 498 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:13,426 Yeah. I kind of made an ass out of myself in front of Waffle Girl. 499 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,529 Can't be worse than me. You saw what happened. 500 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:19,999 Evy outed me, and everyone thinks I'm a total joke. 501 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,801 Even Geoff? 502 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,303 Especially Geoff. 503 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,338 Anything I can do? 504 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,474 I wish. 505 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:32,445 Truth is, at this point, there is nothing anybody can do. 506 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,847 It hard to watch someone you care about hurt, 507 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:38,351 but every once in a while, love can turn around and surprise you. 508 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,253 * If you should ever leave me * 509 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,689 Murray? What is this? 510 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,491 I screwed up. 511 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,527 So I, uh, went back to Chi-Chi's. 512 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,297 You went back to the Mexican restaurant for me? 513 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:54,734 Look, I'm a stubborn bastard. I always will be. 514 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:58,471 But I realized the most important thing for me to be stubborn about 515 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,873 is making you happy. 516 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:04,211 ADULT ADAM: That night, my dad gave up his stubborn ways. 517 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,978 Eh, sort of. 518 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,347 Not bad. 519 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,949 It's not as sizzly when you do them in the microwave. 520 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,552 But I don't know how to work an oven, and I refuse to learn. 521 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:16,723 And yet my dad still learned for one person, my mom. 522 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,558 Hey, Jan Brady. 523 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,193 You heading up to Tappa Tappa Keg 524 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,928 to meet up with Donnie McIntyre? 525 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,095 It's Jordan Wahlberg. 526 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,265 EDDIE: (WHISTLES) Erica! 527 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,466 Why haven't you called me back? 528 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,735 Kappa Phi is throwing a kegger tonight. 529 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,136 You coming or what? 530 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,738 Holy! He's real? 531 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:35,742 Sorry, Jordan Wahlberg, who is clearly very real and very handsome. 532 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,109 I told you, we're over. 533 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,078 (CHUCKLES) Okay, wait. Adam said if I... 534 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,514 It's done, so please just go. 535 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:45,017 Hey, sorry you guys had to see that. He's taking it hard. 536 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:48,221 Looks like it. Are you okay? 537 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,791 Yeah. He just wasn't the one. 538 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,528 * God only knows what I'd be without you * 539 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,365 Wow. Looks like you're a true George Glass master. 540 00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,566 Why did you help me? 541 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,402 Look, Waffle Girl is just some random crush. 542 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:06,138 I don't even know her name, and she thinks mine's Alan. 543 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:09,342 But you and Geoff, that's the real deal. 544 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,511 ADULT ADAM: No one's perfect when it comes to family. 545 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,880 Easy. I'm still really sore. 546 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:14,914 (CHUCKLES) 547 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,450 Sometimes we lie, sometimes we're stubborn. 548 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,552 Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves 549 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,522 that we forget to look out for each other. 550 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:28,094 Oh, that's the Beach Boys. Who was I thinking of? 551 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,762 The Monkees. 552 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,130 Ah, yeah, they're funny. 553 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,566 Maybe they'll be at the next Live Aid. 554 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,234 ADULT ADAM: But that's family for you. 555 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,638 In the end, God only knows where we'd be without each other. 556 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,340 Punchy, punchy, kick, kick! 557 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,843 MURRAY: No, man, don't do that. 558 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,978 I tried to park, and you jumped into the parking spot. 559 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,314 (BELL DINGS) 560 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:49,816 Yeah, that's great. 561 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,584 I got 20 other people who could say the same thing. 562 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,020 You don't got a camera. Do you? 563 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,155 Yes. Come on down with it. 564 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,691 I got what I want. Hi, Mom. 565 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,564 You made some headway on Operation Waffle Girl. 566 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,400 Only took you four years, but worth the wait. 567 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,801 I want to ask her out again, 568 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,737 preferably to something not painful. 569 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:14,106 Oh, no, you don't, Mister. No more Waffle Girl. 570 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,376 She is much too old for you. 571 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:19,912 Mom, I'm an actual man now, a man with needs. 572 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:23,650 And I'm gonna show Waffle Girl just how much of a man I am, 573 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,418 and it's gonna get so freaky that she... 574 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,654 She's right there behind me, isn't she? 575 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,890 I'll come back in another four years.