1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,372 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, Stephen King was the master of horror. 2 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,574 The man seemed to write a new book every week, 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,276 and I devoured them all. 4 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,211 But my favorite, "Misery," 5 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,380 a story about a woman who kept a writer captive 6 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,915 till he wrote her the story of her dreams. 7 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,450 Schmoop-a-loop. 8 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,852 Don't forget we're going underpants shopping tomorrow. 9 00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,154 I remember you saying that. 10 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,022 I don't remember agreeing to it. 11 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,757 I suppose you're too old for Underoos now? 12 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,659 Yes! I'm in a high school! 13 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,828 God, this is a nightmare I can't escape from. 14 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,798 (SIGHS) Guess I'll have to put these in my scrapbook now. 15 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:33,734 ADULT ADAM: Stephen King made me want to write horror stories, too. 16 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,036 I just hadn't found anything horrific to write about. 17 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,238 Let me see. 18 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,840 What is scary? 19 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,475 Kissy monster attack! 20 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,544 ADULT ADAM: And if my writer's block weren't bad enough, 21 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,413 I had this to deal with, too. 22 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,148 Whoo! That was good for me. 23 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,049 Okay, meatloaf burgers in 20. 24 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,484 (CHUCKLES) 25 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,086 (MUMBLING) 26 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,788 Ohh! (LAUGHS) 27 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,056 ADULT ADAM: Wait. That was it. 28 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:59,026 I already lived in my own Stephen King horror tale, 29 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,662 and I was gonna write about the scariest monster of them all... 30 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,264 Kissy monster returns! 31 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,998 ADULT ADAM: ...my horrifying smother. 32 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:06,900 Feeds on chubby cheeks! 33 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,602 * I'm twisted up inside 34 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:13,040 * But nonetheless, I feel the need to say 35 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,177 * I don't know the future 36 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,913 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 37 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,550 ADULT ADAM: It was October 29th, 1980-something, 38 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,017 and, unfortunately for Erica, 39 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,853 the Halloween dance was fast approaching. 40 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,589 Me and Evy came up with the perfect couple's costume. 41 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,491 I'm gonna be Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors. 42 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:33,394 And I'll be Audrey II, the man-eating plant. 43 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,995 Fits. Excuse me, now? 44 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:38,166 I hope it fits, the costume. 45 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,469 And, uh, who exactly are you taking to the dance, Erica? 46 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,837 I've got... someone lined up. It... 47 00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,806 Lainey's hot cousin Nate. 48 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,408 What? Nate didn't tell me you were goin... 49 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,842 Yeah, he doesn't tell you everything. 50 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,411 Oh. Yeah. 51 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,813 He did say you're in a very serious relationship. 52 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,482 It's not that serious. 53 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,983 I mean, we could break up anytime, 54 00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,551 so I can date other people. 55 00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,188 Totally. 'Cause you have trouble committing? 56 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,290 Nope. I'm very open to that. 57 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,725 Just with the right person, which it's not right now. 58 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,927 Point is, I have a date. Okay. Bye. 59 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,630 ADULT ADAM: Yep, my sister had resorted to making up a date, 60 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,599 and no one was more pleased than my brother. 61 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:16,170 Oh...ho...ho... ho...ho! 62 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,071 How the mighty have fallen. 63 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,508 Okay, I can't deal with whatever this is, so get out. 64 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,943 This is me rejoicing in your social failures. 65 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,812 I know you have no date this Halloween, 66 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,414 most romantic of all holidays. 67 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,616 Okay, I get it... You're here to bust balls, 68 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,751 but please, I need you to cut me some slack. 69 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,087 Did you ever cut me slack during the last 16 years? 70 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,656 Before I had Lainey, you tortured me for being 71 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,090 the world's biggest loser. 72 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,492 Come on. I wasn't that bad. 73 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,494 You made a puppet out of a tube sock 74 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,062 and told everyone it was my girlfriend. 75 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,364 (CHUCKLES) Soxanne. 76 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,932 You wrote an op-ed in the school paper 77 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,334 about what a loser I was. 78 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,403 I changed your name! No one knew that Gary Boldberg was you. 79 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:52,573 You spread a rumor about me dating the lunch lady! 80 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,107 Doris is just a friend! 81 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,477 Okay, fine! I've done a few evil things. 82 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,879 But that doesn't mean I deserve comeuppance. Please! 83 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,113 Oh, no! 84 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,182 I've been waiting my whole life for this moment 85 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,185 to come in here and call you the sad sack. 86 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,920 Oh, my God. You're right. 87 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,923 I'm you. I'm the Barry. 88 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,092 "I'm the Barry"? What... What the hell does that mean? 89 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,761 You know, the mopey loser, the Barry! 90 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,029 Okay, that is not what being the Barry means. 91 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,432 I don't want to be the Barry, but that's exactly what I am! 92 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,133 This is my moment of triumph! 93 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,735 Don't feel sorry for yourself for being me! 94 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,104 But I really do feel like a hopeless Barry, 95 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,974 while you're happily living your life like anything but a Barry. 96 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,377 Okay, I am happy, but I'm not the Barry. 97 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,678 (SLURPS) 98 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,647 I mean, I am the Barry, but in a good way! Gah! Just shut up! 99 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,349 ADULT ADAM: As Barry wasn't getting his revenge, 100 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:38,819 I was about to find out that my mom had read my horror story 101 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,087 based solely on her. 102 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,090 Hey. Don't "hey" me, mister. I found your little story. 103 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,492 Oh. Okay. 104 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,928 Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead 105 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,931 or big-haired and blond is purely coincidental. 106 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:54,368 I just don't understand how you could do this. 107 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,304 Why would you hide something so 108 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,038 amazing from your mother? 109 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,740 You actually liked it? 110 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,041 Liked it? 111 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,545 This is as good, if not better, than Stefan King himself. 112 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,347 Stephen King. And you've read his stuff? 113 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,482 Not a word. But I'll tell you something. 114 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,985 He'd better look out for Adam F. Goldberg. 115 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,021 Love the middle initial, very authorly. 116 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,957 It's only there 'cause there's another Adam Goldberg in school. 117 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,692 He's in 11th grade and has a beard. 118 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,295 Ooh! What if we send this story to Mr. King? 119 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,596 Maybe he could get it published. 120 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,666 I-I would love that, but it's just a first draft. 121 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,501 If he's gonna read it, it has to be perfect. 122 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:31,071 You keep working on it, and we'll keep it under wraps until then. 123 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,306 Great news, everyone. 124 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,408 I've picked the new book for book club. 125 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,709 Ooh! Who's it by? 126 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,745 Only the greatest American novelist. 127 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,313 Hemingway? Hemingway? 128 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:41,048 Psst! Yuck! (CHUCKLES) 129 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,016 My little Adam. 130 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,086 Beverly, we usually do classics or award winners. 131 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,322 The point of book club is to enrich our minds. 132 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,690 Put a sock in it, Elaine. 133 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,360 Last week, you picked that suck-ass Joy Luck Club. 134 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:55,295 Bevy, that book was a heart-wrenching masterpiece. 135 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,465 Okay, what are you even doing here? 136 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,999 This is a book club for ladies. 137 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,369 That's exactly why I'm here. 138 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,405 Albert Solomon, book lover. 139 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,440 Dad, stop trying to take over book club. 140 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,875 Okay, everyone. 141 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,710 Read my boopie's book. 142 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,212 I guess reading one little short story won't hurt. 143 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,214 Yay! (LAUGHS) 144 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,083 I'm so glad you already love it. 145 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,985 Yay! 146 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,520 Yay! 147 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,455 ADULT ADAM: As my mom was helping me get my big break, 148 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,425 my sister was about to get one of her own. 149 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,259 (CAR DOOR CLOSES AND ENGINE STARTS) 150 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,961 Are you okay, Geoff? 151 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,030 Oh, my gosh, did you break up? 152 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,765 If so, that is sad. 153 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:35,068 No. Uh, Evy's Gam-Gam's in the hospital. 154 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,470 She can't go to the Halloween dance. 155 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,105 That is also sad. 156 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,973 Hey! I have a fun idea. 157 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:43,110 Why don't you two do a couple's costume together? As friends. 158 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,178 Yes. Just a couple of friends. 159 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,715 We can even do Little Shop of Horrors, like you wanted. 160 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,916 I thought you had a date. 161 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,518 Lainey's cousin? 162 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,019 Uh, no, his grandma's sick, too. 163 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,021 She must have caught the same bug as Evy's grandma. 164 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,056 I don't think you can catch slipping in a tub. 165 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,290 Well, we're not doctors. 166 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,292 I don't know. I mean, Evy was the one making them, 167 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,428 and I don't even know how... 168 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,295 Bup-bup. Don't you worry. 169 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,532 I am going to make a Broadway-quality costume 170 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,833 with my own two hands. 171 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,836 Boom! Look what I rented with my own two hands. 172 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,804 You are so gonna take Evy's man 173 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,673 while she's tending to her ailing Gam-Gam. 174 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,242 Don't say it like that, 'cause you make it sound like I'm the bad guy here. 175 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:18,045 Eh, it's dicey, but you're my best friend. I'm on your side. 176 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,047 ADULT ADAM: That day, Erica wasn't the only one 177 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,549 with delusions of grandeur. 178 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,551 Okay, blah-di-blah. Enough small talk. 179 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,152 All your weeks were the same. 180 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,386 Nothing important happened in your lives. 181 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,321 All right, down to business. 182 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,058 Who here loved Adam's story? 183 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,727 Beverly, it was good, really good. 184 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,897 I knew it! My baby's the next Stefan King. 185 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,666 Just, just one tiny, little thing. 186 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:42,970 Um did you happen to notice anything familiar? 187 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,171 What? What are you getting at? 188 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,606 Uh, Albert, you want to field this? 189 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,407 Fine. I'll take the hit. 190 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,443 Listen, Bevy, it's clear 191 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:52,980 the soul-sucking monster in the story is you. 192 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,549 Mmm, I don't see it. 193 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,952 It's name is Veeberly, has blond hair, 194 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,688 and wears colorful sweaters. 195 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,123 Mmm, not connecting the dots. 196 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,158 Just look at the cover. 197 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:09,162 It's clearly your head on a spider-like creature's torso. 198 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,464 Mmm... 199 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,134 Beverly, it's you! 200 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,504 Wait, does everybody here think I'm a monster? 201 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,006 No! No, no, no! We don't think that. 202 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,273 Just your child. 203 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,576 He's the one that called you, let me get the words, 204 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:26,413 "A vicious she-spider whose strength comes from 205 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,549 "her children's blood and Jazzercize." 206 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,883 Well, that... 207 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,219 That's not Adam's final version. 208 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,755 He still has many, many changes to make. 209 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,956 I get it. 210 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,458 Once, my son said that my chicken was a little dry. 211 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,694 Oh, your chicken was dry! 212 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,563 Get out. 213 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,165 I love you, but get your ass out of here. 214 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,333 Book club is over. 215 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,603 (DOOR SLAMS) 216 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,005 Oh, good. They're gone (GRUNTS) 217 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,342 Can you believe they think Adam's short story is about me? 218 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,545 Here, let me take a look. 219 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,347 "It was blond and angry and was rude to waiters." 220 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,215 No, this tracks. That could be anybody. 221 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,984 "The colorful sweaters and neon leggings 222 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,285 "hid the darkness in her heart." 223 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,787 Why am I even discussing this? 224 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,221 I've got shrimp Parm to make for dinner. 225 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,957 "She lured her victims with promises 226 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,458 "of cheesy seafood casserole." 227 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,727 Yes, we all know, clearly, it's me! 228 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,029 ADULT ADAM: As my mom was finding out she was my monster, 229 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,131 Erica was about to get a fright of her own. 230 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,900 Hey. Hi. (CHUCKLING) Hello. 231 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,201 You're back. 232 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,671 Great news, Evy's Gam-Gam made a full recovery. 233 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,306 Oh, that's just so great! 234 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,577 'Cause now we're not going to the dance together. 235 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,145 Or... (CHUCKLES) how's this work? 236 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,614 Um, I think it works like 237 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,016 I'll go with my girlfriend but see you there? 238 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,151 For sure! I'm going with Nate again. 239 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,487 His grandma's doing better, too. (CHUCKLES) 240 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,455 Vitamins am I right? (LAUGHS) 241 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,691 Anyway, I'll catch you there. 242 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,093 Okay. 243 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,428 Thanks for agreeing to go with him as friends. 244 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,263 So sweet of you. 245 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,199 Also. I'm onto you, homewrecker. 246 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,869 Wha... I lied about Gam-Gam doing better. 247 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,738 She's in a medically induced coma. 248 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,573 But I'm staying here to make sure 249 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,041 you don't lay your mitts on my man. 250 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,442 Evy, I have no idea why you... 251 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,612 Oh, sweet Erica. 252 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:07,380 I get what he sees in you. 253 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,684 The olive skin, chestnut auburn hair, 254 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,985 easy smile. 255 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,186 Thank you? 256 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,189 You had your chance with my Geoff last year. 257 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,891 But you blew it. 258 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,259 Blew it. 259 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,962 Oh, Evy. 260 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:25,065 Sure, you're smart and confident. 261 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,366 But it won't be enough. 262 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,635 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 263 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,003 Don't you drag the back of your hand down my cheek 264 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,439 in a soft but threatening manner. Only I do that. 265 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,441 Well, it seems like I'm doing it right now. 266 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,044 Only the woman with the upper hand does that. 267 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,012 Shh! We both know who that is. 268 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,080 Shh! 269 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,182 Don't you shush my lips with your finger! 270 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,684 I am the one who shushes! 271 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,018 (BOTH SHUSHING) 272 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,055 Enough! 273 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,757 This is a fight you can't win, missy, 274 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,258 'cause I already won. 275 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,628 Ugh. We watched this whole thing, 276 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,063 and they're not gonna wrestle at all. 277 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,298 This school sucks. Totally. 278 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,868 Let's go smash some pumpkins. (CHUCKLES) 279 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,372 ADULT ADAM: It was Halloween night, and I was gonna be 280 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,407 the scariest kid on the block. 281 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,277 Little did I know, something scarier was right behind me. 282 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,712 Going somewhere, love bug? 283 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,246 I thought I'd go trick-or-treating, 284 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,682 you know, for old times' sake. 285 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,016 Of course. 286 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,652 But first, you have some rewriting to do. 287 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,854 See, I showed your story to my book club. 288 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,489 They had some concerns. 289 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,624 Not me, of course, them. Like what? 290 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,360 The main character, the Veeberly, 291 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,362 they think she should be more lovable. 292 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,765 What? And kind. And snuggly. 293 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,367 Snuggly? For a horror story? 294 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,936 That makes no sense. 295 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,771 I don't know, I'm not a writer, 296 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,139 but do that exactly. 297 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,507 Type-y, type-y. 298 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,610 Oh, my God! You figured out the story was loosely based on you. 299 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,479 "Loosely"? On page two, you accidentally wrote 300 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,348 "Beverly" instead of "Veeberly." 301 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,650 It's just a story. It's no big deal. 302 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,485 Well, I'm glad you feel that way, 303 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,954 'cause you're gonna change it all 304 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,322 and make me a great mama. 305 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,892 My friends think my own son sees me as a monster. 306 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,828 Do you know how much that hurts me? 307 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,996 You realize what you're doing to me, right? 308 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,998 You're "misery-ing" me. That's not a word. 309 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,499 You're trapping me in my room 310 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,468 and forcing me to make changes to my story, 311 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,171 just like the crazy lady in Stephen King's book. 312 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:16,109 Squishy, you can leave whenever you want, once you fix the story. 313 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,713 Now, stop with the cockadoodie attitude and get to work! 314 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,481 Yay. 315 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,450 ADULT ADAM: As I was being forced to keep working, 316 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,719 Erica had completely given up. 317 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,355 Hey, sport. How you feeling? 318 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,656 Awful. 319 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,159 Never felt so much like a Barry in my entire life. 320 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,394 You do know he's my boyfriend and I love him, right? 321 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,495 (MUFFLED) I know. 322 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,497 Well, I've got some news that'll cheer you up. 323 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,632 My cousin Nate has agreed to take you to the dance. 324 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,734 Hot Nate? Really? 325 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,469 Hey, Eri... No. 326 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,738 Oh, it's Nate. Hi. Hi, Nate. 327 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:47,340 Lainey, can I see you in the hall for sec? Uh-huh. 328 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,109 Okay. (LAINEY CHUCKLES) 329 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,844 (WHISPERING) You're going! No. That's not happening. 330 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,781 You're gonna... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) No. No. Good luck. 331 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,116 Um, Nate just realized that he had 332 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,986 a Halloween night dental appointment that he can't reschedule. 333 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,021 There is no Halloween night dental appointment, is there? 334 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,689 No. He kind of saw you and left. 335 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,124 Say I'm the Barry. You're the Barry. 336 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,425 Oh, heard my name! 337 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,994 It better be in reference to someone 338 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,662 with exceptional talent, who can rap and break-dance. 339 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,398 Okay, that's enough. Erica, get up. 340 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,333 No one is gonna be the Barry tonight. Hey! 341 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,135 You're doing a couple's costume with your sister. 342 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,636 End of story. No way! 343 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,072 We already agreed to go as Harry and the Hendersons. 344 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,473 We're supposed to be When Harry Met Sally. 345 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:22,509 Yeah. You're Sally Henderson. 346 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,112 I can't do a couple's costume with my stupid brother. 347 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,479 What if people find out? 348 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,982 He'll be completely hidden inside the costume. No one will know. 349 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,151 BARRY: You said this costume was awesome. 350 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,386 I'm a stupid flower. Get it off me! 351 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,488 Calm down. Remember why you're doing this. 352 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,457 Ugh! Because you're making me! 353 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,826 No, 'cause you love your sister. 354 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,094 Wait. That's why? Then no! 355 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,296 I'm no one's puppet! You kind of are. 356 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,898 Lainey, this is the worst idea you've had 357 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,499 since you said yes to dating Barry. 358 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,501 I will fight you! Well, come on! 359 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,938 You just messed with the wrong... (BLEEP) 360 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,639 Both of you, shut up! This is happening! 361 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,975 No way! I'm supposed to be mocking her pain, 362 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,143 like she did with me. 363 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,311 Maybe I'll just do a little victory dance. 364 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,480 And it goes a little something like this! 365 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,482 Ooh! Take it! Take it! 366 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,652 Sweetie, the costume's only making your dance adorable. 367 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,688 Damn it. Everything I do in this costume fights my agenda. 368 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,991 Okay, we're pulling the plug. Someone get me my Cool Whip. 369 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,894 Stop it! Both of you need to suck it up and be there for each other. 370 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,195 Fine! I'll do it! 371 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,197 But only 'cause I love you, baby. 372 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,298 I love you, too. 373 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,167 Come here. Give me some sugar. 374 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,668 Get away from me! 375 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,872 ALL: Trick or treat. 376 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,807 Look at you guys, I turned on the sprinklers, and you still made it through. 377 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,143 Yeah. Happy Halloween. 378 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,013 Psst. Where's Ma? 379 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,181 She's taking Pops home. 380 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,249 Perfect. I can hit a few houses. 381 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,818 Whatever you do, do not tell Mom that... 382 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:41,889 Oh, wow. You're just walking away, don't care at all. 383 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,491 ADULT ADAM: My captor was gone for the evening. 384 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,625 Or so I thought. 385 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,727 Balls! Balls! 386 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,496 (GRUNTING) 387 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,631 Oh! Stupid clown shoes! 388 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,001 ADULT ADAM: Just like Misery, she'd come home early. 389 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,502 Come on, come on, come on! 390 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,970 Every moment counted! 391 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,572 I hadn't just written a Stephen King Story, I was living it! 392 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,482 Hey, pumpkin. 393 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,617 How's it going? 394 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,153 Just writing and making the world come alive. 395 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,022 I know you've been out, mister man. 396 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,424 No, I, I was right here the whole time. 397 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,559 My photo cube was moved, darling. 398 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,695 I always proudly display it with your picture facing out. 399 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,832 Because you're my little baby star. 400 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,800 But all I saw was this. 401 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:28,902 Photo cube. 402 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,670 This conversation is over. 403 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,738 Time to get to work. 404 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,107 Oh, God. Don't break my ankles. 405 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,675 Ankles? 406 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,377 I'm making you a pumpkin pie. 407 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,912 I got to smash up the insides. 408 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,247 Oh. 409 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,481 That's very thoughtful. 410 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,683 And you can have some once you fix the story. 411 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,019 Boop! 412 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,420 ADULT ADAM: As I remained captive, 413 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,389 Erica was trying to capture Geoff's heart. 414 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,858 Dude, sick costumes. Those put ours to shame. 415 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,560 Oh, it's not a competition. 416 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,995 It really isn't. 417 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,463 But if it was, I'd win. 418 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,631 Kind of feels like I've won. Have you? 419 00:14:58,665 --> 00:14:59,933 Who's in the plant? 420 00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,635 Oh, it's Nate, Lainey's hot cousin. He doesn't speak. 421 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,804 BARRY: Are we at the dance yet? He doesn't speak. 422 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,573 Hey, cuz, why don't you shut up 423 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,041 and come over to the punch bowl? 424 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,476 BARRY: Lunch? Great! I'm hungry! 425 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,278 See you on the dance floor? For sure. 426 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,580 So fun. 427 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,915 ADULT ADAM: Erica's plan was going perfectly. 428 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,650 BARRY: Which way am I going? No, no, Barry. 429 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,119 Barry, no... This plant is hard to steer! 430 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,887 LAINEY: Barry, no! (SCREAMS) 431 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,190 BARRY: Did I fall? I think I just fell. 432 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,392 (SIGHS) (ALL GASP) 433 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,161 Ew! Erica's date is her brother! 434 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:29,396 (ALL LAUGHING) 435 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:30,998 I... 436 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,532 Wow. 437 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:33,666 That is rough. 438 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,208 ADULT ADAM: It was Halloween night, 439 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,076 and I had finished rewriting my story. 440 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,677 How's Adam's masterpiece? 441 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,014 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 442 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:50,250 Oh, my God. You're sighing deeply because you love it! 443 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,619 Well, the story sure is different now. 444 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,755 In a good way, right? The Veeberly isn't a mom-ster at all now. 445 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,957 Yes, she's made of pure love, 446 00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:01,428 and her sole mission in life is not to fail as a mother. 447 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,464 That's why her children let her move in with them! 448 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,134 Beverly, this is wrong on so many levels. 449 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,170 Did you even see the new cover Adam made? 450 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,072 Schmoopie Loves Mommy. 451 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,174 That's a very off-putting title. 452 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,643 Mmmm... Not seeing a problem here. 453 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,578 In Adam's first story, 454 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,948 Veeberly was a complex, three-dimensional character. 455 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,083 What are you saying? 456 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:26,353 You inspired Adam. You. 457 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,156 It's the whole reason his writing worked. 458 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,557 You mean... 459 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,359 I'm his muse? Oh. No. 460 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,660 I'm his muse! 461 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,862 Actually, Stephen King is his... 462 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,931 My baby loves me and honors me with his words. 463 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,033 Not at all. 464 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,201 I have to make this right. 465 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,569 No, Veeberly... 466 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,804 I mean Beverly. Ah, damn it. 467 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,308 Erica? 468 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,609 Go away. 469 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,411 It's really not as bad as you think. 470 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,646 Please... Just leave me alone. 471 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,051 Man, she really is the Barry. (SCOFFS) 472 00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,552 No offense. No, she's the me. 473 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,455 I've never seen her like this. I can always cheer her up. 474 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,392 Well, maybe there's someone else who can. 475 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,427 Hey. (SIGHS) 476 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,029 Barry said you could use a friend. 477 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,665 And Seymour always knows how to cheer up his Audrey, right? 478 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:13,900 Not this time. 479 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,835 Come on. I've known you since, like, kindergarten. 480 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,938 There's always one thing that can cheer you up, no matter what. 481 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,974 (PLAYING PIANO) 482 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:24,877 I'm not singing, Geoff. 483 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,646 That's okay. I'll start. 484 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,349 What? You think I won't? 485 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,850 I will. I'm not afraid. 486 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,954 * Lift up your head 487 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,823 * Wash off your mascara 488 00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,057 You're really doing this, huh? 489 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,692 * Here, take my Kleenex 490 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,461 * Wipe that lipstick away 491 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,562 Oh, no. 492 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,231 * Show me your face 493 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,334 * Clean as the morning 494 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,569 * I know things were bad 495 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,172 * But now they're okay 496 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,907 Come on, I know you want to sing. I can see it. 497 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:57,277 * Suddenly Seymour 498 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:02,649 * Is standing beside you 499 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,883 Don't leave me hanging. 500 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,787 * Don't need no makeup 501 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,889 You? Never. (CHUCKLES) 502 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,293 * Don't have to pretend 503 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,362 All together now. 504 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:18,165 BOTH: (SINGING) * Suddenly Seymour 505 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:23,536 * Is here to provide you 506 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:29,008 * With sweet understanding 507 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,480 * Seymour's your friend 508 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,853 Thanks for being such a good friend. 509 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,955 Always. 510 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,564 You feeling better? 511 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,866 Kinda. 512 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,536 Geoff said you sent him in to cheer me up. 513 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,641 You know... I tortured you for years, 514 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:05,011 and you really had every right to throw it back in my face. 515 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,846 I just didn't like seeing you be the Barry. 516 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,881 You got in a plant for me. 517 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,384 You... 518 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,853 Were there for me. 519 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:17,056 If that's being a Barry, then I'm okay with that. 520 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,060 Know what a Barry would do right now? 521 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,396 Get back on that dance floor and have an awesome night. 522 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,203 You don't have to move the computer back down here. 523 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,071 You can keep it in your room if you want. 524 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,673 Not so sure writing's for me. 525 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,007 Well, I am. 526 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,179 You got Stephen King's actual address? 527 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,215 I know a few yentas in Maine. 528 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:46,118 Eh, I'm not so sure Stevie King's gonna love Schmoopie Loves Mommy. 529 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,521 Oh, God, no! I'm sending him The Veeberly. 530 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,756 But I thought you hate it. 531 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:50,990 Oh, I do. 532 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,159 (CHUCKLES) So much. 533 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,463 But you keep writing about me, about this family. 534 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,131 It may not all be true, but, uh... 535 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,367 It's pretty darn good. 536 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,105 Thanks, Mama. 537 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,541 ADULT ADAM: Sometimes we put on disguises, 538 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,243 but, fortunately, the people who love us 539 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:12,679 always know what's going on on the inside 540 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,448 and are always willing to help us get back out there. 541 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:18,918 Turns out the best stories are the ones that come from a real place, 542 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,153 the ones that come from home. 543 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,059 My name is Stephen King. 544 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:31,264 My best book was Stephen King's Skeleton Crew. 545 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:34,834 "It's great," says one auth... Says one writer. 546 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,536 It's great! 547 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,637 (SIGHS) 548 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,006 My name's Stephen King. 549 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:43,710 Most people know me for my suspenseful, chilling... 550 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,583 Beverly! 551 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,352 Where's my Sports Illustrated? 552 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,722 Don't make me read a shampoo bottle! 553 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,892 Cujo. 554 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:03,062 "Big friendly dog chases a rabbit into an underground cave, 555 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,766 "a sleeping evil crueler than death itself." 556 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,502 Oh, this ought to hold me for about nine to 16 minutes. 557 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,703 Yeah. 558 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:17,444 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) 559 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,086 (MUSIC INTENSIFIES)