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Subtitle Resync by uploadhero
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Back in the '80s, TV gave us
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some of the most
iconic friendships ever.
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Ricky had Alfonso. Natalie had Blair.
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Tattoo had Ricardo Montalban.
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But the greatest friendships of
the decade came from my family.
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Barry had his trusted Jenkintown Posse.
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I ran with the badass theater geeks.
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And we were kings of the school, kinda.
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My dad's crew was our dog,
Lucky, and his ratty old chair.
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Even my mom found a group of friends.
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They were a gang
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of busybody yentas
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who proudly called
themselves the "Frentas."
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They were known for
their power-walking,
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gossiping, and matchmaking.
[Whistle blows]
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[Chuckles] You are an expert.
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Beverly, this match is inspired.
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I know.
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I dug down deep and pictured myself
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being thanked at their wedding.
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Hey! We're sharing a private,
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supercharged, erotic moment over here!
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We've been spotted! Run! Run!
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And the height of their Frentaship
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was their weekly brunches.
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Guess who brought fresh-cut flowers.
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And guess who brought
bagels n' schmears.
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And guess who brought mimosas.
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Come on in! Sunday's funday!
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[All cheering]
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[All grunting, groaning]
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I just punished my insides.
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- I got to unbutton.
- Tummy so full.
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I'm a ticking time bomb.
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What happened to my eggs Florentine,
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crusty sausage puffs,
and fluffy Bevcakes?
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Oh, that was for you guys?
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Yes. Who else would it be for?
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We just thought someone
abandoned a four-person brunch,
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so we were like, "Let's go to town."
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It's fine. We can just have the bagels.
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- Linda, look out!
- [Gasps] They're back!
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I don't even know how they got here!
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They're like raccoons!
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Get! Get! Get!
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless, I
feel the need to say ♪
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪
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It was March 28, 1980-something,
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and me and the theater geeks
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were about to have our worlds rocked.
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[Clatter] [Group singing scales]
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Shut up! Shut up! Shut your tiny mouths!
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Not to be dramatic, but
I have mind-melting news
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that will change your lives forever!
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I am talking about
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"Joseph and the Amazing
Technicolor Dreamcoat."
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The national tour starring
triple threat David Cassidy
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is coming to Philly.
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- Did you get us tickets?
- Better.
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In each city, they hire local
kids to be the children's choir
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that sings live onstage.
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And guess who sent them a
tape of last year's Winter Jam
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and harassed them until they said yes.
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- You?
- Me!
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[All cheering]
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Holy balls!
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We're gonna tread the boards
of the Walnut Street Theatre!
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I heard the kids in Pittsburgh
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got to have bios in the "Playbill"!
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We should dine at
restaurants while we can,
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'cause soon, we're gonna
be mobbed by adoring fans.
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All of your expectations
are completely reasonable.
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Next stop, Broadway!
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[All cheering]
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Dad, I have amazing news!
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All I need is for you to
drive me to play rehearsal
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in downtown Philly during
the height of rush hour
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for the next three months.
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Oh, that was the first
time I said that out loud.
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- Can I go back?
- Wait a minute.
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This is every day? What about homework?
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Homework is for people
who can't do this.
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Stop. I'm not gonna have you flunk out
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'cause of some goofy play.
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Goofy? Okay, let me put this
in terms you'll understand.
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This would be like if I was asked
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to do a hockey thing for, like...
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What's the Broadway of hockey?
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There's clearly no answer
that's gonna work for both of us.
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Dad, it's totally unfair if you say no.
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I mean, you drive Barry
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to his wrestling
matches and hockey games.
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Well, that's completely different.
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- How?
- I like those things.
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You see the distinction?
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While my theater future looked bleak,
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Barry and his boys were watching
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their favorite movie, "Colors,"
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the story of gang life and
the friendships that survive.
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Man, I always thought "Red Dawn"
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was the most awesome movie about colors,
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but it's "Colors."
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They're a fiercely
loyal group or friends.
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They're just like us, ya know?
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I love you, JTP.
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All: JTP.
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Oh, man, I feel like
I want to hug you guys.
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But let's play football instead.
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[Giggles] Frentas al fresco.
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Does it get any better than this, girls?
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[Laughs]
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[All scream]
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That's pass interference!
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Essie Karp's big dumb
head got in the way!
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Sweet! Various cheeses.
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Oh, yeah. [All munching]
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Barry! We're having Sunday
Funday in the backyard,
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so you kids go play in the front yard.
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Fine. We'll just play at Andy's house.
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His awesome mom is always so welcoming
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and makes the best snacks.
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[Whispering] It's Barry's new
tactic to bend Bev to his will.
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Please! I make mine with
love and lots of mayonnaise.
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[Whispering] She literally
can't stand the idea
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of being replaced by another mom.
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Yeah, but she always makes
you feel at home, you know?
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My body was your home for nine months.
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Yeah, so you claim.
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Watch the master at work.
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Have fun with your
pals... Mrs. Goldberg.
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[Music played]
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Barry, wait.
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Take the backyard. [Gasps]
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My real mom's love has brought me back!
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Oh!
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Ladies, always a pleasure.
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[Sniffs]
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- JTP!
- JTP!
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[Door closes] Close call.
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They almost went to
another yard for football.
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Bev, we're your best friends.
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We help each other out
through thick and thin, right?
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- Of course.
- Then it's our job to tell you
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that boy manipulates
the hell out of you!
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- Played you like a fiddle.
- Please.
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I invented emotional
blackmail and guilt.
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That's my jam.
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Well, then he learned from the best.
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Thanks to her friends, my mom
realized she was being played.
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Meanwhile, a play about Joseph
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made my friends divas
and me the odd man out.
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Last night's rehearsal was amazing.
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I love how loose we all
get as the night wears on.
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Yeah, that's when David
Cassidy says the magic happens.
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Okay, stop the madness!
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None of you actually know David Cassidy.
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Adam! David is a colleague.
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I can't have this negativity.
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I have to perform tonight,
and if I'm not 100%,
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that's just not fair to the audience.
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I'm gonna say something
controversial, Adam.
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I think you're acting
petty 'cause you're jealous.
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Of course I am! You're rubbing elbows
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with the hottest stars
of regional theater
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and getting special treatment at school.
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Hey, when we're here,
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we're just regular
students, like everyone else.
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Okay! Time for some vocal warm-ups!
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Of course, those of
you who are in "Joseph"
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can come with me for some hot cocoa
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in the teachers lounge.
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I can't have my stars
straining their voices.
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Um, what about the rest of us?
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Oh. Uh, you have a sub this period.
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All right, you musical scrubs!
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It's my understanding that you guys are
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the theatrical equivalent
of bench riders.
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So, I'm gonna whip you into
shape with some suicide scales
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and some voice sprints.
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Those aren't real things, Coach.
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Also, I should be with the talent,
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not stuck here with these dirtbags
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who take choir for an easy "A."
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Why are you never this
fired up in gym class?
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'Cause I'm a theater geek, Coach,
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not that you'd ever understand.
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[Blows whistle] That's
a flag on the assumption!
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Really? You like musicals?
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[Stirring music plays] Last month,
my lady love, Ms. Cinoman, dragged me
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to a community college
for an evening of theater.
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I had prepared myself
for a night of misery,
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when out of nowhere,
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this troupe of cats came
crawling down the aisle.
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They were singing, dancing,
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with their athletic thighs
and their gymnastic voices.
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I wish I could remember
what that show was called.
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[Music stops] "Cats."
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No. That's not it.
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It'll come to me.
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The point is, that was the night
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my love for musical theater was born.
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That's it! If I can get
my dad to see "Joseph,"
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then he'll turn into a theater
geek and finally get me!
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All it took for me was
seeing one dancing cat show.
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I think it was called "Pets."
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"Cats"! It's called "Cats"!
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All right, smarty pants!
Drop and give me 20!
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20 what?
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Monologues. Stage laps.
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No, wait! Vocal tongue
twisters! Move it!
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Mommy made me mash my M&Ms.
Mommy made me mash my M&Ms.
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Mommy made me mash my M&Ms.
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As my theater dreams crumbled,
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my mom and the Frentas were
standing strong against Barry.
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Aw, Bar?
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The moms are back, and this time
they have Donkey Kong hammers.
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Mom, today's the JTP Bowl!
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Go play your lady golf somewhere else.
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And so the great
Goldberg turf war began,
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and only one gang of friends
would be left standing.
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[Chuckles]
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Sorry, Pickle. Your end
zone is now our brunch zone.
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00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:52,501
Fine. Then we'll all go
play at Naked Rob's house.
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His awesome mother always greets us
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with Ecto Coolers, Pringles, and hugs.
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Once again, Barry used
his latest technique
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of emotional manipulation
to trap my mom.
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But for the first time ever,
she didn't take the bait.
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[Chuckles] You were
cutting it close there.
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00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:08,550
We were about to head
over to Mrs. Naked's house.
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Say "hi" to the Nakeds for me.
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But, you're supposed to beg me to stay
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and try to match or beat
the snack offer of Pringles.
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Well, my friends made me
realize you've been playing me.
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Well, you know what I think?
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Those "friends" of yours
are a bad influence!
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Please! You don't even know 'em!
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Believe me, I've lived a long time.
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I know a bad apple when I see one!
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Pfft! I can be friends
with whoever I want!
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Don't you walk away
from me, Young Lady Mom!
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♪
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Okay, I'm putting my foot down.
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This is our yard, so please go!
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Your yard? Oh, no, honey.
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00:08:39,808 --> 00:08:41,574
This yard belongs to us now.
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Let's make one thing clear.
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This turf belongs to the JTP.
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JTP!
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00:08:47,349 --> 00:08:48,915
Only turf I see belongs to us.
253
00:08:49,017 --> 00:08:50,683
- Ain't that right, Frentas?
- Frentas!
254
00:08:50,752 --> 00:08:52,218
Oh, no. They did a call-and-response.
255
00:08:52,287 --> 00:08:53,286
Took us years to get there.
256
00:08:53,355 --> 00:08:54,487
Here's an idea.
257
00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:57,323
Why don't you run inside
and fix Essie a fresh mamose.
258
00:08:57,425 --> 00:08:58,725
You hear that, JTP?
259
00:08:58,793 --> 00:09:01,694
They think we work for them!
260
00:09:01,796 --> 00:09:04,597
[Laughter]
261
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,838
No, bro. It's two parts
O.J. to one part champagne.
262
00:09:12,906 --> 00:09:14,873
Okay, everyone stop!
263
00:09:14,942 --> 00:09:15,974
What is going on right now?
264
00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:17,776
Seems like your mom
turned the tables on you
265
00:09:17,878 --> 00:09:19,544
'cause her friends
helped her learn and grow.
266
00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:22,147
Well, then, we must seek
guidance from the only person
267
00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:24,249
who knows how to outsmart
Beverly Goldberg...
268
00:09:24,318 --> 00:09:26,985
My sister, Erica.
269
00:09:27,087 --> 00:09:28,820
No.
270
00:09:28,889 --> 00:09:30,989
So... no Erica? At all?
271
00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,324
That is all we're gonna get.
272
00:09:32,393 --> 00:09:34,226
Aw. But I was really looking
forward to seeing her this week.
273
00:09:34,295 --> 00:09:36,128
Well, if you think about
it, she's off at college,
274
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,362
so it really makes no sense
275
00:09:37,431 --> 00:09:39,398
why she'd be involved in any of this.
276
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,399
So, now what?
277
00:09:40,501 --> 00:09:42,334
Now we take our yard back.
278
00:09:42,436 --> 00:09:45,237
We're in a real-life turf war, JTP,
279
00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:47,639
two rival gangs going head-to-head,
280
00:09:47,741 --> 00:09:49,207
just like in that movie "Colors."
281
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:51,143
I don't think this
is anything like that.
282
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,312
We were there first, and they
came and took our backyard.
283
00:09:53,414 --> 00:09:54,579
What's different?
284
00:09:54,682 --> 00:09:56,948
"Colors" is an incredibly
real and poignant movie
285
00:09:57,051 --> 00:09:58,550
about socioeconomic factors
286
00:09:58,652 --> 00:10:00,185
that created a political
tinderbox within...
287
00:10:00,287 --> 00:10:01,620
Now you get it!
288
00:10:01,722 --> 00:10:03,855
We're in a real-life war, just
like in that movie "Colors."
289
00:10:03,957 --> 00:10:06,158
Guys, we live in the
suburbs of Jenkintown.
290
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:07,559
It's super offensive to compare our...
291
00:10:07,661 --> 00:10:10,429
Bro, just get on board.
He's not letting this one go.
292
00:10:11,832 --> 00:10:13,765
Fine. We're in a turf war.
293
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:14,833
- "Colors"!
- "Colors"!
294
00:10:14,935 --> 00:10:15,834
- "Colors"!
- "Colors"!
295
00:10:15,936 --> 00:10:17,469
"Colors," I guess.
296
00:10:22,658 --> 00:10:25,172
I was on a mission to
make my dad a theater geek.
297
00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:26,772
But there was only one way to get him
298
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:28,962
to actually watch a musical... lie!
299
00:10:29,064 --> 00:10:30,764
Dad, I have amazing news!
300
00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:33,133
You say that a lot,
but it never pans out.
301
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:35,135
Oh. Then I guess I can't
interest you in these...
302
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:36,603
hockey sport tickets!
303
00:10:36,671 --> 00:10:38,638
Wait. You got us Flyers tickets?
304
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:40,874
It does say that on
the envelope, so yes.
305
00:10:40,976 --> 00:10:42,208
The two of us together?
306
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:44,177
Listen, I'm always pushing
you to understand my stuff,
307
00:10:44,246 --> 00:10:45,712
so, for once, I thought
it'd be cool for you...
308
00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:46,646
Whoa!
309
00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:48,348
Thank you. This means everything.
310
00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:50,150
- Oh, boy.
- All my life,
311
00:10:50,218 --> 00:10:52,552
the only way I knew how to
connect with other people
312
00:10:52,621 --> 00:10:53,820
was through sports.
313
00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:55,288
A hug. That's unexpected.
314
00:10:55,357 --> 00:10:57,157
And when I realized
you had no interest...
315
00:10:57,259 --> 00:10:58,525
This is a really long hug.
316
00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:00,293
I just didn't know how to get close.
317
00:11:00,395 --> 00:11:01,628
But now I can!
318
00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:04,063
The important thing is, I
bought us tickets to something.
319
00:11:04,132 --> 00:11:05,298
Doesn't matter what.
320
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,734
You know, once you discover
the magic of hockey,
321
00:11:07,836 --> 00:11:09,302
then you'll see what I see,
322
00:11:09,404 --> 00:11:11,004
and you'll become a true puck head.
323
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:12,605
Kind of like how seeing a musical
324
00:11:12,707 --> 00:11:13,907
could turn you into a theater geek?
325
00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:15,108
[Laughs]
326
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:16,776
You know, normally, I
don't get your jokes,
327
00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:18,178
but it's already working!
328
00:11:18,246 --> 00:11:22,115
Oh-oh-oh, man. I am so looking
forward to this hockey game.
329
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:24,249
Me too!
330
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:25,551
Mmmmmwah!
331
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,086
This is a really long hug.
332
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:29,488
Coach!
333
00:11:29,557 --> 00:11:31,957
My plan backfired, and now if I
don't take my dad to the Flyers,
334
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:32,958
I'll break his heart!
335
00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:34,126
I'm on my shake break.
336
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:35,661
Don't you have any other
friends you can talk to?
337
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,162
They're all in "Joseph."
338
00:11:37,231 --> 00:11:39,097
Please help me find sports tickets.
339
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,699
What's the TKTS of hockey?
340
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,167
All right, I'm gonna help you out here.
341
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,769
I share season tickets to the Flyers
342
00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:45,270
with 16 other gym teachers.
343
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,505
You'd do that for me?
344
00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:49,174
No. I'd do it for my
lady love, Ms. Cinoman.
345
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,676
This musical is her creative vision,
346
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:51,743
and I got to support it.
347
00:11:51,846 --> 00:11:53,312
All she did was send in a tape.
348
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,616
I think you and I both know
she's the heart of this show.
349
00:11:57,685 --> 00:12:00,352
[Gulping]
350
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:03,922
So much egg, beets thick.
351
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,258
Thanks to Mellor, I
scored some hockey tickets.
352
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,194
Meanwhile, Barry was evening
the score with the Frentas.
353
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,596
It's now or never, boys.
354
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,364
We're not just at war for our turf,
355
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,866
we're at war for our honor.
356
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,734
Again, there is no war...
357
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,436
Just a minor disagreement
with your mother.
358
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,072
And we're taking that mother down.
359
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:25,109
♪ Colors, colors,
colors, colors, colors ♪
360
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:28,813
♪ I am a nightmare walkin',
psychopath talkin' ♪
361
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,815
♪ King of my jungle,
just a gangster stalkin' ♪
362
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,383
♪ Livin' life like a firecracker ♪
363
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,784
♪ Quick is my fuse ♪
364
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,853
♪ Then dead as a death
pack, the colors I choose ♪
365
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,356
♪ Red or Blue, Cuz or
Blood, it just don't matter ♪
366
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,992
♪ Sucka die for your life
when my shotgun scatters ♪
367
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,629
♪ Colors ♪
♪ The gangs
of L.A. will never die ♪
368
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,397
♪ Just multiply, colors ♪
369
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,366
♪ Colors, colors ♪
370
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,402
You guys lose something? Like your turf?
371
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:53,370
JTP!
372
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:54,371
All: JTP!
373
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:55,872
♪ Colors, colors ♪
374
00:12:55,974 --> 00:12:58,475
♪ Colors, colors, colors ♪
375
00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,844
Ladies, choose your weapons.
376
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,612
♪ Colors, colors ♪
377
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,848
♪ My pants are
saggin', braided hair ♪
378
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,317
♪ Suckas stare, but I don't care ♪
379
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,753
♪ My game ain't
knowledge, my game's fear ♪
380
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:12,422
♪ I've no remorse,
so squares beware ♪
381
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:14,991
♪ But my true mission
is just revenge ♪
382
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,627
♪ You ain't in my set,
you ain't my friend ♪
383
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:20,564
♪ Wear the wrong color,
your life could end ♪
384
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,532
Uh, Bar?
385
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:24,634
I think we lost the turf war.
386
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:26,536
♪ Colors, colors, colors ♪
387
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,238
♪ Colors, colors ♪
388
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,839
What am I looking at right now?
389
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,107
It's a gazebo.
390
00:13:31,209 --> 00:13:33,677
And that's French for "Eat [bleep]."
391
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,278
[Laughs]
392
00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,446
- Ouch.
- It's over.
393
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:38,481
- Told you.
- Incredible craftsmanship.
394
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,383
♪ Colors ♪
395
00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:43,085
[Organ music plays]
396
00:13:43,187 --> 00:13:46,655
I am so jealous of you,
your first hockey game.
397
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:47,823
[Chuckles] There's nothing like it!
398
00:13:47,892 --> 00:13:49,592
Must be like opening
night at the theater.
399
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,926
Not that you would know.
400
00:13:51,028 --> 00:13:52,795
Yeah, I was super bummed
to be watching ice sports
401
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:55,431
instead of toe-tapping musical theater.
402
00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:57,066
But then something magical happened.
403
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,001
Whoa. So fast and effortless.
404
00:13:59,103 --> 00:14:00,869
That's Tim Kerr, left wing.
405
00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:02,771
He's like the Ben Vereen of skating.
406
00:14:02,873 --> 00:14:03,906
Go, go, go!
407
00:14:03,975 --> 00:14:06,675
I discovered hockey kicks ass!
408
00:14:06,777 --> 00:14:07,876
Ohh!
409
00:14:07,979 --> 00:14:09,712
You suck, Winnipeg Jets!
410
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,180
Oh, my God, they're the Jets!
411
00:14:11,282 --> 00:14:12,948
It's like "West Side Story" on ice!
412
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:16,018
Thanks to my dad, I
became a true hockey nut...
413
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,921
Standing ovation! Standing ovation!
414
00:14:19,023 --> 00:14:20,322
...with a lot to learn.
415
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:23,058
Oh, yeah! The gloves are coming off!
416
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,660
I love hockey!
417
00:14:24,762 --> 00:14:26,495
I love hockey!
418
00:14:26,564 --> 00:14:28,097
Now I know why Barry never takes off
419
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:29,632
this dumb Flyers shirt.
420
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,368
It's like I'm part of the team,
and I want everyone to know it.
421
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,970
I can't take it. This
is too much, too fast.
422
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,872
I'm gonna give you a hug! [Chuckles]
423
00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:38,340
And you know what's even better?
424
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:40,676
When you go to "Joseph" and
I teach you about what I love!
425
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:41,744
WazdaJoseph?
426
00:14:41,846 --> 00:14:43,512
We just learned something incredible.
427
00:14:43,581 --> 00:14:45,414
I tried your thing, which
I thought I would hate,
428
00:14:45,483 --> 00:14:47,016
- but I loved it!
- That's true.
429
00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:48,250
Think about it like this.
430
00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:50,285
How did you feel when Dave
Brown was sent to the box
431
00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:52,488
for cross- checking when we
already had the power play?
432
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:53,956
I was on the edge of my seat.
433
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:57,026
And that's how you'll feel when
Potifar unfairly jails Joseph.
434
00:14:57,094 --> 00:15:00,162
I can't believe that analogy
completely makes sense to me.
435
00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:02,765
'Cause I love hockey.
We can communicate now.
436
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:03,832
See how important this is?
437
00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:05,334
Okay! I'll go see the thing.
438
00:15:05,436 --> 00:15:07,202
- To the theater!
- I'm gonna give you a hug!
439
00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:08,837
I'm gonna let ya!
440
00:15:09,906 --> 00:15:12,073
Okay, JTP.
441
00:15:12,142 --> 00:15:15,243
Today, we face a rival gang the
likes of which we've never seen.
442
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:17,879
They're crafty, they're
pushy, they're old.
443
00:15:17,947 --> 00:15:18,846
What do we do?
444
00:15:18,948 --> 00:15:20,014
I got it!
445
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,249
Moms love laundry, right?
446
00:15:21,351 --> 00:15:22,583
So we bring in a basket of clothes
447
00:15:22,686 --> 00:15:24,419
and have them fight
over who gets to fold it.
448
00:15:24,487 --> 00:15:26,454
Or we tell them
the floor's dirty,
449
00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:29,157
watch them scrap over who gets
to mop it to a brilliant shine.
450
00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:32,994
Or we say only one of
them has the privilege
451
00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:35,863
of making us an afternoon snack,
and then we watch them fight.
452
00:15:35,965 --> 00:15:37,165
Um, guys?
453
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:39,000
Your plan is predicated on the idea
454
00:15:39,102 --> 00:15:41,035
that these moms love
cooking and cleaning,
455
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,537
and I don't think they do.
456
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:44,238
Buzzkill Bradley strikes again.
457
00:15:44,307 --> 00:15:45,940
What does "predicated"
even mean? You suck!
458
00:15:46,009 --> 00:15:48,668
All right, fine. Just do...
Just do the laundry thing!
459
00:15:51,205 --> 00:15:52,838
You realize those boys
are upstairs right now,
460
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:53,839
plotting against us?
461
00:15:53,907 --> 00:15:55,974
Let them try. We're inseparable.
462
00:15:56,043 --> 00:15:58,643
I am so glad that you finally
stood up for yourself, Beverly.
463
00:15:58,712 --> 00:16:00,312
Oh, well, that's all thanks to you guys.
464
00:16:00,414 --> 00:16:02,080
No! You deserve the credit
465
00:16:02,182 --> 00:16:04,015
for putting that bratty
little jerk in his place.
466
00:16:04,118 --> 00:16:06,118
[Chuckling] Whoa! Okay.
467
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:07,386
Let's not go crazy.
468
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,221
Essie's right... Barry can act like
469
00:16:09,323 --> 00:16:10,889
a bit of a poop head sometimes.
470
00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:14,025
My child's head is not
made of poop, Ginzy.
471
00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:16,728
I mean, do you ever hear me
call your son a dirty man-tramp?
472
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:18,163
'Cause he so is one.
473
00:16:18,265 --> 00:16:20,265
How dare you. Drew is a gentleman.
474
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:21,700
Girls, stop. Let's just agree
475
00:16:21,769 --> 00:16:23,635
that both of your sons are meh at best.
476
00:16:23,737 --> 00:16:26,371
Oh, please, Linda. Your precious
little Geoffy is part of this, too.
477
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,516
Well, that's just Barry's bad influence.
[Indistinct arguing]
478
00:16:29,551 --> 00:16:31,843
And so they all broke the
cardinal rule of Frentaship,
479
00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:34,212
never rip on someone else's child.
480
00:16:34,314 --> 00:16:37,015
Baaad news, ladies!
481
00:16:37,117 --> 00:16:38,917
We got a lot of laundry,
482
00:16:39,019 --> 00:16:40,919
and only one of you gets to fold it.
483
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:42,053
I'm sorry.
484
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:43,989
No, that's fine, Barry.
They were just leaving.
485
00:16:44,091 --> 00:16:45,257
- Fine by me.
- Perfect!
486
00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:46,625
These bubbles are mine!
487
00:16:47,594 --> 00:16:48,493
[Door slams]
488
00:16:48,595 --> 00:16:50,295
What just happened?
489
00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:54,266
I can't have people in my
life who disrespect my kids.
490
00:16:54,368 --> 00:16:56,468
The yard's all yours.
Have fun with your friends.
491
00:16:57,805 --> 00:17:00,272
Does anyone else feel
really bad right now?
492
00:17:00,374 --> 00:17:01,807
- Yeah.
- I do.
493
00:17:01,909 --> 00:17:04,376
Doesn't feel so good to win a turf war.
494
00:17:04,478 --> 00:17:05,710
Colors.
495
00:17:05,813 --> 00:17:06,878
Colors.
496
00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:09,514
It's really nothing like it.
497
00:17:11,051 --> 00:17:14,256
You've got to shut up. It's not...
498
00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:18,472
Now that I shared my
dad's love of hockey,
499
00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:20,652
it was time for him to fall in love
500
00:17:20,704 --> 00:17:22,737
with the glory that is musical theater.
501
00:17:22,806 --> 00:17:25,273
Man, I am so jealous
of you right now,
502
00:17:25,342 --> 00:17:26,741
your first musical.
503
00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:28,043
There's nothing like it.
504
00:17:28,111 --> 00:17:30,946
You know what? I think
this won't be so bad.
505
00:17:31,014 --> 00:17:32,080
With that,
506
00:17:32,149 --> 00:17:33,815
Andrew Lloyd Webber's opus began,
507
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:36,017
and my dad was totally digging it...
508
00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:37,452
for about 10 seconds.
509
00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:39,054
After that, he was squirming.
510
00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:41,690
These seats are so small.
It's worse than an airplane.
511
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,525
And he was hungry.
512
00:17:46,997 --> 00:17:47,996
Let me do it.
513
00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:50,465
And finally, he was sleepy.
514
00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:53,034
Very, very...
515
00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:54,936
incredibly sleepy.
516
00:17:56,073 --> 00:17:57,872
Dad! Wake up! It's the curtain call!
517
00:17:57,975 --> 00:18:00,609
Ah. Great. Let's go.
518
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,749
I've never felt such
exhaustion in my life.
519
00:18:08,851 --> 00:18:09,984
Exhaustion?!
520
00:18:10,052 --> 00:18:11,251
You slept through half the show
521
00:18:11,354 --> 00:18:12,987
and missed all the best Pharaoh songs!
522
00:18:13,055 --> 00:18:14,622
That's another thing...
What's with all the singing?
523
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,090
It's a musical!
524
00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:17,725
Who sings that much? Who does that?
525
00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,593
Just think. There had to
be something that you liked.
526
00:18:19,662 --> 00:18:21,595
Yeah, that part in the middle
where I thought it was over.
527
00:18:21,697 --> 00:18:22,930
The intermission?!
528
00:18:23,032 --> 00:18:24,665
What do you want from me?!
529
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:26,300
I don't get theater, Adam.
530
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,435
[Sighs] Then you don't get me.
531
00:18:28,537 --> 00:18:30,404
So, theater wasn't my dad's thing.
532
00:18:30,473 --> 00:18:32,773
But seeing me so hurt
made him do something
533
00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:34,541
I never thought was possible.
534
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:37,745
Class, a very angry
parent has informed me
535
00:18:37,813 --> 00:18:41,682
that some of you felt excluded
from the "Joseph" tour.
536
00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:46,020
So, to make it right, I hereby
change the school musical
537
00:18:46,122 --> 00:18:47,721
to "Joseph" instead of "Cats."
538
00:18:47,823 --> 00:18:48,889
[Laughter]
539
00:18:48,991 --> 00:18:50,457
"Cats"! That's the title!
540
00:18:50,559 --> 00:18:52,726
My coat of many colors, please.
541
00:18:52,795 --> 00:18:54,228
It's got sleeves, if
you want to use them.
542
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:56,063
I'm fine.
543
00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:59,733
♪ I closed my eyes ♪
544
00:18:59,802 --> 00:19:03,404
♪ Drew back the curtain ♪
545
00:19:03,506 --> 00:19:07,307
♪ To see for certain ♪
546
00:19:07,410 --> 00:19:10,678
♪ What I thought I knew ♪
547
00:19:11,746 --> 00:19:13,046
Dad, wait!
548
00:19:14,382 --> 00:19:16,215
You got her to do "Joseph"?
549
00:19:16,317 --> 00:19:17,717
But you didn't even like it.
550
00:19:17,819 --> 00:19:19,118
For sure.
551
00:19:19,187 --> 00:19:21,521
But you finally got me to
see how much it means to you.
552
00:19:21,623 --> 00:19:23,623
I did? How?
553
00:19:23,692 --> 00:19:26,392
I guess now we're
speaking the same language.
554
00:19:26,494 --> 00:19:28,494
I, uh...
555
00:19:28,596 --> 00:19:30,096
I'm gonna hug you now.
556
00:19:30,165 --> 00:19:32,832
Again? We already
hugged twice this week.
557
00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:38,571
Well, now it's a hat trick.
558
00:19:38,673 --> 00:19:41,174
♪ Wonderful and new ♪
559
00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:43,675
Hey.
560
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:46,278
Shouldn't you be out brunching,
croqueting, or power-walking?
561
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:48,880
Well, that's not very
fun when you're alone.
562
00:19:48,982 --> 00:19:51,550
Mom, don't be mad at your
friends for calling me out.
563
00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:53,652
They only did that 'cause
they care about you.
564
00:19:53,754 --> 00:19:54,653
I know.
565
00:19:54,755 --> 00:19:56,855
But after that fight...
566
00:19:56,924 --> 00:19:58,690
there's just no turning back.
567
00:19:58,759 --> 00:20:01,560
Then I guess now you
can only move forward.
568
00:20:01,662 --> 00:20:03,295
♪ A flash of light ♪
569
00:20:03,397 --> 00:20:05,063
♪ My golden coat... ♪
570
00:20:05,165 --> 00:20:07,432
Wow. Hi.
571
00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:09,334
I can't believe you all came back.
572
00:20:09,436 --> 00:20:11,803
Well, Barry made us realize
573
00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:13,805
that nothing comes between friends.
574
00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:16,274
I thought you said they
were a bad influence.
575
00:20:16,376 --> 00:20:17,709
And that's why they're great for you.
576
00:20:17,811 --> 00:20:20,212
♪ May I return ♪
577
00:20:20,314 --> 00:20:21,379
[Laughter]
578
00:20:21,482 --> 00:20:25,784
♪ To the beginning ♪
579
00:20:25,853 --> 00:20:28,053
Thanks to Barry, my
mom had her crew back,
580
00:20:28,155 --> 00:20:31,123
and the great Goldberg
turf war came to a close.
581
00:20:31,225 --> 00:20:33,825
To be clear, it was nothing
like the movie "Colors."
582
00:20:33,927 --> 00:20:35,227
But in my world,
583
00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:37,295
a coat of many colors
was more alive than ever.
584
00:20:37,397 --> 00:20:39,164
That's my son!
585
00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:42,267
Look at him bow! Look at him go!
586
00:20:42,369 --> 00:20:44,836
Sure, my dad never did
grow to love the theater,
587
00:20:44,938 --> 00:20:46,538
but when the cast was just right,
588
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,307
he was finally able to change his tune.
589
00:20:49,409 --> 00:20:52,344
'Cause when you got family
and friends by your side,
590
00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:54,513
life truly is a journey worth taking.
591
00:20:54,615 --> 00:20:57,249
♪ Any dream will do ♪
592
00:20:57,709 --> 00:20:59,860
_
593
00:21:01,895 --> 00:21:03,354
Which of you is most
like your TV counterpart?
594
00:21:03,456 --> 00:21:05,756
- Andy Cogan.
- Yeah, it's me.
595
00:21:05,858 --> 00:21:07,691
[Ding]
596
00:21:07,794 --> 00:21:09,660
Mine's too good-looking,
'cause I'm ugly.
597
00:21:09,762 --> 00:21:12,062
[Ding]
598
00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:14,064
Yes, I was the one who
always got the girls,
599
00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:15,766
so I always got good dates.
600
00:21:15,868 --> 00:21:17,584
[Ding]
601
00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:19,616
But he is sensitive and loyal,
602
00:21:19,769 --> 00:21:21,762
which I am... sensitive and loyal.
603
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,592
And I get naked.