1 00:00:00,739 --> 00:00:06,180 [Adult Adam] Back in the '80s, audiences loved the John Candy movieUncle Buck, 2 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,139 about a ne'er-do-well uncle called upon to watch his brother's kids. 3 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,576 But nobody loved it more than me and my brother Barry. 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,665 He washed clothes in the microwave 5 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,841 and dried them on the ceiling fan! 6 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,887 He's a menace, and you root for him! 7 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:20,194 His garbage car is spewing smoke on the school carpool! 8 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,326 The children are coughing! They're in harm's way! 9 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,372 Turn that crap off. 10 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:27,070 My pregnant brain hates that blathering idiot. 11 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:30,291 She'd be much obliged if you'd kindly watch your film elsewhere. 12 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,510 I'm her awfulness-to-politeness translator. It's been a full-time job lately. 13 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,772 [Erica] Mom! 14 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,426 What do you need, Schmoopy-Doo? 15 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,341 Let mama bird cater to her life-giving 16 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,430 -baby bird's every need. -I'm here, too. 17 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,736 You know, for when my wife needs catering. 18 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,564 How ya feeling, Pumpkin? 19 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,566 Ready to pop that baby into my waiting arms? 20 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,090 That sounds nothing like our four-page birth plan. 21 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,571 Right now all I want is for someone to turn off this dumbness. 22 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,007 How dare you ask us to turn off 23 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,835 John Candy's number-one comedy film 24 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,706 in the subcategory "Babysitting"! 25 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,318 Oh, I love him in that one movie with the guy. 26 00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,450 You know, um, eh, the one with the face. 27 00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:02,714 Uh, Adam knows what I like. 28 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,542 -[sighs] Stripes. -That's the one! 29 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:07,328 Oh, he is comedically unhealthy 30 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:08,894 and shouldn't defend this country. 31 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,983 He's not just hilarious. 32 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,594 He's also teaching us how to be uncles. 33 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,987 The only thing that clumsy oaf is teaching anyone 34 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,207 is to never leave your kids alone for a minute. 35 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,730 Why is he feeding beer to a dog? 36 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,080 'Cause he's recklessly hilarious! 37 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,864 No one is safe from his antics. 38 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,474 Do you dopes really think 39 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,215 this is an okay way for uncles to behave? 40 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,651 -With all my heart.-I'd stake your unborn child on it. 41 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,653 Okay, well, that seals it. 42 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,612 You two will neverbe allowed anywhere near our baby. 43 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,875 -Whoa! -Whoa, indeed! 44 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,834 How do you expect us to "Uncle Buck" a baby from afar? 45 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,575 I don't want my baby to be "Uncle Bucked." 46 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,839 Cheggit. He made a pancake so huge, 47 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,493 he's serving it with a shovel. 48 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,843 Breakfast has never been more zany! 49 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,411 Well, that's actually the only appealing thing about this whole movie. 50 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,021 Geoff, make me that pancake. 51 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,285 Uh, I wish I could, my cranky angel, 52 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:53,461 but I don't think anyone's ever made a pancake that large. 53 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,115 [in singsong voice] Get it while it's hot! 54 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,073 -Didn't even see her leave. -What in the hell? 55 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,422 She literally bends time! 56 00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,381 You're the best, Mama. 57 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:01,991 Thank God someone sees to my wants and needs. 58 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,645 Hurtful to the man who was up all night 59 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,473 scratching your unreachables. 60 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,214 I want some of that impossibly large morning entree. 61 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,216 Me too! Giant flapjack me! 62 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,608 Mama! Geoff! Circle the wagons! 63 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,175 Protect my cake! 64 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,177 Unh! Ow! Ow! 65 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,005 ♪♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪♪ 66 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,355 ♪♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪♪ 67 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,534 ♪♪ I don't know the future ♪♪ 68 00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:27,059 ♪♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪♪ 69 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,540 [Adult Adam] It was October 19th, 1980-something, 70 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:32,804 and life for our family was about to change forever. 71 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,502 -It's time! Go! Go! Go! -Gah! 72 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,547 It's 3:00 a.m.! What the hell? 73 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,158 Your water broke! You're having a baby! 74 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,463 I should put on pants! 75 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,812 There's no time. Is that a nightgown?! 76 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:41,857 It's a floor-length sleep shirt! 77 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,119 I have sleepy-time heat issues! 78 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,642 Get your sweats, your comfy shoes, 79 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,905 take this framed photo of me for bedside inspiration. 80 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,690 Go! Go! Go! Go! 81 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,039 Wait. How did you know my water broke? 82 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,650 Uh, I heard it from my bedroom. 83 00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,913 It was like a rolling, gushing sound 84 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:57,786 like, uh-- like the waves on the North Shore of Hawaii. 85 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,744 Okay, I'll never know the mysteries of the female body, 86 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,833 but wouldn't Erica be aware of her water breaking? 87 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,662 Enough chit-chat! We're wasting valuable seconds, people! 88 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:07,012 Is this another one of your stupid drills? 89 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,797 Fine. It isa drill, and you both failed miserably. 90 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,668 Had this been the real thing, 91 00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,061 we wouldn't have even made it to the hospital. 92 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,541 I'd be yanking a baby out of my daughter 93 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:14,977 on the front lawn of the Kremps' house. 94 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,153 What a haunting suburban tableau. 95 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,590 Mom, enough with the drills. 96 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:20,504 Well, it's important to be prepared. 97 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:21,940 Hopefully you'll do better next time. 98 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,594 Don't let there be a next time! 99 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,466 You're right. No more drills. 100 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,467 [chuckles] 101 00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:27,772 So don't expect one. 102 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:30,558 -[door closes]-I can't go back to sleep. 103 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,689 My heart is still pounding. 104 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:32,690 You know what I want, Geoff? 105 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,301 What, Schmoo? 106 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,476 -I said "Geoff"! -She said "Geoff"! 107 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,305 Sorry! I thought you said "Bev"! 108 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,176 Okay, just let me know if you need me, all right? 109 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,830 I mean, of course, you need me, 110 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,224 but I am talking about, you know, in the immediate sense. 111 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,791 Just checking in on needing me. 112 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,881 Huh? No? Okay. Here I go. 113 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,193 Okay. Well, what I want is to get my giant body in water. 114 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,629 Okay. So should I run a bath? 115 00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,804 You mean the one that we share with Barry 116 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,850 and all of his body hair? 117 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,505 So, like, the pool at the Jewish Community Center? 118 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,985 I don't want to swim where a rabbi's wife teaches water aerobics. 119 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:10,075 I want a babymoon. We still have three weeks. 120 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,121 Take me away somewhere I can float and feel weightless. 121 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,905 Your wish is my command. 122 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,646 Although it may be hard to find a place 123 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,779 to float in Philadelphia in the fall, 124 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,955 so is there by chance a backup wish/command? 125 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,086 Just make it happen. 126 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,479 On it, my surly dove. 127 00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,221 Whatever you do, promise me that... 128 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,137 [softly] she is nowhere near us. 129 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,226 Well, it is famously not easy to get away from your mom. 130 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,314 Mom what? I heard "Mom." 131 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,359 -Gah! -Go! 132 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,317 Fun mistake. Okay. 133 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,276 I'll just wait right outside this door 134 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,494 for the inevitable calling of my name. 135 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:38,887 [chuckles] 136 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,674 [Adult Adam] As Erica desperately wanted to dodge my mom, 137 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,023 Barry and I went straight to his friends 138 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,547 for some uncle-ing advice. 139 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,027 JTP but not lame Adam. 140 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,203 [all] JTP but not lame Adam. 141 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,770 Hard to not feel deeply wounded, but nice to see you, fellas. 142 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,424 No pleasantries! 143 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,688 -The JTP's time is too valuable. -Not really. 144 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,299 You called me away from a mixer with upper management. 145 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,431 Because it is important, Matthew. 146 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:04,173 Our sister said we would be "garbage uncles" 147 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,827 and we won't be allowed near her baby. 148 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,829 We have three weeks to figure out 149 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,352 how not to suck at uncle-ing. 150 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,049 -Why us? -It seems intuitive. 151 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,399 For this, I basically handed 152 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,270 the Head of Regional Sales job over to Lydia? 153 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,663 Well, you're here now, 154 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,186 so let's start with, "What is an uncle?" 155 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,230 -The husband of an aunt. -Mother's brother. 156 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:19,971 A cousin's male parent. 157 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,886 -Your half-sister's stepdad. -A father's brother. 158 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,279 Your dad's friend who doesn't have his own kids. 159 00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,194 And famous uncles? 160 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,805 Uncle Vanya, the titular character from the Chekhov play. 161 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:28,937 Only word I heard is "titular." 162 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,330 [chuckles] Next. 163 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,157 Scrooge McDuck. Hah! 164 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,811 All that money, and he couldn't fine peace. 165 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,379 A personal hero. But I hate feathers. Next! 166 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,338 Uncle! Like when you tap out 167 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,687 and stop trying to think of famous uncles. 168 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:43,168 Wow! All truly terrible examples. 169 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,909 You're no longer leading this crucial meeting, Adam. 170 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,824 I wasn't sure why we were here until now, so that's fine. 171 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,610 JTP, tell us how to become good uncles. 172 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,568 My Uncle Phil calls me cool nicknames 173 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:54,832 like "Sport," "Champ," and "Superstar." 174 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,747 It's possible he doesn't know my name. 175 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,140 My uncle let me drive his car. Oh, that's fun. 176 00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,576 Like, when you were 15 or something? 177 00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,143 No. No. Recently. 178 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,666 Uh, I think his license is suspended 179 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,364 and I just taxied him around. 180 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,496 Keep it coming, guys. There are no bad ideas. 181 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,934 I know. Why don't we go to the park, right? 182 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,634 And use candy to lure children into Matt Bradley's van 183 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,853 so we can practice uncle-ing on them? 184 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:19,248 When I said "no bad ideas," clearly I was off by one. 185 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,728 What if you practice on Andy? 186 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:21,685 He's the side of an average baby. 187 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:22,991 [groans] Come on, man. 188 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,949 Maybe you guys are overthinking this. 189 00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,212 My brain's pretty jacked, so that happens a lot. Continue. 190 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,389 Erica is going to be an anxious mother with a newborn. 191 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,129 She might just want you to be responsible adults 192 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,609 who are always there for her. 193 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,916 Matt Bradley, please stop punishing us 194 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,787 with your nonsense. 195 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,441 Look, don't you guys have an uncle? 196 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,791 We do, and he's a real piece of work. 197 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,750 [Adult Adam] I was talking about our Uncle Marvin. 198 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,056 He was just as much of an unpredictable loose cannon 199 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,362 as Uncle Buck. 200 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,885 -[both chuckle] -He's the worst. 201 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,234 Can't do anything right. 202 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,671 There's your answer. Why don't you just do 203 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,063 the opposite of what your uncle would do? 204 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,500 I guess that could maybe work. 205 00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,545 [Adult Adam] And so we sort of had a plan. 206 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,373 Which was to learn at the feet of the master 207 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,288 hownot to be an uncle. 208 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,899 Hey! My nephs came to visit! 209 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:04,032 Wait a minute. How did you find me? 210 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,512 Your address was on the "if any left over" section 211 00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:06,948 of our mom's holiday-card list. 212 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,733 Aww. Well, that's not nothing. 213 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,213 Is that the truck from "The Fall Guy" 214 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,041 in your depressing carport? 215 00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,739 Yeah, it's the official show-sanctioned replica. 216 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,655 No way. That truck is TV-vehicle royalty. 217 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,788 Big-time, and now it's mine, 218 00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,790 pending payment of outstanding DMV fees. 219 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,488 Enter. My house is your house. 220 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,969 But it also might not be my house. 221 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,710 The stupid city doesn't consider it a legal dwelling. 222 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,714 Man! Am I glad to see you boys. 223 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,064 You know, ever since your dad left us, 224 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,066 I've been trying to think of ways 225 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,328 that I could be more involved in your lives. 226 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,156 What about ever visiting or calling? 227 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,375 Ohh! Monday morning quarterback. 228 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,681 Look who's got all the answers now. 229 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,117 Here's the thing. 230 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:47,989 Erica's baby is due in three weeks, 231 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,817 and we need to learn how to be good uncles. 232 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,123 Oh, my God. I am beyond touched. 233 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,211 You want the Uncle Marvin playbook. 234 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,561 Sure. Let's say it that way. 235 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,302 Celebratory sodas all around! 236 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,869 [Adult Adam] While we had come to the right place, 237 00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,002 the same couldn't be said for Geoff and Erica. 238 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,091 Here we are, my swollen princess. 239 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,875 It's so steamy and damp. Where are we? 240 00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,790 You're at Tubs of Love, 241 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,314 where consenting adults come to do whatever they want. 242 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,012 [clicks tongue]Why did he wink? 243 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,796 Geoff, I need so many answers. 244 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:13,710 Well, you said you wanted to float in water 245 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,146 without your mother. 246 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,148 So I made both those wishes come true. 247 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,585 Good sir, where do we change? 248 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,412 Changing rooms are back there, 249 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,632 but just so you know, we are a clothing-optional resort. 250 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,591 Resort? All I see are a bunch of skanky hot tubs 251 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,593 with couples in them. 252 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,725 No, that guy's there by himself. 253 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,292 Correction-- his tub-mate just surfaced. 254 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,250 And so few people opted for clothing. 255 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,296 Geoff, how did you find this place? 256 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:37,299 In the Yellow Pages, under "Indoor Water-Themed Adult Experiences." 257 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:40,476 Our rate is 20 bucks an hour or 30 for a themed tub like 258 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,609 "Desert Oasis" or "When in Rome." 259 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:45,220 Ooh! "When in Rome" sounds fun. Shall we? 260 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,743 Ew. No, we shan't. 261 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,224 Geoff, pregnant ladies can't even go in hot tubs. 262 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,313 This was a giant swing and a miss. 263 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,097 Oh, dear Lord, there are threepeople in that tub. 264 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,099 Yeah, they fit up to eight open-minded and slippery bodies. 265 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,840 I'm gonna make something very clear. 266 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:59,582 I want to go home, never come back here, 267 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,062 and somehow surgically remove the part of my brain 268 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,325 where the memory of this place is stored. 269 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:04,848 Thank you for your hospitality. We'll be leaving now. 270 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,502 -Tell your friends! -Seems unlikely. 271 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,505 Ohh...no. 272 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,289 What is it, my grumpy peach? Are you hungry? 273 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,161 -I think my water just broke. -Are you sure? 274 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,771 I mean, the floor is already covered in-- 275 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,033 I don't really want to know. 276 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,558 Yes, I'm sure, Geoff! It's happening! 277 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,820 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 278 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:20,647 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 279 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,913 [Adult Adam] It was happening. My sister was going to have a baby, 280 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,437 just nowhere near the hospital where she and Geoff had planned. 281 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,700 Okay. The doctor's on his way in. 282 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:31,962 Oh, we don't need the doctor. 283 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,311 We just need to get to our own hospital. 284 00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,357 Oh, you're not going anywhere. [chuckles] 285 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:40,275 Dudes! We're having a baby! Up top! 286 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,146 Left a bro hangin'. Not cool. 287 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,106 Um, why is the doctor wearing Air Jordans and a Swatch? 288 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,109 Did our baby somehow sneak out of me and throw a lab coat on? 289 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,546 Good one! I'm Dr. Schiff, but everyone calls me Scotty. 290 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,200 Or Schiffy. Or Scoot. 291 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,897 Or the occasional Dr. Butthead. 292 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,638 Yeah, I can see that for you. 293 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,248 Sorry. You just look very-- 294 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:58,989 Young? Yeah, I get that a lot. 295 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,296 But rest assured-- I'm a professional. 296 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,473 Okay. Let's have a looky. 297 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:08,477 Whoa! You are wicked dilating. 298 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,045 -Scooty Scoot, could you give us a minute? -Totally. 299 00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,743 I'll just go crush a quick round of "Centipede" in the break room. 300 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,440 I cannot have Doogie Howser's younger brother 301 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,833 -deliver our baby! -Okay, I'll go find another doctor 302 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,139 who might be more unlike a child. 303 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,575 And also I need my mom. 304 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:20,881 Ooh, here's the thing about that. 305 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,491 Why is there a thing about that? 306 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,232 Remember when you told me to plan this babymoon 307 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,973 and you didn't want her to be a part of it? 308 00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,801 I did something to ensure that she wouldn't be around. 309 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,933 Oh, Geoff, so help me, if you killed my mom-- 310 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,936 No, but I may have indicated that we were going to the beach house. 311 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,895 You sent her an hour in the other direction? 312 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,810 Possibly. And also yes. 313 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:40,117 -Get her here! Now! On it, -my demanding flower. 314 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,946 [Adult Adam] Geoff's mission was clear-- get my mom to the hospital, 315 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,382 -no matter how far away she was. -[phone rings, beeps] 316 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,906 -Hello, Geoffrey. -How'd you know it was me? 317 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,385 Who else knows I'm here? 318 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,387 Listen. Mrs. G, I can explain. 319 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,825 No need to explain. You didn't want me crashing your babymoon, 320 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,478 so you told me it was here at the beach house. 321 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,132 I'm so sorry, but in my defense, 322 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,568 doesn't the fact that you went there 323 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,918 to crash our babymoon vindicate me? 324 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,876 The [bleep] it does, Geoffrey! 325 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,140 My daughter is about to give life in three weeks. 326 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,446 I want to be with her. 327 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,883 About that. Um, Erica's in labor! 328 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,406 What? I know. Yay. 329 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,191 Also, we're in the one-doctor town of New Hope. 330 00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,454 Well, that's two [bleep] hours from here! 331 00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,195 Again with the salty language. 332 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,892 But if you leave now, maybe you can make it. 333 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,851 She's crossing her legs, so you never know. 334 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,157 That's a great idea, but, uh, when I first got here, 335 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,203 I was so hurt by what you'd done to me 336 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,248 that I drank an entire bottle of Chablis 337 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:27,338 that my neighbor had carelessly left in her garage fridge. 338 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,776 -Oh, no! -You drove me to the bottle, Geoff! 339 00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,952 Okay. I'll send Barry and Adam to pick you up. Just sit tight. 340 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,737 To be clear, when I finally do see you, 341 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,434 you and I have some very unfinished business. 342 00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,915 That's the scariest kind of business! 343 00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,743 [Adult Adam] As my mom was gonna teach Geoff a lesson, 344 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,224 Opposite Uncle School was in session. 345 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:45,269 Compadres, I am going to teach you 346 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:48,142 how to be the greatest uncles in...the...world. 347 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,970 Are...you...ready? 348 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,275 -Hell yes! -You know it! 349 00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,887 I gotta check out these scratchers first. 350 00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,672 Lesson number one-- uncle-ing happens on yourtime. 351 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,719 "On our time." Got it. 352 00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:03,940 Damn it! I was three cherries away, man! Three! 353 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,464 [Adult Adam] Yep, we were about to learn everything not to do. 354 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,249 Think about it. The kid's parents aren't gonna 355 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,773 bail on him for holidays and birthdays, 356 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,341 so it leaves the door wide open for youto bail on them. 357 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,257 "Bail on significant life events." 358 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,041 Another important function of the uncle 359 00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:21,131 is to provide a loophole around the "legal drinking age." 360 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,612 "Play fast and loose with our nation's laws." 361 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,092 Where's the queen? Where's the queen? 362 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,397 Where can it be? Where can the queen be? 363 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,051 Is it over here? Can the queen be here? 364 00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:30,097 The queen is here. Is it here? Where's the queen? 365 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,315 I'm so convinced she's on the left, 366 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,100 I will up my bet to $20. 367 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:34,841 -Ooh, wrong again. -Damn it! 368 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,364 That was my textbook money! 369 00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,801 Now it's my chicken-fried steak money. Ba-bam! 370 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,151 "Swindle children without remorse." 371 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,588 Most uncle-ing happens around the margins. 372 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,547 -[sniffs] -Baby's first R-rated movie? 373 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,070 -[fingers snap]-That's where you come in. 374 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,637 Baby needs a diaper change? 375 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,725 -[fingers snap] -That's where you go out. 376 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:50,813 You getting all this? 377 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:51,945 "Be the worst." Got it. 378 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,555 Okay, let's recap. 379 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,513 If the kid's birthday is April 10th, 380 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,080 when should your card arrive? 381 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,474 -Never. -Cards are a gateway to gifts. 382 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:02,912 And now you know all the knowledge known to man. 383 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,306 Why does your notepad say "opposite"? 384 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,655 Uh... 385 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:08,831 Uh... 386 00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,355 Uh... 387 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,272 "Never do the following." 388 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,926 Geez, Bar! You could have been 389 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,798 a bit more savvy with your note-taking. 390 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,322 Did you two come here to learn how notto be uncles? 391 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,803 Uncle Marvin, it's nothing personal. 392 00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,543 We think you're the greatest. 393 00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,589 You're super fun, like our own Uncle Buck. 394 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,634 Except, you know, not exactly a model 395 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,288 of reliability and follow-through. 396 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:35,031 So I'm a joke. A dope. A screw-up. 397 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,554 See? He gets it. 398 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,252 [telephone rings] 399 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:39,862 Can I call you back? 400 00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,603 I gotta pull this knife from my chest. 401 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,910 Huh? Y-Yeah. 402 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,390 Hold on. It's for you. Sounds like someone real sweaty. 403 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,218 Geoff? 404 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,524 Oh, thank God! The JTP said you were there 405 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,395 getting "opposite uncle lessons"? 406 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,136 Don't explain. Your sister's having a baby. 407 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,703 You need to get your mom. 408 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,313 She drank too much ice wine at the beach house. 409 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,749 The New Hope hospital. 410 00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,490 -New Hope. Got it! -[receiver hangs up] 411 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,536 We gotta jam. Erica's having a baby. 412 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,843 Congrats! Oh, wow. 413 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,888 That sounds like something that I might kinda 414 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,455 want to be a part of. 415 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,326 But only on your own time. 416 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,242 Yeah. No obligations, right? See you whenever. 417 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,983 [Adult Adam] As we were off to get our mom, 418 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,943 Geoff finally had everything under control. 419 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,466 Barry and Adam are on their way to get your mom 420 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,989 and bring her here, and I talked to Scotty. 421 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,599 Turns out he just took over the practice 422 00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,166 from his recently retired father, 423 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,472 so I had him ask his dad to come in. 424 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,517 -Oh, phew. -Greetings! 425 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,999 You must be, uh, Greta and...Eric? 426 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,959 Uh, it's Geoff and Erica. She's Erica. 427 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:36,005 Confound it. Where did I put my bifocals? 428 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,789 -That's Scotty's father? -[door closes] 429 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,443 Was it, like, a second marriage? 430 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,576 Isn't there a generation in between? Or two even? 431 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,404 I don't know their family history. 432 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,101 I'm learning in real time 433 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,624 that they represent the extremes of the age spectrum. 434 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,365 I want my mom. I want my mom now! 435 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,367 She's coming, but in the meantime, 436 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:51,803 I found some other comforting adults. 437 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,153 Mazel tov! 438 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,937 We couldn't be more excited! 439 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,417 Absolutely not. 440 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,418 But they're my parents. 441 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:58,985 And I'm a man of medicine. 442 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,988 You work on eyes! Go help our blind doctor! 443 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,947 -We'll be in the waiting room. -She's very scary! 444 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:07,254 [Adult Adam] While storm clouds were brewing over the delivery room, 445 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,908 Barry and I were driving our mom 446 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,561 through some pretty steady rain. 447 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,302 Thank you, boys, for picking me up. 448 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,043 Of course, Mama. Nothing could stop us 449 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,436 from getting you to that hospital. 450 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:16,654 [engine revs] 451 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,526 What the-- 452 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,745 Damn it! We're stuck in mud! 453 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,138 -[horn honks] -Dirt's wet cousin! 454 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,620 [crying] No! 455 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,231 Okay, this is lightly on me for saying nothing could stop us. 456 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:35,412 [Adult Adam] Erica's baby was coming any minute, 457 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:38,720 but we weren't going anywhere, so Barry swung into action. 458 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:42,245 My Lou Ferrigno-like strength will get us out of this mess! 459 00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,334 Hit it, Adam, and I'll push! 460 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:47,381 One! Two! 461 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,730 Three! 462 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,037 [engine revs] 463 00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:54,518 Oh, no. 464 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,347 My contemporary stylish pants! 465 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:58,783 And we're deeper in. 466 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,917 Get over. Get over. Ugh! 467 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,485 Well, thank you for trying, boys. 468 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,443 You did good. Unlike Geoffrey. 469 00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:08,315 Oh, don't be so hard on him, Mama. 470 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,317 Yeah, that nervous nerd means well. 471 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,710 Oh, I will be plentyhard on him. 472 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,582 He made me miss the birth of my grandchild 473 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,106 and future best friend! 474 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,804 [Adult Adam] Yeah, all hope was lost, and then this happened. 475 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,850 -[brakes squeal] -Oh, no! 476 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,460 It's an unsophisticated rural type! 477 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:24,940 He'll know we're not from these parts 478 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,202 and make quick work of us city folk! 479 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,248 What-- Duck down! 480 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:30,250 Ow! I'm not limber enough! 481 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,643 Damn my careless attitude towards exercise! 482 00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:34,341 Adam, Adam, tempt him with your soft eyes 483 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,082 so I can hit him with my shoes, okay? 484 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,475 No, I won't be your hillbilly bait. 485 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,174 Adam, just befriend the country gentleman 486 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,654 so your brother can sucker-punch him with his footwear! 487 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,440 It wasn't a good plan, but fortunately, we didn't need it. 488 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,398 -Marvin? -How's it going? 489 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,835 -What are you doing here? -I'm rescuing my family. 490 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,924 Was I cool? It sounded cool. 491 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:56,232 [laughs] Let's ride! We got a baby to meet! 492 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,973 Hah! That was really fun to say. 493 00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,409 You saved us, Uncle Marvin! 494 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,107 I know. I'm trying to be a better uncle. 495 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,630 How about I go to the hospital with you guys? 496 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,415 -We'd love that! -For sure! 497 00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,765 [Adult Adam] Sure, he may have been a screw-up like Uncle Buck, 498 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,290 but that night, Uncle Marvin was a hero, 499 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,901 and not a moment too soon. 500 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,251 -Oh, God, it hurts! -I'm so sorry, my love. 501 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,297 I would take all the pain if I could. 502 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,168 I wish you could, too. All of it! 503 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,518 -Erica, it's time. -Time? 504 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,998 Oh, you mean the thing that you don't have much left of? 505 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,304 Sorry. The pain and my failures 506 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,566 have made my lady-love very direct. 507 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,133 She's here! 508 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:28,569 You may have this baby now. 509 00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,266 Mom! 510 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,139 Beverly Goldberg. Mama of the mama. 511 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,445 Babe, you did it. Thank you. 512 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,360 I love you so much. 513 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,189 Doctor, if you need help, I'm almost a doctor. 514 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,191 I'm not at all a doctor, and I just accidentally 515 00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,714 saw some stuff, so I'm gonna wait outside. 516 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:47,022 You all need to wait outside, except for the husband! 517 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:51,200 And her. She stays, too. 518 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,029 [Adult Adam] Despite being stuck hours away in the pouring rain, 519 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,684 we'd pulled off a miracle. 520 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,381 Sure, she wasn't thrilled with Geoff, 521 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,689 but in that moment, all my mom could think about 522 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,734 was that her baby was about to have a baby. 523 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:09,044 ♪♪ Oh, thinkin' about our younger years ♪♪ 524 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,484 ♪♪ There was only you and me ♪♪ 525 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,139 ♪♪ We were young and wild and free ♪♪ 526 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:22,492 ♪♪ Now nothing can take you away from me ♪♪ 527 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,063 ♪♪ We've been down that road before ♪♪ 528 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,327 ♪♪ But that's over now ♪♪ 529 00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:35,244 ♪♪ You keep me comin' back for more ♪♪ 530 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:38,682 ♪♪ Baby, you're all that I want ♪♪ 531 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,077 ♪♪ When you're lyin' here in my arms ♪♪ 532 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,862 ♪♪ I'm findin' it hard to believe ♪♪ 533 00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,255 ♪♪ We're in heaven ♪♪ 534 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:52,218 ♪♪ And love is all that I need ♪♪ 535 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,220 ♪♪ And I found it there in your heart... ♪♪ 536 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,047 [Dr. Schiff] Here we go. And push. 537 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,919 ♪♪ It isn't too hard to see ♪♪ 538 00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,008 -[groaning] -♪♪ We're in heaven ♪♪ 539 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,705 [Adult Adam] And just like that, the person 540 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,186 we had all been waiting for finally arrived. 541 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,710 It's a girl. 542 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:10,714 That day, the world welcomed a new Goldberg. 543 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:14,675 Everyone, meet Muriel Allison Goldberg Schwartz. 544 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,678 Muriel, after Murray. 545 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,854 Is Allison for Albert? 546 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,030 You know it. 547 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,946 Pops would be so proud. 548 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,688 [Adult Adam] Yeah, in a year filled with too many goodbyes, 549 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,430 this was a hello that brought us all together, 550 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,693 even those of us no longer here. 551 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,738 'Cause nothing fills you with hope 552 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,958 more than a brand-new baby. 553 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:39,265 Mrs. G, I-I need to apologize. 554 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,789 [gasps] Geoffrey, you shut your sweet mouth. 555 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,270 After what you've given me today, 556 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,055 you don't ever need to apologize to me again. 557 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,839 ♪♪ It isn't too hard to see ♪♪ 558 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,407 Oh, so beautiful. 559 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:54,932 Perfection. Sheer perfection. 560 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,717 [Adult Adam] She really was. 561 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,067 Muriel changed all our lives that day. 562 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,721 You dopes want to hold your niece? 563 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,766 -Seriously? -Could we? 564 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,508 [Adult Adam] I'd never held a baby before. 565 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,990 I couldn't believe how tiny and warm and sweet she felt 566 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,732 and how I could immediately love someone I just met. 567 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,343 I know what I said before, 568 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,302 but you two are going to be amazing uncles. 569 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,738 How could we not? 570 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:18,869 We learned from the best. 571 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,873 I do what I can. 572 00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,224 [Adult Adam] Yeah, our family had gone through a lot that year, 573 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:28,314 but that's the amazing thing about life. 574 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,360 Just when you think things will never be okay again, 575 00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:34,537 here comes a miracle that proves you way wrong. 576 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887 I'm a bubbe! 577 00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,325 And that is pretty damn awesome. 578 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:50,031 I think we all can agree that Uncle Buck did one thing right, 579 00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,989 and that's the giant pancake. 580 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:54,601 -Big is beautiful. -He wasted so much food! 581 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,386 But why stop there, when there are so many other meals 582 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,258 that we can enlarge to their atomic breaking point? 583 00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:00,911 Let us begin! 584 00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:05,176 Behold the McMarvin quarter tonner! 585 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:06,482 -I don't know where to put my mouth. -I do. 586 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:07,831 I always do. 587 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,662 Two gallons of Rocky Road carefully molded 588 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,099 into a single scoop of creamy deliciousness. 589 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,971 Sorry, belly, you're in trouble. 590 00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:19,060 Nuts and marshmallows for days! 591 00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:20,322 Meatballs! 592 00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,585 Oh, yeah. Get the sauce. 593 00:21:22,759 --> 00:21:24,108 -Mmm. -Should the middle be this pink? 594 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,414 Or this cold? 595 00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:29,288 Bigger is not better. Movies have failed us! 596 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:29,940 Ohh!