1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,253 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s, no one hosted Thanksgiving 2 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,796 like my mom. 3 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,465 From turkey to taters, her dinners were legendary. 4 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:09,134 And no one loved them more than me and my brother, Barry. 5 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:12,304 It's 24 hours until Thanksgiving, 6 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,181 and soon we will stuff our faces 7 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,183 to the point of overwhelming nausea -- 8 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,476 just like the pilgrims first did 9 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,186 many years ago. America! 10 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,438 We overeat to honor those who cannot, 11 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,649 which is why I created a food plan 12 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,526 so we can ensure our stomachs are properly expanded. 13 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,655 Wake up at 3:00 A. M. to eat 1.75 Toaster Strudels? 14 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,573 It is crazy how much I'm learning in med school. 15 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,367 Beverly, we're here. 16 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,494 Hi, Linda. Here ya go. 17 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,287 Why are you giving away the dishes 18 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,622 that hold my Thanksgiving foods 19 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,457 before they enter my mouth and fill my belly? 20 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,959 Well, it felt weird to have Thanksgiving here 21 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,252 without your dad, 22 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,170 so I told Linda she could host it. 23 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,797 Oh, Lou, grab a dish. 24 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,215 Sadly, I cannot. 25 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,717 I sprained my wrist opening jars for Linda. 26 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,553 He has very sensitive joints. That's why I mow the lawn. 27 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,973 Enough with your obviously fractured marriage. 28 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,766 I heard the word "jars". 29 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,477 You do know everything must be homemade from scratch, 30 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,437 including 12 in-season fruit pies? 31 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,106 And that means fruit from trees, Linda. 32 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,483 Boys, be nice! 33 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,319 What her food lacks in taste it more than makes up for 34 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,488 with its disturbing presentation. 35 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,156 Thank you. Wha-- Wait, what? 36 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,450 Mom, you can't do this to us. 37 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,618 This blows. 38 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,120 I have nothing to be thankful for, 39 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,746 except all the world has given me. 40 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,373 Dad wouldn't want this. Lou: The boy's right. 41 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,792 No one hated Linda's cooking more than Murray. 42 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,419 Maybe the best way to honor Dad 43 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,628 this year for Thanksgiving 44 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,213 is to have it right where it should be -- 45 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,881 right here at home. 46 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,009 Oh, it's sweet how much it means to you two. 47 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,594 So what do you say, Mama? 48 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,596 Well, it's a lot of work in a short amount of time, 49 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,306 but... 50 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,641 Thanksgiving is back at the Goldbergs'! 51 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:40,892 Huzzah! Yes! 52 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,352 Thanksgiving is saved from Linda! 53 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,021 Lou. [ Grunts ] 54 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,856 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 55 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:49,067 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 56 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,695 -- Captions by VITAC -- 57 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,155 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 58 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,950 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 59 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,578 It was the day before Thanksgiving, 1980-something, 60 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,164 and while the rest of us had to wait to stuff ourselves, 61 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,124 my niece had already started her feast. 62 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,709 Erica, I'm desperately seeking 63 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,085 my "Desperately Seeking Susan" video and -- 64 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,420 Sister parts! 65 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,005 I'll come back or not. Please, don't go. 66 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:11,757 I could really use some human interaction. 67 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,384 Seems to me you're having a very intense human interaction. 68 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,803 Well, I would talk to Geoff, but he's not here. 69 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,679 You know where he is? 70 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,847 Somewhere he's not confronted 71 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,390 with the mysteries of the female body? 72 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,142 The twerp's actually out for a run. 73 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,518 Good for him, moving his body. 74 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,228 Not my bag, but some people swear by it. 75 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,230 He's training for the Turkey Trot. 76 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,565 Living his best life. 77 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,275 Meanwhile, I'm cooped up here every morning. 78 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,319 [ Cooing ] Shoot, I lost track. 79 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,196 Do you remember which breast she was on when you came in? 80 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,074 You really can't sense other people's discomfort, can you? 81 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,326 Baby, younger baby, guess what. 82 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,078 Five miles in under 32 minutes. 83 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,205 That's awesome or terrible. 84 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,374 It's a sport, so I famously don't know the ins and outs. 85 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,334 Here I was thinking that having a baby would slow me down. 86 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,002 If anything, my times are improving. 87 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,796 Great story. Well told. 88 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,006 Oh, and I borrowed your Vaseline for my nipples. 89 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,675 Runner's World said that it helps prevent chafing, 90 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,051 which I was starting to have an issue with. 91 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:59,012 Oh, were your nipples a source of discomfort? 92 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,389 But no more, thanks to a generous glop 93 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,640 of medicinal jelly. 94 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,474 Okay. Get the [bleep] out. 95 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,934 What? What? 96 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,977 I said get out of here and take a shower, you maniac. 97 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,312 Oh, right. [ Chuckles ] 98 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,855 Yeah, back in a bit. 99 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,315 God, I have so much energy. Whoo! 100 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,694 What about me? 101 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:17,155 I'd like to run, but no, I'm a lonely dairy cow. 102 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,907 And do lonely dairy cows get to run? 103 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,867 I'm gonna say...no? 104 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,494 No, we don't. 105 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,038 We just sit here smelling like spit-up and despair 106 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,749 while the life force is literally drained from us. 107 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,792 And what's drained from me 108 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,752 is the desire to ever drink milk again. 109 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,254 Goodbye. 110 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,339 While Erica overflowed with resentment, 111 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,258 Barry and Pop-Pop were gobbling up 112 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,592 some Thanksgiving entertainment. 113 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,302 God, I love the parade. 114 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:42,180 The Clydesdales, the floats, Ed McMahon. 115 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,890 It's basically perfect entertainment. 116 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,517 At last year's, a Rockette got cold. 117 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:46,852 You can't top that. 118 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,312 The grocery store was a zoo. 119 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,690 I had to fight a woman for a yam. 120 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,067 [ Chuckles ] The only thing that got candied was her ass. 121 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,403 Your hands look full, so I'll help you out by telling you now 122 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,488 I'd like a whole picnic watermelon for lunch. 123 00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,906 Barry, it's November. 124 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,658 Cubed, no seeds, in a glass bowl 125 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,368 so I can make sure you made no mistakes. 126 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,664 Whoa, are we eating that yellow dingbat from "Sesame Street"? 127 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,040 We need a big one. 128 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,542 Marvin's bringing a lady, 129 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,752 and I think it's a real girlfriend this time 130 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,671 and not a bail bondswoman. 131 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,339 Marvin and some Jezebel? 132 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,758 Now I gotta say no to giving money to two idiot grifters. 133 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,677 I have faith that this year will be different. 134 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,305 Let's give Marvin and his likely shifty girlfriend a chance. 135 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,598 Well, you do what you want. 136 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,600 I'm stashing my wallet in the toilet tank. 137 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,562 Tell your mom not to seat me near Marvin or his strumpet. 138 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,855 Probably won't pass that on. 139 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,065 We have real problems brewing with Erica. 140 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,569 Yeah, she's really open with the common area feedings. 141 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,071 We also need a better labeling system for milk in the fridge. 142 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,490 Yeah, human bodies are insane, 143 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,158 but I mean she's gonna ruin Thanksgiving. 144 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,076 Apparently, she's resentful 'cause Geoff is running. 145 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,995 Same thing with Uncle Marvin and Pop-Pop, 146 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,789 except not at all about running. What do we do? 147 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,373 Clearly, we have no choice 148 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,334 but to insert ourselves into their problems 149 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,086 and make sure Thanksgiving is a peaceful triumph, 150 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,505 or Mom will never want to host it again. 151 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,381 She's been through too much this year. 152 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,258 We have to make it a joyous holiday 153 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,427 free of conflict and strife. 154 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,221 For Mom. Yes, for Mom. 155 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,472 But also for us. 156 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,265 A future of eating Linda Schwartz's 157 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,975 Ritz Crackers appetizer? 158 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,060 She just fans them out. 159 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,645 I'll handle Uncle Marvin and Pop-Pop, 160 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,688 you fix this Erica-Geoff drama. 161 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,899 We're gonna save Thanksgiving for our beautiful mother. 162 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,150 [ Breathes deeply ] 163 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,819 What is going on with my fruit? 164 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,986 While Barry was gonna iron out the kinks 165 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,738 with Marvin and Pop-Pop, 166 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,699 I was gonna smooth over Geoff and Erica's troubled marriage. 167 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:25,742 There's the guy. 168 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,035 Oh, what fun banter. 169 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,370 Are we brothers-in-law 170 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,871 or brothers-in- closeness-and-affection? 171 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,206 Small talk over. 172 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,124 Listen, you want your wife to be happy 173 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,168 and not secretly resentful, right? 174 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,212 Oh, no! Major conversational tone change. 175 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,840 Erica's super jealous you get to go running all the time. 176 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,466 So she wants to run? 177 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,301 I mean, Muriel was really going to town on her, 178 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,761 so I wasn't completely present, 179 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,596 but she wouldn't stop talking about running. 180 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,723 Okay. I know just what to do. 181 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:52,519 And so, armed with my limited and inaccurate information, 182 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,271 he did this. 183 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,732 "Excited for you to get out there! 184 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,109 Love, Geoff." 185 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,445 What the hell is this? 186 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,240 Whoa! Top-of-the-line running shoes! 187 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,658 He wants me to run, does he? 188 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,118 Well, I'll run all right. 189 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,703 Great, run! 190 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,872 But why did the room get so much colder? 191 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,540 Geoff thinks he's gonna win that stupid race tomorrow? 192 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,459 But, oh, no, another turkey has entered the Trot. 193 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,837 Love the determination, but, reality check, 194 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,881 it's very unlikely you can run a race faster than him. 195 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,507 Why the hell not? 196 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,217 For one, he's a real runner, and earlier I saw you 197 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,261 eating a chicken pot pie in the bathroom. 198 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,347 I am a mother! I have to multi-task! 199 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,057 And maybe this present has given me the edge 200 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,310 because now I have rage -- 201 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,520 the rage of a new mom who's just been called out 202 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,230 by her husband for being out of shape. 203 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,815 Ohh! 204 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,192 Is that what's happening right now? 205 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,694 Runner boy is going down. 206 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,654 ♪♪ 207 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,448 [ Breathing heavily ] 208 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,409 Here I go. 209 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,288 I might not have saved Thanksgiving. 210 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,457 While Erica was setting out on a hate run, 211 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,292 Barry was determined to keep things friendly 212 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,793 between Pop-Pop and Marvin. 213 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,045 [ Doorbell rings ] Marvin's here. 214 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,546 Be nice, Pop-Pop. 215 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,840 Eh, I was nice once, wasn't for me. 216 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,552 Barry, thank you for having us. 217 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,887 I brought flowers. 218 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,722 Probably picked 'em from his neighbor's garden. 219 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,474 These are store-bought! 220 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,184 They're wrapped in that fancy brown paper 221 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,269 like a dirty magazine. 222 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,064 Good afternoon, Father. You're looking trim and hale. 223 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,649 And the yellow cardigan really brings out 224 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,317 the jaundice in your eyes. 225 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,778 Trying the ol' pickpocket, huh? 226 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,237 Joke's on you, kid. 227 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,073 I hid my wallet, and I don't even remember where. 228 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,784 Uncle Marvin, where's this new girlfriend of yours? 229 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,911 She's parking the Celica. Celica? 230 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,663 Don't you have some dumb vehicle 231 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,915 that perfectly illustrates your terrible decision-making? 232 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,792 I don't know what you mean. But he did. 233 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,669 There was a DeLorean, a red guy, 234 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,003 one he called "The Lady", 235 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,922 and, of course, the car from "Knight Rider." 236 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:46,800 Sure, in the past, I was fond of a big swing 237 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,427 in the transportation department, but no more. 238 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,304 Toyota is the modest gal for me. 239 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,140 Speaking of modest gals. 240 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,477 [ Quietly ] Hello. Don't be shy, sweetie. 241 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,270 She was a chatterbox all the way here. 242 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,980 I was counting mailboxes. 243 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,442 [ Chuckles ] What a peach! This is Martha. 244 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,611 Hit 'em with the million-watt smile. 245 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:11,032 Marvin, oh, it's so good to see you! 246 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,368 [ Gasps ] And who is this vision in brown? 247 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,994 Mom, this is Martha. 248 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,330 Why don't you take her and her green beans into the kitchen 249 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,998 and show her how you get yours extra creamy? 250 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,960 Oh, well, the trick is -- heavy on the heavy cream. 251 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,712 [ Chuckles ] I don't get it. 252 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,213 What, are you on the run or something? 253 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,631 And what's with this disguise? 254 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,508 This is what I wear now. I'm a bank teller. 255 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,093 Someone put you in charge of money? 256 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,053 [ Chuckles ] I don't believe it. 257 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,723 Quick, what's the interest rate on a high-yield CD? 258 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:37,058 8.2% compounded semi-annually. 259 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,394 Crap, that's too boring to follow up on. 260 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,229 I understand how you might be skeptical. 261 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,189 I've given you plenty of reason to feel that way. 262 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,275 But things have changed for me. 263 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,985 Martha's given me a fresh start. 264 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,195 She's given me reason to be a better man. 265 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,655 I just wish you could be happy for me. 266 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,949 I suppose if you're happy with this mousy broad, 267 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,200 then I'm happy, too. 268 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,037 Whoa. 269 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,663 Pop-Pop's mouth crinkled up a little, 270 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,082 and it probably wasn't from indigestion. 271 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,876 You must be feeling pretty good. 272 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,253 I hate my miserable life. 273 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,717 It was Thanksgiving. 274 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,468 Geoff and Erica were gearing up for the Turkey Trot. 275 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,469 Hey, you two! 276 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,678 Everyone in here getting along 277 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,763 and running for all the right reasons? 278 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,389 Oh, you know it. 279 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,100 It's just me, my two legs, and the open road. 280 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,019 Melting away the worries of the day. 281 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,396 Your teeth are gritted, but I'm just gonna chalk that up to, 282 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,273 let's say, runner's high? 283 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,900 Oh, speaking of which, I'll catch up with you guys later. 284 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,027 I want to get a pre-run run in before the real run. 285 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,320 Bye. Oh. Bye. 286 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,824 So you're really gonna rage-run against your husband 287 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:35,784 in a holiday race for charity? 288 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,035 Oh, no. 289 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,328 When I fell going up the stairs yesterday 290 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,788 and couldn't get up for half an hour, 291 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,414 I had time to come up with a new plan. 292 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,791 Celebrate a peaceful Thanksgiving 293 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,958 with everyone you love, I hope? 294 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,251 Get this. 295 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,170 He'll come home with his first place medal, 296 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,671 naturally I'll be infuriated. 297 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,714 Sure, that tracks. 298 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,424 But I'm gonna let my fury simmer. 299 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,134 Not simmering fury! 300 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,178 Until we're all sitting down to say what we're thankful for. 301 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,514 And I'll say, "I'm not thankful for anything, 302 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,141 because my piece-of-crap husband only thinks about himself!" 303 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,601 That is not at all in the spirit 304 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,520 of a traditional Thanksgiving toast! 305 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,897 Oh, once I see that medal around his neck, 306 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,358 I'm gonna come in first for ruining Thanksgiving. 307 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,984 Barry: Caw-caw, caw-caw. Adam! 308 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,486 Consider being a good person 309 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:14,155 while I attend to the whippoorwill in our hallway. 310 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,990 Out here. Bird sounds. 311 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,283 [ Whistling ] 312 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,244 Ad-Rock, we've got a real problem. 313 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,411 Can't be worse than my thing. 314 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,913 Uncle Marvin hates his boring life 315 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,081 and is crying in the basement. 316 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,332 I was wrong! 317 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,000 This is gonna be a complete disaster! 318 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,586 But Mom needs a peaceful and loving Thanksgiving. 319 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,213 Great news! 320 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,673 The 18 sticks of butter 321 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,091 I jammed under the skin of the turkey 322 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,759 have finally dissolved, 323 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,679 but there's no one more juicy and delicious than my boys. 324 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,721 Oh, yeah, we are. 325 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,348 You get everything right, Mama. 326 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,058 Oh, I have to say I'm really glad you convinced me 327 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,726 to have the meal here. 328 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,228 Mwah! 329 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,271 Mwah! 330 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,358 Crap, did you see the light in her eyes? 331 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,193 I don't wanna snuff out Mama's light! 332 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,695 But if Geoff wins this race, 333 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,530 Erica's gonna blow up Thanksgiving. 334 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,448 Unless you run that race. 335 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,449 Me run what now? 336 00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,993 I'd easily do it myself, 337 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,744 but I'm tied up with Marvin and Pop-Pop. 338 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,121 Wha-- I can't beat him. 339 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,497 He's been training all month, 340 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,416 and my body isn't equipped for more than strolling. 341 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,669 And you've been training for this your entire life. 342 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,547 Being Cowboy #3 in "Oklahoma!", 343 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,133 standing next to a cone when you had that job once, 344 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,178 and other relevant memories from your past that prove my point. 345 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,264 Are you saying that even though my upper torso is that of a boy, 346 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,099 my legs are somehow built for speed? 347 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,894 Adam, I'm almost a doctor, 348 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:29,606 so I am confident that my confidence in you is valid 349 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,483 and in no way a trauma response to me seeing our uncle cry. 350 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,068 Fine! 351 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,695 I'll save the day by dishonoring Geoff 352 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,739 so our sister will not confront their marital issues. 353 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,657 So Barry convinced me I could win. 354 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,201 Whether he could convince Marvin 355 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,411 that his life was on track was a taller order. 356 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,579 I don't get it. 357 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,957 You got a great job, you got a gre-- 358 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,751 grown lady, 359 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,253 and you smell less like ground beef than usual. 360 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,130 My stupid boss said I had to cover up 361 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,798 my natural scent with cologne 362 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,760 because it was "confusing Judy's seeing-eye dog." 363 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,094 It's a step in the right direction. 364 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,598 My musk is my thang, bro. 365 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,934 Do you know what I pray for every single day? 366 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,602 A bank robbery. 367 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,021 I would rather be hog-tied and stuffed in that vault 368 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,773 than have to stand at that teller window. 369 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,733 If this is the beginning of you asking me to join a heist, 370 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,276 I'm a tentative no. 371 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,487 If I hear Marco drone on 372 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,615 about his kid's little league team one more time, 373 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,952 I will puncture my ears with all of the chained pens. 374 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,412 They're 5-11, forget the playoffs, dummy! 375 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,207 "I'm proud of him." 376 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,834 That's what your father just said. 377 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,002 You hear that, Marvin? 378 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,796 His actual words were -- 379 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,547 "Eh, I guess I'm kinda proud of him. 380 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,800 Now move it, blondie, I gotta take a whiz." 381 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,886 Slightly different but still pretty good for that old walnut. 382 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,388 I'm sorry Murray missed this, 383 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,891 but you have made this a Turkey Day to remember. 384 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,018 Yeah. [ Whimpers ] 385 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,145 You can tell by his tears that he's truly touched. 386 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,814 [ Whimpering ] 387 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,274 It's nice that he'd proud. 388 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,150 Of the fake me! 389 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,780 I can't believe that I changed my life and my scent 390 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,240 to try to impress this man! 391 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,908 You seem to be winding up to something. 392 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,078 It's time I tell my dad what I really think about him. 393 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,997 Your mom said it's a Turkey Day to remember. 394 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,748 Well, she ain't seen nothing yet! 395 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,960 With that, my Uncle Marvin was gonna stop hiding who he was. 396 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,878 Meanwhile, I was hiding in a turkey costume 397 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,588 to beat Geoff in a race. 398 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,590 And while it seemed almost impossible, 399 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,552 that day, something amazing happened. 400 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,804 P.A. Announcer: Go! 401 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,764 Adult Adam: Despite my years of skipped gym classes 402 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,350 and overwhelming fear of physical activity, 403 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,060 I was fast. 404 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,438 [ Triumphant music plays ] 405 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,481 I tapped into a well of strength and speed 406 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,191 I never knew I had. 407 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,443 P.A. Announcer: Whew! That turkey's running 408 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,445 like he's got a lot on the line. 409 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,904 ♪♪ 410 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,740 Adult Adam: I was racing for my mom. 411 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,908 I was racing to save Thanksgiving. 412 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,327 And against all the odds, I did it! 413 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,579 I won! 414 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,539 [ Laughing, gasping ] 415 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,374 P.A. Announcer: The turkey has collapsed. 416 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,251 And here comes the pack. 417 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,711 Wait, isn't this the finish line? 418 00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,004 That's in about six miles. 419 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,630 You ran like 100 yards. 420 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,257 What?! 421 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,009 Oh. Oh, my God. 422 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:06,012 Oh, this is both horrifying and undeniably hilarious. 423 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,930 My toe! My little toe! 424 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,182 It's critical for balance! 425 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:13,102 ♪♪ 426 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,607 Barry and I were determined 427 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,858 to make it a great Thanksgiving for our mom. 428 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,151 But tensions were simmering as much as my mom's 429 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,111 triple-cheesy potatoes au gratin. 430 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,696 Uh, without exaggeration, 431 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,783 I have literally pulled the greatest meal in history 432 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,160 out of my remarkably toned tuchus. 433 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,455 [ Light laughter ] And everything smells scrumptious, Bev. 434 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,500 And the painful sting of not being on the original guest list 435 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,001 hasn't dampened my excitement. 436 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,086 Praise all. 437 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,128 Screw these place cards. 438 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,047 I wanna sit with my boy, the banker. 439 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,757 Bank teller. 440 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,343 And I'll be happy to sit next to you, Father. 441 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,470 We should probably honor the place cards. 442 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,680 Since pilgrim times, they are legally binding documents. 443 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,641 Your sketchy legal knowledge is crazy wrong 444 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:52,850 but crazy hot, babe. 445 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,811 Marvin, you're over here, next to me. 446 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,771 Great. So great. 447 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,273 Sorry, took a little while to get down the steps. 448 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,734 It's not just my toe, it's also the painful realization 449 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,820 that my name could've been in the "Jenkintown Post". 450 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,655 I'm bummed you didn't win, too, hon. 451 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,698 I was so rooting for you. 452 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:10,201 You win some, you lose some is something people say, right? 453 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,661 It is disappointing, Geoffrey. 454 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,163 We cleared space on the mantel for that trophy. 455 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,873 That damn turkey came out of nowhere. 456 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:18,251 Son, what do you say we go hunt turkeys? 457 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,212 I mean, that's something that fathers and sons do together. 458 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,713 Oh, would that make you happy? 459 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,215 'Cause it's all about your happiness? 460 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,550 Why's he saying weird things? 461 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,385 Pop-Pop's just looking for a simple yes or no 462 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,594 on the killing of innocent birds. 463 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,555 Speaking of innocent birds, 464 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:33,099 Beverly, that is a thing of beauty. 465 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,642 Oh, thank you, Lou. 466 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,894 You know, the secret is cutting your basting butter 467 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:41,107 with sour cream, buttermilk, and melted Jolly Ranchers. 468 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,734 That explains the vibrant color. 469 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:47,071 I've never seen one that looks so moist and juicy. 470 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,364 I make a turkey every year, Lou. 471 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,491 Both our statements are true, Linda. 472 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,577 [ Laughs ] Who invited Henny Youngman? 473 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,538 Sir, you are a comedic dollop of Cool Whip 474 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,123 on my pumpkin pie. 475 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,417 Before we really dig in, I have something to say. 476 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,460 We should eat first. Everyone, take and pass. 477 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,547 Marvin, can you pass the cornbread soufflé? 478 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,466 I'm sorry, do you have to speak so loudly into my ear? 479 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,385 Uh, Marvin, tell us more about the job. 480 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,889 I'm a bank teller. I sit behind a cage. 481 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,099 And I get to see how much more money everyone else has than me. 482 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,810 Boom! I think we fully covered Marvin's career journey. 483 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,812 Next topic, let's say turtles. 484 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,105 Geoff, how many turtles passed you 485 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:21,856 on the way to the finish line? 486 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,524 Mr. Glascott, 487 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,692 I'll bet you've got something to say about turtles. 488 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,277 Indeed I do. 489 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:30,865 I had two turtles growing up -- Sheldon and Michelle. 490 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,783 So, is there a promotion in your future? 491 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:33,951 Branch manager? 492 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,329 Marvin, you'd be a great branch manager. 493 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,497 Why are we still talking about Marvin's work? 494 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,874 The most important thing is 495 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,709 he won his cranky father's love and respect. 496 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:42,835 End of story. 497 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,046 The turkey doesn't even need the gravy. 498 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,381 Bev, you're a miracle worker. 499 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,674 Bar, can we come here again next year? 500 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,967 Next year is my turn! 501 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,636 Maybe next year my husband will run a marathon 502 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:52,803 while I'm home with the baby. 503 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,222 Or go climb Everest. 504 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,514 While those are both on my bucket list, 505 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,433 why are you saying them in such a mean tone? 506 00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,686 Oh, I know how to reclaim the elusive festive spirit. 507 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,397 Adam, why don't you go put on that adorable turkey costume 508 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,607 you had on this morning. 509 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,566 Turkey costume? 510 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,651 No, no. 511 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,903 I was wearing Barry's Eagles jersey. 512 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,821 Mr. Glascott gets his large birds mixed up. 513 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,531 I can abide many an insult. 514 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,326 But I do not get my large birds mixed up. 515 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,911 Adam, you're the one that tripped me? 516 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,371 But why? I would've won! 517 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,081 Oh, who gives a crap? 518 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,582 It's all we've heard about for weeks. 519 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,626 While I'm stuck at home with our baby, 520 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,544 you're out having an affair with the open road. 521 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,255 Guys, guys, I'm trying to have a meal 522 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,965 with the son I finally love. 523 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,175 What you love is a sham. 524 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,095 You love what you wish I could become. 525 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,805 Well, guess what? Nobody guess. 526 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,515 I'm still me, damn it! 527 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,641 I tried. 528 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:39,892 I got a mind-numbing job. 529 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,727 I wore khakis. 530 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,229 I got a boring girlfriend. 531 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,064 Crud, it's happening again. 532 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,482 And for what? 533 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,942 For your happiness, not mine. 534 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,610 I didn't tell you to get a boring girlfriend. 535 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,862 If you had a problem with me running, why didn't you say so? 536 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,364 I shouldn't have to say so! 537 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,532 Adam, do something. 538 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:55,866 Oh, like you got a great handle 539 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,326 on the Marvin-Pop-Pop fiasco! 540 00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,536 I knew you were the wrong partner 541 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,662 to try to save Thanksgiving with! 542 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,789 How dare you! 543 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,791 I entered a running race for this. 544 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:04,792 A running race! 545 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,669 You know what? I'm quitting my job. 546 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,380 Why would you do that? 'Cause it's not who I am. 547 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,299 I have a buddy who said he's gonna cut me in 548 00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,342 on an electric fork that he's trying to invent. 549 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,760 That's who I am! 550 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,429 And, Martha. I don't care. 551 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,055 I'm sorry, Doll. We had a good run. 552 00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:20,141 It was just okay. See ya. 553 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,353 Can someone give me a ride home later? 554 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:30,067 [ All arguing ] 555 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,944 Excuse me. [ Glass clinking ] 556 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,322 I have something to say. Excuse me. 557 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,948 As many of you know, I was reluctant 558 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,783 to host Thanksgiving this year 559 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,370 because I was afraid it wouldn't be like it always is. 560 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,705 Sorry, Mama. 561 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,873 We failed you. 562 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,708 No, you didn't. 563 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,835 Because you gave me a Thanksgiving 564 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,796 that is exactly like it always has been. 565 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,258 This is who we are. 566 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,469 I mean, sure, we argue, 567 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,429 but it all comes from a place of love. 568 00:18:58,429 --> 00:18:59,680 So thank you. 569 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,307 I'd like to say what I'm thankful for. 570 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,976 There's a time and a place, John. 571 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,104 Geoff, this may be hard for you to understand, 572 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:10,650 but as joyful as it is being a new mother, 573 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:14,111 it's very hard to watch your husband living his best life 574 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:17,573 when you are healing from an assault on your body. 575 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:20,660 Oh, God, Erica, I haven't been nearly supportive enough. 576 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,786 I'm so sorry. 577 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,330 No, in all our years together, 578 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,083 you only had this one tiny blind spot, 579 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,377 and I'm pretty thankful for that. 580 00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,003 And, Marvin, 581 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,714 you tried to change because Murray isn't here, 582 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,758 didn't you? Well, he was the good son. 583 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:38,469 And I thought that my dad deserved that in his life 584 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,846 and instead all he got was the same old screw-up. 585 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,265 Were you trying? For me? 586 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,892 Oh, I was the real screw-up. 587 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:48,938 I mean, I-I wasn't there for you enough when you were growing up. 588 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,731 Yeah, but you're here now. 589 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,191 And I ain't going anywhere. 590 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,778 And, Lou, all those terrible things you say 591 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,947 about your wife's cooking? 592 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,949 Keep them in your head... 593 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,326 like I do. 594 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,329 The truth is, she's an amazing woman 595 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,582 and she puts up with me all the time. 596 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,835 Yeah, Mom, you're the best. 597 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,586 I'd like to propose a toast. 598 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,716 To a perfect Thanksgiving. 599 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,634 Adam: To the perfect Thanksgiving. 600 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,136 Perfect. 601 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,512 [ David Bowie's "Changes" plays ] 602 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:24,807 Thanksgiving can be a tricky time. 603 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,601 ♪ Ch-Ch-Changes, turn and face the strange ♪ 604 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:30,730 It can be stressful, bring out the worst in us. 605 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,481 Especially when you're missing people 606 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,316 who've always been there. 607 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,526 ♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes ♪ 608 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,987 But the best traditions endure. 609 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,614 Sometimes you even add new faces to the mix. 610 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,200 And all these years later, 611 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,078 even though we're all grown up and have families of our own, 612 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,498 we always come back to my mom's. 613 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,668 And it always feels like magic. 614 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,045 ♪ Time may change me ♪ 615 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,089 ♪ But I can't trace time ♪ 616 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,511 Ugh! Ugh, no. 617 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,096 I don't need to see your lady business 618 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,347 as I eat my evening cereal. 619 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,975 Relax, this is beautiful and natural. 620 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:08,726 So just get over it. [ Doorbell rings ] 621 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,519 Hey, neighbors. 622 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,272 [ Gasps ] Oh, look at you. 623 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,524 Providing life-giving nourishment. 624 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,818 Uh, this is a little -- What's the matter? 625 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,737 Not enjoying your invasive neighbor eyeballing you? 626 00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:22,698 I'm just gonna take the baby upstairs for unrelated reasons. 627 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,617 So, Barry, you needed something? 628 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,619 That was it.