>> I'M REALLY STARTING TO TAKE
THIS PHOTOGRAPHY THING A LITTLE
MORE SERIOUSLY.
>> I CAN ACTUALLY HELP HIM.
I CAN BE HIS MUSE, AND I CAN
ALLOW HIM TO PHOTOGRAPH ME.
BRO, I'LL HELP YOU OUT ANY
[bleep] WAY.
LET ME KNOW.
>> WHEN THE BABY COME OUT,
GET THAT [bleep] TESTED.
>> AH, MAN, YO.
>> IF IT DOES HAPPEN,
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
>> THAT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT AT
THE END OF THE DAY, LIKE,
IN YOUR HEAD.
>> IS REVENGE, YES.
WHY THE [bleep] SHOULD I BE THE
ONLY ONE, YO?
[bleep] YOUR HAPPINESS.
>> ONLY ARTIST THAT BROUGHT
THEIR ARTWORK IN IS DARLENE AND
[bleep] ANTHONY.
>> BECAUSE THE OTHER DUDE IS IN
MIAMI--
>> IF WE WAS GOING BY THE
[bleep] RULES, THAT ARTWORK
WOULDN'T EVEN BE INCLUDED.
>> OH, OKAY.
I TOTALLY CAME UP WITH THE IDEA
FOR US TO HAVE THIS GALLERY
OPENING.
SHE NEEDS TO [bleep] TURN THAT
[bleep] DOWN RIGHT NOW.
>> [whispers indistinctly]
IF I GET LOCKED UP RIGHT NOW,
WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE
OF BLACK INK?
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH ME AND
DUTCHESS' RELATIONSHIP?
[hip-hop music]
*
[hip-hop music]
*
>> THAT BITCH IS CRAZY, YO.
>> [bleep] PSYCHO.
I NEVER IN MY LIFE...
>> I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING I'M
GOING TO JAIL TODAY, YO.
THIS IS [bleep].
>> WE GOT TO DO EVERYTHING THE
RIGHT WAY, 'CAUSE THAT BITCH IS
CRAZY.
SHE GONNA DO SOME DUMB SNEAKY
[bleep] IF WE DON'T DO IT THE
RIGHT WAY.
>> I DID IT THE RIGHT WAY.
THIS BITCH SAYING SHE'S NOT
GETTING HER [bleep] CHECK.
WHEN I WENT TO COURT TODAY, I
FOUND OUT THAT ALL THE PAYMENTS
I WAS MAKING TO CRYSTAL WAS
BEING HELD BY CHILD SUPPORT,
AND TECHNICALLY,
SHE WASN'T GETTING NO MONEY.
WE GOT TILL 2:00 TO DO
SOMETHING, MAN, OR YOU GONNA BE
VISITING ME ON RIKERS.
>> THE JUDGE WANTS $2,000
BY 2:00 P.M., OR HE REALLY
MIGHT GO TO JAIL.
THAT'S THE REALITY OF THE
SITUATION: MONEY, JAIL.
WHAT WE GONNA DO?
>> WE GOT TO GO TALK TO PAUL.
'CAUSE I'M NOT--I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVE ALL MY MONEY INVESTED IN
THE SHOP.
WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET A
FEW THOUSAND IN AN HOUR?
>> WE DON'T GOT TO LIKE HER.
ALL WE GOT TO DO IS DEAL WITH
HER.
>> WHY IS SHE LOCKING ME UP?
>> IF HE GOES TO JAIL TODAY,
I'M GONNA LOSE IT.
AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT.
>> PAUL, I WANT TO THANK YOU,
MAN.
THIS [bleep] IS JUST [bleep]
CRAZY, YO.
I GOT A CRAZY ASS BABY MOTHER,
YO.
>> SO AFTER THE RECESS AND WE GO
BACK TO COURT AND WE SITTING
THERE, I'M JUST LIKE, "YOU KNOW
WHAT?
[bleep] IT."
I'LL PAY THE CHILD SUPPORT.
CRYSTAL'S NOT GONNA THINK THAT
SHE'S HOLDING SOMETHING OVER OUR
HEAD.
THE ONLY THING SHE'S HOLDING IS
MONEY.
SO IF MONEY'S WHAT SHE NEEDS,
TAKE IT.
IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS TO US.
>> AND YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER.
MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THE PAYMENTS,
BECAUSE CHILD SUPPORT IN THIS
STATE IS TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY.
IF YOU BRING A CHILD INTO THE
STATE, YOU GOT TO SUPPORT IT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> BUT, PAUL, I GOT A QUICK
QUESTION.
WHAT YOU THINK SHE TRYING TO GET
THIS MONEY FOR?
>> IT'S OBVIOUS SHE NEEDS WORK
DONE ON HER TEETH.
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
>> [laughs]
>> SHE DEFINITELY DOES.
[laughs]
>> SHE TRYING TO GET A NEW
GRILLE.
[laughs]
>> DUTCHESS SAVES THE DAY.
IT ALSO MAKES ME VERY HAPPY THAT
SOMEBODY ACTUALLY HELD ME DOWN.
THANKS TO MY GIRL.
MWAH.
PAUL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> I'M GONNA TAKE YOU WHERE YOU
GOT TO GO, THOUGH.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> I'LL BE BACK, BABY.
>> I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BABY.
YO, I'M FREE.
YO, THIS BITCH IS BUGGING.
SO CRYSTAL SENDS ME A TEXT,
TALKING ABOUT SHE WANTS TO SEE
ME.
[bleep].
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CRYSTAL WANT.
HOPEFULLY IT'S TO MAKE PEACE.
YO, MY LAWYER TOLD ME NOT TO
TALK TO YOU, BUT AT THE END OF
THE DAY, THIS SOME [bleep],
AND THIS AIN'T ABOUT CHEYENNE.
THIS [bleep] ABOUT YOU AND SOME
PERSONAL [bleep].
>> IT'S NOT.
IT'S ACTUALLY--YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT'S TAKING IT VERY PERSONAL.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> BECAUSE IF YOU WERE PAYING--
>> AT THE END OF THE DAY,
YOU GOT YOUR MONEY.
ARE YOU GETTING YOUR MONEY?
>> NO, I HAVE NOT.
>> ALL RIGHT, SO TALK TO CHILD
SUPPORT.
>> YOU JUST HAD YOUR WOMAN CUT
YOU A CHECK.
>> YEAH, A REAL [bleep], NOT A
FAKE [bleep]--
>> BUT HOW ABOUT A MAN--
HOW ABOUT BE A MAN AND PAY--
HOW ABOUT BE A MAN AND PAY YOUR
OWN SELF?
>> I BELIEVE THIS IS A MONEY
GRAB.
CHEYENNE HAS ANYTHING SHE WANTS,
AND SHE NEED IT, SHE GETS IT.
YEAH, BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT
NO MONEY.
>> AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
>> THIS AIN'T ABOUT NO MONEY.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE NO HOME,
AND YOU LIVE OFF OF BITCHES.
>> OH, YOU STALKING ME.
>> HOW DO I STALK YOU?
>> YOU DON'T STALK?
>> HOW DO I STALK YOU?
>> YOU KNOW WHERE MY [bleep]
LIVE.
YOU KNOW WHERE MY OTHER [bleep]
LIVE.
>> 'CAUSE I PICK UP AND DROP
OFF CHEYENNE FOR YOU.
>> YOU DON'T DROP--YOU DON'T
DROP NOTHING.
>> YOU'RE THE POSTER BOY FOR
DEADBEATS.
>> WHERE'S ALL THE RESPECT?
BITCH, [bleep] MY [bleep],
YOU BROKE BITCH.
[contemplative rock music]
CRYSTAL'S BEING VINDICTIVE.
SHE'S BITTER BECAUSE I MOVED ON
WITH MY LIFE.
SHE'S BITTER BECAUSE I'M
SUCCESSFUL.
BUT WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
[bleep], YO.
TO USE THAT CHILD AS A WEAPON TO
TRY TO DESTROY ME IS SELFISH.
EVERYTHING I DID WAS FOR
CHEYENNE.
I LEFT THE STREETS FOR CHEYENNE.
I HAVE THIS BUSINESS FOR
CHEYENNE.
THERE'S NO REASON TO LABEL ME AS
A DEADBEAT DAD, BECAUSE EVERY
DAY THAT I BREATHE AND WORK IS
FOR HER.
AND, TRUTHFULLY, THAT'S ALL THAT
MATTERS TO ME.
>> * YOU BRING ME UP
* JUST TO BRING ME DOWN
* YOU STOLE MY HEART
* JUST TO BREAK IT
* ALL OVER THE GROUND
* YOU ALWAYS DO THE OPPOSITE
* OF WHAT LOVE'S ALL ABOUT *
* DOWN
>> ALL JOKES ASIDE, THOUGH,
I MEAN, WHAT THE [bleep]
HAPPENED WITH YOU AT THIS COURT
[bleep]?
>> OH, YEAH, WELL,
HE'S STILL HERE.
>> YO, Y'ALL MIGHT WANT TO SIT
DOWN FOR THIS ONE.
>> YOU, [bleep], HAVE TO BE,
LIKE, THE LUCKIEST [bleep].
>> [bleep] GOT JESUS--
>> NO, THEY DON'T GOT JESUS.
THEY GOT PAUL LIEBER.
>> I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY...
>> I'M PISSED ALREADY 'CAUSE
I'M UP, 7:00 IN THE MORNING.
LIKE, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY
THIRD DREAM ALREADY.
>> RIGHT.
>> WE GETS TO THE COURT.
THIS BITCH WALKS IN.
THIS BITCH GIVES ME A EYE SCREW
AND SAYS HI TO DUTCHESS.
>> SPEAKS TO ME POLITELY.
>> "HI, DUTCHESS."
PAUL SHOWS UP FINALLY.
WE GO INSIDE.
THE JUDGE HAD IT OUT FOR ME.
LIKE, "YOU KNOW I'M GONNA LOCK
YOU UP."
>> WHAT?
>> THAT'S CRAZY.
>> I SAID, "FOR WHAT?
I PAID UP EVERYTHING."
GUESS WHAT.
I'M SUPPOSED TO CALL CHILD
SUPPORT TO MAKE SURE THEY PUT IT
IN HER ACCOUNT.
SO THE [bleep] IS FROZEN IN
SPACE, AND IT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE
I NEVER WAS PAYING [bleep].
>> PAUL WAS LIKE, "HE ABOUT TO
GO TO JAIL."
>> PAUL'S WORRIED?
PAUL SAID YOU WERE GOING TO
JAIL?
>> AFTER THIS--AFTER SEEING THIS
JUDGE, PAUL COME OUT, AND HE'S
LIKE, "LOOK, HE'S READY TO LOCK
YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW."
HE TELLS US WE GOT TILL 2:00 TO
COME UP WITH SOME MONEY.
>> SHE'S SAY, "OH, YOU'RE GOING
TO JAIL NOW."
>> SO WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
TELL THEM THE BEST PART, BABY.
THIS IS WHY I WAS JUST SMILING
AFTER.
>> SO WHILE WE IN WITH THE JUDGE
AGAIN AFTER 2:00, I GAVE THE
CHECK TO HIS LAWYER.
>> YOU GUYS WON!
>> YEAH!
>> GROUP HIGH FIVE.
GROUP HIGH FIVE.
>> YEAH!
DUTCHESS, OUT OF LEFT FIELD,
PAID FOR CEASER'S WHOLE ENTIRE
CASE.
VERY IMPRESSED.
I WAS ACTUALLY NOT A FAN OF THEM
BEING TOGETHER, BUT AFTER SEEING
THAT, THEY GOT MY THUMBS UP.
>> THIS BITCH WHOLE FACE
HIT THE FLOOR.
>> I BET IT DID.
>> AND THEN SHE GONNA TELL HER
LAWYER, "UH-UH, I DON'T WANT HER
MONEY.
I DON'T WANT HER MONEY."
>> SHE LET IT BE KNOWN,
IT'S PERSONAL, AND SHE [bleep]
HERSELF.
>> BUT WAIT, I WATCH A LOT OF
LAW AND ORDER.
>> SO, LOOK, WE LEAVE THE COURT.
SO I'M LIKE, "BABE, I'MA GO
GET THE CAR."
>> I GOT A TEXT FROM CRYSTAL,
TALKING ABOUT SHE WANTS TO SEE
ME.
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> BAH, BAH, BAH.
THIS IS WHEN YOU THROW IN
WITH SOMEBODY.
>> SO I GOES OVER THERE.
I TELLS HER, LIKE, "YO, THIS
AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO ABOUT
CHEYENNE.
THIS IS PERSONAL."
SO SHE TRIES START GOING OFF
HOW--
>> WAIT, IS THAT HER RIGHT
THERE?
[laughs]
>> DON'T PLAY LIKE THAT.
I GOT TO GIVE HER--
>> [laughing]
THAT [bleep] ABOUT TO RUN.
[bleep] SEE HIM?
>> AFTER HEARING THIS STORY,
CEASER, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE
SWAG CHAMP.
>> all: ALI, KUMBAYE!
ALI, KUMBAYE!
[laughter]
>> CEASER CURSING CRYSTAL ALL
OUT ON THE STREETS--I THINK HE
CALLED HER "MAMA," SOME KIND OF
NAME I'M NOT EVEN GONNA SAY,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT NO PROBLEMS
WITH MY MAMA.
>> WELL, I BELIEVE DUTCHESS GOT
SOMETHING TO TELL Y'ALL AND
WHATNOT.
>> Y'ALL GETTING MARRIED?
>> YOU PREGNANT?
>> SO WHO BABY IS THIS, TED?
>> WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOU
GIGGLING FOR?
I'M AT THE SHOP, SCROLLING
THROUGH INSTAGRAM, AS ALWAYS,
AND I COME ACROSS THE BABY PICS.
THE BABY'S HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.
>> TED, WELCOME TO THE CRAZY
BABY MAMA CLUB.
I'M NOT ONLY A CLIENT;
I'M THE PRESIDENT.
>> THE ONE THING NONE OF YOU
[bleep] DID WAS ACTUALLY SETTLE
DOWN WITH THE LADY AND GET
MARRIED.
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
>> THIS [bleep] DROPPED THE "M"
BOMB?
>> OH, [bleep].
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
YOU GONNA BRING ALEX TO THE SHOP
AFTER I FIRED HER?
MM-MM.
HE BETTER STRAIGHTEN UP,
OR HE MIGHT BE OUT TOO.
>> WELL, I BELIEVE DUTCHESS GOT
SOMETHING TO TELL Y'ALL AND
WHATNOT.
>> Y'ALL GETTING MARRIED?
>> YOU PREGNANT?
>> NO AND NO.
I'M GONNA GET SOME MOONSHINE SO
I CAN HAVE THIS CONVERSATION.
SO, YOU KNOW, I'M A SOUTHERN
BELLE, AND, YOU KNOW, WE COME
BEARING GIFTS.
WE GIVE THAT SOUTHERN
HOSPITALITY AND THAT LOVE.
SO I'M BRINGING THE MOONSHINE
OUT TO KIND OF SMOOTH EVERYTHING
OUT AND LET EVERYBODY KNOW IT'S
KIND OF LIKE A PEACE OFFERING.
>> IT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
WELL, YOU LUCKY YOU'RE STILL
SCARED OF THAT [bleep].
>> [laughs]
>> IT SMELLS STRONG, THOUGH.
>> WHOO!
[coughs]
>> DAMN!
MM-MM-MM.
>> OPEN UP YOUR SINUSES.
>> [coughs]
>> THIS IS 190 PROOF.
>> WHAT?
>> THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
>> YOU CAN CRANK A LAWNMOWER
WITH THIS [bleep].
>> THAT [bleep] GONNA MAKE MY
[bleep] FROZEN.
IT'S LIKE...
[laughs]
>> ALL RIGHT, SO LOOK, THE
REASON WHY WE'RE GONNA DRINK
THESE MOONSHINE SHOTS--
IT'S LIKE A PEACE OFFERING.
SO THIS IS TO KIND OF LIKE
SMOOTH THINGS OVER AND TO LET
YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT DOING IT
BECAUSE I WANT TO BE A BITCH.
LIKE, I'M GOING THROUGH A LOT OF
[bleep] WITH MY MEDICAL
CONDITION.
I HAVE A HEART ISSUE,
AND I MAY HAVE TO HAVE HEART
SURGERY SOON.
>> DUTCHESS LETS ALL OF US KNOW
THAT, YOU KNOW, ALL THE STUFF
THAT SHE'S BEEN GOING THROUGH
HAS A LOT TO DO WITH--SHE HAS A
HEART CONDITION.
I'M NO DOCTOR, BUT STILL,
LIKE, THAT HEART PROBLEM
[bleep]--THAT AIN'T NOTHING TO
MESS WITH, YOU KNOW?
>> LIKE, OPEN-HEART
HEART SURGERY?
>> NOT OPEN-HEART,
BUT I MAY HAVE TO HAVE A STINT
PUT IN MY HEART TO HELP
REGULATE THE BLOOD FLOW.
IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED, BUT
ANYWAY, LIKE, ALL OF THE STRESS
OF BEING, YOU KNOW, IN ALL OF
THE SITUATIONS THAT WE'VE BEEN
DEALING WITH, IT JUST KIND OF
PUT ME AT A DEFENSE BECAUSE I'VE
BEEN DEALING WITH THIS ON MY
OWN.
SO I WANT US TO GET OVER THIS
SPEED BUMP AND, LIKE, GET BACK
TO WHERE WE WERE.
>> [bleep].
>> WELL, THIS WAS AWESOME OF
YOU.
>> LET'S TOAST IT UP.
>> AH!
>> I THOUGHT THEY WAS GONNA KISS
ON THE LIPS OR SOMETHING.
>> SOME PERVERTS.
[laughter]
>> OH, YEAH?
>> KIND OF MAKES A LITTLE BIT
MORE SENSE NOW, 'CAUSE, YOU
KNOW, SHE BE HAVING HER MOMENTS,
AND NOW, YOU KNOW, YOU FIGURED
OUT WHY SHE HAS HER MOMENTS.
SHE HAS A LITTLE ISSUE WITH HER
HEART.
YOU KNOW, I FEEL BAD FOR HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I'M HOPING THAT EVERYTHING WORKS
OUT BETTER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND I'M GLAD SHE GOT TO GET THAT
OFF HER CHEST, AND I FEEL LIKE
SHE'S CLOSER TO US NOW.
IT'S AWESOME.
>> THIS IS TO US GETTING OVER
THIS ROADBLOCK.
>> SHOUT-OUT TO YOU.
I APPRECIATE THIS.
>> YEAH, YEAH!
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> OH, MY GOD, I'M SCARED.
>> [laughs]
EVERYBODY LIKE, "I DON'T WANT TO
TOUCH IT.
I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH IT.
I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH IT."
>> AH, SO BAD!
OH, GOD!
UGH!
AH, [bleep].
>> LOOK AT WALT FACE.
>> I THINK I'M GOING BLIND!
MAMA, I CAN'T SEE!
>> NO, NO, I CAN SEE CLEARER.
I CAN SEE CLEARER.
>> HE JUST SAY, "I DON'T NEED MY
GLASSES NO MORE.
I CAN SEE CLEARER."
>> I'M ABOUT TO POP THESE
CONTACTS OUT.
>> THAT MOONSHINE, LIKE, YOU
KNOW, IT'S GOOD FOR, LIKE,
PRACTICALLY, LIKE, ANY
HOUSEHOLD, LIKE, USAGE.
LIKE, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU GOT A CLOGGED DRAIN,
DON'T GET MAD.
JUST PUT SOME MOONSHINE RIGHT
THERE IN THE SINK,
RUN SOME WATER,
AND YOU STRAIGHT.
I GUARANTEE.
THAT'S HOW CRAZY MOONSHINE IS.
THAT [bleep] CLEAR YOUR SINUSES.
>> YEAH, MY WHOLE [bleep] IS
CLEARED UP RIGHT NOW.
[laughter]
>> SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GET?
>> SOMETHING REALLY QUICK.
NOTHING CRAZY, BUT I KNOW THAT
YOU'RE SO NASTY WITH THE
SIGNATURE...
>> OKAY.
>> SO I WAS THINKING OF GETTING,
"GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR DREAMS."
>> OKAY.
>> EVER SINCE LEAVING THE SHOP,
I'VE BEEN FEELING VERY
EMPOWERED, SO I DECIDED TO GET A
TATTOO BY ONE OF MY GOOD TATTOO
ARTISTS, BIG STEVE, TO REMEMBER
THE MOMENT.
>> HOW IS THAT FOR, LIKE,
THE SHAPE OF IT?
>> I LOVE THE SHAPE.
YOU THINK IT'S BIG?
>> I THINK JUST A LITTLE
SMALLER, YEAH.
>> I LIKE IT.
>> LET ME SHRINK IT DOWN,
AND THEN WE'LL FIGURE OUT,
LIKE, THE BEST PLACEMENT.
>> PERFECT.
THANKS, BRO.
THIS TATTOO, TO ME, MEANS
EVERYTHING.
IT'S JUST SIMPLE.
IT'S STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
THERE'S A LOT OF [bleep] GOING
ON, AND I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF,
YOU GOT TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR
DREAMS EVERY DAY.
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING AT
A SHOP UPTOWN.
>> I WAS JUST MORE HELPING THEM
OUT AND TRYING TO SEE THE
LONGEVITY OF WHAT COULD HAPPEN,
BUT I HAD TO DEAL WITH A LOT OF
[bleep], THAT IF IT WAS ANY
OTHER SHOP, IT WOULD'VE NEVER
HAPPENED.
AND YOU GOT TO BE HAPPY.
YOU GOT TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING
AND BE LIKE, "YO, I'M HAPPY."
>> ALL RIGHT, HOW'S THAT?
>> THAT'S PERFECT.
>> I'M GONNA HAVE YOU LAY ON
HERE, HEAD OVER HERE.
YOU KNOW THE ROUTINE, I'M SURE.
>> [laughs]
>> SO WHAT'S UP?
ARE YOU NOT WORKING THERE
ANYMORE?
ARE YOU GONNA GO BACK?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> WELL, I'M NOT A QUITTER.
THAT'S NOT IN ME, FOR SURE, BUT
I ALSO HAVE TO GIVE, LIKE, EVEN
THE OWNER SPACE TO REALIZE
WHAT'S GOING ON.
MAYBE HE'LL COME BACK AND ASK ME
TO HELP HIM OUT IN THE SHOP,
MAYBE HE WON'T.
UNTIL THEN, GOOD THING I KNOW
PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO DO REALLY
GOOD TATTOO WORK.
>> THERE YOU GO.
YOU READY?
>> AH!
AND IT BEGINS.
[tattoo needle buzzing]
I KNOW ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT
I BROUGHT TO BLACK INK AND ALL
THE GOOD THINGS THAT COULD'VE
CAME FOR BLACK INK.
I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON TO
HOLD, LIKE, MALICIOUS INTENT OR
GRUDGES OR--I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THAT.
I DON'T.
I KNOW THAT ALL THIS COULD'VE
BEEN MENDED A LONG TIME AGO.
BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE'S PRIDE
AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE'S EGO,
THAT GETS IN THE WAY OF SEEING
WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT,
SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A PHONE
CALL.
BUT TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS
FOR SURE.
DAMN.
AWESOME.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
SEEING ME ON SHORT NOTICE.
I BELIEVE IN FORGIVENESS.
I BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES.
WHOO.
>> WHY YOU STANDING OUTSIDE?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
WHOSE BABY IS THIS, TED?
>> REMEMBER THE SITUATION WE
SPOKE ABOUT?
>> SO WHO BABY IS THIS, TED?
>> WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOU
GIGGLING FOR?
I'M AT THE SHOP, REGULAR DAY,
SITTING IN THE BACK OFFICE
MINDING MY BUSINESS, SCROLLING
THROUGH INSTAGRAM, AS ALWAYS,
AND I COME ACROSS THE BABY PICS.
THE BABY'S HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.
>> I WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS BABY
LOOK LIKE YOU.
>> [bleep] BABY DON'T LOOK LIKE
ME.
>> TED.
THE BABY GOT YOUR EYES, YOUR
EARS, AND YOUR NOSE, AND IT DOES
THAT [bleep] YOU BE DOING, LIKE,
WHEN YOU BE LIKE, "WHAT THE
[bleep]?"
LIKE, SHE GIVING YOU "WHAT THE
[bleep]?"
>> IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL IF THE
BABY LOOKS LIKE ME, 'CAUSE WHEN
BABIES ARE INFANTS, THEY COULD
LOOK LIKE ANYBODY IN THE WORLD.
THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE LITTLE
ALIENS TO ME.
>> WHOO!
SO I'M UNCLE CEASE.
>> NO, YOU'RE NOT UNCLE CEASE
YET.
>> THAT'S HIS BABY.
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.
THE DNA TEST COULD COME BACK AND
SAY IT'S NOT HIS BABY.
THAT'S HIS BABY.
WE GOT TO GO BUY SOME PAMPERS,
SOME FORMULA.
>> NO.
>> THIS BABY IS PAYBACK FOR TED
[bleep] ALL THOSE WOMEN.
WHO IS THIS [bleep], THOUGH?
YOU CHANGE A [bleep] LIKE
CLOTHES, SO WHO IS SHE?
>> YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIGURE IT
OUT.
>> ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO DO THE
MATH NOW.
>> INSTEAD OF YOU TRYING TO
[bleep] GUESS THE NAME, WHY
DON'T YOU JUST LOOK AT THE
PICTURE?
THE NAME IS RIGHT THERE,
YOU [bleep] IDIOT.
>> NO, TED.
MIRANDA LOVE?
WHOO.
>> I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE SHE
SHOULD INTRODUCE HERSELF, NOW
YOU WORKING AT MY SHOP.
>> SHE IS THE QUEEN OF THE
MIXXXIES.
TEDDY IS THE MIXXXY KILLER.
THAT'S WHAT HIS NAME SHOULD BE.
>> BUT HOW THE [bleep] DO I
APPROACH HER WITH THIS TYPE OF
SITUATION?
>> THAT, BROTHER, IS TOTALLY ON
YOU, 'CAUSE YOU'RE MR. PLAYER--
MR. PLAYER 'CAUSE "I ADAPT IN
EVERY--"ADAPT, THEN, [bleep].
>> MY MIND IS JUST GOING A
MILLION MILES A MINUTE.
I'M NOT EVEN LISTENING TO CEASE
RIGHT NOW.
LIKE, THE JOKES, EVERYTHING HE'S
SAYING IS GOING IN ONE EAR,
OUT THE OTHER.
LIKE, HE'S NOT EVEN IN FRONT OF
ME RIGHT NOW.
>> I'M THROWING YOU YOUR OWN
BABY SHOWER...
IN THE STRIP JOINT.
>> I THINK YOU'RE THE WRONG
PERSON I SHOULD BE TALKING TO
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
>> WHO YOU GONNA TALK TO, PUMA?
>> HELL NO.
>> WALT?
EXACTLY.
TED, WELCOME TO THE CRAZY BABY
MAMA CLUB.
I'M NOT ONLY A CLIENT;
I'M THE PRESIDENT.
>> I'M GOING INSIDE.
>> OHH!
YOU DIRTY DOG!
[laughs]
>> OUR RELATIONSHIP, HOW ME AND
HER ARE, LIKE, OUR RULES AND
REGULATIONS ARE DIFFERENT FROM
OTHERS, YOU KNOW?
>> AH, YEAH, SURE, UNTIL YOU PUT
THAT RING ON IT.
I THINK PUMA SHOULD MARRY QUANNI
WHEN [bleep] PIGS CAN FLY
AND HELL FREEZES OVER.
>> HEY!
>> OHH!
>> SOMETIMES I WORRY THE PEOPLE
WE LET IN THE SHOP ESCAPED FROM
A NUTHOUSE, BUT I'MA LET THIS
LADY ROCK.
>> I THINK I MIGHT'VE FOUND OUT
WHAT YOUR OTHER LITTLE NICKNAME
WAS.
>> NO, YOU DIDN'T FIND OUT.
SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
>> OH, [bleep].
I KNOW THE OTHER ONE.
DAMN, OH!
>> PUMA, I'LL KICK YOU RIGHT IN
YOUR CHEST.
>> [laughs]
>> IT WAS WHEN HE WAS FAT AND
[bleep].
OH, HOLD ON. WAS IT PUDGE?
>> SHUT THE [bleep] UP!
>> PUDGE?
>> YEAH, PUDGE.
>> PUDGE?
[laughter]
>> GROWING UP IN THE BRONX,
I WAS A LITTLE CHUBBY KID,
AND THERE WAS THIS RAPPER
CALLED PUDGEE THA PHAT BASTARD,
I THINK.
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST KNOW PEOPLE SAID WE LOOK
ALIKE, AND I GOT STUCK WITH THAT
STUPID-ASS NAME, PUDGE.
>> BUT ANYWAY, PUDGE, I STARTED
THINKING TO MYSELF, RIGHT?
>> OH, THAT'S A BAD THING.
DON'T BE STARTING THINKING, MAN.
>> SO, LIKE, MY FRIEND RIGHT
HERE ALMOST WENT TO JAIL
BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION--WHAT
HE HAD WITH THE YOUNG LADY HE
HAD HIS KID WITH, RIGHT?
>> MM-HMM.
>> MY OTHER FRIEND RIGHT HERE
LOST A KID AND BE GETTING, LIKE,
ABUSED BY THE SITUATION HE HAD
GOING ON, RIGHT?
SO I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
"THE ONE THING NONE OF YOU
[bleep] DID WAS ACTUALLY SETTLE
DOWN WITH THE LADY AND GET
MARRIED."
>> WHAT?
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
>> WHAT?
>> THIS [bleep] DROPPED THE "M"
BOMB ON [bleep]?
>> MAN, GET UP, MAN.
GET UP.
>> BOO! BOO!
>> KICKED OFF THE ISLAND.
>> YO, LOOK, I'M DROWNING NOW.
>> I DON'T BELIEVE IN NONE OF
THAT [bleep].
ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH
MARRIAGE, JUMPING BROOMS,
GETTING FATHER'S PERMISSION,
THROWING RICE, BIG CHURCHES--
I DON'T BELIEVE IN NONE OF THAT
[bleep].
MARRIAGE IS A BUNCH OF
BULL[bleep] TO TEDDY.
YOU SERIOUS?
>> I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.
>> YOU CAN BE A GOOD DADDY,
BUT YOU STILL GONNA BE A BAD
[bleep], JUST LIKE THE REST OF
US.
>> MM-HMM.
I THINK PUMA SHOULD MARRY QUANNI
WHEN [bleep] PIGS CAN FLY
AND HELL FREEZES OVER.
>> EVERYTHING THAT YOU EVER
THOUGHT, IT WAS LIKE, "PUMA IS
NOT GONNA DO IT," HAVE I NOT
PROVED YOU WRONG?
>> YOU'VE ONLY HAD A KID FOR,
LIKE, FOUR MONTHS NOW.
>> RIGHT.
>> AND, LIKE, YOU AIN'T BEEN
THROUGH NOTHING.
SHE AIN'T EVEN WALKING YET.
SHE AIN'T EVEN TALKING.
YOU CAN'T [bleep] UP YET,
REALLY.
>> MAKE IT THROUGH THIS--
MIA'S FIRST YEAR, AT LEAST.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YOU CAN REALLY SEE, 'CAUSE NOW
Y'ALL ARE REALLY TOGETHER.
LIKE, YOUR FIRST TIME REALLY
MOVING IN TOGETHER...
>> QUANNI'S BEEN WITH ME THROUGH
EVERYTHING, AND I REALLY DO
ADORE HER A LOT.
WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER
TOGETHER.
SO I MIGHT AS WELL HOLD ON AND
NEVER LET GO.
>> WHAT YOU THINK, SASSY?
>> I LOVE QUANNI, AND I THINK
THEY REALLY DO HAVE A REALLY
STRONG RELATIONSHIP.
LIKE, THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH
CRAZY [bleep].
>> RELATIONSHIP, UNDERSTANDABLE,
BUT MARRIAGE IS FOREVER, EVER,
EVER.
>> OUR RELATIONSHIP, HOW ME AND
HER ARE, LIKE, OUR RULES AND
REGULATIONS ARE DIFFERENT FROM
OTHERS, YOU KNOW?
>> AH, YEAH, SURE, UNTIL YOU PUT
THAT RING ON IT.
>> YOU DON'T GOT A RING ON
DUTCHESS' FINGER, AND [bleep] IS
REGULATED AROUND HERE.
>> NAH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
>> WHY?
>> SHE AIN'T KNOCKED UP,
AND WE AIN'T GETTING MARRIED.
THAT'S THAT.
>> HE NOT GONNA PUT A RING ON
DUTCHESS' FINGER?
HMM.
CEASER BETTER NOT LET DUTCHESS
HEAR THAT.
SHE GONNA KILL HIM.
I KNOW THAT.
YEAH, Y'ALL MARRIED.
[bleep], LIKE, Y'ALL
MARRIED.
>> Y'ALL ABOUT TO GET Y'ALL
TATTOOS OR SOMETHING.
>> YO, SON, LET ME ASK YOU A
QUESTION.
IF SHE ASKS YOU TO MARRY HER,
WHAT, YOU JUST GONNA SAY NO?
>> HOW DID THIS TURN ABOUT ON
ME?
>> I'M JUST SAYING.
I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION.
AFTER ALL THE THINGS SHE DONE
DID, ALL THE STUFF--SHE GOT YOUR
ASS OUT OF JAIL AND EVERYTHING--
IF THAT YOUNG LADY CAME UP TO
YOU AND SAID, "CEASER, WILL YOU
MARRY ME," YOU GONNA TELL HER
NO?
>> WHAT?
WHAT?
WHOA, I FELT A CHILL IN MY BODY.
I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT
MARRIAGE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THE FOUNDATION OF MARRIAGE IS
JUST A PIECE OF PAPER.
WHY WE JUST CAN'T BE TOGETHER
FOREVER LIKE CAVE PEOPLE?
I GO HUNT, BRING HOME THE FOOD,
AND YOU COOK.
THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE.
WAIT, DID THAT SOUND SEXIST?
>> I MEAN, AT THE END OF THE
DAY, MAN, I'M JUST TRYING TO DO
SOMETHING RIGHT.
I'VE DONE SO MUCH [bleep] WRONG.
LET ME JUST FINALLY DO SOMETHING
THE RIGHT WAY.
>> DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BAD
THIS COULD TURN OUT, THOUGH?
>> BUT DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW
GOOD IT ACTUALLY CAN TURN OUT
TOO?
AND HOPEFULLY SHE'LL SAY YES.
HOPEFULLY SHE DOESN'T RUN OUT
AND SAY NO, 'CAUSE THAT WOULD
SUCK ASS, WOULDN'T IT?
>> EITHER WAY, IT'S GONNA BE
AWESOME.
>> RIGHT.
>> YOU SHOULD DO THAT.
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW--
>> MAN, I NEED SOME
ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE NEXT
COUPLE YEARS.
>> OH, [bleep].
>> CEASE, YOUR APPOINTMENT'S
HERE.
>> OH, [bleep].
>> OH!
HEY!
>> all: HEY!
>> HEY!
>> * IT GOES, ONE, TWO
* THREE, KICK IT
* ONE, TWO, THREE, YEAH
>> all: HEY!
>> YOU NEVER WHO'S GONNA SHOW UP
IN BLACK INK.
YOU MIGHT GET A CELEBRITY ONE
DAY OR JUST A RANDOM PERSON ON A
BIKE.
>> HEY!
>> COME INSIDE.
BRING THE BIKE.
>> BRING THE BIKE.
>> YEAH.
>> SOMETIMES I WORRY THE PEOPLE
WE LET IN THE SHOP ESCAPED FROM
A NUTHOUSE, BUT I'MA LET THIS
LADY ROCK.
THAT WAS THE MOVES.
>> NAH, YOU GOT THE MOVES.
THERE WE GO. THERE WE GO.
YEAH, LET ME HEAR THE RHYME.
>> ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO RHYME
TOO?
>> PUT THE KICKSTAND ON.
>> CHECK IT OUT.
>> all: HEY, HEY.
>> OH, WIPE THE SWEAT.
WIPE THE SWEAT OFF.
>> [chuckles]
>> HEY!
HEY!
YEAH, [bleep] AMERICA!
>> all: HEY, HEY, HEY!
>> AH, AH!
>> "I'M FROM WAGNER.
WHAT UP?"
>> THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST [bleep]
EVER.
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UP.
THIS IS HARLEM FOR YOU, BABY.
>> YOU OVER THERE SWEATING.
YOU DON'T WORK OUT AND [bleep].
>> LIKE, "YEAH, BABY."
>> SHE SAID, "I STOLE A SIX-PACK
AND I PUT IN MY COOLER."
[laughs]
>> IT DON'T GET NO BETTER
THAN THAT.
>> IT DON'T GET NO BETTER
THAN THAT.
>> TEDDY.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE IN
HERE, TEDDY.
WHAT'S WRONG, TEDDY?
>> EVERYTHING IS WRONG.
>> WHAT'S EVERYTHING?
>> AT THIS POINT, I FEEL LIKE
THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD.
I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A CHILD.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS FEMALE IS
THINKING.
LIKE, IT'S JUST A COMPLETELY
[bleep] UP SITUATION FOR ME.
>> EVERYTHING CAN'T BE WRONG.
YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME?
OH, GOD.
WHAT'S WRONG?
TALK TO ME.
TALK TO MAMA SA...
WHO'S THAT?
>> THAT MIGHT BE, UM...
LITTLE TEDETTE RUX.
>> SO THERE MAY BE A BABY TEDDY
BEAR IN THE WORLD.
I'M HAPPY BECAUSE, OF COURSE,
IT'S A BABY, AND THAT'S A
BLESSING, THEN I'M, LIKE, SO SAD
AND, LIKE, SCARED, BECAUSE I
KNOW HE'S NOT READY RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU THINK IT LOOK LIKE ME?
>> YO, A LITTLE BIT, TEDDY,
FOR REAL.
SHE HAS REALLY, REALLY FAT
CHEEKS.
SHE HAS KIND OF LIKE THOSE
ALMOND EYES LIKE TEDDY HAS.
THIS IS, LIKE, A BABY TED,
THOUGH.
>> I SPOKE WITH CEASE ABOUT IT,
ASKED HIM HOW HE FEELS.
YOU KNOW, HE JUST LAUGHED.
>> WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE'S A [bleep] ASS.
HE'S SUCH AN [bleep].
>> I HAD TO SPEAK TO SOMEBODY
ELSE IN THE SHOP.
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
KID.
>> ARE YOU GONNA GET A PATERNITY
TEST DONE?
>> SHE TOTALLY THINKS IT'S
SOMEBODY ELSE.
LIKE, SHE DON'T THINK IT'S ME AT
ALL.
>> TEDDY IS SCARED RIGHT NOW.
AND BECAUSE HE'S SCARED,
HE'S PROLONGING THE FACT OF
GETTING A PATERNITY TEST,
I FEEL LIKE.
I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD'VE
HAPPENED ALREADY.
I THINK YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH
IT, DUDE.
I MEAN, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S
BOTHERING YOU THIS MUCH, AND, I
MEAN, IT'S ONLY GONNA GET WORSE.
AND YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT
LATER, YOU KNOW?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M WAITING
FOR.
IT'S LIKE--IT'S SOMETHING THAT
NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF ASAP,
BUT IT'S, LIKE, A SITUATION
THAT I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO DEAL WITH,
BUT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH.
>> THAT'S A DIFFERENT--COMPLETE
DIFFERENT SCENARIO WHEN YOU HAVE
THE GUY COMING TO YOU LIKE,
"HEY, BITCH, I THINK YOU NEED A
PATERNITY TEST, 'CAUSE YOUR BABY
LOOK LIKE ME."
[laughs]
>> [bleep], YES.
>> THAT IT'S YOUR BABY?
>> YES.
>> OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU READY FOR
THAT?
>> [sighs]
I DON'T KNOW.
LIKE, WOULD I GO BACK
AND USE A CONDOM?
OF COURSE I WOULD RATHER USE A
CONDOM, JUST TO TAKE ME OUT OF
THE SUSPENSE OF POSSIBLY BEING A
BABY FATHER.
I'M SCARED.
>> OH, TEDDY.
MAYBE, YOU KNOW--MAYBE YOU DO
WANT A LITTLE ONE.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
YOU DON'T GET SENSITIVE AND
EMOTIONAL ABOUT [bleep].
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
LIKE--
>> THAT'S WHAT'S BOTHERING ME,
ALMOST, 'CAUSE, LIKE, [bleep],
YOU KNOW, DON'T BOTHER ME.
I LAUGH AT EVERYTHING.
LIKE, THIS [bleep] IS NO JOKE TO
ME.
>> MAYBE THIS IS WHAT TEDDY
NEEDS TO GROW THE [bleep] UP
AND MAN UP, YOU KNOW,
AND BECOME TED THE MAN.
OH, COME HERE.
GIVE ME HUG.
HUG ME TIGHT, TEDDY.
COME HUG ME TIGHT.
AH, BUT YOU'LL BE A GOOD DADDY.
I KNOW YOU'LL BE A GOOD DADDY.
BUT DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY GET A
PATERNITY TEST.
I LOVE YOU, TEDDY RUX.
>> I LOVE YOU, SASSY.
>> I'M PROUD OF YOU,
LIKE, SUPER PROUD OF YOU.
>> I'M GETTING A PATERNITY TEST
DONE TODAY SO THERE'S NO
CONFUSION.
RING THE BELL. SEE WHAT HAPPEN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
[slow R&B music]
*
>> WE GONNA GO IN THE FIRST ROOM
RIGHT HERE ON YOUR LEFT.
DOOR RIGHT HERE.
SO THIS LADY COMES IN, AND SHE
WANTS TO GET A MERMAID TATTOOED
ON THE BACK OF HER NECK...
YOU WANT TO DO A MERMAID?
I'LL DRAW A NICE MERMAID FOR
YOU.
BEACH SCENE, TREASURE CHEST,
THE WHOLE TEN YARDS.
SO WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO GET THE
MERMAID?
>> I AM A MERMAID.
>> YOU'RE A MERMAID?
YOU'RE ON TWO FEET.
HOW ARE YOU A MERMAID?
>> I WALK ON LAND,
AND I SWIM IN WATER.
>> I CAN DIG IT.
I GUESS SHE'S LIKE A MOISTURE
GODDESS, AND, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST
LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, YEAH,
I CAN DIG IT."
KIND OF LIKE ARIEL.
I'VE ONLY DONE ONE MERMAID ONCE
BEFORE EVER IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
BUT SHE WAS A DREADLOCK
MERMAID.
>> REALLY?
>> YEAH.
REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> YOU COMING BACK TO THE LOCKS?
CAN'T STAY AWAY TOO LONG, RIGHT?
>> [bleep], WHEN YOU GONNA GET
SOME LOCKS?
>> I AIN'T GETTING NO LOCKS.
I DON'T GOT THE PROPER HEAD
SHAPE FOR THAT [bleep].
>> [laughs]
MAYBE LULU CAN GET 'EM WHEN SHE
GETS OLDER OR SOMETHING.
>> [giggles]
>> MAYBE, MAYBE.
WHO KNOWS?
I THINK LULU IS GONNA JUST LOVE
THE CURL.
NOT SEEING LULU HAS BEEN SO
HARD.
LIKE, WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON
WITH MY GUN CHARGE, I'M WORRIED
ABOUT WHETHER--IF AND WHEN--
I CAN EVER SEE LULU AGAIN.
I MISS LULU WAKING ME UP EVERY
DAY, ASKING ME FOR A HUG AND A
KISS.
I MISS LULU TELLING ME THAT
SHE'S A PRINCESS, ASKING ME TO
COOK HER BREAKFAST EVERY
MORNING.
>> NO TWO MERMAIDS LOOK THE
SAME, RIGHT?
>> NO.
>> SO THE ONE THAT YOU DID LAST
TIME IS NOT GONNA LOOK LIKE THIS
ONE.
>> IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE IT.
I KNOW IF IT WASN'T FOR LULU,
I WOULD'VE DEFINITELY BEEN
RUNNING STREETS, DOING WAY MORE
RECKLESS [bleep] THAN I'M DOING
RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE AFTER LULU
WAS BORN, I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO
DO TO PROVIDE FOR LULU, BECAUSE
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
I'M HER FATHER.
I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE
OF HER.
AND NO ONE ELSE IS GONNA DO THE
THINGS THAT I'M GONNA DO FOR
LULU.
[sniffles]
DON'T BE SCURRED.
>> WHOO!
MM, MM, MM.
>> I HOPE NOT.
AND IF YOU ARE, I'M NOT LIABLE
FOR THAT [bleep], MAN.
ALL RIGHT, I'MA JUST WIPE YOU
ALL OFF, LET YOU TAKE A LOOK AT
IT, SEE WHAT YOU THINK,
AND THEN CAN SEND YOU
ON YOUR WAY.
>> MM.
OH, MY.
SHE'S GORGEOUS.
>> SHE'S HOT?
>> SHE'S HOT.
>> HELL, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I
MEAN.
ALL RIGHT, DO YOUR DOUGIE.
>> RIGHT.
>> THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME,
SHORT NOTICE [bleep].
>> OF COURSE. OF COURSE.
>> I NEEDED A FEMALE TO COME
WITH ME.
YOU KNOW I COULDN'T BRING NONE
OF MINE FOR THIS.
[both laugh]
I'M GETTING A PATERNITY TEST
DONE TODAY SO THERE'S NO
CONFUSION.
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, AND I
SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT TO GO
THROUGH THIS ALONE.
>> ARE YOU READY?
LIKE, WHAT IF IT COMES BACK
POSITIVE?
>> I'M NOT READY FOR [bleep],
BUT IF IT DO COME BACK POSITIVE,
I HAVE NO CHOICE.
THERE'S NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT,
NOTHING TO SECOND-GUESS.
LIKE, I'M A FATHER.
>> I'M PROUD OF YOU,
LIKE, SUPER PROUD OF YOU.
>> I TAKE THIS SITUATION VERY
SERIOUS BECAUSE MY FATHER WAS A
COMPLETE PIECE OF [bleep].
I SAW HIM MAYBE THREE OR FOUR
TIMES MY WHOLE LIFE.
I REFUSE TO HAVE ANY CHILD OF
MINE GROW UP LIKE THAT.
I WANT TO GIVE MY CHILD
EVERYTHING THAT I DIDN'T HAVE.
>> YOU SAID 6311, RIGHT?
SOMEBODY'S DOING THIS OUT OF
THEIR BACK BEDROOM.
YOU FOUND THIS?
>> YEAH.
IT'S THE NUMBER-ONE PLACE,
THOUGH, IN NEW YORK CITY.
RING THE BELL. SEE WHAT HAPPEN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN HEAR NOBODY.
>> OH, HERE COME--THIS DUDE'S
CEASER RIGHT HERE.
>> [bleep] IS GOING ON HERE?
[driving hip-hop music]
*
>> RING THE BELL.
SEE WHAT HAPPEN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN HEAR NOBODY.
NO!
[laughs]
HI.
>> IS SOMEBODY THERE?
>> YES, TED.
COME ON.
>> WHAT, ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES
OF ME?
>> [giggles]
YES, FOR THE BABY.
[both laughing]
>> I'D HAVE BROUGHT CEASE FOR
THAT.
THAT'S SOME [bleep].
>> WHAT?
WHAT IF IT COMES TRUE
AND SHE'S YOURS?
THEN I CAN BE LIKE, "THIS IS THE
DAY YOUR DADDY FOUND OUT HE WAS
YOUR DADDY."
>> I DON'T THINK SHE WANT TO SEE
MY FACE, THOUGH.
SHE MIGHT NOT BE HAPPY WITH MY
FACE.
LIKE, "DADDY DON'T LOOK TOO
HAPPY."
>> OH, MY GOD.
WHEN YOU READY TO COME OUT,
PIMP, I'MA BE RIGHT HERE.
BUT GOOD LUCK.
>> THANK YOU, SASSY.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> IN THE LAST PAST THREE
MONTHS, DID YOU HAVE A BLOOD
TRANSFUSION?
>> NO.
>> BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT?
>> NO.
A LOT OF PEOPLE GROWING UP IN
THE GHETTO, I DON'T KNOW WHY WE
DON'T HAVE FATHERS.
I REALLY DON'T GET IT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW A MALE
CAN BRING A CHILD INTO THIS
WORLD AND NOT BE THERE FOR IT.
I'LL DEFINITELY BE THERE FOR MY
CHILD IF THE CHILD IS MINE.
[sighs]
>> ALEX.
>> HEY.
>> WHAT'S GOOD, BABE?
>> WHAT'S GOOD?
>> [bleep], THOUGH,
I APPRECIATE YOU COMING BACK
HERE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> THANKS.
IT FEELS HELLA WEIRD BEING HERE.
>> YEAH, YOU WAS LIKE--
YOU'RE LIKE--
>> I'M LIKE, "I'M BACK
AT BLACK INK?
OH, MY GOD."
>> WITH BLACK INK, YOU KNOW,
I WOULD SAY, LIKE, I'D USE IT
AS, LIKE, MY FIRST STEP INTO
EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO.
I WANT TO REALLY, LIKE, LEARN
MORE ABOUT THIS WHOLE
PHOTOGRAPHY THING.
I REALLY LOVE IT.
I WANT TO REALLY PERFECT MY
CRAFT.
I INVITED ALEX TO THE SHOP.
SHE AGREED TO BE MY MODEL TODAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, TO HELP ME
OUT WITH MY PHOTOGRAPHY AND
STUFF LIKE THAT, WHICH I THINK
IS PRETTY COOL.
I APPRECIATE YOU COMING
THROUGH, YOU KNOW.
>> I BROUGHT A DRESS TODAY,
NOTHING CRAZY, BUT JUST
SOMETHING A LITTLE OUT OF THE
ORDINARY THAT MAYBE WE CAN SHOOT
TOGETHER THAT CAN GIVE US AN
IDEA OF WHERE WE WANT TO TAKE
IT.
>> YEAH.
>> SEEING WALTER AT THE TATTOO
SHOP IS A LITTLE EERIE FOR ME.
SO MUCH NEGATIVE [bleep] HAS
HAPPENED THERE, SO TO WALK IN
THERE FOR THE FIRST TIME,
I STILL FELT IT.
OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.
>> OW!
HEY!
>> I'M GONNA TAKE MY SHOES OFF
SO WE CAN DO, LIKE, A BAREFOOT,
BUT WE CAN DO ANYWHERE.
>> YEAH, I WANTED TO TAKE YOU
SOMEWHERE.
LIKE, YOU GOT THIS DRESS ON.
I NEED YOU IN, LIKE, SOME REAL,
LIKE, NICE LITTLE GRITTY
BACKGROUND, THOUGH,
SO YOU CAN JUST STAND OUT.
>> I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU.
YOU'RE THE PHOTOGRAPHER.
>> I MEAN, WE CAN DO A COUPLE
OF SHOTS HERE, BUT, YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN, I ALSO WOULD LIKE
TO TRY TO DO SOMETHING IN
ANOTHER BACKDROP, AS OPPOSED TO
JUST THE BLACK INK, YOU KNOW?
>> LET'S DO IT.
>> OH, HERE COME--THIS DUDE'S
CEASER RIGHT HERE.
[buzzing]
>> [bleep] IS GOING ON HERE?
>> I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY
PHOTO THING, SO WE ABOUT TO GO
CHECK OUT A FEW SPOTS AROUND.
>> HOW LONG Y'ALL PLAN TO STAY
HERE?
>> JUST HAD HER MEET ME HERE.
LIKE, I WASN'T SHOOTING HERE.
I WAS JUST GONNA HAVE HER MEET
ME HERE.
>> THIS IS KIND OF AWKWARD,
AIN'T IT?
YOU CAN SEE SHE AIN'T
COMFORTABLE.
YOU COMFORTABLE, ALEX?
>> I'M GOOD.
YOU GOOD?
>> NAH, NOT REALLY.
YO, TAKE CARE OF THAT [bleep].
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> YOU GONNA BRING ALEX TO THE
SHOP AFTER I FIRED HER?
MM-MM.
HE BETTER STRAIGHTEN UP,
OR HE MIGHT BE OUT TOO.
>> THIS IS KIND OF AWKWARD,
AIN'T IT?
YOU CAN SEE SHE AIN'T
COMFORTABLE.
YOU COMFORTABLE, ALEX?
>> I'M GOOD.
YOU GOOD?
>> NAH, NOT REALLY.
NOW, I KNOW WALT IS NOT THE
BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE WHOLE
BUNCH, BUT YOU GONNA BRING ALEX
TO THE SHOP AFTER I FIRED HER?
MM-MM.
HE BETTER STRAIGHTEN UP,
OR HE MIGHT BE OUT TOO.
>> I JUST WANTED TO MEET UP WITH
HER.
>> HOLD UP. HOLD UP.
I'MA DEAL WITH YOU LATER.
YO, LISTEN, ALEX, I GOT NOTHING
PERSONAL BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
ALL THAT PERSONAL [bleep] IS
BETWEEN YOU AND DUTCHESS.
I AIN'T GOT [bleep] TO DO WITH
THAT [bleep].
AS FAR AS Y'ALL GO,
THAT'S BETWEEN Y'ALL.
AS FAR AS THIS BUSINESS GO, THIS
[bleep] IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
HAPPENING, HOMEY.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> YO, TAKE CARE OF THAT
[bleep].
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> WALT'S LUCKY,
'CAUSE USUALLY WHEN I COME IN,
I'M USUALLY WITH DUTCHESS.
AND IF I WAS WITH DUTCHESS
TODAY, [bleep] WOULD'VE HIT THE
FAN.
>> THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO
SHOOT YOU IN THE SHOP.
THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO TAKE YOU
SOMEWHERE ELSE, 'CAUSE I KNEW
Y'ALL GUYS GOT Y'ALL TENSION
GOING ON.
>> CEASER WALKED IN AND DID HIS
LITTLE BOYISH RANT WITH WALTER.
BUT I FORGOT:
I'M DEALING WITH A LITTLE KID
HERE, NOT A GROWN MAN.
>> YOU GOT YOUR STUFF,
EVERYTHING YOU NEED, RIGHT?
>> MM-HMM, I'M READY WHENEVER
YOU ARE.
>> ALL RIGHT, LET ME GET MY
COAT AND ALL THAT STUFF.
>> OKAY.
>> I'M LIKE CEASER'S PINCUSHION
RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I'M THE ONE HE TAKES ALL HIS
FRUSTRATION OUT ON,
SO, AGAIN, WALT
DOES ANYTHING, IT'S THE WORST
THING IN THE WORLD.
>> GONNA GO BANG OUT SOME
PICTURES.
>> YEAH.
I JUST WANT TO SAY, YOU KNOW,
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT WHOLE
LITTLE--YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM
COMING AT YOU THAT WAY?
>> HE GOT A LOT GOING ON RIGHT
NOW AND ALL THAT STUFF, SO...
>> EVERYBODY HAS [bleep] GOING
ON.
>> I MEAN, I DON'T TRY--
I AIN'T TRY TO MAKE NO EXCUSES
FOR NOBODY,
BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS.
LIKE, YOU AND CEASE HAVE HISTORY
AND ALL THIS STUFF, AND NOW THAT
HE IS WITH DUTCHESS OR WHATEVER,
YOU THINK YOU AND HER WILL EVER
BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND CHOP IT
UP OR WHATEVER?
>> IN ALL HONESTY, AS FAR AS
THAT GIRL, THINGS WITHOUT REMEDY
SHOULD GO WITHOUT REGARDS,
AND THAT'S HOW SHE IS,
WITHOUT REGARDS.
>> LIKE I SAID, MAN,
I WANT TO DO THIS SHOOT,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'MA DO.
AND I DON'T GIVE A [bleep] ABOUT
NONE OF THAT.
I MEAN, IT WOULD BE NICE FOR
Y'ALL TO, LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN, PATCH THAT [bleep] UP,
BUT I UNDERSTAND IF IT CAN'T,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THAT'S LIFE.
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
[camera shutter clicking]
>> CEASE AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS
AND WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER WAY
BEFORE DUTCHESS EVER CAME IN THE
PICTURE.
THE ONLY TIME ME AND CEASER
STARTED GOING DOWNHILL IS WHEN
DUTCHESS DECIDED TO MAKE IT AN
ISSUE, TRYING TO PAINT ME AS THE
BAD GUY, BUT, IN REALITY,
IT'S THE ONE WITH THE
PAINTBRUSH.
[camera shutter clicks]
ALL THIS STEMS FROM PEOPLE NOT
BEING MATURE ENOUGH TO SIT DOWN
AND TALK.
>> * 'CAUSE IT'S LOOKING LIKE *
* IT'S MADE FOR TV *
* AY-YO, AY-YO
>> * SOME VIDEO
>> * FAST, FAST
* THEN I GOT TO GO
* AND TELL HER
>> WHY CAN'T DUTCHESS JUST
GROW UP?
'CAUSE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S
LOOKING LIKE A REAL JACKASS
RIGHT NOW IS HER.
I LIKE THESE.
HIGH FIVE.
GOOD JOB.
>> HAS TO BE A ARGUMENT OR SOME
TYPE OF DISPUTE WITH YOU.
I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS
WITH YOU.
>> I KNOW, AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO.
>> [bleep] LIKE THIS MAKE ME
MISS THE SINGLE LIFE.
>> I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
>> TODAY'S THE DAY.
GOT TO SEE WHETHER I'M GETTING
INDICTED OR NOT, SEE IF I GOT
TO TELL MY BABY "DADDY'S GOING
AWAY," OR "DADDY'S HERE TO
STAY."
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S
GONNA HAPPEN WHEN I GO IN THERE.