1 00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:02,870 Does it talk? 2 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:04,350 Ooh! God. 3 00:00:04,390 --> 00:00:06,390 Innit good? Yeah. 4 00:00:06,430 --> 00:00:06,630 Innit good? Yeah. 5 00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:07,470 Look. 6 00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:09,830 Go careful. 7 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,550 Oh, bloody... I'm still getting the hang of it, though. 8 00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:13,830 Oh, bloody... I'm still getting the hang of it, though. 9 00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:15,390 You are. What...? 10 00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:17,430 Oh! What have you got it for? 11 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:17,950 Oh! What have you got it for? 12 00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:19,590 Huh? Oh... 13 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:21,630 This programme contains strong language, adult humour, 14 00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:21,950 This programme contains strong language, adult humour, 15 00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,750 scenes of nudity and some scenes of a sexual nature 16 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,590 Oh, God, Lee. Say hello to Jenny. 17 00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,630 Hello! Oh, oh, oh! 18 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:27,870 Hello! Oh, oh, oh! 19 00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:29,910 # In a perfect world... # 20 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:30,390 # In a perfect world... # 21 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:32,430 THEY GASP No! Here we go. 22 00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:32,710 THEY GASP No! Here we go. 23 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:33,950 They've got him. Oh! 24 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,310 What are you doing?! 25 00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:37,350 Oh, she's a chicken nugget! THEY LAUGH 26 00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:37,630 Oh, she's a chicken nugget! THEY LAUGH 27 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,190 Isn't it embarrassing, Merlin? 28 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,910 Honk-honk! 29 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:42,950 What? Oh, kiss! Ooh, that's a bit forward. 30 00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:43,230 What? Oh, kiss! Ooh, that's a bit forward. 31 00:00:43,270 --> 00:00:44,470 This is raunchy, innit? 32 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:45,910 Bring on the dilfs! 33 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:47,110 Yes! 34 00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:48,990 Who's in for the finger this week, innit? 35 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:50,470 Oh! Oh! 36 00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:52,510 It's so bad it's actually good. It's actually good. 37 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:53,190 It's so bad it's actually good. It's actually good. 38 00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,350 What just happened? 39 00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:56,390 Siri, call Ofcom. 40 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:57,430 Siri, call Ofcom. 41 00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,470 In the year there were some big election results 42 00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:00,270 In the year there were some big election results 43 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,310 on both sides of the pond, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 44 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:04,350 on both sides of the pond, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 45 00:01:04,390 --> 00:01:05,150 on both sides of the pond, we enjoyed lots of great telly. 46 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,190 Nadiya was clearing out her fridge on BBC Two. 47 00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:08,630 Nadiya was clearing out her fridge on BBC Two. 48 00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:10,670 We waste over four million potatoes every single day in the UK. 49 00:01:10,710 --> 00:01:12,710 We waste over four million potatoes every single day in the UK. 50 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:13,550 We waste over four million potatoes every single day in the UK. 51 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:15,590 So next, a nifty recipe to make the most of those final few spuds. 52 00:01:15,630 --> 00:01:17,630 So next, a nifty recipe to make the most of those final few spuds. 53 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:18,110 So next, a nifty recipe to make the most of those final few spuds. 54 00:01:18,150 --> 00:01:19,910 Potatoes are so good, like. 55 00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,870 Let's just think about potatoes. 56 00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,910 You get a roast potato, a hash brown, a chip, 57 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,870 You get a roast potato, a hash brown, a chip, 58 00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:27,910 fries - if we're going there - mashed potatoes. 59 00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:29,310 fries - if we're going there - mashed potatoes. 60 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,350 Them like new potatoes. 61 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:31,590 Them like new potatoes. 62 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,910 Dauphinoise potatoes. 63 00:01:32,950 --> 00:01:34,710 Dauphinoise potatoes. 64 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,510 Loads of different potatoes. 65 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:38,550 They're just multi-talented food that... 66 00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:39,390 They're just multi-talented food that... 67 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:41,430 They bring so much to the table. 68 00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:41,670 They bring so much to the table. 69 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,630 Scalloped. Scalloped. Scalloped! 70 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,470 Ooh, scallopeds are naughty! Scallopeds. 71 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:47,190 I love a scalloped. Yeah. 72 00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:49,230 The big guns of Bondi were busy as ever on E4. 73 00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,190 The big guns of Bondi were busy as ever on E4. 74 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:53,230 Do you want to give me a few serious vibes? 75 00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:53,510 Do you want to give me a few serious vibes? 76 00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:55,350 Yeah, doesn't give a shit! Phew! 77 00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:57,390 Getting hot in here. Oh, yeah. That looks great. 78 00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:58,430 Getting hot in here. Oh, yeah. That looks great. 79 00:01:58,470 --> 00:01:59,870 Do you know what it looks like? 80 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,910 He looks like me when I used to get my eyebrows done. 81 00:02:01,950 --> 00:02:02,510 He looks like me when I used to get my eyebrows done. 82 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:04,470 In the single days. When I was single 83 00:02:04,510 --> 00:02:06,510 and I used to get my eyebrows threaded. 84 00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:06,950 and I used to get my eyebrows threaded. 85 00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:11,550 You getting your eyebrows waxed at the nail salon! 86 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:11,910 You getting your eyebrows waxed at the nail salon! 87 00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,950 So stupid! 88 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:14,270 So stupid! 89 00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,910 They looked terrible! 90 00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,950 I looked like an absolute dickhead. 91 00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:19,830 Everybody - "They look great!" 92 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,790 And Disney's steamy bonkbuster had us hot under the collar again. 93 00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:25,830 And Disney's steamy bonkbuster had us hot under the collar again. 94 00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:26,070 And Disney's steamy bonkbuster had us hot under the collar again. 95 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:36,790 You see, he's giving off a lot of magnetic force, Giles. 96 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,830 You see, he's giving off a lot of magnetic force, Giles. 97 00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:39,110 You see, he's giving off a lot of magnetic force, Giles. 98 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:40,430 He's wearing... 99 00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:43,310 ..Old Spice, Mary. 100 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,350 No, he is not. He's too... I bet you he's wearing Old Spice. 101 00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:46,430 No, he is not. He's too... I bet you he's wearing Old Spice. 102 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,470 He's too up-market for that. 103 00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:48,710 He's too up-market for that. 104 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,190 Eau de Cologne? 105 00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:52,230 Probably nothing. He's just giving off man juices. 106 00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:53,190 Probably nothing. He's just giving off man juices. 107 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,510 Ew! 108 00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,510 In Leeds... 109 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,550 I think I've out-cheesed myself. Out-cheesed yourself? 110 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:06,310 I think I've out-cheesed myself. Out-cheesed yourself? 111 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,350 And coming from me, that's a bold statement. 112 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:08,990 And coming from me, that's a bold statement. 113 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:10,910 ..sisters Ellie and Izzi. 114 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:12,950 Cos normally what I'll do with the cauliflower cheese is use 115 00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:13,270 Cos normally what I'll do with the cauliflower cheese is use 116 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:15,310 the extra mature cheddar in the sauce... Ooh! 117 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:15,710 the extra mature cheddar in the sauce... Ooh! 118 00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,790 ..extra mature and parmesan, 119 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,830 and maybe a bit of red Leicester, summat like that. 120 00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:21,030 and maybe a bit of red Leicester, summat like that. 121 00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,070 So I made it, went whole hog, 122 00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:23,910 So I made it, went whole hog, 123 00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:25,950 whole bag of extra mature cheddar in the cheese sauce. 124 00:03:25,990 --> 00:03:27,070 whole bag of extra mature cheddar in the cheese sauce. 125 00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:29,110 Tasted it - nearly blew my own head off. 126 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:29,430 Tasted it - nearly blew my own head off. 127 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,470 Could stand my whisk in it, it were that thick! Oh-ho! 128 00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:31,790 Could stand my whisk in it, it were that thick! Oh-ho! 129 00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,830 I even had to put a bit more milk in cos I thought... 130 00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:35,430 I even had to put a bit more milk in cos I thought... 131 00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:37,470 Bit too cheesy, this. Bit too cheesy, this. 132 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:38,510 Bit too cheesy, this. Bit too cheesy, this. 133 00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:40,510 Ooh, I can't wait to taste it. 134 00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,550 Never did I think I would utter the words "bit too cheesy"! 135 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,590 Never did I think I would utter the words "bit too cheesy"! 136 00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:44,830 Never did I think I would utter the words "bit too cheesy"! 137 00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:48,390 In September, the ballroom bonanza was back 138 00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:49,550 In September, the ballroom bonanza was back 139 00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:51,590 as the celebs took to the floor for the first time. 140 00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,070 as the celebs took to the floor for the first time. 141 00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:55,110 Oh, don't spill it on me! 142 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:55,350 Oh, don't spill it on me! 143 00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:57,230 HUMS STRICTLY THEME 144 00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:07,510 We love a bit of Strictly in this house! 145 00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:08,190 We love a bit of Strictly in this house! 146 00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:10,230 We do, we do! SHAUN HUMS STRICTLY THEME 147 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:10,510 We do, we do! SHAUN HUMS STRICTLY THEME 148 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,150 Some more than others. 149 00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:13,270 I'm excited! 150 00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,950 Oh, it's Chris. Oh, I like old Chris. 151 00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:18,310 Oh, it's Chris. Oh, I like old Chris. 152 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:20,350 This has got to be a first for Strictly because he's blind, Ron. 153 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,350 This has got to be a first for Strictly because he's blind, Ron. 154 00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:23,870 Yeah. He can't see. 155 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:28,910 I'm going to be honest, I'm shocked Strictly's back on! 156 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:29,150 I'm going to be honest, I'm shocked Strictly's back on! 157 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,510 Well, this will just be pleasantly...bland. 158 00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:35,550 Well, this will just be pleasantly...bland. 159 00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:36,230 Well, this will just be pleasantly...bland. 160 00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:39,950 Dancing the cha-cha, Chris McCausland and Dianne Buswell. 161 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:41,990 Dancing the cha-cha, Chris McCausland and Dianne Buswell. 162 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:42,270 Dancing the cha-cha, Chris McCausland and Dianne Buswell. 163 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:43,630 Come on, Chris! 164 00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:45,670 The cha-cha? That's the one that goes like this, innit? 165 00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:47,150 The cha-cha? That's the one that goes like this, innit? 166 00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:49,190 You say every dance goes like that. I'm yet to see one that does. 167 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,510 You say every dance goes like that. I'm yet to see one that does. 168 00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:52,510 BAND PLAYS TWIST AND SHOUT 169 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:55,950 Oh, it's the Beatles! 170 00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:57,990 I mean, a Scouser, you know, dancing to the Beatles. 171 00:04:58,030 --> 00:04:58,310 I mean, a Scouser, you know, dancing to the Beatles. 172 00:04:58,350 --> 00:05:00,350 That's like us, you know, dancing to one of the Nolan numbers. 173 00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:00,790 That's like us, you know, dancing to one of the Nolan numbers. 174 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,830 Exactly. I'm In The Mood For Dancing. Am I! 175 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:03,270 Exactly. I'm In The Mood For Dancing. Am I! 176 00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:07,670 Oh, he's jiving his hips, look! 177 00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,550 Getting a bit of hip movement in there. He's warming up. 178 00:05:09,590 --> 00:05:10,990 He's warming up, the lad. 179 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:14,190 # Shake it up, baby, now 180 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,070 # Shake it up, baby 181 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,910 BOTH:# Twist and shout! # 182 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:19,270 Go on, Chris! Look at that. 183 00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:21,310 You wouldn't know he was blind there, would you? 184 00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:21,630 You wouldn't know he was blind there, would you? 185 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,990 He's only walked with her. 186 00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,030 # Twist and shout Twist and shout 187 00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:25,390 # Twist and shout Twist and shout 188 00:05:25,430 --> 00:05:27,150 # Come on, come on, come on, come on... # 189 00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:29,190 It's proper dad dancing at a christening, in't it? 190 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:29,470 It's proper dad dancing at a christening, in't it? 191 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,310 Come on! That's how you dance. 192 00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:32,670 # Work it on out 193 00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:34,710 # You know you look so good 194 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:35,350 # You know you look so good 195 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,430 # Look so good... # 196 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,030 He's not bad, is he? 197 00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:39,150 He's not bad at all. 198 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,150 I suppose if you've got rhythm, you've got rhythm, haven't you? 199 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:42,350 Yeah, that's it. 200 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:44,070 He is a bit wooden, though. 201 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,790 It's week one, you've got to give him credit. 202 00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:47,350 He's very good for week one. 203 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,270 Oh, a bit of leg guitar! 204 00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:55,310 Wants to be careful if he's strumming the wrong bit! 205 00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:55,550 Wants to be careful if he's strumming the wrong bit! 206 00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:59,070 There's only so many scandals you can have 207 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,950 before they shut the door. 208 00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:02,710 # Ah! 209 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,590 # Ah! 210 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,630 # Ah! 211 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:06,870 # Ah! 212 00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,550 HIGHER:# Ah! # 213 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,510 Fucking hell, I'm out of breath! 214 00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:13,550 # Ah! # 215 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:14,430 # Ah! # 216 00:06:14,470 --> 00:06:15,550 Woo! 217 00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:17,590 Oh, and a knee slide! 218 00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:17,870 Oh, and a knee slide! 219 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,910 I think he overcooked that a little bit there. Yeah. 220 00:06:19,950 --> 00:06:20,190 I think he overcooked that a little bit there. Yeah. 221 00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:21,470 He's nearly on his arse, bless him. 222 00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:23,310 # Twist and shout 223 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,670 # Twist and shout 224 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,070 # Come on, come on, come on... # 225 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:28,110 Do you know what, how she's guiding him is actually seamless. 226 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,190 Do you know what, how she's guiding him is actually seamless. 227 00:06:29,230 --> 00:06:30,390 Yeah. You wouldn't even notice. 228 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:32,430 # Ah! # 229 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,350 # Ah! # 230 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:36,390 Oh, no, that wasn't very good. That looked like 231 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:36,710 Oh, no, that wasn't very good. That looked like 232 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,750 he was dragging her out of a burning building, that last bit. 233 00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:39,470 he was dragging her out of a burning building, that last bit. 234 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:43,670 No, that's unreal! Windmills! 235 00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,710 Not going to lie, if I was Chris's age, 236 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:46,670 Not going to lie, if I was Chris's age, 237 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,630 he'd be looking real hot right now. 238 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,750 CHEERING 239 00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:52,990 CHEERING 240 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:55,030 Yes! Well done. 241 00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:55,510 Yes! Well done. 242 00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:57,550 I think he could have done better. SHE SIGHS 243 00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,390 I think he could have done better. SHE SIGHS 244 00:06:58,430 --> 00:07:00,430 It's kind of crazy to feel that, you know, there's all this toxic 245 00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:01,790 It's kind of crazy to feel that, you know, there's all this toxic 246 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,830 atmosphere in the background when it's so cheerful. So jovial. 247 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,870 atmosphere in the background when it's so cheerful. So jovial. 248 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:06,150 atmosphere in the background when it's so cheerful. So jovial. 249 00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,070 Good for Chris, Mary. 250 00:07:08,110 --> 00:07:10,110 Clearly having the time of his life. 251 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:10,350 Clearly having the time of his life. 252 00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:14,270 Why are you looking at me like that? 253 00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,390 Why are you looking at me like that? 254 00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:17,430 Why are you looking at me like that, Mary. I was just wondering 255 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:17,750 Why are you looking at me like that, Mary. I was just wondering 256 00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:19,790 why you were saying that as if you were a robot. 257 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:20,270 why you were saying that as if you were a robot. 258 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:22,070 MONOTONE:Clearly having the time of his life. 259 00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:24,110 Yeah, yeah. Clearly having... Just... Can you be yourself, Giles? 260 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:25,310 Yeah, yeah. Clearly having... Just... Can you be yourself, Giles? 261 00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:26,990 Clearly having the time of his life. Who are you... 262 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,270 Who are you channelling? 263 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:30,230 Clearly having the time of his life. Oh! 264 00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:34,510 In Caerphilly... 265 00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:36,550 I got to be honest, though, Shirl, you're a hard customer to please. 266 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,110 I got to be honest, though, Shirl, you're a hard customer to please. 267 00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,710 What, food? Yeah. 268 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,750 Well, I like it done nice, yeah. 269 00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:41,990 Well, I like it done nice, yeah. 270 00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,030 ..Dave and his wife, Shirley. 271 00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:46,070 But I've seen you leave a whole plate of food 272 00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:46,750 But I've seen you leave a whole plate of food 273 00:07:46,790 --> 00:07:48,790 because they've put a piece of...a thing of rice, a little container... 274 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:50,550 because they've put a piece of...a thing of rice, a little container... 275 00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:52,590 Yeah, well, I didn't ask for rice, so. 276 00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,630 Yeah, well, I didn't ask for rice, so. 277 00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:54,950 Yeah, well, I didn't ask for rice, so. 278 00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:56,710 Yeah, but it hasn't actually... I don't like rice. 279 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,750 ..contaminated the rest of the food, has it? 280 00:07:58,790 --> 00:07:59,150 ..contaminated the rest of the food, has it? 281 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:00,750 Well, yes, on my plate. 282 00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:04,230 I don't like salad or rice, and if somebody puts that... 283 00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:05,030 I don't like salad or rice, and if somebody puts that... 284 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,070 If I say that's all I want is steak and chips, 285 00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,630 If I say that's all I want is steak and chips, 286 00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:10,670 I don't want any other shit with it. 287 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:10,990 I don't want any other shit with it. 288 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,030 "Shit"? Yeah. But when they bring it back, 289 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:13,350 "Shit"? Yeah. But when they bring it back, 290 00:08:13,390 --> 00:08:15,390 you go like that, don't you? "Dave, look. Look at that shit." 291 00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:16,350 you go like that, don't you? "Dave, look. Look at that shit." 292 00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:18,390 "I told them I didn't want this shit!" 293 00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:18,710 "I told them I didn't want this shit!" 294 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,750 A few months ago, strangers were getting hitched again on E4. 295 00:08:20,790 --> 00:08:22,630 A few months ago, strangers were getting hitched again on E4. 296 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,670 You could not ask for more than to sit on a cold night in September 297 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:26,710 You could not ask for more than to sit on a cold night in September 298 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:27,310 You could not ask for more than to sit on a cold night in September 299 00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:29,350 at 9pm and watch two strangers get married. Mm. 300 00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:30,670 at 9pm and watch two strangers get married. Mm. 301 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,190 I couldn't ask for more. Yeah. 302 00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:33,590 This is my jam. 303 00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:35,630 You've been waiting for this, innit, Twaine. 304 00:08:35,670 --> 00:08:36,230 You've been waiting for this, innit, Twaine. 305 00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:38,270 Listen, this is the only drama that I accept in my life. 306 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,230 Listen, this is the only drama that I accept in my life. 307 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,590 What would you do if I went on MAFS and you was watching me on it? 308 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:47,630 What would you do if I went on MAFS and you was watching me on it? 309 00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:47,950 What would you do if I went on MAFS and you was watching me on it? 310 00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:49,990 That would be hilarious. I don't know if I could take it seriously. 311 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:50,750 That would be hilarious. I don't know if I could take it seriously. 312 00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,790 Why? Why not? Is my love life a joke? 313 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:53,070 Why? Why not? Is my love life a joke? 314 00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:55,110 Yeah! 315 00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:55,390 Yeah! 316 00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:57,430 My dress sense is outgoing, bright and fun. 317 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,470 My dress sense is outgoing, bright and fun. 318 00:08:59,510 --> 00:08:59,950 My dress sense is outgoing, bright and fun. 319 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,990 She's having a good time in that bedroom on her own, isn't she? 320 00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:02,630 She's having a good time in that bedroom on her own, isn't she? 321 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:04,670 Just like me, what you see is what you get. 322 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,710 Just like me, what you see is what you get. 323 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,150 Just like me, what you see is what you get. 324 00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:09,190 We've got a live wire on our hands here. 325 00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:09,510 We've got a live wire on our hands here. 326 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,550 She's bubbly, in't she? She's full of life. 327 00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:11,870 She's bubbly, in't she? She's full of life. 328 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,910 I am a qualified level two animal reiki practitioner. 329 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,550 I am a qualified level two animal reiki practitioner. 330 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,590 How many levels are there to animal reiki practitioning? 331 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:18,470 How many levels are there to animal reiki practitioning? 332 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:20,070 What college is that from? 333 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:22,110 It's tranquil, it's calm, it's peace. 334 00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:22,790 It's tranquil, it's calm, it's peace. 335 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,830 Everything I'm not. 336 00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:25,110 Everything I'm not. 337 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:27,150 HE MIMICS LAUGH 338 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:27,630 HE MIMICS LAUGH 339 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,670 She seems like really good fun. Yeah, she seems like a nice girl. 340 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,710 She seems like really good fun. Yeah, she seems like a nice girl. 341 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:31,990 She seems like really good fun. Yeah, she seems like a nice girl. 342 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,430 Yeah, I'd like to be her friend. 343 00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:35,470 I like a guy who is adventurous... 344 00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:37,150 I like a guy who is adventurous... 345 00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:38,710 Oh-ho! Well, here he is. 346 00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,750 So that's her match. Well, he's out in the sticks. 347 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:41,390 So that's her match. Well, he's out in the sticks. 348 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:43,430 Fun. Everything that I am. 349 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,390 Fun. Everything that I am. 350 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:46,430 Oh! Loves animals. 351 00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:46,790 Oh! Loves animals. 352 00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:48,830 OK, this guy might be the perfect match. 353 00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:49,150 OK, this guy might be the perfect match. 354 00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:51,190 What, just because he's stroking a chicken? Yeah. 355 00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:51,430 What, just because he's stroking a chicken? Yeah. 356 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:55,750 Absolutely love music, I've got a piano. 357 00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:56,030 Absolutely love music, I've got a piano. 358 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,750 He plays the piano, amazing. 359 00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,790 Kieran's got a bit of fizz about him, hasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 360 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:00,110 Kieran's got a bit of fizz about him, hasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 361 00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,070 Yeah, I think this could be fun. 362 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:04,110 I hope there's a female version of me out there. 363 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:04,670 I hope there's a female version of me out there. 364 00:10:04,710 --> 00:10:06,030 Under 5' 6. 365 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:07,190 Good things come... 366 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:08,910 BOTH: ..in small packages! 367 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,070 Oh, shit, wedding day. Let's go. 368 00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:14,310 Oh, shit, wedding day. Let's go. 369 00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,110 See, even the names go together, 370 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,150 Kristina and Kieran, don't they? Yeah. 371 00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:18,430 Kristina and Kieran, don't they? Yeah. 372 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:20,470 I'm well invested in these two. 373 00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,550 I'm well invested in these two. 374 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:23,590 So I just want your advice on something. 375 00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:23,870 So I just want your advice on something. 376 00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:24,950 Go on. 377 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,990 Cos if I do this thing at the wedding it's either going 378 00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:27,310 Cos if I do this thing at the wedding it's either going 379 00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,350 to go really well or I'm going to be divorced straight away. 380 00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:29,750 to go really well or I'm going to be divorced straight away. 381 00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:31,070 Oh, God. 382 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,110 Don't do it. Immediately just don't bother. 383 00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:33,430 Don't do it. Immediately just don't bother. 384 00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:35,470 If it could go either way, don't do it because at the end 385 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,030 If it could go either way, don't do it because at the end 386 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,070 of the day you don't know this person and it's your wedding. Yeah, 387 00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:38,470 of the day you don't know this person and it's your wedding. Yeah, 388 00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:39,990 exactly. Yeah. 389 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,870 GASPS No! 390 00:10:47,910 --> 00:10:48,390 GASPS No! 391 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,430 Oh, no way. 392 00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:50,750 Oh, no way. 393 00:10:50,790 --> 00:10:52,790 No! Comedy teeth! 394 00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:53,110 No! Comedy teeth! 395 00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:57,190 Oh, yeah, man. No, mate. 396 00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,350 Oh, yeah, man. No, mate. 397 00:10:58,390 --> 00:10:59,750 Are you actually? 398 00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,350 Wye aye. I love them, me. 399 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,230 Oh, I love him! 400 00:11:05,270 --> 00:11:07,270 No, not at your wedding, mate. Not at your wedding. 401 00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:08,390 No, not at your wedding, mate. Not at your wedding. 402 00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:10,230 Not at your wedding. 403 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,270 I think it'll be absolutely hilarious 404 00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:12,590 I think it'll be absolutely hilarious 405 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,630 and I'll be able to know if she's got a good sense of humour or not. 406 00:11:14,670 --> 00:11:15,830 and I'll be able to know if she's got a good sense of humour or not. 407 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,870 Fucking hell. I hope this blows up in his face. 408 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:18,710 Fucking hell. I hope this blows up in his face. 409 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,630 Oh, I can't wait to see her reaction. 410 00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:22,470 I bet he does it. He's full of it. 411 00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:26,790 Oh, he's not gone for it. He's just gone for the Turkeys. 412 00:11:26,830 --> 00:11:27,790 Oh, he's not gone for it. He's just gone for the Turkeys. 413 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,350 CHEERING Do it! 414 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:35,630 CHEERING Do it! 415 00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:37,670 Good lad. He's going for it. Unreal. 416 00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:38,750 Good lad. He's going for it. Unreal. 417 00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:44,990 Kieran, take 'em out. Please take 'em out. 418 00:11:45,030 --> 00:11:47,030 Leave 'em in! Sh! Leave 'em in! 419 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:47,230 Leave 'em in! Sh! Leave 'em in! 420 00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:54,990 Take 'em out! You're shitting me! 421 00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:57,030 Honest to God, take 'em out. 422 00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:57,390 Honest to God, take 'em out. 423 00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:07,910 He's sat there like a guinea pig. 424 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:08,430 He's sat there like a guinea pig. 425 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,750 Oh, my God! 426 00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,430 Oh, my God. Oh! 427 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,190 Oh-ho-ho! 428 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,790 You all right? 429 00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,790 You OK? 430 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,790 Oh, look! 431 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,670 She's like, "Wow, look at that." 432 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,030 What's your name? 433 00:12:31,430 --> 00:12:33,430 She can't even speak. She can't even speak! 434 00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:34,270 She can't even speak. She can't even speak! 435 00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:36,310 Oh, my! She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to do! 436 00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,190 Oh, my! She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to do! 437 00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:39,350 Oh, you look petrified! 438 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,350 SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY 439 00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,030 Do you know what? I love that. 440 00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:48,070 Right, take the second set of jokies out. 441 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:49,150 Right, take the second set of jokies out. 442 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,190 Fucking hell, they're worse than the first set! 443 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:51,510 Fucking hell, they're worse than the first set! 444 00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,030 Put them back in! 445 00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:55,070 You looked so... 446 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:55,310 You looked so... 447 00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,030 I'm so sorry. 448 00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:59,070 Look, she liked it. She liked it and it's broken the ice. 449 00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:00,750 Look, she liked it. She liked it and it's broken the ice. 450 00:13:00,790 --> 00:13:02,790 Aw, it worked. It did work. The gambit paid off, man. 451 00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:03,670 Aw, it worked. It did work. The gambit paid off, man. 452 00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,710 That was risky, that was. Yeah, that was. 453 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:06,030 That was risky, that was. Yeah, that was. 454 00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:08,030 I'm invested. You're invested. I'm invested now. 455 00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,070 If this goes to shit, I'm going to be fuming. I know. 456 00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:10,710 If this goes to shit, I'm going to be fuming. I know. 457 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,750 Kieran and Kristina, it's got to last. 458 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:12,990 Kieran and Kristina, it's got to last. 459 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:22,621 In Hull... 460 00:13:22,661 --> 00:13:24,661 Jenny, I'm not being funny, but when we were stood outside... 461 00:13:24,701 --> 00:13:25,061 Jenny, I'm not being funny, but when we were stood outside... 462 00:13:25,101 --> 00:13:27,101 I know. ..this side of your face is, like, glistening. 463 00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:27,861 I know. ..this side of your face is, like, glistening. 464 00:13:27,901 --> 00:13:29,901 Like, I'm going to start calling you Nanny - Nanny Goat. 465 00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:30,461 Like, I'm going to start calling you Nanny - Nanny Goat. 466 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:31,661 Yeah, I know. 467 00:13:31,701 --> 00:13:33,701 ..best friends, Jenny and Lee. 468 00:13:33,741 --> 00:13:34,021 ..best friends, Jenny and Lee. 469 00:13:34,061 --> 00:13:35,981 You've got two down there. It's like... 470 00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:37,541 Are they curling? 471 00:13:37,581 --> 00:13:39,341 Ooh, bloody hell! 472 00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:41,381 I know. Exactly. Oh, look at that, Lee. 473 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:41,701 I know. Exactly. Oh, look at that, Lee. 474 00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,741 Oh, don't! That's how long it... Oh, it's really long. 475 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:44,021 Oh, don't! That's how long it... Oh, it's really long. 476 00:13:44,061 --> 00:13:46,061 I know! Is it off my chest?! 477 00:13:46,101 --> 00:13:47,461 Oh, God! 478 00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:49,501 I know, it's massive. Oh, look at it! 479 00:13:49,541 --> 00:13:49,781 I know, it's massive. Oh, look at it! 480 00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:51,221 Hey, measure it. 481 00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:52,301 Look at that. 482 00:13:52,341 --> 00:13:53,701 Oh, and it's still going! 483 00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:55,421 Oh, oh! 484 00:13:55,461 --> 00:13:57,461 In the autumn, it was all about the boxes on ITV1. 485 00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:59,181 In the autumn, it was all about the boxes on ITV1. 486 00:13:59,221 --> 00:14:01,181 Are you feeling lucky today, Ron? 487 00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,021 You'd have to do some serious manifestation 488 00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:05,061 before Deal Or No Deal. Yeah. 489 00:14:05,101 --> 00:14:05,501 before Deal Or No Deal. Yeah. 490 00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:07,541 What's for me will not go by me. Yeah. No, wait. 491 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:07,821 What's for me will not go by me. Yeah. No, wait. 492 00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:09,861 I do not chase, I attract. Yeah. 493 00:14:09,901 --> 00:14:10,141 I do not chase, I attract. Yeah. 494 00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:11,821 Everything that's for me will come to me. 495 00:14:11,861 --> 00:14:13,861 Decent size muffin, that, in't it? 496 00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:14,901 Decent size muffin, that, in't it? 497 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,941 And fig rolls? Yeah. 498 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:17,461 And fig rolls? Yeah. 499 00:14:20,341 --> 00:14:22,341 Doesn't it just remind you of being at school, though, 500 00:14:22,381 --> 00:14:22,661 Doesn't it just remind you of being at school, though, 501 00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:24,701 Deal Or No Deal, and getting in after school and watching it? 502 00:14:24,741 --> 00:14:25,021 Deal Or No Deal, and getting in after school and watching it? 503 00:14:25,061 --> 00:14:27,061 Having a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a caramel. 504 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:27,381 Having a packet of cheese and onion crisps and a caramel. 505 00:14:27,421 --> 00:14:29,421 It doesn't require any level of intelligence, does it, really? 506 00:14:29,461 --> 00:14:31,461 It doesn't require any level of intelligence, does it, really? 507 00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:31,741 It doesn't require any level of intelligence, does it, really? 508 00:14:31,781 --> 00:14:33,781 Are you having a dig? No, no, no! 509 00:14:33,821 --> 00:14:35,621 What are you trying to say? 510 00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:37,341 You cheeky cow. 511 00:14:37,381 --> 00:14:39,381 In the programme, a shiny Stephen Mulhern 512 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:39,741 In the programme, a shiny Stephen Mulhern 513 00:14:39,781 --> 00:14:41,781 welcomed Myles to the hot seat. 514 00:14:41,821 --> 00:14:42,181 welcomed Myles to the hot seat. 515 00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:44,221 How are we doing? I'm good, thanks, buddy. How are you? Good to see you. 516 00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:46,261 How are we doing? I'm good, thanks, buddy. How are you? Good to see you. 517 00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:46,541 How are we doing? I'm good, thanks, buddy. How are you? Good to see you. 518 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,461 This is my 21st episode now. 519 00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:50,501 It's his 21st episode! Oh! 520 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:50,741 It's his 21st episode! Oh! 521 00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:52,781 He's due a go, then, is Myles. 522 00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:53,061 He's due a go, then, is Myles. 523 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,101 Bit like being a bridesmaid 21 times and finally he's the bride. 524 00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:56,101 Bit like being a bridesmaid 21 times and finally he's the bride. 525 00:14:56,141 --> 00:14:57,621 Good luck, Myles. Come on, everybody, 526 00:14:57,661 --> 00:14:58,901 give him lots of encouragement. 527 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,941 Box 17 he's got, then. Oh, that's not a bad number. 528 00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:02,261 Box 17 he's got, then. Oh, that's not a bad number. 529 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,301 17. What's the difference between 1 to 21? 530 00:15:04,341 --> 00:15:05,261 17. What's the difference between 1 to 21? 531 00:15:05,301 --> 00:15:06,981 Oh... Why is that not a bad number? 532 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,741 Have you got a bad number? Yeah, I have. 533 00:15:08,781 --> 00:15:10,781 Gemma, straight over to you with Box 15, please, my love. 534 00:15:10,821 --> 00:15:11,181 Gemma, straight over to you with Box 15, please, my love. 535 00:15:11,221 --> 00:15:13,221 Here we go. You want it on the blue side, not the red. 536 00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:14,181 Here we go. You want it on the blue side, not the red. 537 00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:16,221 Start in style, and make it a lovely blue. 538 00:15:16,261 --> 00:15:17,501 Start in style, and make it a lovely blue. 539 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,901 No pressure. 540 00:15:18,941 --> 00:15:20,941 Oh, I've got a horrible feeling already. Oh, Simon. 541 00:15:20,981 --> 00:15:21,221 Oh, I've got a horrible feeling already. Oh, Simon. 542 00:15:21,261 --> 00:15:22,661 Come on, a blue. 543 00:15:24,141 --> 00:15:26,141 Oh! No! 544 00:15:26,181 --> 00:15:26,421 Oh! No! 545 00:15:26,461 --> 00:15:28,461 Oh, God. Oh, you'd be ill, wouldn't you? 546 00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:28,821 Oh, God. Oh, you'd be ill, wouldn't you? 547 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,861 The first box, 75 big ones. 548 00:15:30,901 --> 00:15:31,141 The first box, 75 big ones. 549 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,181 Gutted. Come on, Myles. You can do this. 550 00:15:33,221 --> 00:15:33,541 Gutted. Come on, Myles. You can do this. 551 00:15:33,581 --> 00:15:35,061 Time for a blue, isn't it? It is time for a blue. 552 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,741 We need a blue. Come on. 553 00:15:36,781 --> 00:15:38,781 And Claire, number two, you're going to be the person to deliver it. 554 00:15:38,821 --> 00:15:39,261 And Claire, number two, you're going to be the person to deliver it. 555 00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:41,301 I really hope so. I didn't get to be your neighbour for long 556 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:41,821 I really hope so. I didn't get to be your neighbour for long 557 00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,341 but I loved being your neighbour. 558 00:15:43,381 --> 00:15:45,021 THEY LAUGH 559 00:15:45,061 --> 00:15:47,061 They do make me laugh with all this emotional bullshit. Yeah. 560 00:15:47,101 --> 00:15:48,381 They do make me laugh with all this emotional bullshit. Yeah. 561 00:15:48,421 --> 00:15:49,781 You're opening boxes! 562 00:15:51,061 --> 00:15:52,341 Fuck me. 563 00:15:52,381 --> 00:15:54,101 Oh, no. Oh, no. 564 00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:55,901 He's having a run of bad luck, Mary. 565 00:15:55,941 --> 00:15:57,381 Paula, 16, come on. 566 00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:59,421 Let's go. Get it open. Right, OK, Smiley Myley, 567 00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:00,261 Let's go. Get it open. Right, OK, Smiley Myley, 568 00:16:00,301 --> 00:16:01,901 I do think this is a blue. 569 00:16:01,941 --> 00:16:03,941 For the odds, it's got to be a blue, surely. Yeah, please be a blue. 570 00:16:03,981 --> 00:16:04,421 For the odds, it's got to be a blue, surely. Yeah, please be a blue. 571 00:16:04,461 --> 00:16:06,461 And with me psychic vibes... 572 00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:07,261 And with me psychic vibes... 573 00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:08,661 Oh, she's definitely got a red. 574 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,701 There's always someone, in't there? Who's got a psychic vibe, yeah. 575 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:11,861 There's always someone, in't there? Who's got a psychic vibe, yeah. 576 00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:13,901 I think it's a penny. A penny! 577 00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:14,181 I think it's a penny. A penny! 578 00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:16,181 Her psychic vibes are telling her it's going to be a penny. 579 00:16:16,221 --> 00:16:18,221 No. I've got a bad feeling about this, Paula. 580 00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:18,541 No. I've got a bad feeling about this, Paula. 581 00:16:18,581 --> 00:16:19,821 ALL GASP 582 00:16:19,861 --> 00:16:21,861 Oh! Oh, you bleeding...! Bloody hell. 583 00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:23,621 Oh! Oh, you bleeding...! Bloody hell. 584 00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:25,661 100 grand! Bloody hell. 585 00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:26,701 100 grand! Bloody hell. 586 00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,741 She were only £999,999.99 out. 587 00:16:28,781 --> 00:16:30,781 She were only £999,999.99 out. 588 00:16:30,821 --> 00:16:32,421 She were only £999,999.99 out. 589 00:16:32,461 --> 00:16:34,461 Easy mistake to make, Pedro. 590 00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:34,661 Easy mistake to make, Pedro. 591 00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,141 Paula, you were wrong, pet. 592 00:16:37,181 --> 00:16:39,221 A bit later, with nine boxes left, 593 00:16:39,261 --> 00:16:41,261 Myles was hoping his luck would change. 594 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:42,301 Myles was hoping his luck would change. 595 00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:44,341 Don't even think about it. Don't even think about it. You know what? 596 00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:45,541 Don't even think about it. Don't even think about it. You know what? 597 00:16:45,581 --> 00:16:47,581 John. Right, penny. Penny! 598 00:16:47,621 --> 00:16:48,061 John. Right, penny. Penny! 599 00:16:48,101 --> 00:16:50,101 All we do not want to see at this moment in time is that £50,000. 600 00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:52,141 All we do not want to see at this moment in time is that £50,000. 601 00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:52,741 All we do not want to see at this moment in time is that £50,000. 602 00:16:52,781 --> 00:16:54,221 Surely to God. 603 00:16:54,261 --> 00:16:55,901 I bet it's 50,000. 604 00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:57,941 So, there's only two reds to go, so surely by the law of averages 605 00:16:57,981 --> 00:16:59,981 So, there's only two reds to go, so surely by the law of averages 606 00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:00,301 So, there's only two reds to go, so surely by the law of averages 607 00:17:00,341 --> 00:17:02,341 this has got to be a blue. 7-2, innit? 7-2 blue. 608 00:17:02,381 --> 00:17:03,261 this has got to be a blue. 7-2, innit? 7-2 blue. 609 00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:05,301 Keep him in the game, John. Come on, John. It's 50 grand. 610 00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:06,741 Keep him in the game, John. Come on, John. It's 50 grand. 611 00:17:06,781 --> 00:17:07,781 Hope it's a good one for you. 612 00:17:07,821 --> 00:17:09,381 Come on, come on. 613 00:17:09,421 --> 00:17:11,381 There's only two reds left. 614 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,781 THEY SHOUT 615 00:17:14,821 --> 00:17:15,021 THEY SHOUT 616 00:17:15,061 --> 00:17:16,501 Oh! No! 617 00:17:16,541 --> 00:17:18,541 Oh, this is terrible. 618 00:17:18,581 --> 00:17:20,581 Somebody needs to start a Go Fund Me for Myles. 619 00:17:20,621 --> 00:17:21,461 Somebody needs to start a Go Fund Me for Myles. 620 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,501 Deal or no deal? Right at the end, with two boxes left, 621 00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:24,421 Deal or no deal? Right at the end, with two boxes left, 622 00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,461 Myles was still smiling. 623 00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:26,701 Myles was still smiling. 624 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,741 This is it, Myles. Crunch time. 625 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:29,301 This is it, Myles. Crunch time. 626 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,701 Literally. 627 00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:32,301 Oh... It's going to be a quid. 628 00:17:32,341 --> 00:17:33,661 It's going to be a quid. 629 00:17:33,701 --> 00:17:35,701 Oh, please. Come on, Myles! A quid! 630 00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:36,221 Oh, please. Come on, Myles! A quid! 631 00:17:36,261 --> 00:17:37,861 Don't be cruel. 632 00:17:37,901 --> 00:17:39,501 Oh! SIMON CHUCKLES 633 00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,541 Please let it be £50! 634 00:17:41,581 --> 00:17:41,861 Please let it be £50! 635 00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:43,901 Oh, come on. Come on, Myles. 636 00:17:43,941 --> 00:17:44,141 Oh, come on. Come on, Myles. 637 00:17:44,181 --> 00:17:45,301 Please be kind. 638 00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:49,141 BOTH:Oh, no! 639 00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,021 Yeah! HE LAUGHS 640 00:17:51,061 --> 00:17:53,021 Oh! 641 00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:55,061 That isn't even going to cover his bus fare. No! 642 00:17:55,101 --> 00:17:56,301 That isn't even going to cover his bus fare. No! 643 00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:58,341 APPLAUSE It is what it is. 644 00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:58,781 APPLAUSE It is what it is. 645 00:17:58,821 --> 00:18:00,821 He wants to watch himself crossing the road tonight. 646 00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:01,101 He wants to watch himself crossing the road tonight. 647 00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,141 Yeah. I tell you now, eh? 648 00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:05,181 Cos there's no luck on his side, is there? No, exactly. 649 00:18:05,221 --> 00:18:06,261 Cos there's no luck on his side, is there? No, exactly. 650 00:18:06,301 --> 00:18:08,301 Do you know what he wants to be doing with that pound that he's won? 651 00:18:08,341 --> 00:18:08,621 Do you know what he wants to be doing with that pound that he's won? 652 00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:10,661 Going and putting the lottery on. Invest it. 653 00:18:10,701 --> 00:18:11,861 Going and putting the lottery on. Invest it. 654 00:18:11,901 --> 00:18:13,901 In crypto. 655 00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:14,421 In crypto. 656 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,461 So then you'll have minus £10. 657 00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:17,101 So then you'll have minus £10. 658 00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:22,821 In Manchester... 659 00:18:22,861 --> 00:18:24,861 You know how we met up on Saturday, me and my knit group? 660 00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:26,061 You know how we met up on Saturday, me and my knit group? 661 00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:27,821 Oh, yeah, the knit group. Yeah. 662 00:18:27,861 --> 00:18:29,861 We only got chucked out of the cafe. 663 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:30,101 We only got chucked out of the cafe. 664 00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,221 What did you do? 665 00:18:31,261 --> 00:18:33,261 Nothing. We were just sat knitting, having a...having a coffee. 666 00:18:33,301 --> 00:18:34,101 Nothing. We were just sat knitting, having a...having a coffee. 667 00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:36,141 ..Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena. 668 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,981 ..Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena. 669 00:18:38,021 --> 00:18:40,021 Were you like, "20 of your finest tap waters, please." 670 00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:41,741 Were you like, "20 of your finest tap waters, please." 671 00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,301 It wasn't even tap water. 672 00:18:43,341 --> 00:18:45,341 I had a latte 673 00:18:45,381 --> 00:18:45,581 I had a latte 674 00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:47,621 and Jane had a...something. 675 00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:47,901 and Jane had a...something. 676 00:18:47,941 --> 00:18:49,941 How long did you have that latte for? About five hours? 677 00:18:49,981 --> 00:18:51,621 How long did you have that latte for? About five hours? 678 00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,621 Might be. Can't do that. 679 00:18:53,661 --> 00:18:55,661 I couldn't eat anything cos I'd forgotten my chewing teeth, right? 680 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:56,901 I couldn't eat anything cos I'd forgotten my chewing teeth, right? 681 00:18:56,941 --> 00:18:58,221 Mm. 682 00:18:58,261 --> 00:19:00,101 HELENA LAUGHS Jane had... 683 00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:02,141 Jane had done a community breakfast, so she was full. 684 00:19:02,181 --> 00:19:04,181 Jane had done a community breakfast, so she was full. 685 00:19:04,221 --> 00:19:04,461 Jane had done a community breakfast, so she was full. 686 00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:06,261 So that was like... 687 00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:08,301 That was three drinks and one wrap. 688 00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:10,181 That was three drinks and one wrap. 689 00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:12,221 And you know what I think swung it? 690 00:19:12,261 --> 00:19:12,501 And you know what I think swung it? 691 00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,541 I think he's got something against knitters. 692 00:19:14,581 --> 00:19:15,381 I think he's got something against knitters. 693 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,421 In October, a couple of likely lads were off on a voyage 694 00:19:17,461 --> 00:19:18,861 In October, a couple of likely lads were off on a voyage 695 00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,901 of self-discovery on U&Dave. 696 00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:21,941 of self-discovery on U&Dave. 697 00:19:21,981 --> 00:19:23,981 Will Mellor and Ralf Little, yeah. 698 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:24,461 Will Mellor and Ralf Little, yeah. 699 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,301 I've been looking forward to this. 700 00:19:26,341 --> 00:19:28,341 I like them, you know? I can't get enough Will Mellor in my life. 701 00:19:28,381 --> 00:19:29,061 I like them, you know? I can't get enough Will Mellor in my life. 702 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,021 I think they've been friends for 20 years, 703 00:19:31,061 --> 00:19:33,061 since they met on Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps... Yes. 704 00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:35,101 since they met on Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps... Yes. 705 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:35,461 since they met on Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps... Yes. 706 00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:37,501 ..which we've never watched even one episode of. 707 00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:37,861 ..which we've never watched even one episode of. 708 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,741 But I'm sure it was good at the time. 709 00:19:39,781 --> 00:19:41,781 It must be good, it's on every night on, you know, old telly. 710 00:19:41,821 --> 00:19:43,621 It must be good, it's on every night on, you know, old telly. 711 00:19:43,661 --> 00:19:44,901 It's there. 712 00:19:44,941 --> 00:19:46,061 HE SCREAMS 713 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,421 This is Will. 714 00:19:47,461 --> 00:19:49,301 I have no idea who that is. 715 00:19:49,341 --> 00:19:51,341 And this is Ralf. 716 00:19:51,381 --> 00:19:51,621 And this is Ralf. 717 00:19:51,661 --> 00:19:53,661 I think Ralf Little has got better with age as well. 718 00:19:53,701 --> 00:19:54,501 I think Ralf Little has got better with age as well. 719 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,541 Mm. It happens to some fellas. Yeah. 720 00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:56,821 Mm. It happens to some fellas. Yeah. 721 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,421 WILL: We might look like middle-aged blokes... 722 00:19:58,461 --> 00:19:59,861 And we are. 723 00:19:59,901 --> 00:20:01,901 RALF:..but really, we're just a pair of massive... 724 00:20:01,941 --> 00:20:02,701 RALF:..but really, we're just a pair of massive... 725 00:20:02,741 --> 00:20:04,221 Bellends. 726 00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:05,781 THEY LAUGH 727 00:20:05,821 --> 00:20:07,061 ..kids. Oh, kids. 728 00:20:07,101 --> 00:20:08,421 It's there. 729 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,741 Will or Ralf? 730 00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:12,061 Will or Ralf? 731 00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:14,101 I think I'd marry Ralf and then have a roll in the hay with Will. Mm. 732 00:20:14,141 --> 00:20:16,141 I think I'd marry Ralf and then have a roll in the hay with Will. Mm. 733 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:16,581 I think I'd marry Ralf and then have a roll in the hay with Will. Mm. 734 00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:18,621 You'd have a shag in the boathouse with Will. Yes. 735 00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:19,701 You'd have a shag in the boathouse with Will. Yes. 736 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:21,741 We are going to military hostile environment training. 737 00:20:21,781 --> 00:20:23,781 We are going to military hostile environment training. 738 00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:24,541 We are going to military hostile environment training. 739 00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:25,821 That doesn't sound good at all. 740 00:20:25,861 --> 00:20:27,861 Oh, I'd love to do that. 741 00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:28,141 Oh, I'd love to do that. 742 00:20:28,181 --> 00:20:29,901 Would you? Really? Yeah! Yeah, go to... 743 00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:31,941 Well, OK, I don't know what they're going to do exactly, but in my head, 744 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:32,581 Well, OK, I don't know what they're going to do exactly, but in my head, 745 00:20:32,621 --> 00:20:34,341 they're going to go around and shoot loads of stuff. 746 00:20:34,381 --> 00:20:36,381 I've done walking marathons before. 747 00:20:36,421 --> 00:20:36,661 I've done walking marathons before. 748 00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,701 Walking? Yeah. You think that's the same as military training? 749 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:39,501 Walking? Yeah. You think that's the same as military training? 750 00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:41,341 No, but I'm getting there. 751 00:20:41,381 --> 00:20:42,861 And it was for charity. 752 00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:44,901 Hostile environment training is a serious military training exercise 753 00:20:44,941 --> 00:20:46,941 Hostile environment training is a serious military training exercise 754 00:20:46,981 --> 00:20:47,261 Hostile environment training is a serious military training exercise 755 00:20:47,301 --> 00:20:49,301 that teaches you coping strategies for stressful situations 756 00:20:49,341 --> 00:20:50,061 that teaches you coping strategies for stressful situations 757 00:20:50,101 --> 00:20:52,101 such as combat zones or kidnappings. 758 00:20:52,141 --> 00:20:52,581 such as combat zones or kidnappings. 759 00:20:52,621 --> 00:20:54,621 I need this to deal with you. You're a hostile environment. 760 00:20:54,661 --> 00:20:56,061 I need this to deal with you. You're a hostile environment. 761 00:20:56,101 --> 00:20:57,621 How much are you thinking you'd love it now? 762 00:20:57,661 --> 00:20:59,661 I've gone off the idea. Yeah, yeah, I thought you might. 763 00:20:59,701 --> 00:21:01,701 Listen, whatever happens, I've got you. 764 00:21:01,741 --> 00:21:02,661 Listen, whatever happens, I've got you. 765 00:21:02,701 --> 00:21:04,141 We're getting paid. 766 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,821 SOPHIE LAUGHS 767 00:21:05,861 --> 00:21:07,301 What is that? What's what? 768 00:21:07,341 --> 00:21:08,781 Oh, shit, is it happening already? 769 00:21:08,821 --> 00:21:10,061 What? What? What? 770 00:21:10,101 --> 00:21:12,101 That's a roadblock. With people with guns. 771 00:21:12,141 --> 00:21:12,661 That's a roadblock. With people with guns. 772 00:21:12,701 --> 00:21:14,701 No, it's not. Yes, it is. Oh, shit. 773 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:14,981 No, it's not. Yes, it is. Oh, shit. 774 00:21:15,021 --> 00:21:17,021 Oh-oh. Oh-oh, it's started, Steve. Yeah. It's started. A roadblock. 775 00:21:17,061 --> 00:21:19,061 Oh-oh. Oh-oh, it's started, Steve. Yeah. It's started. A roadblock. 776 00:21:19,101 --> 00:21:19,501 Oh-oh. Oh-oh, it's started, Steve. Yeah. It's started. A roadblock. 777 00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:21,541 I need to see some IDs from yourselves, OK? 778 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:21,861 I need to see some IDs from yourselves, OK? 779 00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:23,901 Yeah, can I get a vehicle index check? 780 00:21:23,941 --> 00:21:24,261 Yeah, can I get a vehicle index check? 781 00:21:24,301 --> 00:21:26,301 I feel like this lot are retired 782 00:21:26,341 --> 00:21:26,661 I feel like this lot are retired 783 00:21:26,701 --> 00:21:28,701 and they're just doing a bit of cosplay. Yeah. 784 00:21:28,741 --> 00:21:29,261 and they're just doing a bit of cosplay. Yeah. 785 00:21:29,301 --> 00:21:31,301 You know, he probably does Father Christmas. 786 00:21:31,341 --> 00:21:31,981 You know, he probably does Father Christmas. 787 00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:33,981 At the garden centre. 788 00:21:34,021 --> 00:21:36,021 If you'd like to keep your hands where we can see them, please. Yeah. 789 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:36,541 If you'd like to keep your hands where we can see them, please. Yeah. 790 00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,061 BOTH: Oh! 791 00:21:39,101 --> 00:21:41,101 Nah, nah, nah. Amani, you would actually punch him. 792 00:21:41,141 --> 00:21:41,621 Nah, nah, nah. Amani, you would actually punch him. 793 00:21:41,661 --> 00:21:43,261 Nah. That would piss me off. 794 00:21:43,301 --> 00:21:44,941 Watch my foundation! 795 00:21:44,981 --> 00:21:46,981 I know, I'd be like, "Bloody hell, these eyelashes are fresh." 796 00:21:47,021 --> 00:21:47,981 I know, I'd be like, "Bloody hell, these eyelashes are fresh." 797 00:21:48,021 --> 00:21:50,021 You're quiet in the passenger seat, what's going on? 798 00:21:50,061 --> 00:21:50,501 You're quiet in the passenger seat, what's going on? 799 00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:52,541 Well, this... Stop. Take him out and search him. 800 00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:52,821 Well, this... Stop. Take him out and search him. 801 00:21:52,861 --> 00:21:53,781 Trousers off. 802 00:21:53,821 --> 00:21:55,821 You know what this is like? This is like the start of a porno. 803 00:21:55,861 --> 00:21:56,141 You know what this is like? This is like the start of a porno. 804 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:58,181 Terrorist attack, we've got two guys we don't recognise, 805 00:21:58,221 --> 00:21:58,461 Terrorist attack, we've got two guys we don't recognise, 806 00:21:58,501 --> 00:21:59,461 you're obviously not from here. 807 00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:00,621 Two guys we don't recognise, 808 00:22:00,661 --> 00:22:02,661 that will have kicked them straight in the... Yeah! 809 00:22:02,701 --> 00:22:02,941 that will have kicked them straight in the... Yeah! 810 00:22:02,981 --> 00:22:04,101 ..in the python. 811 00:22:04,141 --> 00:22:06,101 THEY SHOUT 812 00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:07,181 What's he got in his hand? 813 00:22:07,221 --> 00:22:08,261 What is it? Detonator! 814 00:22:08,301 --> 00:22:09,621 Oh, he's got a detonator. 815 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,541 Oh, for fuck's sake. 816 00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:13,181 Get your fucking hands in the air! 817 00:22:13,221 --> 00:22:14,301 Oh! 818 00:22:14,341 --> 00:22:16,101 Oh! Oh, shit. I was not expecting that. 819 00:22:16,141 --> 00:22:17,381 Get your head down, on your knees! 820 00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,941 Oh, I wouldn't like this. 821 00:22:18,981 --> 00:22:20,861 SHOUTING He did it. 822 00:22:20,901 --> 00:22:21,941 Kill him! 823 00:22:21,981 --> 00:22:23,141 Kill him! Kill him? 824 00:22:23,181 --> 00:22:24,821 What? That's a bit mad, innit? 825 00:22:24,861 --> 00:22:26,861 Keep your head still! 826 00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:27,101 Keep your head still! 827 00:22:27,141 --> 00:22:28,621 They're getting bags on their head! 828 00:22:28,661 --> 00:22:30,581 Where's Will defending Ralf? 829 00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:32,621 THEY LAUGH 830 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:32,901 THEY LAUGH 831 00:22:32,941 --> 00:22:34,941 I'm going nowhere. "I'll look after you, Ralf, don't worry." 832 00:22:34,981 --> 00:22:35,421 I'm going nowhere. "I'll look after you, Ralf, don't worry." 833 00:22:36,661 --> 00:22:37,781 Oh, he's just shot him. 834 00:22:37,821 --> 00:22:39,101 Did they just shoot him? 835 00:22:39,141 --> 00:22:41,141 No! Pretend shoot him? Yes. 836 00:22:41,181 --> 00:22:42,581 Stay still! Stay down. 837 00:22:42,621 --> 00:22:44,301 I didn't realise you'd fucking actually do it. 838 00:22:44,341 --> 00:22:45,821 Oh! 839 00:22:45,861 --> 00:22:47,141 Oh, my God! 840 00:22:47,181 --> 00:22:49,061 They've killed him! Don't be so stupid! 841 00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,101 He didn't realise. "I didn't realise you'd actually do it!" 842 00:22:51,141 --> 00:22:51,941 He didn't realise. "I didn't realise you'd actually do it!" 843 00:22:51,981 --> 00:22:53,941 Get that body in the boot. Fucking move! 844 00:22:53,981 --> 00:22:55,421 They've just shot Ralf. 845 00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,061 Get it in! Stay still. 846 00:22:57,101 --> 00:22:58,781 Get in. Get him in! Put your head in. Put your... 847 00:22:58,821 --> 00:23:00,821 Oh, he's in. Poor Ralf! THEY LAUGH 848 00:23:00,861 --> 00:23:01,701 Oh, he's in. Poor Ralf! THEY LAUGH 849 00:23:01,741 --> 00:23:03,501 Oh, Ralf is playing it well. 850 00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,541 Considering he's dead, the fact that he's managed to fold himself 851 00:23:05,581 --> 00:23:06,181 Considering he's dead, the fact that he's managed to fold himself 852 00:23:06,221 --> 00:23:08,101 into that boot's fantastic. 853 00:23:08,141 --> 00:23:10,141 Back in!Head forward, head forward! 854 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:10,421 Back in!Head forward, head forward! 855 00:23:10,461 --> 00:23:12,461 Go, go, go!Stay there! Move! Go! Go, go, go! 856 00:23:12,501 --> 00:23:12,741 Go, go, go!Stay there! Move! Go! Go, go, go! 857 00:23:12,781 --> 00:23:14,021 Oh, they're pissing off. 858 00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:16,061 What's going on? Yeah, what's going on here? 859 00:23:16,101 --> 00:23:16,301 What's going on? Yeah, what's going on here? 860 00:23:19,181 --> 00:23:20,581 Does he know they've ran away? 861 00:23:20,621 --> 00:23:22,341 Now what? 862 00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,381 RALF: About 27 minutes went past. 863 00:23:24,421 --> 00:23:24,581 RALF: About 27 minutes went past. 864 00:23:25,701 --> 00:23:27,581 Oh, you are joking. Geez! 865 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:29,621 How long would you wait, though? Oh, you'd leave me forever. 866 00:23:29,661 --> 00:23:30,141 How long would you wait, though? Oh, you'd leave me forever. 867 00:23:30,181 --> 00:23:32,181 You'd have caught the next bus home, you! 868 00:23:32,221 --> 00:23:32,421 You'd have caught the next bus home, you! 869 00:23:37,061 --> 00:23:39,061 He's creeping! 870 00:23:39,101 --> 00:23:39,581 He's creeping! 871 00:23:39,621 --> 00:23:41,621 Mate, it's me. You all right? 872 00:23:41,661 --> 00:23:41,821 Mate, it's me. You all right? 873 00:23:43,821 --> 00:23:45,581 Did he really stay in there with that over his head? 874 00:23:45,621 --> 00:23:47,141 I don't believe that. I'd have took that off 875 00:23:47,181 --> 00:23:48,461 the minute they closed the lid! 876 00:23:48,501 --> 00:23:49,901 GUNFIRE Fucking hell! 877 00:23:49,941 --> 00:23:51,781 Oi-yoi-yoi! 878 00:23:53,101 --> 00:23:54,421 Fuck off! 879 00:23:54,461 --> 00:23:55,701 THEY LAUGH 880 00:23:55,741 --> 00:23:57,741 Will went to go put the bag back on his head! 881 00:23:57,781 --> 00:23:58,621 Will went to go put the bag back on his head! 882 00:23:58,661 --> 00:24:00,661 I've actually been in a boot before. Have you? 883 00:24:00,701 --> 00:24:01,181 I've actually been in a boot before. Have you? 884 00:24:01,221 --> 00:24:03,221 Yeah, I'm hardcore like that, yeah. 885 00:24:03,261 --> 00:24:03,501 Yeah, I'm hardcore like that, yeah. 886 00:24:03,541 --> 00:24:05,541 Yeah, I took one for the team because there wasn't enough space 887 00:24:05,581 --> 00:24:06,181 Yeah, I took one for the team because there wasn't enough space 888 00:24:06,221 --> 00:24:08,221 in the car and as the tallest one, I said to them, 889 00:24:08,261 --> 00:24:09,181 in the car and as the tallest one, I said to them, 890 00:24:09,221 --> 00:24:11,221 "Guys, don't worry, I'll get in the boot." 891 00:24:11,261 --> 00:24:11,541 "Guys, don't worry, I'll get in the boot." 892 00:24:11,581 --> 00:24:13,581 And I was in there for like 30 minutes, 893 00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:13,901 And I was in there for like 30 minutes, 894 00:24:13,941 --> 00:24:15,941 we're going over speed bumps and everything. 895 00:24:15,981 --> 00:24:16,741 we're going over speed bumps and everything. 896 00:24:16,781 --> 00:24:18,781 Banging my head the whole time. Yeah. 897 00:24:18,821 --> 00:24:19,061 Banging my head the whole time. Yeah. 898 00:24:19,101 --> 00:24:21,021 Back and forth. Yeah. 899 00:24:21,061 --> 00:24:23,061 So I took one for the team, so you can rely on me. 900 00:24:23,101 --> 00:24:23,701 So I took one for the team, so you can rely on me. 901 00:24:24,981 --> 00:24:26,981 Yeah. In a hostile environment, I'm the one you go to. Yeah. 902 00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:28,501 Yeah. In a hostile environment, I'm the one you go to. Yeah. 903 00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:30,541 You can be in the boot! I'll be in the boot, mate. 904 00:24:30,581 --> 00:24:31,301 You can be in the boot! I'll be in the boot, mate. 905 00:24:31,341 --> 00:24:33,181 Balaclava and all. 906 00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:43,230 In Blackpool... 907 00:24:43,270 --> 00:24:45,270 Hey, Soph? What? Took the old three-wheel van out 908 00:24:45,310 --> 00:24:46,230 Hey, Soph? What? Took the old three-wheel van out 909 00:24:46,270 --> 00:24:48,270 for a little spin the other day. Happy day. 910 00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:48,590 for a little spin the other day. Happy day. 911 00:24:48,630 --> 00:24:50,630 Just so I could listen to my new cassettes. Yeah. 912 00:24:50,670 --> 00:24:50,950 Just so I could listen to my new cassettes. Yeah. 913 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,990 ..Pete and his little sister, Sophie. 914 00:24:53,030 --> 00:24:53,310 ..Pete and his little sister, Sophie. 915 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:55,350 In fact, that reminds me, I was in the shop around the corner. Yeah. 916 00:24:55,390 --> 00:24:57,390 In fact, that reminds me, I was in the shop around the corner. Yeah. 917 00:24:57,430 --> 00:24:57,710 In fact, that reminds me, I was in the shop around the corner. Yeah. 918 00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:59,750 And a woman comes up to me and she said, 919 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:00,750 And a woman comes up to me and she said, 920 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,790 "Oh, has your Pete got a three-wheel van?" 921 00:25:02,830 --> 00:25:03,830 "Oh, has your Pete got a three-wheel van?" 922 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,870 I said, "Yeah, yeah, he has." 923 00:25:05,910 --> 00:25:06,150 I said, "Yeah, yeah, he has." 924 00:25:06,190 --> 00:25:08,190 And she went, "He's a knob, ain't he?" 925 00:25:08,230 --> 00:25:09,070 And she went, "He's a knob, ain't he?" 926 00:25:09,110 --> 00:25:10,470 Cheeky cow! 927 00:25:13,150 --> 00:25:14,830 I hope you stuck up for me. 928 00:25:14,870 --> 00:25:16,310 I just said yeah. 929 00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,350 In September there were more mid-morning matters 930 00:25:18,390 --> 00:25:19,190 In September there were more mid-morning matters 931 00:25:19,230 --> 00:25:21,230 keeping us entertained on ITV1. 932 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:21,790 keeping us entertained on ITV1. 933 00:25:21,830 --> 00:25:23,830 Here you are, Friday morning. Croissant. 934 00:25:23,870 --> 00:25:24,670 Here you are, Friday morning. Croissant. 935 00:25:24,710 --> 00:25:26,710 There you are, instead of your cereal, have a croissant. 936 00:25:26,750 --> 00:25:27,190 There you are, instead of your cereal, have a croissant. 937 00:25:27,230 --> 00:25:28,550 Oh, lovely. 938 00:25:28,590 --> 00:25:30,590 You're going to be watching This Morning every day 939 00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,630 You're going to be watching This Morning every day 940 00:25:32,670 --> 00:25:32,910 You're going to be watching This Morning every day 941 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:34,950 when your maternity starts. 942 00:25:34,990 --> 00:25:35,230 when your maternity starts. 943 00:25:35,270 --> 00:25:37,270 You're going to start going crazy again, like you did last time. 944 00:25:37,310 --> 00:25:38,230 You're going to start going crazy again, like you did last time. 945 00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:43,030 Is it Dermot and Alison on a Friday? Yes, it is. 946 00:25:43,070 --> 00:25:43,430 Is it Dermot and Alison on a Friday? Yes, it is. 947 00:25:43,470 --> 00:25:45,470 Now, it's one of Britain's oldest and most bizarre traditions... 948 00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,510 Now, it's one of Britain's oldest and most bizarre traditions... 949 00:25:47,550 --> 00:25:48,150 Now, it's one of Britain's oldest and most bizarre traditions... 950 00:25:48,190 --> 00:25:49,630 Right. What's this? 951 00:25:49,670 --> 00:25:51,670 ..dating back to 2067. 952 00:25:51,710 --> 00:25:52,110 ..dating back to 2067. 953 00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,430 Sorry?! 954 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:55,470 2067? It's only 2024 now! 955 00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:56,150 2067? It's only 2024 now! 956 00:25:56,190 --> 00:25:58,190 1267. 2067 hasn't happened yet. What did I say? 957 00:25:58,230 --> 00:25:59,470 1267. 2067 hasn't happened yet. What did I say? 958 00:25:59,510 --> 00:26:01,510 You said 2067! Did I? 959 00:26:01,550 --> 00:26:03,350 Yeah! You did, Alison. 960 00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:05,390 Can somebody get Alison a coffee? 961 00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:05,670 Can somebody get Alison a coffee? 962 00:26:05,710 --> 00:26:07,270 She's half asleep. 963 00:26:07,310 --> 00:26:09,310 The Gurning World Championships kicks off this weekend! 964 00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:10,430 The Gurning World Championships kicks off this weekend! 965 00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:11,670 I love gurning. 966 00:26:11,710 --> 00:26:13,710 Gurning's like that, isn't it? 967 00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:14,110 Gurning's like that, isn't it? 968 00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:16,150 You want to go in a few nightclubs around here, fucking disgusting! 969 00:26:16,190 --> 00:26:17,350 You want to go in a few nightclubs around here, fucking disgusting! 970 00:26:17,390 --> 00:26:19,110 Got a competition on in them. 971 00:26:19,150 --> 00:26:21,150 Joined by two of the best in the biz - 18-time champion 972 00:26:21,190 --> 00:26:22,790 Joined by two of the best in the biz - 18-time champion 973 00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:24,830 Tommy Mattinson, and seven-time champion Claire Lister. 974 00:26:24,870 --> 00:26:25,830 Tommy Mattinson, and seven-time champion Claire Lister. 975 00:26:25,870 --> 00:26:27,870 They don't look like gurners, do they? No. 976 00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:28,590 They don't look like gurners, do they? No. 977 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,630 Explain where the origins of this is, cos it's a... 978 00:26:30,670 --> 00:26:31,790 Explain where the origins of this is, cos it's a... 979 00:26:31,830 --> 00:26:33,590 Crab apple fair. Right. 980 00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,430 Ooh, the crab apple fair. 981 00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:37,270 What's an apple got to do with gurning? 982 00:26:37,310 --> 00:26:39,310 The story goes that somebody bit the crab apple, it's a very sour apple. 983 00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:39,830 The story goes that somebody bit the crab apple, it's a very sour apple. 984 00:26:39,870 --> 00:26:41,110 Oh, right. 985 00:26:41,150 --> 00:26:43,150 So I suppose it made you, like... 986 00:26:43,190 --> 00:26:43,430 So I suppose it made you, like... 987 00:26:43,470 --> 00:26:45,470 Pull a face when you bit into one. Mm. 988 00:26:45,510 --> 00:26:45,790 Pull a face when you bit into one. Mm. 989 00:26:45,830 --> 00:26:47,830 You know like if you eat a piece of lemon, you're like, "Ooh"? Yeah. 990 00:26:47,870 --> 00:26:49,270 You know like if you eat a piece of lemon, you're like, "Ooh"? Yeah. 991 00:26:49,310 --> 00:26:50,550 That's it, isn't it? 992 00:26:50,590 --> 00:26:52,590 You're the eighth world champion. No, I've won it 18 times. 18?! 993 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:54,110 You're the eighth world champion. No, I've won it 18 times. 18?! 994 00:26:54,150 --> 00:26:56,150 Fucking hell. "You're not very good with your figures today, 995 00:26:56,190 --> 00:26:56,470 Fucking hell. "You're not very good with your figures today, 996 00:26:56,510 --> 00:26:58,510 "are you, Alison? Wake up, my love. 18, I've won it." 997 00:26:58,550 --> 00:26:59,230 "are you, Alison? Wake up, my love. 18, I've won it." 998 00:26:59,270 --> 00:27:01,270 You know what I'd win on? What? Resting bitch face. 999 00:27:01,310 --> 00:27:02,630 You know what I'd win on? What? Resting bitch face. 1000 00:27:02,670 --> 00:27:04,670 Oh, yeah, you've got plenty of that. 1001 00:27:04,710 --> 00:27:05,110 Oh, yeah, you've got plenty of that. 1002 00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:07,150 My father was a world champion, he won it ten times. 1003 00:27:07,190 --> 00:27:07,830 My father was a world champion, he won it ten times. 1004 00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:09,870 So it runs in their family. Of pulling funny faces? 1005 00:27:09,910 --> 00:27:10,790 So it runs in their family. Of pulling funny faces? 1006 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:12,830 We ain't got nothing that follows on... I thought you had, 1007 00:27:12,870 --> 00:27:13,550 We ain't got nothing that follows on... I thought you had, 1008 00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:15,270 I thought you had shoplifting! 1009 00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:19,590 OK, will you show us some of your favourite faces? 1010 00:27:19,630 --> 00:27:19,990 OK, will you show us some of your favourite faces? 1011 00:27:20,030 --> 00:27:21,590 Oh, can't wait for this! 1012 00:27:21,630 --> 00:27:23,550 Will you show us the wolf? 1013 00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:25,590 The wolf?! Oh, they have different names for them. 1014 00:27:25,630 --> 00:27:25,950 The wolf?! Oh, they have different names for them. 1015 00:27:25,990 --> 00:27:27,790 OK, so, here we go. 1016 00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:29,790 GROWLING 1017 00:27:29,830 --> 00:27:31,030 Why is he making that noise? 1018 00:27:31,070 --> 00:27:32,470 What's he sniffing at? 1019 00:27:32,510 --> 00:27:34,510 GRUNTING 1020 00:27:34,550 --> 00:27:35,870 GRUNTING 1021 00:27:35,910 --> 00:27:37,190 Oh, Ronnie! 1022 00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:39,230 Oh, my God! 1023 00:27:39,270 --> 00:27:39,470 Oh, my God! 1024 00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:41,430 LAUGHTER 1025 00:27:43,430 --> 00:27:45,110 That's so good. 1026 00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:46,590 What's happened to his face? 1027 00:27:46,630 --> 00:27:48,630 Look at his nose! His nose is bent! 1028 00:27:48,670 --> 00:27:49,430 Look at his nose! His nose is bent! 1029 00:27:49,470 --> 00:27:51,470 He's totally changed, hasn't he? 1030 00:27:51,510 --> 00:27:51,910 He's totally changed, hasn't he? 1031 00:27:51,950 --> 00:27:53,950 GRUNTING That is so good! 1032 00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:54,230 GRUNTING That is so good! 1033 00:27:54,270 --> 00:27:55,830 And it's the sounds as well. 1034 00:27:55,870 --> 00:27:57,870 SHE GRUNTS 1035 00:27:57,910 --> 00:27:58,590 SHE GRUNTS 1036 00:27:58,630 --> 00:28:00,630 SHE LAUGHS 1037 00:28:00,670 --> 00:28:00,870 SHE LAUGHS 1038 00:28:00,910 --> 00:28:02,910 GRUNTING 1039 00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:03,710 GRUNTING 1040 00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:05,750 Oh, yeah, you can get there, Anne. 1041 00:28:05,790 --> 00:28:06,030 Oh, yeah, you can get there, Anne. 1042 00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:08,030 You look so different. Go on, Claire... 1043 00:28:08,070 --> 00:28:10,070 Let's go, Claire, do it for the ladies. 1044 00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:10,390 Let's go, Claire, do it for the ladies. 1045 00:28:10,430 --> 00:28:12,430 LAUGHTER Wow! Love it!Yes! 1046 00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:12,870 LAUGHTER Wow! Love it!Yes! 1047 00:28:14,470 --> 00:28:16,470 Oh! 1048 00:28:16,510 --> 00:28:17,110 Oh! 1049 00:28:17,150 --> 00:28:18,990 SHE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY 1050 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:21,030 I think it's with the eyes crossed... 1051 00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:21,310 I think it's with the eyes crossed... 1052 00:28:21,350 --> 00:28:23,350 Do it with your eyes half shut. 1053 00:28:23,390 --> 00:28:23,590 Do it with your eyes half shut. 1054 00:28:23,630 --> 00:28:24,790 That's it. 1055 00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:27,990 That's a lovely face, Mary. 1056 00:28:30,270 --> 00:28:32,110 In South East London... 1057 00:28:32,150 --> 00:28:34,150 Who's... Who's that? Get that. 1058 00:28:34,190 --> 00:28:34,390 Who's... Who's that? Get that. 1059 00:28:34,430 --> 00:28:36,430 Oh... Bloody hell. 1060 00:28:36,470 --> 00:28:37,430 Oh... Bloody hell. 1061 00:28:37,470 --> 00:28:39,470 You know who it'll be - someone trying to sell us something. Quick! 1062 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:40,470 You know who it'll be - someone trying to sell us something. Quick! 1063 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:42,510 ..Sue and her husband, Steve. 1064 00:28:42,550 --> 00:28:42,750 ..Sue and her husband, Steve. 1065 00:28:42,790 --> 00:28:44,790 There you are. Oh, you... 1066 00:28:44,830 --> 00:28:45,030 There you are. Oh, you... 1067 00:28:45,070 --> 00:28:46,830 Oh, it's gone now. 1068 00:28:46,870 --> 00:28:48,510 With the, uh... What's that number? 1069 00:28:48,550 --> 00:28:50,550 Oh, it's out of area. 1070 00:28:50,590 --> 00:28:51,030 Oh, it's out of area. 1071 00:28:51,070 --> 00:28:52,830 It's me mother. 1072 00:28:52,870 --> 00:28:54,870 Oh. Just as well I didn't answer, then, eh? 1073 00:28:54,910 --> 00:28:56,150 Oh. Just as well I didn't answer, then, eh? 1074 00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,470 In May, a controversial subject was making the headlines on ITV. 1075 00:29:00,510 --> 00:29:02,510 In May, a controversial subject was making the headlines on ITV. 1076 00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:03,190 In May, a controversial subject was making the headlines on ITV. 1077 00:29:03,230 --> 00:29:04,950 Are you having butter and cheese? 1078 00:29:04,990 --> 00:29:06,990 No, I'm about to have a "snaccident"! 1079 00:29:07,030 --> 00:29:07,270 No, I'm about to have a "snaccident"! 1080 00:29:07,310 --> 00:29:08,510 I've just ordered me lunch. 1081 00:29:08,550 --> 00:29:09,910 I shouldn't even be having any of this. 1082 00:29:09,950 --> 00:29:11,950 I've gone for a double burger. 1083 00:29:11,990 --> 00:29:12,310 I've gone for a double burger. 1084 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,790 Double burger?! 1085 00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:15,830 I know! And it's only dinner time. 1086 00:29:15,870 --> 00:29:16,070 I know! And it's only dinner time. 1087 00:29:16,110 --> 00:29:18,110 This is the ITV lunchtime news. 1088 00:29:18,150 --> 00:29:18,670 This is the ITV lunchtime news. 1089 00:29:18,710 --> 00:29:20,430 Oh, look, it's my favourite, Mary. 1090 00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:21,710 What? Lucrezia. 1091 00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,470 Lucrezia Millarini. 1092 00:29:23,510 --> 00:29:24,670 Good afternoon. 1093 00:29:24,710 --> 00:29:26,590 Ooh! She's gone lighter at the ends, like me. 1094 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:28,630 She's had a few balayage pieces put in. 1095 00:29:28,670 --> 00:29:28,950 She's had a few balayage pieces put in. 1096 00:29:28,990 --> 00:29:30,990 She's not as dark, is she? Suits her. 1097 00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:31,270 She's not as dark, is she? Suits her. 1098 00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:32,430 Finally this lunchtime - 1099 00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:34,470 how our continental cousins are calling in their chips. 1100 00:29:34,510 --> 00:29:35,190 how our continental cousins are calling in their chips. 1101 00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:36,710 Must be a slow news day. 1102 00:29:36,750 --> 00:29:38,550 A new poll suggests French fries 1103 00:29:38,590 --> 00:29:40,590 are now more popular here in Britain than the chunky alternatives. 1104 00:29:40,630 --> 00:29:42,510 are now more popular here in Britain than the chunky alternatives. 1105 00:29:42,550 --> 00:29:44,310 What?! 1106 00:29:44,350 --> 00:29:46,150 This is one of the reasons why we left the EU. 1107 00:29:46,190 --> 00:29:47,590 So shit like this wouldn't happen. 1108 00:29:47,630 --> 00:29:49,190 But it's happened anyway. Yeah. 1109 00:29:49,230 --> 00:29:51,230 I must admit, I do like fries. 1110 00:29:51,270 --> 00:29:51,510 I must admit, I do like fries. 1111 00:29:51,550 --> 00:29:53,550 I like French fries. No, I don't like chunky chips. 1112 00:29:53,590 --> 00:29:53,990 I like French fries. No, I don't like chunky chips. 1113 00:29:54,030 --> 00:29:56,070 Yeah, I like both. 1114 00:29:56,110 --> 00:29:58,110 Their greasy nature and tendency to go soggy 1115 00:29:58,150 --> 00:29:58,430 Their greasy nature and tendency to go soggy 1116 00:29:58,470 --> 00:30:00,470 have been blamed for their fall from favour. 1117 00:30:00,510 --> 00:30:00,790 have been blamed for their fall from favour. 1118 00:30:00,830 --> 00:30:02,830 Do you know what? I don't even mind a soggy chip. 1119 00:30:02,870 --> 00:30:03,710 Do you know what? I don't even mind a soggy chip. 1120 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:05,750 Yeah. I like soggy chips. Love a soggy chip. 1121 00:30:05,790 --> 00:30:06,870 Yeah. I like soggy chips. Love a soggy chip. 1122 00:30:06,910 --> 00:30:08,830 But at one fish bar we visited today, 1123 00:30:08,870 --> 00:30:10,670 the old favourites remain king. 1124 00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:12,710 Well, I should bloody hope so. 1125 00:30:12,750 --> 00:30:12,990 Well, I should bloody hope so. 1126 00:30:13,030 --> 00:30:15,030 Unapologetically carb heavy and calorific. 1127 00:30:15,070 --> 00:30:15,870 Unapologetically carb heavy and calorific. 1128 00:30:15,910 --> 00:30:17,910 And delicious. They've missed that bit. 1129 00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:18,230 And delicious. They've missed that bit. 1130 00:30:18,270 --> 00:30:20,150 All that needs there now, for me, is wrapping 1131 00:30:20,190 --> 00:30:22,150 in a bit of newspaper with salt and vinegar. 1132 00:30:22,190 --> 00:30:23,310 Living the dream. 1133 00:30:23,350 --> 00:30:25,350 Chunky chips. A favourite British classic. 1134 00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:26,510 Chunky chips. A favourite British classic. 1135 00:30:26,550 --> 00:30:28,110 Oh, they look good. 1136 00:30:28,150 --> 00:30:30,150 They look good. 1137 00:30:30,190 --> 00:30:30,390 They look good. 1138 00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:32,070 You cannot beat a chunky chip. 1139 00:30:32,110 --> 00:30:33,830 If you're going to have a chip, it's got to be worth having. 1140 00:30:33,870 --> 00:30:35,910 Yes. Decent size. 1141 00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:37,950 And I do like a little bit of curry sauce to dip it in. 1142 00:30:37,990 --> 00:30:38,670 And I do like a little bit of curry sauce to dip it in. 1143 00:30:38,710 --> 00:30:40,710 Apparently, these chunky chips have been replaced 1144 00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:41,350 Apparently, these chunky chips have been replaced 1145 00:30:41,390 --> 00:30:43,390 as the nation's favourite by their much skinnier rival, the French fry. 1146 00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:45,430 as the nation's favourite by their much skinnier rival, the French fry. 1147 00:30:45,470 --> 00:30:46,790 as the nation's favourite by their much skinnier rival, the French fry. 1148 00:30:46,830 --> 00:30:48,630 Not by me, Sangeeta. 1149 00:30:48,670 --> 00:30:50,230 Does it not depend on what you're eating 1150 00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:52,270 if you have a chunky chip or a thin chip? 1151 00:30:52,310 --> 00:30:52,550 if you have a chunky chip or a thin chip? 1152 00:30:52,590 --> 00:30:54,590 Oh, here we go. "Catering college." 1153 00:30:54,630 --> 00:30:55,310 Oh, here we go. "Catering college." 1154 00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:57,350 If you're having fish and chips, you've got to have those chips. 1155 00:30:57,390 --> 00:30:58,350 If you're having fish and chips, you've got to have those chips. 1156 00:30:58,390 --> 00:30:59,830 But if you're having a burger, 1157 00:30:59,870 --> 00:31:01,470 you've got to have the French fries. 1158 00:31:01,510 --> 00:31:03,510 I mean, there's chips for different things. 1159 00:31:03,550 --> 00:31:04,110 I mean, there's chips for different things. 1160 00:31:04,150 --> 00:31:06,150 Is this chip etiquette we're talking about here? 1161 00:31:06,190 --> 00:31:06,830 Is this chip etiquette we're talking about here? 1162 00:31:06,870 --> 00:31:08,870 Well, it's just, you can't have French fries with a piece of cod. 1163 00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:10,910 Well, it's just, you can't have French fries with a piece of cod. 1164 00:31:10,950 --> 00:31:11,190 Well, it's just, you can't have French fries with a piece of cod. 1165 00:31:11,230 --> 00:31:13,030 Why not? No! 1166 00:31:13,070 --> 00:31:15,070 But some people have got a chip on their shoulder about it. 1167 00:31:15,110 --> 00:31:15,790 But some people have got a chip on their shoulder about it. 1168 00:31:15,830 --> 00:31:17,830 This is real journalism. This is what we need. 1169 00:31:17,870 --> 00:31:18,590 This is real journalism. This is what we need. 1170 00:31:18,630 --> 00:31:20,630 People on the front line eating chips. 1171 00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:20,950 People on the front line eating chips. 1172 00:31:20,990 --> 00:31:22,990 No, definitely not, old-fashioned chips 1173 00:31:23,030 --> 00:31:23,950 No, definitely not, old-fashioned chips 1174 00:31:23,990 --> 00:31:25,990 from a chip shop like that, still the best. 1175 00:31:26,030 --> 00:31:26,710 from a chip shop like that, still the best. 1176 00:31:26,750 --> 00:31:28,310 BOTH:Yay! 1177 00:31:28,350 --> 00:31:29,430 Thank you. 1178 00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,710 Absolutely. 1179 00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:32,510 He's livid. I don't blame him. 1180 00:31:32,550 --> 00:31:34,110 I think it's complete rubbish. 1181 00:31:34,150 --> 00:31:36,150 Because they're slightly larger, you get more texture in the middle 1182 00:31:36,190 --> 00:31:36,470 Because they're slightly larger, you get more texture in the middle 1183 00:31:36,510 --> 00:31:38,510 rather than just being crispy. And then nothing. 1184 00:31:38,550 --> 00:31:38,790 rather than just being crispy. And then nothing. 1185 00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:40,830 There is a place for the French fry, 1186 00:31:40,870 --> 00:31:41,110 There is a place for the French fry, 1187 00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:43,150 but definitely not in the chip shop. No. No. 1188 00:31:43,190 --> 00:31:45,150 but definitely not in the chip shop. No. No. 1189 00:31:45,190 --> 00:31:47,190 That's taking liberties, that is. That is. 1190 00:31:47,230 --> 00:31:47,670 That's taking liberties, that is. That is. 1191 00:31:47,710 --> 00:31:49,710 The survey of 2,000 Brits was conducted 1192 00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:50,070 The survey of 2,000 Brits was conducted 1193 00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:52,110 by French restaurant chain Cote Brasserie. 1194 00:31:52,150 --> 00:31:53,230 by French restaurant chain Cote Brasserie. 1195 00:31:53,270 --> 00:31:55,270 Course it's been conducted by a French chain that only sells 1196 00:31:55,310 --> 00:31:56,510 Course it's been conducted by a French chain that only sells 1197 00:31:56,550 --> 00:31:58,550 fucking chippy fucking French chips. 1198 00:31:58,590 --> 00:31:59,230 fucking chippy fucking French chips. 1199 00:31:59,270 --> 00:32:00,550 I've never been to Cote Brasserie 1200 00:32:00,590 --> 00:32:02,590 and I wouldn't waste my bloody time. 1201 00:32:02,630 --> 00:32:02,870 and I wouldn't waste my bloody time. 1202 00:32:02,910 --> 00:32:04,950 {\an8}They say "62% of people in Britain 1203 00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,990 {\an8}"prefer our French chip counterpart to the chunky version." 1204 00:32:07,030 --> 00:32:08,630 {\an8}"prefer our French chip counterpart to the chunky version." 1205 00:32:08,670 --> 00:32:10,670 No, don't believe that. Who have they been speaking to? 1206 00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:11,910 No, don't believe that. Who have they been speaking to? 1207 00:32:11,950 --> 00:32:13,950 I want names and addresses. This is wrong. 1208 00:32:13,990 --> 00:32:14,870 I want names and addresses. This is wrong. 1209 00:32:14,910 --> 00:32:16,910 Has the votes been verified by an independent adjudicator? 1210 00:32:16,950 --> 00:32:18,470 Has the votes been verified by an independent adjudicator? 1211 00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:19,910 Have they balls! 1212 00:32:19,950 --> 00:32:21,950 But in any case, Brits apparently eat chips or fries 1213 00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:23,190 But in any case, Brits apparently eat chips or fries 1214 00:32:23,230 --> 00:32:25,230 on average three times a week. 1215 00:32:25,270 --> 00:32:25,470 on average three times a week. 1216 00:32:25,510 --> 00:32:27,310 Huh? Do they really? 1217 00:32:27,350 --> 00:32:29,350 Not round my house. It's seven times a week. 1218 00:32:29,390 --> 00:32:31,070 Not round my house. It's seven times a week. 1219 00:32:31,110 --> 00:32:33,110 So the poll shows we are still partial to the potato - 1220 00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:34,270 So the poll shows we are still partial to the potato - 1221 00:32:34,310 --> 00:32:35,910 whatever way it's shaped. 1222 00:32:35,950 --> 00:32:37,950 Oh, look! 1223 00:32:37,990 --> 00:32:38,230 Oh, look! 1224 00:32:38,270 --> 00:32:40,270 That's me. I'm partial to a potato - whatever way it's shaped. 1225 00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:41,350 That's me. I'm partial to a potato - whatever way it's shaped. 1226 00:32:41,390 --> 00:32:43,310 And I am potato shaped. 1227 00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:45,030 Do you know what I would say we do - 1228 00:32:45,070 --> 00:32:47,070 at the next general election, 1229 00:32:47,110 --> 00:32:49,110 give a second ballot paper just to solve this! Yeah. 1230 00:32:49,150 --> 00:32:51,150 give a second ballot paper just to solve this! Yeah. 1231 00:32:51,190 --> 00:32:51,470 give a second ballot paper just to solve this! Yeah. 1232 00:32:51,510 --> 00:32:53,510 Because it's disgusting the way we've been hung out to dry. 1233 00:32:53,550 --> 00:32:55,270 Because it's disgusting the way we've been hung out to dry. 1234 00:32:56,870 --> 00:32:58,070 In Surrey... 1235 00:32:58,110 --> 00:33:00,110 I've noticed this thing going around town, Jane, 1236 00:33:00,150 --> 00:33:00,390 I've noticed this thing going around town, Jane, 1237 00:33:00,430 --> 00:33:01,790 cos I'm on my mobility scooter, 1238 00:33:01,830 --> 00:33:03,830 and when I'm trying to cross the road, 1239 00:33:03,870 --> 00:33:04,150 and when I'm trying to cross the road, 1240 00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:06,190 sometimes people stop in the middle. I mean, they shouldn't stop. 1241 00:33:06,230 --> 00:33:06,710 sometimes people stop in the middle. I mean, they shouldn't stop. 1242 00:33:06,750 --> 00:33:07,870 It's not like a proper crossing. 1243 00:33:07,910 --> 00:33:09,910 And they'll stop and they'll just let me go because I'm on a scooter. 1244 00:33:09,950 --> 00:33:11,070 And they'll stop and they'll just let me go because I'm on a scooter. 1245 00:33:11,110 --> 00:33:13,110 ..Simon and his sister, Jane. 1246 00:33:13,150 --> 00:33:13,390 ..Simon and his sister, Jane. 1247 00:33:13,430 --> 00:33:15,430 It's the motorcycle people, I've noticed. 1248 00:33:15,470 --> 00:33:16,750 It's the motorcycle people, I've noticed. 1249 00:33:16,790 --> 00:33:18,790 And because a car will flash you or do that. 1250 00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,310 And because a car will flash you or do that. 1251 00:33:20,350 --> 00:33:22,350 But they can't. They've got to hold on. 1252 00:33:22,390 --> 00:33:22,670 But they can't. They've got to hold on. 1253 00:33:22,710 --> 00:33:24,710 So these motorbike people, every time I do it, they go... 1254 00:33:24,750 --> 00:33:25,950 So these motorbike people, every time I do it, they go... 1255 00:33:27,790 --> 00:33:29,670 "Oh, you're getting me across!" 1256 00:33:29,710 --> 00:33:30,790 Three times this week, they've... 1257 00:33:32,790 --> 00:33:34,230 With their full helmet on? 1258 00:33:34,270 --> 00:33:35,750 Yeah, the whole helmet goes... 1259 00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:37,790 But they've got a way of doing it. It's like a little flick, 1260 00:33:37,830 --> 00:33:38,390 But they've got a way of doing it. It's like a little flick, 1261 00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:40,430 like you're flicking your hair and it really makes me laugh. 1262 00:33:40,470 --> 00:33:40,750 like you're flicking your hair and it really makes me laugh. 1263 00:33:40,790 --> 00:33:42,790 I have to be careful. I'm like, thank you. 1264 00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:43,030 I have to be careful. I'm like, thank you. 1265 00:33:44,150 --> 00:33:45,670 It's weird, innit? 1266 00:33:47,110 --> 00:33:48,950 All right. 1267 00:33:48,990 --> 00:33:50,990 Earlier in the year, pulses were racing again on Netflix. 1268 00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:51,870 Earlier in the year, pulses were racing again on Netflix. 1269 00:33:51,910 --> 00:33:53,790 I do like a bit of Bridgie. 1270 00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:55,830 So, last episode, Penelope and Colin shared a kiss. 1271 00:33:55,870 --> 00:33:57,670 So, last episode, Penelope and Colin shared a kiss. 1272 00:34:01,070 --> 00:34:03,070 Are they putting this shite on again, this Bridgerton? Jesus! 1273 00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:03,990 Are they putting this shite on again, this Bridgerton? Jesus! 1274 00:34:04,030 --> 00:34:04,990 You love it! 1275 00:34:07,750 --> 00:34:09,510 Oh, it's Penelope. 1276 00:34:09,550 --> 00:34:11,550 She's just getting over that big smackarooney. 1277 00:34:11,590 --> 00:34:11,870 She's just getting over that big smackarooney. 1278 00:34:11,910 --> 00:34:13,910 Colin. Thank you for meeting me. 1279 00:34:13,950 --> 00:34:14,390 Colin. Thank you for meeting me. 1280 00:34:14,430 --> 00:34:16,430 I apologise for the late hour, but I had to see you immediately. 1281 00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:17,270 I apologise for the late hour, but I had to see you immediately. 1282 00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:18,350 Oh, why? 1283 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,470 What is it? 1284 00:34:19,510 --> 00:34:21,110 I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. 1285 00:34:21,150 --> 00:34:22,230 I've not been able to sleep. 1286 00:34:22,270 --> 00:34:24,270 I know, my sleeping is terrible as well at the minute. 1287 00:34:24,310 --> 00:34:24,830 I know, my sleeping is terrible as well at the minute. 1288 00:34:24,870 --> 00:34:26,790 I-I can barely speak these days. 1289 00:34:26,830 --> 00:34:28,070 SHE SQUEALS 1290 00:34:28,110 --> 00:34:29,990 He can't eat. He can't sleep. 1291 00:34:30,030 --> 00:34:32,030 Says it all, doesn't it? He's smitten. 1292 00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:32,470 Says it all, doesn't it? He's smitten. 1293 00:34:32,510 --> 00:34:34,510 You occupy my every thought. 1294 00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:35,270 You occupy my every thought. 1295 00:34:35,310 --> 00:34:37,070 WHISPERS:Why are they talking like that? 1296 00:34:37,110 --> 00:34:39,110 They're confessing to each other! No way. There's no way! 1297 00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:39,630 They're confessing to each other! No way. There's no way! 1298 00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:44,310 Goo-ah! They're canoodling! 1299 00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,350 Up against the wall, Simon. 1300 00:34:46,390 --> 00:34:46,550 Up against the wall, Simon. 1301 00:34:47,950 --> 00:34:49,350 Colin. 1302 00:34:50,710 --> 00:34:51,710 Colin! 1303 00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:52,710 Oh, shit. 1304 00:34:54,070 --> 00:34:56,070 Jesus! That escalated! 1305 00:34:56,110 --> 00:34:56,630 Jesus! That escalated! 1306 00:34:59,310 --> 00:35:01,310 Oh, he was fucking dreaming. 1307 00:35:01,350 --> 00:35:01,590 Oh, he was fucking dreaming. 1308 00:35:01,630 --> 00:35:03,630 Oh, my God. His mind's racing with the thought of their kiss. 1309 00:35:03,670 --> 00:35:04,550 Oh, my God. His mind's racing with the thought of their kiss. 1310 00:35:04,590 --> 00:35:06,590 Oh, blinkin' heck! Got us all excited there for nothing. 1311 00:35:06,630 --> 00:35:07,910 Oh, blinkin' heck! Got us all excited there for nothing. 1312 00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:09,950 A bit later, Penelope found herself 1313 00:35:09,990 --> 00:35:10,230 A bit later, Penelope found herself 1314 00:35:10,270 --> 00:35:12,270 in the arms of another eligible bachelor at a fancy party. 1315 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:14,310 in the arms of another eligible bachelor at a fancy party. 1316 00:35:14,350 --> 00:35:14,630 in the arms of another eligible bachelor at a fancy party. 1317 00:35:14,670 --> 00:35:16,670 Is everything all right, Miss Featherington? 1318 00:35:16,710 --> 00:35:16,950 Is everything all right, Miss Featherington? 1319 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:17,910 Everything is wonderful. 1320 00:35:17,950 --> 00:35:19,950 Oh, so Debling might propose to Penelope tonight. 1321 00:35:19,990 --> 00:35:20,550 Oh, so Debling might propose to Penelope tonight. 1322 00:35:20,590 --> 00:35:21,710 Yeah. 1323 00:35:21,750 --> 00:35:23,750 She wants Colin. Why settle for second best? 1324 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:25,710 She wants Colin. Why settle for second best? 1325 00:35:25,750 --> 00:35:27,750 Because she doesn't think she's going to get Colin. 1326 00:35:27,790 --> 00:35:28,070 Because she doesn't think she's going to get Colin. 1327 00:35:28,110 --> 00:35:30,110 May I ask you a question, my lord? Anything. 1328 00:35:30,150 --> 00:35:30,430 May I ask you a question, my lord? Anything. 1329 00:35:30,470 --> 00:35:32,470 Why am I sat on the edge of my fucking seat for this? 1330 00:35:32,510 --> 00:35:32,830 Why am I sat on the edge of my fucking seat for this? 1331 00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:34,870 Do you imagine that, with time, 1332 00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:36,910 Do you imagine that, with time, 1333 00:35:36,950 --> 00:35:37,230 Do you imagine that, with time, 1334 00:35:37,270 --> 00:35:39,070 love may one day grow? 1335 00:35:39,110 --> 00:35:41,110 Oh, well, that's the question. Huh. 1336 00:35:41,150 --> 00:35:41,550 Oh, well, that's the question. Huh. 1337 00:35:41,590 --> 00:35:43,590 Oh, she wants love. 1338 00:35:43,630 --> 00:35:45,110 I do not know. 1339 00:35:45,150 --> 00:35:47,150 To be honest, my work has such a large portion of my heart, 1340 00:35:47,190 --> 00:35:47,630 To be honest, my work has such a large portion of my heart, 1341 00:35:47,670 --> 00:35:49,670 it may be difficult to make more space. 1342 00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:49,950 it may be difficult to make more space. 1343 00:35:49,990 --> 00:35:51,230 That's a red flag. 1344 00:35:51,270 --> 00:35:53,270 "I don't know if I'll ever love you." 1345 00:35:53,310 --> 00:35:55,310 COLIN:Do you mind if I interrupt? It should only take a moment. 1346 00:35:55,350 --> 00:35:56,070 COLIN:Do you mind if I interrupt? It should only take a moment. 1347 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:58,110 Oh, Colin. Yes. Break it up. 1348 00:35:58,150 --> 00:35:58,630 Oh, Colin. Yes. Break it up. 1349 00:35:58,670 --> 00:36:00,550 Can I have an "excuse me"? 1350 00:36:00,590 --> 00:36:02,430 It appears you two have something to resolve. 1351 00:36:02,470 --> 00:36:04,470 Oh. Ohhhh, they definitely do, I'll tell you. 1352 00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,510 Oh. Ohhhh, they definitely do, I'll tell you. 1353 00:36:06,550 --> 00:36:06,830 Oh. Ohhhh, they definitely do, I'll tell you. 1354 00:36:06,870 --> 00:36:08,710 Colin, you're going to ruin things between me and Debling. 1355 00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,470 Well, perhaps, that is for the best. What do you mean? 1356 00:36:10,510 --> 00:36:12,510 Oh. She's fuming! Our Pen's fuming. 1357 00:36:12,550 --> 00:36:13,310 Oh. She's fuming! Our Pen's fuming. 1358 00:36:13,350 --> 00:36:15,270 You cannot marry him. You hardly know him. 1359 00:36:15,310 --> 00:36:17,310 Why not? You don't want to marry her, Colin, do you? 1360 00:36:17,350 --> 00:36:18,230 Why not? You don't want to marry her, Colin, do you? 1361 00:36:18,270 --> 00:36:19,710 I said I would help you find a husband, 1362 00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:21,750 but I cannot stand by and watch you make a mistake. 1363 00:36:21,790 --> 00:36:22,270 but I cannot stand by and watch you make a mistake. 1364 00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:24,310 Oh. Debling's going. Oh, he's stomping off now. 1365 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:24,910 Oh. Debling's going. Oh, he's stomping off now. 1366 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,950 The only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place. 1367 00:36:26,990 --> 00:36:27,870 The only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place. 1368 00:36:27,910 --> 00:36:29,030 Oh. Oh. 1369 00:36:29,070 --> 00:36:31,070 Are you just going to let her go, Colin? 1370 00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:31,510 Are you just going to let her go, Colin? 1371 00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:35,630 Taxi! 1372 00:36:35,670 --> 00:36:36,630 COLIN:Wait! 1373 00:36:38,230 --> 00:36:40,230 Oh, hello. Oh! Oh! Hang on. 1374 00:36:40,270 --> 00:36:40,550 Oh, hello. Oh! Oh! Hang on. 1375 00:36:40,590 --> 00:36:42,590 Penelope... Yes! 1376 00:36:42,630 --> 00:36:42,910 Penelope... Yes! 1377 00:36:42,950 --> 00:36:44,950 If he's faster than a horse, then she needs to marry him. 1378 00:36:44,990 --> 00:36:46,230 If he's faster than a horse, then she needs to marry him. 1379 00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:48,270 I do not wish to speak with you. Yes, you do! 1380 00:36:48,310 --> 00:36:49,550 I do not wish to speak with you. Yes, you do! 1381 00:36:49,590 --> 00:36:51,070 Let me in. "I love you! 1382 00:36:51,110 --> 00:36:53,110 "I had a naughty dream about you and I can't think of anything else." 1383 00:36:53,150 --> 00:36:54,470 "I had a naughty dream about you and I can't think of anything else." 1384 00:36:56,470 --> 00:36:58,470 We will stop at Bridgerton House first. 1385 00:36:58,510 --> 00:36:58,790 We will stop at Bridgerton House first. 1386 00:36:58,830 --> 00:37:00,670 Right, Colin, now tell her. 1387 00:37:00,710 --> 00:37:02,710 What do you want? "You, you daft sod!" 1388 00:37:02,750 --> 00:37:03,030 What do you want? "You, you daft sod!" 1389 00:37:03,070 --> 00:37:05,070 Did Lord Debling propose? What's it got to do with you, Colin? 1390 00:37:05,110 --> 00:37:05,390 Did Lord Debling propose? What's it got to do with you, Colin? 1391 00:37:05,430 --> 00:37:06,790 Why am I sat on the edge of my seat again with this? 1392 00:37:06,830 --> 00:37:08,430 I don't know. Sh! 1393 00:37:08,470 --> 00:37:10,470 He will leave you, and he is too particular. 1394 00:37:10,510 --> 00:37:11,470 He will leave you, and he is too particular. 1395 00:37:11,510 --> 00:37:13,510 And he is... He is... Not me! 1396 00:37:13,550 --> 00:37:15,550 Yeah, that's what he wants to say. 1397 00:37:15,590 --> 00:37:15,990 Yeah, that's what he wants to say. 1398 00:37:16,030 --> 00:37:17,910 "He's not me." 1399 00:37:17,950 --> 00:37:19,510 "You want me, Penelope!" 1400 00:37:19,550 --> 00:37:21,550 What if I did have feelings for you? 1401 00:37:21,590 --> 00:37:22,190 What if I did have feelings for you? 1402 00:37:22,230 --> 00:37:24,230 About time, Colin. Oh, crikey Moses. I know, it took him... 1403 00:37:24,270 --> 00:37:25,510 About time, Colin. Oh, crikey Moses. I know, it took him... 1404 00:37:25,550 --> 00:37:27,310 It's taken a while. I know. 1405 00:37:27,350 --> 00:37:29,350 It is everything I have wanted to say to you for weeks. 1406 00:37:29,390 --> 00:37:31,390 It is everything I have wanted to say to you for weeks. 1407 00:37:31,430 --> 00:37:31,710 It is everything I have wanted to say to you for weeks. 1408 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,350 Oh, he's admitted it. He's admitted it! 1409 00:37:33,390 --> 00:37:34,790 Admitted it, man. 1410 00:37:37,790 --> 00:37:39,790 THEY PANT 1411 00:37:39,830 --> 00:37:40,990 THEY PANT 1412 00:37:41,030 --> 00:37:42,430 Ah! 1413 00:37:42,470 --> 00:37:44,470 I love it! 1414 00:37:44,510 --> 00:37:46,510 This is very Mills and Boon, isn't it? Very. 1415 00:37:46,550 --> 00:37:47,950 This is very Mills and Boon, isn't it? Very. 1416 00:37:51,030 --> 00:37:52,630 This is filth on wheels. 1417 00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:54,470 This is raunchy, innit? 1418 00:37:54,510 --> 00:37:56,510 See, that's the trouble with Bridgerton. 1419 00:37:56,550 --> 00:37:56,870 See, that's the trouble with Bridgerton. 1420 00:37:56,910 --> 00:37:58,910 It starts off as a little kiss and now it goes to porn, Simon. 1421 00:37:58,950 --> 00:38:00,070 It starts off as a little kiss and now it goes to porn, Simon. 1422 00:38:00,110 --> 00:38:01,070 Porn! 1423 00:38:03,670 --> 00:38:05,230 He's kissing her tits! 1424 00:38:05,270 --> 00:38:06,230 Ha-ha! 1425 00:38:07,350 --> 00:38:09,350 Not bosom-handling! Yes. 1426 00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:09,910 Not bosom-handling! Yes. 1427 00:38:12,950 --> 00:38:14,590 Ah! Argh! 1428 00:38:14,630 --> 00:38:15,670 He's going south! 1429 00:38:19,070 --> 00:38:20,790 "Yep. Ravish me." 1430 00:38:20,830 --> 00:38:22,190 Not on the first date! 1431 00:38:25,670 --> 00:38:27,670 Hey, hey! I don't think they did that in them days, did they? 1432 00:38:27,710 --> 00:38:29,030 Hey, hey! I don't think they did that in them days, did they? 1433 00:38:29,070 --> 00:38:31,070 Well, I hope she's got her going-out knickers on. 1434 00:38:31,110 --> 00:38:31,430 Well, I hope she's got her going-out knickers on. 1435 00:38:33,190 --> 00:38:34,310 "Colin!" 1436 00:38:34,350 --> 00:38:35,310 Ohhhh! 1437 00:38:37,030 --> 00:38:38,390 SHE GASPS 1438 00:38:38,430 --> 00:38:40,390 Oh, God. I was really into it. 1439 00:38:40,430 --> 00:38:42,430 And now I'm sitting there watching it with you. 1440 00:38:42,470 --> 00:38:43,430 And now I'm sitting there watching it with you. 1441 00:38:44,870 --> 00:38:46,790 Oh! Somebody really knocking on the window. 1442 00:38:46,830 --> 00:38:48,030 Oh, we're here, madame! 1443 00:38:48,070 --> 00:38:50,070 Colin.What? We're at your house. 1444 00:38:50,110 --> 00:38:50,310 Colin.What? We're at your house. 1445 00:38:50,350 --> 00:38:51,910 Tell him to go round the block! 1446 00:38:53,950 --> 00:38:55,470 Could the carriage driver not keep on driving? 1447 00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:57,430 What's he saying? Could the carriage man keep on driving? 1448 00:38:57,470 --> 00:38:58,950 Yeah! Go on! 1449 00:38:58,990 --> 00:39:00,990 "Because me hand's stuck." Yeah. 1450 00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:01,470 "Because me hand's stuck." Yeah. 1451 00:39:01,510 --> 00:39:03,510 Are you coming with me? Oh, he's inviting her in! 1452 00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:03,990 Are you coming with me? Oh, he's inviting her in! 1453 00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,310 Your family will see me. 1454 00:39:05,350 --> 00:39:07,110 For God's sake, Penelope Featherington, 1455 00:39:07,150 --> 00:39:09,150 are you going to marry me or not? 1456 00:39:09,190 --> 00:39:09,710 are you going to marry me or not? 1457 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:11,750 Argh! Oh, my God, he proposed! 1458 00:39:11,790 --> 00:39:11,950 Argh! Oh, my God, he proposed! 1459 00:39:16,470 --> 00:39:18,470 Well, that was jolly, wasn't it, Mary? 1460 00:39:18,510 --> 00:39:18,790 Well, that was jolly, wasn't it, Mary? 1461 00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:20,830 She's been fingered and proposed to in the same night. 1462 00:39:20,870 --> 00:39:21,630 She's been fingered and proposed to in the same night. 1463 00:39:21,670 --> 00:39:23,670 What a night for Penelope. What a night! 1464 00:39:23,710 --> 00:39:24,430 What a night for Penelope. What a night! 1465 00:39:32,510 --> 00:39:33,710 In Wiltshire... 1466 00:39:33,750 --> 00:39:35,750 You've still got your own hips, haven't you, Mary? 1467 00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:36,030 You've still got your own hips, haven't you, Mary? 1468 00:39:36,070 --> 00:39:37,750 Yes. And knees. 1469 00:39:37,790 --> 00:39:39,790 I'm afraid that jogging isn't that good for you. 1470 00:39:39,830 --> 00:39:40,990 I'm afraid that jogging isn't that good for you. 1471 00:39:41,030 --> 00:39:42,990 Because people that jogged a lot 1472 00:39:43,030 --> 00:39:45,030 have got fake hips and knees now. Have they? Yes. 1473 00:39:45,070 --> 00:39:46,230 have got fake hips and knees now. Have they? Yes. 1474 00:39:46,270 --> 00:39:48,270 ..Giles and his wife, Mary. 1475 00:39:48,310 --> 00:39:48,550 ..Giles and his wife, Mary. 1476 00:39:48,590 --> 00:39:50,590 You said that you've got banana bosom, Mary. 1477 00:39:50,630 --> 00:39:51,150 You said that you've got banana bosom, Mary. 1478 00:39:51,190 --> 00:39:53,190 I didn't. I said a woman risked banana bosom. 1479 00:39:53,230 --> 00:39:55,070 I didn't. I said a woman risked banana bosom. 1480 00:39:55,110 --> 00:39:57,110 Banana bosom? Yes. Through running. 1481 00:39:57,150 --> 00:39:58,230 Banana bosom? Yes. Through running. 1482 00:39:58,270 --> 00:39:59,710 What is banana bosom? 1483 00:39:59,750 --> 00:40:01,750 You know perfectly well what it is, Charles. 1484 00:40:01,790 --> 00:40:02,190 You know perfectly well what it is, Charles. 1485 00:40:02,230 --> 00:40:04,230 Tell me again. It's when the poitrine... 1486 00:40:04,270 --> 00:40:05,830 Tell me again. It's when the poitrine... 1487 00:40:05,870 --> 00:40:07,870 The what?! Could you speak in English? 1488 00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:08,190 The what?! Could you speak in English? 1489 00:40:08,230 --> 00:40:10,230 When your chest does not remain taut, you know... 1490 00:40:10,270 --> 00:40:10,750 When your chest does not remain taut, you know... 1491 00:40:10,790 --> 00:40:12,110 OK. You know that. 1492 00:40:12,150 --> 00:40:14,150 And that's why, when I went to that trainer years ago, 1493 00:40:14,190 --> 00:40:14,710 And that's why, when I went to that trainer years ago, 1494 00:40:14,750 --> 00:40:16,750 he said, "Never run on a running machine. 1495 00:40:16,790 --> 00:40:18,670 he said, "Never run on a running machine. 1496 00:40:18,710 --> 00:40:20,710 "It's very bad for your bosom. 1497 00:40:20,750 --> 00:40:20,990 "It's very bad for your bosom. 1498 00:40:21,030 --> 00:40:23,030 "Walk uphill fast instead." Right. 1499 00:40:23,070 --> 00:40:23,790 "Walk uphill fast instead." Right. 1500 00:40:24,990 --> 00:40:26,990 In October, Chef Nadiya was back on the BBC, 1501 00:40:27,030 --> 00:40:28,110 In October, Chef Nadiya was back on the BBC, 1502 00:40:28,150 --> 00:40:30,150 making something out of nothing. 1503 00:40:30,190 --> 00:40:30,870 making something out of nothing. 1504 00:40:30,910 --> 00:40:32,910 The problem with watching this is 1505 00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:33,590 The problem with watching this is 1506 00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:35,630 Nadiya's food looks a lot nicer than yours. 1507 00:40:35,670 --> 00:40:37,510 Nadiya's food looks a lot nicer than yours. 1508 00:40:37,550 --> 00:40:39,350 She does present it well, to be fair, doesn't she? 1509 00:40:39,390 --> 00:40:41,390 Dad would cook about once a month. 1510 00:40:41,430 --> 00:40:41,670 Dad would cook about once a month. 1511 00:40:41,710 --> 00:40:43,710 And it'd be like the most diabolically, like, nice meal. Yeah. 1512 00:40:43,750 --> 00:40:44,390 And it'd be like the most diabolically, like, nice meal. Yeah. 1513 00:40:44,430 --> 00:40:46,430 But it's only, like, once a month. But you are a better cook. 1514 00:40:46,470 --> 00:40:47,350 But it's only, like, once a month. But you are a better cook. 1515 00:40:47,390 --> 00:40:48,670 No, but compared... 1516 00:40:48,710 --> 00:40:50,710 Dad's like Ronaldo and you're like Messi. 1517 00:40:50,750 --> 00:40:51,190 Dad's like Ronaldo and you're like Messi. 1518 00:40:55,590 --> 00:40:57,590 If I see leftovers in the fridge, I'm like... 1519 00:40:57,630 --> 00:40:58,510 If I see leftovers in the fridge, I'm like... 1520 00:41:00,150 --> 00:41:02,150 Like, not for me. Nah. 1521 00:41:02,190 --> 00:41:03,030 Like, not for me. Nah. 1522 00:41:03,070 --> 00:41:05,070 And if it's in the Tupperware already... Nah. 1523 00:41:05,110 --> 00:41:05,990 And if it's in the Tupperware already... Nah. 1524 00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:08,030 New meal. New meal, thank you. 1525 00:41:08,070 --> 00:41:08,750 New meal. New meal, thank you. 1526 00:41:08,790 --> 00:41:10,750 I was so bad, but it's the truth. 1527 00:41:10,790 --> 00:41:12,790 We always make Dad eat the leftovers. 1528 00:41:12,830 --> 00:41:13,110 We always make Dad eat the leftovers. 1529 00:41:13,150 --> 00:41:15,150 Yeah! Mum's always like, "That's Dad's." 1530 00:41:15,190 --> 00:41:16,270 Yeah! Mum's always like, "That's Dad's." 1531 00:41:16,310 --> 00:41:18,310 Next, an absolutely brilliant gathering board 1532 00:41:18,350 --> 00:41:18,590 Next, an absolutely brilliant gathering board 1533 00:41:18,630 --> 00:41:19,830 that's designed to share. 1534 00:41:19,870 --> 00:41:21,870 A gathering board? What the bloody hell is a gathering board? 1535 00:41:21,910 --> 00:41:22,390 A gathering board? What the bloody hell is a gathering board? 1536 00:41:22,430 --> 00:41:24,430 We had to bring a board night for my 29th birthday, didn't we? 1537 00:41:24,470 --> 00:41:25,350 We had to bring a board night for my 29th birthday, didn't we? 1538 00:41:25,390 --> 00:41:27,150 Yeah. That were good, that, weren't it? 1539 00:41:27,190 --> 00:41:29,190 Jess Wilson made that salami Christmas tree. 1540 00:41:29,230 --> 00:41:29,470 Jess Wilson made that salami Christmas tree. 1541 00:41:29,510 --> 00:41:31,390 Ooh, yeah. 1542 00:41:31,430 --> 00:41:33,150 This beautiful breakfast is not only now 1543 00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:34,670 my favourite way to serve eggs... 1544 00:41:34,710 --> 00:41:35,830 Well, we love eggs. 1545 00:41:35,870 --> 00:41:37,870 Yeah, I like a poached egg. I like a fried egg. Yeah. 1546 00:41:37,910 --> 00:41:38,830 Yeah, I like a poached egg. I like a fried egg. Yeah. 1547 00:41:38,870 --> 00:41:40,870 Give me a scrambled egg any time. 1548 00:41:40,910 --> 00:41:42,790 ..it's also a great way to start off 1549 00:41:42,830 --> 00:41:44,510 someone's special day. 1550 00:41:44,550 --> 00:41:45,910 # In the summertime... # 1551 00:41:45,950 --> 00:41:47,550 I shall die. Is that...? 1552 00:41:47,590 --> 00:41:49,390 My party-perfect poached eggs 1553 00:41:49,430 --> 00:41:51,430 and cook once, eat twice creamy beetroot dip. 1554 00:41:51,470 --> 00:41:52,270 and cook once, eat twice creamy beetroot dip. 1555 00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,310 Oh, I don't know about that. Oh, I love beetroot, Ronnie. 1556 00:41:54,350 --> 00:41:55,430 Oh, I don't know about that. Oh, I love beetroot, Ronnie. 1557 00:41:55,470 --> 00:41:57,470 I'm not even on the fence on this one. Eggs and beetroot. 1558 00:41:57,510 --> 00:41:57,870 I'm not even on the fence on this one. Eggs and beetroot. 1559 00:41:57,910 --> 00:41:59,910 That's a no. 1560 00:41:59,950 --> 00:42:00,230 That's a no. 1561 00:42:00,270 --> 00:42:01,550 # Life is for living... # 1562 00:42:01,590 --> 00:42:03,590 Poached eggs should be on toast. That is it. Yeah. 1563 00:42:03,630 --> 00:42:04,510 Poached eggs should be on toast. That is it. Yeah. 1564 00:42:04,550 --> 00:42:06,030 See, now you could do something 1565 00:42:06,070 --> 00:42:08,070 but not have that beetroot there, couldn't you? 1566 00:42:08,110 --> 00:42:08,350 but not have that beetroot there, couldn't you? 1567 00:42:08,390 --> 00:42:10,390 And do... Egg. 1568 00:42:10,430 --> 00:42:10,590 And do... Egg. 1569 00:42:11,830 --> 00:42:13,830 My favourite way to eat an egg is poached. 1570 00:42:13,870 --> 00:42:14,190 My favourite way to eat an egg is poached. 1571 00:42:14,230 --> 00:42:16,230 I love a warm, runny yolk. 1572 00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:17,190 I love a warm, runny yolk. 1573 00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:18,750 Can you make poached eggs? 1574 00:42:18,790 --> 00:42:20,670 Because they're the hardest eggs to make. 1575 00:42:20,710 --> 00:42:22,710 Well, I can, but sometimes I'll use six eggs 1576 00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:23,670 Well, I can, but sometimes I'll use six eggs 1577 00:42:23,710 --> 00:42:25,710 to get to the one egg that I'm going to eat. 1578 00:42:25,750 --> 00:42:26,030 to get to the one egg that I'm going to eat. 1579 00:42:26,070 --> 00:42:28,070 I've tried loads. I've tried swirling it around 1580 00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:29,790 what people say... And then drop it in, yeah. 1581 00:42:29,830 --> 00:42:31,830 Put it in vinegar. Yeah. 1582 00:42:31,870 --> 00:42:32,230 Put it in vinegar. Yeah. 1583 00:42:32,270 --> 00:42:33,630 Oh, I've had... Oh, I don't put vinegar. 1584 00:42:33,670 --> 00:42:35,350 I've had them in clingfilm. 1585 00:42:35,390 --> 00:42:37,390 Put them in there, burnt me fucking fingers. 1586 00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:37,870 Put them in there, burnt me fucking fingers. 1587 00:42:37,910 --> 00:42:39,870 I just can't do poached eggs. 1588 00:42:39,910 --> 00:42:41,910 First, get a pan of water on the hob 1589 00:42:41,950 --> 00:42:42,190 First, get a pan of water on the hob 1590 00:42:42,230 --> 00:42:44,230 and one bowl for every single egg. Oh! 1591 00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:44,950 and one bowl for every single egg. Oh! 1592 00:42:44,990 --> 00:42:46,990 How much washing-up does she want to make? 1593 00:42:47,030 --> 00:42:47,270 How much washing-up does she want to make? 1594 00:42:47,310 --> 00:42:49,310 You can tell she's got a dishwasher. 1595 00:42:49,350 --> 00:42:49,630 You can tell she's got a dishwasher. 1596 00:42:49,670 --> 00:42:51,590 And then just drop them in. 1597 00:42:51,630 --> 00:42:52,870 OK. 1598 00:42:52,910 --> 00:42:54,870 We've been hitting it in the tornado blasters. 1599 00:42:54,910 --> 00:42:56,510 So she's just going to crack it right in there? 1600 00:42:56,550 --> 00:42:58,550 No, she's got that wrong. Yeah. 1601 00:42:58,590 --> 00:42:58,870 No, she's got that wrong. Yeah. 1602 00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:00,750 Should be swirly, swirly. Should be swirly, swirly. 1603 00:43:00,790 --> 00:43:02,670 Sorry, Mr Professional Chef over here. 1604 00:43:02,710 --> 00:43:04,710 Now for my third tip for poached-egg perfection. 1605 00:43:04,750 --> 00:43:06,070 Now for my third tip for poached-egg perfection. 1606 00:43:06,110 --> 00:43:08,110 A bowl of cold water, plus some ice cubes. 1607 00:43:08,150 --> 00:43:08,910 A bowl of cold water, plus some ice cubes. 1608 00:43:08,950 --> 00:43:10,950 Oh, put them in iced water, innit? 1609 00:43:10,990 --> 00:43:11,190 Oh, put them in iced water, innit? 1610 00:43:11,230 --> 00:43:12,990 Oh, let's be fair. 1611 00:43:13,030 --> 00:43:15,030 Who wants to be fannying about like this? 1612 00:43:15,070 --> 00:43:15,430 Who wants to be fannying about like this? 1613 00:43:15,470 --> 00:43:17,470 I bet it's Joseph Joseph, that, about £300. 1614 00:43:17,510 --> 00:43:17,990 I bet it's Joseph Joseph, that, about £300. 1615 00:43:18,030 --> 00:43:19,550 Yeah, for an ice-cube tray. 1616 00:43:19,590 --> 00:43:21,590 It won't be the one that's come with the freezer. 1617 00:43:21,630 --> 00:43:21,870 It won't be the one that's come with the freezer. 1618 00:43:21,910 --> 00:43:22,950 Oh, God, no! 1619 00:43:22,990 --> 00:43:24,670 Now to build my breakfast board. 1620 00:43:24,710 --> 00:43:26,270 Why a board? Why a board? 1621 00:43:26,310 --> 00:43:28,310 I suppose she can't really afford to use any more plates 1622 00:43:28,350 --> 00:43:28,710 I suppose she can't really afford to use any more plates 1623 00:43:28,750 --> 00:43:30,190 because they're all in the washing-up... 1624 00:43:30,230 --> 00:43:31,670 That's why it's on a board. 1625 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:33,710 She's probably got that out of the garage. 1626 00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:34,110 She's probably got that out of the garage. 1627 00:43:34,150 --> 00:43:36,150 This kind of beats having beans on toast, doesn't it? 1628 00:43:36,190 --> 00:43:36,550 This kind of beats having beans on toast, doesn't it? 1629 00:43:36,590 --> 00:43:37,870 No. No, no. 1630 00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:39,910 Don't slag off beans on toast. 1631 00:43:39,950 --> 00:43:40,350 Don't slag off beans on toast. 1632 00:43:40,390 --> 00:43:42,390 Students for centuries have got by on beans on toast. 1633 00:43:42,430 --> 00:43:42,830 Students for centuries have got by on beans on toast. 1634 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:44,870 Not beetroot smoothie. No. 1635 00:43:44,910 --> 00:43:45,790 Not beetroot smoothie. No. 1636 00:43:45,830 --> 00:43:47,430 Remember, we eat with our eyes. 1637 00:43:47,470 --> 00:43:49,470 If somebody served you this, you'd be like, "Wow!" 1638 00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:50,190 If somebody served you this, you'd be like, "Wow!" 1639 00:43:50,230 --> 00:43:51,950 It wouldn't be wow. No. 1640 00:43:51,990 --> 00:43:53,630 What have you done? 1641 00:43:53,670 --> 00:43:55,230 I want to add some texture. 1642 00:43:55,270 --> 00:43:57,270 So I've got pickled red cabbage. 1643 00:43:57,310 --> 00:43:57,670 So I've got pickled red cabbage. 1644 00:43:57,710 --> 00:43:59,710 Red cabbage. If she puts red cabbage, no, I'm out. 1645 00:43:59,750 --> 00:43:59,990 Red cabbage. If she puts red cabbage, no, I'm out. 1646 00:44:00,030 --> 00:44:02,030 Red cabbage for breakfast?! 1647 00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:02,310 Red cabbage for breakfast?! 1648 00:44:02,350 --> 00:44:04,070 And wait for it... 1649 00:44:04,110 --> 00:44:05,950 What's she done? Now what's she putting on? 1650 00:44:05,990 --> 00:44:07,190 ..a drizzle of honey. 1651 00:44:07,230 --> 00:44:08,990 Honey and eggs? Honey and eggs? 1652 00:44:09,030 --> 00:44:11,030 Oh, my days! Nadiya is a rule-breaker in the kitchen. 1653 00:44:11,070 --> 00:44:12,110 Oh, my days! Nadiya is a rule-breaker in the kitchen. 1654 00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:14,150 Like, you just don't know what to expect with her. 1655 00:44:14,190 --> 00:44:14,830 Like, you just don't know what to expect with her. 1656 00:44:14,870 --> 00:44:16,870 We like honey, don't we? Not on an egg, though. 1657 00:44:16,910 --> 00:44:18,310 We like honey, don't we? Not on an egg, though. 1658 00:44:18,350 --> 00:44:20,350 Yes. Not on a bloody egg. No. 1659 00:44:20,390 --> 00:44:21,110 Yes. Not on a bloody egg. No. 1660 00:44:21,150 --> 00:44:23,150 Best way to eat this is with warm, crispy buttered toast. 1661 00:44:23,190 --> 00:44:25,190 Best way to eat this is with warm, crispy buttered toast. 1662 00:44:25,230 --> 00:44:26,030 Best way to eat this is with warm, crispy buttered toast. 1663 00:44:26,070 --> 00:44:28,070 Thank you. Jeez, I did wonder. Oh! 1664 00:44:28,110 --> 00:44:28,430 Thank you. Jeez, I did wonder. Oh! 1665 00:44:28,470 --> 00:44:30,470 Yeah. Warm, crispy, buttery toast. 1666 00:44:30,510 --> 00:44:30,710 Yeah. Warm, crispy, buttery toast. 1667 00:44:30,750 --> 00:44:31,910 Now we're talking! 1668 00:44:35,510 --> 00:44:37,270 Do you know what I'd rather have for breakfast? 1669 00:44:37,310 --> 00:44:39,310 A ciggie and I don't even smoke. 1670 00:44:39,350 --> 00:44:39,630 A ciggie and I don't even smoke. 1671 00:44:39,670 --> 00:44:41,670 I think that this might be all right in London. 1672 00:44:41,710 --> 00:44:43,350 I think that this might be all right in London. 1673 00:44:43,390 --> 00:44:45,390 In a city where there's lots of different nationalities. 1674 00:44:45,430 --> 00:44:47,430 In a city where there's lots of different nationalities. 1675 00:44:47,470 --> 00:44:47,870 In a city where there's lots of different nationalities. 1676 00:44:47,910 --> 00:44:49,910 But you're not going to get some old Tory doing this, Nutty, 1677 00:44:49,950 --> 00:44:51,390 But you're not going to get some old Tory doing this, Nutty, 1678 00:44:51,430 --> 00:44:53,430 in the shires. Oh, you are. You're not. Yes, you are, Tubs. 1679 00:44:53,470 --> 00:44:54,470 in the shires. Oh, you are. You're not. Yes, you are, Tubs. 1680 00:44:54,510 --> 00:44:56,510 A Tory's going to look at that and they're going to scream. 1681 00:44:56,550 --> 00:44:58,150 A Tory's going to look at that and they're going to scream. 1682 00:44:59,670 --> 00:45:00,910 In Leeds... 1683 00:45:00,950 --> 00:45:02,830 You want to know why I went to Huddersfield Uni? 1684 00:45:02,870 --> 00:45:04,350 Do you know this story, actually? 1685 00:45:04,390 --> 00:45:06,390 No, we went to the same uni and I absolutely do not know. 1686 00:45:06,430 --> 00:45:07,430 No, we went to the same uni and I absolutely do not know. 1687 00:45:07,470 --> 00:45:09,470 ..best friends Danielle and Daniella. 1688 00:45:09,510 --> 00:45:09,990 ..best friends Danielle and Daniella. 1689 00:45:10,030 --> 00:45:11,870 So I went to Huddersfield Uni 1690 00:45:11,910 --> 00:45:13,910 because Patrick Stewart was like the chairperson. 1691 00:45:13,950 --> 00:45:15,310 because Patrick Stewart was like the chairperson. 1692 00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:17,230 He was the Chancellor. Chancellor. Me too. 1693 00:45:17,270 --> 00:45:18,550 And I was a Star Trek fan. 1694 00:45:18,590 --> 00:45:20,590 And I was like, I'm going to meet him at my graduation. 1695 00:45:20,630 --> 00:45:21,670 And I was like, I'm going to meet him at my graduation. 1696 00:45:21,710 --> 00:45:23,670 I didn't meet him at my graduation. 1697 00:45:23,710 --> 00:45:25,710 I did! You met him? I had him at my graduation. 1698 00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:26,070 I did! You met him? I had him at my graduation. 1699 00:45:26,110 --> 00:45:27,230 Oh! He wasn't at mine. 1700 00:45:27,270 --> 00:45:29,270 And he's the reason why I went to Huddersfield Uni. 1701 00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,310 Not because I was a Trekkie, just cos I love Patrick Stewart. 1702 00:45:31,350 --> 00:45:31,630 Not because I was a Trekkie, just cos I love Patrick Stewart. 1703 00:45:31,670 --> 00:45:33,230 Oh! But he was at mine. I'm fuming! 1704 00:45:33,270 --> 00:45:34,790 Oh, you poor... I know! 1705 00:45:34,830 --> 00:45:36,630 And there was a Facebook group that was called, 1706 00:45:36,670 --> 00:45:38,670 "When I graduate, I'm going to lick Patrick Stewart's head." 1707 00:45:38,710 --> 00:45:39,590 "When I graduate, I'm going to lick Patrick Stewart's head." 1708 00:45:39,630 --> 00:45:41,390 So my tutor thought I set it up. 1709 00:45:43,670 --> 00:45:45,110 On an autumn night... 1710 00:45:45,150 --> 00:45:47,150 ..more kids were meddling with their parents' love life 1711 00:45:47,190 --> 00:45:48,390 ..more kids were meddling with their parents' love life 1712 00:45:48,430 --> 00:45:50,390 on ITV1. 1713 00:45:50,430 --> 00:45:51,550 Oh! 1714 00:45:51,590 --> 00:45:53,590 God, I can't imagine watching Mum or Dad date. 1715 00:45:53,630 --> 00:45:54,110 God, I can't imagine watching Mum or Dad date. 1716 00:45:54,150 --> 00:45:56,150 That would cringe me out to the bone. 1717 00:45:56,190 --> 00:45:56,430 That would cringe me out to the bone. 1718 00:45:56,470 --> 00:45:57,630 That would be so cringe. 1719 00:45:57,670 --> 00:45:59,670 Just the thought of them being romantic in general... 1720 00:45:59,710 --> 00:46:00,430 Just the thought of them being romantic in general... 1721 00:46:00,470 --> 00:46:02,470 Eugh, no, thank you. ..it's just making me ill. 1722 00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:03,550 Eugh, no, thank you. ..it's just making me ill. 1723 00:46:03,590 --> 00:46:05,590 # Baby, baby, when I look at you... # 1724 00:46:05,630 --> 00:46:05,910 # Baby, baby, when I look at you... # 1725 00:46:05,950 --> 00:46:07,950 I'm at the right age. But I don't have kids. 1726 00:46:07,990 --> 00:46:08,590 I'm at the right age. But I don't have kids. 1727 00:46:08,630 --> 00:46:10,630 {\an8}Could I borrow Max for the purposes of the show? 1728 00:46:10,670 --> 00:46:11,830 {\an8}Could I borrow Max for the purposes of the show? 1729 00:46:11,870 --> 00:46:13,870 {\an8}He'd probably prefer you on it than me on it. 1730 00:46:13,910 --> 00:46:14,550 {\an8}He'd probably prefer you on it than me on it. 1731 00:46:14,590 --> 00:46:16,590 So, yes. Good point. You probably could borrow Max. 1732 00:46:16,630 --> 00:46:17,430 So, yes. Good point. You probably could borrow Max. 1733 00:46:17,470 --> 00:46:19,470 My Mum, Your Uncle. Yeah. 1734 00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:19,990 My Mum, Your Uncle. Yeah. 1735 00:46:20,030 --> 00:46:22,030 In the programme, Davina had a surprise in store 1736 00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:22,710 In the programme, Davina had a surprise in store 1737 00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:24,510 for the middle-aged singletons. 1738 00:46:24,550 --> 00:46:26,550 DAVINA: I want to talk to you about something 1739 00:46:26,590 --> 00:46:26,910 DAVINA: I want to talk to you about something 1740 00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:28,870 that you haven't been aware of. 1741 00:46:28,910 --> 00:46:30,190 Oh. What's that? 1742 00:46:30,230 --> 00:46:32,230 And that is a secret room that you lot have not had access to. 1743 00:46:32,270 --> 00:46:34,270 And that is a secret room that you lot have not had access to. 1744 00:46:34,310 --> 00:46:35,670 And that is a secret room that you lot have not had access to. 1745 00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:37,710 Oh, it's not a love den, is it? 1746 00:46:37,750 --> 00:46:39,590 It's a red room. 1747 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:41,310 I don't think it's a red room, Jenny. 1748 00:46:41,350 --> 00:46:42,670 It's called "the snug". 1749 00:46:42,710 --> 00:46:44,710 Sexy snug. Oh, the sexy snug. 1750 00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:45,870 Sexy snug. Oh, the sexy snug. 1751 00:46:45,910 --> 00:46:47,910 It's just a really nice private space 1752 00:46:47,950 --> 00:46:48,950 It's just a really nice private space 1753 00:46:48,990 --> 00:46:50,990 for two of you to get to know each other better. 1754 00:46:51,030 --> 00:46:52,230 for two of you to get to know each other better. 1755 00:46:52,270 --> 00:46:53,710 Oh, how disgusting! 1756 00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,270 Do you think it's got cameras in there? 1757 00:46:55,310 --> 00:46:57,110 Of course it's got cameras. Oh! 1758 00:46:57,150 --> 00:46:59,150 But... The kids don't know... 1759 00:46:59,190 --> 00:46:59,710 But... The kids don't know... 1760 00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:01,750 What don't the kids know? What don't the kids know? 1761 00:47:01,790 --> 00:47:02,990 What don't the kids know? What don't the kids know? 1762 00:47:03,030 --> 00:47:05,030 You have the power to cut the feed to the kids' bunker. 1763 00:47:05,070 --> 00:47:07,070 You have the power to cut the feed to the kids' bunker. 1764 00:47:07,110 --> 00:47:07,350 You have the power to cut the feed to the kids' bunker. 1765 00:47:07,390 --> 00:47:08,790 Oh, my God! 1766 00:47:08,830 --> 00:47:10,830 Yeah, that means they can get jiggy. 1767 00:47:10,870 --> 00:47:11,270 Yeah, that means they can get jiggy. 1768 00:47:11,310 --> 00:47:13,310 So if they wanted to have a bit of, uh, quiet time. 1769 00:47:13,350 --> 00:47:15,350 So if they wanted to have a bit of, uh, quiet time. 1770 00:47:15,390 --> 00:47:15,910 So if they wanted to have a bit of, uh, quiet time. 1771 00:47:15,950 --> 00:47:17,550 You were just going to say sex, Shirl, 1772 00:47:17,590 --> 00:47:18,910 I don't know why you didn't say it. 1773 00:47:18,950 --> 00:47:20,950 The children chose... 1774 00:47:20,990 --> 00:47:21,150 The children chose... 1775 00:47:22,390 --> 00:47:24,030 ..Danny. 1776 00:47:24,070 --> 00:47:26,070 Fantastic! BOTH:Ohhhh! 1777 00:47:26,110 --> 00:47:26,550 Fantastic! BOTH:Ohhhh! 1778 00:47:26,590 --> 00:47:27,550 Lovely! 1779 00:47:29,030 --> 00:47:31,030 Jenny, would you like to come with me to the snug? 1780 00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:31,310 Jenny, would you like to come with me to the snug? 1781 00:47:31,350 --> 00:47:32,790 I'd love to. Oh, fantastic. 1782 00:47:32,830 --> 00:47:34,830 No, I would not want to be Jenny's son right now. Honestly. 1783 00:47:34,870 --> 00:47:36,150 No, I would not want to be Jenny's son right now. Honestly. 1784 00:47:36,190 --> 00:47:38,190 Oh, I'll be saying, "My mum's not going in there. 1785 00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:38,790 Oh, I'll be saying, "My mum's not going in there. 1786 00:47:38,830 --> 00:47:40,830 "My bloody lovely mother's not going anywhere near the fucking snug!" 1787 00:47:40,870 --> 00:47:41,350 "My bloody lovely mother's not going anywhere near the fucking snug!" 1788 00:47:41,390 --> 00:47:43,390 "Get your hands off my mother in that snug." 1789 00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:44,510 "Get your hands off my mother in that snug." 1790 00:47:44,550 --> 00:47:45,950 "She is a saint!" "You pig!" 1791 00:47:48,550 --> 00:47:50,550 Enjoy. Have a great time, both of you. 1792 00:47:50,590 --> 00:47:50,870 Enjoy. Have a great time, both of you. 1793 00:47:50,910 --> 00:47:52,070 Oh, they're going now?! 1794 00:47:52,110 --> 00:47:54,110 Oh, right. Strike while the iron's hot! 1795 00:47:54,150 --> 00:47:54,390 Oh, right. Strike while the iron's hot! 1796 00:47:54,430 --> 00:47:56,070 They're going snogging in the snug. 1797 00:47:56,110 --> 00:47:57,630 Snogging in the snug. Eugh! 1798 00:47:57,670 --> 00:47:59,670 Could you imagine Mum snogging? Eugh! 1799 00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:00,710 Could you imagine Mum snogging? Eugh! 1800 00:48:00,750 --> 00:48:02,750 # Crown you in my heart 1801 00:48:02,790 --> 00:48:02,990 # Crown you in my heart 1802 00:48:03,030 --> 00:48:05,030 # Your love is king 1803 00:48:05,070 --> 00:48:05,870 # Your love is king 1804 00:48:05,910 --> 00:48:07,550 # Never need to part... # 1805 00:48:07,590 --> 00:48:09,030 It is sexy in there, isn't it? 1806 00:48:09,070 --> 00:48:11,070 That is a sexy, sexy room. 1807 00:48:11,110 --> 00:48:11,350 That is a sexy, sexy room. 1808 00:48:11,390 --> 00:48:13,390 That's a shag pad if I've ever seen one. 1809 00:48:13,430 --> 00:48:13,710 That's a shag pad if I've ever seen one. 1810 00:48:13,750 --> 00:48:15,750 Oh, I bet it smells like an Avon catalogue in there. 1811 00:48:15,790 --> 00:48:16,830 Oh, I bet it smells like an Avon catalogue in there. 1812 00:48:18,430 --> 00:48:20,070 What's this? 1813 00:48:20,110 --> 00:48:21,430 "Switch me off?" 1814 00:48:21,470 --> 00:48:23,110 There's the switch! 1815 00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:25,150 "Switch me off." Look. 1816 00:48:25,190 --> 00:48:25,430 "Switch me off." Look. 1817 00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:27,470 Are there any questions that you want to ask me 1818 00:48:27,510 --> 00:48:28,430 Are there any questions that you want to ask me 1819 00:48:28,470 --> 00:48:30,470 away from everyone? 1820 00:48:30,510 --> 00:48:30,710 away from everyone? 1821 00:48:30,750 --> 00:48:31,910 Come on. 1822 00:48:31,950 --> 00:48:33,950 This is when you can get the juicy information out. 1823 00:48:33,990 --> 00:48:34,230 This is when you can get the juicy information out. 1824 00:48:34,270 --> 00:48:35,230 Yeah. This is your chance. 1825 00:48:35,270 --> 00:48:37,270 I want to know everything about you. Aw! 1826 00:48:37,310 --> 00:48:37,670 I want to know everything about you. Aw! 1827 00:48:37,710 --> 00:48:39,710 That's a good answer, isn't it? Yeah. 1828 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,310 That's a good answer, isn't it? Yeah. 1829 00:48:41,350 --> 00:48:43,110 What's the matter? I don't know. 1830 00:48:43,150 --> 00:48:45,150 I don't know if I'm finding him cringey yet or if it's because... 1831 00:48:45,190 --> 00:48:45,470 I don't know if I'm finding him cringey yet or if it's because... 1832 00:48:45,510 --> 00:48:46,670 Of course they're cringey. 1833 00:48:46,710 --> 00:48:48,710 So I went to an all-girls Catholic school. 1834 00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:49,550 So I went to an all-girls Catholic school. 1835 00:48:49,590 --> 00:48:51,550 Right. 1836 00:48:51,590 --> 00:48:53,350 When Malachi was young, 1837 00:48:53,390 --> 00:48:55,390 I started retraining to become a solicitor. 1838 00:48:55,430 --> 00:48:56,510 I started retraining to become a solicitor. 1839 00:48:56,550 --> 00:48:58,550 But the law conversion took two years. 1840 00:48:58,590 --> 00:49:00,150 But the law conversion took two years. 1841 00:49:00,190 --> 00:49:02,190 Oh, no, Jenny. 1842 00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:02,470 Oh, no, Jenny. 1843 00:49:02,510 --> 00:49:04,510 Jenny, you're killing the vibe. Oh, Jesus. 1844 00:49:04,550 --> 00:49:06,430 You're killing the vibe. This is you! 1845 00:49:06,470 --> 00:49:08,270 Yeah, 1,000%. 1846 00:49:08,310 --> 00:49:10,310 And, um, worked for a financial adviser. 1847 00:49:10,350 --> 00:49:10,590 And, um, worked for a financial adviser. 1848 00:49:10,630 --> 00:49:12,630 He's fidgeting! He's like... 1849 00:49:12,670 --> 00:49:14,230 It's actually a CV. 1850 00:49:14,270 --> 00:49:15,630 Became a PA. 1851 00:49:15,670 --> 00:49:17,670 And then I worked in HR for the Manchester Airport. 1852 00:49:17,710 --> 00:49:18,310 And then I worked in HR for the Manchester Airport. 1853 00:49:18,350 --> 00:49:19,510 Oh, no. 1854 00:49:19,550 --> 00:49:20,670 He's wishing that switch 1855 00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:22,710 would fucking stop her talking now, isn't he? 1856 00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:22,990 would fucking stop her talking now, isn't he? 1857 00:49:23,030 --> 00:49:24,070 Oh. Bless her. 1858 00:49:24,110 --> 00:49:26,110 She probably hasn't done this in a long time, isn't it? Mm. 1859 00:49:26,150 --> 00:49:28,150 What about you? What...? 1860 00:49:28,190 --> 00:49:28,470 What about you? What...? 1861 00:49:28,510 --> 00:49:30,510 Where do you want me to start? What do you want me to do? 1862 00:49:30,550 --> 00:49:30,830 Where do you want me to start? What do you want me to do? 1863 00:49:30,870 --> 00:49:32,590 Do you want my career history, much like yourself? 1864 00:49:32,630 --> 00:49:34,630 No, no, I didn't either. But thanks for letting me have it. 1865 00:49:34,670 --> 00:49:35,350 No, no, I didn't either. But thanks for letting me have it. 1866 00:49:35,390 --> 00:49:37,390 Daddy's got... She finds everything funny, man. 1867 00:49:37,430 --> 00:49:38,390 Daddy's got... She finds everything funny, man. 1868 00:49:38,430 --> 00:49:39,790 You've got amazing lips. 1869 00:49:39,830 --> 00:49:41,190 Here we go! 1870 00:49:41,230 --> 00:49:43,230 Yeah, he's putting the groundwork in now. Yeah. 1871 00:49:43,270 --> 00:49:44,510 Yeah, he's putting the groundwork in now. Yeah. 1872 00:49:44,550 --> 00:49:46,550 I've been looking at your lips ever since we had that bowls match. 1873 00:49:46,590 --> 00:49:48,390 I've been looking at your lips ever since we had that bowls match. 1874 00:49:48,430 --> 00:49:50,430 You've got the most incredible lips. 1875 00:49:50,470 --> 00:49:50,910 You've got the most incredible lips. 1876 00:49:50,950 --> 00:49:52,950 Ohhhhh! Oh, my God! 1877 00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:53,590 Ohhhhh! Oh, my God! 1878 00:49:53,630 --> 00:49:55,070 He likes her lips, mind, doesn't he? 1879 00:49:55,110 --> 00:49:57,110 Kiss them, then. Yeah, go on. 1880 00:49:57,150 --> 00:49:57,590 Kiss them, then. Yeah, go on. 1881 00:49:57,630 --> 00:49:59,630 # Couldn't stand to be kept away... # 1882 00:49:59,670 --> 00:50:00,630 # Couldn't stand to be kept away... # 1883 00:50:00,670 --> 00:50:02,670 Here we go. Flick it, flick it, flick it. 1884 00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:03,150 Here we go. Flick it, flick it, flick it. 1885 00:50:03,190 --> 00:50:05,190 Cut the feed, cut the feed. Come on! 1886 00:50:05,230 --> 00:50:05,630 Cut the feed, cut the feed. Come on! 1887 00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,310 Yay! Ohhh! 1888 00:50:10,350 --> 00:50:12,070 We get it, though. 1889 00:50:12,110 --> 00:50:13,310 No! 1890 00:50:13,350 --> 00:50:15,350 Malachi's face. Look at Malachi's face. 1891 00:50:15,390 --> 00:50:15,630 Malachi's face. Look at Malachi's face. 1892 00:50:15,670 --> 00:50:17,670 Oh, yes. You got a new daddy! 1893 00:50:17,710 --> 00:50:17,870 Oh, yes. You got a new daddy! 1894 00:50:19,990 --> 00:50:21,990 Every morning, I've woken up really excited 1895 00:50:22,030 --> 00:50:24,030 to come downstairs and see everybody. 1896 00:50:24,070 --> 00:50:26,070 They're still talking. No way, man! 1897 00:50:26,110 --> 00:50:26,910 They're still talking. No way, man! 1898 00:50:26,950 --> 00:50:28,950 You flipped the switch. What are you doing? Shut up. Kiss! 1899 00:50:28,990 --> 00:50:29,790 You flipped the switch. What are you doing? Shut up. Kiss! 1900 00:50:29,830 --> 00:50:31,830 Now, I've been waking up every morning excited to find you. 1901 00:50:31,870 --> 00:50:33,870 Now, I've been waking up every morning excited to find you. 1902 00:50:33,910 --> 00:50:34,110 Now, I've been waking up every morning excited to find you. 1903 00:50:35,430 --> 00:50:37,430 Oh... I can't! Oh, that's so sweet. 1904 00:50:37,470 --> 00:50:38,190 Oh... I can't! Oh, that's so sweet. 1905 00:50:38,230 --> 00:50:40,230 He's just switched the camera off so that he can get all soppy. 1906 00:50:40,270 --> 00:50:41,190 He's just switched the camera off so that he can get all soppy. 1907 00:50:41,230 --> 00:50:42,230 Yeah. 1908 00:50:44,830 --> 00:50:46,830 What's that? What's that? That's a cute... That's a cute face. 1909 00:50:46,870 --> 00:50:47,870 What's that? What's that? That's a cute... That's a cute face. 1910 00:50:50,510 --> 00:50:52,150 Oh, she just went for it. 1911 00:50:52,190 --> 00:50:54,190 Yeah. Go on. Thank Jesus Christ. 1912 00:50:54,230 --> 00:50:54,790 Yeah. Go on. Thank Jesus Christ. 1913 00:50:54,830 --> 00:50:56,830 That was a quick peck. Yeah, it was a peck. That's enough. 1914 00:50:56,870 --> 00:50:58,070 That was a quick peck. Yeah, it was a peck. That's enough. 1915 00:50:58,110 --> 00:50:59,950 What else? Oh, I don't know. 1916 00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:01,990 Let's think of something to talk about quickly. 1917 00:51:02,030 --> 00:51:02,750 Let's think of something to talk about quickly. 1918 00:51:02,790 --> 00:51:04,790 Argh! 1919 00:51:04,830 --> 00:51:05,070 Argh! 1920 00:51:05,110 --> 00:51:07,110 Ohhhhh! Let's think of something to...bleurgh. 1921 00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:08,550 Ohhhhh! Let's think of something to...bleurgh. 1922 00:51:10,870 --> 00:51:12,870 Well, it's been a very, very good evening. 1923 00:51:12,910 --> 00:51:14,110 Well, it's been a very, very good evening. 1924 00:51:14,150 --> 00:51:16,150 Thank you very much for inviting me to the snug. 1925 00:51:16,190 --> 00:51:17,070 Thank you very much for inviting me to the snug. 1926 00:51:17,110 --> 00:51:18,670 Oh! Is that it? 1927 00:51:18,710 --> 00:51:20,710 Cos the kids are going to be imagining a lot worse 1928 00:51:20,750 --> 00:51:21,030 Cos the kids are going to be imagining a lot worse 1929 00:51:21,070 --> 00:51:23,070 than what actually happened as well. They are. They are. 1930 00:51:23,110 --> 00:51:23,350 than what actually happened as well. They are. They are. 1931 00:51:23,390 --> 00:51:25,390 Accidentally switch it back on. 1932 00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:26,430 Accidentally switch it back on. 1933 00:51:26,470 --> 00:51:28,470 It gets knocked back on! He's on all fours. 1934 00:51:28,510 --> 00:51:29,790 It gets knocked back on! He's on all fours. 1935 00:51:32,830 --> 00:51:34,750 He's on all fours. 1936 00:51:34,790 --> 00:51:36,790 It gets knocked back on and he's like... 1937 00:51:36,830 --> 00:51:37,030 It gets knocked back on and he's like... 1938 00:51:40,590 --> 00:51:42,590 "Have they left us any choice?" 1939 00:51:42,630 --> 00:51:43,670 "Have they left us any choice?" 1940 01:43:42,380 --> 01:43:44,220 In North London... 1941 01:43:44,260 --> 01:43:46,100 I feel like I've been away for a whole week 1942 01:43:46,140 --> 01:43:48,140 and so many, so much around the house has changed. 1943 01:43:48,180 --> 01:43:49,380 and so many, so much around the house has changed. 1944 01:43:49,420 --> 01:43:51,260 Dad's gone and messed up the whole bathroom. 1945 01:43:51,300 --> 01:43:52,500 Yeah, a lot has happened. 1946 01:43:52,540 --> 01:43:54,540 ..sisters Amira and Amani. 1947 01:43:54,580 --> 01:43:55,340 ..sisters Amira and Amani. 1948 01:43:55,380 --> 01:43:57,380 One thing about me is when I move out of my house, 1949 01:43:57,420 --> 01:43:57,820 One thing about me is when I move out of my house, 1950 01:43:57,860 --> 01:43:59,820 everything's getting done by a professional. 1951 01:43:59,860 --> 01:44:01,580 I ain't calling Dad for nothing. 1952 01:44:01,620 --> 01:44:03,620 No DIY. No DIY! 1953 01:44:03,660 --> 01:44:03,900 No DIY. No DIY! 1954 01:44:03,940 --> 01:44:05,220 When I said to him like, "Oh, yeah, I'm in... 1955 01:44:05,260 --> 01:44:07,260 "You know, I'm still looking for houses and stuff." 1956 01:44:07,300 --> 01:44:07,580 "You know, I'm still looking for houses and stuff." 1957 01:44:07,620 --> 01:44:09,620 And then he was like, "Oh, yeah, when you move out, 1958 01:44:09,660 --> 01:44:09,940 And then he was like, "Oh, yeah, when you move out, 1959 01:44:09,980 --> 01:44:11,820 "yeah, I'll come and fix up the place for you, 1960 01:44:11,860 --> 01:44:13,860 "whatever you need, anything need installing. 1961 01:44:13,900 --> 01:44:14,140 "whatever you need, anything need installing. 1962 01:44:14,180 --> 01:44:15,260 "I'll be there, don't worry." 1963 01:44:15,300 --> 01:44:17,180 And I said, "Dad..." "I'm all right." 1964 01:44:17,220 --> 01:44:19,220 "I'm OK, thank you. Put those tools to rest, please." 1965 01:44:19,260 --> 01:44:20,300 "I'm OK, thank you. Put those tools to rest, please." 1966 01:44:20,340 --> 01:44:22,340 "RIP to your repair skills." 1967 01:44:22,380 --> 01:44:23,980 "RIP to your repair skills." 1968 01:44:24,020 --> 01:44:26,020 He used to be better before. He's just too old now. 1969 01:44:26,060 --> 01:44:26,820 He used to be better before. He's just too old now. 1970 01:44:26,860 --> 01:44:28,540 Yeah, 100%. 1971 01:44:28,580 --> 01:44:30,580 In May, we partied along to another edition 1972 01:44:30,620 --> 01:44:31,740 In May, we partied along to another edition 1973 01:44:31,780 --> 01:44:33,780 of Europe's annual singing competition. 1974 01:44:33,820 --> 01:44:34,900 of Europe's annual singing competition. 1975 01:44:34,940 --> 01:44:36,940 Are you ready for the Eurovision Song Contest, Simon? 1976 01:44:36,980 --> 01:44:37,260 Are you ready for the Eurovision Song Contest, Simon? 1977 01:44:37,300 --> 01:44:39,300 Oh, Jane, every year, I wait for it and hope it passes. 1978 01:44:39,340 --> 01:44:40,460 Oh, Jane, every year, I wait for it and hope it passes. 1979 01:44:40,500 --> 01:44:42,500 It's the Eurovision final. I need a drink. 1980 01:44:42,540 --> 01:44:43,340 It's the Eurovision final. I need a drink. 1981 01:44:47,420 --> 01:44:49,420 I thought you were dressed as a European man. 1982 01:44:49,460 --> 01:44:51,300 I thought you were dressed as a European man. 1983 01:44:51,340 --> 01:44:52,740 You look quite German. Why? 1984 01:44:52,780 --> 01:44:54,580 German? Why? 1985 01:44:54,620 --> 01:44:56,540 In the show, we were treated to 1986 01:44:56,580 --> 01:44:58,580 a special performance from Finland. 1987 01:44:58,620 --> 01:44:58,940 a special performance from Finland. 1988 01:44:58,980 --> 01:45:00,980 {\an8}GRAHAM NORTON: You've seen quite a lot of male nudity already tonight. 1989 01:45:01,020 --> 01:45:01,260 {\an8}GRAHAM NORTON: You've seen quite a lot of male nudity already tonight. 1990 01:45:01,300 --> 01:45:03,100 {\an8}Well, stand by for some more. 1991 01:45:03,140 --> 01:45:05,060 BOTH: Windows 95 Man. 1992 01:45:05,100 --> 01:45:07,100 My kind of man! 1993 01:45:07,140 --> 01:45:07,340 My kind of man! 1994 01:45:07,380 --> 01:45:08,260 # Welcome 1995 01:45:08,300 --> 01:45:10,300 # My name is Vindows Vindows 95 Man 1996 01:45:10,340 --> 01:45:12,020 # My name is Vindows Vindows 95 Man 1997 01:45:12,060 --> 01:45:14,060 Oh, my goodness. Is that an egg, Mary? 1998 01:45:14,100 --> 01:45:14,460 Oh, my goodness. Is that an egg, Mary? 1999 01:45:14,500 --> 01:45:15,460 # And the rule is... 2000 01:45:17,900 --> 01:45:19,180 # No rules!... # 2001 01:45:19,220 --> 01:45:20,660 No rules. 2002 01:45:21,740 --> 01:45:23,740 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 2003 01:45:23,780 --> 01:45:23,980 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 2004 01:45:24,020 --> 01:45:25,100 # No rules!... # 2005 01:45:26,260 --> 01:45:27,420 What the hell? 2006 01:45:27,460 --> 01:45:29,460 He's coming out of an egg, Jane! Looks like it. 2007 01:45:29,500 --> 01:45:29,700 He's coming out of an egg, Jane! Looks like it. 2008 01:45:31,180 --> 01:45:32,660 # Silence! I say... # 2009 01:45:32,700 --> 01:45:34,260 Has he got no trousers...? 2010 01:45:34,300 --> 01:45:35,860 He's got no trousers on. 2011 01:45:35,900 --> 01:45:37,540 Has he got any pants on? 2012 01:45:37,580 --> 01:45:39,020 # Watch me... # 2013 01:45:39,060 --> 01:45:41,060 I don't think he has! 2014 01:45:41,100 --> 01:45:41,340 I don't think he has! 2015 01:45:41,380 --> 01:45:43,380 Where the f... is his troosers? 2016 01:45:43,420 --> 01:45:43,660 Where the f... is his troosers? 2017 01:45:43,700 --> 01:45:45,700 # Is there something wrong with the way I look? 2018 01:45:45,740 --> 01:45:46,380 # Is there something wrong with the way I look? 2019 01:45:46,420 --> 01:45:48,020 # Is there something wrong... # 2020 01:45:48,060 --> 01:45:50,060 Hey. Hello. I like it. 2021 01:45:50,100 --> 01:45:51,100 Hey. Hello. I like it. 2022 01:45:51,140 --> 01:45:52,580 # Tell me why do I 2023 01:45:52,620 --> 01:45:54,620 # Look so beautiful tonight? 2024 01:45:54,660 --> 01:45:54,940 # Look so beautiful tonight? 2025 01:45:54,980 --> 01:45:56,140 # No rules!... # 2026 01:45:56,180 --> 01:45:57,500 Oh! 2027 01:45:57,540 --> 01:45:59,540 No rules! No rules. Brilliant! No rules. 2028 01:45:59,580 --> 01:46:00,620 No rules! No rules. Brilliant! No rules. 2029 01:46:00,660 --> 01:46:01,660 Welcome to Finland. 2030 01:46:01,700 --> 01:46:03,060 Did he say no balls? 2031 01:46:03,100 --> 01:46:04,700 No balls! Ha-ha-ha! 2032 01:46:04,740 --> 01:46:05,820 I thought he said no balls. 2033 01:46:05,860 --> 01:46:07,220 No balls. Fuck me! 2034 01:46:07,260 --> 01:46:08,940 No, you haven't neither. 2035 01:46:08,980 --> 01:46:10,260 # No rules... #No rules! 2036 01:46:10,300 --> 01:46:11,860 # It's how I live 2037 01:46:11,900 --> 01:46:13,660 # How I find the wind beneath... # 2038 01:46:13,700 --> 01:46:15,700 Look at his arse. He's got his bare arse out. 2039 01:46:15,740 --> 01:46:16,940 Look at his arse. He's got his bare arse out. 2040 01:46:16,980 --> 01:46:18,980 Oh, you stupid little man. What's he doing, Mary? 2041 01:46:19,020 --> 01:46:19,820 Oh, you stupid little man. What's he doing, Mary? 2042 01:46:19,860 --> 01:46:21,620 Trying to shock the audience. 2043 01:46:22,740 --> 01:46:24,740 # Let's go! No rules! # 2044 01:46:24,780 --> 01:46:25,100 # Let's go! No rules! # 2045 01:46:27,100 --> 01:46:29,100 The things they do with smoke machines these days. 2046 01:46:29,140 --> 01:46:29,380 The things they do with smoke machines these days. 2047 01:46:29,420 --> 01:46:31,420 I hope that's not dry ice. 2048 01:46:31,460 --> 01:46:31,700 I hope that's not dry ice. 2049 01:46:31,740 --> 01:46:33,740 # The other night With the thrill of the fight... # 2050 01:46:33,780 --> 01:46:34,380 # The other night With the thrill of the fight... # 2051 01:46:35,940 --> 01:46:37,940 The cameraman's hiding him. 2052 01:46:37,980 --> 01:46:38,580 The cameraman's hiding him. 2053 01:46:38,620 --> 01:46:40,500 That's a paid professional. Exactly. 2054 01:46:40,540 --> 01:46:42,540 Having to cover a man's cock with his camera! 2055 01:46:42,580 --> 01:46:42,820 Having to cover a man's cock with his camera! 2056 01:46:42,860 --> 01:46:44,180 They'd have to have a bigger camera 2057 01:46:44,220 --> 01:46:46,220 if it were me there with nowt on. GoPro. 2058 01:46:46,260 --> 01:46:46,540 if it were me there with nowt on. GoPro. 2059 01:46:47,620 --> 01:46:49,620 You cheeky bastard! 2060 01:46:49,660 --> 01:46:50,060 You cheeky bastard! 2061 01:46:51,700 --> 01:46:53,700 # It's all I live for now... # 2062 01:46:53,740 --> 01:46:54,260 # It's all I live for now... # 2063 01:46:54,300 --> 01:46:55,300 Oh, and somebody's hat. 2064 01:46:55,340 --> 01:46:57,340 Is this a...? It's a family show. 2065 01:46:57,380 --> 01:46:57,860 Is this a...? It's a family show. 2066 01:46:57,900 --> 01:46:59,900 No, it's when you've got no talent, you just try to shock instead. 2067 01:46:59,940 --> 01:47:01,940 No, it's when you've got no talent, you just try to shock instead. 2068 01:47:01,980 --> 01:47:02,260 No, it's when you've got no talent, you just try to shock instead. 2069 01:47:03,460 --> 01:47:05,220 # If I'm not all right, 2070 01:47:05,260 --> 01:47:07,260 # Tell me why do I look so beautiful tonight? 2071 01:47:07,300 --> 01:47:09,060 # Tell me why do I look so beautiful tonight? 2072 01:47:09,100 --> 01:47:10,500 # No rules! # 2073 01:47:15,420 --> 01:47:17,020 # No rules! # 2074 01:47:17,060 --> 01:47:18,620 His pants have turned up! 2075 01:47:18,660 --> 01:47:19,900 Oh, finally. 2076 01:47:19,940 --> 01:47:21,940 Thank God, get the shorts on him, please. 2077 01:47:21,980 --> 01:47:22,180 Thank God, get the shorts on him, please. 2078 01:47:24,300 --> 01:47:26,060 # No rules!... # 2079 01:47:28,740 --> 01:47:30,740 What the fuck? Piro pants. 2080 01:47:30,780 --> 01:47:31,260 What the fuck? Piro pants. 2081 01:47:31,300 --> 01:47:32,740 No wonder he's had to put his pants on for this. 2082 01:47:32,780 --> 01:47:34,780 He wouldn't want sparks on his meat and two veg. 2083 01:47:34,820 --> 01:47:35,060 He wouldn't want sparks on his meat and two veg. 2084 01:47:36,460 --> 01:47:38,460 # The wind beneath my wings... # 2085 01:47:38,500 --> 01:47:38,980 # The wind beneath my wings... # 2086 01:47:39,020 --> 01:47:40,220 Whoa! He goes crazy. 2087 01:47:40,260 --> 01:47:41,540 Let's go! Woo! 2088 01:47:41,580 --> 01:47:43,580 You've got to admit, it's quite funny. 2089 01:47:43,620 --> 01:47:44,260 You've got to admit, it's quite funny. 2090 01:47:44,300 --> 01:47:46,300 This guy's my hero! 2091 01:47:46,340 --> 01:47:47,180 This guy's my hero! 2092 01:47:47,220 --> 01:47:49,220 He is the sort of guy you want to go out with, though, isn't he? 2093 01:47:49,260 --> 01:47:49,580 He is the sort of guy you want to go out with, though, isn't he? 2094 01:47:49,620 --> 01:47:51,620 #..the thrill of the fight... # 2095 01:47:51,660 --> 01:47:53,660 #..the thrill of the fight... # 2096 01:47:53,700 --> 01:47:53,940 #..the thrill of the fight... # 2097 01:47:53,980 --> 01:47:55,980 Why are you vibing? This is mint! 2098 01:47:56,020 --> 01:47:56,220 Why are you vibing? This is mint! 2099 01:48:03,780 --> 01:48:05,260 # No rules! # 2100 01:48:06,460 --> 01:48:08,460 No wonder we don't do very well at it. We're too normal. 2101 01:48:08,500 --> 01:48:09,380 No wonder we don't do very well at it. We're too normal. 2102 01:48:09,420 --> 01:48:11,100 I know! We are too normal. 2103 01:48:11,140 --> 01:48:13,140 We are too normal. 2104 01:48:13,180 --> 01:48:13,460 We are too normal. 2105 01:48:13,500 --> 01:48:15,500 Windows 95 Man?! 2106 01:48:15,540 --> 01:48:15,780 Windows 95 Man?! 2107 01:48:15,820 --> 01:48:17,420 I always thought it was more about the music, 2108 01:48:17,460 --> 01:48:19,460 but now I'm starting to realise it's a lot about your stage show. 2109 01:48:19,500 --> 01:48:20,620 but now I'm starting to realise it's a lot about your stage show. 2110 01:48:20,660 --> 01:48:22,660 The whole... The whole "package". Yeah. 2111 01:48:22,700 --> 01:48:23,300 The whole... The whole "package". Yeah. 2112 01:48:26,420 --> 01:48:28,340 Oh, my days! 2113 01:48:29,660 --> 01:48:31,140 In Solihull... 2114 01:48:31,180 --> 01:48:33,180 The only downside of going up to Cumbria 2115 01:48:33,220 --> 01:48:33,500 The only downside of going up to Cumbria 2116 01:48:33,540 --> 01:48:35,540 on that west coast, it's such a long drive. 2117 01:48:35,580 --> 01:48:36,260 on that west coast, it's such a long drive. 2118 01:48:36,300 --> 01:48:38,300 Kills us, doesn't it? 4.5 hours. 2119 01:48:38,340 --> 01:48:38,860 Kills us, doesn't it? 4.5 hours. 2120 01:48:38,900 --> 01:48:40,780 Yeah. It is a long way. 2121 01:48:40,820 --> 01:48:42,820 ..Teresa and her wife, Anita. 2122 01:48:42,860 --> 01:48:43,460 ..Teresa and her wife, Anita. 2123 01:48:43,500 --> 01:48:45,500 It's all right when you're younger, you don't mind driving. No. 2124 01:48:45,540 --> 01:48:46,180 It's all right when you're younger, you don't mind driving. No. 2125 01:48:46,220 --> 01:48:47,700 You just get over it so quick. 2126 01:48:47,740 --> 01:48:49,300 Whereas now, we're getting a bit old. 2127 01:48:49,340 --> 01:48:51,340 But it's nice stopping at Tebay. 2128 01:48:51,380 --> 01:48:51,660 But it's nice stopping at Tebay. 2129 01:48:51,700 --> 01:48:53,700 Oh, that services is lovely, isn't it? Yes, very nice. 2130 01:48:53,740 --> 01:48:54,460 Oh, that services is lovely, isn't it? Yes, very nice. 2131 01:48:54,500 --> 01:48:56,500 The little picnic area on the way up. 2132 01:48:56,540 --> 01:48:56,940 The little picnic area on the way up. 2133 01:48:56,980 --> 01:48:58,540 Mm. 2134 01:48:58,580 --> 01:49:00,380 It's just something to look forward to, isn't it? 2135 01:49:00,420 --> 01:49:02,420 It is. What, Tebay? Yeah, I think so. 2136 01:49:02,460 --> 01:49:04,220 It is. What, Tebay? Yeah, I think so. 2137 01:49:04,260 --> 01:49:06,260 How sad are we that we look forward to going to the bloody 2138 01:49:06,300 --> 01:49:06,540 How sad are we that we look forward to going to the bloody 2139 01:49:06,580 --> 01:49:08,100 service station? 2140 01:49:08,140 --> 01:49:10,140 It's a sign we're getting older! 2141 01:49:10,180 --> 01:49:10,900 It's a sign we're getting older! 2142 01:49:10,940 --> 01:49:12,940 In spring, there was some bobbing about on boats on Channel 4. 2143 01:49:12,980 --> 01:49:14,980 In spring, there was some bobbing about on boats on Channel 4. 2144 01:49:15,020 --> 01:49:15,300 In spring, there was some bobbing about on boats on Channel 4. 2145 01:49:15,340 --> 01:49:17,340 I'm just scared of anything near by water, 2146 01:49:17,380 --> 01:49:17,900 I'm just scared of anything near by water, 2147 01:49:17,940 --> 01:49:19,820 living in water, or by water. 2148 01:49:19,860 --> 01:49:21,860 I like the thought of it, I do. Do you? Do you? Yeah. 2149 01:49:21,900 --> 01:49:22,180 I like the thought of it, I do. Do you? Do you? Yeah. 2150 01:49:22,220 --> 01:49:23,340 I bet you didn't know this 2151 01:49:23,380 --> 01:49:25,100 but narrow boats actually have a flat bottom - 2152 01:49:25,140 --> 01:49:26,660 very much like myself. 2153 01:49:28,100 --> 01:49:30,100 {\an8}The Great British canal network. 2154 01:49:30,140 --> 01:49:30,420 {\an8}The Great British canal network. 2155 01:49:30,460 --> 01:49:32,060 Hey, how are you? All right? 2156 01:49:32,100 --> 01:49:33,700 This is a bit of me, this. 2157 01:49:33,740 --> 01:49:35,740 You used to love Rosie and Jim when you were younger. 2158 01:49:35,780 --> 01:49:36,820 You used to love Rosie and Jim when you were younger. 2159 01:49:36,860 --> 01:49:38,420 I think that's where it stems from. 2160 01:49:38,460 --> 01:49:40,460 Will these intrepid Brits stay afloat... 2161 01:49:40,500 --> 01:49:41,100 Will these intrepid Brits stay afloat... 2162 01:49:41,140 --> 01:49:42,460 Welcome to boating. 2163 01:49:42,500 --> 01:49:44,500 ..or will they be cast adrift? 2164 01:49:44,540 --> 01:49:44,740 ..or will they be cast adrift? 2165 01:49:44,780 --> 01:49:46,060 I've got no paddles. 2166 01:49:46,100 --> 01:49:47,340 I don't know about this. 2167 01:49:47,380 --> 01:49:48,340 Yeah. 2168 01:49:52,380 --> 01:49:54,380 I would like to have a narrow boat and also live in a house. 2169 01:49:54,420 --> 01:49:56,060 I would like to have a narrow boat and also live in a house. 2170 01:49:56,100 --> 01:49:58,100 What, and just frequent the narrow boat every now and then? Yeah. Yeah. 2171 01:49:58,140 --> 01:49:59,460 What, and just frequent the narrow boat every now and then? Yeah. Yeah. 2172 01:49:59,500 --> 01:50:01,300 Yeah. Nah, you don't want to be that person, Dad. 2173 01:50:01,340 --> 01:50:03,340 Remember, like, Ken Barlow when he was having an affair 2174 01:50:03,380 --> 01:50:04,060 Remember, like, Ken Barlow when he was having an affair 2175 01:50:04,100 --> 01:50:06,020 with that lady on a narrow boat? Yeah. 2176 01:50:06,060 --> 01:50:07,820 You've got a reputation to uphold. You don't want to be that... 2177 01:50:07,860 --> 01:50:09,860 What's wrong with that? What? Your point is? 2178 01:50:09,900 --> 01:50:10,140 What's wrong with that? What? Your point is? 2179 01:50:10,180 --> 01:50:11,020 I'm going to tell Mum. 2180 01:50:11,060 --> 01:50:13,060 36-year-old bicycle repairman, Sam Skinner, who's was currently 2181 01:50:13,100 --> 01:50:14,940 36-year-old bicycle repairman, Sam Skinner, who's was currently 2182 01:50:14,980 --> 01:50:16,980 moored in Hertfordshire, north of London. 2183 01:50:17,020 --> 01:50:17,300 moored in Hertfordshire, north of London. 2184 01:50:17,340 --> 01:50:19,340 He's giving me living-on-a-boat vibe. Oh, yeah. 2185 01:50:19,380 --> 01:50:19,620 He's giving me living-on-a-boat vibe. Oh, yeah. 2186 01:50:19,660 --> 01:50:20,460 He's got a crop top on. 2187 01:50:20,500 --> 01:50:22,500 He repairs, restores and sells bikes to fellow boaters 2188 01:50:22,540 --> 01:50:23,940 He repairs, restores and sells bikes to fellow boaters 2189 01:50:23,980 --> 01:50:25,420 who find him on the towpath. 2190 01:50:25,460 --> 01:50:27,460 Oh, what a nice lifestyle that is. 2191 01:50:27,500 --> 01:50:27,740 Oh, what a nice lifestyle that is. 2192 01:50:27,780 --> 01:50:29,780 Oh, wow, OK. Maybe it's less stressful. 2193 01:50:29,820 --> 01:50:30,540 Oh, wow, OK. Maybe it's less stressful. 2194 01:50:30,580 --> 01:50:31,780 I just like swimming. 2195 01:50:31,820 --> 01:50:33,820 It's good for, you know, for your body. 2196 01:50:33,860 --> 01:50:34,540 It's good for, you know, for your body. 2197 01:50:34,580 --> 01:50:35,820 Not in a canal, you don't. 2198 01:50:35,860 --> 01:50:37,180 I hope he's had his jabs. 2199 01:50:37,220 --> 01:50:39,220 Sam isn't one to stand on ceremony and commits to the full monty. 2200 01:50:39,260 --> 01:50:41,220 Sam isn't one to stand on ceremony and commits to the full monty. 2201 01:50:41,260 --> 01:50:42,380 Oh. Ah. 2202 01:50:42,420 --> 01:50:44,420 He's just going to jump in there stark bollock naked? 2203 01:50:44,460 --> 01:50:44,700 He's just going to jump in there stark bollock naked? 2204 01:50:44,740 --> 01:50:45,460 Yeah. 2205 01:50:47,940 --> 01:50:49,140 Wait, he's got no pants on. 2206 01:50:49,180 --> 01:50:50,380 Move the bike. 2207 01:50:50,420 --> 01:50:52,420 I'm glad that nut in the middle of the wheel's just that size. 2208 01:50:52,460 --> 01:50:54,100 I'm glad that nut in the middle of the wheel's just that size. 2209 01:50:54,140 --> 01:50:56,140 If the sun's out and it's warm enough, 2210 01:50:56,180 --> 01:50:56,460 If the sun's out and it's warm enough, 2211 01:50:56,500 --> 01:50:58,500 then there's no reason to wear clothes. 2212 01:50:58,540 --> 01:50:58,940 then there's no reason to wear clothes. 2213 01:50:58,980 --> 01:51:00,980 He's a nudist, isn't he, at heart? He's a nudist. 2214 01:51:01,020 --> 01:51:01,580 He's a nudist, isn't he, at heart? He's a nudist. 2215 01:51:01,620 --> 01:51:03,620 He ain't shy, old Sam, is he? He's not shy. 2216 01:51:03,660 --> 01:51:04,420 He ain't shy, old Sam, is he? He's not shy. 2217 01:51:04,460 --> 01:51:06,460 If you swim naked, then it's better in multiple ways. 2218 01:51:06,500 --> 01:51:08,420 If you swim naked, then it's better in multiple ways. 2219 01:51:08,460 --> 01:51:09,820 He's having a lovely time, in't he? 2220 01:51:09,860 --> 01:51:11,860 It's all fun and games until the school trip's 2221 01:51:11,900 --> 01:51:12,300 It's all fun and games until the school trip's 2222 01:51:12,340 --> 01:51:14,060 taking a walk down by the canal. 2223 01:51:14,100 --> 01:51:16,100 It's not advised to swim in the river, but thankfully, 2224 01:51:16,140 --> 01:51:17,140 It's not advised to swim in the river, but thankfully, 2225 01:51:17,180 --> 01:51:19,060 Sam has a hot shower planned. 2226 01:51:19,100 --> 01:51:21,100 Otherwise known as a bucket over the head. 2227 01:51:21,140 --> 01:51:21,420 Otherwise known as a bucket over the head. 2228 01:51:21,460 --> 01:51:23,100 A bucket over the head, that's it? 2229 01:51:25,660 --> 01:51:27,660 Oh, here we go. 2230 01:51:27,700 --> 01:51:28,940 That's the first bit. 2231 01:51:28,980 --> 01:51:30,300 Oh, God. 2232 01:51:30,340 --> 01:51:32,340 He's not going to wash his bellend in front of t'crew, is he? 2233 01:51:32,380 --> 01:51:32,980 He's not going to wash his bellend in front of t'crew, is he? 2234 01:51:35,780 --> 01:51:37,780 He doesn't care. He's just living his best life. 2235 01:51:37,820 --> 01:51:38,580 He doesn't care. He's just living his best life. 2236 01:51:38,620 --> 01:51:40,620 He lives that free life. I love that for you, Sam. 2237 01:51:40,660 --> 01:51:40,940 He lives that free life. I love that for you, Sam. 2238 01:51:40,980 --> 01:51:42,700 There's a time and a place, Lee, in't they? 2239 01:51:42,740 --> 01:51:43,780 He's only having a shower. 2240 01:51:43,820 --> 01:51:45,820 I wouldn't mind having a boat next to his. 2241 01:51:45,860 --> 01:51:46,500 I wouldn't mind having a boat next to his. 2242 01:51:46,540 --> 01:51:48,540 Sam's taking a break from bike work to make one 2243 01:51:48,580 --> 01:51:49,340 Sam's taking a break from bike work to make one 2244 01:51:49,380 --> 01:51:50,700 of his favourite dinners. 2245 01:51:50,740 --> 01:51:52,740 My classic meal on the boat is just a stew. 2246 01:51:52,780 --> 01:51:53,420 My classic meal on the boat is just a stew. 2247 01:51:53,460 --> 01:51:55,260 Oh, I like stew. Yeah, we like stew. 2248 01:51:55,300 --> 01:51:56,980 I like pork stews, basically. 2249 01:51:57,020 --> 01:51:59,020 So I put leek, pork, potatoes, onions. 2250 01:51:59,060 --> 01:52:00,060 So I put leek, pork, potatoes, onions. 2251 01:52:00,100 --> 01:52:02,100 Sounds all right. Sounds delish. 2252 01:52:02,140 --> 01:52:02,380 Sounds all right. Sounds delish. 2253 01:52:02,420 --> 01:52:04,420 I do it without chopping anything. Oh, OK. 2254 01:52:04,460 --> 01:52:05,100 I do it without chopping anything. Oh, OK. 2255 01:52:05,140 --> 01:52:06,860 He's not peeling or chopping anything? 2256 01:52:06,900 --> 01:52:08,500 So I literally just go... 2257 01:52:10,060 --> 01:52:11,020 Uh? 2258 01:52:12,260 --> 01:52:13,860 No. 2259 01:52:13,900 --> 01:52:15,900 I can't be bothered to chop stuff up, so I just bite it. 2260 01:52:15,940 --> 01:52:16,460 I can't be bothered to chop stuff up, so I just bite it. 2261 01:52:21,020 --> 01:52:22,540 He's quite funny, isn't he? 2262 01:52:22,580 --> 01:52:24,540 Do you lot on the camera want some of this? 2263 01:52:24,580 --> 01:52:26,580 Cos I can bite enough for three of us. 2264 01:52:26,620 --> 01:52:26,820 Cos I can bite enough for three of us. 2265 01:52:28,020 --> 01:52:30,020 Some people think you need a knife for an onion. 2266 01:52:30,060 --> 01:52:30,340 Some people think you need a knife for an onion. 2267 01:52:30,380 --> 01:52:31,660 Oh, no, he's not doing onion n'all. 2268 01:52:31,700 --> 01:52:33,340 But you don't. ONION CRUNCHES 2269 01:52:33,380 --> 01:52:35,220 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 2270 01:52:35,260 --> 01:52:36,460 Oh, not onions. Oh, no. 2271 01:52:36,500 --> 01:52:37,660 Oh, no. 2272 01:52:37,700 --> 01:52:39,700 Oh, no, I didn't think about the big veg. 2273 01:52:39,740 --> 01:52:40,340 Oh, no, I didn't think about the big veg. 2274 01:52:42,340 --> 01:52:43,340 No. 2275 01:52:43,380 --> 01:52:44,700 What the fuck? 2276 01:52:44,740 --> 01:52:46,620 He's just chomping on a leek. 2277 01:52:46,660 --> 01:52:48,660 Now time to heat up the sausages, too. 2278 01:52:48,700 --> 01:52:48,980 Now time to heat up the sausages, too. 2279 01:52:49,020 --> 01:52:51,020 What's he going to do with them? I dread to think. 2280 01:52:51,060 --> 01:52:51,300 What's he going to do with them? I dread to think. 2281 01:52:51,340 --> 01:52:52,660 Put the sausages in. 2282 01:52:55,860 --> 01:52:57,340 It does look good. 2283 01:52:57,380 --> 01:52:59,380 Surely he should have cut up his sausages or bit 2284 01:52:59,420 --> 01:52:59,700 Surely he should have cut up his sausages or bit 2285 01:52:59,740 --> 01:53:01,700 up his sausages. Oh, shut up, Shaun. 2286 01:53:01,740 --> 01:53:03,740 Sam certainly has his own cooking style. 2287 01:53:03,780 --> 01:53:04,020 Sam certainly has his own cooking style. 2288 01:53:04,060 --> 01:53:05,100 You can say that again. 2289 01:53:05,140 --> 01:53:07,060 I bet he's got a really good immune system. 2290 01:53:07,100 --> 01:53:09,100 Now it's time for the tasting. 2291 01:53:09,140 --> 01:53:09,300 Now it's time for the tasting. 2292 01:53:10,980 --> 01:53:12,180 Mm. Yeah, it's wicked. 2293 01:53:12,220 --> 01:53:13,580 Oh, you couldn't live like that. 2294 01:53:13,620 --> 01:53:15,620 I wouldn't lick the butter and then put it on your toast. 2295 01:53:15,660 --> 01:53:16,220 I wouldn't lick the butter and then put it on your toast. 2296 01:53:16,260 --> 01:53:17,420 No... 2297 01:53:17,460 --> 01:53:19,460 Oh, I bet he does, cos he hasn't got any cutlery. 2298 01:53:19,500 --> 01:53:19,980 Oh, I bet he does, cos he hasn't got any cutlery. 2299 01:53:20,020 --> 01:53:22,020 Dip it in. What do you want on your toast? 2300 01:53:22,060 --> 01:53:22,300 Dip it in. What do you want on your toast? 2301 01:53:22,340 --> 01:53:23,100 Butter. 2302 01:53:25,220 --> 01:53:26,660 Oh, my God. 2303 01:53:28,940 --> 01:53:30,100 In Derby... 2304 01:53:30,140 --> 01:53:32,140 Raz, you're looking a bit tired. Are you all right? 2305 01:53:32,180 --> 01:53:32,540 Raz, you're looking a bit tired. Are you all right? 2306 01:53:32,580 --> 01:53:34,580 I've been training a bit more than I normally do. 2307 01:53:34,620 --> 01:53:35,620 I've been training a bit more than I normally do. 2308 01:53:35,660 --> 01:53:37,660 I've got my black belt grading coming up in a few days. 2309 01:53:37,700 --> 01:53:38,580 I've got my black belt grading coming up in a few days. 2310 01:53:38,620 --> 01:53:40,620 Oh, wow. This is third dan. 2311 01:53:40,660 --> 01:53:40,860 Oh, wow. This is third dan. 2312 01:53:40,900 --> 01:53:42,180 ..the Siddiquis. 2313 01:53:42,220 --> 01:53:44,220 Raza, you are the strongest Siddiqui now, aren't you? Yeah. 2314 01:53:44,260 --> 01:53:45,140 Raza, you are the strongest Siddiqui now, aren't you? Yeah. 2315 01:53:45,180 --> 01:53:47,180 I don't really like talking about that kind of stuff. 2316 01:53:47,220 --> 01:53:47,820 I don't really like talking about that kind of stuff. 2317 01:53:47,860 --> 01:53:49,420 But you are the strongest Siddiqui, aren't you? 2318 01:53:49,460 --> 01:53:51,460 I don't know if I'm the strongest, but I could...do some damage. 2319 01:53:51,500 --> 01:53:53,500 I don't know if I'm the strongest, but I could...do some damage. 2320 01:53:53,540 --> 01:53:54,900 I don't know if I'm the strongest, but I could...do some damage. 2321 01:53:54,940 --> 01:53:56,940 Never be ashamed of being the most "est" Siddiqui. 2322 01:53:56,980 --> 01:53:57,780 Never be ashamed of being the most "est" Siddiqui. 2323 01:53:57,820 --> 01:53:59,820 Definitely not. Like, I'm the funniest Siddiqui. 2324 01:53:59,860 --> 01:54:01,020 Definitely not. Like, I'm the funniest Siddiqui. 2325 01:54:01,060 --> 01:54:03,060 You're the strongest, Siddiqui. 2326 01:54:03,100 --> 01:54:03,300 You're the strongest, Siddiqui. 2327 01:54:03,340 --> 01:54:04,700 Dad's the... Prettiest. 2328 01:54:04,740 --> 01:54:06,740 ..prettiest Siddiqui, yeah. 2329 01:54:06,780 --> 01:54:07,020 ..prettiest Siddiqui, yeah. 2330 01:54:07,060 --> 01:54:09,060 In October, loaded Aussies were splashing the cash on E4. 2331 01:54:09,100 --> 01:54:11,100 In October, loaded Aussies were splashing the cash on E4. 2332 01:54:11,140 --> 01:54:11,700 In October, loaded Aussies were splashing the cash on E4. 2333 01:54:11,740 --> 01:54:13,740 I'm loving this. I'm loving all the drama. 2334 01:54:13,780 --> 01:54:14,380 I'm loving this. I'm loving all the drama. 2335 01:54:14,420 --> 01:54:16,420 It's just the Australian version of Made In Chelsea. 2336 01:54:16,460 --> 01:54:18,060 It's just the Australian version of Made In Chelsea. 2337 01:54:18,100 --> 01:54:20,100 It's a bag of shite this, Julie. 2338 01:54:20,140 --> 01:54:20,300 It's a bag of shite this, Julie. 2339 01:54:23,540 --> 01:54:25,540 Do you know what, I tune in to watch Made in Bondi 2340 01:54:25,580 --> 01:54:26,180 Do you know what, I tune in to watch Made in Bondi 2341 01:54:26,220 --> 01:54:28,220 purely because of Lawson and his animated self. 2342 01:54:28,260 --> 01:54:28,900 purely because of Lawson and his animated self. 2343 01:54:28,940 --> 01:54:30,940 Like, why is your neck turning 90 degrees? 2344 01:54:30,980 --> 01:54:32,500 Like, why is your neck turning 90 degrees? 2345 01:54:32,540 --> 01:54:34,020 It's like he's constantly acting. 2346 01:54:34,060 --> 01:54:35,020 Yeah. 2347 01:54:36,620 --> 01:54:38,620 OK, this is looking really good. 2348 01:54:38,660 --> 01:54:38,860 OK, this is looking really good. 2349 01:54:38,900 --> 01:54:39,860 Whoa! Who's that? 2350 01:54:39,900 --> 01:54:41,900 Do you want to give me a few serious vibes? 2351 01:54:41,940 --> 01:54:42,180 Do you want to give me a few serious vibes? 2352 01:54:42,220 --> 01:54:42,980 Oh, no. 2353 01:54:44,340 --> 01:54:46,020 Oh, it's Lawson. 2354 01:54:46,060 --> 01:54:48,060 Do you know, he's a very odd boy, that Lawson. 2355 01:54:48,100 --> 01:54:48,380 Do you know, he's a very odd boy, that Lawson. 2356 01:54:48,420 --> 01:54:50,420 He's got a good body, but not a good... 2357 01:54:50,460 --> 01:54:50,740 He's got a good body, but not a good... 2358 01:54:50,780 --> 01:54:52,220 Brain or face. That's the one. 2359 01:54:52,260 --> 01:54:54,020 So how are things going with Bella? 2360 01:54:54,060 --> 01:54:55,700 Things are good, Emsie. 2361 01:54:55,740 --> 01:54:56,860 Why does he speak like that? 2362 01:54:56,900 --> 01:54:58,900 "I'm good, Emsie!" Yeah! 2363 01:54:58,940 --> 01:54:59,460 "I'm good, Emsie!" Yeah! 2364 01:55:00,620 --> 01:55:01,940 Believe me. 2365 01:55:01,980 --> 01:55:03,980 Built up this very special date for Bella and I, 2366 01:55:04,020 --> 01:55:04,700 Built up this very special date for Bella and I, 2367 01:55:04,740 --> 01:55:06,740 and...I'm out of ideas. 2368 01:55:06,780 --> 01:55:08,540 and...I'm out of ideas. 2369 01:55:08,580 --> 01:55:10,580 He is rich, so he should be able to come up with something good. 2370 01:55:10,620 --> 01:55:10,900 He is rich, so he should be able to come up with something good. 2371 01:55:10,940 --> 01:55:12,940 The textbook one is cinema - 2372 01:55:12,980 --> 01:55:13,180 The textbook one is cinema - 2373 01:55:13,220 --> 01:55:15,140 hole in the bottom of the popcorn. 2374 01:55:16,540 --> 01:55:18,540 I think that I wanted to speak to you. 2375 01:55:18,580 --> 01:55:20,580 I think that I wanted to speak to you. 2376 01:55:20,620 --> 01:55:22,140 I think that I wanted to speak to you. 2377 01:55:23,260 --> 01:55:24,780 Oh, no. 2378 01:55:24,820 --> 01:55:26,140 BOTH:"Oh, no." 2379 01:55:27,740 --> 01:55:29,260 "Where is this going?" 2380 01:55:29,300 --> 01:55:31,300 I've always kind of had this weird thing that it feels like I'm not 2381 01:55:31,340 --> 01:55:33,340 I've always kind of had this weird thing that it feels like I'm not 2382 01:55:33,380 --> 01:55:34,220 I've always kind of had this weird thing that it feels like I'm not 2383 01:55:34,260 --> 01:55:35,860 good enough for you. 2384 01:55:38,500 --> 01:55:39,980 No. 2385 01:55:40,020 --> 01:55:42,020 Did you see how long the eyes closed for? 2386 01:55:42,060 --> 01:55:42,540 Did you see how long the eyes closed for? 2387 01:55:42,580 --> 01:55:43,540 This is him. 2388 01:55:46,260 --> 01:55:47,220 It... 2389 01:55:48,380 --> 01:55:50,060 ..kills me 2390 01:55:50,100 --> 01:55:51,820 to hear you. 2391 01:55:51,860 --> 01:55:53,220 Speak faster, man! 2392 01:55:53,260 --> 01:55:55,260 We got stuff to do. 2393 01:55:55,300 --> 01:55:55,500 We got stuff to do. 2394 01:55:55,540 --> 01:55:57,540 You're everything and more. 2395 01:55:57,580 --> 01:55:58,100 You're everything and more. 2396 01:55:58,140 --> 01:56:00,140 And you mean more to me than anyone on this planet. 2397 01:56:00,180 --> 01:56:02,020 And you mean more to me than anyone on this planet. 2398 01:56:02,060 --> 01:56:04,060 He's just saying what he thinks he needs to say in the moment. 2399 01:56:04,100 --> 01:56:04,620 He's just saying what he thinks he needs to say in the moment. 2400 01:56:04,660 --> 01:56:06,420 Do you reckon? That is exactly it. That's it. 2401 01:56:06,460 --> 01:56:08,340 He's saying what she wants to hear. Yeah. 2402 01:56:08,380 --> 01:56:10,380 The problem we've got here is it's bullshit. 2403 01:56:10,420 --> 01:56:10,740 The problem we've got here is it's bullshit. 2404 01:56:10,780 --> 01:56:11,820 Yeah, yeah. 2405 01:56:11,860 --> 01:56:13,860 And there's going to be a big but on the end of this. 2406 01:56:13,900 --> 01:56:15,900 "You mean more to me than anyone in the world... 2407 01:56:15,940 --> 01:56:16,980 "You mean more to me than anyone in the world... 2408 01:56:17,020 --> 01:56:18,260 BOTH: "But..." 2409 01:56:18,300 --> 01:56:19,460 But, 2410 01:56:19,500 --> 01:56:20,700 I can't lie, 2411 01:56:20,740 --> 01:56:22,740 to come, from my side, out of the blue... 2412 01:56:22,780 --> 01:56:23,060 to come, from my side, out of the blue... 2413 01:56:23,100 --> 01:56:24,860 Bella's been saying how she feels from the get-go 2414 01:56:24,900 --> 01:56:26,300 that she wants something serious. 2415 01:56:26,340 --> 01:56:28,020 How could it be blindsided? 2416 01:56:28,060 --> 01:56:30,060 ..which is why I need time to think. 2417 01:56:30,100 --> 01:56:30,340 ..which is why I need time to think. 2418 01:56:30,380 --> 01:56:32,380 What?! You need time to think?! 2419 01:56:32,420 --> 01:56:32,660 What?! You need time to think?! 2420 01:56:32,700 --> 01:56:34,340 What's there to think about? 2421 01:56:34,380 --> 01:56:36,380 You either love her or you don't. 2422 01:56:36,420 --> 01:56:36,620 You either love her or you don't. 2423 01:56:36,660 --> 01:56:38,300 # I don't want to lose you... # 2424 01:56:38,340 --> 01:56:39,820 WHISPERING:Give me some time. 2425 01:56:41,140 --> 01:56:43,140 Oh. Wow. 2426 01:56:43,180 --> 01:56:43,380 Oh. Wow. 2427 01:56:43,420 --> 01:56:44,740 "I can give you some time." 2428 01:56:46,460 --> 01:56:48,220 I think I've seen it all now. 2429 01:56:50,220 --> 01:56:51,740 Hi, lovely ladies. Hello. 2430 01:56:51,780 --> 01:56:53,780 After having some time to think, Lawson and Bella were reunited 2431 01:56:53,820 --> 01:56:55,700 After having some time to think, Lawson and Bella were reunited 2432 01:56:55,740 --> 01:56:57,300 at a fancy ball. 2433 01:56:57,340 --> 01:56:59,340 HE EXHALES SHARPLY My mind has been a battleground. 2434 01:56:59,380 --> 01:57:01,380 HE EXHALES SHARPLY My mind has been a battleground. 2435 01:57:01,420 --> 01:57:01,820 HE EXHALES SHARPLY My mind has been a battleground. 2436 01:57:03,620 --> 01:57:05,620 That's a great line. I'm going to start using that at work. Yeah. 2437 01:57:05,660 --> 01:57:06,180 That's a great line. I'm going to start using that at work. Yeah. 2438 01:57:06,220 --> 01:57:08,020 Oh, God. 2439 01:57:08,060 --> 01:57:10,060 So dramatic, isn't he? 2440 01:57:10,100 --> 01:57:10,540 So dramatic, isn't he? 2441 01:57:10,580 --> 01:57:12,460 Yes. 2442 01:57:12,500 --> 01:57:14,500 So I've thought deep and hard. 2443 01:57:14,540 --> 01:57:15,300 So I've thought deep and hard. 2444 01:57:15,340 --> 01:57:16,540 Fucking hell. Wow. 2445 01:57:16,580 --> 01:57:18,060 He's drawing this out, innit? 2446 01:57:18,100 --> 01:57:20,100 Bloody hell. Is he milking this or what? 2447 01:57:20,140 --> 01:57:21,100 Bloody hell. Is he milking this or what? 2448 01:57:21,140 --> 01:57:22,780 I wouldn't have patience for him. 2449 01:57:22,820 --> 01:57:24,820 And I can't see myself being a boyfriend in this present moment. 2450 01:57:24,860 --> 01:57:26,860 And I can't see myself being a boyfriend in this present moment. 2451 01:57:26,900 --> 01:57:28,820 And I can't see myself being a boyfriend in this present moment. 2452 01:57:28,860 --> 01:57:30,820 Eh?! What?! 2453 01:57:30,860 --> 01:57:32,860 Oh, mixed signals central. Piss off. 2454 01:57:32,900 --> 01:57:33,660 Oh, mixed signals central. Piss off. 2455 01:57:33,700 --> 01:57:35,700 Like, I have no more time for this now. None. 2456 01:57:35,740 --> 01:57:37,740 Like, I have no more time for this now. None. 2457 01:57:37,780 --> 01:57:38,020 Like, I have no more time for this now. None. 2458 01:57:38,060 --> 01:57:39,660 Yes, Bella. BOTH: You tell him. 2459 01:57:39,700 --> 01:57:41,700 Exactly. Kick him in t'bollocks and walk off. 2460 01:57:41,740 --> 01:57:42,940 Exactly. Kick him in t'bollocks and walk off. 2461 01:57:42,980 --> 01:57:44,980 I completely understand that it's at the end of the line. 2462 01:57:45,020 --> 01:57:47,020 I completely understand that it's at the end of the line. 2463 01:57:47,060 --> 01:57:47,420 I completely understand that it's at the end of the line. 2464 01:57:47,460 --> 01:57:49,260 MIMICS INTONATION:"That it's the end of the line." 2465 01:57:49,300 --> 01:57:51,300 Who ever talks like that? It's so dramatic. Nobody talks like that. 2466 01:57:51,340 --> 01:57:52,260 Who ever talks like that? It's so dramatic. Nobody talks like that. 2467 01:57:56,620 --> 01:57:58,340 Why does he look so sad? It's his decision. 2468 01:57:58,380 --> 01:58:00,380 It's the fake quivering of the lip for me. 2469 01:58:00,420 --> 01:58:00,740 It's the fake quivering of the lip for me. 2470 01:58:00,780 --> 01:58:02,780 Now he's regretting it. Could you see that? 2471 01:58:02,820 --> 01:58:03,140 Now he's regretting it. Could you see that? 2472 01:58:03,180 --> 01:58:05,180 He just realised what happened. 2473 01:58:05,220 --> 01:58:05,380 He just realised what happened. 2474 01:58:09,460 --> 01:58:11,460 She's looking over her shoulder to see if he's gone after her. 2475 01:58:11,500 --> 01:58:11,780 She's looking over her shoulder to see if he's gone after her. 2476 01:58:11,820 --> 01:58:13,580 Yeah. Oh, no, he hasn't. Oh, no. Oh... 2477 01:58:13,620 --> 01:58:15,300 No, he's definitely being serious. 2478 01:58:15,340 --> 01:58:17,340 ..he's just getting an egg mayo sandwich off the buffet. 2479 01:58:17,380 --> 01:58:18,300 ..he's just getting an egg mayo sandwich off the buffet. 2480 01:58:18,340 --> 01:58:20,300 And he's talking to some other girl. 2481 01:58:29,120 --> 01:58:30,520 In Bristol... 2482 01:58:30,560 --> 01:58:32,560 Do you know what, I was looking through social media 2483 01:58:32,600 --> 01:58:32,880 Do you know what, I was looking through social media 2484 01:58:32,920 --> 01:58:34,920 and my old photos, and some of the stuff that I used to wear, 2485 01:58:34,960 --> 01:58:36,120 and my old photos, and some of the stuff that I used to wear, 2486 01:58:36,160 --> 01:58:37,240 wow. 2487 01:58:37,280 --> 01:58:39,280 I used to wear V-necks all the time. 2488 01:58:39,320 --> 01:58:39,560 I used to wear V-necks all the time. 2489 01:58:39,600 --> 01:58:41,600 I never got those. The low ones? Yeah. Simon Cowell mans. 2490 01:58:41,640 --> 01:58:42,240 I never got those. The low ones? Yeah. Simon Cowell mans. 2491 01:58:42,280 --> 01:58:44,280 And I used to put, like, Vaseline in the crease as well to like, 2492 01:58:44,320 --> 01:58:46,040 And I used to put, like, Vaseline in the crease as well to like, 2493 01:58:46,080 --> 01:58:48,080 do you know what I mean? To make it shine? Yeah, make it shine. 2494 01:58:48,120 --> 01:58:48,360 do you know what I mean? To make it shine? Yeah, make it shine. 2495 01:58:48,400 --> 01:58:50,000 Nah, you went too far. 2496 01:58:50,040 --> 01:58:52,040 ..brothers Tremaine, Twaine and Tristan. 2497 01:58:52,080 --> 01:58:53,000 ..brothers Tremaine, Twaine and Tristan. 2498 01:58:53,040 --> 01:58:54,360 So you used to contour your chest hair? 2499 01:58:54,400 --> 01:58:56,400 Yeah, contour. You know what I mean? 2500 01:58:56,440 --> 01:58:56,760 Yeah, contour. You know what I mean? 2501 01:58:56,800 --> 01:58:57,800 That's what I mean. 2502 01:58:57,840 --> 01:58:59,560 To make it, like, pop out a bit. 2503 01:58:59,600 --> 01:59:01,240 You know what I'm saying? 2504 01:59:01,280 --> 01:59:02,600 You shouldn't have told me that. 2505 01:59:02,640 --> 01:59:04,640 That's some footballers ting, man. 2506 01:59:04,680 --> 01:59:04,880 That's some footballers ting, man. 2507 01:59:08,680 --> 01:59:10,680 In November, we took a step back in time for a romp around the '80s 2508 01:59:10,720 --> 01:59:12,720 In November, we took a step back in time for a romp around the '80s 2509 01:59:12,760 --> 01:59:13,280 In November, we took a step back in time for a romp around the '80s 2510 01:59:13,320 --> 01:59:14,440 on Disney+. 2511 01:59:14,480 --> 01:59:16,480 Rivals, a bit of smut, Pedders. 2512 01:59:16,520 --> 01:59:16,760 Rivals, a bit of smut, Pedders. 2513 01:59:16,800 --> 01:59:18,800 It's my weekly dose of smut, this, I like it. 2514 01:59:18,840 --> 01:59:19,120 It's my weekly dose of smut, this, I like it. 2515 01:59:19,160 --> 01:59:21,160 Have you been watching this? No, no, it don't bother me, sex. 2516 01:59:21,200 --> 01:59:23,000 Have you been watching this? No, no, it don't bother me, sex. 2517 01:59:23,040 --> 01:59:25,040 It's all about sex, innit? Is it about sex? 2518 01:59:25,080 --> 01:59:25,600 It's all about sex, innit? Is it about sex? 2519 01:59:25,640 --> 01:59:27,640 Yeah, near enough. No, I'm not interested. 2520 01:59:27,680 --> 01:59:28,160 Yeah, near enough. No, I'm not interested. 2521 01:59:28,200 --> 01:59:30,200 MUSIC: Y Viva Espana by Sylvia Vrethammar 2522 01:59:30,240 --> 01:59:31,280 MUSIC: Y Viva Espana by Sylvia Vrethammar 2523 01:59:31,320 --> 01:59:32,680 Oh, hang on. Where are we? 2524 01:59:32,720 --> 01:59:34,720 Oh, Blackpool, man. Wicked, innit? 2525 01:59:34,760 --> 01:59:35,240 Oh, Blackpool, man. Wicked, innit? 2526 01:59:35,280 --> 01:59:37,280 # Y viva Espana... # 2527 01:59:37,320 --> 01:59:38,920 # Y viva Espana... # 2528 01:59:38,960 --> 01:59:40,960 Spain. Just got back last night. 2529 01:59:41,000 --> 01:59:42,480 Spain. Just got back last night. 2530 01:59:42,520 --> 01:59:44,520 # Espana, por favor. # 2531 01:59:44,560 --> 01:59:45,440 # Espana, por favor. # 2532 01:59:47,160 --> 01:59:48,480 Oh, this is Cameron. 2533 01:59:48,520 --> 01:59:50,520 She's a hotshot producer that works for Tony, but she's also 2534 01:59:50,560 --> 01:59:51,760 She's a hotshot producer that works for Tony, but she's also 2535 01:59:51,800 --> 01:59:53,480 Tony's bit on the side. 2536 01:59:53,520 --> 01:59:54,480 KNOCK AT DOOR 2537 01:59:56,760 --> 01:59:58,760 She's expecting someone. 2538 01:59:58,800 --> 01:59:59,000 She's expecting someone. 2539 01:59:59,040 --> 02:00:00,360 Senorita Cook? 2540 02:00:00,400 --> 02:00:01,640 Oh, flowers. 2541 02:00:01,680 --> 02:00:03,480 Not what she was expecting. Ooh, roses. 2542 02:00:03,520 --> 02:00:04,960 Hello? OVER PHONE:It's me. 2543 02:00:05,000 --> 02:00:07,000 Lord Baddingham sends his apologies, but he won't be joining you. 2544 02:00:07,040 --> 02:00:07,920 Lord Baddingham sends his apologies, but he won't be joining you. 2545 02:00:07,960 --> 02:00:08,960 What? 2546 02:00:09,000 --> 02:00:10,520 I'm so sorry, Cameron. 2547 02:00:10,560 --> 02:00:12,120 Good luck tomorrow. 2548 02:00:12,160 --> 02:00:13,120 Goodbye. 2549 02:00:14,320 --> 02:00:15,920 He doesn't look bothered, does he? 2550 02:00:15,960 --> 02:00:17,960 He can't even do his own dirty work and ring her and let 2551 02:00:18,000 --> 02:00:18,320 He can't even do his own dirty work and ring her and let 2552 02:00:18,360 --> 02:00:19,520 her know himself. 2553 02:00:21,160 --> 02:00:22,160 Uh! 2554 02:00:22,200 --> 02:00:23,240 Oh. Fwoo! 2555 02:00:23,280 --> 02:00:25,280 She won't be bought with a bunch of flowers, will she? I'd have been. 2556 02:00:25,320 --> 02:00:26,320 She won't be bought with a bunch of flowers, will she? I'd have been. 2557 02:00:26,360 --> 02:00:28,360 Careful. You'll scare the pigeons. 2558 02:00:28,400 --> 02:00:28,560 Careful. You'll scare the pigeons. 2559 02:00:29,720 --> 02:00:30,720 HE CHUCKLES 2560 02:00:30,760 --> 02:00:32,760 Look who it is, right on cue. 2561 02:00:32,800 --> 02:00:34,480 It's Rupert. 2562 02:00:34,520 --> 02:00:36,520 No, Tony? Surprised the oily baron missed the opportunity 2563 02:00:36,560 --> 02:00:37,640 No, Tony? Surprised the oily baron missed the opportunity 2564 02:00:37,680 --> 02:00:39,360 for a few days of fun in the sun. 2565 02:00:39,400 --> 02:00:40,520 So he knows that... 2566 02:00:40,560 --> 02:00:42,560 Yeah, she's knocking him off. Knocking off Lord Baddingham. 2567 02:00:42,600 --> 02:00:43,320 Yeah, she's knocking him off. Knocking off Lord Baddingham. 2568 02:00:43,360 --> 02:00:45,280 Why is he always one step ahead? 2569 02:00:45,320 --> 02:00:46,840 You should join me for dinner. 2570 02:00:46,880 --> 02:00:48,080 Excuse me? 2571 02:00:48,120 --> 02:00:49,160 Ooh. 2572 02:00:49,200 --> 02:00:50,600 Hmm, you can see what's going to happen here. 2573 02:00:50,640 --> 02:00:52,640 So he's trying to move to her, then, innit? 2574 02:00:52,680 --> 02:00:52,920 So he's trying to move to her, then, innit? 2575 02:00:52,960 --> 02:00:54,680 Isn't he always? 2576 02:00:54,720 --> 02:00:56,160 He's trying to move to every woman. 2577 02:00:56,200 --> 02:00:58,200 Imagine how furious Tony would be if he knew you were actually 2578 02:00:58,240 --> 02:00:59,600 Imagine how furious Tony would be if he knew you were actually 2579 02:00:59,640 --> 02:01:00,920 having a good time. 2580 02:01:02,720 --> 02:01:04,720 He's read her like a book. 2581 02:01:04,760 --> 02:01:06,360 He's read her like a book. 2582 02:01:06,400 --> 02:01:08,400 She's going to be straight there. That'll piss Tony right off. 2583 02:01:08,440 --> 02:01:09,760 She's going to be straight there. That'll piss Tony right off. 2584 02:01:11,920 --> 02:01:13,920 Do you know what it reminds me of, Lee? Just a load of swingers. 2585 02:01:13,960 --> 02:01:15,200 Do you know what it reminds me of, Lee? Just a load of swingers. 2586 02:01:15,240 --> 02:01:16,440 It does, honest. 2587 02:01:16,480 --> 02:01:18,480 They're all bed-hopping with everybody else. 2588 02:01:18,520 --> 02:01:20,520 I think that's what people used to do in the '80s. 2589 02:01:20,560 --> 02:01:20,800 I think that's what people used to do in the '80s. 2590 02:01:20,840 --> 02:01:22,360 Really? Where was I? 2591 02:01:27,120 --> 02:01:28,680 What's Tony's appeal. 2592 02:01:28,720 --> 02:01:30,040 He was in Doctor Who. 2593 02:01:31,720 --> 02:01:33,720 I can see why he finds you irresistible. 2594 02:01:33,760 --> 02:01:35,000 I can see why he finds you irresistible. 2595 02:01:35,040 --> 02:01:37,040 Oh, he's a smooth talker, in't he? 2596 02:01:37,080 --> 02:01:37,360 Oh, he's a smooth talker, in't he? 2597 02:01:37,400 --> 02:01:39,400 I know what you're doing, and you're wasting your time. 2598 02:01:39,440 --> 02:01:41,200 I know what you're doing, and you're wasting your time. 2599 02:01:41,240 --> 02:01:43,000 BOTH: I don't think he is. 2600 02:01:43,040 --> 02:01:44,760 Rupert has got a plan. 2601 02:01:44,800 --> 02:01:46,800 And it's just, it's not only just to get Cameron in bed. 2602 02:01:46,840 --> 02:01:48,560 And it's just, it's not only just to get Cameron in bed. 2603 02:01:53,360 --> 02:01:55,280 We know what's going to happen, Pedro. 2604 02:01:55,320 --> 02:01:57,320 Do we, though? I think she's going to say no. 2605 02:01:57,360 --> 02:01:57,600 Do we, though? I think she's going to say no. 2606 02:01:57,640 --> 02:01:59,120 I suppose this is goodnight. 2607 02:01:59,160 --> 02:02:00,520 Yes, it is, you big perv. 2608 02:02:00,560 --> 02:02:02,560 "Have you got any of them Tassimo pods left in your room?" 2609 02:02:02,600 --> 02:02:03,520 "Have you got any of them Tassimo pods left in your room?" 2610 02:02:03,560 --> 02:02:05,560 "I've run out of little milks in my room. 2611 02:02:05,600 --> 02:02:05,840 "I've run out of little milks in my room. 2612 02:02:05,880 --> 02:02:07,360 "Can I come in for a brew?" 2613 02:02:09,640 --> 02:02:10,800 It's happening! 2614 02:02:13,440 --> 02:02:14,840 Well, they're going to have some fun. 2615 02:02:14,880 --> 02:02:16,640 I think we're going to have some fun watching. 2616 02:02:16,680 --> 02:02:18,360 I'd rather not with you. 2617 02:02:20,160 --> 02:02:22,160 Look at them perky boobies. I was just going to say. 2618 02:02:22,200 --> 02:02:22,520 Look at them perky boobies. I was just going to say. 2619 02:02:22,560 --> 02:02:24,560 Do you think they had body doubles and clingfilm and all of that? 2620 02:02:24,600 --> 02:02:26,000 Do you think they had body doubles and clingfilm and all of that? 2621 02:02:26,040 --> 02:02:27,000 No, no. 2622 02:02:31,040 --> 02:02:32,840 Ooh, look at that bum. 2623 02:02:32,880 --> 02:02:34,440 Oh, you would have a good squeeze, wouldn't you? 2624 02:02:34,480 --> 02:02:36,320 I'm sick of seeing his arse. 2625 02:02:36,360 --> 02:02:37,320 I'm not. 2626 02:02:41,640 --> 02:02:43,200 That's not realistic. 2627 02:02:43,240 --> 02:02:45,240 It's not realistic. You'd be like, "Oh, stop jiggling me." 2628 02:02:45,280 --> 02:02:45,960 It's not realistic. You'd be like, "Oh, stop jiggling me." 2629 02:02:46,000 --> 02:02:48,000 Yeah. "I've had a load of potatoes bravas." 2630 02:02:48,040 --> 02:02:49,080 Yeah. "I've had a load of potatoes bravas." 2631 02:02:49,120 --> 02:02:51,120 Wish you could come tonight. 2632 02:02:51,160 --> 02:02:51,400 Wish you could come tonight. 2633 02:02:51,440 --> 02:02:53,440 I'm not sure I fancy pretending to be Lord Baddingham for the evening. 2634 02:02:53,480 --> 02:02:55,040 I'm not sure I fancy pretending to be Lord Baddingham for the evening. 2635 02:02:55,080 --> 02:02:57,080 She's getting ready for the awards, isn't she? 2636 02:02:57,120 --> 02:02:57,400 She's getting ready for the awards, isn't she? 2637 02:02:57,440 --> 02:02:58,640 MUSIC: Call me (Spanish version) by Blondie 2638 02:02:58,680 --> 02:03:00,600 # Pintame la vida entera 2639 02:03:00,640 --> 02:03:02,640 # Pintame color 2640 02:03:02,680 --> 02:03:03,760 # Pintame color 2641 02:03:03,800 --> 02:03:05,160 # Siento asi... # 2642 02:03:05,200 --> 02:03:07,200 Ta-ra! Arrivederci. 2643 02:03:07,240 --> 02:03:07,440 Ta-ra! Arrivederci. 2644 02:03:09,120 --> 02:03:10,320 # Call me... # 2645 02:03:10,360 --> 02:03:11,360 He's off. He's off. 2646 02:03:11,400 --> 02:03:12,760 Oh, what's he up to? 2647 02:03:14,520 --> 02:03:15,960 # Call me... # 2648 02:03:16,000 --> 02:03:18,000 What's he doing? Oh, going through all her stuff. Yeah. 2649 02:03:18,040 --> 02:03:19,080 What's he doing? Oh, going through all her stuff. Yeah. 2650 02:03:19,120 --> 02:03:21,120 He's looking for something in her room, in't he? 2651 02:03:21,160 --> 02:03:21,400 He's looking for something in her room, in't he? 2652 02:03:21,440 --> 02:03:22,680 Yeah. 2653 02:03:22,720 --> 02:03:23,680 # Call me. # 2654 02:03:24,760 --> 02:03:25,800 Jackpot! 2655 02:03:25,840 --> 02:03:27,840 Right, so this is striking me as a Tony file, innit? 2656 02:03:27,880 --> 02:03:28,120 Right, so this is striking me as a Tony file, innit? 2657 02:03:28,160 --> 02:03:30,160 She meant nothing at all to him. 2658 02:03:30,200 --> 02:03:31,800 Well, no. It's all... 2659 02:03:31,840 --> 02:03:33,680 Yeah, it's just sex, innit? 2660 02:03:33,720 --> 02:03:34,880 Well, it's not sex. 2661 02:03:34,920 --> 02:03:36,920 He just wants to get back at his main rival, doesn't he? 2662 02:03:36,960 --> 02:03:37,480 He just wants to get back at his main rival, doesn't he? 2663 02:03:37,520 --> 02:03:39,520 Hello? I've got something of an emergency on my hands, and I need 2664 02:03:39,560 --> 02:03:40,760 Hello? I've got something of an emergency on my hands, and I need 2665 02:03:40,800 --> 02:03:42,800 these very important documents copied quickly. 2666 02:03:42,840 --> 02:03:43,080 these very important documents copied quickly. 2667 02:03:43,120 --> 02:03:44,080 Can you do that? 2668 02:03:44,120 --> 02:03:46,120 Photocopiers, they worked, didn't they, Mary? Mm. 2669 02:03:46,160 --> 02:03:47,240 Photocopiers, they worked, didn't they, Mary? Mm. 2670 02:03:47,280 --> 02:03:49,240 Cos all through the '80s, people used to sit 2671 02:03:49,280 --> 02:03:51,280 on top of the... Photocopiers. ..Xerox machines and send pictures 2672 02:03:51,320 --> 02:03:52,800 on top of the... Photocopiers. ..Xerox machines and send pictures 2673 02:03:52,840 --> 02:03:54,760 of their bottoms. Yeah. 2674 02:03:56,760 --> 02:03:58,080 Oh, she's back! 2675 02:03:59,880 --> 02:04:01,880 Shit, he'll have to run like hell now, won't he? 2676 02:04:01,920 --> 02:04:02,720 Shit, he'll have to run like hell now, won't he? 2677 02:04:02,760 --> 02:04:04,760 God, no. I couldn't be arsed with those stairs. I'd give up. 2678 02:04:04,800 --> 02:04:05,480 God, no. I couldn't be arsed with those stairs. I'd give up. 2679 02:04:05,520 --> 02:04:07,520 I'd have to admit that I'd stolen some documents. 2680 02:04:07,560 --> 02:04:07,920 I'd have to admit that I'd stolen some documents. 2681 02:04:11,360 --> 02:04:12,640 Oh, for heaven's sake. 2682 02:04:12,680 --> 02:04:14,360 He's not going to beat the lift. 2683 02:04:14,400 --> 02:04:16,400 Have you ever been stuck in a lift? 2684 02:04:16,440 --> 02:04:16,680 Have you ever been stuck in a lift? 2685 02:04:16,720 --> 02:04:18,720 No. No. Have you? No. 2686 02:04:18,760 --> 02:04:19,280 No. No. Have you? No. 2687 02:04:20,680 --> 02:04:22,680 I used to want to be stuck in a lift when I was a child 2688 02:04:22,720 --> 02:04:24,720 I used to want to be stuck in a lift when I was a child 2689 02:04:24,760 --> 02:04:25,120 I used to want to be stuck in a lift when I was a child 2690 02:04:25,160 --> 02:04:27,160 with Cliff Richard. Oh, sweet. 2691 02:04:27,200 --> 02:04:27,800 with Cliff Richard. Oh, sweet. 2692 02:04:27,840 --> 02:04:29,840 Cos I imagined that would be the only way I'd get his attention. 2693 02:04:29,880 --> 02:04:31,000 Cos I imagined that would be the only way I'd get his attention. 2694 02:04:34,240 --> 02:04:36,240 Oh, do you reckon Rupert's done it? 2695 02:04:36,280 --> 02:04:36,440 Oh, do you reckon Rupert's done it? 2696 02:04:39,880 --> 02:04:41,760 This prick! 2697 02:04:41,800 --> 02:04:43,800 How in the fucking hell did he get away with that? 2698 02:04:43,840 --> 02:04:45,840 How in the fucking hell did he get away with that? 2699 02:04:45,880 --> 02:04:46,080 How in the fucking hell did he get away with that? 2700 02:04:47,560 --> 02:04:49,320 I fucking did it. 2701 02:04:49,360 --> 02:04:50,440 "So did I." 2702 02:04:51,480 --> 02:04:53,480 Is this what people did in the '80s before smartphones, 2703 02:04:53,520 --> 02:04:55,440 Is this what people did in the '80s before smartphones, 2704 02:04:55,480 --> 02:04:57,480 before the t'internet? 100%. Right, take me back. 2705 02:04:57,520 --> 02:04:58,360 before the t'internet? 100%. Right, take me back. 2706 02:04:58,400 --> 02:05:00,400 Has he got wandering hand disease, Mary? 2707 02:05:00,440 --> 02:05:00,840 Has he got wandering hand disease, Mary? 2708 02:05:00,880 --> 02:05:02,800 Well, he just... 2709 02:05:02,840 --> 02:05:04,840 He basically just throbs with such virility that he just has to stand 2710 02:05:04,880 --> 02:05:06,880 He basically just throbs with such virility that he just has to stand 2711 02:05:06,920 --> 02:05:08,920 He basically just throbs with such virility that he just has to stand 2712 02:05:08,960 --> 02:05:09,360 He basically just throbs with such virility that he just has to stand 2713 02:05:09,400 --> 02:05:11,400 next to a woman, and she finds herself kind of collapsing into him. 2714 02:05:11,440 --> 02:05:13,440 next to a woman, and she finds herself kind of collapsing into him. 2715 02:05:13,480 --> 02:05:14,360 next to a woman, and she finds herself kind of collapsing into him. 2716 02:05:14,400 --> 02:05:16,040 Yielding. Yeah. 2717 02:05:18,320 --> 02:05:19,680 In Glasgow... 2718 02:05:19,720 --> 02:05:21,720 We've spoken about this before, but you need to stop shouting 2719 02:05:21,760 --> 02:05:22,840 We've spoken about this before, but you need to stop shouting 2720 02:05:22,880 --> 02:05:24,760 when you're playing the Xbox. Why? 2721 02:05:24,800 --> 02:05:26,800 Because people are starting to give me weird looks when I come 2722 02:05:26,840 --> 02:05:27,120 Because people are starting to give me weird looks when I come 2723 02:05:27,160 --> 02:05:29,160 out the house. ..Roisin and her boyfriend, Joe. 2724 02:05:29,200 --> 02:05:29,880 out the house. ..Roisin and her boyfriend, Joe. 2725 02:05:29,920 --> 02:05:31,120 What's that got to do with me? 2726 02:05:31,160 --> 02:05:33,120 Joe, do you know what you were shouting yesterday 2727 02:05:33,160 --> 02:05:35,160 with the windows fully open in the afternoon? 2728 02:05:35,200 --> 02:05:35,480 with the windows fully open in the afternoon? 2729 02:05:35,520 --> 02:05:37,520 You were shouting "Take it, take it, take it!" 2730 02:05:37,560 --> 02:05:38,240 You were shouting "Take it, take it, take it!" 2731 02:05:38,280 --> 02:05:40,280 Which you followed up with, "The hog is getting obliterated." 2732 02:05:40,320 --> 02:05:41,920 Which you followed up with, "The hog is getting obliterated." 2733 02:05:44,200 --> 02:05:46,200 The hog was getting obliterated. 2734 02:05:46,240 --> 02:05:46,480 The hog was getting obliterated. 2735 02:05:46,520 --> 02:05:48,520 Yeah, but people are going to put two and two together and get five 2736 02:05:48,560 --> 02:05:49,040 Yeah, but people are going to put two and two together and get five 2737 02:05:49,080 --> 02:05:50,600 and think I'm the hog. 2738 02:05:52,960 --> 02:05:54,960 In April, Channel 4 entertained us with the return of this. 2739 02:05:55,000 --> 02:05:57,000 In April, Channel 4 entertained us with the return of this. 2740 02:05:57,040 --> 02:05:57,800 In April, Channel 4 entertained us with the return of this. 2741 02:05:57,840 --> 02:05:59,840 Ellie, quick! A new series of The Piano! 2742 02:05:59,880 --> 02:06:00,520 Ellie, quick! A new series of The Piano! 2743 02:06:00,560 --> 02:06:02,560 Do you know something, at Christmas we went to Antalya and they had 2744 02:06:02,600 --> 02:06:03,840 Do you know something, at Christmas we went to Antalya and they had 2745 02:06:03,880 --> 02:06:05,880 a grand piano in the foyer and all like that, 2746 02:06:05,920 --> 02:06:06,200 a grand piano in the foyer and all like that, 2747 02:06:06,240 --> 02:06:08,240 and this bloke was playing it like mad and all like that. 2748 02:06:08,280 --> 02:06:08,960 and this bloke was playing it like mad and all like that. 2749 02:06:09,000 --> 02:06:11,000 Well, as the night went on, I went by and I thought, 2750 02:06:11,040 --> 02:06:11,480 Well, as the night went on, I went by and I thought, 2751 02:06:11,520 --> 02:06:13,240 oh, that piano's still going. 2752 02:06:13,280 --> 02:06:14,520 It was fucking electric. 2753 02:06:15,800 --> 02:06:17,800 Had he pissed off? And he'd gone! 2754 02:06:17,840 --> 02:06:19,840 {\an8}This year, our piano will travel to even more train stations 2755 02:06:19,880 --> 02:06:21,560 {\an8}This year, our piano will travel to even more train stations 2756 02:06:21,600 --> 02:06:22,920 up and down the nation... 2757 02:06:22,960 --> 02:06:24,960 Lovely to meet you. I'm Claudia. 2758 02:06:25,000 --> 02:06:25,400 Lovely to meet you. I'm Claudia. 2759 02:06:25,440 --> 02:06:27,440 ..celebrating more incredible undiscovered pianists 2760 02:06:27,480 --> 02:06:28,600 ..celebrating more incredible undiscovered pianists 2761 02:06:28,640 --> 02:06:29,800 than ever before. 2762 02:06:29,840 --> 02:06:31,840 I love this programme. The music programme with 2763 02:06:31,880 --> 02:06:32,280 I love this programme. The music programme with 2764 02:06:32,320 --> 02:06:34,200 everyone playing the piano and all that. 2765 02:06:34,240 --> 02:06:35,400 I'm proper jealous. 2766 02:06:35,440 --> 02:06:37,440 I wish I could play an instrument. 2767 02:06:37,480 --> 02:06:39,480 You said you was going to learn to play the ukulele, but you never. 2768 02:06:39,520 --> 02:06:41,520 You said you was going to learn to play the ukulele, but you never. 2769 02:06:41,560 --> 02:06:41,800 You said you was going to learn to play the ukulele, but you never. 2770 02:06:41,840 --> 02:06:42,640 It's hard. 2771 02:06:42,680 --> 02:06:44,680 This is The Piano. 2772 02:06:44,720 --> 02:06:45,360 This is The Piano. 2773 02:06:45,400 --> 02:06:46,400 The Piano. 2774 02:06:46,440 --> 02:06:48,440 # Pia, pia, piano... # 2775 02:06:48,480 --> 02:06:49,000 # Pia, pia, piano... # 2776 02:06:49,040 --> 02:06:50,320 # P&O. # 2777 02:06:50,360 --> 02:06:52,200 My favourite kind of ferry. 2778 02:06:52,240 --> 02:06:54,240 Just in case this gets a bit moving for you. 2779 02:06:54,280 --> 02:06:55,120 Just in case this gets a bit moving for you. 2780 02:06:55,160 --> 02:06:56,160 Cheers, son. 2781 02:06:56,200 --> 02:06:57,720 We're at Manchester Piccadilly. 2782 02:06:57,760 --> 02:06:59,760 Manchester Piccadilly. We were there not that long ago. Yeah. 2783 02:06:59,800 --> 02:07:00,760 Manchester Piccadilly. We were there not that long ago. Yeah. 2784 02:07:00,800 --> 02:07:02,800 They do a fantastic pasty. Yeah. 2785 02:07:02,840 --> 02:07:03,320 They do a fantastic pasty. Yeah. 2786 02:07:03,360 --> 02:07:05,360 And for the very first time on The Piano, we're about to meet 2787 02:07:05,400 --> 02:07:06,480 And for the very first time on The Piano, we're about to meet 2788 02:07:06,520 --> 02:07:07,840 a married couple. 2789 02:07:07,880 --> 02:07:09,440 Oh, married couple. 2790 02:07:09,480 --> 02:07:11,480 This will end in tears. I was going to say, argument pending. 2791 02:07:11,520 --> 02:07:12,360 This will end in tears. I was going to say, argument pending. 2792 02:07:12,400 --> 02:07:14,280 Hello. I'm Claudia. 2793 02:07:14,320 --> 02:07:16,320 Fran. Hi, Fran. Duncan. Hello, Duncan. 2794 02:07:16,360 --> 02:07:17,040 Fran. Hi, Fran. Duncan. Hello, Duncan. 2795 02:07:17,080 --> 02:07:19,080 Duncan. Duncan, come and have a seat. 2796 02:07:19,120 --> 02:07:19,400 Duncan. Duncan, come and have a seat. 2797 02:07:19,440 --> 02:07:20,920 Duncan, I believe you're going to play.Yeah. 2798 02:07:20,960 --> 02:07:22,480 Duncan's the pianoist. 2799 02:07:22,520 --> 02:07:24,520 How long have you been playing the piano? 2800 02:07:24,560 --> 02:07:24,800 How long have you been playing the piano? 2801 02:07:24,840 --> 02:07:26,520 Since I was four. 2802 02:07:26,560 --> 02:07:27,960 No way. 2803 02:07:28,000 --> 02:07:29,960 I've got to start Theodore on it now. 2804 02:07:30,000 --> 02:07:32,000 I'm 80 now, so a little while ago. 2805 02:07:32,040 --> 02:07:32,840 I'm 80 now, so a little while ago. 2806 02:07:32,880 --> 02:07:33,920 SHE GASPS Wow. 2807 02:07:33,960 --> 02:07:35,360 76 years. 2808 02:07:35,400 --> 02:07:37,400 I reckon he can bang out a good tune, this guy. Bloody hell. 2809 02:07:37,440 --> 02:07:38,520 I reckon he can bang out a good tune, this guy. Bloody hell. 2810 02:07:38,560 --> 02:07:40,200 76 years. 2811 02:07:40,240 --> 02:07:42,240 The first time I heard him play, which is a long time ago now, 2812 02:07:42,280 --> 02:07:42,800 The first time I heard him play, which is a long time ago now, 2813 02:07:42,840 --> 02:07:44,080 I said to him... 2814 02:07:44,120 --> 02:07:45,160 Stop. 2815 02:07:45,200 --> 02:07:47,200 "There's something rather special in your touch on the piano." 2816 02:07:47,240 --> 02:07:48,200 "There's something rather special in your touch on the piano." 2817 02:07:48,240 --> 02:07:50,240 Oh. Oh. What a chat-up line. 2818 02:07:50,280 --> 02:07:50,520 Oh. Oh. What a chat-up line. 2819 02:07:50,560 --> 02:07:52,560 That's what made her fall in love with Duncan. 2820 02:07:52,600 --> 02:07:52,880 That's what made her fall in love with Duncan. 2821 02:07:52,920 --> 02:07:54,920 We first set eyes on each other in 1964. 2822 02:07:54,960 --> 02:07:56,960 We first set eyes on each other in 1964. 2823 02:07:57,000 --> 02:07:57,280 We first set eyes on each other in 1964. 2824 02:07:57,320 --> 02:07:59,320 Oh, this is going to be a love story, this, Lee. 2825 02:07:59,360 --> 02:08:00,200 Oh, this is going to be a love story, this, Lee. 2826 02:08:00,240 --> 02:08:02,240 Duncan came into the room, and when I looked at him, 2827 02:08:02,280 --> 02:08:03,840 Duncan came into the room, and when I looked at him, 2828 02:08:03,880 --> 02:08:05,880 what went through my mind was that's exactly the sort 2829 02:08:05,920 --> 02:08:07,080 what went through my mind was that's exactly the sort 2830 02:08:07,120 --> 02:08:09,120 of man I would like to marry. 2831 02:08:09,160 --> 02:08:09,680 of man I would like to marry. 2832 02:08:09,720 --> 02:08:10,760 BOTH: Aww. 2833 02:08:10,800 --> 02:08:12,800 Must have been very similar when you looked at me. Mm-hm. 2834 02:08:12,840 --> 02:08:13,920 Must have been very similar when you looked at me. Mm-hm. 2835 02:08:13,960 --> 02:08:15,920 I haven't had that experience. 2836 02:08:15,960 --> 02:08:17,040 Neither have I. 2837 02:08:18,120 --> 02:08:20,120 In fact, in ten days we will have been married 42 years. 2838 02:08:20,160 --> 02:08:22,000 In fact, in ten days we will have been married 42 years. 2839 02:08:22,040 --> 02:08:24,040 42 years. Friggin' Nora! I could have killed you 2840 02:08:24,080 --> 02:08:25,040 42 years. Friggin' Nora! I could have killed you 2841 02:08:25,080 --> 02:08:27,080 and I would have been out before then. Wow. 2842 02:08:27,120 --> 02:08:28,240 and I would have been out before then. Wow. 2843 02:08:28,280 --> 02:08:30,080 How many years have we been married? 2844 02:08:30,120 --> 02:08:32,120 I don't know, Giles, but can you stop? Pipe down? Yeah. 2845 02:08:32,160 --> 02:08:33,800 I don't know, Giles, but can you stop? Pipe down? Yeah. 2846 02:08:33,840 --> 02:08:35,840 INTERVIEWER: And how does that feel, 42 years together? 2847 02:08:35,880 --> 02:08:36,400 INTERVIEWER: And how does that feel, 42 years together? 2848 02:08:36,440 --> 02:08:38,080 Absolutely fine. 2849 02:08:38,120 --> 02:08:40,120 There's no feeling of being bored, being bored with the situation. 2850 02:08:40,160 --> 02:08:42,160 There's no feeling of being bored, being bored with the situation. 2851 02:08:42,200 --> 02:08:44,200 There's no feeling of being bored, being bored with the situation. 2852 02:08:44,240 --> 02:08:45,400 There's no feeling of being bored, being bored with the situation. 2853 02:08:45,440 --> 02:08:47,000 He's got a bit of a stutter, hasn't he? 2854 02:08:47,040 --> 02:08:49,000 No, hang on a minute. 2855 02:08:49,040 --> 02:08:50,200 Except... 2856 02:08:50,240 --> 02:08:51,840 Er, no... 2857 02:08:53,640 --> 02:08:55,640 Yeah, Duncan obviously seems like he's struggling 2858 02:08:55,680 --> 02:08:55,920 Yeah, Duncan obviously seems like he's struggling 2859 02:08:55,960 --> 02:08:57,200 with getting his words out. 2860 02:08:57,240 --> 02:08:58,400 Oh, do you think he's got...? 2861 02:08:58,440 --> 02:09:00,440 Oh, Lee, I think he's going to say he's poorly. 2862 02:09:00,480 --> 02:09:00,920 Oh, Lee, I think he's going to say he's poorly. 2863 02:09:00,960 --> 02:09:02,680 Yeah. 2864 02:09:02,720 --> 02:09:04,720 Don't tell me he's got dementia, because that will upset me. 2865 02:09:04,760 --> 02:09:05,600 Don't tell me he's got dementia, because that will upset me. 2866 02:09:05,640 --> 02:09:07,640 I do have this difficulty with dealing with one or two 2867 02:09:07,680 --> 02:09:08,120 I do have this difficulty with dealing with one or two 2868 02:09:08,160 --> 02:09:10,160 of the questions you might ask me, simply because I've got, 2869 02:09:10,200 --> 02:09:11,840 of the questions you might ask me, simply because I've got, 2870 02:09:11,880 --> 02:09:13,880 you know, dementia, and I've had it for six years. 2871 02:09:13,920 --> 02:09:14,760 you know, dementia, and I've had it for six years. 2872 02:09:14,800 --> 02:09:16,000 Oh, no. 2873 02:09:16,040 --> 02:09:17,160 Oh, bless him. 2874 02:09:17,200 --> 02:09:19,200 He still hasn't lost the ability to play piano. No, no. 2875 02:09:19,240 --> 02:09:20,240 He still hasn't lost the ability to play piano. No, no. 2876 02:09:20,280 --> 02:09:21,280 Marvellous. 2877 02:09:21,320 --> 02:09:23,320 The future is unknown. 2878 02:09:23,360 --> 02:09:23,840 The future is unknown. 2879 02:09:23,880 --> 02:09:25,880 But Duncan is everything to me. 2880 02:09:25,920 --> 02:09:26,720 But Duncan is everything to me. 2881 02:09:26,760 --> 02:09:28,760 I would have him in any situation rather than not have him. 2882 02:09:28,800 --> 02:09:30,800 I would have him in any situation rather than not have him. 2883 02:09:30,840 --> 02:09:31,440 I would have him in any situation rather than not have him. 2884 02:09:31,480 --> 02:09:33,320 Oh, don't be saying that. 2885 02:09:33,360 --> 02:09:35,360 Why is it always happening on this programme? 2886 02:09:35,400 --> 02:09:35,960 Why is it always happening on this programme? 2887 02:09:36,000 --> 02:09:38,000 That's what you want someone to say to you about you, don't you? 2888 02:09:38,040 --> 02:09:38,280 That's what you want someone to say to you about you, don't you? 2889 02:09:38,320 --> 02:09:40,320 Yeah, you do. That's real love. 2890 02:09:40,360 --> 02:09:40,680 Yeah, you do. That's real love. 2891 02:09:40,720 --> 02:09:42,440 What are you going to play for us today? 2892 02:09:42,480 --> 02:09:44,400 It's the Theme for Fran. 2893 02:09:44,440 --> 02:09:46,440 So, this is Fran. 2894 02:09:46,480 --> 02:09:47,920 It's a great big thank you. 2895 02:09:47,960 --> 02:09:49,960 He wrote it. He wrote this for her to say thank you. 2896 02:09:50,000 --> 02:09:51,640 He wrote it. He wrote this for her to say thank you. 2897 02:09:51,680 --> 02:09:53,680 Even now, if he's just playing anything and then he plays that, 2898 02:09:53,720 --> 02:09:55,640 Even now, if he's just playing anything and then he plays that, 2899 02:09:55,680 --> 02:09:57,680 I just have to go across and give him a kiss. 2900 02:09:57,720 --> 02:09:57,960 I just have to go across and give him a kiss. 2901 02:09:58,000 --> 02:09:59,040 Aah. 2902 02:09:59,080 --> 02:10:01,080 You know, there's no material gift that would be better 2903 02:10:01,120 --> 02:10:01,520 You know, there's no material gift that would be better 2904 02:10:01,560 --> 02:10:03,560 than that, is there? No. 2905 02:10:03,600 --> 02:10:05,600 Have a wonderful time. Enjoy it. OK, will do. 2906 02:10:05,640 --> 02:10:06,440 Have a wonderful time. Enjoy it. OK, will do. 2907 02:10:06,480 --> 02:10:08,480 "Have a wonderful time." Oh, they're adorable. 2908 02:10:08,520 --> 02:10:09,400 "Have a wonderful time." Oh, they're adorable. 2909 02:10:09,440 --> 02:10:10,440 Get ready, Jane. 2910 02:10:10,480 --> 02:10:11,680 Come on, Duncan. 2911 02:10:21,920 --> 02:10:23,920 Oh, nice. It's really lovely. 2912 02:10:23,960 --> 02:10:24,240 Oh, nice. It's really lovely. 2913 02:10:24,280 --> 02:10:26,280 Really light and chirpy and delicate. 2914 02:10:26,320 --> 02:10:26,920 Really light and chirpy and delicate. 2915 02:10:26,960 --> 02:10:28,880 And I like it very much. 2916 02:10:32,400 --> 02:10:33,680 Oh, look at Fran. 2917 02:10:37,480 --> 02:10:39,480 I once went on a first date with somebody, and they played 2918 02:10:39,520 --> 02:10:40,560 I once went on a first date with somebody, and they played 2919 02:10:40,600 --> 02:10:41,680 the piano and sang to me. 2920 02:10:41,720 --> 02:10:43,720 And then I never went on another date with them ever again. 2921 02:10:43,760 --> 02:10:45,760 Gave you the ick, didn't it? Yes. 2922 02:10:45,800 --> 02:10:46,000 Gave you the ick, didn't it? Yes. 2923 02:10:50,160 --> 02:10:52,160 He hasn't forgot anything, Lee? No, he hasn't. 2924 02:10:52,200 --> 02:10:53,040 He hasn't forgot anything, Lee? No, he hasn't. 2925 02:10:53,080 --> 02:10:55,080 You do feel like you get, like, a glimpse of their life, don't you... 2926 02:10:55,120 --> 02:10:55,560 You do feel like you get, like, a glimpse of their life, don't you... 2927 02:10:55,600 --> 02:10:57,240 Yeah, defo. ..when he's playing that? 2928 02:10:57,280 --> 02:10:59,280 It's like a story he's telling, or something, isn't it? 2929 02:10:59,320 --> 02:10:59,560 It's like a story he's telling, or something, isn't it? 2930 02:11:05,280 --> 02:11:06,920 This could be Mum and Dad. 2931 02:11:06,960 --> 02:11:08,720 Bloody hell. Aah! 2932 02:11:09,840 --> 02:11:11,040 Oh, God. 2933 02:11:11,080 --> 02:11:13,080 I can't help it, I'm sorry. I can't. 2934 02:11:13,120 --> 02:11:14,440 I can't help it, I'm sorry. I can't. 2935 02:11:14,480 --> 02:11:16,480 It just gives me such total feeling about the girl I found 2936 02:11:16,520 --> 02:11:18,520 It just gives me such total feeling about the girl I found 2937 02:11:18,560 --> 02:11:20,560 It just gives me such total feeling about the girl I found 2938 02:11:20,600 --> 02:11:21,280 It just gives me such total feeling about the girl I found 2939 02:11:21,320 --> 02:11:22,480 and the girl I married. 2940 02:11:22,520 --> 02:11:24,520 The girl I love and always will. 2941 02:11:24,560 --> 02:11:24,760 The girl I love and always will. 2942 02:11:27,440 --> 02:11:29,440 Right, where's my Duncan? 2943 02:11:29,480 --> 02:11:29,680 Right, where's my Duncan? 2944 02:11:29,720 --> 02:11:31,200 I want a Duncan. 2945 02:11:31,240 --> 02:11:32,480 Is that too much to ask? 2946 02:11:32,520 --> 02:11:34,520 You do not get this in this day and age, do you? 2947 02:11:34,560 --> 02:11:35,320 You do not get this in this day and age, do you? 2948 02:11:35,360 --> 02:11:37,360 Men in 2024 are scraping the barrel. 2949 02:11:37,400 --> 02:11:38,080 Men in 2024 are scraping the barrel. 2950 02:11:39,760 --> 02:11:41,760 They're not fit to lace Duncan's boots, are they? 2951 02:11:41,800 --> 02:11:42,280 They're not fit to lace Duncan's boots, are they? 2952 02:11:42,320 --> 02:11:43,440 No. 2953 02:11:47,960 --> 02:11:49,520 Well done, Duncan. 2954 02:11:52,160 --> 02:11:53,800 That was unbelievable. 2955 02:11:53,840 --> 02:11:55,080 I like that bit at the end. 2956 02:11:55,120 --> 02:11:57,120 Yeah. I like his little panachey bit with his hands. 2957 02:11:57,160 --> 02:11:57,400 Yeah. I like his little panachey bit with his hands. 2958 02:11:57,440 --> 02:11:59,320 Little flourish. Yes. 2959 02:11:59,360 --> 02:12:00,760 Do you and Nat have a song? 2960 02:12:00,800 --> 02:12:02,640 Do we 'eck! 2961 02:12:02,680 --> 02:12:04,680 There's no romance in mine and Nat's relationship. 2962 02:12:04,720 --> 02:12:05,360 There's no romance in mine and Nat's relationship. 2963 02:12:05,400 --> 02:12:07,360 There's more romance in that.