1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,160 {\an1}- It's on the blink, Mary. - Literally? - It's not igniting. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,440 {\an1}It's not igniting, Mary. Turn it off. 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,720 {\an1}Turn it on again. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,000 {\an1}Turn the machine off at the wall. 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,440 {\an1}Wait a few seconds. 6 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,760 {\an1}Turn it back on again. 7 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,480 {\an1}What a time to...for the boiler to go on the blink, Mary. 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:21,520 {\an1}In the middle of winter, 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,320 {\an1}In the middle of winter, with snow forecast. 10 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,960 {\an1}This programme includes strong language and adult humour. 11 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,080 {\an1}- Aah! - No! 12 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,360 {\an1}Ooh! 13 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,720 {\an1}- What an entrance! - Ah! I'm living for this! 14 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,280 {\an1}- Taser him! - Oh! - Oh! 15 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,720 {\an1}- Do they talk like this all the time? - I don't think so. 16 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,680 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, here we go. 17 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:39,920 {\an1}What is that?! 18 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,360 {\an1}Oh, shut up! 19 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,520 {\an1}This doesn't look real. 20 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,800 {\an1}I don't think it is. 21 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,440 {\an1}A framboisier? What's a framboisier? 22 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,560 {\an1}Oh, I knew it! 23 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,720 {\an1}No! 24 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,200 {\an1}- This looks dodgy, doesn't it? - It does. Why is it dodgy? 25 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,480 {\an1}This is going to go down so badly! 26 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:54,640 {\an1}None of us learn, do we? 27 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,240 {\an1}I hate you! 28 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,240 {\an1}Must remember that bellend! 29 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,880 {\an1}This is what everybody came for. 30 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,240 {\an1}Alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary. 31 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,080 {\an1}- At least the nipples are covered. - Yeah. 32 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,760 {\an1}That's half the battle. 33 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:13,120 {\an1}In the week we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo, 34 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,440 {\an1}we enjoyed lots of great telly. 35 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,600 {\an1}They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. 36 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,600 {\an1}Please welcome Susie Dent! 37 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,000 {\an1}Susie! 38 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,560 {\an1}Lovely to see you. 39 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,920 {\an1}Of course the woman from Countdown's in this! 40 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,800 {\an1}- She is really smart, to be fair. - Yeah, she is. 41 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,240 {\an1}But although, at the same time, 42 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,520 {\an1}doesn't she just look up dictionary, like? 43 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,320 {\an1}That's right, all she does is flip through the dictionary! 44 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:44,040 {\an1}Yeah, and she goes, "Right, yeah, that is a real word." 45 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,240 {\an1}- We could do that. - I could do that, yeah! 46 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,880 {\an1}Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney+. 47 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,200 {\an7}The goal of the expedition 48 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,280 {\an7}is to find new species, 49 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,680 {\an7}not just for the sake of finding new species. 50 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,480 {\an7}You know, we're not collecting stamps here. 51 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,200 {\an1}His name's Prof? 52 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,680 {\an1}That means he's a professor. 53 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,120 {\an1}There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor 54 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,760 {\an1}because one time I filled out a form and I put Prof instead of Miss. 55 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,400 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 56 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:23,280 {\an1}And Olivia Attwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2. 57 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,160 {\an1}- It's in the millions. - Wow. 58 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,480 {\an1}I don't know why you don't do any of this. 59 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,560 {\an1}You'd make a fortune! 60 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,000 {\an1}You've always said that. You could do a chatline. 61 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,320 {\an1}I'd be good at it. 62 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,720 {\an1}- I know, you said... - Hey, Lee, look, I've already got... 63 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,600 {\an1}I'll show you. Ready? 64 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,720 {\an1}What? 65 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,040 {\an1}Taking your clothes off? What? 66 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,080 {\an1}"Hello, sir. Yes? 67 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,080 {\an1}"What would you like today? 68 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,840 {\an1}"Oh, you'd like me to take my dress off? 69 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,360 {\an1}"Yes, OK. 70 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,560 {\an1}"Oh, the zip's got a bit stuck. 71 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,040 {\an1}"Hold on moment. 72 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,120 {\an1}"Right, the dress is coming off now, sir." 73 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,200 {\an1}Innit good? 74 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,720 {\an1}Oh, I've got my finger stuck! 75 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:18,880 {\an1}In Leeds... 76 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,240 {\an1}Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night? 77 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,680 {\an1}Cos you seemed all right at the brunch. 78 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,560 {\an1}I think it were when I had them two spicy margaritas back-to-back, 79 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,840 {\an1}one spicy margarita after the other. 80 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,600 {\an1}I just love a spicy marg. 81 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,680 {\an1}..sisters Ellie and Izzi. 82 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,360 {\an1}Well, you went absolutely mad with me. 83 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,160 {\an1}I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going, 84 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,520 {\an1}"No, you know I wanted spicy margarita. 85 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,600 {\an1}"I wanted spicy margarita, why have you brought me pink gin?" 86 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,960 {\an1}Yeah, and so I necked that gin that you bought me 87 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,440 {\an1}and then trotted off to t' bar and bought myself two spicy margaritas. 88 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,960 {\an1}- Not one but two spicy margaritas. - Yeah, and... 89 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,280 {\an1}- Just to spite me. - Yeah. 90 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,120 {\an1}And then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other. 91 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,280 {\an1}Necked 'em. 92 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,160 {\an1}I actually think that after that point 93 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,200 {\an1}of necking those spicy margaritas, 94 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,680 {\an1}that's when the night becomes blurry. 95 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,760 {\an1}- That's when it spiralled! - That's when it spiralled, yeah. 96 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,560 {\an1}You rang me at two in t' morning and I thought, "Piss off!" 97 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,640 {\an1}On Thursday night, the latest bunch of business hopefuls 98 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,360 {\an1}were suited and booted and back in the firing line on BBC One. 99 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,120 {\an1}I tell you what, I watched episode one last week. Shitshow. 100 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,520 {\an1}I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain 101 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,800 {\an1}- to invent something that they would love. - Mm. 102 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,360 {\an1}But that would just never happen. 103 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,600 {\an1}You're fired. 104 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,000 {\an1}- We had to do a business plan when we took the pub. - Oh, did you? - Yeah. 105 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000 {\an1}Yeah, well, I never did it. 106 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,360 {\an1}- I didn't... - I wouldn't know how to start a business plan. - No. 107 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,760 {\an1}Where would you start? How do you start a business plan? 108 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,080 {\an1}You write it down. 109 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,960 {\an1}I know that, you silly bastard! 110 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,120 {\an1}In the programme, 111 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,480 {\an1}Lord Sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task. 112 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,760 {\an1}Are you sitting comfortably? 113 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:56,720 {\an1}We shall begin. 114 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,720 {\an1}Oh, it's Tony! 115 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,640 {\an1}Not Lord Sugar Tony. 116 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,080 {\an1} For your next task, 117 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,880 {\an1}I want you to create a story 118 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,680 {\an1}for four- to six-year-olds. 119 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,720 {\an1}Oh! That is such a fun task. 120 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,120 {\an1}You'll need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it. 121 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,720 {\an1}OK, an audio version I think would be tricky 122 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,160 {\an1}because there's no visual aid there. 123 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,320 {\an1}No. No, that's the audio bit. 124 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,480 {\an1}This is a good one. Surely they can't go far wrong with this. 125 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:24,520 {\an1}Writing a kids' book and 126 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,960 {\an1}- Writing a kids' book and recording it. - Exactly. 127 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,360 {\an1}I got a story idea, I think. 128 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,800 {\an1}Next for the boys... 129 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,600 {\an1}So mine is Gino Giraffe. 130 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,520 {\an1}He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo. 131 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,880 {\an1}- Oh, great. - What? 132 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,640 {\an1}- To have a poo? - Correct. 133 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,560 {\an1}No. Get him out. Nobody wants to talk about excrement. 134 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,440 {\an1}There is a boy called Astro, five years old, goes into space, 135 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,840 {\an1}and essentially, he's trying to find the perfect toilet. 136 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,560 {\an1}Why is it all based around toilets? 137 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,640 {\an1}He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space? 138 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,320 {\an1}Which mum and dad is going to enjoy 139 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,120 {\an1}reading that story to their child? 140 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,520 {\an1}One, two, three, poo! 141 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 142 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,280 {\an1}Oh, my God, this is only going to go one way. 143 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,000 {\an1}- Down the toilet. - Yeah. 144 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,360 {\an1}Next chapter for Marcus's boys... 145 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,920 {\an1}Please, Roo! Can I do a poo in your loo? 146 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,680 {\an1}Oh, my days. 147 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,120 {\an1}Do you want to do, for Doo Doo Land... 148 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,120 {\an1}# Da, da! # Prrrrrp! 149 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,320 {\an1}No. 150 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,720 {\an1}Don't do that. 151 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,160 {\an1}- You're taking the mick. - Is this for real? 152 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,600 {\an1}- Yeah. - Let's go. 153 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,880 {\an1}OK. 154 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,200 {\an1}# Dun, dun! # 155 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,480 {\an1}Prrrrrp! 156 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,640 {\an1}Oh! 157 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,000 {\an1}HE LAUGHS 158 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,400 {\an1}Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to? 159 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,000 {\an1}Central London. 160 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,280 {\an1}Are we excited? 161 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:37,760 {\an1} Yes! 162 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,040 {\an1}No! 163 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,400 {\an1}- Oh, my God, what are the kids going to say? - Oh, deary me. 164 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,920 {\an1}Right, this is your audience, isn't it? 165 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,800 {\an1}If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials. 166 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:49,200 {\an1}He's not scared of ANY planet in the universe. 167 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,200 {\an1}Except for one. 168 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,640 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, Jane! 169 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,160 {\an1}Oh! Look at the faces! 170 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,960 {\an1}Oh, they're bored! 171 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,240 {\an1}Doo Doo land! 172 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,600 {\an1}# Dun, dun! # 173 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,840 {\an1}Prrrrrp! 174 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,440 {\an1}HE LAUGHS 175 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,120 {\an1}Not a one is laughing. 176 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,040 {\an1}But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on? 177 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,480 {\an1}It isn't that funny. 178 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,680 {\an1}Oh! 179 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,480 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 180 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,400 {\an1}It isn't that funny! 181 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,040 {\an1}- Do you know what? Kids are brutal. - They are. 182 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,360 {\an1}Do you want to hear it one more time? 183 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,240 {\an1}- No. - No? 184 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,760 {\an1}No! 185 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,280 {\an1}Once was enough! 186 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,760 {\an1}That kid's like, with a cigarette, going, 187 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,680 {\an1}"I prefer the humour of PG Wodehouse!" 188 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,080 {\an1}5pm. 189 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,000 {\an1}Arriving, some of Britain's biggest book-sellers. 190 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,080 {\an1}- Oh, no. - Oh, God. 191 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,720 {\an1}- This is... This will be so cringey. - Oh, I can't wait. 192 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,160 {\an1}We are here to present to you, Astro And The Three Aliens. 193 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,760 {\an1}Nah! What the fuck? Nah! 194 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,440 {\an1}Look at the giant shit on his head! 195 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,440 {\an1}Doo Doo Land! 196 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,560 {\an1}# Dun, dun! # 197 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,800 {\an1}Prrrrrp! 198 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,480 {\an1}THEY ALL GROAN 199 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,680 {\an1}Oh, my God. 200 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,680 {\an1}That's exactly how it's gone down! 201 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,480 {\an1}Yeah! 202 00:07:59,480 --> 00:07:59,520 {\an1}They've actually narrated 203 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,120 {\an1}They've actually narrated how their book's gone down! 204 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,240 {\an1}In Hull... 205 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,560 {\an1} Are you glad to be back? 206 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,960 {\an1}Does it look as though I'm glad to be back? 207 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,240 {\an1}Did you enjoy it? 208 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,840 {\an1}- Yes, I did. - Oh, good. 209 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,440 {\an1}I enjoyed my break. 210 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,000 {\an1}- Where did I go? - Er... 211 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,360 {\an1}..best friends Jenny and Lee. 212 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,760 {\an1}Candide. 213 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,800 {\an1}No, not Candide. What is it? 214 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,080 {\an1}Er... 215 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,800 {\an1}India. 216 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,080 {\an1}Yeah. 217 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,440 {\an1}"Go." 218 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,840 {\an1}Oh, Goa! 219 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,720 {\an1}Oh, yeah, Goa, yeah. 220 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,200 {\an1}- Goa! I... - I'm surprised you haven't asked me, 221 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,800 {\an1}- where did I get it from? - Where did you get it from? 222 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,400 {\an1}Fucking India! Where do you think? Manchester? 223 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,200 {\an1}Oh, yeah. 224 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,680 {\an1}On Sunday night, we settled in for 225 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:48,640 {\an1}a light-hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV. 226 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,720 {\an1}The Floor! 227 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,160 {\an1}We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday. 228 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,480 {\an1}It's only one. 229 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:56,520 {\an1}You'd better drink it. 230 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,200 {\an1}- You'd better drink it. - Famous last words! 231 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,120 {\an1}I'm Rob Brydon, and this is The Floor. 232 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,080 {\an1}- Hello, Rob. - He looks like a koala. 233 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,360 {\an1}Let's bring in our players. 234 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,920 {\an1}Oh, they're all happy to be there... Oh, my Lord. 235 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:12,520 {\an1}Oh, I think I quite like this 236 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,400 {\an1}Oh, I think I quite like this already. 237 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,720 {\an1}Have they all got a box? They've all got their own box? 238 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,400 {\an1}So you choose your subject, 239 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,920 {\an1}depending on your specialist...specialism. 240 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,800 {\an1}So like, you might choose, I don't know, Aston Villa. 241 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,400 {\an1}- OK. Or pop music. - Yes. 242 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,080 {\an1}- And what would your special subject be? - Food. 243 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,640 {\an1}- Food? - Absolutely. 244 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,240 {\an1}Hello, everybody. 245 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,120 {\an1}49 of you remain. 246 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,760 {\an1}49! 247 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,280 {\an1}And you're all still in with a chance 248 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,840 {\an1}of winning that huge jackpot of £50,000. 249 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,200 {\an1}CHEERING 250 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,520 {\an1}- Ooh! - It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon work. - No. 251 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,480 {\an1}Let's light up the floor! 252 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,720 {\an1}What a strapline. 253 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,600 {\an1}Here we go, any second now... 254 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,200 {\an1}Oh! 255 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,120 {\an1}- Slay! - Oh, hello! 256 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,720 {\an1}Slay! Clock it! 257 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,280 {\an1}What does that mean? Sleigh bells? 258 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,760 {\an1}No, it must mean S-L-A-Y. 259 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,840 {\an1}He's going to kill the contestants, his rivals. Slay them. 260 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,160 {\an1}Now, then, George, your category is... 261 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,560 {\an1}US states. 262 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,440 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh! 263 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,920 {\an1}I've been in a few states, 264 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,200 {\an1}but not in many US states. 265 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,240 {\an1}So there's four. 266 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,920 {\an1}Four states? 267 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,840 {\an1}- America... - I think there's at least 60. 268 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,840 {\an1}America, New York... 269 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,240 {\an1}America, New York, and then there's another two. 270 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,560 {\an1}- You're lying to me. - I'm not. 271 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,080 {\an1}But George wasn't playing his own category. 272 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,560 {\an1}He was about to play Ayesha's category. 273 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,360 {\an1}The category is famous hair. 274 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,200 {\an1}- I don't think Dad would get very far with this one. - No! 275 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,480 {\an1}No. No. 276 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,880 {\an1} Claudia Winkleman! 277 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,440 {\an1} Claudia Winkleman. 278 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,680 {\an1}Long, black and shiny. No dandruff. 279 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,240 {\an1}Mr T! 280 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,560 {\an1}BA Baracus! "I ain't getting no plane, fool!" 281 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,120 {\an1}Mr T. 282 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,440 {\an1}I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks. 283 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,040 {\an1}We've all woken up like Mr T. 284 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,320 {\an1}Well, not all of us, but us people of colour. 285 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,880 {\an1}Harry Winkleman! 286 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,280 {\an1}No... No! 287 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,000 {\an1}Harry Winkleman! 288 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,760 {\an1}Prince Harry! 289 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,440 {\an1} Prince Harry. 290 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,040 {\an1}I mean, they've done him wonders there, 291 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,320 {\an1}- because they've clearly used an old picture. - Yeah. 292 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,560 {\an1}It's like orange smoke on top now. 293 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,280 {\an1}Oh! Um... 294 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,760 {\an1}- Barbara! - "Get out of my... 295 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,520 {\an1}"Get out of my pub!" EastEnders! 296 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,080 {\an1}Dolly Parton. 297 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,680 {\an1}- Oh, Dolly Parton! - Dolly Parton! 298 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,520 {\an1}I thought it was Peggy from EastEnders! 299 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,800 {\an1}Oh, I know. What's their name? 300 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,200 {\an1}What's THEIR name? Have you seen the beard? 301 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,640 {\an1}Oh, no. 302 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,680 {\an1}Jason Momoa. 303 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,040 {\an1}- I didn't know that one. - I was going to be like, Jesus? 304 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,280 {\an1}- I was going to say the one that... The one that's... - Shay! 305 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,160 {\an1}Posh Spice. 306 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,840 {\an1}No, that's not Posh Spice. 307 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,520 {\an1}It's Baby Spice. 308 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,880 {\an1}- Mel B? - Nope. 309 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,040 {\an1}Diana Ross. 310 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,880 {\an1}Mel B. 311 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,240 {\an1}Mel B?! 312 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,840 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh... 313 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,320 {\an1}I told you! 314 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,200 {\an1}I'm sorry, they're exaggerating her hair a little bit there. 315 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,200 {\an1}No, she doesn't look like that. 316 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,680 {\an1}Prince... 317 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,600 {\an1}Prince?! That's a woman! 318 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,320 {\an1}I was gonna say, "Prince William's woman!" 319 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,480 {\an1}Prince William's woman?! 320 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,040 {\an1}In this day and age, Amani?! 321 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,080 {\an1}In this day and age, she's only his woman?! 322 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,440 {\an1}I forgot her name! 323 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,200 {\an1}She's only his woman?! 324 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,680 {\an1}This is what I like to call an ironing show. 325 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:40,880 {\an1}You know if you're doing a bit of ironing, 326 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,760 {\an1}you bang this on, don't you? 327 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,240 {\an1}- Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus... - Yeah. 328 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,720 {\an1}- ..but now, you can just bang The Floor on. - Yeah. 329 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,600 {\an1}- Get the kids' uniforms washed out. - Yeah. - Done. 330 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,640 {\an1}- It's not going to put you off... - No. 331 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,920 {\an1}..but it's nice to have on in the background. 332 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,800 {\an1}In Manchester... 333 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,440 {\an1}Me mate's getting married on Friday 334 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:09,240 {\an1}and I'm really looking forward to it, but me mate's a vegetarian, 335 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,720 {\an1}so that means vegetarian food at the wedding. 336 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,680 {\an1}No, surely he'll do some normal options. 337 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,160 {\an1}It's veggie food. 338 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,720 {\an1}..the Malones. 339 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:23,720 {\an1}The thing is, I like vegetables and that, no issue with vegetables, 340 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:28,720 {\an1}but I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something. 341 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,720 {\an1}Hey, Shaun, you never know, you might go, 342 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,280 {\an1}the food might be that good, you might become a vegetarian. 343 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,000 {\an1}I can't see that. 344 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,720 {\an1}You can be the one that turns up, 345 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,280 {\an1}"Who's the guest that's turned up with the wedding present, 346 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,720 {\an1}"a packet of pork pies and sausage rolls here?" 347 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,240 {\an1}They're all going to be 'round it, aren't they? 348 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,680 {\an1}Don't give him ideas. 349 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,920 {\an1}This week, Disney+ was pushing a Hollywood A-lister 350 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,360 {\an1}to the limit on an epic new adventure series. 351 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,720 {\an1}Pole to Pole With Will Smith, Shirl. 352 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,480 {\an1}He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole. 353 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,440 {\an1}He's walking, is he? 354 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,680 {\an1}Walking?! 355 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:05,960 {\an1}Where is the North Pole? 356 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,480 {\an1}I don't think you can live there. 357 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,840 {\an1}- You can. - You can't. 358 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,360 {\an1}Santa lives there. 359 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,280 {\an1}Yeah, just Santa. No-one else. 360 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,360 {\an1}I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe. 361 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,000 {\an1}You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he? 362 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,720 {\an1}Did you ever have one of those friends... 363 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,080 {\an1}Why is he that close to the camera like that? 364 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,400 {\an1}..that, like, gets you in trouble all the time? 365 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,920 {\an1}- I was that friend. - Yeah. 366 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,720 {\an1}How does he know?! 367 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:38,160 {\an1}I remember my very first snake bite. You never forget your first. 368 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,680 {\an1}What do you mean? How many snake bites have you had in your life? 369 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,480 {\an1}Does he mean the shot? 370 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,840 {\an1}No, darling. 371 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,000 {\an1}Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites... 372 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,280 {\an1}- 27?! - ..24 broken bones, 400 stitches... 373 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,680 {\an1}Oh, my God. 374 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:52,880 {\an1}..two stingray stings 375 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,240 {\an1}and one near-fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon. 376 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,680 {\an1}Bloody hell, that's like my summer holidays. 377 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,720 {\an1}I've had all them. 378 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,080 {\an1}I hope you've got good health insurance. 379 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:06,480 {\an1}Bryan has us in the middle of the Amazon. 380 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,800 {\an1}And you want to go there? 381 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,080 {\an1}- Yeah, not necessarily with Bryan, though! - No! 382 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,920 {\an1}Now, Bryan thinks there are creatures here 383 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,520 {\an1}that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives. 384 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,640 {\an1}That's worth looking for. 385 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,280 {\an1}- Oh, wow. - OK, let them stay there. 386 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,560 {\an1}Innit? Stay there with your secret. 387 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,720 {\an1}We are arriving. 388 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,320 {\an1}The main goal of our expedition is just there. 389 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,840 {\an1}What's the main...? 390 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,280 {\an1}But today we are not going up. 391 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,680 {\an1}We are going down. 392 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,720 {\an1}- We're going up. - Oh, no, I couldn't be going down. 393 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,640 {\an1}I'm terrible. When I got stuck behind that woman 394 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,360 {\an1}in the Great Pyramid that year... I'll never forget it. 395 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,160 {\an1}Cueva de los Tayos, 396 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,640 {\an1}AKA where people don't come back out. 397 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,400 {\an1}You know what that means in Spanish? 398 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,720 {\an1}- What? - "Deep hole." 399 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,560 {\an1}We are going down, about 20-storey building. 400 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,360 {\an1}20-storey building?! Ain't there a lift?! 401 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,720 {\an1}See you on the bottom. 402 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:07,160 {\an1}"You go first, set some lights up and a little fire." 403 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,560 {\an1}Imagine if, down there, there's a cure for cancer. 404 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,880 {\an1}He's shooting for the stars. Fair play to him. 405 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,080 {\an1}Oh, I'd go. I'd go. 406 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,480 {\an1}- Oh, there's a cure for cancer. - Oh, please let there be. 407 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,720 {\an1}I'll come and help. 408 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,680 {\an1}It wasn't long before Bryan and Will's poking about 409 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,000 {\an1}would unearth some creepy crawlies. 410 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,480 {\an1}- Oh, hey. - Ooh... - Ooh, that's a nice one. 411 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,720 {\an1}Oh, wow. 412 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,040 {\an1}GEORGIA SCREAMS 413 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,640 {\an1}Oh, my God! 414 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,400 {\an1}What the fuck?! 415 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,480 {\an1}Sorry, Vin. 416 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,840 {\an1}- Oh, my God! Daniella, it's really big! I can't... - I'm not looking! 417 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,640 {\an1}We're going to need a bigger jug. 418 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,360 {\an1}- Here we go. - Thank you. 419 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,920 {\an1}- Ugh! No! - Oh, my God, it's the size of a hand! 420 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,480 {\an1}Hu-uge. That's hu-uge. 421 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,280 {\an1}I tell you what, that's got hairier legs than me. 422 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,280 {\an1}Yeah, that thing is insane-looking. 423 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,200 {\an1}Oh, my gosh, could you imagine that in your bedroom? 424 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,440 {\an1}Hee-hee! 425 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,520 {\an1}So what do they do now? 426 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,200 {\an1}They've got the animals, so how do they extract the venom? 427 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,560 {\an1}Cos them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they? 428 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,680 {\an1}So we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas. 429 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,960 {\an1}Milking tarantulas. Come on. 430 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,440 {\an1}TOM SQUEAKS 431 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,040 {\an1}How long does the spider stay knocked out? 432 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,640 {\an1}I try to do as minimal as possible, 433 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,640 {\an1}so it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most. 434 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,680 {\an1}So you should hurry up. 435 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,720 {\an1}Spider sedation. Well, I never. 436 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,120 {\an1}- It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal. - Uh-oh. 437 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,400 {\an1}Ugh! Ay, ay, ay! 438 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,880 {\an1}- What is it?! - Oh, it's just so big. 439 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:33,240 {\an1}All right, so, first, Amelio's going to pop open one of the fangs. 440 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:34,680 {\an1}- Mm-hm. - Ugh! 441 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,920 {\an1}Whoa. 442 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,520 {\an1}Fucking hell! 443 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,280 {\an1}State of that! 444 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,680 {\an1}Jesus! 445 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:42,960 {\an1}You getting any venom? 446 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,560 {\an1}Ooh, nice big drop. Look at that. 447 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,680 {\an1}- Oh, here it comes! - It's coming out! - Yeah. - Argh! - It's milking! 448 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,360 {\an1}There we go. Oh, that was a good amount. 449 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,640 {\an1}Oh, my God, look at that. 450 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,080 {\an1}The spider's waking up rapidly. 451 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,120 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, it's waking up now, Lee. 452 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,520 {\an1}- Oh, shit. - Rapidly? Fucking hell. 453 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,200 {\an1}Knock him out, man! 454 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,480 {\an1}Get some gas on him! 455 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,360 {\an1}Your first venom extraction. 456 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,320 {\an1}Look at all that. 457 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,160 {\an1}Will drinks it. 458 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,800 {\an1}"We going to do some shots down here, then, or what?" 459 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,280 {\an1}In Durham... 460 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,680 {\an1}When I go food shopping, cos I go food shopping now, 461 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,440 {\an1}only done it twice... 462 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,560 {\an1}You must be starving. 463 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,880 {\an1}..in the whole six months I've lived there. 464 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,400 {\an1}..best friends Abbie and Georgia. 465 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:23,440 {\an1}Well, that's when I done 466 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,240 {\an1}Well, that's when I done that week of HelloFresh, didn't I? 467 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,240 {\an1}- Ah. - I'll never do that again. 468 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,160 {\an1}Hated it. 469 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,680 {\an1}It was the worst week of my life. 470 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,960 {\an1}There was tomato puree up me walls. 471 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,680 {\an1}I hated every second. 472 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:39,440 {\an1}I'm being serious. 473 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,720 {\an1}I'm being serious. I put a complaint in. 474 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,080 {\an1}Did ya? 475 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,680 {\an1}"Please send a chef with this next time." 476 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:52,080 {\an1}On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living. 477 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,400 {\an1}- Right, get your notepad out. - What? 478 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:54,440 {\an1}Olivia Attwood - 479 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,760 {\an1}Olivia Attwood - How to Get Filthy Rich. 480 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,080 {\an1}Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you? 481 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,320 {\an1}- Too right I would. - Ohh... 482 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,320 {\an1}This gives you an insight into how people 483 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,320 {\an1}- are making money in, er, questionable ways. - Yeah. 484 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,920 {\an1}It's people that make money out of, like, OnlyFans and stuff. 485 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,280 {\an1} Ohh... 486 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,080 {\an1}Hey, I don't want Nat watching this, getting ideas. 487 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,440 {\an1}Seeing what else there is available... 488 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,160 {\an1}- Exactly. - ..on the internet for money. 489 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,240 {\an1}No, well, do you know what? 490 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,400 {\an1}I actually did once buy some saucy underwear 491 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:24,440 {\an1}and he got annoyed with me and says, 492 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,080 {\an1}and he got annoyed with me and says, "What have you bought that for?" 493 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,000 {\an1}Visibility on social media of the foot fetish 494 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,720 {\an1}has spiked in recent years... 495 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,040 {\an1}- Ooh! - Foot fetish! 496 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,200 {\an1}I don't want to look at my own, 497 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,200 {\an1}let alone someone else's dusty, crusty feet! 498 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,400 {\an1}Does that turn you on? 499 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,400 {\an1}No, not really. 500 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,720 {\an1}Is it supposed to? 501 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,320 {\an1}..with Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest 502 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,120 {\an1}from the under-35s. 503 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,800 {\an1}Don't include me in that. 504 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,360 {\an1}Yep, it's your generation. 505 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,720 {\an1}Look, you're slap-bang in the middle. 506 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,480 {\an1}My generation, we need to be doing better. 507 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,680 {\an1}I think everyone's got a foot fetish on the sly. 508 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,320 {\an1}- No. - Definitely. - No. 509 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,920 {\an1}One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet 510 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,200 {\an1}while serving in the Armed Forces. 511 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,880 {\an1}- What?! - You're joking. 512 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,240 {\an1}Surely you can't do that in the Armed Forces. 513 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,320 {\an1}What is so attractive about this size-11, stinky foot? 514 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,160 {\an1}Oh, Lord! Move that foot away! 515 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,960 {\an1}He has been the only person thus far 516 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,720 {\an1}to be kicked out of the Navy for creating adult content. 517 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,680 {\an1}Why can't he do that AND serve the nation? 518 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,960 {\an1}I like men in uniform, though, Lee. 519 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,280 {\an1}- Ohh! - I do, honestly. 520 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,640 {\an1}- I can believe... - Is that why you used to see the lollipop man? - Yeah! 521 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,800 {\an1}What he's told me, which I don't really understand, 522 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,760 {\an1}but he's doing a sock drop. 523 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:43,920 {\an1} A what? 524 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,000 {\an1}Sock drop. 525 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,360 {\an1}Now, this isn't the first time I've heard about this. 526 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:51,240 {\an1}There's a post that says, "Millennium Bridge, 10:30am today, 527 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,560 {\an1}"I am leaving a pair of dirty socks. 528 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,800 {\an1}"Come and get them." 529 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,840 {\an1}This is insane. 530 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,040 {\an1}I've missed my calling. 531 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,480 {\an1}The world has gone mad. 532 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,920 {\an1}I mean, my sock drawer needs a good sorting out, to be fair. 533 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,880 {\an1}If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks... 534 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,720 {\an1}I bin my holy socks. Maybe I should be selling 'em. 535 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,400 {\an1}We're in Central London today and, as requested, 536 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:12,440 {\an1}so many of you want me to leave 537 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:16,120 {\an1}so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge. 538 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,840 {\an1}Guys, look, you might see me on this bridge 539 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,280 {\an1}cos I was in London the other day. 540 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,280 {\an1}- If I turn up, it's just coincidence, OK? - Yeah, right! 541 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,800 {\an1}So I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing 542 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,120 {\an1}for four days straight. 543 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,200 {\an1}Ohh, four days?! 544 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,240 {\an1}Christ, they'll be walking around on their own! 545 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,680 {\an1}- He suffers for his art, doesn't he? - Clearly. 546 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,800 {\an1}He's tying them on. 547 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,720 {\an1}Right, there you go. 548 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,320 {\an1}Oh, well, I suppose he's got a pair... 549 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,800 {\an1}Well, he's learnt something in the Navy, nutty, 550 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,680 {\an1}he's learnt how to tie a knot. 551 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,040 {\an1}So what do the people that have 552 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,400 {\an1}picked up the socks in the past look like? 553 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:48,440 {\an1}I want to see who's 554 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,560 {\an1}I want to see who's getting those socks! 555 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,960 {\an1}- Yeah, I want to see! - That's what I want to know! - Name and shame! 556 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,640 {\an1}As we're leaving the bridge, Zak spots someone he recognises. 557 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,840 {\an1}THEY GASP 558 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,480 {\an1}- No! He recognises somebody! - Ohh, wow! 559 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,960 {\an1}That's one of my fans! 560 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,200 {\an1}Where?! Where?! 561 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,680 {\an1}Running for the sock now. 562 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,360 {\an1}AMANI SHRIEKS 563 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,960 {\an1}It's one of his fans, Mary. 564 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,640 {\an1}- How long has that been? - What? 30 seconds, minute? 565 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,520 {\an1}Christ, he's on it straight away. 566 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,720 {\an1}Shall we meet him? 567 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,720 {\an1}Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine. 568 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,320 {\an1}This is crazy. This is actually crazy. 569 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,040 {\an1}Have they gone? 570 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,160 {\an1}Someone got 'em before him. 571 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,120 {\an1}- HE GASPS - Somebody's already got him. - Oh, no! 572 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,000 {\an1}ANITA LAUGHS 573 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,880 {\an1}- Aww, look. - Oh, look, he's gutted. 574 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,280 {\an1}It's like, "Where's the socks?" 575 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,560 {\an1}Is he coming? 576 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,840 {\an1}- Hi. - Where are they? 577 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,920 {\an1}Now, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, nutty. 578 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,000 {\an1}I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something. 579 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,600 {\an1}Well, better luck next time. 580 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,840 {\an1}MAN LAUGHS 581 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,320 {\an1}Nice to meet you. Thanks for talking to me. 582 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,120 {\an1}I'll let you say your goodbyes. 583 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,800 {\an1}- I'll give you a hug. - Oh! - Wait, really? - I'll be nice. 584 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,120 {\an1}Oh, are they hugging? They're hugging, Daniella. 585 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,200 {\an1}Right. Ugh! 586 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,520 {\an1}- That'll be better than the socks. - Yeah. 587 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,000 {\an1}What could I show people? 588 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,520 {\an1}- What's the matter? - Well... 589 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,880 {\an1}- I don't want to play, cos I'm thinking of... - Oh. 590 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,720 {\an1}It's going to be your stinky underwear - 591 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,080 {\an1}that's what they want, Jane. 592 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,440 {\an1}Well, I could do a bra, couldn't I? 593 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,960 {\an1}Yeah, way too much already. 594 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,240 {\an1}I am so in to sell socks! 595 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,720 {\an1}It's not happening, darling. 596 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,880 {\an1}And I'm going and checking every sock in the drawer upstairs 597 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,560 {\an1}- before we go to bed tonight. - There's going to be a sock register! 598 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,080 {\an1}And there's going to be a sock register upstairs, 599 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,720 {\an1}and if any socks have gone next week, I'll know where they are! 600 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,880 {\an1}In the Cotswolds... 601 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,400 {\an1}- I almost did dry January. - What do you mean, you almost did? 602 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,080 {\an1}Well, I did...I did that week. 603 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,960 {\an1}- The week where you did three days of...? - I did four. 604 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,480 {\an1}..Andrew and his husband, Alfie. 605 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,080 {\an1}I quite liked it for my ten days. 606 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,400 {\an1}There's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge. 607 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,760 {\an1}- Yeah, I drank four. - OK, so it wasn't that... 608 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,560 {\an1}- It was more of a damp January. - It was, a total damp January. - OK. 609 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,960 {\an1}On Monday night, there were more police in pursuit on Channel 5. 610 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,280 {\an1}- Can I interest you? - Oh, I couldn't possibly. 611 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,320 {\an1}Thank you so much. 612 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:18,360 {\an1}- Come on, up you come. - Good girl. 613 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,000 {\an1}- Come on, up you come. - Good girl. - Yay! - Look, it's Motorway Cops. 614 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,800 {\an1}- Good girl, Tilly. - Watch this with me. 615 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,800 {\an1}Right, we're going to watch this so that you know 616 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,800 {\an1}what not to do on the motorway now that you're learning to drive. 617 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,280 {\an1}It's fine - Jake goes so slowly. He'll be fine. 618 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,800 {\an1}Cheers, Captain Obvious. 619 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,080 {\an7}HORN BLARES 620 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,840 {\an7}When it comes to bad driving, dashcam never lies. 621 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,920 {\an1}- There are some shite drivers out there, aren't there? - Shite. Shite. 622 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,000 {\an1}Down! 623 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,640 {\an1}Looking up the most dangerous people on our roads are... 624 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,200 {\an1}..the Motorway Cops. 625 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,080 {\an1}I'd love to see them catch a few. 626 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,440 {\an1}I haven't been on the motorway for ages. 627 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,760 {\an1}Since my mother died, there's no reason to go anywhere. 628 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,680 {\an1}Mum would make a good motorway cop. 629 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,240 {\an1}She can make a 1.4 turbo Mokka do things 630 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,680 {\an1}- that the Stig could only dream of. - Yeah. 631 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,680 {\an1}I like driving on the motorway, but I hate the lane hoggers, man. 632 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,240 {\an1}Move out of the way! 633 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,920 {\an1}- Chee doesn't like the lane hoggers, Andre. - She IS a lane hogger! 634 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,680 {\an1}She's the number one lane hogger! Oh, my days, Chee. 635 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,040 {\an1}- You need to move over now. - Dad's worse than me. - No. 636 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,600 {\an1}- Dad is worse than me. - Don't try, Chee. 637 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,600 {\an1}Your dad just... Your dad goes all over the place. 638 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,960 {\an1}- You're like, "Andre, just stay in one lane, man." - I move over. 639 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,280 {\an1}Chee sits there... "Neeee!" ..in this little Mini. "Neeeee!" 640 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,280 {\an1}PHONE LINE RINGS 641 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,400 {\an1}Humberside. That's us! 642 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,280 {\an1}A theft of fuel. You know what that means, don't you, Soph? 643 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,960 {\an1}- They've nicked some fuel. - That's right. 644 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,920 {\an1}- I've done that. Have you driven away... - Yeah. 645 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,080 {\an1}- ..without paying? - Yeah. 646 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,680 {\an1}- Accidentally, mine was. - Of course! 647 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,600 {\an1}- Oh, right, sorry. - Stop it! 648 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,960 {\an1}- Oh, he's stoned. On the drugs. - He's on drugs, is he, love? 649 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,400 {\an1}Oh, that's even worse, innit? 650 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,640 {\an1}A Bentley Continental?! 651 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,960 {\an1}- Oh, what? - In a Bentley?! - In a Bentley? - Whoa! 652 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,960 {\an1}And you can't pay for your fuel? 653 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,760 {\an1}Tango November 1-1, we're blue lighting across there now. 654 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,040 {\an1}"We're blue lighting! We're blue lighting!" 655 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,080 {\an1}"He believes he's the second coming of Jesus"? 656 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,000 {\an1}Oh, Jesus. He's off his trolley, then. 657 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,920 {\an1}To be fair, I would imagine that the second coming of Jesus 658 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,640 {\an1}- would drive around in a Bentley Continental. - Yeah. 659 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,520 {\an1}SIREN WAILS 660 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,320 {\an1}He's got a couple of pals in t'car and all. 661 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:33,360 {\an1} So it's Jesus 662 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,400 {\an1}So it's Jesus and the disciples! 663 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,120 {\an1}It is failing to stop. 664 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:42,400 {\an1}Well in excess of 7-0 in a 3-0. 665 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,800 {\an1}- Oh, he's doing 70 and 30. - Now, that's way worse than I was. 666 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,600 {\an1}- This is marvellous, this programme. - Yeah. 667 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,280 {\an1}There's the car! 668 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,240 {\an1}The wagons have got him! HGVs have got him! 669 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,720 {\an1}Box him in, box him in. 670 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:00,680 {\an1}Stop! Stop! 671 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,200 {\an1}Yeah, stop, you silly bastard. 672 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,040 {\an1}Contact made with subject vehicle. Contact made. 673 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,960 {\an1}Vehicle is continuing. 674 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,760 {\an1}- No! - No, he's got away! - The lorries, the lorries! 675 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,720 {\an1}Oh, my days! 676 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,320 {\an1}- You stupid wagons! - Fucking wagon drivers. 677 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,080 {\an1}- He's going to go straight through! - Oh! 678 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,920 {\an1}- SOPHIE GASPS - Whoa! 679 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,640 {\an1}He just went through the barrier! 680 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,280 {\an1}It's done a right, right, right. Right, right, right. 681 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,880 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, my God! 682 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,640 {\an1}- This is absolutely wild. - It's crazy. 683 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,920 {\an1}- It's like a James Bond film. - Isn't it? 684 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,400 {\an1}- All right. - You've got backup? OK, good, good. Finally. 685 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,640 {\an1}Where's the helicopter, man? 686 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,920 {\an1}Shit a brick! This is fast. 687 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,160 {\an1}This is so cool. 688 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,240 {\an1}- It is pretty... - For all the wrong reasons! 689 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,240 {\an1}This must be the best car chase ever. 690 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,960 {\an1}It's a bit fantastic, isn't it? 691 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,280 {\an1}SIREN WAILS 692 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,080 {\an1}They got him. They got him. That's it. They got him. 693 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,000 {\an1}- "He's been dogged"? - "He's been dogged"? 694 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,240 {\an1}- ELLIE GASPS - He's been dogged! 695 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,840 {\an1}He's been dogged! Get him dogged! 696 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,440 {\an1}- Lay on your front! Lay on your front! - Now! - Do it now! Do not move! 697 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,440 {\an1}- I don't think he can move, can he? - There's not a chance! 698 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,200 {\an1}There's not a chance of him moving. Where's he off to? 699 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,720 {\an1}Right, mate, you're under arrest 700 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,360 {\an1}on suspicion of failing to stop for police, 701 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,640 {\an1}dangerous driving and abduct/kidnap. 702 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,120 {\an1}"On suspicion of failing to stop for the police"?! 703 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,680 {\an1}- There's no suspicion in that. - Yeah. - He's gone for 40 miles at 100mph. 704 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,280 {\an1}Charge him for that one now. 705 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,120 {\an1}You understand? 706 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,160 {\an1}Sorry? 707 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,040 {\an1}- Oh, look at that. Fucking hell. - Oh... 708 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:44,640 {\an1}He's wrecked that car. 709 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,440 {\an1}I mean, your mum has come back with some dents and scratches, 710 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,560 {\an1}but never like that. 711 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,920 {\an1}HE LAUGHS AND COUGHS 712 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,680 {\an1}In Leeds... 713 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,600 {\an1}Izzi, is that my jaw, or have I got jowls? 714 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,160 {\an1}Jowls, definitely. 715 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,440 {\an1}..sisters Ellie and Izzi. 716 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,040 {\an1}- I'm getting jowls? - Yeah. - Seriously? 717 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,440 {\an1}Like, are you being mean or are you being honest? 718 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,560 {\an1}Let me feel. 719 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,880 {\an1} It's jowls. 720 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,240 {\an1}Fuck's sake. 721 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,840 {\an1}Gobble, gobble! 722 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:20,960 {\an1}BBC NEWS THEME 723 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:26,040 {\an1}On Friday, an exciting expose was making the headlines on the BBC. 724 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,600 {\an1}Seeing as how we put the news on, any chance we could watch it? 725 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,120 {\an1}Cos it would be nice. I know I do love looking at doggies... 726 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,760 {\an1}Oh, thanks for the kiss. 727 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,760 {\an1}SHE SLURPS 728 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,600 {\an1}- SHE SLURPS - Er... 729 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,960 {\an1}Do you have to keep fucking slurping? 730 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,520 {\an1}Well, get me some bread, then! 731 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,760 {\an1}Complaints about rogue locksmiths have risen by two thirds 732 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,720 {\an1}after the last... over the last four years. 733 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,480 {\an1}- Good heavens! - Oh, good grief. 734 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,200 {\an1}- I'd no idea that was a thing. - No, neither did I. 735 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,160 {\an1}Oh, dear. What are they doing? 736 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,800 {\an1}Using a tactic known as bait and switch, 737 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,160 {\an1}where companies offer an affordable call-out fee, 738 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,160 {\an1}but hike up the price when they get there. 739 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,480 {\an1}- Oh, that's when you hear the, "Ooh..." - Yeah. 740 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:09,760 {\an1}"Ooh, that's a mortise." 741 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,360 {\an1}- HE INHALES SHARPLY - "Five-lever! Ooh!" - Yeah! Five-lever. 742 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,600 {\an1}Basically, every plumber and locksmith 743 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,680 {\an1}and builder and roofer in London is a crook. 744 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,000 {\an1}No. No, not all crooks. 745 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,720 {\an1}Emergency call-out fee, £45. 746 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,720 {\an1}Fin and Maria were locked inside 747 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,400 {\an1}when they called 24/7 Locksmiths UK. 748 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,720 {\an1}How do you get locked inside? 749 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,440 {\an1}You got locked between two doors one time. 750 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,320 {\an1}I did! I got locked in the porch! 751 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:34,360 {\an1}You was there all day, 752 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,680 {\an1}You was there all day, till I got back from work. 753 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,800 {\an1}They say they were quoted £45 over the phone. 754 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,120 {\an1}Well, that's where they get you - 755 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,920 {\an1}cheap call-out fee, expensive repair bills. 756 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,240 {\an1}Yes. Just making stuff up. 757 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,600 {\an1}- "We'll have to replace the door here, love." - Yeah, yeah. 758 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,360 {\an1}"Really, we're going to have to knock down this house, 759 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,480 {\an1}"really, to get you in." 760 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,840 {\an1}I stuck my head out the window and said, "Do not break the lock. 761 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,200 {\an1}"You know, we can definitely fix this without doing that. 762 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,080 {\an1}"We're not going to have to replace this. You don't need to do that." 763 00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,400 {\an1}And he said, "No, I need to do it." 764 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,200 {\an1}Snap, the lock was broken, he was in. 765 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,960 {\an1}I love how she's laughing at the situation. 766 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,320 {\an1}Yeah, cos she's thinking, "That's definitely not how it panned out." 767 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:05,360 {\an1}Yeah! "That's not 768 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,720 {\an1}Yeah! "That's not how it panned out at all." 769 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,400 {\an1}You know, "You said to him it doesn't need doing, 770 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,840 {\an1}"he said it needed doing, and I've said let's do it." 771 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,160 {\an1}£1,250 altogether. 772 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,480 {\an1}- What?! - SHE GASPS 773 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:18,440 {\an1}- No! - How much?! 774 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,200 {\an1}- How do you get to that much when the call-out fee was 45? - 45. 775 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,720 {\an1}Thieving, robbing bastards! 776 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,280 {\an1}We wanted to investigate. 777 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,160 {\an1}- Yeah. - Come on, let's set him up. 778 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,760 {\an1}So we secure the property and rigged it with secret cameras. 779 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,040 {\an1}Oh, I love this. A sting. 780 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,400 {\an1}- Is this the news? - Yes. 781 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,840 {\an1}- It's quite a long news, isn't it? - Yeah. 782 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:43,240 {\an1}But, first, we wanted to prove that this lock didn't need to be drilled. 783 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:47,240 {\an1}We should be able to bypass this lock in seconds - no damage. 784 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,920 {\an1}- By bypass, he meets break in? - Yeah. 785 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,440 {\an1}And they're not going to show us how to do that, 786 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,080 {\an1}cos that would be a bad idea. 787 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,200 {\an1}DOOR RATTLES 788 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:55,720 {\an1}LOCK CLICKS 789 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,280 {\an1}Is that how quick it is? 790 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:58,880 {\an1}Then we made the call. 791 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,600 {\an1}Well, you'd snap their hand off at that, wouldn't you? 792 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,400 {\an1}- 40 quid sounds quite reasonable. - Yeah. 793 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,840 {\an1}- Oh. - Here we go. 794 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,560 {\an1}You barely even examined it, mate! 795 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,880 {\an1}SHE GASPS 796 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,520 {\an1}No, that's naughty. 797 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,880 {\an1}But, at this point, when he's there, going, "The price of this is 125..." 798 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,200 {\an1}- I'd say, "Put your tools back in your van, tiger..." - Yeah. 799 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,880 {\an1}"..and fuck off." 800 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,520 {\an1}Butchery at its finest. 801 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,400 {\an1}"So there you go, that's the lock ruined now." 802 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,000 {\an1}Oh, my God! £376?! 803 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,360 {\an1}Where's Dominic Littlewood when you need him? 804 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,680 {\an1}- You know, he needs to be out there on the beat. - Yeah. 805 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,240 {\an1}- Do we go now? - Yeah. - Yeah. 806 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,720 {\an1}- Out with the camera and the microphone! - Oh, yeah! - Come on! 807 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,000 {\an1}I love wrong'uns being caught. 808 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,320 {\an1}- Hello. - Hello. - We're the BBC. - OK. 809 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:52,360 {\an1}Why are you charging so much 810 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,160 {\an1}Why are you charging so much for this job? 811 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,680 {\an1}Why is it costing so much? 812 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,360 {\an1}- "Because I'm a conman." - I know! 813 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,200 {\an1}"Next question." 814 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,640 {\an1}We emailed the company for further comment. 815 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,680 {\an1}They've yet to respond, and their website has been taken down. 816 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:06,880 {\an1}Oh, there's a surprise. 817 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,760 {\an1}Yeah, but it's probably been set up under another name. 818 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:09,840 {\an1}Yeah, yeah, yeah. 819 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,160 {\an1}You know, at least Dominic Littlewood would get stuck in. 820 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,160 {\an1}Oh, he'd have booted... 821 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,720 {\an1}He'd have fucking kicked the wing mirror off or something. 822 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,040 {\an1}At least! 823 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,360 {\an1}In Blackpool... 824 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,000 {\an1}Hey, Soph. Treated myself to a new suit. 825 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,920 {\an1}- Oh, very nice. - Aye, yeah. 826 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,560 {\an1}It was awkward, actually, 827 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,160 {\an1}cos I was just chatting to the lads that were there, 828 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,680 {\an1}you know, whose shop it is. Chris's shop. 829 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,080 {\an1}..Pete and his little sister, Sophie. 830 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:42,560 {\an1}Cos we were chatting and that, 831 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,480 {\an1}I didn't want to get changed in the dressing room, 832 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,960 {\an1}cos I thought it were rude. So I just got changed in the shop. 833 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,400 {\an1}And next thing, this dude's walked in 834 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,080 {\an1}and all I've got on is me undies and a smile. 835 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,120 {\an1}I don't think that's right. 836 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,520 {\an1}Well, nobody seemed to mind. That was the thing. 837 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,520 {\an1}But it just felt a bit awkward. 838 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,320 {\an1}Are you sure those men even work there? 839 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:04,920 {\an1}Well, I would hope so! 840 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,440 {\an1}You know, isn't there a curtain as well, 841 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,400 {\an1}so even if you were chatting, you could just chat through the curtain? 842 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,320 {\an1}I know, but I'd like to make eye contact when I'm speaking to people. 843 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,120 {\an1}I bet they're... I bet the people that worked in the shop, 844 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,640 {\an1}when you dropped your trousers, were thinking... 845 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,480 {\an1}- "What a lad!" - .."What is happening?!" - "Phwoar!" 846 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:29,720 {\an1}This week, it was the return of the raciest Regency drama on Netflix. 847 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:32,360 {\an1}Ooh, I'm buzzing Bridgerton's back on. 848 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,680 {\an1}I've been listening to mucky books lately. 849 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,040 {\an1}Have you, you dirty bitch? 850 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,080 {\an1}See if we get some naughty bits. 851 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,400 {\an1}Is that all you're watching it for? 852 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,760 {\an1}No! It's educational. 853 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,800 {\an1}Is... Is everything well, ma'am? 854 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,680 {\an1}Oh, everything is...perfect! 855 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,160 {\an1}It should be perfect. It would be perfect if... Where is Benedict? 856 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,960 {\an1}- Who's Benedict? - That's her other son. 857 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,520 {\an1}Three guesses where he is. 858 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,800 {\an1}- Probably shagging. Player. - Yeah. 859 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,720 {\an1}- Oh... - Ooh... 860 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:08,520 {\an1}- That butler knows exactly where Benedict is. - Exactly. - Yeah. 861 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,560 {\an1}Please fetch my carriage. 862 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,080 {\an1}Uh-oh. 863 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,520 {\an1}Is she gonna go and find him? 864 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,920 {\an1}That is a mother with purpose. 865 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,920 {\an1}- Ooh, she's on a mission, there, in't she? - Oh...! 866 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,720 {\an1}I've seen that walk before. 867 00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,160 {\an1}- From your mother? - Yeah. 868 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,160 {\an1}Move! 869 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,280 {\an1}- Here we go! - Oh, my God, what's she gonna find?! 870 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:33,720 {\an1}- Oh! - Oh, my gosh! - Oh! 871 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:35,600 {\an1}- Ooh-hoo-hoo! - What's she walked in on?! 872 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,760 {\an1}I don't know! 873 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,080 {\an1}It's a shithole! 874 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,720 {\an1}Benedict Bridgerton! 875 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:42,840 {\an1}Oh, my word! 876 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,280 {\an1}- Whoa! - Oh-ho-ho! 877 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:46,960 {\an1}It was best she just stayed out of the room. 878 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,600 {\an1}Yeah. What was she expecting? 879 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,920 {\an1}Draw back the curtains, it is time for my son to wake up. 880 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,920 {\an1}No, no, no, please, please, do not! 881 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,200 {\an1}GROANS 882 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,400 {\an1}THEY GASP 883 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,000 {\an1}- Oh, there's a...! - Oh, there's another one! 884 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,760 {\an1}He's had an orgy in there, Shirl. 885 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,120 {\an1}Fancy being caught by your mother like that. 886 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,040 {\an1}There's always a black sheep in the family, in't there? 887 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,800 {\an1}- Who's that, Jane? - Don't know. 888 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,160 {\an1}I've not seen this one before. Who is she? 889 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,800 {\an1}What you are asking me for, like I'd know?! 890 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,480 {\an1} I can do this. 891 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,800 {\an1}I can do this. 892 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,680 {\an1}She looks as if she's nervous to go in there.. 893 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,320 {\an1}I don't think she's used to this sort of thing. 894 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,640 {\an1}She's not giving swanky Bridgerton do, is she? 895 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,600 {\an1}There is a large group arriving. 896 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,480 {\an1}Just conceal yourself behind them. 897 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,360 {\an1}Just be out by midnight. 898 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,800 {\an1}- Oh, fucking... - Oh, she's Cinderella! - Fucking Cinderella! 899 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,080 {\an1}Oh, God! 900 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,600 {\an1}Out by midnight! 901 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,920 {\an1}What, is she gonna leave her glass slipper?! 902 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,240 {\an1}Good evening, ladies. 903 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,640 {\an1}- Here he is. - Oh, Benedict. - The man of the hour. 904 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:45,800 {\an1}Old Benedict. 905 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,560 {\an1}Oh, he's such a ladies' man! 906 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,200 {\an1}Mr Bridgerton, Mr Bridgerton! 907 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,400 {\an1}Over here! 908 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:54,720 {\an1}Hello. 909 00:36:54,720 --> 00:36:56,120 {\an1}Oh, look who he's spotted. 910 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,280 {\an1}The unknown. 911 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,600 {\an1}That glance across a crowded room, Shirl. 912 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:00,960 {\an1}I know. 913 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,800 {\an1}Pardon me, young lady. 914 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,840 {\an1}Could I trouble you for the next dance? 915 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,400 {\an1}Oh, no, missed your chance, Benedict! 916 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,320 {\an1}Oh, that is unlucky. 917 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,640 {\an1}- He's str... - Oh, he's in like Flynn. 918 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,320 {\an1}- Never seen him move so quick in my life! - No. 919 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:15,400 {\an1}Pardon me for interrupting, 920 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,720 {\an1}I have just found this young lady's dance card. 921 00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:20,480 {\an1}But unfortunately my name is next. 922 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,320 {\an1}- No, no! - Oh...! 923 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,080 {\an1}- Bingo. - Smooth mover. 924 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,920 {\an1}Oh, I am not looking for a husband. 925 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,280 {\an1}You're not? 926 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,840 {\an1}Oh, now she's talking his language! 927 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,600 {\an1}- That's gonna change, as well! - Yeah! 928 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,400 {\an1}"She's the woman for me!" 929 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,440 {\an1}Er, excuse me, I... I'm meant to be somewhere. 930 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:41,520 {\an1}Where's she going? 931 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:42,760 {\an1}Oh, is it midnight already? 932 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,040 {\an1}It can't be, she just got there. 933 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,320 {\an1}- Have you lost your chaperone? - No, she... 934 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,680 {\an1}Is it that we've met? 935 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:47,720 {\an1}No, I-I cannot dance. 936 00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:49,360 {\an1}Oh, she can't dance! 937 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,640 {\an1}Because she's not a lady! 938 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,400 {\an1}Oh, she's common as muck, Jenny. She's common as muck. 939 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,280 {\an1}A lady who cannot dance? 940 00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,000 {\an1}Huh! 941 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,560 {\an1}- His mind's blown! - Yeah! 942 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,080 {\an1}He's like, "Tick!" 943 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,480 {\an1}She's unladylike, tick! 944 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,440 {\an1}- She doesn't want a husband. - She doesn't want marriage. 945 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:07,520 {\an1} Tick! 946 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,400 {\an1}Later, in the garden, 947 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,920 {\an1}we saw Benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves. 948 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,680 {\an1}How gorgeous. 949 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,200 {\an1}He's being really sweet and romantic with her. 950 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,960 {\an1}What's he doing? 951 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,680 {\an1}- Ooh, he's taking her glove off! - What for? 952 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,440 {\an1}What's happening? 953 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,720 {\an1}Why's he smelling her? 954 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,520 {\an1}He's infatuated! 955 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,000 {\an1}"Mind out, I wanna... 956 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,840 {\an1}"I wanna get a good smell of this!" 957 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,520 {\an1}BELL CHIMES 958 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,080 {\an1}- Oh! - She's got to go. 959 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,040 {\an1}- Is it 12 o'clock yet? - Oh, the chimes! 960 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,880 {\an1}- SHE GASPS - Oh, here we go! 961 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:56,800 {\an1}Oh! 962 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,520 {\an1}That's very forward, isn't it, nutty? 963 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:02,920 {\an1}Wait! 964 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,920 {\an1}- She said, "You ain't gonna forget me, boy!" - Mm-hm! 965 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,880 {\an1}Who is this mystery woman? I'm dying to know! 966 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,160 {\an1}Oh, come on, take it off, tell us who you are! 967 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,880 {\an1}We're gonna get to see her face now! 968 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,680 {\an1}SHE GASPS 969 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,040 {\an1}- She's one of the maids! - She's a fricking maid. 970 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,040 {\an1}- Oh, Jane. - Mm! 971 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:31,840 {\an1}This is forbidden love. 972 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,920 {\an1}That were quite tame for Bridgerton. 973 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,400 {\an1}That's just getting us warmed up, that. It's not even started yet. 974 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,680 {\an1}- Just getting the juices flowing. - Yeah. 975 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,720 {\an1}In Hull... 976 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:45,720 {\an1}Hey, do you know, they listen in, you know, on these phones. 977 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,760 {\an1}- I know they do. - Do you know summat? 978 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:52,160 {\an1}- Yesterday, I was talking about potato waffles... - Oh, yeah? 979 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,640 {\an1}..and then I went on, and potato waffles started to come on my phone. 980 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,920 {\an1}- You're joking! - No, I swear. 981 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,240 {\an1}..best friends Jenny and Lee. 982 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:02,840 {\an1}- I did that with a barbecue. - What?! 983 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,760 {\an1}Because Ray was talking about getting a barbecue, 984 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:09,120 {\an1}and then the next minute, I was sat - it came up on my phone! 985 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,880 {\an1}So, they hear what you're saying. 986 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,720 {\an1}I... The next time I was sat there, 987 00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:16,560 {\an1}I said, "I want a six-foot man, hung like that." 988 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,080 {\an1}Send me some of them. 989 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,040 {\an1}And it still hasn't arrived? 990 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,680 {\an1}No! I'm still waiting for it. 991 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:26,280 {\an1}I need to talk to her more often, 992 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,560 {\an1}- I need to talk to her more often, don't I? - Yeah. 993 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,880 {\an1}- Six foot two, six foot two! - Yeah. 994 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,800 {\an1}Six foot two, dark hair. 995 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,080 {\an1}Don't want blond, dark hair. 996 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,320 {\an1}See what pops up. 997 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,680 {\an1}It will be Ray stood on a chair. 998 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,200 {\an1}On Monday night, 999 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:48,560 {\an1}Alan Carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on Channel 4. 1000 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,200 {\an1}- I've done an IQ test. - Yeah. 1001 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,480 {\an1}I did pretty well. 1002 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,000 {\an1}I got, like, 120 or something. 1003 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,400 {\an1}- I got 121, I think. - You're a liar! 1004 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,720 {\an1}- No, I'm not a liar. - You just picked one higher than me! 1005 00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:01,000 {\an1}No, I didn't! 1006 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,600 {\an1}I swear! I'm was sure it was 121! 1007 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,480 {\an1} Across the UK, 1008 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,200 {\an1}there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses. 1009 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,680 {\an1}Ooh! I wonder if I'm one of them. 1010 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,000 {\an1}- You could be a genius and not realise. - Yeah. 1011 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,320 {\an1}That's probably me. 1012 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,560 {\an1}That's me all over! 1013 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:22,680 {\an1}When I were a kid, 1014 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,560 {\an1}I used to know everybody's reg plate on t' estate where I lived. 1015 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,920 {\an1}- Oh, Michelle knows that! - She's a copper! 1016 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:32,280 {\an1}Each week, 12 people from different corners of the UK... 1017 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,680 {\an1}Complete the number sequence... 1018 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,320 {\an1}..have been invited to Genius HQ. 1019 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,440 {\an1}- OK. - Oh! 1020 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,040 {\an1}Genius HQ. 1021 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,760 {\an1}- I'd love to go to genius HQ. - Yeah! We're gonna send you in, darling. 1022 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,120 {\an1}- Please! - We're gonna line you up for this. - Get me in there! 1023 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,480 {\an1}Here, they'll compete in a series of mind-stretching games... 1024 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,440 {\an1}Where do we begin? 1025 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,840 {\an1}..designed with Mensa... 1026 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:54,440 {\an1}- Oh, God. - Mensa. 1027 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,840 {\an1}I've heard of Mensa. 1028 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,000 {\an1}..the society for the world's smartest people. 1029 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,960 {\an1}- I was told I wouldn't go far in life... - That's nasty. 1030 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,880 {\an1}- ..and I... - Who are these horrible people that taught you, please? 1031 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,440 {\an1}- Honestly. - Horrible bastards. 1032 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,280 {\an1}- Fuck yous all. - This is what I was told. 1033 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:10,520 {\an1}And you know what? 1034 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:11,960 {\an1}Actually, I wish I could say to them now, 1035 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,800 {\an1}"Er, hello, I work in the cheese factory!" 1036 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:19,520 {\an1}I'm proper smart, me. 1037 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,320 {\an1}- Oh, God... - Oh, jeez. 1038 00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,360 {\an1}I would be intrigued to know what my IQ was - 1039 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,200 {\an1}but would I? 1040 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,800 {\an1}- Cos if it's really low... - I don't wanna know. 1041 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,560 {\an1}- Don't wanna know. - Better off not knowing. 1042 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,400 {\an1}- Better off not knowing. - Better off burying your head in t' sand. 1043 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,760 {\an1}27-year-old Jess is the first player to face the final round. 1044 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:38,880 {\an1}Come on, Jess! 1045 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,440 {\an1}- Oh, Jessica's a real smart cookie. - Yeah. 1046 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,080 {\an1}Let's see how she does with this one. 1047 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,200 {\an1}- OK. - Right. 1048 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,200 {\an1}Memorise the details of this stack of Turkish delight. 1049 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,920 {\an1}Ooh, I love Turkish delight. 1050 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,480 {\an1}Turkish de-shite, more like. 1051 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,800 {\an1}I wouldn't eat that. 1052 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,760 {\an7}When you are ready, you must move on to the next room. 1053 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,280 {\an7}Your first question can be found on the jar. 1054 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:01,080 {\an1}OK... 1055 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,400 {\an1}I think I'd be looking at the colours, you know? 1056 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:04,880 {\an1}How they run, the sequence. 1057 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,680 {\an1}I'd just wanna eat the Turkish delight. 1058 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,000 {\an7}Select the jar that displays the number of cubes 1059 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,280 {\an7}in the Turkish delight tower! 1060 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:11,320 {\an1}How would you know that?! 1061 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,600 {\an1}How would you count them all, there? 1062 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,000 {\an7}This is about spatial reasoning. 1063 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,600 {\an1}Right, no, lost me. 1064 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,400 {\an1}How the bloody hell would you know that? 1065 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,840 {\an1}- I tell you what, it's quite hard, this, Soph. - It is. 1066 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,960 {\an7}I got a general vibe that it was definitely over 100. 1067 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:26,000 {\an1}- What?! - Yeah. 1068 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,800 {\an1}I'm gonna go 162. 1069 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,320 {\an1}Yeah, but there's no reasoning behind it. 1070 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,520 {\an1}Well... 1071 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,520 {\an1}I got so far, and I'm thinking, 1072 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,080 {\an1}yeah, there's a lot of Turkish delight there. 1073 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,680 {\an1}- Correct! - No way! 1074 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:45,560 {\an1}Bloody hell! 1075 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,040 {\an1}Damn, she's quick! 1076 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,960 {\an1}Well, I wasn't far out. 1077 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,760 {\an1}162. So, that's not bad. 1078 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,040 {\an1}Right, let's try the next one. 1079 00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,320 {\an1}Jelly... Ooh, jelly... 1080 00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,640 {\an1} Very good! 1081 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,240 {\an1}We're looking for a verbal sequence. 1082 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,040 {\an1}Jelly what? Jellybean... 1083 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:04,280 {\an1}Jelly... Jelly... 1084 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:05,400 {\an1}..wor... 1085 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,360 {\an1}- Jelly... - Jelly... 1086 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:08,880 {\an1}- ..wor... - ..wor... 1087 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,560 {\an1}..wor...worm... 1088 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,840 {\an1}- Jelly... - Jelly... Jelly worms! 1089 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,120 {\an1}What's that? 7 Becomes an L. 1090 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,840 {\an1}Oh, that's L. 1091 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,040 {\an1}It's like an L. 1092 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,720 {\an1}Oh, L... Lemon. 1093 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,800 {\an1}Lemon... 1094 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,080 {\an1}Lemon plop. 1095 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,880 {\an1}It is lemon plop! 1096 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,160 {\an1}Is it? 1097 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,800 {\an1}- Lemon drop, isn't it? - Drop! Lemon drop. 1098 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,120 {\an1}Lemon drop. 1099 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:38,440 {\an1}I like that. 1100 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,520 {\an1}Huh?! 1101 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,840 {\an1}Lemon drop! Not lemon plop, it's lemon drop! 1102 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,840 {\an1}What am I? Squirrel... 1103 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,640 {\an1}OK... Have you got it? 1104 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,000 {\an1}No. 1105 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,080 {\an1}Is it word, word, and then you have to add the OIC 1106 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,040 {\an1}- to make a new word? - Mm. 1107 00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,000 {\an1}That is the trickiest question. 1108 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,800 {\an1}Can I look at the sweets? 1109 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,600 {\an1}How can there be an answer out of this?! 1110 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,680 {\an1}Is it liquorice? 1111 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,080 {\an1}It's not liquorice, there's no... There's no H! 1112 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,040 {\an1}There's no H in liquorice, you dickhead. 1113 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,280 {\an1}Yeah, liquor-ish. 1114 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,200 {\an1}Yes! Wow. 1115 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:21,800 {\an1}Liquorice?! 1116 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,120 {\an1}Well, what's liquorice got to do with a squirrel? 1117 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,720 {\an1}Well done. 1118 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:27,640 {\an1}That was amazing verbal reasoning. 1119 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,960 {\an1}- Well done, Jess! - She was amazing. 1120 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,760 {\an1}I can't believe it! I actually can't believe I've done it! 1121 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,280 {\an1}- That's... I'm impressed, there. - Well...! - I'll give you that. 1122 00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:37,920 {\an1}I'm smart. 1123 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,800 {\an1}- I don't know about that. - I'm not... 1124 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,320 {\an1}Listen, remember the paddling pool? 1125 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,640 {\an1}- Do you remember the paddling pool? - Yeah. 1126 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,920 {\an1}And it said fill it with water. 1127 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,680 {\an1}- Yeah? - Uh-huh. 1128 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,680 {\an1}You filled the bit you blow up with air with water. 1129 00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,720 {\an1}And then we couldn't get it up, 1130 00:45:59,720 --> 00:46:02,960 {\an1}because now the inflatable bit was full of water. 1131 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,680 {\an1}- Do you remember that, Shaun?! - Yeah. 1132 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,320 {\an1}And you're telling us you're a fucking secret genius? 1133 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,040 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1134 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,120 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1135 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,640 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1136 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,040 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1137 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:26,360 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1138 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,880 {\an1}# Singing 1139 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:30,800 {\an1}# Ah-ah! 1140 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,880 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1141 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,360 {\an1}# In a perfect world 1142 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:44,080 {\an1}# In a perfect, perfect world. # 1143 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,080 {\an1}Subtitles by Red Bee Media