1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,839 There's a spider on the butter. What is it? 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:09,239 Spider on the butter. Oh! Not stuck into it by its legs? No. 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,719 You mean it's just walked across the butter? 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,559 I've dealt with it in a humane way, Mary, 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,519 by putting it into the plate drawer. 6 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,079 ♪ In a perfect world... ♪ 7 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,479 SHE SQUEALS 8 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,879 Oh! Oh! 9 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,719 Have you ever done owt like that? Well, I an't telling you if I had. 10 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,519 ♪ Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba... ♪ 11 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,839 Oh! Barcelona. Barcelona. 12 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,519 DOG SNEEZES Ugh! 13 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:30,919 No, I don't like that this guy's 14 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,599 trying to tell me how to eat my dinner. 15 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,919 A what? Foot fetish! 16 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,279 I had no idea that was a thing. 17 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:37,999 "Remove my breeches. 18 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,879 "Expose your loins." I like that. 19 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,399 Oh! Oh! THEY LAUGH 20 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,479 Oh, Ronnie. This is weird. 21 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,799 Oh, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he? 22 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:47,999 This is why I don't date. 23 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,439 Now that is dicing with the devil. Oh, no. 24 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,759 He suffers for his art, doesn't he? Clearly. 25 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,239 A Bentley Continental?! 26 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,799 I think I'd rather call it a day, Nutty, wouldn't you? 27 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,759 ♪ Who's been arrested now? 28 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,159 ♪ And for what? ♪ 29 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:07,479 In the week we said a sad farewell to MAFS dating coach Mel Schilling, 30 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,879 we enjoyed lots of great telly. 31 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,239 Famous faces were getting their hands dirty in the big white tent. 32 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,239 I'm going to be honest with you. 33 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,159 I'm not really a pastry girl in that sense. Never made it. 34 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,919 It just seems like a lot of work. 35 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,599 So I was told once in domestic science at school, 36 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,319 if you're making pastry... Yeah. 37 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,679 I was told you should run your wrists under cold water 38 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,399 and they cool your blood. 39 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,679 And then when you're rubbing in, your hands are... 40 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,279 Darling, throw it in the Magimix. 41 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,999 THEY LAUGH 42 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:44,039 More furry friends were finding their forever homes on Channel 4. 43 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,239 It is very, very difficult, but there's no alternative for us. 44 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,719 He needs someone that can just give him the love 45 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,439 that we've given him and we will miss him. 46 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:56,839 Madge jumps from the floor to the kitchen worktops 47 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,600 and like, goes inside the air fryers. 48 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,719 She knows how to open the air-fryer drawers and go inside. 49 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,719 Is it extreme intelligence or is it extremely bad behaviour? 50 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,479 I don't know. Do you know that I once, I were cooking t'other week, 51 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,879 I were cooking a jacket potato in t'air fryer. 52 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,639 I hear this crash, bang, wallop, come downstairs. 53 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,399 The air-fryer drawers are open 54 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,200 and my jacket potatoes are on the floor. 55 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,560 And there was something new giving us a fright on Netflix. 56 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,400 That is something very bad about to happen. 57 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,159 What, the fact that she's getting married? 58 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,319 Something very bad is going to happen. 59 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,679 Andre! What? Why are you saying that about our wedding day? 60 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,639 That sounds mean. 61 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,240 I wish someone had told me before it. 62 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,759 In Blackpool... 63 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,639 Me and Paige have had to start putting locks on the cupboards. 64 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:07,599 Really? The kids now, they just help theirselves to everything. 65 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,999 They're like locusts. They just strip the cupboards. 66 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,599 ...Pete and his little sister, Sophie. 67 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,599 Paige went out the other day and I had Eva and Jimmy, right? 68 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,919 Next thing, Eva just walks in the living room 69 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,759 with a packet of wine gums going... 70 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,599 HE CHEWS LOUDLY 71 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,199 "Do you want a wine gum?" 72 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,719 I'm like, "No, you shouldn't be eating them." 73 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,079 "Do you want a wine gum?" You know, what are you? 74 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,039 A 60-year-old man who's on a long drive? 75 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,960 Who even eats wine gums? 76 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,119 That's a gateway for, like, a Werther's Original. Yeah, yeah. 77 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,479 Jimmy - mini rolls. Sucker for a mini roll. 78 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,479 Like a moth to a flame. Yeah. He had three yesterday. 79 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,759 I went, "That is your third." Yeah. 80 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,280 He's like, "Sorry." 81 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,959 On Saturday night, there were more BGT hopefuls 82 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,920 doing their thing on ITV 1. 83 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,879 Saturday night and we're eating carrots. 84 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,799 Carrot. Carrot and water, Simon. 85 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,199 It's the new way forward. 86 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,639 I wonder what talent we're going to unleash today. 87 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,200 Who knows? It could be anything, couldn't it, with Beeg. 88 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,839 BGT is just an old favourite. 89 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,319 How long has it been around? 90 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,919 At least 40 years. 91 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,559 Longer. At least. 92 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,800 Good luck, good luck, good luck. 93 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,399 What are these seven 94 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,959 silky white-suited specimens doing on our stage? 95 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,319 I'm going to put a wager on the fact 96 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,719 that I'll give it 15 seconds before someone's shirtless. 97 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,279 There'll be no tops on shortly. 98 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:35,679 What's the name of the group? 99 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,399 We are Agua Company. We are salsa dancers. 100 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,679 Salsa dancers! 101 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,919 That's not a talent, though. 102 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,599 My gran and grandad used to go to a salsa every week. 103 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,599 Dad, you're into salsa, aren't you? 104 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,960 No. No, the dip. 105 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:53,439 We hope we can bring our energy and our enjoyment to you, 106 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,239 you special judges. 107 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,359 Oh, don't worry, I'm already enjoyed, love. I know. 108 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,119 Oh, darling, it's like a line-up of your exes. That's so rude. 109 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,000 But actually, you're right. It is. 110 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,919 The way he's moving his chest! Oh, my God. 111 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,999 I love a man who can dance salsa. Throw me around. 112 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,439 You'll never forget being thrown around by that man 113 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,400 from the Sheffield Salsa Society, will you? No, I loved it. 114 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,999 Oh, they love it, they love it, these lads, 115 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,720 If they were choccy, they'd eat theirselves. Course they would. 116 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,919 It's the tongue. Did you see the tongue? 117 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,399 Come on, get 'em off, man! 118 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,280 Christ, they're a bloody dance act, not a strip show, man. 119 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,199 OK. You all right? Yeah. It's getting a bit raunchy. 120 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,639 Oh, yes. I like all that. 121 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,800 Oh, the quicker they get their tops off, the better for you. 122 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,359 Which one's your favourite? 123 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,640 I like him who keeps sticking his tongue out. 124 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,439 You can calm down. I know they're all your type... 125 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,839 No, no. They're all your type, 126 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,160 but you can calm it down. They're not. Only four are. 127 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,879 THEY MIMIC SONG 128 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,199 It's a different kind of salsa, isn't it? 129 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,799 It's, well... Stripper salsa. 130 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,519 As long as they don't take their trousers down, 131 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,960 I'll be quite happy, Mary, to get through this. 132 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,999 Obviously well waxed, aren't they? They are. 133 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,239 They're well manicured, those boys. 134 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,239 I bet they're fun to go out for a night with. 135 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,279 I think we'd have a really good evening with them. 136 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,599 I'd probably leave about midnight and you would carry on. 137 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,480 I'd want you to leave much before midnight. 138 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,879 In Surrey... Mum! It's so cool. 139 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,279 What made you go on to the website and decide, 140 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,159 "Yep, I want that cardigan," 141 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,679 out of all of the cardigans on the website? 142 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,679 ...Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Chee. 143 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,519 Well, this is not going back. I quite like it. 144 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,199 It's one of my favourites now. 145 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,799 I don't think it can be sent back 146 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,080 because nobody else is going to buy it. I mean, um... 147 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:21,079 How dare you? How dare you question my taste? 148 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,079 Unreturnable. 149 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,279 On Sunday night we were cooking under canvas again 150 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,639 with the VIPs on Channel 4. 151 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,959 ♪ B-B-B-Bake Off B-B-B-Bake Off... ♪ Oh, for God's sake. 152 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,879 You're so obsessed. I love the programme, 153 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,239 but you're obsessed with it. I'm so obsessed. 154 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,079 I find that even if I'm cooking something 155 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,439 and I do actually follow instructions, 156 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,279 it's still either burnt, soggy, or cold. 157 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,320 Oh. 158 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,200 Oh, I'd love to get my lips around that. 159 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,479 Oof... 160 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,279 OK, so today the judges would love you 161 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,879 to make eight delicious breakfast pastries. 162 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,719 Ooh, lovely. Hey, listen, I've seen it on our credit card statement 163 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,359 that you've been having a lot of almond croissants recently. 164 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,839 I've now found a new one. 165 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,879 Almond croissant with chocolate inside. 166 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,399 OK. And you wonder why we're not losing weight. 167 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,839 Your pastries need to have a delicious filling, 168 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,199 which can be either savoury or sweet. 169 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,119 Oh, you could have a savoury filling. Oh, no. 170 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,919 Don't waste this opportunity on savoury. 171 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:24,319 I've never had a croissant. Haven't you? No. Oh, they're nice. 172 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,239 I thought croissants were for fucking posh people. Well, they are. 173 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,039 Well, they aren't now. They used to be. And I've never had one. 174 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,319 Despite failing to impress Paul last time he was in the tent... 175 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,959 I tried really hard on that. That's the worst thing. 176 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,559 ...Jon's once again going entirely plant-based. 177 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,719 I've never had anything vegan. Apart from an apple. 178 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,519 Luckily, we've got no vegans in our family. No. 179 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,599 Morning, Jon. Hello there. Can I ask what you're making today? 180 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,079 Cheese twists. 181 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,599 Oh, like a cheese twist. Oh, Non... 182 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,439 I've got some of those at home, which Nona's made me. Mm, nice. 183 00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,359 Over Asda's they've they got 'em. They're bloody gorgeous. 184 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,559 Have you seen themm with the bacon in as well? Mm. 185 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:07,239 What cheese are you using? Vegan. What is vegan cheese? 186 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,039 Probably cashew nuts or something. Ugh. 187 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,359 Do you know what? I've actually had vegan cheese 188 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,919 and it were bloody awful. 189 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,599 Yeah. Smelled like Paige's feet. 190 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,199 How long have you been vegan? Well... 191 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,959 Look at the disappointment. 192 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,119 I was the third vegan, I think, seven years ago, on the planet. 193 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,559 And now there's loads of us. 194 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,879 So you have to be nice to us now because we're an army. 195 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,839 I've tried a bit of Quorn. 196 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,159 Quorn Scotch egg. I like them. 197 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,199 Mum did a Quorn bolognese once and it were bloody awful. 198 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,559 But I think that's probably cos it's mum's cooking, 199 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,119 not necessarily the Quorn. 200 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,959 If you're going to be vegan, just be vegan. 201 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,159 Don't be ramming it down everybody's throat trying to educate. 202 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,159 Well, that's what you've got to do with vegan food, isn't it? 203 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,359 Ram it down people's throats, 204 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,239 because they won't eat it willingly, will they? 205 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,439 That absolutely stinks. What is it? It's fakon. 206 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,799 Vegan bacon, also known as fakon. 207 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,239 Is it tofu? 208 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,919 Tofu? Nah, I don't think so. 209 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,759 Oh, I can twist. Looks all right now, doesn't it? 210 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,479 It does, actually, Jon. It looks very good. 211 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,399 It smells over here, though. Why does it smell? 212 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,759 Something smells of damp. 213 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,399 Damp?! 214 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,799 Oh, no! 215 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,119 They're taking the mick out of him being a vegan. 216 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,799 It'll be his bloody vegan twists. 217 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,159 Have you been vegan all your life? No. 218 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,479 All his stuff's falling out of his twists. 219 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,119 Oh, my God. 220 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,719 It's looking a bit funky in there. 221 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,119 They look unreal. They look a mess. The cheese has come out. 222 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,079 I wouldn't eat it. I'm not even vegan. 223 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,239 I only did it to piss Paul off. 224 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,519 They look a bit pale. 225 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,879 The problem is that there's no egg wash 226 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,679 or even milk wash on the top of 'em... No. 227 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,319 ...so they're lacking somewhat in colour. 228 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:42,719 Can you get vegan eggs? Vegan eggs? How can you get vegan eggs? 229 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,479 Well, how can you get vegan cheese and bacon? 230 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,519 Because men make vegan cheese. You don't get chickens, 231 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,439 say, "Oh, can you lay a vegan egg?" 232 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,039 It's now time for the bakers' breakfast pastries 233 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,919 to face the judgment of Paul and Cherry. 234 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,599 Oh, they look nice. They look good. 235 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,119 Is that a sausage roll? I don't know what the hell it is. 236 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,440 I think I once paid £18 for that in Gail's. Yeah. 237 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,439 Mm. Happy with them? 238 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,759 Are you happy with them, Paul? 239 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,079 Don't, don't... Don't turn this around on me. 240 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,399 Paul's fuming already. 241 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,799 It just doesn't look very attractive. 242 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,759 Yeah, sometimes vegan food doesn't look attractive, though. 243 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,080 You just have to eat it. 244 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,960 Did it crunch? 245 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,319 Interesting flavour. 246 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,999 "Interesting." What does that mean in reality? 247 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,960 When somebody says interesting, they usually mean shit. 248 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,959 I'm so sorry. Do you like it? 249 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,840 "I'm so sorry"! 250 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,239 Not what you want to be saying! 251 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,960 I mean, I ate one, and now I feel physically sick. 252 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,719 Don't get high off your own supply, Jon. 253 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,359 I made that tarte tatin the other day, didn't I? 254 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,719 That was lovely. Yeah. 255 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,599 Very rustic-looking, but lovely. 256 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,519 What do you mean, rustic-looking? 257 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,119 Ah, you put the crust of your pastry, 258 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,479 your pasty, out for that pigeon, didn't you? 259 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,480 Yeah. Well, aye. Have you seen him since? 260 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,159 Are you trying to say I've killed the pigeon, you? 261 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,519 Well, I'm just saying, have you seen him since? 262 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,440 Because he always used to be on the fence. 263 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,519 In Hull... 264 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,159 Last night, I said to Ray, "What do you want for your tea?" 265 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,519 Ray said, "Oh, can we have fishcakes? 266 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,079 "We hadn't had them for ages." So you made them? 267 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,119 So I made them. So I got the fish and I made them. 268 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,759 ...best friends Jenny and Lee. 269 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,159 Lee, at 11.00, I could still smell the fish. 270 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,799 I'd been round with disinfectant. 271 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,679 It stunk the chalet out. 272 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,039 I said to him this morning, "We're not having any more." 273 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,999 To be fair, I weren't going to say nowt today. 274 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,839 Do I smell of fish? 275 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,559 It's from them bleeding fishcakes! 276 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,759 Oh, Lee, it was awful. 277 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,119 I weren't going to say nowt, but I'm just glad you've said 278 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,959 you've had fishcakes last night. Yeah. It stunk. 279 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,999 On Saturday night, something big from across the pond 280 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,839 had found its way onto Sky. 281 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,919 Pedders, look. What? SNL. It's come from America. 282 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,279 Brought us a couple of American party cups. 283 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,119 What we need is a laugh, Giles. Yeah. 284 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,439 Not more gloom-mongering from people like you. 285 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,999 We need cheering up. 286 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,399 It's Saturday Night Live. 287 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,399 Saturday Night Live! 288 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,639 Oh, I hope it's good. 289 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,479 Oh, I know. I hope it's good. 290 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,800 {\an8}And your host, Tina Fey! 291 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,239 Yes! 292 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,799 Don't know who you are, but yes! 293 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,159 Tina Fey. Oh, Tina Fey. Yes, I know Tina Fey. 294 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,599 My name is Tina Fey. 295 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,559 Here in the UK... CHEERING 296 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,879 Well, they all know her, don't they? Yeah. 297 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,279 She's like the queen of SNL. 298 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,159 No-one better to come and start the show. 299 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,559 Tina Fey is not from the UK. Tina Fey... Well, she's allowed. 300 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,239 Bloody hell. 301 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,879 Here in the UK, you might know me as the teacher from Mean Girls. 302 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,319 CHEERING 303 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,039 Oh, I never watched that. No. 304 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,359 Yeah! She was the teacher. in Mean Girls! Yeah. 305 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,199 So why do a UK version of SNL? 306 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,999 We were asking the same thing, Tina. 307 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:13,359 Well, like so many large-scale American operations these days, 308 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,680 no-one really knows why. 309 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,399 Ah, that's a joke, Mary. Mm. Did you get it? Yes. 310 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,639 That's a knock at the war. 311 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,759 You see, they keep things political and current as well. OK. 312 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,119 And I'm so excited for you to meet your cast. 313 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,439 They are wonderful. I can't even begin to 314 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,680 understand them when they speak. 315 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,559 Ha-ha! Because she's American and they're British. 316 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,159 Yeah, all right, Baasit. 317 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,839 I'm just here as a long-time SNL employee 318 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,839 to help out and to answer any questions anyone might have 319 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,319 about what to expect. 320 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,600 Oh, hi. Yeah, Nicola Coughlan. Hi. CHEERING 321 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,399 She's from Derry Girls, this girl. 322 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,479 She was also in Bridgerton. 323 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,959 She's famous for Derry Girls. 324 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,879 She's famous for Bridgerton. Who watches Bridgerton? I do. 325 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:03,279 My question is, if this is SNL UK, then why are you the first host? 326 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,679 Good question. 327 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,479 How do I put this politely? 328 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,440 None of you fuckers would do it. 329 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,879 Well, I don't know. There'd be plenty who'd do it. 330 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,839 One of the lads of Blue would be up there. 331 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,159 Fucking right they would. Duncan would be all over this. 332 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,559 Course he would. 333 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,039 We have time for one more. 334 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,519 Oh, yes. Graham Norton. 335 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,959 CHEERING 336 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,159 Oh! 337 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,159 Ah! Where have they dragged Graham...? 338 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,959 What the fuck has he got on? 339 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,119 Let me help you. 340 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,359 LAUGHTER 341 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,959 Let ME help YOU. 342 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,919 I have a gift for making American celebrities likeable 343 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,160 to a British audience. 344 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,319 He does, he does. 345 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,679 Hey, I hear you have a really funny story 346 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,279 about watching British television as a young child. 347 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,959 Oh, well, yes, actually, um, growing up, 348 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,039 we thought that anything British was educational. 349 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,639 So my parents showed us all British shows, 350 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,039 and we used to watch Benny Hill as a family. 351 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,679 What's Benny Hill? 352 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,519 That... HE HUMS "YAKETY SAX" 353 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,599 I think. 354 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,799 What about Ab Fab? 355 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,319 Oh, sweetie, darling, you're just a little shop girl, darling. 356 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,479 Keeping Up Appearances? 357 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,759 Richard! 358 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,639 Jesus! She's quick. 359 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,999 Monty Python? 360 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,639 That is an ex-parrot. 361 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,999 I think we're a bit young for this. Yeah. 362 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,599 I remember everyone she said. Yeah. 363 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,079 Fawlty Towers. Nobody mention the war! 364 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,280 Little Britain. 365 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,999 Do you really want me to do that one? 366 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,199 Are You Being Served? 367 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,119 My pussy is like an alarm clock. 368 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,039 LAUGHTER 369 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,399 She's actually quite funny, isn't she? 370 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,119 HE CHUCKLES 371 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,439 I love that. Mrs Slocombe. 372 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,599 HE WHOOSHES Yeah. 373 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,919 Oh, that's how you win a crowd over! 374 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,559 They're all yours now, Tina. All yours. Oh, thank you! 375 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,879 We've got a great show. Wet Leg is here. 376 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,439 Stick around and watch this. 377 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,119 CHEERING 378 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,119 Wow. Long intro. That's some intro, innit? 379 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,839 Do you know what? I'm going to be honest. 380 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,439 I thought it were going to be shite, but it's actually spot on. 381 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,799 Brilliant, isn't it? Yeah. 382 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,319 Should we have laughed, like? 383 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,600 Huh? Should we have laughed? 384 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,319 I don't think it's mandatory, 385 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,679 but I think that's the essence of the show. 386 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,840 Oh, right. 387 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,519 In Wiltshire... 388 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,439 Oh! Right. Oh! 389 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,759 SQUELCHING 390 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,119 That's repulsive. Oh, what's that terrible noise? 391 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:32,079 This is the worst one. Oh! What's that terrible noise, Mary? 392 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,479 Are you having a...? I'm throwing your horrible anoraks down. 393 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,679 Oh, Mary! 394 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,999 ...Giles and his wife Mary. 395 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:42,399 What on earth have you left anoraks upstairs for? 396 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,959 Mary, there's no reason to disrespect the anoraks. 397 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,639 I'm just... Will you please hang them up on the door 398 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,119 instead of leaving them up there? What were they doing up there, Mary? 399 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:54,079 Well, you go up absent-mindedly taking them off. 400 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,439 But I like them. They're a statement of identity. 401 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,439 Sorry, Nutty. You mustn't bring them upstairs to the bedroom. 402 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,319 That's my camouflage anorak. I haven't seen that for ages. 403 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,679 That makes me virtually invisible. 404 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:08,319 On Friday, it was troubling news close to home 405 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,039 hitting the headlines on the BBC. 406 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,600 Oh, very nice. Sandwiches! 407 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,239 Corned beef. Oh, I love corned beef. 408 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,919 I've cut all the crusts off. Everything. 409 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,399 Oh, thank you. Thank you. Have you got any piccalilli? 410 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,679 I'm sweating my tits off. What, for cutting the crust off? 411 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,879 LEE SIGHS 412 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,520 DOG FARTS 413 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,519 Bloody hell. Cookie! 414 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,359 You may have noticed, if you've started buying Easter eggs 415 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,239 this year, that you're paying more for less. 416 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,239 Finally, a news I have an opinion about. 417 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,599 We never got Easter eggs at Christmas... Er, Christmas! 418 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,519 Well, you wouldn't get Easter eggs at Christmas, would you, Lee? 419 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,959 We never neither. 420 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,879 According to the consumer group "Which?", 421 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,199 the traditional chocolate treats are being hit by shrinkflation, 422 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,399 with prices going up, 423 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,919 while products definitely seem to be getting smaller. 424 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,279 Oh, yeah, you can't get a thick egg any more. 425 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,599 Do you know loads of people are talking about this around the park? 426 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,679 Are they? Yeah, we was chatting about it only yesterday. 427 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:11,079 It's true. I thought I'd been going mad over the last few years. 428 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,319 I thought, "Is it just that my hands are grown-up size now, 429 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,399 "or have Easter eggs got smaller? 430 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,559 The consumer group "Which?" has been taking a look at Easter eggs 431 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,919 across a number of the big supermarkets. 432 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,479 It found that, with some chocolate eggs, we are paying more for less. 433 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,919 Jesus would fucking close the cave door if he heard this shit. 434 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:33,559 I mean, it's just as well we've got "Which?", really, isn't it? 435 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,959 Because if we didn't have "Which?", we wouldn't know all this. 436 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,319 Take, for example, the extra large Galaxy egg. 437 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,599 It would have set you back around £5 last year 438 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,919 for about 250g of chocolate. 439 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,039 40g down and a pound up. That's what I'm seeing there. Disgusting. 440 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,919 Oh, my God. You bastards. That's scum, that is. 441 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,919 That's a different level of scum 442 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,959 This year, it's nearly a pound more for a lighter version. 443 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,399 We're getting hit in every angle. 444 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,799 Even the Easter Bunny's wearing a mask and a striped jumper now. 445 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,199 Yeah. Disgusting. 446 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,399 And with the Cadbury Mini Eggs milk chocolate egg, 447 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,759 again, it's price up but weight down. 448 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,599 Not the Mini Eggs! I know, I know. 449 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,919 Mini Eggs are already mini. 450 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,519 Exactly. They're like mini mini now. Yeah. Mini Mini Eggs. 451 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,879 The inflation on chocolate is considerably higher 452 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,679 than other grocery items, and consumers are noticing that. 453 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,079 You'd want to go out with Lisa who's a consumer expert round the shop, 454 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,800 wouldn't you? She'd be like, "Put that down. 455 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,199 "Don't have that." 456 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:37,759 And this does seem to be a bit of a trend in the chocolate aisle. 457 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,679 We know about shrinkflation. We know about skimpflation. 458 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,839 They've stopped saying now, "Would you give somebody your last Rolo?" 459 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,639 Because you wouldn't, would you, now? 460 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,839 "Do you know how much this cost?" 461 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,359 Yeah. I want to save it for myself. 462 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,279 Is it making us healthier, though? 463 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,799 Don't start that. No? Don't give him a scapegoat. 464 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,239 Yeah. If you're buying an Easter egg, 465 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,759 you're not doing it to track your calories, are you? 466 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,079 No, it's... Yeah. No-one's putting an Easter egg in MyFitnessPal. 467 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,519 Manufacturers have faced tough choices. 468 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,959 Some have cut the amount of cocoa they're using. 469 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,319 You can tell, because it doesn't taste t'same, does it? 470 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,239 So they're probably cutting a bit of cost with less cocoa 471 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,799 and still charging the same while shrinking stuff. 472 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,559 I've never seen you so angry. 473 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,840 I don't like the economy right now, Callum. 474 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,159 Take these examples. 475 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,239 They can actually no longer officially be called chocolate 476 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,199 because they don't have enough cocoa in them. 477 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,360 What? Penguins? 478 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,399 I love Penguins. I know you do. Calm down. 479 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,079 It's gone from a P-P-P-Penguin to a P-P-P-pisstake. 480 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,719 It's not only big brands affected by this. 481 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,079 Smaller independent businesses are too. 482 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,439 Other people have alcohol and cigarettes. 483 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,839 I do feel I want 400 calories of chocolate per day, 484 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,199 because life's unmanageable without it. Yeah. 485 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,879 So I treated myself to a bag of Mini Eggs. 486 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,239 Jesus Christ, I'm still paying them off. 487 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,479 Yeah. "Can you take Klarna for this Easter egg, please?" 488 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,240 "Can I Klarna these Mini Eggs, please?" 489 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,719 In North London... 490 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,559 So there's many things I'm going to start doing this week, 491 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,359 you know, because I've got the keto diet 492 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,839 I'm starting on Monday. 493 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,159 People are all going on diets, like. Is it? 494 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,719 I might as well join as well. 495 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,119 Who else is going to diet? 496 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,599 Mum says she's gonna do some sort of challenge with you. 497 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,479 She wants to see who's going to lose more weight 498 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,919 between you and her. What?! 499 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,719 ...sisters Amira and Amani. 500 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,079 Yeah, that's what she was telling me yesterday. That is messed up. 501 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,519 Yeah. She goes, "I'm gonna go on a challenge with Amira." 502 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,159 Like, "I'm going to see if I can do better than her." 503 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,279 That's what she was telling me. 504 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,679 My own mum won't even let me be my skinny legend self. 505 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:44,079 What, she's gonna lose weight faster than you? 506 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,079 That's gonna be so funny. It's a good thing you told me, 507 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,399 because I feel like that motivated me even more 508 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,639 to beat Mum at her own game. 509 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,519 Go ahead. 510 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,159 That has just fuelled me to the next level. 511 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,439 On Saturday, 512 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,119 there were some naughty celebs up to no good on ITV. 513 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,519 What's going on with till? What's wrong with her? 514 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:02,800 Oh... 515 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,119 Oh! 516 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,039 I hope you're not bringing spooks back in the house, look at Till. 517 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,399 Remember when we were younger, you used to pull bare pranks on me, 518 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,439 do you remember? When I used to be gullible. 519 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,239 Yeah, do you remember? 520 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,719 This sprawling estate is the home of six brand-new TV shows. 521 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,959 I love that venue, wherever that is. Beautiful. 522 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,639 Hypothetical wedding. 523 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,040 Welcome to Couple Goals. 524 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,119 Welcome to The Applicant. 525 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,559 I'm confused already. 526 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:37,719 But what none of them know is that all of these shows are totally fake. 527 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,239 Sneaky. 528 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,159 But the contestants are a bit daft, aren't they, going on a fake show? 529 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,439 They don't know it's fake. 530 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,039 That's because hidden in the basement is Mission HQ. 531 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,919 Hold up. What? There's a whole new level now. 532 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,120 Home to an elite team of celebrity saboteurs. 533 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,519 My head is absolutely spinning with what this could be about. 534 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,839 I think I might have to write this down. 535 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,719 Tonight, the celebrities take on 536 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,239 their very first fake show, The Applicant. 537 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,559 Bit of an apprentice feel. Think so. 538 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,199 The Applicant, is that a show? 539 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,879 That's a fake show. 540 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,199 Welcome to The Applicant. 541 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,639 Over the next two days, 542 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,199 you will be competing in a series of tasks to test 543 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,679 if you can thrive in the competitive world of business. 544 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,119 So these are the contestants 545 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,159 that think they're going onto a real show. 546 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,079 Team Blue Vision, you will be hosting 547 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,479 a wellness and yoga away day. 548 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,799 Corporate away day, team building exercise. 549 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,199 Kill me now. 550 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,319 So we would be required to make a home made rejuvenating face mask 551 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,679 for the guests. 552 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,039 So we're going to say this one includes matcha. 553 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,599 They'll put matcha in fucking anything. 554 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,079 Honestly, I'll wait till they start putting it on chips or something. 555 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,519 Mission alert. 556 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,839 Here we go. What are they going to do? 557 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,479 Joel, disguised as an armchair... 558 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,519 What? An armchair? 559 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,319 That's quite something. Yeah. 560 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,119 Have you ever disguised yourself as an armchair? 561 00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,759 I've disguised myself as a hat, but not as an armchair. 562 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,119 {\an8}You must ruin the face mask mix 563 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:06,120 {\an8}by adding too much green powder so it stains the client's skin. 564 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,079 No! 565 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,999 Geez. How are you going to do that? 566 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,879 Joel, we can see you. You look amazing. 567 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,519 Oh, that's an armchair, Mary. That's funny. 568 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,320 Oh! He's in. He's landed. 569 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,639 He actually does look like a chair now. 570 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,119 He does. That's so clever. 571 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:30,400 Joel! Keep Blue Vision moving. They're on the move. 572 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,279 That is spot on. That's brilliant. 573 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,599 You're not really gonna think 574 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,559 someone's a fucking fake armchair, are you? 575 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,279 Shall we go and see how Emma's getting on with the yoga? 576 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,679 Let's get it. Let's do it. Let's go. 577 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,000 This is his moment. 578 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,000 There he is. Go on, Joel! 579 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,440 It is childish, isn't it? 580 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,679 You're going to need to add some water. 581 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,999 Oh. That's so much. 582 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,519 I don't think we need to overthink it. 583 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:57,639 It'll be fine. 584 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,399 Oh, he's gone even more. He's put the full lot in. 585 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,879 Well, go hard or go home. 586 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,279 Do you mind if I put this face mask on your face? 587 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,679 Oh, here we go. This is going to be so awful. 588 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,160 Only the best and most premium products... 589 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,199 ...for our guests at the Blue Vision retreat. 590 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,279 That is so green. 591 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,159 Look how relaxed they look. 592 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,960 Little do they know that when they finish, they'll look like the Hulk. 593 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:25,079 Does this have magic ingredients in it? 594 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,599 It does. It sure does. 595 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,639 OK, ladies, it's time to remove your masks. 596 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,799 Oh, good luck. 597 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,440 Oh! 598 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,039 Bring it on. 599 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,679 Oh, no. It's not going to... 600 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,159 It's not going to stain our face, is it? 601 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,519 Yes, it will. 602 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,919 Oh! 603 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,920 That's rank. I look like Shrek. 604 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,359 You do look like Shrek, lady. 605 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,919 If you just scrub gently, just in circular motions, 606 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,079 it will come off. 607 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,080 No, it's not, Emma. 608 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,279 Oh, she looks like Kermit the Frog. 609 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,319 Oh! She's making it wet. 610 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,639 I feel like they put too much of a certain ingredient 611 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,839 in the face mask. 612 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,480 That's it. Blame somebody else. He always does. 613 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,519 Well, that's a very silly programme, Nutty. 614 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,639 Very silly. 615 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,999 But it did make us laugh once or twice. 616 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,799 Once or twice will be enough. In spite of our serious selves. 617 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,959 You once tried to say that I'd sabotaged you 618 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,359 by putting chewing gum in your hair the night before prom. 619 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,319 You fucking did. No, I didn't. What happened was is 620 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,519 we were fighting, I had chewing gum in my mouth and then I said, 621 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,039 "Time out. I've lost my chewing gum." 622 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,439 And you said, "I hope it's in your hair." 623 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,759 You turned around to walk away, and lo and behold, 624 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,599 it was in the back of your hair. 625 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,239 You spat it in my hair 626 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,839 and I had to freeze it out the night before prom. 627 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,360 Disgusting behaviour. 628 00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,800 Mum's on about cutting it out, I said absolutely not. 629 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,079 In Derby... 630 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,719 So I went to the barber's, and when I was walking past 631 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,079 I saw a sign and it said that we now do like nose waxing. 632 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,359 ...the Siddiquis. 633 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,039 Oh, it's an experience. 634 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,399 So they get this thing, yeah, they get the swab. 635 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,839 They then cover it with this like green kind of goo. 636 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,759 Yeah. Then they shove it up your nose 637 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,079 and then they just go off for a walk, 638 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,479 come back and they yank it, 639 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,279 and he showed it me afterwards as well. 640 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,159 How many, like, hairs came out. Oh, my God. 641 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,639 But that's such a guy thing, isn't it? 642 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,959 He like showed me, he's like, "Yeah, are you impressed with that?" 643 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,559 A guy thing, yeah. 644 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,959 This week, something creepy was going on Netflix. 645 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:45,199 There's a woman, um, renting a house in Ham - H-A-M - the village, 646 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,919 currently with a ghost in it, and she doesn't know if it's her job 647 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,479 or the landlady's job to have the ghost evicted. 648 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,880 Oh. 649 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,359 I don't think I want to watch this, Lee. 650 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,039 Oh, go on. I want to get a good night's sleep. 651 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,079 I don't think I'm going to get a good night's sleep watching this. 652 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,480 Something Very Bad is Going to Happen? 653 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:18,399 "Five days until 'I do.'" 654 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,320 So in other words, five days till the wedding. 655 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,879 Oh, she's nodding off. She's nodding. 656 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,400 Time to pull over, love. 657 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,760 Oh. Careful. 658 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,039 Are you OK? Oh, my God, Do you want to switch? You can switch. 659 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:38,399 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 660 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,680 Why is he not driving? She's fucking falling asleep, man. 661 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,079 Why are they always driving off to the middle of nowhere? 662 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,040 Yeah. Where are they? 663 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:53,999 Stopping for a rest. 664 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,239 I would not be going there. 665 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,999 I would not be stopping there. 666 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,680 I would hold my wee until the next place that I get to. 667 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,199 What's she seen? What's she seen, Jane? 668 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,559 Dogging. 669 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,559 Oh, my God, Nicky! Nicky, come here. 670 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,919 What's she seen? What's in there? 671 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,439 Look. Oh, my God. Do you think it's OK? 672 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,319 A baby?! 673 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,279 Christ. What's this all about? 674 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,319 OK, stay here. I'm gonna go check the bathroom. 675 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,759 No, no, don't get separated from him. 676 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,079 Happy baby. 677 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,479 DOOR CREAKS 678 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:29,840 Oh, God's sake. 679 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,519 Oh, look at the state of that. 680 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,800 And that's the women's. I'd hate to see the men's. 681 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,479 Why are they all locked? 682 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,239 Who's left the baby in the car? 683 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,959 There's only one car in the car park. 684 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,119 I checked the men's room. 685 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,479 There's no-one in there. Oh, fuck. No service. 686 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,159 Oh, there's never no service when you want it, is they? 687 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,519 OK, but I think one of us should stay here with the baby. 688 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,159 And the other one should drive to the nearest gas station 689 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:56,679 or restaurant or whatever and call for help. 690 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,599 I'd say I'll go to the gas station. 691 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,560 No way could I stay there like that, waiting for somebody to come. 692 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:11,399 Why are all the services... Derelict. ..and creepy? 693 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:16,279 Hi. Hi. Excuse me. There's a, like, a rest stop 20 miles south of here. 694 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,559 20 miles! She's drove 20 miles. 695 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,079 We found a baby abandoned in a car 696 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,599 and I think that maybe something like... 697 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,119 Oh, there's someone else there. 698 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,959 There's someone else in the background. 699 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,639 Oh, my God, there is, you're right. 700 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,239 Uh... Benjamin. 701 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,439 Yeah. Benjamin. 702 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,199 She don't look like a Benjamin to me. No. 703 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,559 Is she a ghost? No, she's not a ghost, Dad. 704 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,079 She's something much worse. She's Gen Z. 705 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,359 Benjamin was the name of the guy who worked here before me, 706 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,719 but he hung himself in the bathroom with an electrical cord, 707 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,559 and they were too cheap to get me a name tag with my own name on it. 708 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,879 OK, this is all just looking lovely 709 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,199 and a happy place to hang out and have a beer. 710 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,439 Getting better by the second. 711 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,759 Could you call the cops now, please? Yeah, yeah. 712 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:57,560 Wait here. I'll call. 713 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,279 Will they stop this nonsense? Jane. Jane. 714 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,840 This show, every door is really noisy. 715 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,159 God, she likes fucking toilets, doesn't she? She's in the toilet. 716 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,120 Why is she going in the toilet again? 717 00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,520 Hovering. Good... Good choice. 718 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,240 Door just opened. 719 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,839 Oh, my God. 720 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,400 SCREAMS 721 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,679 Oh my God, that is fucking terrifying. 722 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,720 Oh, my God. 723 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,880 Oh, my God. I would be running out of there. 724 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,039 Oh, yeah. Gotta go and clear your head. 725 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,399 She was just having a pee and a guy's looked down on her, 726 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,919 and she's just like, "I'm gonna have a gumball." 727 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:02,920 Have a wee gumball, yeah. 728 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:07,439 There he is. Yeah! 729 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,680 Oh, my God. Is that Bill Bailey? 730 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,520 She's got her keys ready. 731 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,919 He's coming, Lee. He's coming. You can see him. 732 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,679 You can see him in the bubble gum machine. 733 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,120 You can see him through the glass ball. 734 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,720 My God, she put it straight through his hand. 735 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,080 He didn't even feel it. Shit, man. 736 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:39,800 Is it out yet? Yeah. 737 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,040 Do you want your key back? 738 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,920 Why is he feeling the hand and looking at the ring? 739 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,239 I'm sure he's the one. 740 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,799 Are you sure he's the one? 741 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,119 Weird. 742 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,519 Ooh. I remember my sisters asking me that about you. 743 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,800 Did they? Yeah. Are you sure he's the one? 744 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,999 Having been half scared to death, 745 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,920 Rachel headed back to her fiance at the service station. 746 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,079 Has she found him. Is she back? Is she back? 747 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,280 I can't breathe. 748 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,039 Where's the car? Where's the baby? 749 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,199 Where's your fella? 750 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,240 They're gone. 751 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,119 No, no! Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off! 752 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,599 Too much, too much. 753 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,439 For someone who handles horror as well, 754 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,519 you were a bit damsel in distressy, you were. 755 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,559 What did I do? Yeah, you... You were just a girl scream. 756 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,919 Yeah, I can handle it. Doesn't matter. 757 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,959 It doesn't matter. I can do like that and then go into fight mode, 758 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,200 innit? Will somebody save me? 759 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,480 Oh, God. 760 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,559 In Leeds... What do you think to my eyebrow pencil? 761 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,799 I did notice your eyebrows looked a little different today. 762 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,679 With this new eyebrow pencil, 763 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,039 I feel like the colour's a bit different, 764 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,599 and it makes them look like they've been drawn on with a Sharpie. 765 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,519 Yeah, they do look a bit Sharpie-ish. I didn't want to say. 766 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,559 ...sisters Ellie and Izzi. 767 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,959 I don't mind Sharpie eyebrows. 768 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,319 Do you not think my eyebrows are Sharpie-ish? 769 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,399 No. Yours looks softer than mine. 770 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,759 Maybe I just... Maybe... It's your application. 771 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,079 Maybe it's my application. Maybe it's my technique. 772 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,599 Yeah, I think it probably is. 773 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,079 Can't polish a turd. 774 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:38,239 No. 775 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:40,200 But you can draw eyebrows on it. 776 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,519 On Tuesday, there was something soft and fluffy on Channel 4. 777 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,879 Do you remember when I took my gran's neighbour's dog 778 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,279 out for a walk? 779 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:51,799 Bertie? Bertie was a whippet. 780 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:53,799 She ran home. 781 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,399 Away from you? I turned round, 782 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:56,520 the fucker was gone. 783 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,759 I mean, I personally feel about Merlin, 784 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,519 the reason he makes me so happy 785 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,479 is that I know that, in his little head, 786 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,399 he doesn't know about anything other than walks, 787 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,199 dog food and cuddling. 788 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,639 Oh, no. 789 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,439 I think he knows about a lot of... 790 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,639 No, he doesn't know about Putin, Ukraine. 791 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,199 He does. He's very... He doesn't. 792 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,879 He's very interested in the Iran conflict... He is not. 793 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,559 ...and the inconsistencies in Trump's behaviour. 794 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,480 {\an8}Every year, Woodgreen takes in over 600 dogs. 795 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,479 Good lad. Each one looking for a forever home. 796 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,039 Oh, look. 797 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,519 They're all lovely. 798 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,319 The newest arrival is on his way. 799 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,679 Oh! That looks like... ..a cockapoo. 800 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,359 Yep. So tell me, who have we got here? 801 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,399 This is Ozzy. He is eight months old. 802 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,039 Ozzy! Oh, is he being left at the pound? 803 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,679 We are in the process of moving internationally. 804 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,039 Oh! 805 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,639 She's in shock here. She can't believe this. Like, "What?!" 806 00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,959 She can't. Look at her. Leaving the dog behind. 807 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,519 "What?" We've weighed up the... 808 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,839 The various different factors, if you like, 809 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,879 with taking Ozzy with us. 810 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,239 There's vaccinations, there's the quarantine, 811 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,999 there's the flight, there's... temperature. 812 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,519 That must be so hard. 813 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,439 You get a dog and then, eight months later, you have to move 814 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,119 and you have to potentially give the dog up. 815 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:17,999 Actually, he's clearly doing the right thing. 816 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,319 Doing the right thing. 817 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,239 If I stay in here with Ozzy while you leave, if that's OK. Yep. 818 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:25,159 Cheers. Thank you very much. Take care. 819 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,559 Bye. Bye-bye. Oh, he's leaving. Oh... Oh. 820 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,199 Oh, bless him. Oh, that's got to be heartbreaking. 821 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,839 Oh, look at Oz. Oh, no. 822 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,239 It's OK, buddy. MAKES KISSING NOISE 823 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,559 Aw! 824 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,959 Don't show this. 825 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,279 "Where's my dad going? Where's my dad?" 826 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,239 GASPING 827 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,519 With mum and dad in tow, 828 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:46,919 animal-obsessed Aurora is keeping all of her options open. 829 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,399 Look at her, with the little dog teddy and her dog jumper. 830 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,759 She's on a mission to get a dog today, isn't she? 831 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,719 Have you discussed who's going to be doing 832 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:56,039 all the different jobs with this dog? 833 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,079 No. 834 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,439 Aw! 835 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,119 Who's going to be...? She's gorgeous. 836 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,479 We have discussed who's going to do jobs... Yeah. 837 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,839 ...because we said you need to do some of these jobs, don't you? 838 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,479 Clean up after it and wipe its feet... Yeah. 839 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,999 ...after it's been the garden. 840 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,679 "Oh!" She's like, "What did I agree to again?" 841 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,079 Yeah. I don't really know. I agreed to something, 842 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,519 but I don't really know. 843 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:19,919 You clean up after it, and you wipe it feet. 844 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,999 Ha-ha! Got it all worked out, Aurora. Huh? 845 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,319 Come here. This way. Buzzing! 846 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,759 Oh, here he comes! 847 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,119 Oh, come on, Ozzy. 848 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,599 I love this part. 849 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,879 It's like, the first meet. 850 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,240 Oh! He's here. 851 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,519 Here he is. 852 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:37,959 Oh, look. 853 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,479 What will she think? 854 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,919 Oh. Ozzy. 855 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,119 Oh! 856 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,359 Look at Aurora's face. 857 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:44,679 So he's very into everything. 858 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,199 He is a social butterfly. Oh! 859 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,559 Oh, she's not frightened of him, is she? 860 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,879 Oh! No, don't run away from him. 861 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,239 He's fine. Ozzy! Has he just got a wet mouth? 862 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:55,559 I think Aurora's a bit cautious, isn't she? 863 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,040 Yeah, she is. Yeah. 864 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,079 No... Well, this isn't going as I thought it would. 865 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,879 Calm down. The mum's panicking now 866 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:08,279 cos she's thinking, "Have we made the right decision here?" Yeah. 867 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,079 "This is going to be a McDonald's on the way home." 868 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,360 Yeah. Crying. Try and smooth things over. 869 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,759 Go and get him a toy. Go on, Aurora. 870 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,199 Good girl. 871 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,559 Can you see in there? 872 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,279 This toy, he might like. 873 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,679 Yeah. Throw it. 874 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,639 Whoo! AURORA LAUGHS 875 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,959 Hey, look. She's playing with him, Ron. 876 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,879 Yeah, look at that. 877 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,679 Is he going to bring it back, though? 878 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:33,959 Whoo! 879 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,319 AURORA LAUGHS 880 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:36,919 Oh, she's having fun now. Whoo! 881 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,279 Oh. 882 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,679 She didn't flinch, though. 883 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,319 They're becoming friends now. 884 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,119 She's bonding with him. She's bonding with him. 885 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,679 OK. 886 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,279 Come on. 887 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,999 Oh, I think he wants me. 888 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,199 Oh. He's sitting down. 889 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:54,760 Yes! That's what I want to hear! 890 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,600 Well done, Ozzy. 891 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,080 Well done. 892 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,280 Oh! 893 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:11,119 Stop it! There we go. Stop it. Now it's all perfect. Mm. 894 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,039 He's making friends with me. 895 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,799 That's sweet, isn't it? 896 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,239 SOBBING 897 00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:18,639 Is this making you cry? 898 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,279 That has really... 899 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,959 Honestly, in a world full of shit, 900 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,359 how lovely is that? 901 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,399 Really nice. Oh, my God, 902 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,159 that is just adorable. 903 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,919 Yes. That was really lovely. 904 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,439 You're crying! Are you? 905 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:31,919 Yes, slightly. 906 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,239 No! 907 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:36,039 So, I'm booking us in... 908 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:37,759 No! ..to go to the doghouse. 909 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,639 No, we're not. No, no, no. Why? No, not yet. 910 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,999 We would think about it, but I know, if you go there, 911 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,839 you'll just come back with a dog. 912 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,439 I can give an old boy another chance in life, like you. 913 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,080 Oh, thanks, darling. 914 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,679 In Leeds... Have you recovered from Southport Weekender? 915 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,159 Because we lost our voices. 916 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,839 I was going to say, up until yesterday, I was a bit croaky. 917 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,839 I definitely clocked up about 85,000 steps that weekend. 918 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,399 I know. 919 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,359 ...best friends Danielle and Daniella. 920 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,279 They say ravers burn more calories than gym goers. 921 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,839 Oh, absolutely. Let me tell you, in my raving days - 922 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:16,839 at my, like, pinnacle of my raving days - I was svelte. 923 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:17,999 Mm. Same. 924 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,359 I was... Same. Body! Same. 925 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,359 And then you're adding the heels. 926 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,039 My toes were like that. 927 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,559 But my "body"... "Body!" 928 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,839 With them ginger toes. 929 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,040 But "body"! 930 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,479 Oh, man, take me back. 931 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,359 On Sunday night, 932 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,719 contestants were playing cat-and-mouse 933 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,079 in a new high-stakes game show on Channel 4. 934 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,639 I've seen this advertised. Looks all right, this. 935 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,439 It looks... Basically one bunch of people chase another lot of people. 936 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,399 Adult hide and seek. Sounds cracking. 937 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,759 We're resorting to child's games now... Yeah. 938 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,119 ...cos we're running out of game show ideas. 939 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,039 Next, it's going to be hopscotch or something like that. 940 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,399 It'll be bloody Red Rover, won't it? 941 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,399 {\an8}Ten players... 942 00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,799 {\an8}...will fight to win up to £100,000... 943 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,119 You don't even need to pay me to do this. 944 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:05,599 Can I just say? 945 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,039 You'd do it for free? I'll do it for free. Just for fun. 946 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,519 ...pitted against each other as prey... 947 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,079 I'm feeling so nervous right now. 948 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,319 ...versus predator. 949 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,119 Do you know who'd be good at this? Sue from t'running club. 950 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,479 Yeah, she would. Oh, I hate being chased. 951 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,159 I have nightmares about that, you know. 952 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:22,799 Oh. Do you? Oh, terrible. 953 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,119 And they never catch me. 954 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:25,879 God knows how. 955 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,480 Well, I must be fast in my dreams. 956 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,359 You love The Hunger Games and all that sort of stuff too, so... 957 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,079 The thrill of the chase. Yeah. 958 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,399 Once the chase is over, who cares? 959 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,279 THEY LAUGH 960 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,639 Yeah, you chased me for so long and then, you know, got me. 961 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,679 It's the easiest hunt I've ever had. Yeah. 962 00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,559 Predators, your task is simple. 963 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,599 Hunt the prey. 964 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,199 Surely you want to be the predator. 965 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,519 What group would you want to be in - prey or predators? 966 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:56,839 I need to see the benefits of both. 967 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,479 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 968 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,759 If one of you catches a prey, 969 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,719 you will swap roles in the game. 970 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:04,719 Oh, so the prey doesn't die? 971 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:07,039 The prey just becomes a predator. 972 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:10,879 Each night, one predator will be voted out of the contest. 973 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,519 Oh, so you're safer being prey! 974 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,319 You'd think that being a predator would be a good thing. 975 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,639 But in this game, it's not. You don't want to be a predator. 976 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:18,959 You want to be prey. 977 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,719 At the end of this hunt, 978 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:23,079 if any of the five of us are still predators, 979 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,479 the rest of us who have become prey... 980 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,959 ...has their back. 981 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,479 They're plotting, Mary. 982 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,039 Trying to scheme already, you know. Trying to form alliances. 983 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,239 Prey are the only ones that get a say in the cull, 984 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:35,519 so Nathan has proposed a pact. 985 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,719 "Pact"? What's the pact? 986 00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:38,399 Right, we've got a pact. Already. 987 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:39,959 They've only just met each other. 988 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,799 As long as we convert the majority of us into prey, we're all safe. 989 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,079 Yeah. Nathan's basically put his hat in the ring here and said, 990 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,199 "Look, us lot, we've got to stick together as predators." 991 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,879 So, these five are on the back foot, aren't they? 992 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,199 By the end of today, they need to be prey. 993 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,800 Three. Two. One. 994 00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,559 KLAXON 995 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,199 Go! Get out of there. 996 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,839 It's basically a big game of tig. 997 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,399 In the woods. 998 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,799 For adults. 999 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,359 For money! 1000 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:09,599 Fuck's sake. 1001 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,800 After predator Roy caught Shelley, he was then on the run as prey. 1002 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,759 Who's that? 1003 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,159 Oh, he's spotted someone. 1004 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,479 Oh, it's another one, it's another one, it's another one. 1005 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:22,759 No way! 1006 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,999 Out of all the people, I had to see in this damn forest, 1007 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,399 it had to be you. It's fucking Roy! 1008 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,079 Roy! This is going to test the alliance now 1009 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,439 cos he's the first one to switch over 1010 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,399 and he's the first one caught again. See this pond? 1011 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,720 Yeah. There's another... 1012 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,239 What? Did he just say, "I really want to catch you." 1013 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:42,799 It was his idea! 1014 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,119 Nathan's the guy that suggested the pact. 1015 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,119 Yeah. No, Nathan! 1016 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,719 He's funny. Nathan didn't even hold back. 1017 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,519 He just went, "Shut up for a minute. I really want to catch ya." 1018 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,879 We can't started turning each other in the first hunt. 1019 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,239 All right. I'm not going to catch you because I like the game plan. 1020 00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,559 Tempting, though, wouldn't it? I'd have done it. 1021 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:00,799 I know you would. 1022 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,080 You'd just sack that pact off the minute it was made. 1023 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,079 Players, the Glade is now reopened. 1024 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,879 The hunt will conclude in ten minutes. 1025 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,279 Oh. Ten minutes. 1026 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,119 You've got to make your way back to the Glade, where you all started. 1027 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,120 Yeah. Oh! Come on. 1028 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,719 Ready to pounce. It's Nathan! Nathan again. 1029 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,319 No! 1030 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,719 Nathan's coming out. 1031 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:25,639 Nathan's coming for Roy. 1032 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,119 Oh, Roy! Roy! 1033 00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,399 Oh, my God, he is, too. 1034 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,079 Nathan, you shit! 1035 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,719 Sorry. 1036 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,519 I'm sorry. I've got to do it. 1037 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:36,599 Oh, no. 1038 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,479 Oh, I cannot believe the cheek of Nathan! 1039 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:40,919 Yes! 1040 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,319 No! 1041 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,639 Oh, come on. 1042 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,199 Oh, they got him. But it was Mel who got him. 1043 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,359 So, not only is Nathan showing his true colours, 1044 00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,399 he's also still a predator. 1045 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,039 That's chef's kiss. 1046 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,919 This has proper made me want a game of hide and seek. 1047 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,520 Mum... I'll hide first. 1048 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,479 Deal is, it's got to be within the house and the garden. 1049 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,200 Give me 30 seconds. 1050 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:07,120 Yeah? Yeah. Sorted. 1051 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,280 15 seconds now. No, you start when I go. 1052 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,800 See what's on the other side now, Julie. 1053 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,440 ♪ In a perfect world 1054 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:37,240 ♪ In a perfect world, singing, yeah, oh 1055 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,560 ♪ In a perfect world 1056 00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:47,520 ♪ In a perfect world 1057 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,839 ♪ In a perfect, perfect world. ♪ 1058 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,080 Subtitles by Red Bee Media